Do Dogs Grieve? Helping Your Dog Cope With Loss

“Do dogs grieve?” It’s natural to wonder about this, especially if you have noticed some changes in your dear dog after the loss of a canine or human family member. To help answer that question, integrative veterinarian Dr. Julie Buzby invited end-of-life-care veterinarian Dr. Dawnetta Woodruff to the blog. Dr. Woodruff discusses grieving dog symptoms and provides heartfelt advice for helping your dog (and yourself) through the grieving process.

When talking about a dog’s end-of-life care, there are a lot of factors to consider. Is it time for your sweet friend to enter dog hospice care? How do you start preparing for your dog’s euthanasia? Will you know when to euthanize your dog? Should you go to your family veterinarian or plan an in-home dog euthanasia?

Plus, you may also have questions about grieving the loss of your dog. How will you and the rest of the family process that loss? Will your surviving dog(s) be sad? How will you know if your dog is grieving?

There’s no one-size-fits-all answer to questions about the timing of hospice or euthanasia and what is the best way to say that final farewell. And in the same way, grief is different for everyone (and every dog). But dogs do grieve. And as dog parents, it can be comforting and helpful to have some idea of how best to support and help a grieving dog in the midst of your own grief.

Do dogs grieve the loss of another dog?

After the death of a dog (or absence from the house for another reason), sometimes the remaining dogs seem to go about life as if nothing has changed. But, other times the dogs who are left behind act as though their entire life has been turned upside down—because it has been.

Some dogs will grieve for a short time and seem normal within a few days. Others will need weeks or even months to adjust and begin to find a new sense of normal. The loss of a companion changes so much about our lives and our routines, and it is no different for our dogs.

If you had two dogs who were a strongly bonded pair, the surviving dog may have more difficulty coping with loss than if you had two dogs who are “just roommates.” It is also common to see more intense grieving when the dog left behind is the only dog in the home. With two (or more) dogs, your canine family members may have an easier time coping since they still have a furry friend.

Do dogs grieve the loss of a human family member?

While not the main focus of this article, I did want to also mention that dogs may mourn the loss of a human family member. The missing person may have passed away. Or they may have simply moved out of your home.

When a couple goes through a separation or divorce, or when a young adult moves out on his or her own, dogs can be confused. They don’t know if the change is permanent or temporary. And they may have a hard time understanding the new living arrangement. This can cause them to respond very similarly to when someone in the family has died.

How do you recognize grieving dog symptoms?

After the loss of a dog or person, it is a good idea to watch carefully for signs of grief in the dogs left behind. Grieving symptoms can range from subtle to life-altering.

A 2022 Scientific Reports article surveyed 426 dog owners who had at least two dogs at the same time and lost one of them. The researchers discovered that for the surviving dogs:

• 67% increased their attention-seeking behaviors
• 57% played less
• 46% became less active
• 35% slept more
• 35% became more fearful
• 32% ate less
• 30% vocalized more often

In that study, 24.9% of dogs showed these signs of grieving for more than six months. The changes lasted for two to six months in 32.2% of dogs, and less than two months in 29.4% of dogs. The remaining 13.4% of dogs in the study didn’t show any noticeable signs of grieving.

Additional signs your dog is grieving

While not highlighted in that study, other signs your dog is grieving may include:

• Becoming a lethargic dog
• Restlessness
• Decreased or increased thirst in dogs
• Not wanting to go on walks
• Lack of interest in playtime
• Avoiding areas that smell like their deceased friend
• Spending a lot of time in their buddy’s old bed (or favorite place)
• Increased sleeping
• Change in sleeping patterns
• Sleeping or hiding in new places
• Pacing through the house
• Destructive behavior (e.g., chewing shoes, destroying toys, and damaging furniture)
• Hiding or avoiding human interaction
• Becoming very clingy and not leaving their human’s side
• Separation anxiety when left at home alone
• Shaking or becoming anxious in normal situations
• Complete unwillingness to eat
• Vomiting and/or diarrhea

What can I do to help my dog through his or her grief?

In many situations, it is possible to manage these symptoms of grief at home. Time and a lot of TLC can go far in helping your dog. More specifically, you may want to consider:

• Keeping your daily routines as close to normal as possible. This stability is helpful when such a big change has happened in your dog’s life.
• Giving your canine friend an abundance of extra love and praise.
• Encouraging your dog’s good behaviors and gently redirecting your dog if he or she is doing something concerning.
• Spending extra time snuggling, playing, walking, or going to your dog’s favorite places.
• Setting up regular play dates or joining friends for a walk in the park if your dog enjoys spending time with other dogs.

It may feel strange to spend time doing these fun things—as if you are “faking joy.” But finding ways to enjoy life in the midst of grief is helpful and important.

You are not forgetting your cherished companion who passed, or dishonoring him or her by smiling and enjoying moments of your day. Your departed dog would want you to be happy! And the quality time spent together will be good for you and your surviving dog.

What if the grief seems severe?

Sometimes though, your dog may need a bit more help to get through the grieving process. Or the stress of grieving might worsen or uncover an existing medical condition.

If your dog is experiencing destructive behavior, anxiety, shaking, crying, anorexia, vomiting or diarrhea, or other concerning symptoms, it is best to see your regular veterinarian right away.

Sometimes your dog may need a special diet, a bland diet for dogs, or an appetite stimulant for dogs. Or your furry friend may benefit from medications like Cerenia for dogs or omeprazole for dogs to help settle his or her stomach.

Additionally, your veterinarian may recommend calming chews or pheromones to help your pup relax and adjust. If this is not sufficient, your grieving pet may need to have prescription anti-anxiety medications to help him or her cope with the huge loss he or she has experienced. 

Often, your dog will only need medications for anxiety for a short time. They help your dog feel better while you establish a new routine and a new sense of normalcy. These medications are not a “crutch,” but rather a necessary tool that allows you and your dog to work toward recovery.

Can my dog grieve himself or herself to death?

However, not all mourning signs are related only to anxiety, sadness, and stress. Sometimes, dogs might experience more severe symptoms if they have an underlying medical issue. Grief itself will not cause a dog to develop a new disease or die. But stress can “unmask” a disease that is already present.

Early in the course of chronic illnesses such as kidney failure in dogs and heart disease in dogs, or in the beginning stages of endocrine diseases like diabetes in dogs, our dogs may not show many signs. But when dogs experience high levels of stress due to a huge life change, their condition can become unstable. And they may suddenly look quite ill (even though the disease is not actually new).

Therefore, if you have concerns that your dog’s grief is severe, or that your dog might be dealing with an underlying illness, it is always best to talk to your veterinarian. He or she can be a great partner in helping you and your dog through this difficult time.

What if my dog starts acting out?

Another problematic result of grief in dogs can be undesirable or damaging behaviors. It is well known that stress and anxiety can cause behavior changes in people. And the same goes for our cherished dogs. If your dog is grieving and becomes destructive or aggressive toward the other dogs, seems to forget his or her training, or has other behavior issues, you might need help from a professional.

As mentioned above, some dogs experiencing grief may need the help of calming chews, pheromones, or medication to decrease anxiety and promote a calm attitude. However, this is not a “one size fits all” fix.

In addition to (or in place of) medications and/or supplements, your dog may benefit from training classes or learning a new skill (such as scent work, dock diving, or agility work). This can be a wonderful outlet, as well as a great bonding experience for you and your pup!

Alternatively, you may decide to work one-on-one with a dog trainer or veterinary behaviorist. Be sure to find one who has good references, and who uses positive training methods (rather than punishment-based methods). An excellent trainer or behaviorist can be an invaluable resource! He or she can help you reinforce good behaviors and find ways to discourage the concerning actions.

Can my own grief worsen my dog’s grief?

Understandably, dog parents may also be concerned that their grief is making things harder for their dogs. After all, dogs are sensitive creatures who tend to be in tune with how you are feeling. And scientific studies do show that when their owners are stressed, dogs may show more evidence of stress themselves. They pick up on our facial expressions, tension in our bodies, and our own signs of grief.

However, this doesn’t mean you should try to hide your feelings from your dog. Rather, it indicates that taking steps to work through your grief has the added benefit of helping your grieving dog too.

You might find it helpful to read books or articles about pet loss. A few of my favorites include:

Adults:

• When Your Pet Dies: A Guide to Mourning, Remembering, and Healing by Alan D. Wolfelt, Ph.D.
• Coping with Sorrow on the Loss of Your Pet by Moira Anderson Allen, M.Ed.

Children:

• My Pet Died:  A Coloring Book for Grieving Children by Alan D. Wolfelt, Ph.D.
• When a Pet Dies by Fred Rogers

Or maybe you would prefer to join a support group online or attend a local pet-loss meeting. Talking one-on-one with a counselor can help you process your loss too. Additionally, it can be healing to find a personal way to honor the memory of your departed dog. I have compiled a list of 10 dog memorial ideas that can provide a great starting point.

If you need a nudge in the right direction, remind yourself that taking care of yourself and finding healthy coping mechanisms will not only help you—it will help your surviving dog cope as well!

Should I get another dog to help my grieving dog?

As you and your dog work through your grief, friends or family members may suggest getting another dog. They mean well. But it is up to you to decide if you are ready for another love in your life. And you have to factor in how it will impact your surviving dogs too.

Each set of circumstances is different. And the relationship you have with each dog is unique. So it is understandable that each time you say goodbye, the timeline for adopting a new dog will likely be different too.

You may feel ready right away. Or you may feel like you will never be ready to adopt a dog again. What was right for your friend, or what felt best to you last time, may not be best for you this time around. No one but you will know when the time is right—and there is no “perfect” time.

Factoring in your dog’s opinion

As for your surviving dogs, their situation is unique too. They may enjoy having more of your time and attention, and feel at ease with one less dog in the home. Or, your dog may seem to be looking for his or her buddy constantly. In this case, he or she may benefit from the companionship of another friend right away.

Many shelters and rescues will allow you to bring your dog along to meet a potential adoptee. This is a good way to see if your dog responds well to the possibility of a new friend. Some organizations will even allow you to have a “trial adoption” for a couple of days. While it can take time for a new canine family member to settle in, a trial period may give you some helpful insights regarding timing, and how compatible a new dog might be.

Please know, adding a new dog to your home is never replacing the dog you said goodbye to. He or she was a special part of your family, and can never be replaced! But sharing your home and your love with a new dog can be a wonderful way to honor the life of your past companion, and to help you and your surviving dog work through your grief.

You and your dog can make it through the grieving process

Grief is a complex emotion, and there is no right way to navigate loss. You and your remaining dog will likely have a roller coaster of good days, bad days, and indifferent days. Be gentle with yourself, and be patient with your canine family member. You are each doing your best in the middle of a difficult time.

Patience and love go a long way toward helping you recover. Seek help from those who have your best interests at heart. And don’t hesitate to reach out to veterinary professionals, behavior experts, and counselors. The journey may be long, but there is support available when you need it.

How did you support your grieving dog while you were grieving yourself?

Please provide tips or words of comfort for other dog parents.