Finding peace in your heart after the goodbye
Grieving the loss of a dog after euthanasia is every shade of difficult. After listening to a dear friend express the guilt she felt following her dog’s euthanasia, integrative veterinarian Dr. Julie Buzby shares a heartfelt message on finding peace after the goodbye.
I learned something this week that broke my heart. My friend Jamie has been living with needless guilt for years over the way her dog was euthanized.
Having been a part of hundreds of dog euthanasias, I’m melted each time by the grief, but I’ve also come to terms with the value of a peaceful, gentle euthanasia. However, it never occurred to me that a client might linger in doubt or guilt about the way their pet was euthanized.
So I think it’s worth having a hard conversation about grieving the loss of a dog after euthanasia. After Jamie and I talked, she sent me the sweetest message:
“Thank you for the kind words. It puts peace in my heart.“
Whether saying goodbye to your dog is a part of your past or your future, I want you to have peace in your heart too.
Two senior dogs and two different goodbyes
So let’s back up to beginning. In the midst of a recent string of texts Jamie and I exchanged about senior dog care, she asked me this question about dog euthanasia:
I had two different experiences with saying goodbye to my two dogs. And I keep questioning which one was right?”
This clearly wasn’t a conversation to be had via text. So I called her and asked for the backstory before I offered my thoughts.
Here is Jamie’s story about grieving the loss of her dogs:
Saying goodbye to Sabrina: Jamie’s story
“When I lost my first dog, Sabrina, it was winter. My parents were snowbirds and living in south Florida. I had planned on driving to stay the holiday with them as Sabrina and I always had.
It turned out to be the longest trip of my life as I stopped at various veterinary hospitals along the way since Sabrina was not breathing well. I finally made it to my destination and for a few days Sabrina perked up. But when we had two nights in a row without sleep due to her labored breathing, no longer wanting to eat nor even sit in the room with our family, I knew it was time.
Related article: Signs Your Dog is Dying
The next morning, I went to a local veterinary office while Sabrina stayed home with my parents. The vet came out and spoke with me, read Sabrina’s records that I’d brought along, and we scheduled her appointment for later that same day.
When the vet met Sabrina, he said she was so calm that only one shot would be needed. He explained that once he gave the injection, it would take no longer than 10 seconds to work.
I looked into Sabrina’s beautiful brown eyes and told her that I loved her and everything I wanted to say. My mom and sister-in-law were at my side also telling her how loved she was. Within what felt like two to three seconds, she dropped into my arms. The vet then listened for a heartbeat and softly told me she was gone. I held her for ten minutes and then my father and brother came in and helped me to the car.
Ruminating over the guilt of my dog’s passing
It was not until years later that I would feel guilt about my decisions and the questions I did not ask.
When I knew my next dog, Rémedy, only had a little time left, I was blessed to be able to take almost two weeks off work to be with her. Rémedy was a blind/deaf dog I had rescued.
Related article: Meet Rémedy—10 Tips for Whole Pet Healthcare
I always sensed Rémedy felt so alive at the ocean. She would put her head up in the breeze and sniff the oceans smells. She even had an extra pep in her step when we would walk along with our feet/paws in the ocean.
So we traveled to Folly Beach. We also went to our favorite spot at the river. We spent time with family. And of course I spoiled her with her favorite treats.
Making arrangements for Rémedy’s goodbye
I had made arrangements with my local vet to say goodbye in a specific way. I told the vet I wanted Rémedy to be on my lap, and I wanted to hold her the whole time. We went in to the room—my mom was at my side. The room was lit softly, and the vet came in and told me there would be two shots. One to relax her and then the final injection. I said ok. But once the first injection was given, her head dropped and she was completely out of it. Not relaxed…gone.
Before the euthanasia injection, the vet asked me, “Are you ready?” Then a second time, “Are you sure you are ready?” even though I had answered yes the first time. I held my girl and told her how I loved her. Then the vet listened for a heartbeat and told me she was gone. I held her for ten minutes and then my parents helped me leave.
I left that experience with a lot of guilt and sadness. The first shot did not just relax her. She was limp.
Grieving the loss of my sweet dog after euthanasia
If I had known she would be that out of it, I would have said the things I wanted to say to her before that first injection. Or maybe I would have requested just one shot, like Sabrina. Or I would have said my last words to her first and then told the vet to immediately give the second shot and not ask me and wait in between.
I’ve often replayed it in my mind.
Since then, I have discussed my experiences with others who are making the difficult decision for their dogs. I’m still left not knowing what is right and what is wrong so that I may be prepared better for the next time.
I do know I should have asked many more questions. For example, does one method cause pain while the other is painless? I don’t know why this question didn’t come to me at the time, but who is thinking clearly when they are about to lose their best friend?”
Dr. Buzby shares a heartfelt message of comfort
As I listened to Jamie share the differences between Rémedy’s and Sabrina’s passing, my heart ached for her. It was clear that her unanswered questions had lingered and guilt had bubbled up over the years causing her unnecessary pain.
However, I also knew that words of reassurance, comfort, and truth could help. Here’s what Jamie needed to know:
There is no “right” way to perform a euthanasia in terms of standard operating procedure. Ultimately, euthanasia is about what is best for the dog. Period.
And after that, it’s about determining the preferences of the dog’s family. Like most of veterinary medicine, helping a dog transition out of this life is more of an art than a science. This is precisely why Jamie had two different experiences, and why she was conflicted.
The guiding principle for end-of-life care
While there is no “right” protocol for dog euthanasia, there is a “right” guiding principle. The “right” way to perform a euthanasia is to make it physically and emotionally pain free for the dog. Dog euthanasia is euphemistically referred to as “putting a dog to sleep” for a reason. That’s the goal.
Sabrina’s vet opted to give her one injection because he believed that, in her debilitated state, she would go right to sleep without any struggle from the euthanasia solution, which essentially induces general anesthesia and then gradually stops the heart.
With Rémedy, the vet opted to “take out an insurance policy” to guarantee a perfect process. Dog euthanasia has to earn a procedural perfect 10 every single time. There is no room for error.
By administering a sedation injection in advance, this vet followed the protocol that the vast majority of vets use today. I almost always administer a sedative injection before the final injection for these reasons:
- any anxiety or pain the dog is feeling melts away under the influence of the medicine
- when the dog relaxes, the owners also tend to visibly relax
- and, if I’m honest, the vet is more relaxed too because a quiet, calm goodbye is almost guaranteed once the dog is sedated.
Facilitating a compassionate goodbye
A euthanasia appointment is such a precious, vulnerable time for the hearts of all present. I’ve obliged all kinds of special requests because there is no “right way.”
My final answer to the question Jamie texted me is this: both vets were right. They both facilitated a compassionate, peaceful goodbye.
Honoring your dog by giving yourself peace
If the guilt of your dog’s goodbye lingers in your heart—whether your dog’s passing was recent or years ago—I hope that by sharing Jamie’s story, you find peace. Ultimately, you were there for your dog in those final moments when he needed you most.
If you’re preparing for your dog’s passing
If your dog’s passing is looming on the horizon, please read part two of this series: Preparing for Your Dog’s Euthanasia: 10 Thoughts for Peace. We’re here to offer comfort and support during this difficult time.
Finally, if you’re navigating your dear old dog’s senior years, I invite you to sign up for my weekly updates, tips, and articles dedicated to senior dog care.
I euthanized my best friend and most beloved companion yesterday. Ollie was, I think, 17.5 years of age. I had him for 11.5 years. The last 8 months of his life I was his nursemaid. he started going down hill slowly, last February when he stopped eating. He also had bad arthritis as he was a Bassett cross. I hand fed him, changed his diapers throughout the day, carried him everywhere – he was 35 pounds so not terribly light. I bought a stroller for him over a year ago and those 45-60 minute walks twice a day were precious to us both. He loved his walks and so did I. I understand now – having spoke with a counsellor this morning – that our bond was intensified by my care for him these last months. The most difficult part in all of this – other than having an empty house and heart – is that he would have days where I thought ‘ wow, he seems really lively!’. And thens suddenly, there would be a really bad day. And then two days ago, at night, the panting began. And, like my first dog, this sign of severe pain was more than I could handle. I had devoted everything in my being to keeping him well and comfortable but I knew that if there was this kind of pain or discomfort I would have to make the worse decision of my life. To help him transition on. I am now in excruciating pain with his loss. I know it has only been one day but it is unbearable. Speaking with the counsellor helped and I have bought a journal to write in as well. Day by day, minute by minute. It is all we can do I guess. This kind of suffocating grief is truly unbearable but I know I must endure to move to a better place.
Dear Dee Dee,
My heart aches for you as you grieve the loss of your beloved Ollie. He was lucky to have you taking such good care of him and advocating for his well-being. I can only imagine how much you miss him but what a blessing you were able to give him a peaceful goodbye and spare him from unnecessary suffering. Thank you for sharing your experience and feelings with us. It brings comfort to others to know they are not alone. I hope with time the grief will begin to fade and there will be brighter days ahead. May Ollie’s memory stay with you always and be a source of joy in your life. ♥
Hi there, I am grieving my dog Shannon’s passage and it has been very difficult for me. I am living with guilt and with questioning if I should have taken more time. She was 15 and had been struggling with mobility for a long time. We would do red light therapy at night before bed, I would lay and snuggle her, and we used a help em up harness so that she could still go for occasional beach excursions and make it into the water. I loved caring for her. Her dementia was increasing in the last months and she would often pace and pant in the house, sometimes for 30 minutes to an hour in the middle of the night, unable to settle. Her back hips were going out and I needed to hold her body up while she ate. Meal times became a struggle the last month and a half with her hips giving out, and it was difficult for her to eat because one side of her face was paralyzed from vestibular. But she would eat, sometimes with the help of hand feeding. The last 2 weeks of her life she started not finishing her food or turning her nose away, even with chunks of ground beef. For a Labrador this was a big sign for me. I scheduled an in home euthanasia service and then cancelled it when she had good days. When I took her to the vet the vet encouraged me to listen to my heart, that it could be time to let her go, but also if I wasn’t ready yet we could have more time. She prescribed another pain medicine to keep her comfortable. This is the place where I keep coming back to with my guilt. At the time, intuitively it didn’t feel right to give her another pain medicine, I couldn’t see how it would improve her quality of life. I decided not to start her on the new medication and monitor her, and after several days of late night pacing and lack of interest in food, I felt she was telling me it was time. We had an amazing last day together at the beach, I held her in the river so she could paddle her feet, and I laid next to her all day at home before the vet came to help with the euthanasia. It was a beautiful passage, she was in peace, and I laid next to her looking into her eyes the whole time. Now, in retrospect, I wish that I had tried the pain medication. I keep ruminating that when the vet said we could have had more time that I really took that to heart and allowed for more time rather than doing the euthanasia. The day she left was a good day, she even ate kibble in the morning and was more stable on her feet, and I wish that I had cancelled the appointment and that she could still be here. I know that it can be good to go on a good day but I am beside myself feeling like I made the wrong decision and that I should have waited.
Dear Kendall,
My heart aches for you as you grieve the loss of your beloved Shannon. It sounds like she lived a full and happy life by your side. I can only imagine how much you miss her but please don’t let guilt weigh you down. It is ok to let go before all joy is lost and the only thing that remains is pain. I would rather say goodbye one day too early than one day too late and allow unnecessary suffering. Your girl’s last days sound absolutely magical, and I can only hope the same for myself. I am certain Shannon knew how much you loved her and that your presence was a comfort. May her memory stay with you always and continue to be a blessing in your life. ♥
We just recently put our Mickey down. A beautiful 6yr old red Boston. Nearly 7 hrs ago.
After a tussle with a porcupine 2 days ago and after surgery to remove the quills from his chest, he unfortunately fell to the effects of the quills, possibly migrating through his chest cavity. I’m only assuming due to his breathing issues and gasping for air near the end. We live in an area without the expertise of an immediate specialized surgeon or equipment to know if the quills had made it into his lungs.
It broke our hearts to have to move to ask for the doctor to euthanize but being 6hrs north of Toronto left us with no choice.
The first needle took seconds to relax him and within additional seconds hit heart had stopped. The second needle which I’m not sure was filled with was not needed.
We miss our Mickey so dearly, he has left a gaping hole in our hearts. I know it’s only a few hours after but habits that are complimented by a furry little buddy will be hard to move on from.
Dear Justin,
I am so sorry for your tragic loss of Mickey. You did the only thing you could to give your sweet boy rest and relief from suffering. I am glad his passing was peaceful and am certain your presence was a comfort. Thank you for being willing to share his story with us. May the memories of all the good times you shared continue to be a blessing in your life.
We have had four dogs. Three girls and one boy. We had all from 8 weeks old until the day they passed. The boy, Beau, (60 pounds) passed in the yard one day at a month over 14 years. All three girls had to be euthanized. Simone (our first dog) for a debilitating stroke a week shy of 14 (80 pound) that we couldn’t bare to be in the room when she passed. Daisy for being in a coma at 16 (50 pound). When Daisy was euthanized, it was a decade after Simone and we chose to be by her side as a family. Daisy didn’t flinch at all and the injection took less than 20 seconds and was so incredibly peaceful.
Then most recently, our Shihpoo, Coco, (11 pounds) at 16 ½ years. She had become deaf, partially blind and in end stage kidney disease but she kept pursuing life, my husband wasn’t ready and discussing with the vet, she told us her heart and lungs were going strong. So it was hard to talk about euthanizing since her heart and lungs were strong. So we went a few months. Although it wasn’t like a year ago- she couldn’t jump on furniture. Since she couldn’t see well, she didn’t sleep with us, after she fell off the bed. Sge constantly thought things were flying into her face causing her to flinch, especially in sunlight. She had difficulty standing on the tile. She had difficulty holding her bladder and I know she was upset that she pottied in the house. In her youth she would poop in the house when she was mad- so I would say she is a Shihpoo because when she was mad she would poo. 🙂 The times were few and far between though, usually when one of us was packing for work travel and her bag was not being packed. She went on trips with us by car and plane. Went to family reunions, families houses and always enjoyed a good burger. Despite kidney disease, she still ate her burgers and her food- often going to the empty food dish putting her head in it until we would put food in it. And she never ever forgot treat time in the morning or at night. Quite impressive since she would get lost in the yard or stare at the wall in the house. She was still our Coco and we loved her. I wanted to end her sorrow far before my husband because as she stopped doing the jumping and losing her vision the Coco I knew I was grieving. The vet’s office called in follow up to our last visit noting she needed a teeth cleaning but also in that visit the vet said her kidneys were so poor she had a good chance of not surviving anesthesia. I told them adamantly on the phone I wasn’t subjecting her to that, if she is going to pass it would be with me by her side and not them cleaning her teeth. They completely understood. When my husband finally agreed with me that it was time, we went to the vet and were expecting the same peaceful transition as Daisy. They asked if I wanted sedation, at an extra cost. I said most definitely. They gave it to her while I held her. She reacted very little to the sedative being injected, although it took her over 10 minutes to be sedated. When we were ready for the final shot, we laid her on the table and petted her. The shot went in and her entire body tensed then relaxed. It took the vet three heart beat checks for her heart to finally stop. During the time on the table, I kissed her and loved her and told her how much she was loved. But that tensing and time to pass was very difficult for my husband to process and said he never wanted to go through that again, so no more dogs for him. Myself, I’m missing her something awful. The last 8 days have been a complete change with no pitter patter on the tile, no nose nudging my leg to pick her up. I don’t know how I can process this knowing I may never get another dog. I told my husband I don’t care to go through euthanizing again but I don’t want to miss out on the years of fun and love. He replies that they require boarding when we travel, have to plan trips around their needs, etc. I know he loves animals. I just don’t know how this will play out with us needing different things to cope with the loss. I honestly hope he changes his mind because I need a fur baby.
Dear Lisa,
My heart aches for you with the recent loss of your beloved pup. When a dog’s health has declined and blood pressure and circulation are not at their best, it can take a few minutes for the euthanasia solution to completely stop the heart. Even if it takes the body a while to respond to the medication, the effects on the brain are almost instant. So, I assure you that Coco was not struggling or aware of those long minutes as you and your husband waited. Each person grieves differently and has to work their way through their own process. Just give your husband some time. I am praying for healing and comfort for you both. May Coco’s memory be a blessing in your lives, and I wish you brighter days ahead.
I just put my husky down on Sunday 5/19/24. I rescued her Dec 2017. She’s been my emotional support dog without the title. Her name was Belle & she was my purpose in life. Belle lost her tail last April due to a mass. In January she started having tiny spurts of confusion and seizures especially after eating. Luckily each time they came on I was there to hold her. We did bloodwork and nothing showed so we started her on seizure meds 3 times a day. February she went for a wellness visit & all was well, March & April seizures were down to one a month. Monday 5/13 she was her normal spunky self. Wed 5/15 she seemed out of it, we took her to the vet and they said her kidney levels were high and she was fighting an infection, they sent us home with prescription food for her and antibiotics. Thursday she was sleeping a lot and not eating but drinking excessively and urinating a lot. We brought her back and they gave her a fluid injection in her back to hydrate her and anti nausea. Friday she threw up and wouldn’t eat. We brought her back again. She was sleeping a lot more and having trouble getting up. I stayed with her overnight because her breathing was fast. Come Saturday we brought her back again. We did bloodwork and he said not only were her kidney levels high but her liver enzymes were off the charts. The vet did an X-ray and told us there was a mass pushing on her stomach which was giving her that “full feeling” and her kidneys and liver were failing her. He knew I wasn’t ready but it was written all over his face along with sending me home with appetite suppressant, anti nausea, and 4 cans of food. Saturday night she showed me her last burst of puppy energy and we went for a walk. She went to bed early and had a difficult night. Her breathing was far worse and she was laying in urine. I brought her to the emergency vet and battled myself back and forth to bring her home. She never showed me she was hurting and sadly the vet told us the kidneys and liver don’t show themselves until they’re 70-80 % dead already. She gave me the hardest time and kept looking out the door to go home. When her body fell lifeless in my arms I felt instant regret that I didn’t bring her home. That I let her down. Her physical absence is tearing me apart and knowing her ending wasn’t at all peaceful because he adrenaline was racing. Everytime we showed up to the vet abe would act “normal” until we went home. She showed no weakness but in a weeks time it killed her that fast. My body aches of regret. I didn’t want her to feel pain and I wish I had a chance to tell her more. She looked me right in the eyes. It’s not sitting well with me and my heart is aching. I miss her and would do anything to have her just one more day.
Dear Caitlyn,
My heart aches for you as you grieve the loss of your beloved girl. Belle sounds like she was a once in a lifetime kind of pup and I can only imagine how much you miss her. You made a choice to allow your own heart to break so you could spare your girl from unnecessary suffering and pain. I cannot think of a greater act of selfless love than that. I am praying your heart will start to heal as the grief slowly fades with time. Wishing you peace and comfort and may Belle’s memory always be a blessing in your life.
hello don’t know when you wrote this I’m crying because the feelings you describe are mine too. I hope your OK. mya went quickly she had alot going on vet said but a fighter she was and with that fight you want to keep standing by them. this time I didn’t. I asked vet for truth and picked euthanasia. now I sit here wondering as you have x
Dear Julie,
My heart aches for you with your loss of Mya. Try not to let all the “what ifs” cause you extra grief. You made a loving sacrifice to allow your own heart to break so your girl could find peace and rest. Praying for comfort and healing for your heart. May Mya’s memory stay with you always and continue to be a blessing in your life.
My amazing sweet sweet female German shepherd named Hunter was put down 6 days ago. She was a little over nine, and she came to me when she was two months old. She was a beautiful purebred girl, I raised her for the last nine years in the redwoods of northern California. She was active every single day, roaming the yard, jumping in the ocean, and several rivers. She loves sticks and balls and she protected my three-year-old daughter fiercely. No one could get near our house without her barking, but she was so good with people. She was a happy happy dog, we recently had moved in February around her birthday, which got lost in the stress of moving, and we came back down south to live with my parents. There she got walked every day by my daughter myself, and so on the ball to at the park. But she was not living her fun active lifestyle that she had her whole life. She woke up Sunday and was completely paralyzed, I have been really busy the week before and hadn’t spent a lot of time with her. I threw the ball to her a couple days before she passed, and she tired out faster than normal. Saturday I was out for a friends birthday all day, and when I got home late at night I just crawled into bed and didn’t even check on her. I just thought she was sleeping upstairs like she normally does. I didn’t think anything of it, she’s been limping a little bit that day but she’s lint from time to time. When she woke up on Sunday she was paralyzed and could not even go to the backyard to relieve her self. My dad, Neighbor, and I carried her to the backyard. Our dear family friend who is a retired that came over and checked her out, she said that Hunter had a spinal cord issue and she needed to go to the vet immediately. When we got to the vet I was a mess, she spent a couple hours alone in the back of the vet hospital where the kind woman who put her down did tests. The vet came out and told me Hunter was indeed paralyzed and in an incredible amount of pain. She said that the surgeries we would need to do were not only expensive but inhumane to do to such a large active dog who had lived a full life already. I was there alone for about two hours before I decided with my dad that it was best to put her down. My two best friends came right away and we cried and held hunter in the nice little room they do the euthanasia in. She had to be rolled in on a gurney and was sedated and panting heavily and seemed a little distressed. I cried and held her and called my mother who is also one of my closest friends and my mom said I should not be there for the last moments. I was such a mess I could not breathe. I told Hunter I loved her and walked out of the room and my friend stayed with her as she was put down. It seems so mean and cruel and cold I walked away for her last moments and on top of losing my child I literally feel so bad I could not be there in the last minute. But Claire said they sedated her first and she fell asleep then they did the shot, and it was quick and easy. Our family friend told me I did the kind thing for her, because there was absolutely no guarantee should ever walk again, and we would have to use a sling and express her bladder for her for the rest of her life, and even if it was just a few months, my dog would not have wanted to live like that. My biggest regret is that I wasn’t there for the last second but I know that it would’ve messed me up more than it already is messing me up. And she was with my best friend and it was really quick. They didn’t do all the tests to find out why she was paralyzed but it could have been a tumor, degenerative mylopethy, or a slipped disc and two of the three there is nothing you can do really and if it was a slipped disc it would be painful and brutal and there was no guarantee she would walk again.
I mostly just want my heart and brain to be at rest, my daughter who was absolutely in love with my dog, didn’t get to be there for the last year of income at the good thing, but really I wish that more people had been able to come. I will spread some of her ashes in the rivers in Northern California when I get them back. I’ll keep the rest. Am I a horrible person for having to leave the room? I was basically with her till her last moments, maybe just a minute or two before the end. And on the other side of the wall for the very end, weeping like no other.
Dear Anna,
My heart aches for you with your loss of Hunter. I am so sorry she endured such a tragic injury and left you with having to say goodbye. You are not a terrible person for needed to leave the room. Each person is different and what works for one may not work for another. If being present for Hunter’s final moments would have left you with horrible memories and emotions that were too strong, I would have told you it was best to step out. Not only for your sake but so your sweet girl didn’t feed off of your stress and become agitated herself. I am certain she knew how much you loved her and that your friend’s presence was a comfort. May her memory stay with you always and continue to be a blessing to you and your family. Wishing you healing and peace.
I’m so impacted by all of these stories of people and their puppies leaving this world. Our furry friends are so important. My Aussie was put to sleep today – I drove 7 hours back home to my mom and stepdad to be with her when she passed. We got her when I was seven (I’m 21 now). She just turned 14. She was really my mom’s dog, even though we never really said it. Any time my mom got up to do ANYTHING, Basil (my Aussie), would get up and follow her – wherever she went. She was so loyal. Which is why I think that even though she was in pain, because of cancer, (that we couldn’t get out because she had it already before, and was too old to get operated on again) she didn’t wanna leave my moms side. God I love(d) her so much. It hurts so bad.
Two vets came to our home and did it in our living room. We had the fire going, and Basil laid on her bed. My mom and I laid beside her after the sedative while it kicked in, whispering our love to her. My mom kept saying to her “wherever you’re going, I’m going.” I could cry just thinking about it. What a powerful sentence. It was crazy how fast the sedative kicked in, and for a moment, I think my mom and I felt relief that she was calm. She seemed at peace. The second the vet told us she was gone I couldn’t stop sobbing. How could our little Basil, who was just pacing back and forth in the kitchen, not be in her body anymore? Where did she go, if her body is still here? How the fuck does this make sense?
I know I’m being negative and I know we must continue living but I don’t know how to move forward after witnessing her death. Dogs are there for everything.
And now she can’t be here for anything.
How the hell do you process this grief? How do I get over the guilt running through my head that I should’ve walked her more, let her kiss me more often…I feel wrought with anxiety. She was just here and now shes not.
Dear Cammie,
My heart aches for you with your loss of Basil. It is obvious she was a big part of your life and dearly loved by the whole family. You are right that the grief is overwhelming and seems unfair and pointless. But I assure you the pain wouldn’t be possible without the kind of love that swallows you whole and consumes you completely. I can’t imagine living life without having experienced that kind of love. The curse is worth the blessing. You gave your sweet girl a peaceful passing and I’m sure your presence was a comfort. I wish you brighter days ahead and hope that with time the grief will begin to fade. May her memory stay with you always and continue to bring you joy. ♥
I lost my dog in 2021 to euthanasia as she had an ongoing problem that was no longer able to be managed, and just 6 weeks later I lost my partner who I found one early morning, dead to suicide after a life together of 30 years. I moved house (as encouraged by both my doctor and a therapist) and after about 6 months – with everyone’s encouragement again, I obtained a little kitten. However, each time he went to the toilet and meowed, I kept thinking that he was dying and so I had to return him after 3 weeks.
The death of both my dog and my partner so close has made it extremely difficult for me as they were my family and I cannot now separate the two events either in my mind or in my heart. A part of me would like to obtain a part but the other half screams a resounding NO.
It is a difficult feeling to have to contend with. Both deaths have really shattered my life in a lot of ways especially in my confidence and in terms of no longer being able to trust the world as I once knew it. A huge part of this trust relates to obtaining a pet that I can love but yet I feel that I could not go through another death. Deep down I fear that I will never get over losing my desire for another pet (another little dog) but likewise losing the fear of losing that pet.
Logically, I know that everything dies and that loss is a part of life, but Grief is about emotions, not logic. People deliver up their logical platitudes and suggestions, but very few really listen to what I feel and so I more often than not just keep these feelings and thoughts to myself.
At this stage, I see a therapist for Complicated Grief and PTSD, but I cannot share any issues surrounding the death of my dog (or maybe even do not want to). Photos of her and my partner are kept in an album in my bedroom wardrobe for to look upon them just adds to my sadness.
Dear Lawrence,
Your words have touched my heart, and I am truly sorry for all the loss you have endured. I can only imagine how difficult it is to push through each new day with this heavy burden of grief you carry. I completely understand why you are hesitant to bring another pup into your home. That is a very big step and there is no time limit on when (or if) this should be done. If you want to enjoy the company of a dog but are not emotionally ready for a lifetime commitment, there are options you can explore. My local shelter has people volunteer to take dogs walking/hiking and just allow them to get out of the shelter for the day/afternoon. You may find that offering joy for a day to a lonely pup would also bring a bit of happiness to your heart. Don’t push yourself to do anything that is more than what your heart can take, especially just because your grieving process isn’t matching others’ expectations. I know you mentioned you are seeing a therapist, but do you have a good support system in place? If not, I would encourage you to look into a bereavement support group (either online or in person). No one should have to navigate this emotional path alone. Thank you for being willing to reach out and share your story. We are here for you. ♥ Praying for strength and comfort. Bless you.
This Monday we had to make a tough decision we had to put our dog down he was 14 years old 😪. It happened so fast and I never seen him in that condition 💔. He started falling, bumping his head everywhere and the crying it was painful to hear he couldn’t even stand up. we knew something was wrong we rushed him to the hospital and they told us there was nothing they can do and it’s best to put him to sleep. My heart breaks knowing that he is gone especially for my parents my dad is taking it hard he cries , there was a routine when my dog was alive he would go do but now he realizes he isn’t there hurts him. it really sucks this happened and we are going to miss him. today I had to call to reschedule an appointment because I’m mentally not there to go anywhere i started crying i felt embarrassed. My uncle being in the hospital the same day we had to put our dog down its so much going on this week.
Dear Stephanie,
My heart goes out to you with the recent loss of your senior pup. I can only imagine how much you miss him but know you did the only thing you could to offer him peace and freedom from suffering. I hope with time your grief will fade and your heart will begin to heal. May the memories of all the good times you shared be a source of comfort and joy. Bless you and your family. ♥
I’m definitely struggling with having to make the decision to euthanize our sweet boy, Maverik, a 7 year old golden retriever. One week ago he was his usual fun happy go lucky dog and today we are grieving him. Last Sunday we noticed a little difference in his breathing but no other symptoms. Still playing eating going out, than he became a little lethargic so I took him into the vet. The vet said his lungs sound clear and ruled out heartworm and sent us home with an antibiotic and decongestant with the diagnosis of an upper respiratory infection. Within 2 days he took a drastic decline and his breathing became heavy and I rushed him to the emergency vet on Saturday night. They did chest X-rays and immediately put him on oxygen treatment. He’s lungs were filled from fungal pneumonia and kept overnight. The next morning I called for an update and they said he declined and will need to be transported to another hospital with ventilator and his chance of survival was very low and he may not even make the transfer or get to the point of the long road of recovery. I feel like my heart has been ripped out. Our poor baby laid lifeless in his oxygen box with no improvement and every breath was hard for him. After telling our kids 20 & 22 we need to make a decision and the vets at both clinics agree it’s best to put him out of his suffering.
I’m consumed with guilt, what if I got him to another vet a day sooner? Could he recover with more oxygen treatment? So many what ifs… in the end we let him go and it has been the worst 3 days of my life.
Our family dog, our youngest member of the family that we all picked out together is gone at only 7. I’m heartbroken and devastated and can’t help but feel guilty.
Dear Jill,
My heart aches for you with your loss of Maverik. I can only imagine how much you miss him but am certain he knew how much he was loved. You made a selfless choice to allow your own heart to break so your sweet boy wouldn’t have to suffer needlessly. There is no greater gift we can offer a beloved pup than a peaceful goodbye. I hope with time your heart will begin to heal. May Maverik’s memory stay with you and always be a blessing in your life. Wishing you and your family brighter days ahead as you continue life’s journey. ♥
please help me, I am absolutely devastated and cant move on. On 30th November 2023, I euthanised my 2 furbabies. Sally and Ty were chihuahua crosses, they were 15 yo bonded brother and sister. on 30th September we rushed Ty to vet with difficulty breathing and he was diagnosed with an enlarged heart and was in congestive heart failure. He pulled through and was put on pimoden and furosimide only a low dose, we were told he had 6 to 12mths. in October Sally had blood tests done and the vet said all her kidney/liver test results were really bad but never offered any options to us like meds etc so we thought she was okay. her only symptoms were increased thirst and urination. Ty had a few ups and downs and I had been talking to a lovely vet that did home euthanasia and we had decided they would both go together given thier age, health and bonding. The morning of the 30th Ty was struggling to breath again, not as bad as the 1st time but we took him to the vet and she gave him another fluid injection and left the decision up to us. I was so upset I couldn’t decide so my Husband made the decision. I contacted the lady and she wasn’t available and the vet said she could come to our house and do them and we were so relieved as we didn’t want to do it at the vet because they hated it there. when the vet came to the house an hour later Sally was so defensive barking and trying to protect us and Ty. when the vet gave her the sedative in her leg she just screamed and screamed and held her leg up, the vet then did Ty and he was just yelping and yelping. It absolutely broke our hearts that we did that to them in thier own home, the place they always felt safe. The sedative knocked Sally out in under 5 mins. she was completely unconscious with her tongue hanging out of her mouth, I never had a chance to talk to her and soothe her. I feel so guilty for doing that to them when they trusted me. I wish I had of said no, I want to try more meds for Ty 1st. They still had good quality of life, they were eating well even Ty that morning still had his breakfast and was walking around outside enjoying the morning even though he was struggling to breathe. they both had good hearing, eyesight and teeth. coats were thick and glossy.. I will never forgive myself, I think I did it way to soon and I will never forgive myself for bringing them pain in their own home where they always felt secure. i have there medical notes and sometimes think of seeing another vet to just reassure me, i did the right thing. My marriage is now suffering as I cannot handle the greif and I can feel myself distancing myself from my Husband. I will never get over what I did to my poor little babies that trusted me.
Dear Joanne,
My heart aches for you as you grieve the losses of your beloved pups. I am sorry the euthanasia process was not what you expected and has left you with negative feelings surrounding those last moments with your senior dogs. You did what you thought was best and gave your dogs peace and rest the only way you could. If your girl was experiencing end stage liver and kidney failure and your boy was struggling to breathe, then I do think you made the most loving decision for them. I hope with time the grief will fade and you can begin to find some happiness in your days. Please don’t try to walk this path alone. Reach out for help to a friend or even to a therapist or counselor. It is ok to get support from others and completely normal to need a shoulder to lean on when working your way through such strong emotions. Here is a link to the Humane Society’s website that contains several links to pet bereavement support groups: https://www.humanesociety.org/resources/how-cope-death-your-pet
May Sally and Ty’s memories stay with you always and be a source of comfort as you continue life’s journey. Praying for healing for your heart and your marriage. ♥
My gorgeous 4 year old bulldog as just been put to sleep, I took him to emergency vets he had been vomiting few days before but stopped and back to his usual cheeky self! Then he started again, drinking a lot and struggling to pee this came on so suddenly I got him in emergency vets Sunday, they said he had about 12 kidney stones, they put him under anaesthetic tried to cathriter etc and I was called to say it was kindest to put him to sleep whilst under as there was nothing they could do! I feel so guilty how did I not know he had kidney stones, he was only 4! I feel horrible I didn’t even get to say bye! I loved him like a kid, my other boy shandy staffy passed age 14 in his sleep next to me, I still miss him but Reggie was only 4 I feel like it’s my fault, I can’t eat or sleep! Feel like the worst person! How did I not know he had kidney stones till it was too late! Sounds dramatic but don’t think I can forgive myself!
Dear Stacey,
My heart aches for you with the tragic loss of your beloved Reggie. You didn’t do anything wrong and there were probably no early warning signs to miss. I know you would have done anything to give your boy more time, but you made the most loving choice to free him from his suffering. I hope you can allow yourself some grace and leave behind the unnecessary burden of guilt you are carrying. May Reggie’s memory be with you always and bring your heart happiness and joy. Bless you. ♥
It has been a month since I lost my baby boy to Dementia. My pup was 16, I am so tortured if I did the right thing for him. I am haunted that if I had just taken him to the Vet one last time to be sure, I would not be feeling like I do, ridden with guilt that the decision, made by my husband was the wrong one and I was the one who acted on it, because even though he made the decision, I had to take my baby boy and be the one to hold him while he took his last breath. and my husband could not. Maxx wore a diaper, he had lost his potty training ability and would potty in the house after going out, I cleaned it up, I did that with no problem, he was also deaf, it took him a long time to eat, and he would cock his head like it was hard for him to chew at times, at 16 his dental health was not good. We had to medicate him with xanax to help with the constant pacing. When he went out, he would have to be helped out of the door, he would fall while running in the grass, The day our beloved pup passed, he was running in the yard, back and forth, without purpose, he was doing that when we took him out just run back and forth. He would not potty, maybe pee, but then when we brought him back in he would poop in the house and then walk through it. He wore a diaper because he peed on the floor. I did not mind, and cleaned up the mess no matter what. Our dog that day experienced some pain in his hip, I don’t know why, maybe while running that morning, but my husband made the decision to let him go. I looked for Vets that would come to the house, but it was the day before New Years Eve and everyone was on holiday. I finally got hold of a doctor who told me to give him a Tramadol for pain, and our dog laid down and slept. When he got up he tried to walk over to his food bowl and sprawled on all fours in front of it. I picked him up and took him to the ER clinic. As they took my baby boy to the back to put in the cath, he looked at me with those eyes and it haunts me, what was he saying to me, I can’t stop seeing his face constantly, feeling his body in my arms, so warm, trusting me. I wish I had run out of the ER clinic and waited until I saw our vet one last time and was sure I was doing the right thing. I feel like I did not have the time to make sure, I was rushed, I did not make sure it was time. It was not my decision, it was my husbands, but when it came to it, I was the one who had to take our dog, he could not. I am angry, hurt, guilty, in so much pain, I cry all the time, I can’t get this out of my mind, it’s all I think about and I just can’t get past this horrible guilt that I should have waited. a few day’s. With the dementia, we had decided to give it a month to see if we could see a response to the medication we were trying. Selgline, and some weight gain medication, We did not keep that promise to ourselves. Maxx had gone from 10 lbs to 8 He had been to the Vet a few weeks prior because he had a panic while we were away and clawed at the door and tore his nails and bled all over the house. The vet said his hind was weak, and he had lost weight, but otherwise, he was healthy. Maxx was deaf, for the past 6 months. It took him hours to eat, he would take a bite, and drop it all over away from his bowl, then scatter more and eventually eat it, sometimes he would take his vitamin in his mouth and hold it, not knowing what to do with it, so I know he was so confused, but was confusion a reason to euthanize him? NO. I don’t know how to get over this, I am making myself sick, I know, but don’t know how to stop this pain. and guilt. Why didn’t I wait to make sure, would it have made a difference? I will never know. all I know right now is I can’t stop seeing his face looking back at me. I think I am having an abnormal response to this, can you give me some insight? We are going to get a new dog to try to fill this hole, our house is too quiet, we need a dog to love, I hope this helps us.
Dear MD,
My heart aches for you with your recent loss of Maxx. Saying goodbye to a beloved dog is always hard but I do think you made the right choice. It is ok to let go while there is still some joy left, before all happiness is lost and the only thing that remains is pain and struggling. We as humans tend to look to the future and anticipate the good that could come. Dogs are not this way. They live only for today. So, if all today brings is anxiety, confusion, restlessness, fear, and pain, then I do not think that is the quality of life they deserve. The tragic truth of dementia is all the disease is mental and physically they do seem to be fairly healthy. But I am convinced that mental disease causes just as much suffering (if not more) than physical disease. I always think it is better to say goodbye one day too early rather than one day too late and allow unnecessary suffering. I cannot think of a more selfless act of love than to allow your own heart to break so Maxx could find peace and rest. I hope with time you will allow yourself some grace and your heart will begin to heal. May Maxx’s memory be with you always and remain a blessing in your life. ♥
My 8.5 yr old boxer buddy died 6 days ago and I too am devastated. I had taken him to the vet as he was breathing rapidly, panting, swollen, and had a big mass on his head that we were trying to resolve w prednisone at high doses. My guilt sits w the prednisone and whether it was helping or hurting, but it was so much more and probably cancer.. The vet warned that if I took him home he might well pass that night, and he recommended taking him to the ER. We did that. It was the worst moment of the day as he too stared at me as they gurney’d him to the back and I didn’t even say goodbye. When they handed me an estimate with a $10k down payment for a night of testing (not fixing because that would come after extensive testing and another estimate), I knew he wouldn’t live through a scary night of prodding. I wanted him back and immediately shut down the fast moving ER train. They get you bc you are panicking and grieving. It was sickening. We got him back after 20 minutes and an attempt to wrangle &800 from us for office visit and prep for a catheter that wasn’t approved yet bc the estimate wasn’t approved, and we got out as fast as we could. . I slept next to my dog on the floor that night, telling him how loved he was by the family and my friends and saying the Lord’s Prayer over and over to him. . I fell asleep and when I woke up in the morning he had passed away. I hadn’t heard anything. I sat with him and petted him for 5 hours until my son came to help me, and we buried him in a beautiful sunny spot in the yard he loves. It’s been 6 days and I am a wreck. Your story helped me bc I know I need another baby to complete my home which now feels cold and quiet, and that’s ok. Joaquin was my 4th dog and my best buddy. I will miss him forever. Know there is no perfect death of our doggo’s, and that they know for sure how loved they have been and how much love they have given.
Dear Penny,
I am so sorry for your loss of Joaquin. What a blessing he was at home and passed peacefully next to you as he slept. I can only imagine how much you miss him and understand wanting to bring another pup into your home for love and comfort. Wishing you brighter days ahead and praying for healing for your heart. ♥
We rescued an abused, anxiety, dog from a dog fighting ring. It took three years for him to become a dog! He came with many emotional and health problems like heart worm and hook worm. After he was cleared of heart worm, he had his spleen removed due to a massive tumor in September. He seemed to be doing well. Except lately he seemed to have slowed down (he was 9 years old). He peed in the house a few days ago and didn’t seem to know it. He yell when my husband moved him even though it was gently. His walks he started to slow down. He was a tough resilient dog. Yesterday he collapsed and when I took him to emergency his blood was low and severely anemic. I was in total shock as the day before he was so active. The cost was over $5,000 just to hospitalize him and blood transfusions until they could figure out what was happening.. They suspected cancer or kidneys or possibly infections. unfortunately I could not afford it as I was still paying for his last surgery and his behavioral meds and such were depleting my savings. I made the choice to euthanize which was so difficult. He was struggling to walk and very weak and even if we did blood transfusions not guaranteed it wouldn’t happen again. I suspect he had cancer. I know gave him the best three years and did everything to help him with his issues. He had behavioral vet and training. Special food ( the dog fight people had removed his teeth) He was such a good dog. I feel awful and guilty. I have other dogs but this one was special.
Dear Lisa,
My heart goes out to you with the recent loss of your beloved pup. He sounds like a once in a lifetime kind of guy and he was so lucky to have found you when he did. I know it was hard to choose to say goodbye, but I am certain it was the most loving option. Thank you for giving him a second chance at life and offering him the happiness he deserved. May his memory stay with you always and be a blessing in your life. ♥
I had to euthanize our 15 year old pug a few days ago. She was the sweetest thing to me. She would aways be so excited when I would walk in the door, she traveled with us, slept with us, cuddled on the couch. 3 years ago we had our first child and our poor pug, Cricket, took a backseat. i
I did my best to spend as much time with her and make her feel loved but it never was like it used to be. Within the past year or so she began to show some signs of dementia. She would seem lost, had some accidents in the house etc. Her hind quarters began to deteriorate and she began having bowel accidents. Late Sept we had our second child. Poor cricket really took the backseat when she needed me the most. I still cared for her the best I could. I had a full body harness to help her walk outside and I held her up the eat. She wore diapers and still had accidents. I took leave from work to help out with the kids and Cricket and I watched her continue to deteriorate. She would pant more in bed, she was pretty much in her bed because she could barely use her hind legs, she would whimper and cry unless I was right there with her. I got so aggravated at times because of all the stress with a post partum wife, a newborn, a 3 year old and Cricket. We put her to sleep on the 16th of Sept at home. I have such gut wrenching guilt about it. I wish I could have made her last few days, weeks, months better. I would actually think how much easier things will be without having to care for her. I would take her out in the middle of the night so she could go potty and eat and maybe get some more sleep. I hated it, but now I miss it so much. I still wake and look for her at the foot of the bed and she’s not there. I still tell her I’ll be right with her after I finish with kids and I’ll take her out. She would get so anxious about the vet and I always told her it would be OK, but this last time I think she knew that it was the end. I laid with her on the floor and had my hand on her through the process, but now I wish I held her. I miss her so much, I look for her in her spots, I still keep my legs curled in bed so as not to kick her in my sleep. I feel drawn to the spot in the living room where she breathed last. I had a major anxiety attack todaythinking about what I did. How could I have ended her life, she was so in love with me and I was the only one who cared for her at the end. I know her quality of life was not great and was not dignified being bed ridden and wearing diapers, being held to eat, but she still loved me and wanted me to save her up to the end. The guilt is tearing me up but I’m trying to stay as strong as I can for my family. I miss her so much.
Hi Doug,
My heart breaks for you on the loss of Cricket and for all the guilt and pain you are feeling. It is clear from your post that you loved her deeply and took wonderful care of her. Caring for a dog with mobility issues, dementia, and incontinence is challenging on its own, and then adding in two young kids and all the changes that parenthood brings would make it even more difficult. You are not alone in feeling the way you did, and still do. Caregiver fatigue is common in dog parents who are caring for an aging or sick dog (so much so that I’m about to write an article on it). You did not fail her in any way, or give up on her. Instead, you cared for her to the best of your abilities, and then you made the merciful decision to set her free from her frail body and failing mind. It was the right thing to do, and the most loving choice you could make.
I hope that in time the guilt and sorrow you are facing will decrease and you will be able to see what a wonderful life Cricket had with you and how lucky she was to have been loved by you. ❤️
Hi Doug. I read your words, and they resonated with me so much. I’m sorry you’re feeling the way that you’re feeling, but I can assure you that I understand. I had to say my last goodbye to my senior dog Lucy less than one week ago. Everything that you’ve described about Cricket is almost identical to the things that I am feeling and have experienced. I do not yet have children, however, I am expecting my first child in about 12 weeks. It has been such a challenge since I became pregnant and I was the sole provider for her and my future daughter. Lucy struggled with dementia, as well as arthritis and varying other health issues, related to her ability to eat, and do basic things around the house and on her own accord. Many times when I went to go out to walk my younger dog, Lucy would be fast asleep, and other times she would randomly pop up out of bed and try to follow us to the door to come along. Still breaks my heart to see her standing there and confused as to why she couldn’t go, but she really couldn’t walk that far, maybe not more than half a block. She often got lost and disoriented in the yard, standing there as though she didn’t understand why she was outside. It broke my heart.
Please know that you’re not alone. I’ve cried and cried and beat myself up over my lack of patience, and the stress I felt and frustration over the past several months. I wish I could’ve done better to care for her, and to have the ability to have more easily taken her with me everywhere. The sad truth is that she even became fearful in the car for the last several months before her passing. A dog that once loved to go for rides, now panted repeatedly, and appeared to be extremely anxious, even just to drive across town.
I appreciate you sharing your story. It makes me feel better to know that I’m not the only one who lives with regrets about all of this. I hope it brings you some sense of comfort too. I believe that time is the healer of many things and I believe that’s what it will take for both of us. I also tend to believe that there is a very special place for animals to go after they’ve physically gone from this earth. Thinking of you and sending love and light.
Dear Cassaundra,
My heart goes out to you with your recent loss of Lucy. Thank you for being willing to offer sympathy and comfort to others while you work through your own grief and heartache. May your sweet girl’s memory be a source of joy in your life and stay with you always. Wishing you peace and happier days ahead as you continue life’s journey. Congratulations on the impending arrival of your new baby. Bless you both. ♥
When I read your story, it was like you were telling “my” story. Exactly. Yesterday, 12/27 23, I had my sweet sweet miniature schnauzer down. Her name was Tessa, and she was 15.5 yo. I had her since she was 8 weeks old. I know it’s still early, but my heart is broken. Sounds absolutely crazy, but all I want is to hold her. I want her back. You see, I’m a divorced senior, and it was just me and her. She was my everything. I’m actually ashamed for people to see how much I am grieving. I can’t eat, can’t sleep, I smell her bed, her pillows, her blankets… trying to just smell her. I feel lost, and I don’t know what to do.
Dear Sabrina,
My heart aches for you as you grieve the loss of your beloved Tessa. I can only imagine how much you miss her. I hope with time your heart will begin to heal and you can focus on the wonderful life you shared. Here is a link to another article that will help with ideas on how to honor the legacy your sweet girl left behind: Dog Memorial Ideas: 10 Ways to Honor Your Dog’s Legacy
May her memory stay with you always and be a blessing to you. ♥
I understand I lost my fur boy a month ago,I cry I hVe his blanket I sleep with everynight..I had him put down,he couldn’t eat drink,I had to use a syringe and he couldn’t move no legs at all.i turned him ,he pee on himself I cleaned him .put pads under him.i even given hi. enemas.i feel after his second seizure this one really hurt hi.
in a week I took him to vet 5 times,she said I needed to put him down..
at the time I said I got to try to help him.finally I did and regret it like ever! I cry much! maybe he would hD gotten better.he trusted me.im broken badly
Dear Nancy,
I am so sorry for the loss of your beloved pup. You made the loving choice to give him peace and rest the only way you could. I can only imagine how much you miss him but hope you will find comfort in knowing that he lived a happy life with you. Praying for your comfort and healing. Bless you. ♥
I just put my 13 year old yorkie down 2 days ago. I, too, feel such horrible guilt about the last year or two of her life. I got her in college, she was my best girl through everything… school, moving, starting my career, getting married, and all four of my kids. We got a Frenchie a year and a half ago and Roxy was not a fan. Finally the French started leaving her alone but not a before a situation where our French bulldozed her and hurt her. Then, I had my last child 7 months ago. Roxy started going down really about a year ago and I knew it but I was just so busy with my children and my work that I couldn’t devote the time to her that she deserved. I feel like such a jerk. She followed me everywhere, slept with me every night, and was on my lap every time I sat down. I just wish I had spent more time loving on her the last year of her life. Holding her and looking her in her eyes in the euthanasia room it just felt like too little too late. It’s just so hard when they’ve been such a constant in your life for so many years.
Dear Adrienne,
My heart aches for you with your loss of Roxy. It is easy to get caught up in all the “what ifs” but I am certain your girl lived a great life and knew how much you loved her. I hope with time your grief will fade and you can take comfort in knowing she was happy by your side. May her memory always be a blessing in your life. Wishing you all the best as you and your family continue life’s journey.
We had to euthanize out 12.5 year old Golden Retriever, named Leo this past Wednesday. I’m eating myself alive with guilt wondering if I did the right thing so sudden. I think what makes it even worse is he was still wagging his tail & so happy to see us before he was euthanized. He got a good bill of health in Feb of this year. Just arthritis in his hind end & they mentioned possible Lar Par due to a raspy bark ( but couldn’t diagnose without official tests). I never got a chance to do that due to 2 deaths in the family then my dad sick/hospitalized in July & August. I dropped him off Wednesday at 10:30am for the vet to see what might have been going on. In the past 2 weeks he was having episodes of coughing, regurgitating food/water, & alot more hind end weakness. The vet called me 5hrs later, to say I had one sick pup ☹️ She said Leo had megaesophagus, myasthenia gravis & a bad case of aspiration pneumonia. Also he lost weight since his visit in Feb. I knew he was getting older & was sick but I never realized it was that bad. It seemed to happen so fast. She recommended Leo going to the ER vet to stay overnight to continue his antibiotics, but mentioned even if he made it out of the pneumonia, his prognosis still wasn’t good & said euthanasia was also an option. During the month of August I could see his quality of life diminish but he still had good days so I held on to hope during those days selfishly. We made the decision to euthanize him. We didn’t want to see him suffer & was afraid if he did get pneumonia again it could be worse. Plus unfortunately financial wise it would be hard. We brought his bed into the vets office with his favorite toy-Lamb chop. The vet techs gave him all kinds of goodies to eat. Our 3 kids came to say goodbye while my husband & I stayed with him. I laid alongside of him holding his head against mine telling him how much I loved him & would see him on the other side one day. When the vet administered the propofol he let out a little sigh & relaxed. His head fell into my arms. She then administered the next dose to put him to sleep & I lost it. He went so quick. My boy was by my side through everything since he was 10 weeks old. He helped me through my depression & was by my side during my surgeries. After all of it, I just feel like I should have fought more for him to get better, specially since he was still wagging that tail when he seen us all😭
Dear Ashley,
My heart aches for you with your loss of Leo. I can only imagine how much you miss him and understand how emotional it is to choose to say goodbye to a beloved pup. You did the only thing you could to spare him from unnecessary suffering. Offering him peace and rest was the ultimate act of selfless love. I hope with time the grief will fade and you will take comfort in knowing he lived a full and happy life. May his memory stay with you always and continue to be a blessing to you and your family.
I am so glad I read this article. I too am struggling with experiencing two different euthanasia visits with my dogs. One was super calm was due to an urgent issue with protopsed eye from glaucoma. She was hardly anxious. Was a quick sedation and transitioning with euthanasia..
Then Dutches last Thursday. I kept telling myself that if she was anxious I couldn’t do it. She had trazodone an hour prior to the appointment. The car ride was better than usual. She shook some but wasn’t frantic. I fed her small treats but when we reached the vets she paced and panted had defecated multiple times. Kept running into the walls and chairs. CCD had advanced so much that her anxiety was extreme regardless of medicine if it was anything outside of her current routine. Her quality of life was poor. Would not get better only worse so I decided to let this be the final day. The vet gave an IM injection to sedate her first. She yelped jerked and tried biting. This jarred me so much emotionally as well. I felt her heart beat slow down her body relaxed and she went to sleep. I had time with her. To hold pet and comfort her before her final transition as I have not been able to do in so long because of her confusion and anxiety. They took and placed catheter and brought her back. When I was ready they delivered the final injection and she took two more breaths and stopped. It was a peaceful transition. I do struggle with her having so much anxiety and if I should had done it at home vs in office. I worried that I would delay setting up the in home service and that would just be prolonging her suffering too. I just wished she didn’t have so much anxiety before hand but I am thankful the vet offered so many options that I was able to sedate her until I was “ready” to have the final injection.
She may had been calmer at home and I feel a type of guilt if I should have chose that route. Regardless of being at home or at vet she would have cried out with injection or IV catheter. At the end of the day. I gave her peace before she left this world. And is no longer confused, scared , or living in fear. Reading this has helped me.
Dear Jennifer,
I hope you will see my reply to the other comment you left on the dementia article. While it is normal to ponder all the “what ifs”, please don’t carry around the unnecessary burden of guilt. You did right by your girl, and I am certain your presence was a comfort during her final moments. Praying for healing for your heart and comfort for your soul. Wishing you many happy days ahead as you continue life’s journey.
same thing happened to my fur boy.he yelp out and tried biting.i feel so bsd,I should had run out with hi. and Should had said no.i cry so much over this.
I signed the for to have our precious little Buddy euthanized July 2. He had not eaten for 3 or 4 days and cried every night keeping us awake trying to console him. Just touching him seemed to cause him pain. We had taken him to the Vet on Sun before and couldn’t get in. She offered to have a tech look at him but I said I’d bring him back the next morning which we did but by then he was unresponsive. She did a blood test to confirm he was in kidney failure as she expected then kept him through the day to hydrate him by IV but when we came to pick him up we were told he was still and had been unresponsive the entire day. She had found he was in kidney failure and had an infection and had given him an antibiotic shot plus a shot for nausea and other medications but said it was only a bandaid that he would probably not rally and would have an emergency on the 4th when they would not be available and he’d have to be taken to an emergency clinic where he wasn’t known.or die t home. I signed to have him put down knowing I had promised him I would never do that and asked him if he wanted to go home to give me a sign. He mustered the strength to lift him little paw and put it on my arm…was that my sign…maybe but I continued with the procedure that only took a couple of minutes at most. I cannot get the sight of his little body on that cold table and for two days now have not been able to stop crying and wishing I had said NO then took him in my arms and ran with him. My head knows the condition he was in plus for some time he hadn’t been able to walk without falling, was blind and was getting anxious my heart feels like I murdered him. My eyes see him everywhere at home and I break down sobbing most of the day.
Without a doubt this experience has been the most horrible experience in my life.
Dear Beverly,
I just found this comment you submitted along with the other one on the kidney failure article from 7/26. I also replied to the comment you left on 7/4. I am so sorry for the delay in responding and getting all these comments approved. I am still praying for you and want you to know that you are not alone. I am glad you have found some comfort among this community of people who love their senior dogs just like you cared for your Buddy. Wishing you peace and comfort. Bless you. ♥
My husband and I put our sweet girl, Bella (Maltese dog), to rest on 7/4/23. We were told she had pancreatitis on Wed, 6/28/23, and she received subcutaneous fluids & meds were sent home with us. We went the next couple days providing her care from home, but she refused to eat. On Saturday, July 1, we took her back to the emergency vet & she was hospitalized. On Monday morning, 7/3, the doctor called and said she felt Bella would be ready to go home at around 2pm that day. I called at 2 so excited and the doctor at that time let me know she felt Bella was getting worse. We went to visit her for the 2nd night and could see the decline for ourselves after just 1 day. It was devastating! When we got to the vet on Saturday she was her perky little self, so it was truly hard to see her decline so quickly. The doctor advised it would be a good idea to do an abdominal ultrasound b/c it was not your typical case of pancreatitis. Bella was only lethargic and not eating (no diarrhea, vomiting, etc.). At 2am on Tuesday, July 4, I got the call that there was a huge mass on Bella’s liver with several nodules. We immediately went to the vet and put her to sleep after being given the option for palliative care or euthanizing. I could not fathom the thought of making her suffer just to have more time with her. Bella was euthanized right in my arms whilst I was letting her know how much I loved her. I can’t help but feel guilty for having her be hospitalized for almost 3 days and then letting her go. I have to remind myself, however, that we did what we thought was best for her. We sure have the most precious memories & will remember her always! Thank you for sharing these stories as it provides great comfort ❤️
Dear Catherine,
My heart aches for you with your recent loss of Bella. It is clear from your words that she was dearly loved, and I am certain she knew. I have no doubt that your presence was a comfort during her final moments. Thank you for being willing to share her story with us. Just as you mentioned, it brings comfort to others to know they are not alone. Bella will never be forgotten and may her memory live on as a blessing in your life.
Two days ago, my precious little Bailey declined overnight with not being able to breathe., He was 14. The alternative to euthanasia was to put him in an intensive care pet hospital on a respirator. She said even then he probably would not survive. We were always together. The thought of him being alone there and such a poor prognosis., we chose euthanasia. Thank God it was very peaceful and he just fell asleep in my arms. I love and miss him so! I was so devastated with grief and guilt for choosing to put him to sleep that I prayed and asked God to please send my comfort from the Holy Spirit. I lay down with my computer and opened to your page. You can’t imagine the comfort and help it was to me. I am of course still grieving and missing my sweet Bailey, but I feel as if an enormous guilt has lifted and eased. Thank you to you and all the people who shared their experiences. Thank you for the blessing from God that you have been! Cindy
Dear Cindy,
My heart goes out to you with your recent loss of Bailey. I can only imagine how much you miss him but am thankful you were able to be with him during his last moments. I am certain he knew how much he was loved and that your presence was a comfort. You have no idea what it means to me knowing this page could offer you some peace. Thank you for sharing your experience. I pray with time your heart will heal. May Bailey’s memory be with you always and bring you joy. ♥
I put my beloved Scottie down 6 days ago.I am having tremendous guilt! He had plasma cell cancer and one tumor was on his jaw. He recently lost 4 teeth because the tumor was de-bulked and it was the only thing holding the teeth in. He did okay with that, but, as expected the tumor quickly grew back. On the 13th of February he wasn’t interested in eating and was generally quiet. I called the vet and made an appointment for euthanasia for later in the day. I got him to the appointment and his demeanor perked up. He was holding his tail high, ears were perked up, looking out the window at the vets office. He acted just like himself. I went through with the euthanasia but I am having serious guilt! I really wish I wouldn’t have rushed the decision. The vet kept telling me it was adrenaline on his part but I really have my doubts. I can’t take that day back but, I wish I would have waited a day!
I’m sorry the 6th of February was the day of his euthanasia.
Dear Angie,
I understand your grief over losing your Scottie, but please don’t carry this guilt around with you. Your vet was absolutely correct that the improvement you saw in the clinic that day was all related to an adrenaline surge. I see this all the time with my own patients. You made the right choice to give your sweet boy peace and rest. I am glad you didn’t take him back home just to see him decline and experience unnecessary suffering overnight. You made the most loving decision to allow your own heart to break so your little guy could be free from his struggles. I am sure he knew how much he was loved, and your presence was a comfort in his last moments. May his memory be a blessing in your life. Praying for strength and healing of your heart.
I am so happy to have come across your Quality of Life Assessment bc it is more comprehensive than others I have seen. I just had to put my little guy down 3 days ago, and I have tremendous guilt about whether the timing was right. This dog was everything to me and I did all I could to keep him going despite his being diabetic, he lost his eyes 2 years ago as a result, a year ago he went deaf – maybe bc he is 14, he had some overgrown gum tissue but still so cute and JUST diagnosed with stage 4 kidney failure. He stopped eating for 5 days and then all of the sudden was in tremendous pain. At 4am I found an emergency hospital open thinking they would give him some type of treatment, but the vet said he is suffering.
Now I feel so guilty that maybe there was something his regular vet could have done to save him. Had I just waited 4 more hours or insisted the hospital treat him. I wasn’t thinking. I thought he was dying and I was doing the right thing.
I am so scared I made a mistake. It is consuming my thoughts.
My little Bernie was so resilient- maybe ut wasn’t his time?
Dear Cheryl,
My heart aches for you and your recent loss of Bernie. It is normal to grieve and ponder the “what ifs” especially after such a sudden and unexpected loss. Take comfort in knowing there is no way the emergency hospital would have recommended euthanasia if they thought they could save your sweet boy. By making the loving decision to say goodbye, you were sparing him from unnecessary pain and suffering while waiting to hear similar news from your regular vet. I can only imagine how greatly you must miss Bernie, but I am certain he knew how much he was loved. Please give yourself some grace and don’t carry around the burden of guilt over this necessary decision you had to make. I hope with time your heart will heal. May Bernie’s memory be a blessing in your life.
Our beautiful girl Jennie passed yesterday at 1.5 y/o. She was a border collie golden retriever mix, I got her from the shelter when I was 25 … and I just turned 40. Her zest for life and saucy, sweet personality were such a privilege to have in our lives. Her loss has left my heart broken. Her last year was difficult, with kidney failure progressing, pneumonia, incontinence and a vestibular episode last April, We thought we would lose her then, but after a few days, even though she couldn’t walk straight, she did expect to go outside to survey her kingdom and keep up on the neighbourhood news. She made a 99% recovery, although some parts of her personality changed, and we had the gift of bonus time together these past few months, Although her kidney values were declining recently, with regular fluids and some other medications she was eating well and still trying for a zoom donut in the yard each night after her walk. Just over a week ago, she had another vestibular episode, At first we thought and hoped and prayed that she would be able to recover again, but her kidneys weren’t able to support her. In spite of nausea and other medications, she stopped eating and was not able to muster the energy to even stand up. Her last night with us she was shivering and shaking in her bed, and we received the advice that it was best to let her go. We were lucky to be able to afford euthanasia at our home, and it was such a blessing to lie with her and have no stress in her last crossing, she did hate the vet office. We had a wonderful palliative vet to complete the process and appreciated her support so much,
We know it was the right thing, but all of this doesn’t change the hole in our hearts and in our lives. The hardest part is looking to the empty places where her little face still looks up at me, peeking around the corner to see what fun times or special treats she can rustle up. I also feel the time we spent, and the time we didn’t spend, together. COVID was a blessing, I now work from home, and our bond went to a different level spending all of our days together the last couple years. Before that, when she was younger, I worked a lot. She was independent, not anxious, and had great care from family during the days, but I know looking back now that I should have found more minutes for us together. I know this guilt is not productive, and we gave her all that we could. But there is just never enough time, and always more we could have done with it together. Missing my sweet girl so much. Reading these tributes is helping me not to feel so alone, thank you for creating this space.
Dear Carolyn,
I am so sorry for your loss of Jennie. I can only imagine how much she is missed. What a blessing to have shared 15 years together and so much extra time since you started working from home. It is clear from your words just how much you loved her, and I am certain she knew. I am glad you were able to say your final goodbyes from home where she was comfortable and surrounded by those she loved most. Thank you for being willing to share your story. As you mentioned, it really helps to know you aren’t alone. May Jennie’s memory be a blessing to you as you continue life’s journey. Wishing you all the best.
I’m in a double conundrum. My baby “Blessing” has been a blessing for over 13 years. She entered my life at 6 weeks old. Being single and childless, she is my baby. Blessing developed dementia and has been declining. We are limping along with her wearing diapers all day except when I forget to put one on after we come back in the house in which case she invariable wets in the house but I bought several rugs with rapid absorption of liquids and a thick vinyl backing which is 99% of the time where she goes and clean up is easy. My doctor has put me on dementia meds and I think his diagnosis is right. My symptoms are relatively mold to moderate but I am forgetting the diapers more and more. I’m feeling some improvement on a dementia med. Blessing has been trying to bite for a long time now and succeeded ocassionally at first . Now I read her signs of aggression and avoid being bitten by watching her for the first little curl of her lip and onward through other signs and then the bite attempt. My apparent dementia and her dementia are a bad combination. I am becoming on the border of anger with her when she asks to go out out 5 times an hour and then doesn’t even gohalf the times. I gently scold her but never yell. I’m afraid I’ll yell at her if things continue and I could not bear it if that happened. It’s bad enough when she tucks her tail and her perky ears go flat when I beg her not to ask to go out when she doesn’t need to. Yes, I talk to her like a human child. lol I know she’s confused and I understand where all this is coming from. My mental health is beginning to suffer with trying to meet her demands and cope with my diagnosis and other things in my life. It’s Christmas Day Eve. I’m feeling so guilty about thinking I should put her to sleep because I can’t handle her symptoms of dementia. But I wonder if I should because I’d feel even more guilty if I have yelled at her even once. It seems like the only logical solution but to put her to sleep will kill me too.
Dear Linda,
I am so sorry you are in such a tragic situation with your baby Blessing. My heart aches for you with this difficult decision you are facing. What you describe is more common than you may think. You are not alone. Care giver fatigue is real, and this can cause the bond we share with a beloved dog to be broken. I know you want to do what is best for your pup but please remember your quality of life matters too! You are frustrated and struggling, and your dog can sense the tension but can’t do anything to change circumstances. It is ok to choose euthanasia. Giving your sweet girl peace and relief from her suffering is a loving choice. Please reach out to those around you and let them support your through these trying times. I am praying for your strength and comfort. Bless you both. ♥
Thank you for your wise and kind words. They are a comfort to me. I have decided to give her the rest she deserves in 2-3 weeks. I want to spoil her in the meantime by forgoing all the “don’t give a dog such and such” advice and give her what she wants to eat, in moderation. Our car rides will increase in frequency on days that we aren’t having the current torrential rains (I live in California). I feel more prepared for the final cure for her deteriorating life. God bless you for all the help you have given to me and to other troubled dog parents.
Dear Linda,
I am so glad you have found the advice you needed to make this difficult decision. I think it is lovely that you have planned special treats and outings for your sweet girl. Blessing is very lucky to have you by her side, even during these final days. I hope her passing will be peaceful and smooth. I am still praying for your strength and comfort. Thank you for reaching out and giving me this update. ♥
I lost my 12 year old Jack Russell Maisie suddenly 2 days ago. On Tuesday evening she was acting strange, not wanting to rest at bed time and moving around the floor rather than sleeping in her bed looking uncomfortable, weak & peeing small amounts where she lay during the night which she had never done before she was also sick twice. We took her to the vet the next day and they gave her B12, buscopan & anti sickness meds and took bloods. She had her spleen removed 5 months previous due to a large erupted mass and a blood transfusion. The results were benign so we were advised we would have a long time with her yet. Over the next few days she perked up dramatically, ate normally, done the toilet normally, slept well. The suddenly again in the evening she became unwell with the exact symptoms as before. We took her to the vet again and they confirmed by her blood results that she was losing blood again and they tried to take a fluid sample from her abdomen which was full off blood. They suspected that the original splenic tumour must have had some cancerous cells that spread as her temperature was also low at 37c and she was very weak not wanting to stand up they said the only option was to PTS. The vet came to the house later that day, we discussed the potential of blood transfusion but she said it would just prolong her life and not stop the bleeding so it wouldn’t be fair on her, we also discussed if it could have been a bleed from ulcers or something else but she said given the extent of the bleeding it was unlikely and she thinks she would have died on the operating table if they had tried to open her up to investigate. My regrets are that I wish we tried the blood transfusion to by some time to enable an ultrasound to confirm the diagnosis. As I am unsure what caused her illness, although the vet didn’t recommend this as given her history of a splenic mass she was sure it was a ruptured cancerous tumour. But what if they weren’t related and she could have been saved?
Dear Emma,
I am so sorry for your loss of Maisie. I understand why you would want to try everything to extend her life, but I definitely feel you made the right choice to say goodbye. Letting go was probably the only way to give your sweet girl peace and prevent unnecessary suffering. It is normal to ponder the “what ifs” but please don’t carry around the burden of guilt over how things progressed. I would have made the same decision for one of my own. I hope with time your heart will heal and you can allow yourself some grace. May Maisie’s memory stay with you forever and be a blessing in your life. ♥
Friday, Dec.9 I had my 15 year old rott/shepard mix, Rascal, euthanized. Here’s what happened. He was losing his ability to stand, as he had been during the past few weeks as he was losing muscle and had been for years. In recent months, he had been losing his balance, falling and wobbling. He had gone from 65-70 pounds his entire life to 45 pounds during his last visit to the vet. He basically quit liking food months ago, but would reluctantly eat chicken, hamburger and rice and omelets, never finishing what was in the bowl. He was diagnosed with kidney disease in summer of 2020. Dec 3, 2022 he was doing well considering his age and kidney condition. He was still eating, walking around the yard and jumping on the bed. Dec, 4 at 2:30am he woke me up heaving, falling over, unable to stand, eyes flickering and pulling hard to the right with a severe head tilt. Monday, Dec. 5 he was diagnosed with Vestibular Disease. The vet checked for ear infection, but his ears were clear. She was afraid it was in the brain. She also did bloodwork and said the kidneys had worsened. She said give him until about Wednesday, Dec 7 to see if he would recover from the Vestibular Disease. He didn’t, and in fact the ‘paralysis’ in his legs seemed to get worse. Trying to help him stand, his feet, both front and back, would bend forward, making him 100% unable to stand up. He would only tolerate being laid on his right side. He would freak out, yell, and reach for the ceiling if we laid him on his other side and even periodically while on his right side. I had to give him soft, canned food and water in the side of his mouth with a medicine dropper while laying down, which he had no problem swallowing. He would wet all the towels every couple hours, so he was still urinating. Friday, Dec. 9 there was no change. With the weekend coming I was afraid of what could happen and with the vet closed until Monday, I took him to be put to sleep. The vet said it was the right thing to do. Now after doing more research on Vestibular Disease, I feel like I should have given Rascal more time, as some websites say it can take up to two or three weeks to fully recover. Could Kidney Failure have caused the Vestibular Disease? What are the chances he would have recovered and had more quality life? I can’t get over the guilt I feel now for having my dog euthanized rather than giving him more time!
Dear Diane,
My heart aches for you and your recent loss of Rascal. From what you described, you most definitely made the right choice to give your sweet boy peace and freedom from his struggles. Kidney disease doesn’t necessarily cause vestibular disease, but it can cause problems with the brain and cause other neurological issues. It may have played a role in how severe your dog’s symptoms were. Also, even if your pup could have recovered from the vestibular disease, there is no way of knowing how much longer he would have survived before succumbing to kidney failure. I always think it is better to say goodbye one day too early rather than one day too late and allow unnecessary suffering. Please don’t carry around the burden of guilt over the “what ifs”. You did not fail Rascal and I have no doubt he knew how much he was loved. May the memories of the good times be a comfort to your heart. Bless you. ♥
I had my dear 13 year old Springer Spaniel, Riley, and I’m feeling so guilty and sad. I feel I should have taken him for a walk in the sunshine or let him stay in the backyard for one more day. He had an ultrasound three months ago which showed a tumor on his liver. Reading your letter and your response saying it is better to be one day early instead of one day late is helpful to me
tonight. Diane, thank you for sharing. Thank you Doctor for giving us a place to share our grief and sadness.
Dear Tensil,
My heart aches for you as you grieve the loss of your beloved pup. You made a loving choice to free Riley from his suffering and offer him peace and rest. Praying for healing for your heart and wishing you brighter days ahead as you continue life’s journey. Bless you. ♥
On June 22, 2020 I had to load my Skippy into my car for what would be out last ride together. He was a little Morkie so he always looked young, but he was old, and in so much pain and we wouldn’t put him through anymore so we knew in our hearts it was time to let our sweet boy go. This was during the height of Covid so the vets office was essentially closed to the public. I was ushered in a side door and placed him, wrapped in his favorite blanket, on the table. The vet gave him the first injection as I stroked his little head, told him how much I loved him, and thanked him for bringing so much joy into our family. When the vet went to give him the second shot, that poor dog screamed. It was the worst sound and it haunts me to this day. The vet said sometimes that just happens but I can’t let it go. It’s like I’ll have a flashback and I can hear it. As I’m typing this I’m literally sobbing with guilt. How does one get over that?
Dear DeAnne,
My heart aches for you that you have carried this guilt and grief with you for so many years. You did an amazing job choosing to give your little pup peace and rest. You did not fail Skippy. Your vet is right that they can cry out when the injection is given, but this is rare. The medication can sting just a bit for a split second, but usually the sedation given prior to the euthanasia solution prevents this from being an issue. I am sorry Skippy reacted in an unexpected way despite your vet’s best efforts to make it a smooth and peaceful experience. One of the blessings of having the sedation on board is it likely prevented your dog from experiencing any additional stress or anxiety. Try to allow yourself some grace and take comfort in knowing your boy was glad to have you by his side during his last moments. I have no doubt he knew you were there with him and how much he was loved. May his memory be a blessing that stays with you forever.
I lost my sweet baby Cody 6 days ago at the age of 13 1/2. I loved him more than life. I feel tremendously guilty at deciding to put him to sleep. Cody was showing all kinds of worsening signs of doggy dementia. His days were spent shaking throughout his entire body and staring blankly at the wall or into space. His tail was constantly tucked between his legs. He barked at things that weren’t there and had potty accidents often inside the house. Eventually he stopped allowing the groomer to groom his head or face. We even gave him medication before he went to the groomer to calm his nerves but eventually even that wasn’t enough. I even tried to groom him myself and he tried to bite me which is something he’s never done before. We didn’t know what else to do except to relieve him from his misery. He was so anxious and displayed so much stress all the time. He would no longer play with any of his toys and often times he wouldn’t even choose to stay in the same room as us. He would go upstairs to his bed by himself. I feel so guilty about our decision though and it’s killing me inside. I’m constantly in tears and have feelings of remorse. I know that he passed peacefully and quickly but it still weighs very heavy on my mind that we did it too soon.
Dear Sherry,
I can only imagine how much you miss Cody. Dementia can be very cruel, and it sounds like your sweet boy was really struggling. You made a selfless and loving decision to take away his suffering and give him peace and rest. I always think it is better to say goodbye one day too early rather than one day too late and allow them to suffer needlessly. I hope with time your heart will heal and you will allow yourself some grace. I would have made the same choice if it was my own beloved pup. You did not fail him. May Cody’s memory be a blessing. ♥
Dear Sherry,
After searching and browsing for hours on forums, I found your note. I want to tell you how grateful I am that you shared your story here. We also just put our little sweetheart to sleep after a very long battle with her dementia as well as other ailments that were rapidly developing. Our Belle was a very special little dog and it’s been extremely hard to accept that she’s gone. I found her walking the street where we used to live…I believe after being abandoned and probably abused. That was 16 years ago. She needed lots of medical attention and through a few difficulties, she was a strong survivor. She was also the most grateful and loving dog I’ve ever had.
Her apparent abuse had caused her to have seizures periodically and we cuddled and coddled her whenever that happened. She became very attached and so did I! We had many happy and “entertaining” years together.
Over the last few years she developed cognitive disfunction issues and it started getting pretty bad about a year ago, so I know exactly what you were going through. She lost her hearing and had mostly lost her eyesight. She had developed what we call “sundowners syndrome” and become very scared and unsettled at night. After a lot of experimentation, I finally found something to help her sleep at night. However, she became extremely regimented regarding her schedule. I had to wake up every morning at 4:00am and lie down with her at 7:00 every night. Did this for about a year. It was a tough schedule to keep! I loved her dearly and she loved me, so I was happy to take care of her any way possible.
Over the last year her dementia seemed to progress rapidly. She also had some irregularities in her blood related to liver and kidneys. Special food, medicine every day, etc. But she still seemed happy to be here with us.
The last couple months, she started changing…she had mostly lost interest in our daily walk, she wouldn’t sleep close to me any more, she wasn’t interested in much other than sleeping. She, too had started trembling and tucking her tail, standing still in a daze. She got stuck under the patio table and would get “lost” in the back yard. She would “talk” quite a bit. Suddenly she developed a severe UTI and was bleeding. One round of antibiotics didn’t completely cure her. Blood test results showed three different bacterial strains in her blood. Even through this she still was glad to see me and was still functioning pretty well. I knew, though that she was really struggling and uncomfortable. She fell off the couch when I took my eyes off of her for a few seconds and also had hit her head on a table leg once that shook her pretty bad. My greatest concern was that she might injure herself severely and I just didn’t want her to go through that at the end of her life.
One morning she woke with me as usual, but when I gave her her treat she just stared at me and dropped it like she didn’t know what to do with it. She also wouldn’t eat much.
The bacterial infections were severe and our only last option would have been to leave her with our vet for a couple days hooked up to IV’s and I just couldn’t do that to her in her mental state. She would have been terrified. We also didn’t know if it would prolong her life much or not. We came to the extremely difficult decision that it would be better to let her rest forever before she got any worse. I can’t tell you how devastated I was for a couple weeks. She was my special little girl that had been a survivor through many difficulties and always showed nothing but love for 16 years. Still struggling with the decision to say goodbye. I hope that she knows how much she was loved.
This is the first time I’ve dealt with Cognitive disfunction and it probably resulted in the overwhelming bond that we had. I’m not sure anyone can understand this unless they’ve been through it, and that’s why your post really helped me. Thank you again and I hope you will find peace in knowing that you gave your special friend a loving home and a full life. Steve
Dear Steve,
Thank you for sharing your story with us. I am sorry for your loss of Belle. It sounds like she was a once in a lifetime kind of pup. I know how hard it is to say goodbye to a beloved dog. May her memory be a blessing. Best wishes to you and your family.
Thanks for the info about pet euthanasia. My brother has a sick dog that is slowly dying. I’ll share this info about pet euthanasia with my brother.
Hi Max,
Thank you for taking the time to search for information to help with your brother’s difficult decision. Just in case, here are other articles on the same topic that might offer additional info.
1. Signs Your Dog is Dying: A Caring Message to Bring You Peace
2. Preparing for Your Dog’s Euthanasia: 10 Thoughts for Peace
3. Dog Euthanasia: Knowing When to Say Goodbye
My husband and I just had our dog Lacey put to sleep yesterday. She had aggressive level 2 cancer. We had a cancerous mass removed from her backside in December of last year and were saving up to have 2-3 more removed. Her mammary glands had them as well. Before we knew it, those ones got so swollen, purple, and huge. She also ended up getting another mass in the same spot as the one we had removed in December. The masses appeared quickly on her body since December when we had the one removed. The vet told us 10-14 days ago she had level 2 cancer that was extremely aggressive which was why they started to appear fast and the others grew so much bigger in such a short amount of time. He told me that the mammary gland one was hot to the touch and had to be causing her a great deal of pain. He continued on to tell me the best course of action would be to euthanize her and he wouldn’t wait any longer than a month. I asked for pain meds to keep her comfortable until we could make that call. Well, 2 of the masses started to bleed and she kept messing with them. My husband was extremely close to this dog so he asked me what to do because he said he couldn’t make this decision. I told him I felt she needed put down and the sooner the better. She was a lab so she was still so happy and playful. My concern was the mammary gland one opening and her dying in an extremely painful way. She was so excited to go on a car ride to the vet. I find myself feeling so guilty wondering if I did the right thing. She was so happy and I’m like, did I do it too soon? Did she have more time? I didn’t want to see her suffer at all and I didn’t want to be selfish. But now I feel I wasn’t selfish but stupid and cruel. I feel like I hired a hit man to kill my dog. Is this normal? Did I do the right thing?
Dear Bobbie Jo,
I am sorry Lacey’s cancer was so aggressive and spread quickly. I understand the guilt and grief that comes with making this tough decision. I definitely think you made the right choice. I always say it is better to let go one day too early rather than one day too late. I am glad your girl was able to go out with some dignity and joy instead of suffering and struggling. Saying goodbye was the most loving and unselfish decision you could have made. I hope with time your heart will heal and you will be comforted knowing Lacey is at peace. May her memory be a blessing to you and your husband. ♥
I am struggling I feel like my dog could of made someone happy she wasn’t getting along with my other dog and hurt her 2 times. Also my daughter tried to stop a fight and got bit! I wanted her to go to a good home , shelters were full. And this second time we decided to put her down now I feel horrible! She was an outstanding smart dog
Dear Unknown,
I am sorry you had to say goodbye to your dog under such difficult circumstances. Choosing to euthanize a dog for behavioral issues is very emotional and heart breaking but can be absolutely necessary. Please don’t let the “what ifs” continue to burden you with grief and guilt. You made a decision to try and prevent injury and keep your other dog and family safe. I don’t blame you one bit for making the decision you did. You are not a bad person, and I don’t think you did wrong by anyone involved. I am glad your girl did not have to go through the agony of being left at a shelter or ending up badly wounded due to a fight. I hope with time your heart will heal and find comfort in knowing you loved her well. Bless you. ♥
Our beautiful and beloved German Shepherd Kim passed away sadly two months ago, We followed our vet’s advice in having Kim put to sleep when it became clear that she was suffering and that she wasn’t going to recover from the painful skin disease that was now affecting her eyes as well as her ears, and she was in pain as well. We arranged with the vet to have the procedure done in the boot of our car outside the vet clinic. Kim began crying as soon as we arrived, and though we both held her and spoke lovingly to her, the two of us together could not comfort her. I believe some ancient instinct kicked in because she knew somehow without being told, what was about to happen, and that her life was ending. Having read these stories, I wish that a sedative had been offered, because the poor animal was so very distressed. A cannula was attached to her paw and we were left alone with her for about ten minutes before the vet and her nurse returned. This happened a couple of times before the drug was administered. Poor Kim continued to cry until I saw two huge teardrops fall from the old dog’s face.
“She’s gone,” my husband said through his tears. We drove home in silence, and together carried our precious burden to the graveside where we laid her down. With the help of a compassionate friend, we lovingly laid her to rest under the big tree in the garden Our hearts are broken. Our only comfort is knowing she’s free of a life of pain and discomfort. I miss her all day, every day.
Dear Janet,
My heart aches for you with your recent loss of Kim. I understand how tough and emotional it is to say goodbye, but also know that the decision was made from a place of love. I am glad you were able to be with your sweet girl during her last moments. I have no doubt she knew how much you loved her, and I am sure your presence was comforting to her despite her anxiety. What a blessing to be able to offer your girl peace and rest after dealing with chronic pain from her skin issues. I hope with time your heart will heal. May her memory be a blessing to you both.
We just had to send our 9 1/2 year old Akita girl Layla to heaven this past Monday. Out of nowhere this past August of 2021, she had her 1st seizure in the front yard. I called our veterinarian immediately holding her in my arms and crying on the phone. She went in that day for an exam and all of her bloodwork was normal. At that point, we did not put her on medication to see if she would have any more. Our veterinarian was right when she said that it just won’t stop at one. She had more, 1 a week or 1 every 2 weeks so we decided to put her on seizure medication. The seizures progressed to cluster seizures where in a 24 hour span she would have 4 to 6 seizures and although they are the worse seizures to have, she came out of them and would be seizure free for a couple of months. Unfortunately this weekend starting on Saturday night at 8:50pm and until we could get her back into the veterinarian Monday morning she was up to 13 seizures!!! My heart broke watching her body go thru this. If our veterinarian would have been open on Sunday, we would have taken her then. I just wanted her to go to our veterinarian and not an emergency one where it would be loud and chaotic. I did not want that for her because she deserved better. She fought getting into my husband’s truck and fought going inside the clinic because dogs are so smart she didn’t want to leave us at the end even though she was tired and had given up the fight. As soon as we got her into the very peaceful special room that they have for these moments, she just laid down on the rug and didn’t move a muscle. We all laid with her and we didn’t even try to get her on the table, she was so worn out. We told her how much we loved her the whole weekend and even the whole time she was sick with having seizures because we all knew that we were on borrowed time. Our veterinarian thought that she had cancer so that is why this could have happened and she had a oozing, bloody tumor next to her tail that we didn’t want to operate on because of the seizures. All I know is that I wish she didn’t have to go thru what she did this weekend. Grand Mal seizures are horrific and I wish no pet owner would have to endure what we did. I just cant stop crying and the house is so empty without her. Her and I were bonded and she was my daughter’s best friend. I just don’t know if the pain will ever go away or if I can be happy in my house ever again but I know we did do the right thing by her because she could not go on like that nor would I ever want her to. Rest In Peace Layla, our beautiful Akita girl xoxoxo
Dear Susan,
I understand your grief over the loss of sweet Layla. The decision to let go is so incredibly difficult even when you know it is the right choice. I am glad you were able to give your girl lots of love and ultimately peace and rest. Thank you for sharing your story with our readers as it may help someone else in a similar situation. I pray with time your heart will heal and your family will be comforted knowing Layla is pain free and whole again. May her memory be a blessing. ♥
I euthanized my boy bichons 5 days ago he was almost 13. He had his first seizure when he was two he was diagnosed as epileptic. Our vets put him on phenobarbital. The dosage was increased by age six since the twice to three times a hear seizures became a cluster. We have fought seizures until his last month when they were endless and he was exhausted. Multiple vet visits no money speared for his care. His last day after five long seizures some grand mall his leg started to shake uncontrollably. We took him to the vet and decided not to add another medication to his ritual and let him go peacefully. He was show quality absolutely beautiful , groomed every six weeks and my treasure especially during the long pandemic when he took such good care of me. I have read many grief posts and this is the first one I could relate and reply to. I can hardly see my eyes are so swollen I do not know how I will very be able to get over thiis I hate my home I see him everywhere. Thank you for your message I truly understand what you have suffered.
Dear Ann,
I am sorry you had to say goodbye to your Bichon boy. The grief is very real and going on without a beloved dog can feel overwhelming. It sounds like you made the right decision and I have no doubt your pup knew how much he was loved. I hope with time your heart will heal and you can find comfort knowing he has found peace and rest. May his memory be a blessing.
We had do put our sweet 13 year old heeled down suddenly Saturday morning. Friday night after playing ball she had a small seizure. Then again a few hours later. This was not normal for her, being a nurse I knew it wasn’t ok. The next morning we played with her gave her love, another seizure. My husband and 6 year old got them (male dog too) ice cream because they’ve been wanting to celebrate the dogs birthdays. She had her worst seizure when she saw it. She pooped herself and lost all consciousness. I saw her tongue hanging out in the arms of my husband and I lost it, I was getting everything ready to rush her in. Despite my gut feeling I had them do labs to make sure her thyroid, blood, diabetes etc. all normal. Putting things together like the way she hasn’t been able to see her ball, walking into things, we knew it was cancer or tumor. Because of her last seizure we were scared to take her home. I didn’t want her to seize like that and suffer to her death. If she can’t chase a ball and be excited she isn’t living a good life. Sadly our male didn’t get to say goodbye. We rushed out so fast. After putting her bed and all away and seeing him cry and pace we got it back out and he has been sleeping in her bed & we got him a stuffed animal and made it smell like her. It’s been helping.
I came here because I was struggling with how fast it was. I wish i laid on the floor with her the night before, she was under my feet like usual. Could we have taken her home and done steroids and love on her for 2 days? The knowledge in me says we did the right thing. Form her last seizure she seemed confused and just not right. I’m grateful for how it happened. She literally went out playing ball and wanting ice cream. I’m sad for my male dog who didn’t get to say goodbye. It feels empty. She was hyper loyal and so fun. I hope she knows how loved she was. She was there pre marriage, military moves, kids, our emotional trauma. She was there. My male dog has never been on a walk or in a car without her. I hope he can adjust. We miss her so much.
Dear Ashley,
I understand the heartache you feel with the loss of your sweet girl. I am sorry the goodbye was sudden but glad she didn’t have to suffer. It sounds like you made the right decision and let her go with dignity. I always think it is better to have said goodbye one day too early rather than one day too late. Praying your male dog will adjust and find peace in this transition. May her memory be a blessing to you and your family.
we lost our beloved rescue sent from CA by my daughter and son in law.. Dottie was the sweetest dog I have ever had….when we go on walks everyone pets her, squats down to be her level even though she is a big girl…she had an horrendous life before she was saved but her disposition never returns to what might could be an angry girl….I have been blessed to have
many rescued dogs and cats in my life
but she was the most loving….her death was sudden and I’m trying to keep in my heart that she was happy and greatly loved here….
Dear Betty,
I am so sorry for your loss of sweet Dottie. Thank you so much for giving her a second life and loving her. Praying for peace and comfort during this difficult time. ♥
We had to put our sweet two year old French bulldog to sleep today. She was a lover girl with a big heart. Bella was a feisty little thing. She is survived by her two older English bulldog brothers Boss and Bentley whom she bullied majority of the time. We got her two years ago and came in and stole the spotlight. Bella ended up with a rare liver disease that was untreatable. She was so tough the signs she did show the past few weeks were not alarming because she was that tough. Until she started vomiting profusely within a 24 hour period and wouldn’t stop. It was an underlying condition that went undetected since I’m thinking birth. It was heart wrenching and a tough decision but she is at piece right now. I know things will heal in time but the two years we did have her we will forever cherish.
Dear Lauren,
I am sorry you had to say goodbye to Bella. It is heartbreaking to let go especially with a pup so young and with such short notice. You made the right decision, and I am certain Bella knew how much she was loved. May her memory be a blessing.
Ralphie was…is…an amazing soul. His soul counted upon my advocacy to do for him that he couldn’t articulate for himself. Ralphie was a Portuguese Water Dog that I rescued when he was about 9 months old…and he was my dearest, closest companion for the next 15 years. This morning after a few months of watching his rapid physical decline (though his happy spirit was steadfast to the end)…I made the last decision for his soul’s well-being…I had him euthanized. He had been showing a myriad of physical signs that indicated the need for my advocacy…cognitive decline…incontinence….wheezing convulsively before letting out a loud and horrific hack…couldn’t lie down or get up sans straining discomfort…took him several minutes and trips to his favored potty spot in the yard for simple elimination…he would wander off…and then get confused. Quite simply…it was time. His last weekend was a good one…hope abounded…tail wagging…his spirit evident against a body that was quickly betraying him. His last night was one of his nails tap dancing across the hardwood floors as he ambled around….pacing and such. I escorted him into the backseat of the car, and pulled into the Vet’s…was a bawling mess as I tried explaining to the front desk that I brought him in for his last transition on this plane. Lot’s of hugs…kisses…and soulful eyes locking onto mine. His passing was two shot procedure that went well…with the exception of the wheezing as the final injection took it’s course. That was the hardest part. His spirit was staging a last resurgent effort to stay with me. I am crushed…but, I know I did right by my best friends soul. Run free Ralphie…and please…stop for a second to look back at me to let me know that you know…I’m still there with you.
Dear Steve,
Thank you for sharing Ralphie’s story with us. What a blessing to have shared life with him for over 15 years! I am certain that he knew how much he was loved, and that love is never ending. May his memory be a blessing.
I had to put my best friend of 14 years down this morning and although these posts helped – I still feel horribly guilty for not doing more to try and extend her life. She had rapidly lost weight (13lbs to 8lbs) since Thanksgiving, but I blame myself for not feeding her correctly. The vet told me that it was some other unknown, as my other dogs are thriving on the homemade meals. I’m angry at myself for not having the finances for tests, ultrasounds and more. I’m a longtime dog owner and this really weighs on my conscience. She gave me the best 14 years of my life and I’m wracked with guilt. She was not ready to go and fought the whole time. I feel like a murderer… All I can do is pray for her and God’s forgiveness as it was done out of love. And not even that is comforting to me right now…
Dear Christine,
I am sorry you had to say goodbye to your senior girl. I know the guilt you speak of and the heartache that comes with making this kind of decision. It sounds like you made the right choice. I have no doubt your sweet girl knew how much she was loved. Your unselfish act allowed her to find peace and rest. I hope with time your heart will heal and that her memory will be a blessing.
My baby was put down today. It was rapid and unexpected. I do have those feelings right now of could have should have would have. I just want my best friend back
Dear Jen,
I am sorry you had to say goodbye to your baby. It is a heartbreaking decision but comes from a place of love and is the most unselfish choice we can make. I pray with time your heart will find peace and comfort.
I had to make the difficult decision to put my 14 year old Austrailian Shephard mix, Marley down yesterday. It is something I have known was on the horizon for a while now. She was physically shutting down. Dementia was setting in, trouble walking, spending most of her days sleeping and finally this week stopped eating. That’s when I knew it was time. She wasn’t interest in her favorite food or treats anymore. She was tired and ready to rest. The night before her appointment was the hardest. I sobbed thinking about taking her to the vet, she always hated going so bad and that tore me up worse than anything, knowing her final moments would be in the place she hated most. But when the time came to take her, it was less painful than I could have ever imagined. We listened to music on the way and I talked to her the entire ride over. My wife and mother in law were both meeting us there and I focused on telling her we were going to see her granny and mama, which brought me peace and I feel it did her too. Once we arrived she perked up more than I have seen in a long while. We discussed options with the vet but ultimately decided she was ready to rest. I have never seen her such at ease at the vet as she was yesterday. She walked onto the scale with no hesitation we lifted her up to our level and she laid there calm and let us love on her. Once the vet gave her the first injection she rested her chin on my arm, my wife was petting her from the front, I was by her side and my mother in law was behind her. All of us showering her with love and pets and kisses until her last breath. It was so peaceful, more than I could have ever imagined. She fell asleep in the loving arms of her three favorite people and I believe that is the last thing she remembers. Her loss still hurts today and will linger for a long time. But I know euthanasia was the best thing I could have done for her. My girl was ready, she went out without a peep. She is forever resting now and I truly believe we will be reunited one day.
I hope this helps anyone struggling with the decision to euthanize their animal. The pain is inevitable but this was the most humane and peaceful way to go about it.
Dear Matt,
Thank you for sharing Marley’s story with us. I am sorry you had to say goodbye but am so glad you were able to surround her with love until the very end. I am glad her transition was peaceful and gave her the peace and rest she deserved. My thoughts are with you and your family as you adjust to life without your sweet girl by your side. I hope her memory will continue to be a blessing. ♥
Dr Buzby thank you for this post. My Duke was injured in a dog attack with multiple bite puncture wounds and a long laceration along his neck that pulled his hide away from his tissue underneath. With staples on six puncture wounds and several stitches down his neck, wee took him home hoping to nurse him back. Watching him struggle was traumatic for me. The puncture wounds on his left front torso and chest soon began to swell and he developed a large lump at the site of the staples, His front leg/torso/and chest swelled considerably and he stopped laying down. He also stopped taking water and food. I thought he was suffering and spoke to the vet about putting him down. They considered it a convenience euthanasia which makes me think they expected he would recover, but the vet never really described it that way. He just reminded me that he couldn’t tell if he may have internal injuries. I am horrified to think that I made this decision if he actually had a real chance . He was just struggling so much and I anted him to have relief. How do I reconcile myself to this?
Hi Belinda,
I am sorry you are still carrying around the burden of grief over saying goodbye to Duke. Making the decision to let go is never easy and sometimes the “right” choice isn’t completely clear. It sounds like you made the best decision you could to help Duke find peace and rest and it came from a place of love. I hope as time goes by your heart will heal and that Duke’s memory will be a blessing to you.
I recently made the heartbreaking decision to put our 12 year old Australian Shepherd Dakota to sleep. He had a inoperable liver tumor which had sores to his entitling by the time we discovered it. He had good days and bad days towards the end but he always tried his best to show affection no matter how much pain he was in. We made the decision to put him to sleep to relieve his pain. The decision still haunts me as I can’t get past the grief of holding him in my arms as he was given the injection. I feel as though I let him down in some way, that he trusted me to keep him safe and I did just the opposite in the end. I know in my heart of hearts that it was the best thing for him. and I can only hope he felt how much I loved him in the end.
Dear A Brock,
I am sorry you had to say goodbye to your sweet boy. I understand what a difficult decision it is and how it leaves us heartbroken. I am glad you were able to be there with Dakota to the very last second. I have no doubt he knew how much he was loved. Making the decision to let go is the final act of tremendous love we can show to our faithful companions. You allowed Dakota to have his final peace and rest and I pray his memory will continue to be a blessing.
I appreciate this post, but I am struggling with heart shattering guilt. Our almost 14 year old lab mix, Marley, was diagnosed with cancer 5 months ago. A tumor on the throat that the vet said was inoperable. We soaked up every last minute together, but at the end he was struggling to eat, his breathing was fast and shallow, and he just laid in bed 23 hours a day. BUT he still wanted his walk (albeit slowly and painfully, while stumbling) up until the end. And when we finally thought it was time, he wagged his tail when I said “ride” to go to the vet. It broke my heart. I almost called it off. Now I’m afraid we put him down too soon? Was that little bit of spark worth the pain? Also, our vet’s office is so busy now with staff shortages, the process felt rushed and I’m torturing myself with the idea that he was stressed and confused for his last moments. I don’t know if I can forgive myself. And how effective is the sedation? How do we know that they don’t feel any pain? Thank you for any insights you have. I knew this would be hard, but I had no idea. The pain and guilt feels physically painful.
Dear Christen,
I am so sorry that your final moments with Marley were rushed and left you hurting. I definitely think you made the right decision to say goodbye. It sounds like Marley was suffering but, in true lab fashion, still found joy in spending time with you. Making this decision leaves us with grief, but it is the most loving and caring thing we can do for our senior dogs. You allowed Marley to find peace and rest and took his pain away. The sedation is extremely effective and affects the brain within seconds, giving pain relief taking away anxiety. I am glad you were able to be there with Marley until the very end. I am positive he knew how much he was loved. I hope with time you will let this guilt fade away as it is not your burden to carry. May his memory be a blessing to you and your family.
Last week wile I was walking my 11 year old fur baby (Luna), a neighbors pitbull attacked her. Biting her abdomen, with Lunas efforts to fight back her jaw dislocated. It was a image I will never forget. I was screaming frantically, in panic, upset and so heartbroken. Seeing her alive but hurt, I put her in a towel she was bleeding and put her in the car. . I rushed to the nearest Vet I could find it was a 40 min drive but it felt like the longest day in my life. The vet expressed after seeing her status that i should consider putting her down. But I was willing to do anything to keep her alive. He gave me some options but ultimately because of her age it was going to be a difficult healing process. Luna was a rescue from Puerto Rico. I brought her to Florida. Now I feel very empty, She was my everything. I have no kids. She was my baby.
Dear Jennifer,
I am so sorry to hear of this horrible experience for you and Luna. The decision to say goodbye is never easy, but I feel with your vets help, you made the right decision. For many of us, dogs are our closest family and dearest friend, but I hope with time your empty feeling will ease. May you find comfort in the many wonderful memories you shared together over the years. She was a lucky girl to have been rescued by you. So sorry again for your loss.
It’s been over five years now since I lost my childhood best friend. We had to euthanize him after he rapidly declined over the span of three days due to internal bleeding caused by a tumor in his gastrointestinal tract. At the time I was only 16 and I didn’t let myself grieve properly. After just 6 months, I convinced my dad to get a new dog, thinking it would fix the situation. But, this created tension between me and my siblings because my decision affected their grief process. They hated our new dog for a few years and I felt guilty that this new dog was being resented by people in his new home and for disregarding my siblings’ grief. After realizing the gravity of the decision (while taking the new dog for a walk), I broke down crying realizing that by bringing in a new dog to my life, I would lose him one day. Things are better between us now as siblings and they adore him now. I finally allowed myself to grieve his loss 4 years later until I got a message from him in a dream that he made it to the other side and that he’s alright. But now, our new dog (whose become incredibly attached to me) is reaching into his geriatric years and the death anxiety I feel is getting worse (even though he’s happy and healthy). I’m paranoid that one day he too will die suddenly and I won’t be able to cope with the loss. I’m doing my best to make the most of our time together while he’s still here but it’s like at the same time I’m worried about getting too attached to him which will make that dreadful day even more unbearable. I’ve talked about my feelings with family and have tried to look up more resources about death so I can come to accept my dog’s mortality and feel at peace. But I still find it hard to let go of this anticipating grief (even though everything is fine). What should I do?
Hi Lee,
What a difficult situation. I’m so sorry for the loss of your childhood best friend and the grief and turmoil of the past few years. I am glad that things have gotten better between you, your siblings, and your new dog. I understand how difficult it is to love a dog and know that you will lose them at some point. No matter how long you have with them, it never really seems like enough time. I think that making the most of your time with your dog and trying to think through/talk through your feelings are both great steps. There are a variety of resources (books, brochures, support groups, hotlines, etc) that can be helpful when processing the loss of a dog. One such list of resources can be found on the OSU Veterinary Medical Center’s Honoring The Bond program website (. Thanks for reaching out about this and sharing your struggles that I suspect many other dog parents understand quite well. ❤
We just had to put our almost 14 year old Bichon to sleep. Zeus was the most sweetest and loyal friend!! Having to decide to put him to sleep was the hardest decision to make. He became so sick so quick and I could not bare to see him suffer another day. I have had an incredible empty feeling for losing him along with a lot of guilt thinking I could have done something different to help him earlier. It was so hard to come home to our house afterwards. Everything reminds me of him. and I miss him so much!
Hi Cindy,
I am so sorry for the loss of your Bichon. It is always so difficult to lose a beloved dog and to be reminded of him everywhere you look. I hope that in time you will be able to let go of the guilt you are feeling. I understand how easy it is to second guess your decisions but in the end that just makes you carry an unnecessary and harmful burden. I have no doubt that Zeus knew how much you loved him and that you made the decisions along the way that you thought were best at the time. Sending love and comfort as you go through the grieving process. ❤
I’m struggling with guilt and the what if’s from his sudden loss.
He had just turned 10 and was a German Shepard. He went from 100% normal one night to lethargic and then collapsing the next day. He had a pericardial effusion and pericardiocentisis and the effusion returned after just 14 hours the morning after his overnight stay. They recommended euthanasia and suspected a hermangiosacroma tumor on his heart. The other option was the heart tap again, but it would probably just return.
The logical side of me thinks that if the first heart tap didn’t work, why would the second? but the what if’s haunt me. What if I brought him in 6 hours earlier when he was unusually lethargic, but before he collapsed? What if i did the heart tap again? Would the outcome have been different or did his heart just decide to start bleeding that day and that was his fate no matter what? Hard to accept when I had a happy healthy dog one day and he was gone the next.
Hi Charles,
I am so sorry for your loss. It is so difficult to see your dog be normal one day and gone the next and to wonder if things could have been different. It sounds like you (and the veterinary team) did everything right for him, so I hope in time you are able to find peace with the decisions you made. There are so many times in life that we can get consumed with the “what ifs” but we just can’t change the past. All we can do is make decisions with the information we have in front of us at the time.
Unfortunately, bleeding into the pericardial sac often presents exactly the way it did for your dog, and very rarely has a good outcome. With those cases, there usually isn’t any way you would have known there was a hemangiosarcoma growing on his heart until it started bleeding like it did. He had a ticking time-bomb in his chest and most likely, nothing you could have done would have changed that. One of my friends and fellow vets was a guest author for me, and wrote about losing her dog to splenic hemangiosarcoma (same tumor but on the spleen). I think reading it might be helpful in your healing process. It is called Hemangiosarcoma in Dogs: Symptoms, Treatment, and Life Expectancy. So sorry again for your loss. ❤
I lost my previous Molly 2 days ago. The guilt is just so overwhelming. She was admitted for suspected pyometra. By the second day her tummy was swollen double the size, they had to put her on oxygen cause she was struggling to breath. She wasn’t responding to the medication. I’m not even sure if I was present when they gave the second shot. My heart aches
Hi Marianne,
I’m so sorry for the loss of your dear Molly. Losing a beloved pet is always so difficult. I hope that in time the guilt lessens and you are able to find comfort and peace. ❤
We put our husky Koda, to sleep yesterday?. It has been one of the most difficult decisions of my life. Koda, was just shy of 16 years old, my sons girlfriend ran over him in the driveway about 7-8 years ago, he was under her tire and she didn’t see him. He survived it, but as he got older he struggled with arthritis, in his hips. Then dementia started to set in. He was struggling with walking, laying down, and paced the floor until all hours of the night until finally settling down at 3 to 5 am. He couldn’t walk up stairs without rolling down, so I would help him up and down the stairs, he slept by me just outside my bedroom door, and he refused to change that habit, so I helped him, to protect him from more injury. Then going out to relieve himself became a problem, trying to balance and falling in his mess was hard to watch. At times he was in so much pain he couldn’t find a way to lie down, so he would just fall over, hitting his head on whatever was close. He was constantly falling and could not get up alone. Watching Koda struggle was so difficult.. I made the decision to put him to sleep because of the constant pain, the inability to walk normally, and have a quality life and he had lost 10 lbs.. Putting him to sleep was painless for him. The sedative the doctor gave him worked and the final shot took seconds. But now I can’t stop crying, I am filled with overwhelming grief, and guilt, like I did something wrong. Should I have gave it more time, should I have gave him stronger medicine, he was already on daily pain pills and joint medication. The thought of taking a life has just overwhelmed me.. I can’t seem to even function. I did it because he was struggling and at his age, it wouldn’t get better. I was afraid to leave him, he seemed lost and confused at times, and I was thankful with Covid, because, I have been here with him constantly for 10 months. Please tell me I did the right thing?. I lost my son, a few years ago, and this is just snowballing, I have to find some peace and understanding in all this. We do what we think is best for them, so they don’t suffer, but then we suffer for making the decision to end their life ?
Oh Colleen, my heart hurts for you. Losing the ones we love is so devastating. Please hear me when I say that you absolutely did the right thing for Koda. You gave him a wonderful life with you and then at the right time, you gave him the gift of a painless death. As veterinarians, we understand well the gravity of ending a life, but also the sweetness of knowing a beloved pet is no longer in pain. I urge you to release yourself from any guilt you feel. It is clear from your post that you cared for Koda so much and were dedicated to ensuring he could live his best life with you for as long as possible and to giving him a dignified end. I hope you are able to find peace in time. You have my deepest sympathies for the loss of your son as well.
Colleen,
Thanks so very much for sharing your experience and story with your baby, Koda. While reading your story, I felt like you were writing on my behalf. I, too, had to put my almost 16 year old Golden Retriever, Cassie, down 3 days ago. We adopted Cassie from a rescue organization when she was about 9 months old. She had already had a litter or puppies and her evil owner dumped her and her puppies on the side of the highway. I kind person picked her up with her babies. She was sick with heartworms, very thin, and balding when we brought her home. She was the perfect family pet in every way.
Cassie was deteriorating in so many ways. She struggled to walk as her hind legs were getting weak and her right side even weaken which caused her to fall toward the right. She slipped and slid all over our hardwoods and it was pitiful to see her try to stand or walk. She managed okay on carpet areas which she preferred. She also needed help when going out to potty as she was unstable on most days and I worried she would fall into her own poo. I purchased a “help em up” knock off harness about a year prior which was a God send with helping her with stairs and/or general support. She had been on vet prescribed pain meds (carprofen) for several years which definitely kept her pain at bay. Her eyes were so glossed over with cataracts as most old dogs develop. She paced quite a bit and mostly near feeding time. She became intolerant of dog food at age 14, so she was on a homemade diet of Instant Pot turkey, peas, sweet potatoes, scrambled eggs, turkey bacon. She licked her front feet and legs obsessively and I’ve now learned that’s an indication of their attempt to relieve pain. We almost lost her in 2019 when we thought she had a stroke, but it was thankfully vestibular disease. She recovered after a few months.. We had many more months with her.
As far as the decision to put her down, I kept waiting for “that sign” as if she would tell me one day when she was ready. Every day I wondered if she would still be with us. I knew the day was near though. She never sent that signal that it was time and she likely never would. Last Saturday morning, Cassie had left her normal poo poo surprises in her room. No big deal as she just couldn’t always go through the night. However, a few hours later I noticed her struggling to stand to her feet because she was pooing while laying down. She was visibly bothered by her inability to stand at such a time. I just knew she was very near, so scheduled via the online Emergency Vet and proceeded forward.
My guilt and grief seems also very overwhelming. How could I take a life? Cassie trusted me and I drove her and walked her into her death. I had every opportunity to back out. Like you, maybe I could have increased her meds or done something more. I struggle terribly with the thought that I took a life…of my sweetest girl of 16 years. I’m trying to recognize that her life was really good with us. Cassie went on almost 50 camping trips all over the Southeast. She was never boarded and always traveled along with us. She loved the beach and the mountain hiking trails. She loved her younger companion, Petey, as well. She taught my son how to walk 11 years ago as she let him grab her back fur for support and she strolled him around the house. She was terrified of thunderstorms and always found her way to our bed to quiver for hours. She was a gentle soul and is greatly missed. I’m trying to find peace with her passing. It was so very peaceful as she just fell asleep. I know if there was “that sign” one day, then that could have been very painful for her and/or traumatic for everyone. I hope I saved her that agony that many elderly dogs experience. Rest in peace sweet Cassie girl. You brought so much joy to our family. Thanks to all who have shared their stories here as it has helped me through this grieving process.
Dear Stephanie,
Thank you for sharing your story. Cassie was so lucky to have had you in her life. You went above and beyond for your girl. Please don’t carry around the burden of guilt for your decision. Letting go of a beloved dog is heartbreaking for us, but is the most loving and selfless decision we can make. You allowed Cassie to find her final rest and peace. I have no doubt she knew how much you loved her. I hope her memory will continue to be a blessing and bring you comfort.
My Schnaupin was 15 years old and I had beliefs that he would have 1 to 2 more years with me. He was licking his tummy area for sometime. The Vet said it was allergies. So I stopped taking him in to care for that. I have learned since that severe licking means they are in pain. I could also tell he had trouble getting his pee pee put in after pooping….probably from pain or cancer. I didn’t have a Vet look at him because of the expense and age. He then had a fatty tissue bump that grew huge and hard on his thigh, we let that go for a while, then had it surgerically removed. It then cause his leg to swell and he had horrible ulcers on his tummy area that started to ooze.
I felt that I put him down too soon. We were scheduled to leave out of country and I knew I couldn’t leave him with someone for that week. I scheduled an at home euthanasia (expensive but worth it for my faithful companion). I felt if this trip could have been at a different time I would have had a few more months with him.
I felt like I betrayed him, watching him go. I have a small garden area with a stone with his name on it.
Then…. we got puppy 2 weeks later! A joy but again, I feel I’ve betrayed my beloved Schnaupin again.
Hi Michele, Reading your story, I don’t think you betrayed your dog at all. If he had swelling and oozing sores, that was definitely uncomfortable for him. I think you made the best decision by letting him go peacefully (I am so happy to hear that you orchestrated it at home) before things got much worse. Bless you. ♥️
This article touched me! We had to put our beloved 17 yo Shit-Tzu to sleep two years ago. I am absolutely haunted and cannot let the guilt go. It was a middle of the night episode of sheer terror she endured that made us take her in. She was blind and had dementia, but still got around ok and ate/drank. I know it was time, but the ER Vet was busy that night and after the exam told us she was stable. We didn’t want her to go through another episode again, especially if we weren’t there for her, so we made the decision to euthanize. With the first shot, she cried out for a while minute!! I was devastated. Of course the sedative finally kicked in, but the fact that she had pain just kills me. I wish we had brought her home and gone to our own vet the next day. I feel like I caused her pain at the very end. She was my baby.
Hello Joan, I’m so sorry to read that you’ve carried this guilt. I know your dog would not want that for you and I really want you to KNOW that you did the best you could with the information you had. You would have felt TERRIBLY if you’d taken her home and she DID have another episode that night. You made the best decision you could for her and I think you chose wisely. Please read this companion article for more information that I think will help you: https://toegrips.com/preparing-for-dog-euthanasia/ I’m not sure the crying out equated to pain, as I describe in this article. I really really hope you find peace in this memory. ♥️ Bless you.
My Schnauzer cried out in pain with the first shot too and then she went right out. I hate that the last thing she felt was pain even though it was only for a second. I had wanted her to go peacefully.
Hi Joan,
thank you for sharing your story.
We also made the difficult decision to say goodbye to our 16.5 y/o Shih Tzu last week and heartbreak is an understatement. He was diagnosed with liver cancer over a year ago but he still managed to live his best life until the very end. We just pray we made the right decision by letting him sleep in peacefully, and that he knows how much he was loved by all of us.
Reading everyone’s stories and knowing that whatever I feel is normal during the grieving process, is comforting and healing.
Two days ago I held my sweet boy Kenji in my arms when he took his last breath. My heart hurts so bad right now and the tears just won’t stop. I’m trying to accept that it was the right decision, but I can’t help but think that’s a lie I’m telling myself to feel better.
He was with me for 16 and a half years. I brought him home as a puppy. He was so healthy for so long but began to decline over the past few years due to canine cognitive dysfunction. He gradually lost his sight and I could no longer take him on walks. He stopped sleeping through the night and became incontinent. His barking became more like howls of pain and anxiety.
I think I was in denial for a long time about how poor his quality of life had become. His condition really caused a lot of strain between my partner and me. I feel horrible now for the times I got frustrated or angry at him. I feel guilty and keep thinking maybe I could have gotten him more help or tried some other medication or spent more time with him at the end.
I know on a rational level that it was time to let him go – probably way past the time – but that doesn’t make the hurt go away. He was a part of my life for so long it feels like a part of me has died too.
Hi Ryan,
My heart goes out to you. I can feel your pain and tell how much you loved Kenji. Losing a dog to canine cognitive dysfunction can be so difficult because while their body may still be somewhat healthy, their mind is not, and they are no longer the same dog. It sounds like you took amazing care of him and made the most loving choice you could—the choice to set him free.
Please don’t be too hard on yourself about the times when you got frustrated or let yourself get stuck in guilt over what could have been. I have no doubt that Kenji knew how much you loved him and that he loved you too. I hope that in time the grief lessens a little and you find a measure of comfort in all the good memories you had with Kenji. Thinking about you!❤️
P.S. My dear friend Dr. Woodruff wrote an amazing article about making the decision to euthanize a dog with dementia. In case it would help you as you process your loss, here is a link to it: Dementia in Dogs: When to Euthanize Your Beloved Senior Dog
I had to make a decision on March 3, 2020 to do what was best for my 13 year old chihuahua, Precious. She had heart problems caused by not taking care of her teeth. She was on medication for her heart, a medicine to help with her fluid buildup and pain medication. I stayed awake many nights listening to her coughing as she tried to breathe. My heart was breaking as she started to withdraw from me. The night before I had her put to sleep she refused to sleep with me. That was the only night in our lives that she hadn’t slept with me. My vet was so compassionate and even shed tears with me. I held Precious until she was gone. She had two shots and my heart is still broken. Not a day goes by that I don’t cry. I had her cremated so I can feel as if she is still near. The vet said if her heart medication was a stronger dose she might have six months left. I feel guilty for the decision I made but I couldn’t bear the thought of her suffering anymore. This was my baby and my best buddy. She took a part of my heart with her when she passed. I have a 16 x 20 canvas picture of her on my wall. I still look at her picture and remember all the good times we shared. I will always love Precious ❣️
Hello Debbie, I’m so terribly sorry to read of your loss of Precious. I beg of you not to feel guilt though. First of all, her heart disease was likely caused by genetic + aging factors, and although dental disease can contribute, I feel strongly that this statement is not accurate: “She had heart problems caused by not taking care of her teeth.” SO please let me take that burden off your shoulders. As for whether or not you should have tried to keep her around longer, I think when she didn’t sleep with you, she made a very strong statement. I think that happened because she was so uncomfortable that she couldn’t lie in bed comfortably with you and breathe. At that point, you did the selfless, compassionate thing for your baby girl. Please take comfort in knowing that I think you did a great job loving her well to the very end. ♥️
Thank you for these last two blog posts. We had to put our elderly dog to sleep yesterday and even though it was obviously necessary, the procedure was smooth and we knew what to expect, and I don’t think we could have altered the timing or any of the circumstances …the guilt is real. Thanks for the reassurance and validation, as well as the thoughtful explanation. It was very timely for me.
Lisa, thank you for sharing your story with me. I’m so very sorry for your acute loss. But I do know, even from the few words you shared here, that you did the right thing. Be at peace, my friend. May God comfort your heart. ?
I lost my friend, my rock, my heart on May 18th. Raisin was 14 1/2. The last several months of her life were a precious gift. I was working from home because of COVID-19. I was with her every day and it was wonderful. When she started to fail COVID-19 kept me from going in to her appointments with her. The guilt I feel is the final weekend I probably should have taken her to an Emergency Vet, but I knew they would not allow m e to be with her. So I waited until Monday morning, when my wonderful vet came out to the car to help her to cross. I told myself she would want me with her, but did I wait for me or her.
I miss her so much. And so does my boy., Reo. He’s grieving as much as I.
Dear Melody, I’m so sorry to hear of your loss. I know the grief is real, but I pray you’ll be able to reject the guilt. I know you made the best decision for Raisin that you could. What a blessing that she was able to pass in the comfort of her car with you by her side. ♥️ I pray that you and Reo will find comfort and healing.
I lost my Australian Shepherd 5 weeks ago. I went to the speciality vet hospital to have a laryngeal paralysis looked at. They took X-rays then had us come back the next day for an ultrasound and found suspected cancerous henantona sarcoma in her spleen and liver. The Vet said there was a 40% it may not be cancerous so I wanted to try the surgery. She had internal bleeding which she was absorbing. I decided as it was a long weekend to take her home just in case she didn’t make the surgery. This was a Friday. My son made it home on Sunday morning and she had fun seeing him. She was acting normally wanting to play but we could only do light play and no walking. She was mentally alert. By Sunday afternoon, she laid down and started having trouble breathing. We jumped in the SUV and drove 45 mins to the hospital. The vet gave her an opiod right away as she was bleeding internally and she told me she doubted she would make it the few hours in order to get the surgeon there and if so she would probably die on the table. I wanted her not to suffer so chose to put her to sleep. She was my first dog whom I had from 8 weeks old until she passed at 13yrs 2 months. My husband, son and myself went in to say goodbye. She was laying on the blanket so out of it she couldn’t move her muzzle. She had the iv in. I wanted to be able to hold her but couldnt. I was hugging her through the process then when she passed i broke down. I have always felt she wasnt even that aware i was even there. I still cry daily as i miss her so much. She was my shadow. The vet gave her one shot to go to sleep then the second one to stop her heart. I feel like she was just ripped out of my life as she really had no real symptoms. It was a terrible shock but i know i made the right decision and i am very grateful she didnt suffer.
Dear Kathy, I’m so very sorry for your loss. ? But I’m so encouraged by your last sentence. That’s such a beautiful focus–that you DID make the right decision, and that she did not suffer. Part of my career I spent as an emergency vet dealing with situations just like this. I have no proof, but I believe she knew you were there–your voice, your scent, your touch–I believe her nervous system knew your presence. May you find peace. She was obviously very very loved. ♥️
It was 2 yrs ago when we said goodbye to our little Shih Tzu, Daisy, at 20 years old. I still struggle with it. My head knew it was time but my heart still hasn’t caught up. Our vet was wonderful. She had known Daisy all her life and she cried too. It was the hardest decision I’ve ever had to make.
Oh, Rachel. I can’t imagine your grief in losing your Shih Tzu. She was obviously a huge part of your life and 20 is amazing. I really can appreciate the way you separate the way your head and heart felt about your choice. Well said! I know you did the right thing for Daisy. ♥️
Hi, this was very hard to read I have tearing flowing down my face . It’s only been a little over a year and a half that my husband and I had to have our Houndie to sleep. Houndie and our other young puppy tangled with a porcupine and he was messed up pretty bad from the quills and then finding out that he had testicular cancer. It was my husband , myself , daughter and grandson there when he was but to sleep, I was the one standing with him when our vet put him to sleep. We got a sympathy card form the vet , wasn’t expecting that
I’m so sorry for your loss, Brenda. Hounds are so so sweet and loyal; I can only imagine how special your bond was. I hope you take comfort in your precious memories together.
We lost our baby girl right before her 13 this birthday from a spontaneous pneumothorax. It was the hardest decision we ever had to make.
I’m so sorry, Jennifer. That’s such a tough diagnosis. Please accept my deepest sympathies in the loss of your baby girl.
I had to put down my 14 year old toy poodle. He was my shadow and it’s been one month and a week since I let him go and not a day goes by that I wonder if I did the right thing. Iherehis tags at night, I expect him to meet me st the door .I miss him so much it sickens me . ~ heart broken in Texas~
Oh, Teri, I’m so sorry that you are suffering from such profound grief. I’m sure that you did the right thing. Please take comfort in that. It doesn’t take away the pain of not having your toy poodle by your side, but I’m sure you gave him a selfless final gift in letting him go. Bless you. ♥️
My daughter and son-in-law had to put our dog (my grand dog) to sleep in April. I feel so guilty about not saying I would pay for more tests. I got laid off due to Covid-19 and I was concerned about finances. I feel like it’s my fault that he was put to sleep. I barely got to see him before it happened. We broke the quarantine rules and I got to spend 5 hrs with him on Sunday. Monday I met them at the vets for his appt and they took tons of blood and called my daughter saying that it would be for the best if he was put to sleep. They said it would have been thousand of dollars of for more comprehensive tests, but it would be for our benefit and not his. I was concerned about money so I agreed with their decision. I should have said no and have them run the tests. We took him in on Wednesday and my daughter was the only one allowed in the room with him. He was only 12 yrs old and we only had him for 4 yrs. his name was Darwin and he was a Beagle Basset. He is/was the love of my life. I still cry everyday blaming myself for his going to sleep. I had the capability of paying for the tests, but with not having a job I was concerned on how I would pay the bill. I’ll never stop blaming myself.
Diane, your comment made me cry. I’m so sorry that you are living with this guilt, and this is exactly why I wrote this post! If the vet said to you, “We could run more tests, but it’s for your sake, not his,” I guarantee you that means they thought it was the only fair thing to let him go. Every veterinarian wants their patients to live as long as possible. That’s why we sign up for the job! But we want our patients to live quality, pain-free lives, and it sounds like that was not possible for Darwin. I’m sure you did the kindest thing possible. Please don’t hold yourself responsible for this. I really don’t think that is fair or right. I will pray for you to find peace in your decision. ♥️
I had to have my babygirl kadie put to sleep cause of kidney failure she was only 8 she is a chihuahua and was the love of my life. She pulled me through some very dark times. I regret doing it they only used 1 shot. I never really knew for sure if she could still live comfortably but now she’s gone and I cant get over her it was Feb 1 2020. I miss her so much ..
Aww, Melissa, I’m so sorry to hear about your loss of Kadie. Kidney failure is a horrible disease that makes dogs (and cats) feel so bad. They essentially are being “poisoned” internally by toxins that the kidneys can’t filter out as they should. I am sure you gave her a final gift in letting her go. Please take comfort. ♥️
It’s been 1 month and 2 days since the loss of Bailey. She had just turned 10 on May 23rd. She was my shadow. A petite chocolate lab mix. Over the last year she had a couple bouts of pancreatitis that landed us at the ER. VIA ultrasound my vet thought there was a mass so we were referred to an internal medicine vet who felt it was only inflammation. She was also found to be B12 deficient. Things were mostly good until last month. That Monday night she was vomiting so Tues I took her in. Blood work showed 300 glucose so my vet wanted to recheck… Wed it was 700… ok Diabetes…just another hurdle. By the time I got home from work Thurs she couldn’t get up, labored breathing, bleeding from her rectum…. rushed her to ER… going into the ER she had a 50/50 chance… bloodwork dropped her chances to 20-30%… she was acidotic, still bleeding, fluid in her abdomen… How did we get to this point? We were at the vets a lot… what were me missing? what could I have done differently? A week before we were going for walks and car rides… ?
Lost my girl 8 weeks ago after she developed melanoma in her eye , she also developed soft tissue sarcomas. We removed her eye , 2 days later she started a rapid decline. My husband was also hospitalized during the early stages , before her surgery , I’m a floral designer and this was all during Mother’s Day week , and Covid19. My girl turned 7 during all this. So she wasn’t a senior dog. I have been so devastated, and feel so guilty that I had to work so much when she needed me .my husband was home , but she was my girl , my ❤️?
I’m so sorry that you lost your girl, Linda. It sounds like you had SO much on your plate. My husband’s mom owned a flower shop, so I understand what you went through at Mother’s Day, although I can’t imagine the stress COVID added to it all. I’m so sorry that you didn’t get to spend as much time with her as you would have wanted, but I hope that you will be able to let go of the guilt, knowing you did absolutely the best you could. You obviously loved her deeply and did a wonderful job caring for her. ♥️
Monday. I have a day and a half with my precious boy left.
Oh, Sherri. I’m so terribly sorry. You are certainly in my thoughts tonight. ?
We just lost our beloved golden retriever, Parker, last Sunday. She was twelve, which is comforting to know she lived a full happy life. We love and miss her quite a bit. She passed away at home and while the way she passed away was the best we could hope for with her (in her sleep). It is still pretty heartbreaking for us.
Dear Tina, I’m so sorry to read of Parker’s passing. Your tribute to her is beautiful. She was clearly very loved and was blessed to pass at home with the people she loved in complete peace and comfort. But I know it still hurts. May God comfort your heart. ♥️
My dog Zoey passed a month ago at 17. She was a miniature dachshund. She was diagnosed with meningioma. It was inoperable because of the location on the underside of her pituitary. It had been misdiagnosed and she had been diagnosed with IVDD without an x-ray. Well her behaviors, her pacing at night, her breathing, sleeping all day, her falling down, her restlessness were becoming more severe and she couldn’t control it. It’s as though the cancer had taken over her brain and brain stem. Zoey was impatient at the hospital for 2 day’s while they looked her over and did an MRI. Day 2, I received a call to hurry, and that Zoey was not doing well. Zoey was in a deep sleep and she was not aware I was there. They brought her to the car (due to COVID-19) and I spent time with Zoey. We were to euthanize Zoey in my car. When I was ready we proceeded and Zoey was given the first injection ;in her catheter) that would sedate her. We waited . The second injection; the euthanasia solution, (in her catheter) was administered, and we waited. The doctor listened and she did not pass, her heart was still beating so she jiggled the catheter and said Zoey, it’s okay to let go and moved the catheter around. Still nothing. The doctor looked at me and said my God Julie, Zoey is a strong girl. I was horrified to see that’ Zoey had lifted her head. I was so very upset. The doctor had to take her inside and administer more euthanasia solution and had one of her neurology techs hold Zoey while they told Zoey that it’s okay to let go and they told her that her mama loves her.
How am I ever supposed to deal with this? It’s replayed over and over.
This is my experience. I had another, much worse experience. I won’t talk about that right now.
Dear Julie, I’m so sorry to hear of your traumatic experience. You obviously did everything you could for Zoey, right to the very end, and gave her a wonderful lie. I don’t have a definitive answer as to what happened with her euthanasia, but I do find that dogs with brain disease often don’t process the euthanasia solution as expected. I would guess that her diagnosis and failure to go to sleep were directly correlated. I know that’s not a specific comfort, but please do take comfort in the fact that I think the process was peaceful and painless for her. I do believe you gave her the final gift that day and your vet did the best she could under the difficult COVID circumstances. I’m so sorry for your loss. I pray that you will be able to find peace with time. ♥️
On March 14 we put our beloved Harley to rest! We had made the decision a month before and had worked out the details with a loving service coming to our home so that she could be in a peaceful environment as well as all of us who would miss her dearly! We could not of asked for a kinder more peace Way to say goodbye to our dear girl! I have put three other dogs down before Harley all in a veterinary setting and I highly recommend a home euthanasia it makes a world of difference! We are sad without her but we know it was the best thing for her and especially right after the pandemic hit and we would’ve been very Worried about getting her medicine etc. in view of the conditions in our state! Thank you for giving me an opportunity to share this with all! I’ve enjoyed being on Dr. Busby‘s Email list and receiving all of the wonderful encouragement for our senior dog! Thank you again Deb Montoya
Thank you, Deb, for sharing your beautiful story. I completely agree that home euthanasia is the best case scenario for the dogs and their people. ♥️ I’m so sorry for your loss.
I appreciate this post on euthanasia. I also had two very different experiences with my two senior girls, both euthanized in the past year. One, (a 12 year old golden retriever) was euthanized following a catastrophic abdominal hemorrhage , causing her to collapse from shock. It was unexpected and sad, but professional and comfortable for both my dog and me. It was not a hard decision to make.
The other (a 15 yo Aussie) was “by appointment,” following months of falls, inappetence and weight loss, confusion and incontinence. When we arrived, they had a crummy old used. quilt on the floor in the “euthanasia room.” If I had known I would have brought her bed with me. My dog was clearly uncomfortable and so was I, sitting on the cold concrete floor. It took the vet about an hour to start and then finally complete this procedure.. She seemed uncomfortable, left the room multiple times and seemed to forget about us. She was distracted and asked me several times if I was sure about this decision.. By the time she finally finished, I could not stop crying; I was so upset at the situation. The worst is the regret that I let my sweet girl down in the final moments of her life. It was almost a year ago and I am tortured by the horrible memory.
Dear Kathy, I’m so very sorry to read your second story and how it haunts you. First, please know that you were so kind and selfless to make the decision to let your failing senior dog go. Second, I’m so thankful that even though the procedure took a while and was not as you’d have wanted, it sounds like you were able to be by your dog’s side the entire time, and I know that was comforting and reassuring to your dog. I sincerely do not believe you let your dog down in any way. May you find healing in this. I’m so sorry for your loss of both of your dogs. ?
When my family lost our beloved Doberman Sage at 12, it was a devastating loss for all of us, but my daughter was 14 and Sage had been her nanny, playmate, guardian, and best friend for nearly her whole life. Not grieving properly caused her emotional turmoil that continues still, six years later. Please, people, show compassion for others in their loss, and make sure that your kids deal with their own grief too.
Studies have shown that losing a pet can be more traumatic for people than losing a member of their extended family. The connections we have with our pets are deep and the grief is real. And thank you for pointing out how important it is to shepherd our children’s hearts through the loss. Prayers for healing for your family. ♥️
I lost Tucker in March, he was almost 9 years old, a large Newfoundland who had been having issues for months. getting up and down. I had a mobile vet out and he was on pain pills and other medication that wasn’t doing much, and told her if he went down for any reason would not put him through any more pain and make the choice for him not me. He went down in the back yard on a chilly rainy day. Had friends come over to help put him the car and take him to the emergency vets. The people there were so kind but it still hurt and I still cry thinking about him. My other Newfoundland was 11 on 2/1 and I worry about her every day.
Dear Dolores, I’m so sorry about your loss of Tucker. You did a great job navigating difficult decisions and doing what was best for him. I’m thankful to hear that you had a kind experience at the ER vet, but I know from personal experience how much it hurts. My God comfort your heart. ♥️
My Sheba earned her angel wings about 5 months ago. She was 15 and she was in a lot of pain from arthritis. Although it was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do, I knew it was time. Her eyes told the story and I honored her wish. My vet explained everything. When she administered the sedative, Sheba fell into a deep sleep, so deep that she was loudly snoring. After the second injection, she was gone in a matter of seconds. I really appreciated the kindness of my vet. I miss her terribly. BTW, she was wearing her Dr. Busby toe grips!
Sorry-my comma doesn’t seem to be working.
Dear Jan, I’m so sorry to read about your loss of Sheba. I’m so glad you knew it was her time and had peace in your decision. Your vet sounds wonderful. I know it was hard for her too. ? It’s so sweet that she crossed the rainbow bridge in her ToeGrips. Thank you for letting me know. Bless you. ♥️
I found your website and posts the day I had to let my Wiggles go. She was my first dog, my everything. She was 15 years young and she deteriorated one day to the next so I had no time to prepare. Turns out she had cancer and in hindsight she had been sick for a long time and had hidden it well and held on for who knows how long. I don’t feel guilty about letting her go because i know she couldn’t breathe and was suffering, my guilt comes from not being able to spend more time with her before she transitioned. They did the catheter and she went very quickly. She was blind and mostly if not all the way, deaf, but I still spoke to her and held her as she went. I’m absolutely devastes and feel so hopeless without her, almost with no purpose right now and can’t stop crying. I miss her terribly and don’t know what to do without her.
Please accept my sincerest sympathies in your devastating loss, VCR. I know how much it hurts. You were so wise and selfless to let Wiggles go when you did so that she did not suffer. May your precious memories together be a comfort. I’m so very sorry. ?
And even after multiple goodbyes, they never get easier, but a peaceful journey to your dog’s next chapter is truly a gift. Thanks for sharing these stories, and…I may have shared this with you before Dr. Julie 🙂 but one of my veterinarian’s made all the difference in the world to my husband and me when it was time to say good-bye to our precious Sunny-dog. Dr. Martin Small (who now himself is probably on that Rainbow Bridge getting multiple licks & kisses), listened to Sunny’s heart after the 2nd injection, and said, “She’s with the angels!” Just that thought, rather than hearing, “She’s gone,” made us smile through our tears and our hearts a little lighter.
Oh, Denise, you are so right. It never gets easier. ? Now that you mention it, you HAD shared that with me before, and I LOVE IT! Thank you for the reminder. ♥️
We let our 13 year old German Shepherd Pepper go about.6 months ago. Symptoms appeared to be degenerative myelitis. We went back and forth for weeks as to when to let her go. Not to say, he did not love her as much as I, but he wanted to do it many weeks before.
His tends to make analytical decisions about everything. He was right there with me tending for her needs and loving her, but it left it totally up to me to decide. She had a couple of really bad days, so I relented. As so many other times, she had a really good day the day of the appointment which made me want to cancel, but my husband c9nvinced me to go through with it. She had so much life in her eyes right up to the end. Even though, she could not walk without assistance, she would act like she was going to get up and chase the ball when we would throw it for our other gsd. We always tossed Pepper one so she felt like she was apart if the game since her favorite thing to do was to get the ball and keep our other gsd from getting it. Except for the distress from having to help her walk and cleaning her when she soiled herself, she was not in any pain or distress. Because of how content and happy she was, I feel like I should have held my ground. My mother passed away about a year before, but I had and still do have more of a hard time with Pepper’s passing which makes me have a whole other thing to feel guilty about. I am grateful that Pepper lived a full life and that we had those years with her.
Dear Sheree,
I am sorry for your loss of Pepper. I understand the heartache and grief that comes with saying goodbye to a beloved pup. It definitely sounds like you made the most loving and unselfish decision to free Pepper from her physical struggles and offer her peace and rest. I have no doubt she knew how much she was loved. I hope with time your heart will heal and you can allow yourself some grace with the guilt. May her memory be a blessing and follow you the rest of your days. ♥