How will you know when it’s “the time” to euthanize your failing dog? If you’re facing this difficult decision or if you’ve had to say goodbye to your canine companion, my heart goes out to you.
Not long ago, our family had to make the difficult decision to say goodbye to our beloved dog, Luke. (For part one of the story of Luke’s cancer diagnosis and his passing, please read Saying Goodbye to Our Dog: Our Family’s Story of Our Last Days with Luke.) With raw honesty—my own recent experience weighing heavily on my heart—I’d like to share my thoughts with you.
I know the pain is stifling. May these reflections on my own experience with Luke help bring you peace and comfort.
5 heart-to-heart takeaways to help you know when it is “the time” for your failing dog:
1. It is always better to be too early rather than too late when making THE decision.
More times than I can count over my 20+ years as a veterinarian, I have found myself sitting on the floor with weeping clients who have come to me to euthanize their failing dog. And they ask, “Are we doing the right thing by letting our dog go today?” (This is particularly true for dog owners caring for elderly dogs.)
While I can’t tell them that 2:18 on Thursday afternoon is indeed the “right time,” I can reassure them that they are in the right window of time, validating their decision to let their dog go with peace and dignity.
My guiding principle in saying goodbye to Luke was not to eke out every last second of life together, but rather to spend every last second of life together that he could enjoy.
In reality, Luke probably could have “lived” another week or two. But he had a rapidly growing tumor in his chest which was affecting his attitude, appetite, and breathing. We didn’t want him to get to the point where he was struggling for air.
My daughter (who was Luke’s person), was very cognizant of this. In the days after Luke’s diagnosis with cancer, she repeatedly told me, “I don’t want to do what’s best for me. I want to do what’s best for my dog. I know he’s not happy. He has such a sadness to his face, and I don’t want to keep him alive for my sake.”
The veterinarian who came to our home to euthanize Luke commented, “You’re fortunate to know when it’s time. So many dog owners struggle with this decision and wait too long.”
We can’t change the past, but my wish for you, if you are wrestling with making THE decision for your beloved dog, is that you will never have to lament, “I waited too long.”
#2 As much as we all long for it, the odds are slim that our dogs will pass away peacefully in their sleep.
I don’t know the actual stats, but I can tell you that very few of my own clients have been given the gift of their faithful canine companion passing gently in the night.
For the vast majority of dog owners, we must be brave and selfless and give our dogs the final gift of a peaceful and painless passing through euthanasia.
After counseling many clients and through my own experience with Luke’s passing, my heartfelt advice is this: making THE decision will most likely be a part of the journey of life with a dog.
#3 Release some of the pressure by living in the moment and treasuring each day with your dog.
The big, looming question is, “How will I know when it’s time to say goodbye to my beloved dog?” I believe, to some extent, that focusing on this question adds additional pressure during an already difficult time. When you recognize that, due to old age or serious illness, your dog is on a downward trend and not recovering, you probably don’t have to plan the specific date and hour immediately. Rather, take it one day at a time and consider each additional day as a gift.
As I discussed Luke’s progressive failing with the veterinarian’s assistant, she shared, “When clients are struggling with THE decision, I advise them to put out two jars.” She tells them, “Every time your dog is having a great day, put a penny in that jar. But every time you think ‘My dog’s just not himself, and I’m concerned about his quality of life,’ then put a penny in the other jar. Watch the pennies in each jar add up. Pretty soon it’s very obvious.”
Keeping a dog health journal is another way to track your dog’s good days and bad days. It will help you objectively reflect back on your thoughts and observations over time.
Recently, my friends lost their beloved senior dog unexpectedly after an anesthetic procedure. The dog developed a secondary pneumonia. My friends went to visit their beloved dog in the ICU and made the decision, based on his poor prognosis, to euthanize. In Luke’s situation, we had a couple weeks to process his diagnosis. In the case of senior dogs, sometimes the goodbye can be very prolonged.
While each situation is different, I think this is wise counsel across the board:
- let information (not emotion) be your guide
- seek insight, advice, and support from your veterinarian
- when in doubt, please remember point #1.
#4 Talk openly about euthanasia before “THE time.”
If more than one person lives with your dog, I hope you can talk openly and have meaningful conversations about the possibility of euthanasia as the time approaches. I’ve witnessed many couples who tiptoe into the topic of dog euthansia during a veterinary appointment. It’s as if the subject is too painful to broach at home and brushing it under the rug will negate the reality.
However, I’ve also witnessed the sense of relief and strength that comes when a couple finally talks openly about euthanasia for their dog. I’ve seen the compassion and support that comes from dog owners talking and crying it out together. Also, if you have children, I encourage you to include them in age-appropriate discussions. Kids are amazingly resilient and intuitive. In my experience, trying to “protect” kids makes it more painful for them in the long run.
In our case, my daughter Abigail made the final decisions for Luke. He was her heart dog. However, Abigail and I talked about Luke’s well-being and health status daily, often multiple times a day. So it was my decision too. As the mom of eight children who all tenderly loved Luke, there were many questions. I tried to answer each one in a sensitive but honest way.
#5 Consider at-home euthanasia for your dog.
There’s no place like home. Dorothy had it right. And it’s especially true when it comes to euthanasia.
Euthanasia should be a reverent time, scripted the way you want it. Veterinary hospitals are busy, loud places. With home euthanasia, your dog’s last moments can be in the comfortable, stress-free environment of his or her home, and you can grieve in privacy.
Resources for at-home euthanasia
If you are searching for resources about at-home euthanasia or end of life care for your dog, I strongly endorse and adore Lap of Love veterinary hospice and home euthanasia service. It is a network of veterinarians from around the country who are dedicated to end-of-life care, including in-home euthanasia. You can find more information along with a directory of veterinarians in your area at Lap of Love. Also, Home to Heaven—one of the world’s first animal hospice services—offers a map of in-home pet euthanasia providers nationwide on their website.
I’ve heard many people say, “I could never be a veterinarian because I could never put a dog to sleep.” Well, I don’t want to say it’s my favorite part of the job, but I can tell you I’ve seen the value, for my clients and for my patients. Therefore, it’s my privilege and my honor to be able to help pets transition at the end of their lives.
A dog’s love lives on
I’ve read studies claiming that it’s harder for people to lose their pets than human loved ones. I’m sure that’s not true for us all, but one thing dogs have over humans is this: Dogs embody unconditional love, forgiveness, and joy.
I think a dog is a little reflector of God himself on this earth.
Do you have questions about end-of-life care for your dog?
Please comment below. By connecting with others, may our hearts heal.
Dr. Buzby:
The above article is just what I needed to read at this moment. I came across this site like many people because I am contemplating letting my girl go. She is a black lab mix and 15 1/2 years old. Two weeks ago she began waking me up every hour to go outside and pacing in the backyard for 15 – 20 minutes at a time. This went on for 4 nights in a row, never sleeping longer than an hour. I took her to the vet on the 5th day and he said it was pain. I started her on the pain meds and she seemed to be doing better. I went on vacation for a week and she was pretty good, sleeping through the night, not pacing. I came home and the second night she woke me up several times during the night wanting to go outside to pace and came back in looking confused. I think the pain meds may have increased this dementia issue. I am currently at work and looked on the camera and she is pacing and walking back and forth into a corner and barking. She has never done that before as far as I know. After reading the above maybe I need to let her go. I do not want to medicate her for her last days, I do not want her in pain and I do not want her pacing and feeling confused. To make matters worse she was my Mom’s dog for the first 13.5 years of her life. My Mom passed away in August of 2024 and I didn’t expect her to live 6 months because of her broken heart but we helped each other navigate the grief. And I am still grieving my Mom so now to think of losing Sophie is unimaginable. This is so very hard!
But I absolutely want to do what is right for her. Just wish I knew what the best thing is, or maybe I do and don’t want to face it.
Dear Susan,
My heart goes out to you as you face this emotional decision for your beloved girl. As a dog nears the end of their life, they enter a window of time where euthanasia can be a loving option even if it isn’t urgent. From what you describe, it sounds like your pup may have entered her window. It is ok to let go before all joy is lost and the only thing that remains is pain. Ultimately, you have to trust your intuition as you know your girl better than anyone else. Praying for strength and clarity as you navigate this difficult path. Bless you. ♥
Thank you so much for your articles. I was torn about the timing of letting our little Terrier-bishon mix Happy go tomorrow. He’s a rescue doe we got about 15 years ago, so hes about 16-17. We found out about 3 weeks ago that he has kidney disease. He already is on pimobinden and enapril for a few years now. Last week we redid the labs last week and all his values worsened except for phosphate, likely because we’ve been using a binder. The vet said he had stage 4 kidney disease and a UTI. He also had an eye infection. We got antibiotics and eye drops going. Our vet shared that she had put her own dog to sleep when her dog’s values were lower than Happy’s. I had been hopeful before that but was preparing to let him go over the next few months. He had gained a little weight back in those 3 weeks and seemed more comfortable and happy overall. But he continues to be picky about food. On Friday I asked if we could do anything to keep comfortable and they gave me a second appetite stimulant and anti-nausea. He seemed so much better after the anti-nausea, back himself, just sleeping a bit more. Well I let everyone know, so we could all say goodbye to him and scheduled his euthanasia appointment for tomorrow. By Tuesday I was worried he might not make it to Friday, as he seems weaker and has started refusing even things like chicken. Then he had his monthly grooming yesterday – to asked them to just give him a spa day and skip anything stressful. They did. The groomer said his anal glands were very full and he’s always seemed to like grooming, just a bit perkier afterwards. And that’s what happened yesterday. He had a pep in his step, ate his food eagerly. Then last night he woke me up to get into bed with me, something he hasn’t done for a few weeks now. I started really wondering if my timing was off after that. Then got up and he wanted to stay in my bed…I left his new stairs so he could get down when he wanted.. I kept checking on him every 10-15 minutes. Well I just went to check on him and he had wet himself and was just laying in it, like he just laid there. He is still going outside to potty so this is a first. But it confirmed that my timing is about right and maybe even a day or two later. I gave all of us (ex-husband, granddaughters, daughter, long-time groomers) this week to say goodbye. And we have. It maybe sounds bad but him just peeing on himself while he laid there told me that it is exactly time. I’m glad he’s had a few good days and I’m glad he seems generally comfortable and happy. And it’s so hard to let him go, but I want to help him pass with comfort and dignity instead of suffering and fear. Reading all the replies here helped me feel more settled that it’s time for his journey to end. Still hard and I’ll miss him, but want to give him this last thing – a peaceful passing. 😞♥️
Dear Lynne,
I am so sorry for your loss of Happy. What a blessing you were able to give him such a wonderful last week. I am certain he knew how much he was loved and that he lived a very “happy” life. I know your heart is aching without him by your side. Praying for comfort and peace as you give your heart time to heal. May his memory be with you always. ♥
I don’t know how I found this site, but it’s an amazing resource. I’m in a true dilemma. When I adopted my little mixed breed (terrier, poodle, Italian greyhound, etc), Puck, he was less than six weeks old and on the street. He is now 12. I have a degenerative neurological condition, and was quite high functioning then. He was well trained, I could travel with him and walk him and he was great with people. He now weighs 9 pounds and suffers from severe arthritis with a collapsed disc and a chronically thickened gut. He is on pain medication and had been doing fairly well. His behavior has changed dramatically in the last 6-8 months. He is constantly whining, barking and begging and has developed hypersensitive hearing to anything outside, which sets him off barking. He constantly barks outdoors and sometimes forgets he went out to potty because he’s so agitated. He can no longer tolerate people visiting or my being on the phone. He is now fearful of other dogs, which ended my neighbor’s respite sitting. (He loves her, but is afraid of her dog.) Some days are relatively ok, others are unbearable. I am unable to walk him now due to my own balance and instability, but he is walked 3 times per week. He often limps and vocalizes from pain after these quite short walks. He now wants constant one on one attention and although he has some hesitation, he can jump up on the bed, which is astonishing. (I tried to patiently train him to use small stairs and it was impossible.) He wakes me in the night and early morning whining, (he is crate trained) which exhausts me. He has always had sensitivities, so I make his food. Just of late, he has become oversensitive to touch, I use shirts and soft blankets. His groomer of 10 years was barely able to touch him on the last visit and couldn’t complete his grooming. Now his growing hair causes him discomfort and I must wash him every other day and change his shirt. I’m not certain all of these issues are from pain; there’s an aspect of his behavior that is reminiscent of dementia, just not as extreme. (I went through that with my beloved Lab.) Most of my time is devoted to him, and I can’t manage my own tasks, much less do what I’d like. I don’t feel resentful; I am just terribly sad and frustrated that neither of us is well. It has now come to symptom management, and I feel both of us are suffering. I do not want him extremely sedated and his medication had worked well for 2 years. We have no vet familiar with our individual pets anymore due to VCA clinics, which is disheartening. I will not put him up for adoption or consider a shelter. I love him too much. (I’ve had counseling and those options were suggested.) Any advice or suggestions would be greatly appreciated.
Dear SD,
My heart goes out to you as you face this extremely difficult situation with Puck. I can’t imagine the level of stress this must be keeping you under. It is clear your boy is dearly loved, and you would do anything to ensure he remains well taken care of, but please make sure you are taking care of yourself. Your quality of life matters too! While there may be other supplements or medications that could offer an improved quality of life for Puck, sometimes saying goodbye is the most loving option. I do think your pup is experiencing some aspects of dementia on top of his arthritis pain and other conditions. Mental disease can definitely cause as much suffering (if not more) as physical disease. I will attach links to other articles with more information and great comments from other readers as well. Praying for comfort and a clear path forward. Bless you and your sweet boy.
1. When Caring For A Sick Pet Becomes Too Much: Pet Caregiver Fatigue
2. Using a Quality of Life Scale for Dogs
3. Signs of Dementia in Dogs: Stages, Symptoms & Treatment
4. Dementia in Dogs: When to Euthanize Your Beloved Senior Dog
5. Preparing for Your Dog’s Euthanasia: 10 Thoughts for Peace
Dear Dr Buzby, words cannot express my thanks for your response. You are a most empathic veterinarian and person. I found myself crying at my vet’s office for an hour when I had to let go of my beloved lab 15 years ago. He told me kindly that it was far past time. Those were the days when our vets knew our families and our pet babies intimately! A million thanks for your most kind and supportive response (which I needed to hear from a vet) as well as the resources. Puck and I will continue loving each other one day at a time as we take this journey together.💕
I just came across this blog and just figured I’d leave a comment. I have a 5 year old American bully who will be 6 in July.. This last dec he had one seizure which led to multiple within a few hr time span so I ended up deciding to rush him to the er vet which they kept him overnight did bloodwork, whatever tests they really could do outside of mri, cat scan &’ things the neurologists would do.. Everything came back normal he was started on meds for it and was okay for a little while but never really himself again.. last month he start declining, seizures seemed to be coming back a little stronger, some nights I would hear him howling from the discomfort which is heartbreaking.. I’m a single mom of 2 kids and I have other animals in my home as well so financially things just aren’t to where I can afford to just spend 5k + to get him to the neurologist to not even know for sure they can “fix” him.. over the last 2-3 weeks he has started losing his appetite, even stopped drinking for a few days. I’ve been to the vet. They gave him a steroid shot, fluids, Entyce to boost his appetite and it did seem as if that worked for a few days but he’s just back downhill again.. I’ve told my vet I just don’t want him to be suffering but I just can’t bring myself to make that call.. I feel so selfish but just seeing the light in his eyes so dim. Hearing him in pain, knowing he doesn’t deserve it. Just makes it so hard. He will have good days some days which are very few maybe 2-3 if that but the rest are bad. He doesn’t act like a normal dog anymore.. If you look at him it’s almost as if he’s just given up hope. He’s tired and struggling.. I know you’re probably thinking how can she say all of this “negative” and still not make the choice but it’s hard. I’ve had him since he was 8-9 weeks old. A little potatoe, and he’s only 5 that’s why I think it’s so hard because in my eyes he’s still a little baby.. My little baby and I don’t have much of a support system, these dogs are all I have sometimes, most times. He’s been so loving and nurturing to me during my tough moments and here I am just stuck not knowing what to do.. It’s very heartbreaking.. It’s like deep down I know but it puts this “frog” in my throat everytime I think about saying it.. I’m not what to do.
Dear Carol,
My heart aches for you as you face this impossibly difficult decision for your beloved boy. I hear you and can feel the emotion in your words…. but I can also tell that you know it’s time to let go. You are the only one that can take your boy’s pain away and offer him relief. It is clear you have given him a good life, but a peaceful passing is just as important. I would rather say goodbye one day too early than one day too late and allow unnecessary suffering. There is no greater act of selfless love than to allow your own heart to break in order to spare your pup from additional pain. I am praying for your strength and for peace for your heart. Bless you and your sweet boy. ♥
Preparing for Your Dog’s Euthanasia: 10 Thoughts for Peace
Thank you so very much for this thoughtful guide and also the post on Cushing’s disease. I especially appreciate your advice that it is not to early. Just the fact that we were discussing euthanasia, meant it was time to let go of our Pit Bull, Layla. Her decline from Cushings felt gradual and it was easy for me to forget all the things she loved doing, but as we celebrated her life, I realized just how much she had stopped doing — zoomies, rolling in the grass, lots of kisses to my husband’s bald head, rock hopping at the park, nightly routine of tricks for treats, and finally she refused to go for a walk. I know we did the right thing and I’m grateful she is no longer suffering. Thanks for your compassionate guidance during a difficult time.
Dear Lori,
My heart goes out to you with your recent loss of Layla. It sounds like she lived a wonderful life full of happiness and joy. I am certain she knew how much she was loved and am glad you were able to give her a peaceful passing. Praying for comfort for your heart and may her memory be with you always. ♥
Mera jerman shepherd dog arthritis and prostate issue se pareshan hai age 13+ hai chal nhi skta bed ridden hai bed sore ho rhe hai haal hi me uska testicles ka operation karwaya but urine paas sirf catheter se kr rha hai din bhar dard se rota hai mai usko euthnise krwana chahti hu pr husband aur beta iske favour me nhi hai kya kru?
Dear Poonam,
I am so sorry you are facing this difficult situation with your Shepherd. From what you describe, it sounds like his health has declined and his quality of life is poor. I am not sure what you can say to your family to convince them that it is best to say goodbye to your dog. I will attach links to other articles with more information and great comments from other readers. Maybe if you have your husband read some of the information in the articles it will help him see that saying goodbye can be a loving option and the only way to offer freedom from suffering. Praying for strength and peace as you navigate this emotional path. Bless you and yours. ♥
1. Dog Euthanasia: Knowing When to Say Goodbye
2. Using a Quality of Life Scale for Dogs
3. Preparing for Your Dog’s Euthanasia: 10 Thoughts for Peace