If your grey-muzzled companion is in the end-stages of dementia in dogs, when to euthanize him or her may be a question that weighs heavily on your mind. To help give you some measure of peace and clarity, integrative veterinarian Dr. Julie Buzby invites Dr. Dawnetta Woodruff to the blog. As a veterinarian who specializes in end-of-life care, Dr. Woodruff is the perfect person to address this difficult decision with compassion and understanding.
Maybe you have a senior dog who is “just not himself” or “just not herself” lately. He or she paces the house, seems confused, pants a lot, barks at normal noises, and may even look at you as if you are a stranger. You may wonder what could possibly be wrong, and how do you manage it?
There are a variety of conditions that could be the culprit. However, the most likely explanation is that your dog might be dealing with dementia, a condition which affects 68% of dogs by 16 years of age. While it can’t be cured, there are some things you can do to help your dog continue to have a good quality of life. However, eventually the time may come when you need to consider when to euthanize a dog who has dementia.
What is dementia in dogs?
Very few diseases are as frustrating and difficult to manage as canine dementia, which is also called canine cognitive dysfunction (CCD). When examined microscopically, the brain of a dog with dementia looks identical to the brain of a human with Alzheimer’s disease. And like Alzheimer’s patients, dogs with CCD suffer a decline in their cognitive function. Many advances are being made in treating both diseases, but there is currently no cure.
The earlier the veterinarian and dog owner start treatment, the better the dog will respond. However, in order to start treatments early, a dog must have an early diagnosis. There is no specific blood test or other lab work that can give you an official “yes or no.” Instead, your veterinarian will diagnose CCD based on the symptoms your dog is showing.
Signs of dementia
It is important to consult with your vet if you think your dog may be starting to show any of these signs of dementia:
Disorientation
- Pacing
- Appearing lost
- Staring into space
- Acting confused
- Wandering room to room
- Getting “stuck” in a corner
Interaction changes
- No interest in seeing family
- Doesn’t play with other pets in the home anymore
- Acting very aloof or very clingy
- New aggression toward family members or other pets
Sleep issues
- Sleeping more or less than normal
- Restless sleep
- Pacing at night
- Days and nights mixed up
- Senior dog anxiety at night
House Soiling
- Finding urine or feces in the home when your dog used to be fully housetrained
- Urinating or defecating in front of the owner inside
Altered Activity
- No longer interested in playing, taking walks, or being groomed
- Doesn’t recognize learned commands
For a more in-depth look at how these signs present, please read my article that specifically covers the signs of dementia in dogs.
Also, to help guide a conversation with your dog’s veterinarian, you can print off a canine cognitive dysfunction checklist and take it with you to your dog’s next vet visit.
How can you help a dog with dementia?
If your veterinarian diagnoses your dog with dementia, there are many things you can do to hopefully slow the progression of the disease and reduce the symptoms. Keeping the routine as predictable as possible can be very helpful for your dog. A regular feeding time, a regular sleep schedule, and predictable time for play can be stable anchors within your dog’s confusing day.
Rotating favorite toys in and out of the dog’s toy box, adding puzzle toys, and spending extra time going on walks (or stroller rides) for mental stimulation can help your dog feel more like himself or herself. Interestingly, a study from the University of Washington titled Evaluation of Cognitive Function in the Dog Aging Project: Associations with Baseline Canine Characteristics indicated that dogs who were not active were 6.47 times more likely to develop CCD than dogs who were very active. So regular activity may boost brain health!
Spending a few minutes each day reviewing familiar commands can also be grounding for your dog. Reinforcing well-known behaviors (like sit and stay) can increase healthy brain activity. Plus, it may help your dog remember other things as well! As an extra bonus, those training sessions help to strengthen the bond you have with your dog. This is especially important with cognitive decline.
Additional treatment options
In addition to these environmental modifications, your vet may recommend various supplements, foods, or medications. Supplements like omega-3 fatty acids for dogs and Senilife® are available without a prescription. They may help promote brain health and reduce behaviors associated with brain aging. Two prescription diets, Hill’s® Prescription Diet® b/d Canine for “brain aging care” and Purina® Neuro Care, and one over-the-counter (OTC) dog food, Purina® Bright Minds, can also be helpful.
As the disease progresses, you may need prescription medications to help with some of the more bothersome symptoms.
- Some dogs may benefit from Selegiline (Anipryl®), a medication designed to help control some of the clinical signs of CCD.
- At first, the OTC supplement melatonin for dogs might help a dog sleep at night. (For safety, always double check that the melatonin supplement, especially if it is gummies, does not contain xylitol (i.e. birch sugar), which is toxic for dogs.) But when melatonin is no longer effective, your vet may wish to prescribe a sedative to help your dog get appropriate rest.
- Supplements like Anxitane® or Zylkene® can help with mild anxiety. However, when the problem worsens, your dog may need prescription medications like Trazodone or Alprazolam to relax during the day.
What does the progression of CCD look like?
The most troublesome symptoms often start with subtle changes. But as they progress in severity, a dog’s quality of life (QOL) can be greatly diminished. For example:
- Getting stuck in the corner once every few days might be bothersome. But when it happens 5 to 10 times a day, the stress can be immeasurable.
- An occasional puddle of urine or pile of stool might be easy to clean up. But when your dog is soiling the carpet or the bed multiple times a day, it can be frustrating and upsetting to both of you.
- When your dog occasionally paces the house for a few minutes at night, you can both go back to sleep quickly. But when the pacing lasts for hours, and neither of you is able to sleep, you can both have increased stress and decreased overall health.
Not only does your dog’s quality of life decline, but you are constantly worrying and running on an empty tank. Your stress level is high. And you don’t feel like you have the energy or the patience to give your dog the love and care he or she needs, and you wish to provide. As the dementia worsens, the precious bond you share with your dog can begin to break…and that is the last thing either of you wants to happen.
How will you know if it’s time to euthanize your dog who is suffering from dementia?
Maintaining the human-animal bond should the most important goal at the end of any dog’s life. Dogs adore their human family more than anything else in their lives! So when they are unable to recognize their loved ones, or when the bond has been broken due to mutual stress, anxiety, and lack of sleep, the time has come to set them free from their struggles. Whenever the deep bond between human and dog is broken, there is no longer any quality of life. At that point, it may be the kindest decision to put down a dog.
It is incredibly difficult to consider euthanasia for your canine family member. But it is also incredibly difficult to watch him or her struggle through each day, confused, anxious, and exhausted. Caring for any dog at the end of his or her life is difficult. But perhaps caring for a dog with dementia is the most heart-wrenching.
You wish to be able to comfort your dog, but the old familiar comfort measures no longer work. And when your dog doesn’t even recognize you, your presence no longer brings the comfort it once did. You want to give your dog everything he or she needs, but your time and energy is spread thin.
This is very normal, and frustration is an expected response to a very stressful situation. But it often causes caregivers to feel isolated, lonely, and guilty. Giving up sleep, cleaning up after your dog many times every day, bathing him or her often, and having your beloved senior dog lash out at you in frustration and fear can leave you feeling overwhelmed and exhausted.
Your precious old dog needs an abundance of patience, love, and nursing care. That can be difficult to provide, even for the most loving and devoted person.
Euthanasia is a beautiful and selfless decision
Considering euthanasia can sometimes feel like a selfish decision. “I don’t want to euthanize her just because she’s hard to care for!” is something that I hear often from distraught pet owners. But every time I hear those words, I hear them coming from a family member who loves their dog deeply and is making a heart-wrenching decision in order to end their dog’s struggles. That is the opposite of selfish—it is selfless.
I remind families that you’re not choosing euthanasia because your sweet dog is hard to care for. Rather you realize that your dog’s life has grown so difficult that he or she is no longer happy. You don’t want to see your dog get any worse. So, you are choosing to provide your dear companion an escape from his or her mental and physical pain. You are focusing on your dog’s quality of life above all else, and (while it is incredibly difficult) that is a kind and beautiful decision.
Resources for navigating the end of your dog’s life
As you wrestle with this difficult decision of when to euthanize your precious dog with dementia, some of these articles may also help bring you some peace:
- In-Home Dog Euthanasia: Heartfelt Answers to 12 FAQs
- Preparing for Your Dog’s Euthanasia: 10 Thoughts for Peace
- Dog Euthanasia: Knowing When to Say Goodbye
- How Will You Know When It’s Time to Euthanize Your Dog? 5 Caring, Heartfelt Messages
- Grieving the Loss of a Dog After Euthanasia (& Finding Peace)
How did you know it was time to euthanize your dog with dementia?
Please share your experiences as a way to honor your dog’s legacy and help other dog parents who are facing this heart-breaking decision.
Tomorrow I’ll bring my pet to the vet to let her go in piece 🙁
She is a 15 year old Shihtzu named Princess. She started showing dementia symptoms a year ago, in march we brought her to the vet because she was struggling to walk, and they told us the diagnosis and we already knew something was off. At first was she Really hungry all the time, and would do things that stress us like going to the kitchen when we were cooking and pursuing our feet or looking if food was dropped. And when we tried to tell her to step back because we could step on her accidentally, she wouldn’t pay attention and continuously do it until we stressed out. I feel bad now because I would get mad and push her back. But when I noticed it was a behavior change and something was probably going wrong with her we purchased a play pen to keep her there when we were cooking. After that symptoms, everything got worse and worse. She started becoming anxious, pacing a lot, and at night she would not sleep, pacing and crying. It is very sad looking at her like that. When we got her to the vet in march she was already acting very bad and sad, didn’t recognize us, didn’t want us to touch her. She used to love to cuddle but now when I tried to do that she would became so anxious, stressed and upset, and wanted to let her go. she also would make a mess with her food and water, today I cleaned the house and found lots and lots of her food everywhere because she couldnt eat and drink properly. So we told the vet all of these and she asked us if she was eating, and by that time she did had appetite and could walk to her plate and eat even tho she made a mess, so she told us that when she stops doing that then we could think about euthanasia.. I really think she was already suffering but if she said that and she’s the professional, we have to do what we were told. Now she’s really thin so I think she was not eating much, just making a mess because she couldnt eat. We can’t have her around the house anymore because she gets stuck too many times and we were afraid that when no one is in the house she would get stuck and die from accident. So we kept her in the playpen for the past week. I don’t know how much time she hasn’t been eating properly because she’s really skinny, because of her hair I couldn’t notice until I groomed her. Her back legs won’t work anymore, she seems so confused and stressed. I have to give her food and water because she can’t stand to eat and drink anymore. And that’s why I made that decision. I don’t want her to die from hunger, or keep suffering like that ☹️ it’s been a long time since she is looking so sad, anxious and depressed. I can’t see her like that anymore. I hope tomorrow the vet agrees to euthanize her. I think is the best decision right now since she is basically not living, just existing. I hugged her tonight, kissed her and cried a little. She seems so weak that now she don’t have the strength to try to go away from me, and when I pet her she stays still. It’s very sad ☹️ my baby, Ill miss her a lot.
Dear Adalis,
My heart aches for you with your recent loss of Princess. It is obvious she was dearly loved and very lucky to have had you taking such good care of her. You made a loving sacrifice to allow your own heart to break so that your girl didn’t’ have to needlessly suffer. I hope her passing was peaceful and smooth. Wishing you comfort and healing for your heart. Bless you. ♥
This article has been very helpful for me. Last year, we had to say goodbye to our Shih Tzu – Stanley. He was 17, and I didn’t even know doggy dementia was a diagnosis. He had some arthritis, and couldn’t hear, but when he started barking incessantly, I called the vet, and was told that it was probably dementia. It was awful watching him, and we decided it was in his best interest to not have him suffer – the vet agreed. I still miss him. At the time, I thought “He made it to 17, our girl probably has a couple more years” she was 15. Early this year, I noticed her having trouble walking, so asked the vet about it. He took x-rays which showed severe arthritis in her spine. She doesn’t hear well, and doesn’t see well. A couple of months later, I noticed the same signs that Stanley had. She has progressively worsened, and now seems to forget why she is outside at potty time, she wasn’t pooping normally and I realized that she wasn’t running to work out a BM. I started feeding her some canned food so that will HAVE to go. She used to LOVE her walks, and over this year no longer wants to do that. I have to keep puppy pads on the floor. She has never minded when we were gone – even after Stanley passed, but now I see when we come home that she is sitting staring at the door. When my husband leaves, she stares at the door, and if I leave the room to do something in another part of the house, she starts pacing looking for me. In the past couple of weeks, she loses interest in her night snack (Rice Chex), and she has always been a food maniac. My husband and I decided in the past month that it is really her time to cross the bridge – she is now 16 and has had a good life. I am still having a hard time coming to terms with this because she still eats and drinks. However, I know that she is not the happy dog that I used to have and I don’t want her to get as bad as Stanley did. We have an appointment early in October, and I think our vet will agree with me – he stated earlier this summer that he would if we felt she had worsened. I know that she has had a long life, but boy – it was sure easier when my sister’s dog had heart and kidney issues and you could just tell by looking at him that he was suffering. I have to trust that I am doing the right thing – and I think that was reinforced just yesterday when Maggy (the dog) had to stay with my sister overnight and had a HORRIBLE time. While there, their neighbor who doesn’t know my dog said “That dog is really having a hard time walking!” I guess an unrelated party helps confirm. Still feeling a little guilty though. When we take her to the vet, I will tell her to go find Stanley and have a blast! Thanks for your article – it was the best I found online as I was trying to come to terms with this.
Dear Doris,
My heart aches for you as you face these final days with Maggy. I can only imagine how much you miss your beloved Stanley and that Maggy’s passing will bring strong emotions as well. You are making the ultimate sacrifice of love to allow your own heart to break so that your girl doesn’t have to suffer needlessly. Praying for strength and comfort as you navigate this difficult path. Bless you and your family. ♥
Thank-you for this article. I have a westie Payton 16 years. He has a great appetite, drinking water, no accidents in the house. However he is disoriented, he has poor vision, hearing. Still very cuddly. My heart aches, he is like family I love him so much, We as a family think it is time, this decision for me is heart wrenching, I am the last one to agree putting him down, but I don’t want him to suffer. Any words of wisdom.
Dear Cece,
I understand how difficult it can be to make the choice to say goodbye to a beloved pup. You have to trust your intuition as you know your boy better than anyone. If you think Payton is merely existing instead of truly living, it may be time to let go. It is ok to say goodbye before all joy is lost and the only thing that remains is pain. I would rather say goodbye one day too early than one day too late and allow unnecessary suffering. Hoping you can find the advice you need to make the best choice for everyone involved. Praying for clarity and strength as you navigate this emotional path. ♥
Cece ty so much for your comment..I have a bulldog that just turned 12 and I am dealing with the exact same thing as you. I made the decision to do the inevitable at 10:30 this morning and my heart is broken. I really needed to read your comment
Dear Stacy,
I am so sorry for the loss of your senior pup. May the memories of all the good times you shared stay with you always. Bless you. ♥
Thank you so much for this article. I am going to try Senilife…it has good reviews. I have a 17 year old doxie who is completely my furbaby. I know she has some dementia, very deaf and somewhat blind. I know she is a shadow of my fun, toy loving little girl that I raised from a 10 week old puppy. I adopted her and her litter mate together so many years ago. We lost our Jennie about 2 years ago but Millie was doing well. She sleeps most of the day, sometimes looks at me and you can see the wheels turning in her head as trying to figure out who I am. Her blood work come out ok or on the cusp of kidney issues, etc, but she is on no medication. So physically she is ok, but her mental deterioration is obvious. She always wanted to be petted and on my lap or on the chair next to me, but she shies away from that now. I know in my heart that it won’t be long before I will have to make one of the hardest decisions of my life. This article is very helpful, is bookmarked and I appreciate all your tips. Thank you again from Millie and myself.
Hi Kathleen,
My heart goes out to you as you spend these final days with Millie. What a blessing you have spent 17 wonderful years together. Try to make the most of the time you are gifted and find joy in each day. Praying for comfort and strength as you navigate this emotional path. Bless you and your sweet girl. ♥
I am really struggling with my decision in relation to my 17 year old Jack Russell Pixie. Vet has confirmed she has dementia and she is pretty much blind. She is also wobbly on her back legs when she stands still. She still has a great appetite and also sleeps through the night. I am not sure that she recognises me anymore as her affectionate nature has disappeared. She is having urinary accidents on the kitchen floor. I am torn as to what to do. She seems quite physically healthy but it’s like her little personality has disappeared.
Dear Brigid,
I am sorry Pixie is having trouble with her mental function. I understand how difficult it can be to truly evaluate quality of life when physically everything seems to be going well. I do think mental disease causes just as much suffering (if not more) as physical disease. I will attach links to other articles with more information and great advice from other readers. Hoping you can find the guidance you need to make the best choice for your sweet girl. Prying for strength and clarity. ♥
1. Using a Quality of Life Scale for Dogs
2. How Will You Know When It’s Time to Euthanize Your Dog? 5 Caring, Heartfelt Messages
3. Dog Euthanasia: Knowing When to Say Goodbye
Our sweet boy Oscar is a 14-year-old Shih-Tzu/Pekingese. My wife and I have discussed scheduling the final act of love.
Oscar had Cushing’s and takes 10 mg of medicine three times per day. He’s also been struggling with skin allergies, and perhaps, an underlying infection that comes and goes. Oscar is mostly deaf and severely vision impaired. His days and nights seem to be mixed up. He is anxious in the evenings and paces, and he is clingy. Oscar also appears stiff at times with a limp.
Oscar does have times of seemingly normal behavior. And a recent checkup indicated a good heart and lungs.
We know it doesn’t get better from this point, as sweet-looking and personable as he still is. Additionally, we are concerned that he will become a hazard to himself.
Hard decisions. We don’t like any of it, though there is merit to a selfless act like this to preserve Oscar’s dignity and prevent future regrets (if he were to get injured or extremely sick due to his conditions).
Thank you for the post.
Dear Nick,
I am sorry Oscar’s health is starting to decline and he is struggling with symptoms of dementia. It sounds like you are paying close attention to his quality of life and will ensure he doesn’t have to suffer needlessly. He is a lucky boy to have you taking such good care of him. I know end of life decisions are emotional and very hard to think about. I am sure you will do what is best for your boy when the time comes, even if it breaks your heart. Praying for your strength and comfort as you face the difficult days ahead. Bless you and Oscar. ♥
Thank you so much for posting this article.
Hugo is a 15 year old poodle mix…deaf, poor vision, heart issues, tracheal collapse, and cognitive issues. He is just not the same dog. He no longer plays with my other dog or toys. He is no longer comfortable sitting on my lap yet follows me so closely when walking around the house that he is always underfoot. Gets stuck in corners. He does not enjoy walks and often pees and poops in the house. He appears to have sundowners pacing the house every evening until passing out from exhaustion. Neither of us are sleeping much because of the coughing and then he wakes around 3-4 AM to go outside to potty, then paces until he is fed.
Reading the comments I see that many pet parents are facing the same difficult decision as I have been struggling with for the past month. Just reading these heartfelt letters and your responses is so helpful. The behavior that keeps me from making the decision is his strong obsessive appetite. He seems hungry all the time. He jumps up and bites my hand when I offer a treat. Seeing the letters that other pets have exhibited this same behavior is such a a relief. My Vet and I have discussed end of life issues, but I still feel a bit selfish because he can still walk, jump on the sofa, and eat and eat and eat.
Dear Jeanne,
I am so sorry Hugo’s cognitive function is declining and you are facing this difficult situation. It is ok to let go before all joy is lost and the only thing that remains is anxiety and suffering. While I am grateful he still has a good appetite, I am not sure that a willingness to eat equates to a good quality of life. I hope you can find the advice you need to make the best choice for you and your sweet boy. Wishing you clarity and comfort as you find your way forward. Bless you and Hugo. ♥
This has been the hardest last couple of days.
Stewie is my 15-year-old Jack Russell Chihuahua. A few years ago, I would skateboard down the street, holding his leash, with my little buddy running beside me. I had to stop doing this a few years ago because of his age, and I didn’t want to cause him any pain. He still loved his walks, though.
In the last couple of months, he’s been diagnosed with dementia. While the symptoms have been there for over a year, they are getting worse. He paces, barks at nothing, constantly whines, gets stuck in corners, sleeps most of the day, gets confused, stares, and frequently urinates in the house, even though he only had two accidents (my fault for being gone too long) before dementia. Now he’s uninterested in those walks he so loved, which breaks my heart.
He’s always been an anxious dog when I’m not around, but now it’s really bad. My fiancée sent me a clip of him screaming bloody murder when I was gone for a couple of hours. I have him on trazodone, which helps the anxiety, but I feel if he could talk, he would tell me this is not how he wants to live. He’s also developed this constant cough that crushes my soul when I see him do it. We’ve been the best of pals (ugh, here come the waterworks) since the day I got him, but it’s really hard to see him like this.
I don’t know if I’m selfishly keeping him alive because putting him down is going to be the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I can’t imagine my life without him. Everyone around me tells me he’s not the same, and it’s hard to see him like this. He doesn’t even recognize my mom anymore, whom he adored. He still knows who I am, as he constantly comes up and sniffs my leg, and tries to find me if I’m not next to him.
It’s hard for me to admit this, but I don’t think he’s living a quality life, especially the active one we shared together for his entire life.
My vet said he’s not suffering or in any pain, which I’m thankful for, but I think it would make this easier if he was. Everyone around me is being honest and tells me it’s time, but of course, it’s my decision. I appreciate the honesty.
As of right now, I’m leaning toward euthanasia (more waterworks). I keep thinking he’s miraculously going to snap out of it and be my little crazy buddy again, but I know that’s not reality.
Any tips or advice would be helpful.
Dear Dennis,
My heart goes out to you as you face this emotional decision for Stewie. It is clear he is a big part of your life, and I can only imagine how difficult it will be without him by your side each day. While saying goodbye is devastating, I would rather let go one day too early than one day too late and allow unnecessary suffering. I cannot imagine a more selfless act of love than to allow your own heart to break so that Stewie can find peace and rest. Praying for your strength as you navigate this hard path. Bless you and your sweet boy. ♥
Many of these stories gave me strength so I wanted to share mine, which might help others. I put my baby down a few days ago, he was 19, a chihuahua. I noticed signs of dementia about a year ago, where he would stare at walls and look confused. I was able to self-diagnose him and a vet confirmed it. It progressed from blank wall staring to constant pacing for hours on end, and no matter how we tried we couldn’t calm him enough to just sit and rest. One day I counted 9 hours of nonstop walking. He did get stuck in corners and behind doors at times. He had a HUGE appetite, it seemed he started to look for food 24/7 as soon as dementia really set in – up to that point he’d been a light eater. And he got “sundowners’ where he’d cry all night while I tried to sleep. We eventually gave a low-dose of Gabapentin and that helped 100% to put him to sleep every night. We just gave the Gabapentin at night so he wasn’t drugged during the day.. Even at 19, he was completely disease-free except the dementia. He probably could have gone on longer but arthritis started to harm his gait and ability to stand/walk so I made the devastating decision to let him go. I had zero experience with dementia before this and apparently it closely mimics Alzheimer’s in humans and it’s hard hard hard. Hard to watch in your beloved pet and hard to manage, but I did for about a year. I’m at peace with letting him go when I did and it was hard — to watch my smart boy go crazy like this. He was very quiet his whole life and even with dementia didn’t vocalize much so we assumed the pain level was low (probably not in hindsight, but…) Oddly, he did remember many things, like how to wait for treats and how to wait for a walk. and where food and water dishes were (he was blind and deaf) so even in the midst of severe dementia the mind definitely retained/retains training, which was fascinating to see. I hope my story helps someone and I send hugs and strength to pet parents dealing with dementia.
Dear Kristy,
My heart aches for you with the recent loss of your beloved pup. Thank you for being willing to share your story with us. It will most definitely offer support and encouragement to others as they try to navigate this difficult path. It is clear your boy was dearly loved, and I am certain he knew. May his memory stay with you always and continue to be a blessing in your life. ♥
Dr. Buzby,
Thank you so much for all the articles you write! They are a constant resource, helping us navigate our way through life with senior dogs.
Sadly our 14 year old Pomeranian mix, Oscar, is just not the dog he used to be. For years he’s had a bone spur in his left elbow but as he’s gotten older he now has back and hip pain. In fact, he’s fairly wobbly in the back end. His hearing has been bad for a while and his sight was slowly deteriorating too, but in the last couple of weeks his sight has gone. As a result he bumps into things.
For the past several months he’s been pacing or is generally awake at night and once the clock hits 3:45-4:ooam, he’s up. He’s often thirsty or needs to go outside to do his business but unfortunately once he’s up, that’s it. He has a voracious appetite and is almost obsessed with eating. He will not stop panting and pacing until he eats. Once he eats, he crashes in his favorite spot on the cool bathroom floor in front of his fan. He basically sleeps all day. He’s never been a super affectionate dog or much into toys, but he’s even less interested now. We bought a doggie stroller hoping he’d enjoy walks and recently we’ve taken him on a couple of trips, but he doesn’t seem to enjoy any of it. I can certainly understand that if you can’t see anything, it must be confusing and scary. Our vet is sure dementia is part of what’s going on. We’ve had some accidents in the house but he does still seem to understand that going outside is the normal thing to do. That said, I pick him up and take him outside regularly.
He is on Carprofen and Amantadine (which I read about in one of your articles) twice a day and I’m going to try Trazodone tonight to see if it might help him sleep (and me!).
I think about the inevitable every day but knowing when is the hardest part. We don’t want to do it too soon and we certainly don’t want to do it too late. Selfishly I want there to be a clear sign that it’s time. It’s difficult because he has such a great appetite but the question is whether eating and sleeping all day constitutes a great quality of life. Maybe if the Trazodone helps him sleep, he’ll have a bit more energy during the day? We’ll see. I feel like I have to try everything possible.
We would be grateful for any thoughts you have. Thank you for your compassion and expertise.
Dear Ashley,
My heart aches for you as you face this difficult situation with Oscar. It sounds like you are doing everything you can to maintain his quality of life. But I agree, I am not sure a willingness to eat and the ability to sleep equals a good life. It is ok to let go before all joy is lost and the only thing that remains is pain. I would rather say goodbye one day too early than one day too late and allow unnecessary suffering. I hope the trazodone will offer the benefits you seek. Praying for answers and a clear path forward. Bless you and your sweet boy. ♥
I need some help and guidance. I’m struggling. I have a 16-year-old bichon poodle who I rescued back in 2009. He wasn’t abuse case he was always very active traveled with us head out the window, screaming, and yelping, barking and lunging at cars and bikes and trucks, he is older up until about eight months ago. He used to do all of that above that all changed now he doesn’t so much to say a word he walks in circles all day long his vision is very diminished. I think he sees shadows, but I don’t think too well While he circling his back legs out, but he has also been diagnosed with spinal issues his whole life. He’s been on and off medication when we walk on the leash a little bit sometimes when he goes from the sidewalk to the grass is eating and he is drinking although I do have to pick him up and take him over to his bowl and then he eats. I put his treats down because of his constant circling. He loses them but eventually find them when I put him down at night sleep, he does sleep most of the time. I should also stay. He has kidney disease he’s on special food. I’ve had to put a diaper on him during the day because he will have accidents and sometimes he has bowelAccidents as well. He has no interest in playing or anything else however, when I do pick him up immediately, his head goes back and he goes to sleep anytime I do that that’s what happens. I am struggling if I should put him down or not, but the circling is all day long. I’m a teacher so I’m going back to work in two weeks. He does get stuck in furniture and sometimes, get stuck in a corner and I have to redirect him. I don’t want him suffering. I have lack of sleep because he does get up at three or four go out. I should say he wakes up and then I wake up he does not signal to me in anyway I just need some advice and some guidance on this issue thank you and my name is Tucker and my name is Cheryl .
Dear Cheryl,
My heart aches for you as you try to navigate this difficult situation with Tucker. Being a fulltime caregiver to a senior pup with dementia is HARD. I know you want to do what is best for your beloved boy, and honestly with what you describe, saying goodbye may be the most loving option. It sounds like his days are filled with confusion, anxiety, restlessness, lack of sleep, and loss of joy. Offering him freedom from his struggles is a gift only you can give. I will attach links to other articles with more information and guidance. Praying for your strength and for clarity. Bless you and your sweet boy. ♥
1. Using a Quality of Life Scale for Dogs
2. How Will You Know When It’s Time to Euthanize Your Dog? 5 Caring, Heartfelt Messages
3. When Caring For A Sick Pet Becomes Too Much: Pet Caregiver Fatigue
4. Preparing for Your Dog’s Euthanasia: 10 Thoughts for Peace
Thank you for your reply Dr. Buzby. Ironically, I am just seeing your reply today but we came to the same conclusion you offered about Oscar’s quality of life. His pacing worsened since I first wrote and while the Trazodone helped at night, having to knock him out to sleep seemed crazy. His mobility was declining further too.
We said goodbye yesterday. It was the most difficult and painful decision we’ve ever made but we feel 100% that it was the right one. We had an amazing, peaceful at-home euthanasia and while we are shedding many tears, we know our sweet boy is at peace.
Thank you again for sharing your knowledge and compassion. It is invaluable.
Dear Ashley,
I am so sorry for your loss of Oscar. I know it was hard to let go but agree it was the most loving option. Thank you for the kind words and sharing your story with us. Praying for comfort and peace as your heart begins the healing process. May Oscar’s memory stay with you always. ♥
Thank you for the article, my wife and I are going through similar things with our dog, Peanut. She is 13 and she started to struggle over the past few months as she lost sight in her left eye. But more than that, she paces around the house and we’ve had to close off certain sections as she will wander aimlessly and get stuck in areas that she has known her entire life.
What makes it even harder is that it doesn’t seem that she recognises us anymore. She used to love to play, but not being able to see has all but eliminated that. It’s clear she has cognitive issues that make things tough for her and us.
She doesn’t seem to be having pain, but we tried meloxicam and even tried Gabapentin to try to relive her anxiety. Nothing seems to work.
We don’t have children and she has been our baby for these 13 years. It has been stressful for all of us, but we know that it is time to let her go as we don’t want to see her suffer. It is so hard to see her in her current state knowing how loving and active she’s been. We have always loved her with all of our heart and always will and will miss her terribly. We are going in to the vet this Friday as it’s time.
Love them every day as they love you….unconditionally and with all of your heart.
Dear Randy,
My heart goes out to you with your recent loss of Peanut. It is clear she was dearly loved, and I am certain she knew how much she meant to you. Thank you for being willing to share your story with our readers. I hope Peanut’s passing was smooth and peaceful. Wishing you comfort for your heart and brighter days ahead. ♥
I have been agonizing and losing sleep over the decision to possibly have our sweet 15 1/2 year old beagle Sidney put down. I have scheduled it for next week, but still go back and forth over the decision many times daily. Reading these blog comments has been my saving grace and has helped me to realize we are making the right decision. I thank you all for sharing your stories.
Here is mine: Sidney has been struggling with dementia for close to 2 years with steadily worsening symptoms. The biggest is accidents in the house, which are now daily. She is deaf, wobbly on her back legs and falls often, especially if she gets upstairs (which is gated, but she still figures a way through in true beagle Houdini fashion). She sleeps all the time and if she is not sleeping she is pacing looking to find a crumb of food someone may have dropped, or barking. Very clingy to my husband as well. Her barking has become so frequent- started out as when kids had a pillow fight or something, then progressed to you couldn’t dance, hug or do anything out of the ordinary without her barking at you. Now this week she barked at my daughter for 30 min straight when she was doing nothing but walking around. After reading these articles, I now realize she is probably in a constant state of confusion.
I felt like she had to check every box, or not be eating, or not be able to walk to justify ending her life. And the fact that she still has some good days where she seems almost normal stopped me too. But I now see from reading your stories that we would be showing her love by ending her mental stress, as hard as it is for us.
The biggest problem now is she is adored by our 12 and 7 y/o girls. We have talked with them several times about her dementia and recently about end of life, which was hard. They don’t yet know that this is actually scheduled, however, and I am struggling with finding a way to help children understand what I, as an adult, had to read your stories to finally understand. Any tips on on explaining the idea of “it’s ok to let go before all joy is lost and all that is left is pain” to girls who see their dog eating, walking around, and still having some pretty decent days? We fear they will be angry and resentful for taking their dog away. Thank you in advance!
Dear Kristen,
My heart aches for you knowing you had to make this very difficult and emotional decision for your beloved Sidney. I am sorry I wasn’t able to respond before now and hope you were able to find the right way to talk about this with your girls. We, as humans, look forward to future events and anticipate special things such as holidays or vacations. Dogs don’t have a concept of “tomorrow” and truly live for the present. If all today brings is pain and confusion, then that becomes their whole world. It is hard explaining that to young kids, but I truly believe they are capable of understanding more than we give them credit for. I always think it is best to be honest and keep things simple (less is more). I hope Sidney’s passing was peaceful and smooth. May her memory stay with you always and continue to be a blessing to you and your family. ♥
Naia is our 15 year old Boston. She’s shown many signs of dementia the last year or so as well as some spinal issues and possible hip dysplasia. For the most part she has energy, she’s interested in her environment and is still very loving. The challenges we face daily are peeing and pooping in the house daily (sometimes right in front of us and/or minutes after she’s been outside), she paces A LOT, has become needy but is never satisfied with anything we try to do (play, cuddles, massage, treats), she acts like she’s hungry all the time even when she’s had plenty of food. She has always been a slow and picky eater but now she wants food and treats at all hours of the day and night and frustrated when we won’t give in, whining until she ties herself out. She whines when she’s happy, restless, frustrated, everything. I’ve thought maybe she’s bored bc she’s no longer able to go for her normal walks, but she stops playing with us after just a few minutes so I’m not sure if boredom is the issue. She also has some hearing issues and cataracts so that makes things challenging too.
This article explains exactly how we feel. She’s always been our easy, super smart, up-for-anything girl. It kills me watching her stare into space for several minutes at a time, not respond to commands that used to get her excited bc she can’t hear, and just never be comfortable unless she’s asleep. And oh, how frustrating it is to have to clean up messes nearly every day. My vet has said when she no longer is interested in things and has low energy that’s the time to consider putting her down, but that’s the thing. She still has relatively normal energy and still gets excited (mostly about food).
I’m not sure how to reconcile all the things going on with her, not wanting to be selfish, wanting her to have the best care but not willing to spend thousands of dollars to keep her alive for maybe another year, not wanting to lose my precious girl, and not wanting her to suffer.
Dear April,
My heart goes out to you as you face this difficult situation with Naia. I understand the stress and frustration that comes with being a full-time caretaker to a senior dog with dementia. It is incredibly hard! You have to consider your quality of life too. Sometimes this hardship ends up breaking the bond you share with a beloved pup and that is unfair for everyone involved. Your girl may have entered the window of time where saying goodbye is a loving option but not necessarily urgent. It is ok to let go before all joy is lost and the only thing that remains is pain and struggling. I will attach links to other articles with more information and advice from other readers. Hoping you can find the best way to navigate this emotional path. Bless you and your sweet girl. ♥
1. Using a Quality of Life Scale for Dogs
2. When Caring For A Sick Pet Becomes Too Much: Pet Caregiver Fatigue
3. 13 Mental Stimulation Toys for Dogs (& Activities Too)
4. How Will You Know When It’s Time to Euthanize Your Dog? 5 Caring, Heartfelt Messages
We had to put down my 17 year old dog Riley on July 16th. She was over 17 years old and clearly suffering from doggie dementia, as she exhibited all of the symptoms discussed in this article. It was hard to see her mental and physical health decline so rapidly. I knew this day would come and I had a very hard time letting her go. But her quality of life was declining. I regret not taking her to the vet when I first started noticing doggie dementia symptoms last November. She would pace during the evening hours, which I confused with her having to relieve herself. If you have any suspicion that your pet may be showing signs of cognitive decline, I would take your pet to the vet ASAP to see what treatment options your pet’s vet recommends.
Dear Charles,
I am so sorry for your loss of Riley. I hope with time you will be able to let go of any regrets or guilt over how things progressed. It is clear your girl was dearly loved, and I am certain she knew that as well. Thank you for sharing your experience with us. Wishing you comfort and peace. Bless you.
My Little girl Delilah us a 17 yr old poodle mix. she gave my Mom such joy and was a great companion but my Mom passed from a rare brain disease similar to an accelerated dementia. I bright delilah home with me and promised Mom ide take care if her. Delilah seems restless, anxious , very clingy , constantly whimpers or let’s out little yips over the last few months, recently started pooping around the house, she’s taken to sleeping or laying down under the bed instead if in hers. My girlfriend is not a fan of hers so it’s a stressful time as both want my attention and I’m trying g to keep my little dog from told to shut up or go lie down . I know she’s frustrated as am I , but I love my little Dog and ifeel COMPLETELY overwhelmed and can’t see a way that this gets any better. Sometimes my dog is ready to play and seems herself and then not long after she looks so sad laying in her bed or just sitting staring into space . I don’t know what to do.
Dear Joshua,
My heart goes out to you as you face this extremely difficult situation with Delilah and your girlfriend. I can only imagine the stress you are under and understand the emotional conflict this must be causing. While some of what your pup is experiencing sounds like dementia, I am also suspicious she may be grieving the loss of your mother. I wish I had some great advice or could tell you how to make things better for everyone. I will attach links to other articles with more information and great comments from other readers. Hoping you can find the best way to navigate this hard path ahead. Wishing you strength and comfort. Bless you. ♥
1. Using a Quality of Life Scale for Dogs
2. When Caring For A Sick Pet Becomes Too Much: Pet Caregiver Fatigue
3. Do Dogs Grieve? Helping Your Dog Cope With Loss
My Milo is 14 and has been showing signs of dementia. He paces in circles every night and is very restless. He pants constantly and now, when we leave him home he barks and barks and if out of his crate, barks and scratches at the door and is ripping up the carpet in front of the door. When we let him outside to pee, he will wander into bushes and trees and sometimes can’t figure out how to get back inside or up the steps. He pees in the house now. We have him in a diaper, but he will raise his leg to pee on the furniture right in front of us. I also don’t think he can hear very well as he doesn’t respond to us when called – especially if we are trying to wake him up. Last week, he stopped eating and drinking and his pacing stopped and all he did was sleep. We took him to the vet who prescribed special dog food. He didn’t eat it. I made the decision that we would euthanize him if he wasn’t better in a day or 2. The next day, my husband spoon feed him and raised his food dishes up. He ate a little, but did start drinking. After a few days, he started eating and drinking again and seems to be better, but the pacing, panting and barking/restlessness is back. I feel incredibly guilty and now have no idea what to do. The vet said he can live for several more years as long as he eats and drinks (he also said that Milo has arthritis, an irregular heart beat and a murmur). It’s very hard to watch him pace around and around and I end up yelling at him to lay down and then I’m filled with guilt cause I’m so tired and frustrated and I’m yelling at a little dog. Anyone else feel like that? My husband said we can’t euthanize him because I’m frustrated. The other night, Milo pooped all over my bedroom and threw up in my bed. I don’t know what to do as I feel like if I ask a vet to euthanize him, the vet will think I’m horrible – my friends and family sure do for even considering it. Any help you all could give would be great.
Dear Kathleen,
My heart aches for you as you face this difficult situation with Milo. You are absolutely not alone with getting frustrated and feeling overwhelmed and helpless. Caregiver fatigue is very real, and your quality of life matters too! I know you would never think of choosing euthanasia out of convenience, but that is not how I see your situation. From what you describe, it sounds like Milo is facing confusion, anxiety, stress, and restlessness daily. It takes so much more than a willingness to eat and the ability to walk to make up a good quality of life. Would you say your boy is truly living or just existing? Does he still find joy in his daily activities? Does he seek attention from family and friends? It is ok to let go before all joy is lost and the only thing that remains is pain. I would rather let go one day too early than one day too late and allow unnecessary suffering. I will attach links to other articles with more information and guidance on how to make this emotional decision. Ultimately, you have to trust your intuition as you know Milo better than anyone. Don’t let other’s opinions and expectations cause guilt and override your judgement. Praying for clarity and strength as you navigate this unknown path. Bless you and your sweet boy.
1. When Caring For A Sick Pet Becomes Too Much: Pet Caregiver Fatigue
2. How Will You Know When It’s Time to Euthanize Your Dog? 5 Caring, Heartfelt Messages
3. Dog Euthanasia: Knowing When to Say Goodbye
4. Using a Quality of Life Scale for Dogs
5. Preparing for Your Dog’s Euthanasia: 10 Thoughts for Peace
This is me and Tucker. I feel so guilty at the thought.. I’m putting him down because he has dementia.. My mother died from Lewy body dementia.. my opinion the worst one. I would never have put her down.. His sundowning is just like my mom’s. Endless wandering..restlessness.. from 7-945 .everynight… it’s hard to watch…
I wanna goes outside. He runs like he’s a two year old puppy..
ugg
Dear Lynn,
I am sorry for the loss of your mother to dementia and can only imagine how emotional it must be to face this difficult season of life with Tucker. Praying for your strength and comfort. Bless you and your sweet boy.
Ou wonderful lovable cockapoo Beau was 13 and a half when we had to make the heartbreaking decision to put him to sleep this March.
We miss him every single day and feel lost without him but he was struggling so much with his dementia…pacing all the time, urinating inside the house, confusion, declining sight and sadly aggression. It was so hard to see and we held on for as long as we felt we could but in the end we had to do what was best for him and not us.
He was a wonderful dog and our best friend and gave us such amazing memories. He had the best life living by the sea. We miss him so much.
Louise & Clair
Dear Louise,
I am sorry for your loss of Beau. What a blessing you shared over 13 years together and I can imagine you have lots of wonderful memories from your time by the sea. I hope with time the grief will fade and you can take comfort in knowing you saved Beau from unnecessary suffering. Wishing you brighter days ahead. Bless you both.
Yes my Mum had the same a few years ago .
Just watching my dog with the same look in his eyes is terrible
We had a 13 1/2 year old Husky named Laina that was euthanized in March. She was always such a sweet, curious and loving dog and it was hard to make this decision. Laina had lost most of her hearing though very loud noises would create a startle reflex in her. She had cataracts as well as cloudy corneas but seemed to be able to see a little bit.
Over 3 1/2 years ago she started showing signs of spinal atrophy which continued to worsen to where she was dragging her back right foot and the left was getting worse as well. Her back legs would cross and she would fall over. Combined with the above Laina developed canine dementia. She would get stuck by furniture in her path, walked along the walls and tripped on door stops and on floor grates, and she started pacing around and around and around, despite her weak back legs, until she fell down and at that point she would finally rest. We tried trazodone but with only 1/2 pill given she pretty much lost the use of her back legs within 90 minutes.
We had to board her for a few days four months before we had her euthanized, she did not even seem to know who I was when I picked her up and did not respond to me at all. Once she was back at the house for a bit she seemed to be a little better oriented.
From November until March 7 her legs got even worse, her mental status seemed to decline further, and she was barely drinking water. Most days Laina would eat her canned food though she would not touch her dry food or treats. She lost interest in her toys many months ago. Laina was confused by the changes in the type of floor and stopped going through doors without me helping her. She also became increasingly incontinent. My sweet dog who would screech with happiness when I came home from being gone a short time started growling at me and baring her teeth when I was trying to help her. She almost bit me a couple times but I moved faster than her.
Our vet and staff were very kind when we took her for the final appointment but he did say he thought she might have another month. She had no quality of life and we could not even walk her. After watching her for a couple minutes he realized how much more confused she was. I only mention this because others have said that their vets have made similar statements to them. It is a very hard decision and all I will say is that we as the pet owners see what is happening every single day with them. We are retired so thankfully we were here to deal with her issues and help support her but it was time.
Dear Coleen,
My heart goes out to you with your loss of Laina. I know you would have done anything to restore your girl’s quality of life, but what a blessing you were able to free her from suffering and offer her a peaceful passing. I am glad you brought up the issue with being told your girl “might have another month”. It is so hard to accurately assess quality of life when only given a snapshot of time. And most dogs get a bit nervous when entering the clinic and the rise in adrenaline can mask some of the symptoms of decline. I wish I could tell every owner to always trust your intuition. You knew your girl better than anyone and did a great job of advocating for her well-being. Wishing you healing and comfort as you continue life’s journey. Bless you and your family. ♥
Hello!
Our boy Mercury is 16. He’s a Jack Russle. Last year he had surgery to get a cancerous tumor removed. Physical he recovered well. But over the past year his mental health has declined. He sleeps excessively during the day, then paces all night long. At night is usually when he pants too. At first I thought it was because he was older and maybe had issues regulating body temperature. So I’d make sure he was warm in colder months and cool in hotter ones. I never realized before talking to our vet that it could be anxiety. He’s lost almost complete control of his bowel and bladder. He still drinks and eats, but he doesn’t play anymore…or show any interest in playing. Sometimes he just stares at nothing, or gets stuck by a wall or piece of furniture. He doesn’t respond to his name or commands any more. We still try to take him on walks, but he never goes too far. My husband and I worry about his quality of life. Mercury is physically here, but at the same time he’s not. We try different toys and treats, anxiety medication, melatonin to help with sleep…but it doesn’t seem to get better. Still, aside from not seeing too well, or hearing well, he seems healthy for a 16 year old dog.
It’s definitely stressful and exhausting taking care of a dog in need. But he’s family. Putting him down seems wrong…like we gave up or failed him. Is there more we can do to help him? Can we improve his quality of life, even a little bit?
A bit of context. My husband got Mercury as a puppy to help cope after his dad passed away. He’s been on many adventures and gotten into a lot of mischief lol. He was so confident and loving. Though small, he was always our fearless protector. And boy was he smart lol. Aside from the cancer last year, he’s been really healthy his whole life. We love him and want to be there for him like he’s always been for us. We don’t know what to do? Thank you in advance for any help 🙂
Hi Kate,
I am sorry Mercury is staring to struggle with his cognitive function. It sounds like you are already doing just about everything you can to try and maintain his quality of life. Unfortunately, despite our best efforts, this disease will eventually win. I understand how hard it is to make a choice to say goodbye, especially when all of the issues are mental instead of physical. I do think mental disease causes just as much suffering, if not more, as physical disease. I would rather let go one day too early than one day too late and allow unnecessary suffering. I hope you can find the best ways to ensure Mercury remains happy and healthy for as long as possible. Wishing you strength and clarity as you navigate this difficult path. Bless you all. ♥
Our Max had been suffering as his symptoms of dementia gradually increased and worsened. We decided to put him down about three weeks ago. He was almost 15. He had been a small, grey and white, lively, smart poodle-Lhasa apso mix. We loved him deeply, and he loved us right back. But we knew it was time for him to go: the pacing, the frequent accidents, the inability to feel comforted by us, his apparent state of being lost, his near inability to walk outdoors, his disengagement from us and other dogs, his inability or unwillingness to wag his tail. My wife and I felt sad and guilty after letting him go, but at least he went in peace and with dignity. Our vet was understanding and gentle when the time came. I have read and will continue to read all the sad but reassuring posts on this page. They have afforded me immense comfort after my feelings of guilt for putting Max down. My heart goes out to all of you and your beloved pets.
Dear Michael,
My heart goes out to you with your recent loss of Max. I am sorry you had to make the difficult decision to say goodbye, but I am certain it was the most loving option. I am glad you have found some comfort from the article and in the experiences and stories of other readers. I wish you continued healing and peace. May Max’s memory be a blessing in your life.
My best friend, Basha, is a 16-year old toy poodle. She was a very energetic dog until recently when she lost her vision due to kidney disease, and she also became deaf a few months before that. She had problems with her spine and joints, but with pain medications and supplements, she seems to be doing okay with that. She no longer eats her renal prescription food on her own, so we feed her using a syringe together with her kidney medications. Recently, we noticed changes in her behavior. She is restless and anxious. During the night, she paces back and forth around the house for hours. She seems exhausted and pants a lot, but she just wouldn’t stop. A few weeks ago, seeing her decline, I felt that it is time to say goodbye and give her the peace she deserves. But since she is a family dog, I have to consider other family members too. My vet gave her Mirtazapine and wants to observe her for a month. I’m not sure I can still take it. I feel like pieces of her are slowly disappearing each day and is truly heart breaking. 💔
Dear Ian,
I am sorry you are facing this emotional situation with your senior girl. It does sound like it may be time to say goodbye, but I understand how complicated things can get when there are others that have to be involved in the decision-making process. Trust your intuition as you know Basha better than anyone. Don’t hesitate to speak up and advocate for her well-being if needed. Praying for your strength and comfort as you navigate this difficult path. Bless you and your sweet girl. ♥
Thank you for this blog post, its very insightful and empathetic to many of us who are caring for senior dogs with dementia.
My boy Flash, is 14 years old (only a few months from his 14 year adoption anniversary), and is struggling with cognitive decline. Over the past year we’ve noticed a decline in his enjoyment of his favorite game, fetch. I chalked it up mostly to old age, and old joints. But more recently he has become very grouchy, aggressive towards strangers, and even our other dogs. He had a vestibular incident back in early March, which he has mostly recovered from. However after that, and a couple trips to the vet, we finally looked into dementia as a cause of his mood changes. He checked a lot of the boxes, in home defecation/urination, appearing lost in his own house, fights with our other boy dog he’s always been friendly with, and lately the night panting and restlessness. Initially pain management treatment seemed to cheer up his mood and help him sleep, but it seems that was only a temporary pause in his decline. My wife thinks he’s more just existing than living and enjoying time with family, and it’s probably time. But since he’s been my dog since I was fresh out of college, its ultimately up to me when to make this decision.
However, one thing that always seems to calm him down when he’s having confusion/anxiety moments is when i sit and pet him and talk to him. So obviously, my presence is still helping him, and that bond still exists? Physically, he’s fine, a little arthritis, but no tumors, never had a major health issue. I know the worst thing to do is to wait too long, but I also don’t want to say “goodbye” earlier than we need to.
Dear Brian,
I am sorry you are facing this emotional decision for your beloved Flash. It does sound like he is still comforted by your presence even though his dementia has progressed to a later stage. I can only imagine how conflicted you must feel as you try to do what is best for your boy. I wish I could tell you when is best to let go, but I encourage you to trust your intuition. You know Flash better than anyone and I feel certain a day will come when you know it is time. I pray for your strength and for clarity as you navigate this difficult path. Wishing you peace and give your sweet boy a hug for me. ♥
Just had to put my lovely little Buddy down because of dementia. This was the hardest decision I’ve ever had to make. Especially since, as several mention, his struggles was mostly mental and not physical. Buddy didn’t struggle with incontinence, no sundowning, he didn’t get stuck in a corner or scream and get anxious. But he slowly just became a walking zombie. He has always been my shadow and could play and cuddle with me for hours. At the end he did neither. We could barely even touch him – he just walked away when we did. He didn’t seem to recognize us either. Stopped greeting us with licks and a wagging tail as he always did. He just seemed empty. Like several say – just existing, not living. I watched older videos of him to remind myself of the true Buddy and how happy he was, when I realized that his quality of life now was nonexistent. His body was also starting to become very weak at the end – he struggled standing because of weak back legs, he couldn’t walk stairs and he was almost blind and deaf. He also struggled settling down and could just stand in the middle of the room and stare into the air or walk aimlessly around in the apartment.
It was so hard seeing him like this, slowly fade away. It broke my heart. I can’t believe how much I loved this creature. Having to make the decision to set him free totally broke me. It’s been a week since we put him down now and I still can’t believe I found the strength to do it. To have him fall asleep in my arms knowing he would never wake up again. I feel like a piece of my heart is missing. He took it with him and I will never get it back.
Reading your posts and all the comments bring me so much comfort. Thank you so much for this page. I don’t know what I would have done without it <3
Dear Marita,
My heart goes out to you with your loss of Buddy. I can only imagine how hard it was to say goodbye but know it was a loving act of sacrifice to offer your sweet boy peace and rest. I am glad you found some comfort and support in the article and comments from other readers. Thank you for being willing to share your story with us too. Praying for healing and peace and wishing you brighter days ahead. ♥
I am really struggling with deciding what is best for my dog, Buddy. Having to make this decision on my own makes me feel so helpless and lonely. Reading all these comments really helps and makes me not feel so alone in this anymore. But still I am having a really hard time.
My sweet boy, Buddy, is 14 years old. I adopted him when he was 2 and we have been inseparable ever since. He has always been a loving dog. We could spend hours together cuddling on the couch, and he has always been my shadow. Always wanted to be pet and to play with me and his furry toys. Over the past 1-2 years he has slowly stopped doing these things.
I didn’t know dogs could get dementia, so it took a while for us to realize that’s what it was, and the change was very gradual. He also has gotten very poor sight and hearing. He can run and jump outside when we are on our way home, and can still get a short burst of zoomies when we come inside. And when we are in the kitchen or when we feed him, he acts like a little puppy. But the rest of the time his body is stiff, his back legs looks weak, his body tilts to one side and he can easily stumble. We also have to carry him up and down the stairs (probably mostly because of his sight).
And as I mentioned he no longer wants to neither cuddle nor play. He never seeks contact in a loving way anymore, only when he begs for food. If I try to pet him, he just slowly walks away. In the morning when he is tired I can come to his bed and he will let me cuddle him for a bit, but if I do it for too long he will walk away. And he almost never wags his tail anymore. Maybe a little bit when he walks towards us in the morning or when we’re standing in the kitchen. But never the way he used to. He used to wag his tail so hard when we came home from work he almost lost his balance.
He doesn’t really seem to recognize us that well anymore. His eyes feels empty most of the time. He seems uncomfortable a lot of the time and will just stand in the middle of the room and stare into nothing while he sways back and forth. He does that more and more, and walks aimlessly around for a bit before he lays down somewhere to sleep.
It’s so incredibly difficult to assess his quality of life because I read about all these dogs that get stuck in a corner, screams at night (sundowning), and pees and poops inside all the time (Buddy has started doing it a little bit, but only a couple of times the last month), and Buddy seems so healthy compared to them. He still loves treats and can act like a puppy when we feed him. When we are walking outside he can look like any other normal dog. Can a dog have a comfortable life even though he’s apathetic and doesn’t want to cuddle or play, or seek the comfort of his owners anymore? Or is that a sign that he is suffering?
We have tried several medications that the vet has recommended, but none of them has made any impact or changes in his behavior. I just feel so lost, I don’t know what to do.
Dear Marita,
My heart goes out to you as you face this difficult situation with Buddy. I understand how hard it is to make decisions about the quality of life of a beloved pup. From what you describe, it sounds like Buddy has entered the “window” of time where we have to start thinking about a peaceful goodbye. During this window it is ok to choose euthanasia, but it doesn’t mean that it is necessary or urgent (at this point). It is fine to give him more time and continue to monitor his condition closely. It is also ok to let go before all joy is lost and the only thing that remains is pain and suffering. The ultimate goal is to keep Buddy comfortable. I would rather say goodbye one day too early than one day too late and allow unnecessary suffering. Trust your intuition as you know your boy better than anyone. I am hopeful that when the time comes you will know and be at peace with the decision. Praying for strength and clarity. Bless you and your sweet boy.
I have a Jack Russell that I adopted in 2020. We estimate his current age to be 15. He is deaf, his sight is limited, and he clearly has dementia (he’s got every symptom on the list). He’s always been an anxious dog, but he now spends several hours a day pacing. He used to sleep with me but does not anymore, nor does he like to cuddle as much. The other night I woke up to him howling because he got up from his bed and could not find me, even though I was in bed as usual. I live in a condo, and he now poops as soon as we walk into the hallway, and I have to put a belly band on him as he often pees before we get outside the building. On two occasions, I’ve suspected he’s had small strokes, but he recovered from them. He still loves to eat, and he is fairly mobile although he won’t walk very far. I know I feel a lot of stress since my life needs to be planned around him. However, I’m just not sure it’s time to do anything and I’m really struggling with the decision since he is eating and mobile. I don’t want to decide based on what’s better for me rather than him.
Hi Jody,
I understand your concern for your senior guy and think it is good you are searching for advice. There are a lot of factors that I consider when evaluating quality of life and the presence of an appetite and the ability to walk by themselves do not always equal well-being. Are their activities your boy still enjoys? Does he seek affection from you or other loved ones? Is he truly living or just existing? Without examining him myself, I can’t make specific conclusions. I will attach links to other articles with more information and great advice from other readers. Hoping you can find the answers you need to make the best choice for everyone involved. Bless you and your sweet boy.
1. Using a Quality of Life Scale for Dogs
2. When Caring For A Sick Pet Becomes Too Much: Pet Caregiver Fatigue
3. How Will You Know When It’s Time to Euthanize Your Dog? 5 Caring, Heartfelt Messages
sorry for long post.
After over two years of fighting, searching for answers, various examinations, various treatments and medications, awake nights, we were forced to say goodbye to our then 12.3-year-old finest wheaten boy. we never got a clear diagnosis. our Theo completely lost his ability to sleep. His nights consisted of tossing back and forth panting, heart palpitating, jumping up and down in our bed, trying to lie down only to jerk up and up again a second later. we tried every possible medication. our vet suspected sundowners, but the meds that should normally relieve, didn’t help. otherwise, our Theo was so nice in body, recognized us all, was clean, made up for his walks and at home. still after over 2 years since we were forced to make the hardest decision of our lives, we struggle with the grief, with the guilt, with the doubt. I devour everything that is written about sundowners and am in several fb groups, but there sundowners are described so easily, something that goes away with a little medication, something a man and his dog can easily live with. I then feel like such a failure, did I kill my best friend unnecessarily, were we bad parents to our dog, did we let him down?
last year Theo didn’t sleep at all at night, so my husband and I took it in turns to stay up all night with Theo every other night. he was so miserable and all the different medications were wearing him down. but I don’t know if we made the right decision. The last few days he became more alert during the day but no change at night. In Sweden, where I live, there was no information about sundowners in 2021, I was able to find information and suggestions for medications for our veterinarians via American sites. Sundowners seem so easy to cure and live with- for Theo and us it wasn’t like that- I feel like such a failure and that we really really gave up and let Theo down. nowhere in everything I read about Sundowners do I find if a dog suffers from Sundowners.
it’s hard to live with the uncertainty – did we do the right thing, could we have done something else?
More about Theo:
Our Theo started having difficulty sleeping at the age of 10.
He who had previously slept through the night started pacing back and forth, panting heavily, palpitations, staring at walls, especially at night.
Then fell asleep around two or three in the morning. We consulted our vet, took lots of samples but found nothing, medical or physical.
There was no explanation, there had been no change in the home environment either.
We thought it was something transient. (He was neutered at the age of 7, due to increased influence of running bitches) also had no dental problems. (We had previously also switched to new feed, due to a grain allergy). Gradually it became more and more difficult for Theo to be able to sleep at night and he also began to have difficulty sleeping deeply during
the days. He woke up and was startled by the slightest sound. He also began at about the age of 11 to become more antisocial and disinterested in taking longer walks. He who has always loved meeting people, hiking and playing. He also became a little grumpier and uninterested in meeting other dogs, something he always liked before and had no problems with.
I, who also worked a lot from home, worked almost entirely from home and Theo was now never alone.
We consulted our vet over six times, and major examinations and tests were done, until we were diagnosed with Canine Cognitive Dysfunction CDS, sundown syndrome…
He was given other feed Purina proplan, and aptus relax, sedative medicine Zylkene, Eldepryl. And a soothing petremedy spray. Was put by the vet on a trial of calming Colmicalm, Onsior and Sileo pain medication – no change…
Nothing helped and in the spring of 2021 Theo did not sleep at all at night. My husband and I took turns sleeping every other night. Got more medicine Rimadyl (if it was the case that he was in pain somewhere after all) Melanton and Gabapentin.
Despite all the medications, (5 different) all the love, there was no change. Theo just felt worse and worse and became more and more distant. He was so tired it was heartbreaking to see him so restless and restless at night. Nothing we did helped him: holding, lying in bed, lying in soft cage, next to bed, lights, music on/off. We tried everything! Consulted one of Sweden’s best veterinarians and ethologists specializing in dementia and behavioral changes.
We were not entirely convinced that the diagnosis was correct as he did not have other classic symptoms of CDS: he found home, recognized us, was clean.
We fought all summer, but Theo just got worse. He also began to show signs of side effects from all medications. We tried to give him the best, nicest summer On August 25, 2021 at the age of 12.3 we let him rest and fall asleep. He was so beautiful in body but tired in mind.
Our vet thought that Theo had CDS (sleep-wake cycling) and probably a brain tumor, (when the meds didn’t work) which cannot be cured. (We chose not to scan, as sedating Theo would worry him more)
We are heartbroken, we really miss our guy. He really was the best.
So sad that no medications helped so we wished we could take care of him in his real senior years.🐾
Dear Kristin,
My heart goes out to you as you continue to mourn for your beloved boy, Theo. I am sorry for the delayed reply, but I wanted you to know that I saw and read each of the four messages you have submitted. From what you describe, I think you made the right choice for your senior guy. Sometimes saying goodbye is the most loving option and only way to offer peace and freedom from suffering. Dementia/Cognitive dysfunction is NOT easily treated. Some dogs show varied improvement with supplements and medications, but there are MANY who can’t get relief from any sort of treatment at all. Please don’t feel like you failed your boy just because medications did not help. It sounds like you did everything you could to give Theo the best chance at life. You even sacrificed your own quality of life and sleep. I hope with time your grief will fade and you can find comfort in knowing Theo was well loved and lived a happy life by your side. May his memory stay with you always and continue to be a blessing. ♥
Thank you for your professional and thoughtful response. it means so much to me! so thank you, so hard not fully knowing, having a clear diagnosid and living with so much guilt and doubt is still heavy. reading other’s posts i see that Theo was so young compared to the others. he was so fine and healthy in his body, but so tired, in mind. perhaps also due to all the different medicines, he began to stumble and wobble in the last months. Its really killing me to remember how cheerfully he greeted everyone and his vet on his last day, he really perked up for the last two days. Maybe he did it for us. Theo is so loved and is in our thoughts and hearts. I just wish our vets could have given us a faster and better diagnosis. we had done everything for our finest.
so thank you for your nice reply!
Hi Kristin,
Of course! It was my pleasure. ♥
I am so glad that I found your website and read the comments! I have been struggling myself for over a year now with caregiver fatigue and guilt and stress. My rescue girl, Milly, is about 14 to 15 years old we believe. She was found wandering the streets and had psychological issues from competing with other dogs in her pack I believe for resources and also abused by humans. She has had severe nervous anxiety, food aggression, and went to the bathroom only on cement walkways (even though we owned an acre of grassy yard). I’ve taken care of her for years now and we think that she was 5 or 6 when we got her 9 years ago. For the past year, she’s been on trazodone to help her sleep at night and her CCD. Even medicated, she will pace around the kitchen nervously, awake from sleep very quickly from any noise, is not eating all of her food (but loves bones and snacks), and has incontinence issues from declining renal function. She wears diapers now to control her accidents. The biggest complaint I have is her excessive whining all day, her clinginess, and her barking every 3 hours to go outside in the middle of the night. I work long shifts (and pay caregivers to come out to let her and her housemate out at least twice a day on those days until i get back home from work). I let her out for potty at midnight and then I am in a dead sleep and hear the barking at 2am, 3am, 6am, and 8am to go outside again. I am feeling guilty about being upset at her because I’m so physically exhausted from lack of sleep and hearing her bark nonstop to signal me. I have bags under my eyes from lack of sleep and I have now isolated myself at home more because I’m embarrassed what my friends will think of what I’m going through. I’m glad that I’m not the only one in this thread that feels this way. I don’t want to get to the point of being angry with my girl (due to sheer exhaustion) and yelling at her to be quiet all the time.
Dear Christine,
My heart goes out to you as you face this difficult situation with your senior girl. I understand what a heavy burden it can be to be the full-time caregiver to a senior dog with dementia. I am glad you are aware of how it is affecting your life. Your quality of life matters too. Saying goodbye may be the most loving option and only way to prevent the loving bond you share from breaking completely causing unnecessary stress and discomfort to you both. I hope you will know when is best to make this emotional decision. Praying for your strength and comfort. Bless you and your sweet girl.
I have a 13 yr old Maltese Shihtzhu mix. We have had Buddy since he was 8 weeks old. He has always been the silly dopy little guy in our lives. About 6 yrs old he had his first seizure, not severe, and had one a year for maybe 5 yrs and then they stopped. In the last 6+ months I have noticed changes in him. He no longer plays with toys and no longer wants to chew on bones. He does not play fetch or listen to commands like sit/speak. He still has a healthy appetite and a great bladder. He had started pacing all day long and at night, and that has become worse. He basically travels in circles now. After you take him out to go potty he gets excited and bounces and runs in circles and ends up running his head into a chair or pole if I do not catch him in time. He also has had, which are coming weekly now, it seems, like a snorting, violently shaking his head and vomit slinging fits. He seems unaware of his surroundings. He does let me pet him and hold him for maybe a minute then squirms to get away. I have found him standing in the water bowl and every day he runs into and knocks his food bowl over. Many times when I feed him he will pace until he finds his way back to his food to eat it. I very rarely see him drink from the water bowl so I have to “swim” his food so I know he is getting water intake there. He would very rarely bark and jump at our 2 yr old Golden like he was playing or annoyed by him to get him to settle down, but not really doing that anymore. Sometimes he lets out a bark which seems happy, but overall I just can not tell. I can usually get him in and out to go pee, but I have to carry him in and carry him out as he would never find his way outside or back inside. He has been having poop accidents in the house as that part of his schedule is not regular any longer. As of now, most of the day he paces the house and does have some stretches of sleeping. At night we have called him the human pinball machine as he paces, walks in circles and gets lost under our bed or in our bathroom and rams his head into everything. He has got stuck in areas of the house as well. I am up most of the night until I no longer hear him pacing and hitting his head on things. I find him asleep now in middle of the kitchen floors, then I pick him up and bring him back to our bedroom for the rest of the night. His pacing at night upsets my husband and therefore has caused fights with us as well. I love my little man to the moon and back, but I am now even getting frustrated, mostly because I do not feel like the rest of the family is helping me out with him, especially at night. I had a vet visit couple weeks ago, they did not think he was in any pain, but assured me when it was time for me or him, it was not the wrong decision. They gave me Gapapentin for night to help him and me sleep, it worked for a little over a week, but does not seem like it is helping now. I am struggling with making this decision all by myself and feel alone. I do not want to let him go if it is too early for him, but reading some of these posts has helped me as well, especially talking about how us as their care givers getting frustrated and that making the bond loss harder. I am probably going to be calling my vet this week and making the difficult decision to let him go. There is nothing harder than setting your little fur baby free. Thank you all for your posts and sharing your experiences.
Dear Tammy,
My heart aches for you with all you have endured to ensure Buddy is well taken care of. I agree that saying goodbye may be the most loving option at this point. I understand what an impossibly difficult and emotional decision it is to let go. But I cannot think of a bigger act of selfless love than to allow your own heart to break so that your sweet boy can find peace and rest. I hope Buddy’s passing was peaceful and smooth. Wishing you brighter days ahead and may his memory be with you always. ♥
We have an almost 19 year old shih tzu, Samuel, whom we inherited from my husbands grandmother when she passed away from Alzheimer’s. Samuel spend a good portion of his life in a nursing home prior to us inheriting him when he was about 14. When we took him in, his whole personality shifted and the previously shy, snappy, grumpy dog, transformed into a happy, almost puppy-like, playful dog. We’ve been blessed with almost 5 good years with him. We could tell about a year ago that he was developing signs of dementia, along with a bad cough, and took him to see his vet who diagnosed him with a collapsing trachea and beginning stages of dementia. He’s been slowly getting worse over the past year, but nothing that we couldn’t manage. Over the past few days, after we returned from a weekend trip (Samuel stayed home with his pap – my father-in-law), his personality has shifted. While he’s always been a “needy” dog and had separation anxiety, he will no longer let me leave his sight. His energy levels are VERY high, and he wants to eat almost constantly. Throughout the night, he is jumping off of the bed and barking at the door to either go outside, eat, or drink water, at least 2-3 times. Like many other comments i’m reading through, I want to stick it out and give him more time, especially seeing as he is still moving around, being playful, eating, drinking and non-aggressive. However, i see how confused he is when he goes outside or if he can’t see where i’m at (he’s partially blind). I’m really struggling with when to say “when”. I don’t want him to suffer, but having to constantly hold him and give him attention is starting to impact my daily life more and more. Saying that makes me feel so selfish and I can’t imagine my life without him. 🙁
Dear G,
My heart goes out to you as you face this difficult situation with Samuel. Please don’t feel bad for being honest about the hardships of being a full-time caregiver to a dog with dementia. Caregiver fatigue is real, and I wish more people knew about this! Here is an article that discusses this in more detail: When Caring For A Sick Pet Becomes Too Much: Pet Caregiver Fatigue
I am glad this forum is a safe space to air out our feelings and thoughts. I understand how hard it is to truly evaluate quality of life for a beloved pup especially when most of the issues are mental instead of physical. Ultimately, you have to trust your intuition as you know Samuel better than anyone. I have faith that when the time comes to say goodbye, you will know and be ready to offer him a peaceful passing. Wishing you comfort and strength to face each new day. Bless you. ♥
My 14-1/2 year old Cairn Terrier (whom her new vet exclaimed could not be that age when examining her in January) has had a decline in the last six weeks since undergoing dental surgery (1-1/2 hours to extract 3 molars and a few front teeth which we had thought could extend her life, after having only non-anesthesia dental care with a holistic vet for several years) and starting gabapentin for arthritis pain while also fighting a UTI. She had received antibiotics for the UTI just prior to her surgery, and a different antibiotic and pain killers after the dental surgery. An aspiration resample of her urine showed the UTI was not resolved, so a second antibiotic was started for the UTI while waiting for culture results which indicated a need for a third antibiotic which we just finished. She seemed to be recovering for the first few weeks after her dental surgery then started to decline. She became very wobbly on her back legs, listless, and refused her homemade food (ground turkey, rice, and peas). Over the course of several days, noticed a pattern that she would eat (when offered rotisserie chicken) and perk up about 4-5 hours after receiving her medication (gabepentin and doxycycline) as though they possibly made her nauseaus. Had a quality-of-life appt with her vet and decided to try librela and naseau medication with the plan to stop gabapentin to see if she could get back to her prior self – five days later, she is no longer listless but not back to her former eating patterns and still wobbly. I have made contact with a vet who comes to the home for end of life care, but am extremely torn and feeling that I want to give her a chance to recover and experience the joy in life she so recently had (if the UTI can be cleared and either the librela kicks in or stopping the gabapentin has some positive effect on her wobbly rear legs). This is so difficult – I am in shock and feeling that I may have made one or more wrong choices for her.
Dear Susan,
My heart aches for you as you face this difficult situation with your senior girl. There are so many things that happened all around the same time frame that it is hard to make conclusions as to what is contributing to your pup’s symptoms. Anesthesia can sometimes worsen dementia that is already present. So, if your girl was in the beginning stages of dementia or cognitive dysfunction, it is possible that the procedure could have made these issues more pronounced. UTIs can also cause strange symptoms and gabapentin can cause ataxia or wobbling during the first few days/weeks of administration until the body has a chance to adjust. I am not sure how to advise you to proceed but I think it would be ok to give this more time and see if you notice any improvement with the medication changes that have already been made. Please don’t carry around the burden of guilt over the choices that were made. You didn’t do anything wrong, and I would have done exactly the same for my own pup. Feel free to leave an update if you have a chance. Hoping all is well and praying for a positive outcome.
Hello everyone,
My heart is so broken as I write this, Kahlua is a mix bread who is almost 16years old. She is almost completely blind and deaf and she has been diagnosed with canine cognitive dementia (CCD). She is currently on medication for CCD and she receives melatonin at night to help her sleep. Kahlua spends 90% of her day pacing, walking in circles and getting stuck in corners. The other 10% she spends sleeping. She still eats and drinks, and finds her way to her water dish. She also plays with her toy for a few seconds when I squeek it, and cry when I come home from an outing (out of excitement). She is also still able to walk on her leash.
I can definitely say she is a different dog as she no longer is as active as she once one, she use to love chasing the ball, going to the park and chasing me around the house.
I am really struggling, as I don’t want to end her life when she could potentially live so much longer. I guess the part where she still gets excited to see me when I come home cripples me.
please help.
thanks
-Tiffany
Dear Tiffany,
I am sorry you are facing this difficult decision about Kahlua’s quality of life. Without personally witnessing her behavior it is hard to make specific recommendations. Ultimately, you have to trust your intuition as you know her better than anyone. It is ok to let go before all joy is lost and the only thing that remains is pain and suffering. We devote ourselves to making sure we offer a good life but giving a beloved dog a peaceful goodbye is just as important. I will attach links to other articles with more information. Hoping you can find the advice you need to do what is best for you and Kahlua. Praying for comfort and clarity.
1. Using a Quality of Life Scale for Dogs
2. How Will You Know When It’s Time to Euthanize Your Dog? 5 Caring, Heartfelt Messages
3. Dog Euthanasia: Knowing When to Say Goodbye
I am torn up about my little Lhasa Apso, her name is Dani. She is 13 1/2 years old and much younger than most of the dogs. I’m reading about. I have three dogs one a year older than her. I also have a young Akita. The other dogs are doing well.
My Lhasa has Serious cognitive decline. My vet says it could be many things from dementia to a tumor on her brain. She is now blind, and deaf, I feel like losing her senses is increasing her anxiety. I have declined further tests because of her age and the anxiety of going to the vet. She used to love to go to the groomers, and go for walks and play. But no longer. She shows many signs of dementia, she will occasionally eat, but is losing weight and very bony. She paces endlessly and walks in circles. She got lost in the backyard and I had to go and bring her in. Recently, she does not like the other dogs so I have made a little cave area under my bed that she enjoys.
She no longer likes to be held or cuddled, but if I take the dogs out, she wanders and gets scared or wants to stand right beside me. She is no longer the little firecracker she was. She does not like bones or any of the treats she used to like, except for one. I cut that up and mix in her food to entice her to eat. The vet has given me something to add to her food to get her to eat and increase appetite, but that has not worked. Gabapentin has not worked. She has a few happy moments especially when my daughter comes home from college. She’ll hop around a little bit and then go crawl into her cave. I MISS HER!
I feel like I am not giving her the proper attention because of the other two dogs and work. I just am crying because I don’t feel like she’s happy, I do feel like she’s stressed and uncomfortable and I was considering making a call to the vet tomorrow for a home visit at the end of the week. My sister asked me if I wanted to be killed if I lost my vision, hearing, and was having cognitive issues. I don’t know what I would want. I don’t know what Dani (dandelion) wants. I read so many stories about older dogs and choosing the right time. But she is so much younger than most dogs that I read about. I don’t know if I should make the call or if there is something I’m doing wrong..
She has only had a few accidents in the house and that is in the middle of the night. Otherwise she still tries to go outside. So I don’t know what to do. She’s not displaying the accidents like the other dogs described and she is younger than they are. But I don’t feel like she is who she was or that she is comfortable. She moves around as if she’s not in pain, but she seems very anxious and stressed. She hates going to the vet recently and shakes. She shakes at home, so I got her sweater in case she’s cold like older people sometimes get it. Do I wait until she no longer can control her bladder? I feel so guilty and sad.
Dear Laura,
Goodness, my heart aches for you as you face this difficult situation with Dani. From what you describe, I do think letting go may be the most loving option. It is hard to assess quality of life when most of the issues are mental instead of physical. But I firmly believe that mental disease causes just as much suffering, if not more, than physical disease. You mentioned that Dani is struggling daily with anxiety, stress, lack of appetite, lack of joy, she is hiding in a cave under your bed, no longer seeks attention or comfort, no longer finds joy in her favorite activities, paces and is restless, …. not even considering she is blind and deaf; this does not sound like a good quality of life to me. It is ok to say goodbye before all hope is lost and the only thing that remains is pain and anxiety. Saying goodbye will offer your sweet girl freedom from her struggles and give her the peace and rest she deserves. We often place such an emphasis on living a good life, but the goodbye is just as important. If you wait too long to make a choice, the option to choose may be taken from you, and you will have no control to ensure her passing is smooth and peaceful. I would never think this was a decision made out of convenience, especially with all you have said about Dani’s current situation. I hope you can find the advice you need to make a choice that is best for everyone involved. Praying for strength and clarity. Bless you and Dandelion. ♥
As I am writing this, [‘m listening to my sweet girl, Chloe’s, pacing around the house, The click click click of her nails on my hardwood floors. She is 16 1/2 and has every single symptom described above, every one. she is now having accidents daily, sometimes multiple times, even though she has a doggy door, but sometimes she seems like she can’t find her way anymore to use it. she is almost totally blind and can’t hear and her sniffer doesn’t work like it used to. I sit here crying wondering when I should let her go be free from this body, but I keep saying to myself “she isn’t in pain, that would be selfish”. But when she is constantly running into thins, and walls and getting stuck inn corners, it breaks my heart. I know it’s time, but my heart is breaking…
Dear Serena,
My heart aches for you as you face this emotional decision for your Chloe. I understand how hard it can be to say goodbye, but know it is the last act of selfless love we get to show a beloved pup. I am certain your girl knows how much you love her, and it is clear she has been a very important part of your life. I pray for your strength and comfort. Bless you and your sweet girl. ♥
Hi, I’ve had Juanita since I was in second grade. She is now about 16 years old. I’ve suspected for the last three years she has had dementia but unsure just thought it was old age. I started giving her hemp chews to help with the anxiety about two years ago. Her symptoms are walking in circles, hard of hearing, loss of sight, and urine incontinence, It wasn’t until recently a vet finally diagnosed her with dementia. I wish a vet would have caught this years ago and she could have gotten on a diet to help with neuro function. After reading this article, I connected with the comment made “I don’t want to euthanize her just because she’s hard to care for.” She is my best bud I get to cuddle with her at night and it’s selfish for me to say I don’t want to lose that. She was recently diagnosed with a heart murmur and has a cardiology appointment in the upcoming month. Am I a bad dog mom for letting her live this long, I’ve now researched and understood her recent dementia diagnosis. How do I accept if and when I should choose to euthanize her? What I got from the article is that once the human-animal bond is broken, it’s time but that is a heartbreaking decision. Grateful to have found this community where other pet owners can relate.
Hi Juanitas mom,
I am sorry you are facing this difficult situation with your beloved pup. I definitely don’t think you are a bad mom, and it sounds like Juanita’s life has been filled with joy and love. What a blessing she has been by your side for 16 years. I will attach links to other articles with more advice and information on how to know when it is time to say goodbye. The bond you share is important, but I also watch for signs that a dog is no longer finding joy in their daily life. Does she still seek affection? Does she still want to play/go for walks/sniff around the yard/go for a ride? I am not sure what her favorite activities are, but when those no longer hold any interest, it may be best to let go. Hoping you can find the answers you need to make the best choice for you and your sweet girl. You are doing a great job taking care of her. Wishing you many happy days ahead and keep up the good work!
1. Using a Quality of Life Scale for Dogs
2. How Will You Know When It’s Time to Euthanize Your Dog? 5 Caring, Heartfelt Messages
3. Dog Euthanasia: Knowing When to Say Goodbye
4. Preparing for Your Dog’s Euthanasia: 10 Thoughts for Peace
As I read through all the loving senior pet stories, I too am struggling with the same heart breaking situation. My Molly is 3 months shy of 17.. I was very active in pet rescue years ago, and Molly became the youngest ( at 8 weeks to my other 3 dogs, who have since passed.. ) Molly is a Shorky ( shitzu/yorky ) and has been my shadow. All these years. She watches my every move and hardly lets me out of her sight. She has CCD and all the symptoms. She also has back leg weakness. We purchased Special gripper socks to help her walk on the hardwood. We have constructed a ramp with a wall to our bed to keep her from falling. The floors are covered with pillows as she has jumped off the bed impulsively-scaring us half to death!
She has been evaluated by a hospice vet as well as her personal vet. I have been told any time would be the right time to let her go. I keep saying-I have to get through February. Now I have to get through March. I cry myself to a point of being ill just thinking about life without her. Yes it is exhausting being up all night as she gets thirsty and then potty and pace. I am 67 and my husband is 73. We have devoted our lives to pets. At one time: 6 cats, 4 dogs, 2 birds and an aquarium. They were all spoiled and loved so much. My husband has had his own share of illnesses over the years, We still have a 16 year old cat from our pet family as well.
I feel selfish extending Molly’s days, when I can see she is so tired. I feel guilty letting her go-thinking she does not want to leave me. I feel guilty putting my husband through all the sleepless nights-which he’s never complained about -he just jokes that he’s Mollys caretaker.
As pet parents we make the agreement to love them and care for them no matter what. We also make the agreement that we will do what’s best for them, because we love them so much.
I will never have this pet bond again. Molly was the one who stole my heart. With this intense love will come the intense pain of her absence.
I am preparing now and trying to be strong for all of us. Molly has given me the greatest gift of love and I will be forever grateful.
I wish you all peace, gratitude and clarity as you make this journey of love.
Blessings to all of you-you are truly Animal Angels,
Sherra❤️🐾🐾
Dear Sherra,
My heart goes out to you as you face this emotional decision for Molly. It is clear she is dearly loved, and I am certain she knows how much she means to you. I hope you will find the strength needed when the time comes to say your final goodbye. May her memory stay with you always and continue to be a blessing in your life. ♥
Thank you Dr. Buzby. Today is the day Molly will cross the rainbow bridge. We had a quality of life consultation 2 months ago and I was not ready. The long goodbye has been bittersweet. I picked St. Patrick’s Day because it is a special holiday and what a beautiful day to cross the rainbow bridge. We have cried everyday-but we agreed when we release her spirit-there will be joy and no tears. She deserves that. This has been emotionally draining on us, but it’s time to let her go and release her from this tired body. She has been loved and adored-we will miss her terribly and must learn how to live without her bodily presence.
Thank you for writing me back.
Blessings,
Sherra
Dear Sherra,
I pray Molly’s passing was smooth and peaceful. What a wonderful day to celebrate her new freedom and the legacy she will leave with you. Bless you. ♥
Reading about Molly simply tears me up. Everything described is what we are going through with my old man, Cannon. He’s a bully and I adopted him when he was a senior at about 10 years old. He’s now about 14. His previous parents had a newborn and needed to rehome him and I absolutely adored him. Still do but the last few weeks I’ve been struggling as the last 6 months, I’ve watched him decline losing cognitive functions, becoming incontinent, both peeing and pooping in the house, losing weight (his entire backbone is showing), he has severe arthritis he’s medicated for, and he’s knocking into things as he is using them as crutches to walk and falling over constantly in the house. It’s been rough and I’ve been telling myself as long as he still has a will for life I will provide that for him but these last few weeks after talking with friends and family, I’m struggling with wether I’ve just been holding on while he’s suffering. I said I was going to call the vet yesterday first thing but did not, but I will make the call today. After reading these stories, as much as I love my old man, it has been a struggle as I also now have a newborn. I’ve been bullheaded bc I don’t like the feeling of giving up on him, just because things have gotten tougher but they’ve been tough and I had to be reminded it isn’t about me, but about his quality of life. I’m trying to remember that as I get the confident to call my vet to get their thoughts. I’ve never lost a pet due to old age so this is a new experience for me and a tough journey as he really has been the best boy. I’m glad I found this forum though as it’s helping push me to make the right decisions for Cannon:
Dear Alexis,
My heart aches for you as you prepare to say goodbye to Cannon. He was a very lucky pup to have found you in his time of need. It sounds like you have offered him unconditional love and lots of happiness for his senior years. I can only imagine how much you will miss him but agree that letting go is the only way to offer him freedom and peace. Thank you for being willing to share your story with us. I pray for your strength and comfort as you navigate this emotional path. Bless you and your sweet boy.
I have a senior dog named Skrappy. He has lived a very chaotic life. He is a chihuahua mixed with russel terrier. He is about 80 years old. I believe he currently has dementia because he paces constantly nonstop every day. Sometimes he will get stuck in a corner. He still eats and drinks water regularly and can walk, but he will walk in circles for long periods of time and won’t notice anything else going on around him. He doesn’t pee/poop on his pads anymore so he makes the whole house smell, and sometimes when he is going in circles, he will step on his own poop and smash it into the floor. He cries at night when he is in his kennel and wants to just spin in circles all night. He’s never been a cuddly dog, so he does not like getting picked up or pet but he is very skinny. Although he eats, you can see/feel his bones because his body will not retain any fat. I’m not sure if he’s suffering or not, and i’m not sure if it’s ethical or not to put a dog down for having dementia. I’ve had him since i was about 6 years old, I am 22 now. What should I do?
Dear Dazia,
I am sorry Skrappy is having so many issues with these severe dementia symptoms. 16 is very old for a dog and it is amazing you have shared so many years together. I am sure you have lots of wonderful memories from all of your adventures. From what you describe it does sound like he is struggling and dealing with anxiety and confusion every day. I am convinced that the suffering caused by mental illness is just as bad, if not worse, than physical illness. It is ok to consider saying goodbye to Skrappy. Letting go may be the most loving option and only way to give your sweet boy freedom and peace. I will attach links to other articles with more information on how to make this emotional decision and what you can expect from your vet. Praying for your comfort and strength as you navigate this difficult path. Bless you and your sweet boy. ♥
1. Using a Quality of Life Scale for Dogs
2. How Will You Know When It’s Time to Euthanize Your Dog? 5 Caring, Heartfelt Messages
3. Preparing for Your Dog’s Euthanasia: 10 Thoughts for Peace
4. In-Home Dog Euthanasia: Heartfelt Answers to 12 FAQs
I have a 15 and a half year old Yorkie named Lucy. She is deaf, almost completely blind, and has dementia. My family and I have been lovingly telling her to just go peacefully her sleep, but I don’t think she will. The part in this article talking about whether they were living or just existing hit really hard. Lucy no longer wants anything to do with the humans in the house unless they are giving her a bone. She’s never been a cuddly dog but would ask to be pet through out the day, but I can’t remember the last time she did that. She also doesn’t want anything to do with the other dogs or does she spend any more time than necessary outside. Being a Yorkie she used to spend lots of time out in the yard independently (typical Yorkie very independent). Now she won’t even hang out with me and my toddler out there. She has most of the things on the list minus incontinence. The pacing and licking has gotten so bad my family and I feel like it’s some sort of mental warfare but we know she can’t help it. Days and Nights completely mixed up too. She still eats but not much and is rather thin now. The only thing she cares about is getting her bones, but recently she has started to forget when she gets her bone. She usually gets three a day, morning, afternoon, and before human bedtime. Now she will get it then start begging in 5 or 10 minutes for another one because she forgot she already got it. She now rarely ever barks, her siblings really have to be barking in the house a ton for her to let out even one bark. No longer barks in the backyard at all. I’m struggling with this decision immensely. To be brutally honest, she’s always been an annoying dog. I love her to pieces but still annoying. Always licking (result of bad breeding per the vet), running around (again a Yorkie to be expected), and barking a ton. It’s just so different now, I don’t think she’d even notice if the house was empty as long as her food and water was full and treats were dispensed 3 times a day. I think the fact she has always been annoying is making it harder to decide, I don’t want to put her down because she is annoying because that’s who she always was, it’s just so different now. It’s dementia annoying, not crazy Yorkie annoying. I don’t feel like dementia annoying is the right wording, but it’s the constant pacing, if she is awake she is pacing. I don’t think she knows where she is most of the time and has started begging for bones at the wrong doors. It’s the lack of anything other than wanting bones. No petting, no going outside, no just following you around to know what you’re doing, nothing just bones, pacing, and licking everything including the air.
Dear Savannah,
I am so sorry you are facing this difficult decision for Lucy. First, I just want to say THANK YOU for being willing to talk about this somewhat taboo topic! You are not alone, and I think more people feel this way than we realize. As soon as you said “dementia annoying”, I wanted to scream YES! Most people won’t admit to these feelings because they fear being judged by others. Being a full-time caregiver to a dog with dementia is HARD and so very frustrating! Dementia takes away their personality and ends up breaking the bond we share. It is common for those who say goodbye to a dog that has suffered with this disease to feel more relief than loss. The sad truth is we end up grieving the loss of a beloved dog while they are still with us, many months before their actual passing, due to the loss of their personality and affection. As hard as it will be to say goodbye to Lucy, I think it is probably the most loving option. I hope you can find the advice you need to make the best choice for everyone involved. Praying for your strength and comfort. Bless you and your little girl. ♥
My molly will be 17 in October. We had a bout of vestibular in October of 22, she had had a permanent right head tilt since then. Stop doing steps at the same time she’s almost completely blind and deaf. The wondering the house has increased lately last night it was a literal all night event. She doesn’t have accidents in the house however we are very regimented on going out every 4 hrs. She does pace the yard and struggles to find her way to the house unless I stay right beside her. She hasn’t forgotten when it’s time to eat or when it’s time to get treats. I’m struggling with knowing when am I prolonging this for me and not doing what’s best for her. She’s certainly not the same dog that she was 2 years ago. I’ve had her since she was 6 weeks old. Very hard to k ow when is the right time
Dear Amanda,
I understand why this decision is so difficult and I wish I could tell you what was best. It is hard to truly evaluate quality of life when all of the issues are mental, and their physical health seems to be ok. You know Molly better than anyone and I encourage you to trust your instincts. I am hopeful that when the time is right, you will know. I will attach links to other articles with more information and advice on how to navigate this emotional path. Wishing you and your sweet girl all the best. Bless you both. ♥
1. Using a Quality of Life Scale for Dogs
2. How Will You Know When It’s Time to Euthanize Your Dog? 5 Caring, Heartfelt Messages
3. Preparing for Your Dog’s Euthanasia: 10 Thoughts for Peace
My 20 year old Jack Russel x Missy was put the sleep yesterday.
She had advanced CCD – undiagnosed but all the signs.
This last week she had gone downhill. And yesterday morning she couldn’t stand – almost certainly a stroke. I knew it was time.
Whilst I have been preparing myself for this – I’m in shock. I feel so numb.
The sense of loss is indescribable.
Dear Claire,
My heart aches for you with your recent loss of Missy. I am certain your girl knew how much you. You made the selfless choice to free her from her suffering and offered her peace the only way you could. I hope as time goes by your heart will begin to heal. Wishing you strength and comfort to face each new day and praying for brighter days ahead.
My boy Oscar is an almost 21 year old dachshund. He is mostly deaf, blind and is showing signs of dementia. He walks the house (I say he skedaddles around the house). So far the skedaddling is his most obvious symptom. He has always been a dog that paces and just can’t sit still, but now he paces in circles. He does have accidents in the house and does get stuck every once in a while, but it is such a toss up as to if it is dementia, age and loss of sight. His appetite is actually much better as he has gotten older. So, as it stands he gets special snacks or additions to his dinners and I am making the rest of his life as good as I can.
Hi Melody,
Oscar sounds like a very special guy. What a blessing you have shared almost 21 years together! Thank you for telling us about your experiences. Wishing you and your sweet boy all the best. ♥
I’ve been surfing the web and came across this page. My boy Brucie will be 17 in March. He is an adorable cockapoo and has been my world as a single woman and now a married woman. We live in NYC. Brucie is blind, deaf suffers from Cushings and has dementia. For about a year now, the pacing at night has increased. I take him out around 3am and then every four -five hours until he goes to sleep with Trazadone and Gabapentin. It’s been quite hard on me and my husband. I do have the ability to spend the time I need with him but it’s getting harder and harder to leave the apt. I’ve found Bruice stuck in chairs, confused and behind couches. I’ve now adjusted to this so that he doesn’t get hurt and I block entrances to dangerous places.
My vet asked me some hard questions, and asked me to list 10 things that Brucie loves and what he can still love. The only thing that he loves is eating. This has not changed. And he knows when he goes out for his walk, he’ll have found when he comes back. When he’s out my neighbors can’t believe how good he looks (he walks about a block, does what he needs to do and turns around). He’s been wearing a diaper for several years now so I can’t really speak to the incontinence, altough he has had some pooping accidents from time to time, but I’ve been pretty on top of that with his walks.
So is it time? when will it be time? I just don’t know.
Dear Jody,
I am sorry you are in this difficult situation with Brucie. It can be so hard to decided when is best to say goodbye. I think the advice your vet gave you was good. While I am glad your boy is still eating and enjoys his food, I am not sure that a willingness to eat is enough to say he has a happy life or a good quality of life. From what you describe, he is struggling daily with restlessness, lack of sleep, confusion, anxiety, incontinence, and also has Cushing’s, is deaf and blind. When you step back and look at the bigger picture, saying goodbye may be the most loving option and only way to offer your sweet boy peace. Of course, without playing a personal role in his medical care it is hard for me to make specific recommendations. I can say that it is ok to consider euthanasia in this situation. It is ok to let go before all happiness is lost and the only thing that remains is pain and suffering. I hope you can find the answers you need to make the best decision for everyone involved. Praying for clarity and comfort. Bless you. ♥
These notes are comforting. Thank you for this post. My dog, Dublin, is now around 15 or 16 – he’s a Shih Tzu mix. He’s a rescue and I adopted him back in 2016 when he was around 7 or 8 they thought. He’s been such a champ managing life and hanging in there with CCD for over 3 years now. Anipryl, neurocare dog food, exercise and lots of care have been our world these last years. He has all the usual signs everyone has described here – weak back legs, pacing, goes when he wants to go (inside or out) and I swear his middle name is Danger because the little fella always gets himself into in precarious situations. I have every throw, pillow and blanket in my house tucked under every piece of furniture where he might get stuck. We’ve done add’l engagement with treats in games over the years but now the treats are just there, he can have them all. Dublin still enjoys his morning walks with zoomies or hippity hops as I like to call them. He loves sniffing around the grass and seems to get the most energy when he is in grass – I’m sure it feels good to him. He’s not ‘seen’ me for a long time but he still loves to eat and be close when I scoop him up at least for a few minutes. He’s in his own little world but he seems content and it’s not yet time. Recently, the rotating and circling has increased especially in the evening so we did a quality of life visit with our vet who has been really good for Dublin. Our vet lost his dog to CCD so he knows this path well. We decided that Dublin has crossed the threshold now and that humane euthanasia could be tomorrow or two months or whenever the next downgrade occurs. For now, he still has his hippity hops, morning and evening cuddles and eats like a horse. Dubs and I are grateful for these stories though, they bring his mama comfort as we navigate these next days and weeks. Hang in there, everyone and give them all the love while they’re still with you. I know once Dubs is gone, I’ll miss having my throws and pillows shoved under the furniture.
Hi Bethanie,
Dublin sounds like such an amazing little guy and I am glad he is still finding joy in his days. I wanted to let you know that I saw your other comment that was just posted today. I apologize I had not gotten to your original comment sooner. We receive hundreds of comments each month and sometimes get a bit behind trying to reply to each individual person and make sure their comment gets the personal attention it deserves. Thank you for sharing your story with us. Dublin is lucky to have you taking such good care of him and advocating for his well-being. I pray he has many good quality days ahead. Bless you and your sweet boy.
As I read through this article, I think my 14 yr old Pitbull has Severe Dementia, along with terrible Arthritis. I have a toddler, who shares a Birthday Month with our pup, and is turning 4 next month. I am struggling with how to approach and carefully navigate the end of life process with our son, and pup. Do we let him stay with her during the process, do we explain it and let him say goodbye, then go with the grandparents…I feel so lost in all this. We would like to do it at home, and feel like we’re prolonging the inevitable. In talking to our Vet, she’s probably not going to pass away at home naturally from this, which is what we would have wanted. Any guidance on children?
Dear Tanya,
My heart aches for you and your family as you face these last days with your beloved pup. I cannot speak for all children but can tell you what I have experienced in my own family and with many of my clients. Young children of that age generally are not very attentive to what is happening during the euthanasia process, especially if performed in their own home. They may come to see what you are doing but usually get quickly distracted and wander off to play or investigate something else. I would be surprised if he has any strong memories of your pup other than stories you will share or pictures he will see as he grows up. You get to decide what his memories consist of and can make sure to talk about all the happy times they shared. I know each child is different and cannot guarantee it will be a smooth process for your son, but I have not witnessed a bad experience on the part of a small child personally. Do what is easiest for you. If you want him to say his goodbyes and then give you some time to grieve without having to parent at the same time, sending him with the grandparents could be the best plan. Praying for a peaceful transition for everyone involved. Bless you and your family. ♥
I return to this blog post (and the comments) frequently for reassurance when I’m overwhelmed with grief and euthanasia guilt. Most posts about end of life care and determining quality of life focus on physical pain; there are very few blog posts like this that focus on dementia in dogs and the euthanasia question. Thank you for writing it.
I put my 15 year old (+ 2 months) Jewel to sleep last December (2023). She was a 45 lb, pit/collie/boxer mix, so she clearly had lived a good long life for her size. We couldn’t afford regular vet visits, thus I didn’t realize we were dealing with “dementia” until the very end. I just knew something was very wrong and she was rapidly losing her quality of life. Aside from becoming deaf in 2021, up until she was 14, no one could believe how old she was because she was so bright, strong, and energetic. Previously her only major health episode was a severe vestibular disease issue in Dec 2022 (and one relapse a couple months later). She spent a night in the hospital, couldn’t stand up for a week, ate via syringe, and had to learn to walk again (and not in circles), but knowing that recovery was possible with that type of issue, we supported her devotedly – and she also fought hard to recover. We had a wonderful last year with her where for the most part, she seemed happy and content (until the fall at least). There was a pronounced head tilt that remained, along with some residual balance issues (doing stairs solo and jumping into the car were no longer an option), but otherwise she still loved her walks, interacted with other dogs, and participated in family life.
I think one of the reasons I found this decision so difficult was that in so many ways from the perspective of someone at a distance, Jewel’s physical capabilities and well-being were far worse in Dec 2022 during the severe vestibular episode than they was when I made the euthanasia appt in Dec 2023. However, her mind was different. She seemed so tired. I knew we were heading downhill and at her age, things were not going to significantly improve. Still though, the contrast messed with my mind.
Now thinking back, there were signs of dementia even before the vestibular issue… when outside sometimes she seemed to get confused sometimes and couldn’t locate the path up to the house unless we led her to it. Also had times of what I now consider “dementia zoomies” where she zoomed around the yard with very little appreciation of what her physical capabilities were (terrifying!).
By the time we reached the fall of 2023, she would pace for hours around and around our main floor, which is in a donut shape, and would also get stuck in corners. Her back legs were weakening so she’d end up dragging one leg a bit, and by November they were collapsing on her regularly by the evening and increasingly so – but she still miraculously could get outside for a slow, steady walk most of the time (which, until the very end, she loved). However, the nights became truly awful in November. She’d sleep for maybe 3 hours and then be up circling, panting, pacing, and worst of all – howling until we woke up (she had never howled like that until Nov 2023, it was heart wrenching). Her circles became tighter and tighter… it was like her increasing cognitive decline made her lose resistance to the residual right-sided pull from the remaining symptoms of the vestibular disease and at the end she couldn’t even walk in circles through our donut shaped living space – just circled on the spot (I kept checking her eyes to see if it was a vestibular relapse, but there was no nystagmus). We tried melatonin, NSAIDs in case she was pacing due to pain, CBD, herbal dog pills to lower anxiety… and they helped a bit at first, but it was like we were chasing a cognitive decline that was going faster than we could keep up with.
Although she could sleep for long periods in the day, she’d also pace and circle throughout the day too and by November, if there was no one on the main floor she’d start (very uncharacteristically) howling again, which honestly made me feel bad for leaving her just to shower. Before her last year, she was a very chill dog.
I knew she had some “cognitive decline” as an old dog probably would have, but I didn’t realize until the end that she actually had pretty advanced dementia from what I’ve read. We went to the vet’s and got blood work done because I knew there was something very wrong. All her organs were totally fine and during our vet visit she didn’t display the most concerning symptoms, so I felt like maybe I was crazy making the euthanasia appt 2 weeks later, but it really seemed like she was in distress and overwhelmed by a world that had become so confusing for her.
We could have these great walks outside sometimes, but then inside, as she circled and circled, she’d get so tired… yet she couldn’t seem to stop herself. Her back legs would start collapsing or she’d fall into things. In the last week we were sleeping in the living room with her. I broke my heart to not carry her up to my bedroom where she has slept for years, and where she still clearly had the memory of sleeping… my room was too small and her pacing in such a small space made me lose my mind to be honest. I feel so bad for how frustrated I became initially. I had accepted the regular 4 am trip outside to pee, but I was so confused as to why she wouldn’t fall back to sleep. I wish I realized earlier that this was dementia so I could better understand what the stages looked like. It would have also helped me be more patient with her snappiness (especially at night when she was extra stressed). She would NEVER have bitten us before, but she did bite at the end. Not hard at all, but emotionally it was difficult because it was so unlike her.
She didn’t strongly notify us that she needed to go out to pee or poo, but she would rarely have an accident indoors, which also made me wonder if I was making this decision too early as many dogs that are put down are totally incontinent. She also still had an appetite even at the end (which again made me wonder if it was too soon)… but something weird was happening in the final weeks… it was like… she was forgetting how to eat properly? Does that make sense? Does that happen? She’d just kind of lick at the food and flick it on to the floor, or she’d eagerly begin chewing it but it would fall out the side of her mouth. I had to resort to hand feeding her to get food in her mouth and then because she was having a lot of trouble holding herself up while simultaneously eating (even with a raised bowl), I had to get someone to hold her up while I fed her by hand, or at other times she’d sink into lying on the floor and I’d feed her there.
She still remembered to drink water and remembered where her bowl was, but during her very last night she was so stressed, she started drinking water and didn’t stop. Drank way way more than she normally would have, and it seemed very compulsive. Thankfully I realized that she didn’t seem to know when to stop and was able to remove the water dish before she drank the whole thing.
I really found this decision torturous. It is hard to find her situation reflected in most blog posts I read, so I return to this one frequently to remind myself that I wasn’t crazy or awful to decide that it was time, before she suffered any further. It’s just… she was still peeing and pooping outside, eating, drinking, walking (although we were at the edge of losing this I am pretty sure, because she could only walk in a straight line with strong support)… she wasn’t as limited as she was a year prior during the worst of her vestibular disease… her awareness of her surroundings would come and go (not completely gone)… I don’t think she was physically on death’s door… I’m not sure she recognized other people (also wouldn’t greet anyone at the door anymore), but she recognized me as a safe person and would come to me for comfort still… it wasn’t all bad at the end… there were still many sweet moments of being with her when she was calm.
I certainly would never agree to euthanizing a dog just because they are “old” and “slow”. I liked caregiving for her (except for the nights, I gotta say, those were awful), but she was seeming more and more distressed. If it was just the physical issues with her back legs beginning to give out… and not the mental/emotional distress caused by dementia… I am pretty sure I would have waited longer and we would have done our best to accommodate and support her physically. But with her mind going, the hind leg issues just added to her stress, panic and disorientation.
Euthanasia guilt is the absolute worst. I know I’m far from being alone in experiencing that from what I’ve read, but truly it is a huge weight to carry and it is very difficult not to ruminate on the factors that led to the decision.
I love reading other people’s stories in the comments, so hopefully someone finds some reflection of their situation here that’s helpful.
Dear T,
My heart breaks for you with the difficult decision you had to make to spare your girl from any further suffering. I absolutely think you did what was best and have been in the exact same situation with one of my own. The ability to walk and willingness to eat does not mean a dog is happy or has a good quality of life. It is ok to let go when a beloved pup is no longer “living” and is merely existing. I am convinced that the suffering caused by mental disease is just as bad (if not worse) than physical disease. This is the cruel part of dementia… they seem so outwardly healthy to anyone looking at them who don’t truly know them. You knew your girl better than anyone and allowed your own heart to break so that she could find peace. There is no greater act of love than that. Thank you for sharing her story with us. May her memory be a blessing in your life, and I wish you brighter days ahead.
Our story sounds very similar to T. and Jewel. I have had my dog Tate (lab mix) since Sept 2009. My vet believes she was about 2 when she found me, so she is at least heading into her 17th year, 15 of those with me. Two years ago, she was diagnosed with pretty bad arthritis. in her back legs and started on meds. Things went great for a while, but I started over the last year noticing some issues that tick off a lot of the dementia boxes. I’m writing this because tomorrow I am calling my vet to meet about letting my girl go and I am struggling with the thought that I am quitting on her even though I know in my heart that it is time. It is beyond time and anything done now is just putting a band-aid on a bullet wound. She cannot walk up or down steps anymore. I pick her up and and carry her. I have been hand feeding her for most of the last year and I have to hold the water bowl for her to drink. T, in her story talks of Jewel flicking the food, and that’s similar to what Tate does. Her mouth is moving, but unless I am holding the food to it, she just smushes it against the bowl and with her water she will hold her mouth to it for 15 or so seconds until (so it seems) she remembers how to drink. I have had to put throw pillows under the edges of the bed because one day I came home from work to the most frightful cries. She was under the bed just with her head and couldn’t figure out how to get out. She will stare at the nightstand until I physically move her. Outside she will freeze in place for no apparent reason until I move her. Then she can restart walking until the next freeze. She paces the bedroom nightly and neither of us get much sleep. Sometimes she will jump up quickly like she has to go potty and we go outside where we will make endless left hand turns around the yard for 20, 30 minutes only to come back inside and potty on the floor. This has become an almost nightly occurrence. She has forgotten my boyfriend whom she has been in love with from day 1. She can’t hear anymore and although she still eats, she is just wasting away. Today I was home a large part of the day and after making 2 accidents in the house, she laid down and slept for 7 hours. I had to wake her up and pick her up to take her out to potty so I could leave. I think she still knows me, and she knows her sister and the cats, but other than the occasional “bebops” in the morning, she is not my same girl. I love this version of her, but I get so angry and frustrated and sad. I tell myself “treat her like your grandma” and I do, but I’m worn out. She is worn out. I’m trying hard not to think I’m quitting on her. My boyfriend says I’m not. My friends say I am doing right by her by planning to let her go, but it’s not like any other time I’ve had to decide to say goodbye. All those times there was some “medical” reason-something in-operable .or an injury there was no coming back from. This feels like I’m giving up, but there’s no better from here. I know she is tired. I’m just struggling. I was so grateful to find this page and these other lovely people working through this impossible time.
Dear Tiffany,
I am so sorry you are facing this emotional decision for Tate. I agree, her mental condition sounds like it has diminished and letting go may be the most loving option. You have done such a good job taking care of your girl. Being a full-time caregiver to a dog with dementia is SO HARD. You both deserve peace and rest. I am praying for your strength as you navigate this difficult path. Bless you and your sweet girl. ♥
Thank you so much for your comments. Your situation is exactly what I’m experiencing with my dog, including the vestibular disease. Please don’t feel bad about your decision to euthanize. I’m right behind you. Olivia (Ollie) is getting worse by the day and euthanasia is in the back of my mind a lot. You have given me the strength to make the right decision when the time comes. Thank you ❤️❤️
Dear Bonnie,
I am sorry you are facing this difficult decision for Olivia. I will keep you in my thoughts. Bless you both. ♥
I am writing this at 2:50 am. My dog woke up barking at 1:55 am. He used to get up, go to the bathroom and go right back to sleep. Now the last few weeks this. When I went downstairs, he had gotten trapped under a blanket. I had put it over him earlier to keep him warm. He is a 16.5 year old Chihuahua mix. He was abused before we got him at age 3. So he has never been a loving dog, but we have done the best for him. He has always been a fear aggression biter because of his prior abuse. He is blind, has terrible arthritis, has dementia and a heart condition. He soils inside daily. Even though we have him in a gated area with pee pads he soils his bed and blanket. My husband and I are both exhausted. He still eats and drinks. It’s terrible, but maybe there won’t be a 100% clear sign it’s time. I do know that him nor us have great quality of life with the night waking and barking. Our kids are still so upset by the thought of putting him down even though he is not affectionate at all or playful and never has been. It’s hard to justify when they still see him walking around, eating, and drinking. He does seem as if he struggles to stand while eating and get settled for sleeping. But maybe we are looking at this the wrong way.
Dear Beth,
My heart goes out to you as you face this difficult situation with your senior pup. From what you describe, it sounds like he is struggling, and I do think saying goodbye may be the most loving option. The problem with dementia is all the issues are mental and can’t really be seen from the outside. But I am convinced that the suffering caused by mental disease is just as bad, if not worse, than physical disease. I know you mentioned your boy is still eating and able to walk. I am not sure those things alone equal a happy or good quality of life. Would you say your boy is truly living or merely existing? And please know that your quality of life matters too! Caregiver fatigue is very real, and I can only imagine how stressful this has been on you and your family. I will attach links to other articles with more information. I am hopeful you will find the advice you need to make the best decision for everyone involved. Praying for peace and comfort for all. Bless you. ♥
1. Using a Quality of Life Scale for Dogs
2. When Caring For A Sick Pet Becomes Too Much: Pet Caregiver Fatigue
3. Preparing for Your Dog’s Euthanasia: 10 Thoughts for Peace
Thank you for this article on CCD. My shih tzu is 16 years old and I am having to deal with the difficult decision of his quality of life. He is blind, cannot hear, seizures, incontinence, along with other health issues. I stumbled upon this article as I was trying to find out what are factors of CCD as he has been staring at walls, stuck in corners, pacing, and stands still in rooms as if he does not know where he’s at. It makes it worse when he no longer can see. I am struggling very hard with his quality of life. He sleeps all day. He no longer is himself. This has been gradual through the years. I will have to make this hard decision sooner than later. I’m scared, sad, heartbroken. He needs to be free but I am struggling with guilt as his mom for 16 years but I know it’s time. He’s my complete world. It’s always been him and I in this life.
Dear Elisa,
My heart aches for you as you make this emotional decision for your senior guy. I know you would do anything to keep him with you, but it does sound like he is struggling. Saying goodbye may be the only way to offer your pup freedom and rest. I am sure he knows how much you love him. Hoping these last days are filled with comfort and peace. Bless you and your sweet boy.
I am so thankful for this article. I don’t feel as alone now as I’m also up at midnight agonizing what to do. Gunner is an 11.5 year old lab and I didn’t get him diagnosed with CCD until last week, but realize this probably has been an issue for over a year and just came to a crisis point when I took him to the vet. I initially thought it was just his eyesight going at night, but then last week I would be awakened to him just standing and crying in the dark alone, in rooms he never frequented before. He was also just scared going room to room.
The doctor gave us gabapentin and said I could also use trazadone if the gabapentin didn’t seem to be enough. The first night on gabapentin worked, but here we are on night three and we are back to where we were when I took him to the vet. I was awakened by him crying, scared to go anywhere in the house.
I would also add he’s never been a runner, but tonight he got loose while it’s 8 below outside, and first time ever I had to get into the car and find him. He obviously enjoyed his outing, but it was horrible for me.
I feel so guilty even thinking about putting him down, because he was just diagnosed and I’m hoping I find a balance with meds and all, but you can just tell he’s not happy. Am I doing these drugs for him or me?
Gunner’s life used to be independent from me the majority of the day, investigating things wherever he could, long walks/hikes, endless games of ball retrieval, barking when people came for greeting, summers at the beach. Now he’s not happy unless he’s on a car ride or walk. Those times at home are now filled with panic/discomfort and not doing much, and he’s become very clingy.
I love Gunner to the moon and back, but I always promised when quality of life was lost, I would let him go. It’s just hard because physically otherwise he’s in great shape, and now reading others’ comments, it helps knowing others have had this same struggle.
I’m off to try to sleep again, and will try adding trazadone if needed.
Yes, that line isn’t as clear as I thought it would be and it’s killing me.
Dear Christina,
My heart aches for you with all you are facing with Gunner. I can only imagine how difficult and stressful things must be each day, especially after so many restless nights. Trust your intuition. You know Gunner better than anyone. Is he truly living or just existing? It is ok to let go before all joy is lost and the only thing that remains is anxiety and struggles. I am hopeful you will know when the time is right and have the strength to make the loving choice to offer your sweet boy freedom and peace. Praying for clarity as you navigate this unknown path. Bless you both. ♥
I am so thankful for this article.. As I sit here and cry, as I have every day for the past three weeks since I put my beloved Scout to sleep, I honestly don’t think I will ever get over her and my decision. She was my best buddy for the last 10 years and I loved her more than anything. She was a border collie mix, almost 15, and was in what appears was the severe stage of dementia. She also had a perianal cancerous tumor that had been surgically removed a couple of years ago but had grown back so was bothersome to her, and a bad/weak knee on her hind leg. But I gave her pain meds for both as surgery was not an option due to age, etc., and, as with many other things she had and ultimately recovered from (vestibular disease, etc.), she was such a trooper and was always so happy and just kept on going working around her challenges with her amazingly bright eyes, spirit and energy. In the last year or so I started to notice odd behavior like going to strange places in the house, getting caught on the wrong side of doors, laying in strange places, and I had to guide her to the correct side of the slider door to go out. She then started getting increasingly more active at night and during her last weeks was pacing nearly or the whole night and a couple of times had gotten caught between furniture and walls/beds and was crying for me to pull her out which tore me up. During the day I was having to guide her many times to navigate in the garage or in the house, etc., but she just kept going and we worked through it together. She had also had a couple of accidents in the house, but, due to her other issues, I was not sure if the dementia caused it because the surgery for the tumor left her with a bit of difficulty with controlling defecating. In the last year, I developed a health issue as well and was feeling like I was deteriorating due to lack of sleep and energy depletion to care for her. It broke my heart to have those thoughts. Worrying about myself and being concerned about keeping the house clean or going around after her were never factors before and it felt so wrong. And even with all her struggles I still felt like if I could have asked her she would have said she was not ready to go. Nothing could take her down. She still loved her food, walks, and being silly running through the house. Our bond was still there. Even the very morning I took her to the vet after she had paced all night she still leapt through the door from outside and ran through the house jumping over her bed with her one bad leg and flew into the kitchen for her morning treats. An hour later I was putting her down and I don’t know how I was able to extinguish that energy and I feel like I had no right to do it. I was so conflicted. I had been so worried something really bad was imminently going to happen and I wouldn’t be able to manage her if I needed to carry her a distance or something. I prayed about it the day before on our last walk after giving her a couple of great days with everything she loved and felt I was given a sign to move forward with it and almost felt like something more powerful than me was making the decision even as I almost called it off while she was on the table at the vet. This was the first time I have had to make the decision rather than feeling like the dog told me it was time. And I still wonder if I could have tried sleeping meds and diapers to help the situation but diapers were tough with the tumor and I know sleeping meds would have had there own adverse effects. But I will never get over her or the heartbreak . She will forever inspire me to keep going with my own health challenge as she did when she was still here with me. Thank you Scouty, I love you and I hope you forgive me💔
Dear Monica,
My heart aches for you with your recent loss of Scout. It is clear from your words that she was dearly loved, and I am certain she knew. No one could read your story and think that you made this choice out of convenience. Scout was struggling and you made the selfless decision to allow your own heart to break so that she would not have to suffer needlessly. What a blessing you were able to offer your girl the peace and rest she deserved. It is definitely ok to let go while there is still some joy, before all happiness is lost and the only thing that remains is confusion and pain. I hope with time your heart will begin to heal and the grief will fade. Wishing you brighter days ahead and may the memories of the good times you shared stay with you always. ♥
I have a 16 year old chihuahiua who has been with me since he was a tiny puppy. I have great memories of him growing up. In the last 3 years, he gradually lost his sights and has been totally blond for more than a year now. But despite that, he has not lost interest in living. He still did his routines of roaming the garden, eating his favorite food.. when he still had his eyesights, he used to gravitate to my handicapped brother, he would cling to my brother when my brother was having seizures or discomfort. . My dog would follow him like he wanted to protect my brother. I noticed my dog had that natural instinct.. now that he has been blind completely blind for more than a year, he just stayed at his bed most of the time. And the other day, i noticed signs of late stage dementia: he was soiling inside the house, barking late at night, barking at no one. Not usre if he was in pain or ainply disoriented(actually, he had been barking in the middle of the night for more than a week now like he had a nightmare or something. And yesterday, he started circling around his small room., looking restless, would not lay down , he would not eat. I thought of putting him to sleep.. but the thought of that .. i dont know.. it breaks my heart. My dog still has strong legs and can still stand and walk.. is it right to end his life now? It breaks my heart to make this decision.
Dear Vill,
I am sorry your senior guy is struggling, and I understand why you are concerned. Making a decision to let go can be very difficult and is often not straight forward. From what you describe, your boy is dealing with anxiety, confusion, sleep deprivation, incontinence, and lack of appetite daily. I know you mentioned his legs are strong and he is able to walk, but I am not sure that alone offers much quality of life. Sometimes saying goodbye is the most loving option and only way to offer a beloved dog freedom from their suffering. I will attach links to other articles with more information and guidance on making this emotional decision. Wishing you strength and peace to face the days ahead. Bless you and your sweet boy.
1. Using a Quality of Life Scale for Dogs
2. How Will You Know When It’s Time to Euthanize Your Dog? 5 Caring, Heartfelt Messages
3. Preparing for Your Dog’s Euthanasia: 10 Thoughts for Peace
4. Dog Euthanasia: Knowing When to Say Goodbye
In November of 2023 we put our sweet Macy down. Our almost 13 year old shih tzu terrier. She “wasn’t herself” for quite some time before we made the difficult decision. Doing circles, pacing, no longer wagging her tail, lack of interest, and shivering. We think she had some hearing and sight decline. Occassional soiling and what seemed to be short seizures that became more and more frequent. I really struggled with knowing if she was suffering or not and often whispered to her “please let me know when you’re ready”. Last off she whimpered while lying on the couch and I just knew it was time. It had been a while since she was comfortable enough to cuddle in our arms, and the morning I put her down she couldn’t get close enough to me in my arms. It was like she was the old Macy and she was thanking me. As hard as it was to do, the more I think about it, I feel she was ready long before I had made the decision. It was such a peaceful experience and it was a relief to see her resting so comfortably. Their love is unwavering and we owe it to them to let them rest when they are no longer having any fun. It’s the last act of love. Thank you for this page. It reinforces that I made the hardest but best decision for her.
Dear Angela,
Your words are beautiful. It is clear Macy was a cherished companion and dearly loved. Thank you for sharing your story with us. May her memory live on and continue to be a blessing in your life. ♥
Thanks you for this posting and the comments that have been made. This past Monday, I had to say goodbye to my beloved 15-year old Welsh Terrier Schubert. I raised him since he was 10-weeks old and we were inseparable. About 3 years ago, he developed liver cancer which we operated and was able to treat with medication and diet. But then he faced issues such as loss of hearing, glaucoma and osteoarthritis which were debilitating but not lethal. The one issue he developed over the past year is CDD where he started pacing around the house at all hours of the day and night, getting stuck behind furniture, standing in front of a wall, and relieving himself indoors (which was never the case previously).. One of the hardest parts of this disease is that he expressed no pleasure in living as he never wagged his tail, held his lead down, never engaged with me, and often just mopped around the house aimlessly. In the past week at night he would tremble uncontrollably when I brought him to bed. As an owner, I thought the sign where I should take action to euthanize would occur when he refused to eat his food or was listless and layed around all day. Unfortunately, this disease does not effect the diet or his energy level (at least in Schubert’s case) so it was exceedingly hard to consider euthanizing him. After spending time trying to understand the disease, I begin to realize that Schubert was not living but existing. He did not have the life that he previously had and it became a torment to him as well as me. As such, I decided this past Monday to say my goodbye to my sweet and adorable pal. I don’t think I’ve ever spent as much time with anyone in my 63 years of life as I had with Schubert and probably never will. It has left me with a void and a sense of melancholy, purpose and emptiness. I know this will take time for me to heal and although he exceeded the maximum life expectancy of his breed, I still feel a void. In time, I hope I will look back at my action as a blessing as it spared him from further suffering and sorrow.
Dear Schubert’s Dad,
My heart aches for you with your recent loss of Schubert. I can only imagine how difficult it was to say goodbye, but I am convinced that it was the most loving option. It is clear your boy was dearly loved, and I am certain he knew. I hope with time your heart will begin to heal and you will find peace. May his memory live on and be a blessing in your life.
We recently made the decision to euthanize our Kona – it will be done in a few days. She’s 15.5 years old and has been with us for over 14 years. She was my long-distance running partner for the first 10 years, and we created an incredibly strong bond through that. But we both had to stop running a few years ago (due to my physical issues). She has always been the sweetest and protective girl. Two years ago she started exhibiting panting caused by pain which was diagnosed as arthritis in her hips. She’s been on increasing pain killers and medications for over a year, but none of them seem to really help her. In the last year she’s showed progressive signs of dementia – standing in a corner, sleeping more, wandering around the house aimlessly, soiling inside almost daily, no interest in playing. But she still shows me affection and interacts with our 4 year old dog. Yet I know she is not happy and is in pain. It’s our duty and honor to help end her pain and cognitive dysfunction. But it’s one of the most difficult decisions I have ever had to make. She is the dog that showed me the joys of dog ownership – she will forever be my best dog.
Dear Cari,
I am sorry you are facing this emotional decision for Kona. She sounds like an amazing pup, and you have made some wonderful memories together. I know her absence will be felt immensely but pray her legacy will live on and be a blessing in your life. Praying her passing is smooth and peaceful. Bless you and your sweet girl.
I had to put my sweet boy down a week ago today. The grief is hard! He was with me for 11 years, I adopted him as an older dog and was at least the 4th home he lived in. I think he had several rough starts! He was probably neglected and was simply unable to potty train. I cannot tell you the amount of carpets and rugs we replaced through the years! It was maddening, but I loved him! He was literally my 1st child and my support thru 5 years of child loss and pain, until I finally had my human son. He was my heart, always by my side! Still always with me even when the baby came. Then I just had 2 boys, one furry.
In 2017 he was diagnosed with skin cancer, We had it removed and he was seemingly cancer free. In 2019 he had lens luxation, so he had to have his eye removed. He always had one blue eye that didn’t see well and then he had to have his “good eye” removed. As he got older he was mostly blind and eventually deaf. The funny thing was, as the dementia kicked in, he just lost the desire to pee everywhere and was suddenly a housebroken dog! He started sleeping a lot and stopped wanting to sleep in my bed, he seemed to want to be upstairs in that bed, away from the other 2 100+lb dogs and the rest of the busy household. Eventually he was too frail to jump off the bed, so he transitioned to a plush doggie bed on the floor, with a pillow, and lots of blankets bc he has always ran cold. B/c he was upstairs we kept the door closed so he couldn’t fall down the stairs. I’d wait to hear his toes tapping on the wood floors, which meant I would go upstairs, carrying him down, take him to potty, drink and feed him and make sure any needs he had were met. Sometimes he would just stand frozen outside, but other times he’d manage to walk all the way back into the house and to the water bowl. Eventually, he seemed to be uncomfortable being anywhere except upstairs sleeping for 20hrs a day. He’d just stand at the foot of the stairs waiting for me to carry him up and put him in his bed. Sometimes I wondered if he even knew me anymore, but about 9 months ago I went on a trip and he was with a dog sitter, when I got home I heard him cry with excitement from upstairs and he actually wanted to cuddle with me, so I knew he was somewhat still mentally there!! A few months ago I took another trip, but when I got home, there really wasn’t any signs of him missing me, which was sad but he still seemed content and comfortable. He’d always sniff me when I picked him up and clearly recognized me by smell, but I think that just became part of the pattern/schedule we had. Friends would make comments like “You’re just a constant care taker.” But, I was happy to be that bc I loved him and he had always cared for me in his younger days.
A few weeks ago I started noticing his heart was always beating hard when I had picked him up, as if he had been startled. Then the day after Thanksgiving he had bad diarreah all over his room. He’d never done that. That continued for the next 2 days and he had stopped eating much. Oh boy did I cry, bc I knew his body was tired and losing control. I took him to a vet that I had never been to that was open on a Sunday. She listened to his heart and explained it didn’t sound good. She asked if he was coughing or panting, which he wasn’t. She explained that they could give him meds to help his heart, but it wouldn’t fix it, simply prolong the inevitable, that the meds would probably make him feel sick bc he’s not eating and eventually the symptoms she asked about would start bc his lungs would start to accumulate fluid. I knew in my heart that I didn’t want him to go through being discontent. Just as he helped me through my fertility struggle, I now had to help him through this. The vet was kind enough to say she thought I was making a good choice. Regardless, it hurts. I miss caring for him. I still sometimes just do the routine of going outside in the freezing cold at the times when I would take him out to potty, bc I just miss him and the times we had. The relationship interactions changed in later years, but the routunes we established still represented the love we shared for 11 year. I miss you Diddster!
Dear Jill,
My heart goes out to you with the recent loss of your beloved boy. He sounds like a once in a lifetime kind of pup and I have no doubt he knew how much he was loved. Thank you for sharing his story with us. He will never be forgotten. May his memory live on and always be a blessing in your life. ♥
Thank you for this read. I have a 14 year old golden doodle who is 14 today. DCM last few years and now losing connection with hind legs. Dementia has set in and anxiety is high. Paces so much and I hear his paw dragging as he does. Has to be by my side or paces or deep deep sleep during the day when we think is he still even breathing. Or constant panting. I think it is time but it is hard as he still seems to have some “life” left in him. I know he still knows us and loves us. All this sharing reinforces what my vet said a few weeks ago. We will have a decision between thanksgiving and Christmas. Talk with my family. Help them to understand. When my 16 year old today said she thinks it is time, it broke my heart because I think she is correct. I’m heartsick.
Dear Mary Beth,
My heart aches for you as you face this difficult decision for your senior boy. Letting go will break your heart but it may be the only way to offer your sweet boy freedom from his struggles. I have no doubt he knows how much he is loved. Praying for your strength and comfort for everyone involved. Bless you and your family. ♥
My dog Doobie has been my best friend and baby for almost 17 years. We grew up together from when I was 9 years old. He’s had his health troubles over the years and taken various medications to help with his unexplained barking (which we thought was anxiety but maybe it was the start of his dementia). As his cognitive health has continued to decline, he’s been on a cocktail of pills (which he absolutely hates taking), but of course there is no miracle cure so he continued barking, having accidents everywhere, being restless and agitated constantly, and becoming so snappy he did not want to be touched at all.
Two days before Christmas he had his first seizure. It was so scary and I couldn’t help but think this might be the end for my sweet Doobie. But the emergency vet sent us home with instructions on what to do if he had another seizure. Well spoiler alert but he had 3 more seizures in the past 2 weeks. Each time it’s happened I could see the fear in his sweet eyes for hours afterwards as he paced around, his poor old brain trying to work out what was going on. It took him so long to recover from each episode and it is so heartbreaking to watch. I know it’s going to keep happening more and more and there’s nothing I can do to help him in those moments except be with him and speak reassuring words.
Yesterday I made the decision that it is almost his time to pass on. It haven’t stopped crying since. I’m trying not to be selfish and keep him here longer than he can handle. Outsiders don’t seem to understand – they see his good appetite and happiness as he walks around, but they don’t see him at home walking in confused circles for hours, drinking so much water and having accidents everywhere, wobbling on his feet and even falling over when he’s standing still, and jolting around like he’s experiencing tics or something. But the outsiders do get to me. I cry even harder because there’s no way to know if this is the right time or if I’m stealing precious days of happiness from him. I just want the best for him. And
Reading these blog posts have been so helpful to me and hopefully equipped me with the right information and mindset to do what’s right for Doobie. He’s lying next to me right now, breathing heavily, but with a belly full of roast chicken. We will go to the park later to enjoy more quality time together. It hurts so badly to count down the days we have left together, but I’m thankful to spend time with him before we have to say goodbye. This might be the hardest loss I have ever dealt with, and I think I will feel it for a very long time. I love you so much Doobie
Dear Sophie,
My heart aches for you as you face this emotional decision for Doobie. It is obvious he is dearly loved, and I am certain he knows what a big part of your life he has been. I wish I could take this grief from you. But allowing your own heart to break so Doobie can find peace and freedom is the ultimate act of selfless devotion. Praying for your strength and comfort. Bless you and your sweet boy. ♥
I have had my 14 and a half pit bull since he was 7 weeks. Over the last few years he has lost more and more control of his bladder. For the last 14 months he has worn diapers. Now, even with the diapers I’m still cleaning up ring 3 or 4 times a day even though I try to let him out as much as he will go. In the last 6 months he has started pacing almost every night. He still seems mostly happy, loves to eat and can still trot around in excitement. He seems mostly there but the constant stress is taking a major toll on both of us. I just can’t bring my self to euthanize him when he still seems to have so much life in him and so much love to give. Idk what to do and it’s tearing me apart. Just like you said in your article, I feel so guilty. How am I supposed to live knowing he could have had a bother year or two if I’d have just been more patient.
Dear S,
My heart aches for you as you face this difficult situation with your senior guy. I have lived this myself and would not wish this on anyone. It is so hard to deal with the daily stress of caregiving when a beloved pup still seems to be fairly healthy and active. That is the ultimate tragedy of dementia. It ends up breaking the bond we share with our dog, which is incredibly unfair and cruel. Here is a link to another article that may be helpful: When Caring For A Sick Pet Becomes Too Much: Pet Caregiver Fatigue
Ultimately, I want you to know that it is ok to say goodbye before all joy is lost and the only thing that remains is struggling and pain. I would rather say goodbye one day too early than one day too late and allow unnecessary suffering. I hope you can find the advice you need to make your way forward along this emotional path. Praying for your strength and comfort. Bless you and your sweet boy. ♥
This article really helps me to understand how common dementia with our fur babies I have a 15 year old min pin who has been battling dementia for a couple of years. She is now on four medication‘s to help keep her calm and help her to sleep, even though she still sleeps at the most five hours. I’ve been exhausted, but like others. I feel like I don’t want to give up on her just because she is, a lot of work. I want to do what’s right for her and I’m trying to work with the vets to help me make that decision. I know we are towards our end and then it’s gonna be so hard when the day comes.
Hi Dawn,
So sorry to hear that your beloved min pin is one of the many senior dogs who struggle with dementia. Caring for a dog with dementia is definitely a labor of love, and it sounds like you are doing a wonderful job trying to keep her comfortable and happy for as long as possible. I hope that you are able to have clarity and comfort when the time comes to say goodbye to her, and that you will know without a doubt that you have given her a wonderful life. You are in my thoughts as you walk through these last days, weeks, or months together. ❤️
We put our sweet toy poodle, Dahlia, to sleep a few weeks ago, just shy of her 17th birthday. She had been a lively, curious, athletic and affectionate dog and we collected many wonderful memories over the years. Because of her size it was easier for her to travel with us to fun places when she was healthy. She was little and could be carried easily so when she became older and frail, and when she eventually became incontinent even her messes were pretty small, so that made managing her a lot easier than it would’ve been for a bigger dog. We knew the end was coming for awhile. Her arthritis had prevented her from using steps for over a year. Over the summer, she slept most of the time, showed confusion, stopped wagging her tail or responding to her name, and her feet slipped out from under her a lot. She had always loved sleeping in the bedroom with my husband and me but started trembling in the evenings and stopped wanting to sleep in our bedroom. We had started her on arthritis medication but then progressed to medicating against the CCD, as well. At the end of the summer, one poignant moment was when I saw an unknown loose dog on the sidewalk without its owner in the neighborhood. I made eye contact with this dog and talked sweetly to try to coax it towards me so I could read its tag. Just that communication was enough for the dog to react with a tail wag and a start. Thankfully this dog ended up reunited with it’s owner so had a happy ending. But I mention this because it was at that moment – where I processed this other dog’s vigorous reaction to me – when I realized that I had already lost Dahlia in a sense. One bittersweet aspect of CCD is that Dahlia had always been uptight around other dogs but as the dementia progressed she became almost docile around other dogs. Finally, I could meet a chat with other dog parents without her yapping in the background! Funny as this was, of course I knew this meant she was losing her sense of self. Then, the last few weeks of her life everything fell apart, physically and mentally. She couldn’t walk in a straight line. She suddenly stopped sleeping day or night and had a compulsion to pace to exhaustion / falling and whine and give a sharp bark throughout the night. We tried different pain and sedating medications hoping for quick relief and nothing worked. She was often hiding or getting stuck in furniture or under bushes in the yard. She bumped her head hard against walls and cabinets and sometimes tilted her head and stumbled. Trembled a lot. Went seemingly completely blind and without smell as she couldn’t find food and lost the coordination or strength in her mouth to chew soft foods. She still ate chicken soup at the end when we brought it to her mouth, thankfully. We had a breathing emergency a week before she died – Dahlia woke up struggling to breathe one night and this lasted for a minute then mysteriously resolved and later the vet never found out the cause. Not sure if she had some narrowing or blockage in her nose as towards the end she struggled to find a comfortable position to sleep and sometimes seemed to breathe hard when falling asleep or if it was just part of her anxiety. At the end I asked the vet if she had a brain tumor. I think he knew I was looking for the kind of closure you don’t get with canine cognitive dysfunction. He compassionately said it was possible, but that an MRI at this point was not practical, given her condition. I miss her so much. I’m crying because it hurts so much that she’s gone, but my heart feels at peace knowing she isn’t struggling anymore. I guess guilt is a natural part of grieving, especially with euthanasia and on top of that for canine dementia. But here’s one thing the vet said to me that I keep reminding myself of when the guilt sets in: when your pet’s quality of life is so diminished, giving your pet a peaceful and painless goodbye is a gift. The pain of grief is the sacrifice you make to release your pet of their pain and suffering.
Dear Dahlia’s Mom,
The grief and pain you are learning to work through is shared by so many who come to this page for comfort. I am glad you were willing to share your story with us and allow others to find peace in your words. Letting go is so hard. But your vet is right…. we allow our own hearts to break so a beloved pup can find freedom from their struggles. There is no greater act of selfless love than that. We focus on giving them a good life, but they also deserve a dignified goodbye as well. I hope with time your heart will begin to heal. May Dahlia’s memory live on and be a blessing in your life.
Thanks for the read. My dog Mox is a 15 yr old Siberian Husky. His back legs are giving out, which makes him not want to lie down. So he paces around not knowing what to do. Then he started with his incontrollable bowl movements….to the point he is doing it just lying down. He was good with urinating outside but has recently started to go more and more inside. He is also a more “skittish”, backing away even when being asked to pet. For the first time, we are considering euthanasia. However, he still has a good appetite and seems to know who we are so it makes it difficult and I don’t know the right thing to do. Thinking about getting a Vet’s advice but fear they will just prescribe and prolong. This is a tough one for me.
Dear Mike,
I understand how difficult this decision can be and wish you did not have to face it with your beloved pup. When a dog’s quality of life starts to decline, they enter into a “window” of time where euthanasia is a good option but may not be urgent. Mox may have just entered his window, but that doesn’t mean that saying goodbye is wrong. It can be the most loving option and only way to give him freedom from his struggles and offer peace. I do think it would be good to get your vet’s honest opinion. You could also consider contacting a vet that specializes in hospice care and in home euthanasia. Wishing you clarity and strength as you navigate this emotional path. Bless you.
This response really hit home with me tonight. After a conversation with friends this evening about changes in my dog over the last two months made me think of researching doggy dementia. One of my friends had asked if I had thought of putting Peabody down.
I adopted a 15 year old cockapoo last March. He started peeing in the house about 4 months ago which led to the discovery of a UTI. After treatment and confirmation that it was gone, he continued to pee inside more than usual and added pooping to the new routine. He would walk and poop at the same time without even stopping AND he would drink and pee at the same time without knowing it! He has bad arthritis in his hind legs making it difficult to squat. The vet started him on some medication – 1/2 tab 2x day. At first I did one tab in the morning and it seemed to help. 2 tabs a day the last two weeks. Helps some but he ends up sitting in it then struggling to get up, requiring a “half bath’ when he comes in. Sometimes it happens every other day, sometimes on once or twice a week. He used to love bathtime but is now somewhat fearful.
About the time the UTI started, my dog starting having syncope, fainting spells, usually having to do with getting overly excited and either peeing or pooping as part of the process, sometimes before, sometimes after. The syncope ended for several weeks after the UTI was gone. He has had one a week for the last three weeks now. Two were short and quiet. One lasted almost two minutes. I heard him yelping when he went down and rushed to see his little legs just “running in air.” Then he quieted down and finally came out of it as if nothing happened.
In the last week, I have added 4 more 3ft sq pee pads to my ‘dog decor’ to cover most of the walking path around the house. I have to keep him in the same room I am in to keep him from wandering. Not aimless wandering, however, but out of character. He will sneak off behind my back and go to the end of the hall and pee on the pad there then sneak back. He used to bark to let me know he needed to go out. The only think he barks for now is more water or more food, in that order.
Food had been a challenge since the his, a Purina special order (main ingredients salmon and sweet potatoes with lots of Omegas and senior additives), was discontinued 3 months ago. The first brand after that didn’t seem to be satisfying. He was always hungry. I changed to a better brand with chicken since salmon wasn’t available at the store. A little better. Third time was almost a charm. This bag was the same brand as the last except with salmon. Half way through the bag, it takes him all morning to clean his bowl and sometimes he doesn’t eat everything. This is a dog that would eat the same amount of food in less than 2 minutes ALL the time. Eating has NEVER been a problem with him.
Your article and some of the responses have made me realize more symptoms of doggy dementia than I had seen. I keep my dog confined to one room when I am away. For the first 7 months, I could be gone up to 6 hours and there was never an accident until August. Recently, I’ve had to block off a portion of the bedroom and the bathroom so he doesn’t get stuck in a corner. I come in and find him barking at a wall or corner or mirror and not knowing what to do next and just walking past me when he sees I’m there. One day he got behind the bathroom door and started scratching to get out. I don’t know how he did it but he pulled out a “hinge-pin doorstop”. This happened on two different occasions.
In the last month I’ve seen him standing and staring and just start to shiver. He has started panting heavily almost every waking hour and has a cough that is more prevalent when waking up. Some days he won’t even go outside. He used to love to hide in the bushes but doesn’t anymore.
Sleep habits have changed slightly. He used to take shorter naps but will go back to sleep after breakfast and sleep till mid afternoon. At night he starts pacing and sometimes gets very agitated. But, if I turn out all the lights except the TV, he goes directly to his bed and curls up in it and sleeps all night. He used to prefer the floor. Peabody will be 16 in 2 months.
So many subtle changes in the last 1 to 4 months but they are getting more numerous. I can deal with most but the peeing and pooping are the hardest to deal with. I’m someone who runs a load of laundry a week but now do a load almost every day because of towels and pee pads. I feel so guilty, but reading this and several other articles, I see the writing on the wall now. Years ago when I had to put my second dog down, my vet said, “When you think this is the day, wait another day and if you still feel the same, then it is time. If not, wait another day.” I’m going to make an appointment with my vet for as soon as possible and wait at least one more day. That is what I would ask of my caregiver if I had the option.
How will you know? You just will.
Dear Peabody’s Mom,
My heart goes out to you as you face this emotional decision for your little guy. I am glad the article and comments of other readers have offered some clarity and support. From what you describe, saying goodbye may be the most loving option and only way to give your boy the peace and rest he deserves. Allowing your own heart to break so he can be free of his struggles is the biggest act of selfless love I know. Wishing you comfort and strength as you face the days ahead. Bless you and your sweet boy. ♥
Hi Mike
wow I’ve just read your story. my dog is also going on 15, he is a siberian husky and his name is Max. we rescued him 4 years ago from his previous owners whom didn’t give him a good life. he has had a great 4 years with us but now we are in the same situation as you.
sorry about your Mox, what have you decided to do?
Hi Tamelyn,
So sorry to hear that you are in the same heartbreaking situation as Mike. Max sounds like he is one lucky guy to have gotten to spend the past four years with you, and it is clear you care deeply for him. I hope you are able to find clarity and peace as you make decisions for your beloved Max.
So glad I found this website. I have a 14 yr old springer spaniel Zoe who has always been very anxious and barked whenever she was left even though she had two other dogs to keep her company. About a year ago she was diagnosed with dementia and then 3 months ago she was diagnosed with idiopathic vestibular disease. The last couple of months iv found her decline, she paces mom stop, goes room from room, stares at the wall and just doesn’t seem there sometimes. Has also started toileting in the house nearly most nights. It’s heartbreaking to see her like this and she must be driving herself crazy with the pacing. We are considering that it could be time to say goodbye as we have another spaniel Milly who is 15 and we have made the decision it’s definitely time to say goodbye to her as her health has taken a turn for the worse and there’s nothing more we can do for her. The vet mentioned about saying goodbye to them together 😢 but it’s just so hard to even think about saying goodbye to Zoe when she’s still running around and fit as a fiddle but mentally she just isn’t right but then I think how will she cope without Milly and will this effect her even more. I think we know what the right thing to do is, it’s just so hard to come to terms with it. I also have two young children and I do worry Zoe may become aggressive with her dementia.
Dear Kat,
I am sorry you are facing this extremely difficult decision for both Zoe and Milly. It sounds like you know what is best, but your heart is struggling to come to terms with it all. I understand and can’t imagine how emotional this will be for you and your family. You are making a selfless choice to allow your own heart to break so your sweet girls will not have to suffer needlessly. I cannot think of any greater act of love than that. Wishing you comfort and peace as you face the days ahead. Bless you all. ♥
Thank you so much for this article, and to all the commenters who have such similar stories as mine. my sweet Carly started pacing last November and slowly progressed to circling and getting stuck behind furniture by April. Her legs are weak and I carry her up and down stairs. the carry harness has helped tremendously so I can lift her when she falls. Walks have become so difficult because I need constant pressure on the leash to go forward and not to the right and back. But I thought as long as she enjoyed walking and sniffing, ate her food and seemed content with me then we would go on this way. The accidents in the house have increased. I haven’t slept through the night since at least June. The anti anxiety meds she is getting before bed have helped, but she is still restless. I woke up last night to noises at 3 am and she was stuck under the bed. I just want her to live out her life, but she is clearly becoming unhappy. This week I started feeling an essential part of her that connected her to me was gone. I know it is time to let her go. But all I can do is cry. I’ll make this decision and still wonder if it was right. Thank you for all of the thoughts in this article. It helps.
Dear Laura,
I am so sorry you are facing this emotional decision for Carly. I know you want to do what is best for her and sometimes the most loving option is to offer them peace and freedom from struggling. I am glad you found some comfort and guidance from the article and other’s comments. Praying for your strength as you navigate this difficult path. Bless you both. ♥
Today we are letting my 17 year old Max go. He constantly wanders and doesn’t know when to stop. He was my shadow but now he doesn’t know who I am. It’s breaking my heart. He has that 1000 mile stare. He has been the dog of my soul, my once in a lifetime dog. But it helps knowing I’m not alone by reading everyone’s comments. I keep telling myself I’m releasing him from his constant confusion and any physical pain he is in. They say it’s being selfless and I’m giving him a gift but I don’t feel that way.
Dear Crissi,
I am so sorry for your loss of Max. You made a choice that you knew would break your heart just so your sweet boy could find peace. There is no greater act of selfless love than that. Wishing you comfort and healing as you continue life’s journey. Bless you.
Laura
Your response made me cry. I also have a Carly and she is exhibiting very similar behaviour. I cannot decide what to do and feel exhausted and emotional.
Dear Helen,
I am sorry Carly is struggling and you are in this difficult situation. Wishing you clarity in your decisions making and praying for your comfort and peace.
Thanks – much appreciated
This article has given me a lot to think about. my Jack Russell mix, Babygirl, has been dealing with CCD for a little over a year. She is 18 years old. Around February, 2023, I started seeing signs of pacing, barking, accidents around the house. I took her to the vet, where she was put on trazadone. I’ve since had to increase her dosage, as it is becoming more and more ineffective. At the beginning of spring, she still had some enjoyment going outside. Now, she is at a point where she no longer wants to go outside, she doesn’t enjoy laying in the sun anymore, and she does not get excited when we come home. it’s almost as if she doesn’t recognize anyone anymore. she is also going blind and deaf. I almost feel as if she is just a shell of who she was. She likes to go upstairs, but she struggles to go up and down. She has fallen several times down the stairs as well, and it scares me to death, because I work and not always here to help her. My mother had a stroke a little less than a year ago, and is not able to help her up and down stairs, and I’m concerned for both of their safety. She has very frequent accidents around the house to the point we can’t put our rugs down. I have very recently been struggling with the decision to euthanize her. This article I think has helped me to make a very tough decision. It bothers me so much because she still eats and drinks. Mentally, I believe she is suffering. I just keep asking myself if I am making the right decision? I have yet to discuss with my vet. Any advice would be so helpful.
Dear Angela,
My heart aches for you as you face this difficult decision for Babygirl. It sounds like you already know that saying goodbye is the only way to give your sweet girl freedom from her struggles and just need to hear from someone else that it is ok. From what you describe, I agree that choosing to “let go” may be the most loving option and I would do this for one of my own in a similar situation. I hope you can find the strength to continue along this emotional path. Wishing you peace and comfort. Bless you both. ♥
I’ve been reading this article and many others just trying to come to terms with the fact that my senior dog is far from the dog she used to be. Her cognitive decline is only part of her issues, but it’s causing a lot of nighttime pacing and whining (and lack of sleep for us both), as well as generalized anxiety during the day. Because she’s a pit bull and still a powerful dog even though she’s old, she’s able to cause some destruction when she’s anxious (knocking over small appliances, pushing furniture, scratching at plugs in outlets, etc.). She also has had allergies and recurring skin infections since she was a puppy – Apoquel and regular chlorhexidine baths and sprays have kept this problem under control in the past, but recently our usual treatments are losing effectiveness, and her immune system is not what it used to be. She is obsessed with licking her paws to the point of creating hematomas, which then break open and bleed, and she also has occasional sores from allergies. Multiple times every day, I treat her wounds and clean up blood from where she’s been sleeping, which is usually our living room armchair, the area rugs, and my bed. Once or twice a week, she gets a medicated bath, and I change out bedding and furniture covers to ward off infection. On top of all this, she has frequent (1-2 times a week) episodes of diarrhea, where she has to go urgently but just produces mucus. I’m so exhausted trying to keep her and my house clean and safe each day. But I also feel so guilty when I think about giving up and letting her go. She still has days where everything is better and she’s more like her former self, so I’m just riding this emotional roller coaster right now wondering when I should get off. My vet has said that euthanasia is completely justifiable at this point, but I still can’t shake that feeling of guilt. 🙁
Dear Krys,
I am so sorry you are in this emotional situation with your senior girl. I can only imagine how hard it is to keep up with the daily cleaning and try to maintain your girl’s health and happiness. Caregiver fatigue is real, and your quality of life matters too! I agree with your vet that you may be at the point where saying goodbye may be the most loving option. I always think it is better to let go one day too early rather than one day too late and allow unnecessary suffering. It is ok to say goodbye before all happiness is gone and the only thing left is struggling and pain. I cannot think of a more selfless act of love than to allow your own heart to break so your sweet girl can find peace and freedom. Praying for clarity and that you will know when the time is “right”. Wishing you strength and comfort as you face the difficult days ahead. Bless you both. ♥
This article and the comments have helped me so much. I had to say goodbye to our Japanese Shiba Inu this weekend. He had been with us since he was 14 weeks old and reached 15. He was the most loving and loyal companion in every way. However his dementia started perhaps two years ago. In the last month, his pacing became constant, he was getting stuck behind the sofa and walking into objects, he was also blind and deaf which left him in an endless state of confusion and anxiety. He used to be the cleanest dog in the world, but he had started soiling himself at night, sleeping and walking in it and just weeing anywhere when needed. He developed arthritus too so near the end he would pace but stuggle to keep himself up, so many times I would wish he would relax but I guess the combination of all meant he kept going despite the pain. The Vet told us it was time to say goodbye and I will never forget the heart breaking moment he parted this world in my arms. I felt guilt and pain in the immediate aftermath, asking myself was there anymore I could have done, but ultimately nature had taken him and his quality of life was deminished. I have read each and every comment and its helped me so much knowing the choice we made was the right one, and thank you for this wonderful article.
Dear Luke,
I am so sorry you are grieving the loss of your beloved boy. I just read your comment on the other article as well. Praying for comfort and peace for you and your family during this emotional time. May the memories of the good times you shared with Jay be a source of joy in your life. Bless you all.
Thank you so much for this article and for the one called “Preparing for Your Dog’s Euthanasia: 10 Thoughts for Peace,” and for the podcast “Spiral of death.”
(Before I continue: I’m sorry if I make any grammatical errors, but I’m French. US websites and US veterinarians seem so much better at providing sensible and compassionate information.)
You really helped me make the good decision. This morning, I let go my 14-year-old dog whose kidney tumor had metastasized to his brain. I was so focused on the physical signs (he was still eating, he was not incontinent and until last week he could walk daily in the neighborhood), that I was late to acknowledge the cognitive red flags. But when I read “Maintaining the human-animal bond should be the most important goal at the end of any dog’s life,” something clicked. It was still an excruciating 24 hours to come to terms with what I had to do, but it definitely helped me.
It was also very difficult for me because I lost my father in a car accident in February, and we had to turn off his life support. So making another life and death decision was distressing, to say the least. And my father is the only person I would have wanted by my side this morning, as he was the one who taught me to love and care for dogs.
But this morning, Echo fell asleep in my arms for his morning nap (very deep sleep since a few weeks ago), I put him in my cargo bike (he loved it) and I took him to our vet. He was still asleep, and the vet gave him the sedative while he was still in my cargo bike. Then I carried him inside for the last moments. As excruciating as it is, I find a little bit of solace in the thought that my wonderful dog fell asleep in my arms at home, like it was his regular nap. And just kept sleeping without knowing it was the end. I had said my goodbyes in the morning, on the bed, and I had written him a letter that will accompany him to his cremation.
My house is painfully silent tonight, and my heart is broken. But I know I made the right decision, and I know your blog helped me in my process. Thank you for me and for Echo, who was “le plus merveilleux et le plus gentil chien du monde” (that was my nickname for him).
Dear Amandine,
My heart aches for you as you find your way forward without your sweet boy by your side. He does sound like a wonderful pup, and I am certain he knew how much he was loved. What a blessing he fell asleep in your arms and had such comfort and peace during his final moments. Thank you for sharing your story with us and I really appreciate the kind words about the articles. May Echo’s memory live on and be with you always. Bless you! ♥
Your story hits home for me. I too, also had to make the decision, along with my siblings to stop life-saving measures on my father. He was only 66. Now, I am having to make the decision to have my dog put to sleep. It is a hard decision anyway, and the fact I had to make this decision for my father recently is making it harder. Yes, it doesn’t sound right… my father is my father and my dog is a dog right? No, he has also been a loved family member as well.
I love the way you had him in the basket… that is how he went to sleep. On a bike ride with his person. This has helped me make my decision. I’m so sorry for your loss. ((hugs)))
Dear Kandi,
My heart goes out to you with all the loss you have had to face and will be facing in the near future. Wishing you strength to face the days ahead and praying for comfort for your heart. Bless you. ♥
Thank you for assessing this sobering condition of dog dementia. Is it common in one as young as 10? My dog Savannah is a Pyrenees/Heeler mix. She’s had off-and-on evening anxiety for several years. But only at OUR house — never when staying at others’ homes. But it’s gotten worse this past week: knocking things over, whining, barking, trying to climb on me, sometimes until 3 am. She’d prefer to be outside, and so I’ll allow that if she’s not barking and disturbing all my neighbors. But if continues barking, I bring her in, and then her indoor anxiety continues. My latest hope is to try her anxiety meds (trazadone, melatonin, gabapentin) early enough — like 5pm — so that they’ve kicked in fully by 8:30, and then maybe if I put her outside, she’ll sleep and not bark. Like everyone else commenting, I lose patience cause I’m exhausted, and then I feel horrible. Do you often see it in younger dogs? I’ve heard it can start earlier in larger breeds, but girl is 55 pounds. She’s also randomly barking in the house earlier in the day — a new behavior Thank you.
Hi Diane,
I am so sorry you are in this difficult situation with Savannah. It is possible for signs of dementia to appear at this age, but this could also be caused by other things as well. Any time there is a sudden behavior change it makes me suspicious about neurological disorders or endocrine disease. It might be a good idea to discuss this with your vet and see if they recommend some testing. I would even say they might want to do x-rays to rule out the possibility of a tumor. I hope you can find the answers you need to restore your sweet girl’s quality of life. Praying for a positive outcome. Bless you!
Our 10 year old Husky-Lab mix is 55 lbs and starter showing similar symptoms to yours when she was about 9.5. we ruled out. It’s really helped me reading all of the comments. Hang in there!
My 16 year old Yorkie has dementia. It came on rather quickly where he started staying up at night for hours, pacing. He used to sleep about 20 hours a day. Now, I’m lucky if he gets 12 hours of sleep. I started him on Selegiline a week ago. So far, no results.
Is there something I can supplement the Selegiline with so he will sleep at night? Is this my new norm? I’m at a loss for what to do.
Would you please let me know if there is ANYTHING I can do to get rest for all of us? I have two other dogs and three cats.
Thank You
Hi Barbara,
I am so sorry you are in this difficult situation. I can only imagine how tired, frustrated, and worried you must be. Unfortunately, most of the other things I would normally recommend do not pair well with Selegiline as it could lead to serotonin syndrome. Here is a link to an article with more information on that topic: Selegiline for Dogs: A Helpful Medication for Canine Cognitive Dysfunction
Make sure your vet is aware of this ongoing issue. They may have other things to recommend since they are more familiar with your dog’s specific medical history. I do want to say that it sounds like your senior boy is struggling and may have a reduced quality of life. The stress and anxiety that comes with mental disease can be just as bad as physical disease. Please take care of yourself. Caregiver fatigue is very real, and your quality of life matters too. Sometimes saying goodbye is the most loving option and only way to offer a beloved pup peace and rest. I would rather let go one day too early than one day too late and allow unnecessary suffering. Choosing to allow your own heart to break so your sweet boy can find freedom from his struggles is the ultimate selfless act of love. I hope you can find the advice you need to find a clear path forward. Wishing you both the best. Bless you. ♥
I have a 16 yr old shitzue cross she has dementia and a severe heart murmur it’s so hard to watch and at times I feel helpless it’s getting worse as the lack of sleep her pacing and being unsettled is stressful I think it’s getting close to saying goodbye although the vets say she still has some fight left her blood tests were normal but over the last 2 weeks it’s gotten harder they tried trial meds unfortunately there to expensive being low income I have an extremely hard decision to make
Dear Colleen,
I am so sorry you are facing this emotional decision for your senior girl. You know her better than anyone and I encourage you to trust your instincts about this decline in her quality of life. Wishing you strength and clarity as you navigate this difficult path. Bless you and your sweet girl.
Thank you for this article and your responses to so many comments. It has been a huge help. We unfortunately said goodbye to our Mini Schnauzer today. He was a rescue we got at 8 years old and had for 7 years. Dimentia signs started a few years ago and had continued to progress to long sleepless nights, pacing, and eventually within the past few months not recognizing me or my wife. He lost interest in any type of play time which recently was just chasing me around for treats.
On top of that he had bad arthritis which continued to get worse and would frequently fall and need to be picked up. He got to the point where he could not get out of bed and would lie on the floor until we got him.
Gum and mouth problems forced us to start making him smoothies and sit with him to feed. We used entyce a fair amount to help with appetite but he continued losing weight.
So much stacked against him but we loved him so much and he loved back. With all of that said, the thought of guilt and what more I could have done creep into my mind today. We did so much but as his dad I never wanted to let him down which I feel I did. We found help for him through our vet on so many of the issues he had.
Thank you again for writing this, it has been a huge help.
Dear Nick,
I am sorry for the loss of your senior pup. He was a lucky guy to have found you and shared these last 7 years with you. I know saying goodbye was difficult and I can only imagine how much you miss him. Thank you for sharing his story with us. May his memory stay with you always and be a blessing in your life.
Thank you for this article. My Corigi is 16 and paces at night. We have to keep her down stairs at night since her pacing is keeping us awake. She ends up going poop and pee during the night since we are not up to bring her out. She drinks excessively, paces, pants, gets stuck sometimes, stands at the door for no reason, bites me when getting her nails done by the groomer. We have to carry her up and down the stairs. I have started to have to encourage her to eat. I am still having a hard time putting her down, I just wish we didn’t have to make these decisions cause the guilt is so much to deal with.
Dear Kim,
I understand how difficult this decision can be. I wish you were not facing this emotional situation but know you will do what is best for your senior girl. Hoping you will find the answers and advice you need to navigate this unknown path. Bless you and your sweet girl.
My dad passed away in January, so we took in his dogs. One is an 18 year old Papillion. He was good at first, able to navigate to the toilet, bed and come for dinner. But after a couple of months he hurt his eye and got an ulcer that ruptured so we took him for surgery. He survived the surgery, the drugs he was on made him disorientated which in hindsight is most likely a sign of his deterioration to come. We took care of him and his eye healed, but then a few weeks after he had issues navigating around or getting outside to the toilet. We always put it down to his loss of vision which we were told could happen from scar tissue in his eye. It was small signs like getting stuck behind the washing machine or bumping his head. So we baby proofed the house, corners of the furniture etc so he couldn’t hurt himself or his eyes. But it has progressed, he will pave for hours in circles, going from dog bowl to dog bowl stepping into them and tripping over. Taking him outside to toilet because he can’t do it himself we would leave him to wander to come in on his own because he used to be able to do that now he can’t find the door. Twice it has happened that after dinner we take him out leave all the lights on for him but he can’t make his way in so when we go to bed and look for him we found him laying down stuck behind our shed in the dark shivering from the cold. He needs to be supervised now. He grumbles and paces around all evening inside I put him down 3-4 times in a bed thinking he can’t find one then he gets back up and immediately starts pacing. When he wakes up in the morning he walks a few paces and immediately goes to the toilet on our carpet. I’ve now got him in a pen with bed, water and pee pads down which is where he sleeps now and stays when I go to work.
I’m thinking it’s time, we took him in very late in life and tried to give him the best but it’s no longer good for either of us.
Dear Carlene,
I am so sorry you had to make this tough decision for your senior pup. I remember when you wrote in to us back in April of last year before his eye surgery. You went above and beyond to take in your dad’s dog and ensure he was well taken care of in his final days of life. Now with the recent anniversary of your dad’s passing, I am sure this is all very difficult to think about. I hope as time passes your heart will begin to heal and you will be comforted by all the wonderful memories you shared. Praying for strength and peace. Bless you. ♥
My 15 year old westie has been biting me lately and won’t let me love on her without biting me and wants nothing to do with me anymore. I don’t understand it. I’m not sure if it’s time to put her down or not. Breaks my heart she doesn’t want anything to do with me anymore after 15 years.
Dear Joy,
My heart aches for you as you deal with this emotional situation. While dementia can cause changes in behavior, I am suspicious there could be something else contributing to your girl’s problems. Due to her age and the rapid onset of this biting issue, it would be a good idea to have your vet evaluate your pup. They may want to take some x-rays or run some blood work to rule out things like a brain tumor. Ultimately, saying goodbye may be the most loving option and only way to give your sweet girl peace. I pray you can find the answers you need to make the decision that is best for everyone involved. Wishing you comfort and strength.
On Thursday, August 31st 2023 we put our sweet Annie to rest. She was an 18 year old chihuahua. I have had her since I was 15 years old. It was the most heart wrenching, difficult decision I have ever had to make. Needless to say, my wife and I are not doing great but I know it was the correct decision. Annie has been suffering from dementia for a few months now. She would get lost multiple times a day, walking in circles constantly and would soil herself nightly. She also couldn’t sleep through the night. We would hear her crying throughout the night and would need to help comfort her. After she was diagnosed with dementia she also was diagnosed with IVDD which was a whole new problem in itself. We came to the realization that she was no longer living a great life. She was a dog who would constantly have the zoomies and loved going for walks but she wasn’t doing any of that anymore. We thought we were being selfish by laying her to rest but now realize it was our last act of love we could provide to her. After it was done I felt incredibly guilty for ever getting frustrated and sad. Thank you for writing this article to help me understand it is a natural feeling. This helped me immensely to cope with the loss of my little Annie girl.
Dear Vincent,
I am sorry for the loss of your beloved Annie. You allowed your own heart to break so your girl could be free of her suffering. There is no greater act of selfless love than that. May Annie’s memory live on and always be a blessing in your life. Wishing you peace and comfort as you continue life’s journey.
Thank you from the bottom of my heart for this article. I am a veterinarian, and yet still struggle to give myself the peace I aim to bring owners whenever they are making end of life decisions.
I adopted Joey, my rat terrier/chihuahua mix, almost 4 years ago when he was 12. He’d had bilateral enucleation surgery, and a day after adopting him I did his dental at which time he ended up having full mouth extractions. Despite having no teeth, Joey has never been shy about gumming strangers!
And yet, he has been my best friend for four years. He’s come to work with me every day, and sleeps under my desk on his own mini couch. He’s loved by the whole team, all of which he’s bitten, because he is so grumpy he’s endearing.
Lately, in the last year, his hearing has been failing. Without twice daily Trazodone now, he’s scared and panics, paces, and pants. I’d made the decision to say goodbye to my loyal friend next week.
And here I am, searching for consolation on my decision, at almost midnight. I feel so guilty, because he’s “otherwise healthy”- but just like any other organ, the brain can fail. I feel heartbroken although I have a week left to cuddle and spoil him, because I know what void his absence will bring.
So much of your compassionate article has the same messages I give to owners, sincerely meaning every word.
And yet, I needed to hear it from someone else. Thank you.
Dear Jaimie,
My heart aches for you as you prepare to say goodbye to Joey. I wish I could give you a hug and let you know that everything is going to be ok. You are making a loving choice to free your sweet boy from his struggles. To allow your own heart to break so he can find peace is the most selfless act imaginable. I saw your recent post on the DVMoms page. ♥ The pictures you shared of Joey were precious. Let this last week be full of joy and snuggles. Spoil him rotten and have him surrounded by all those who care about him most. We are right there with you, and I am praying for your comfort and strength. May his passing be smooth and peaceful and his memory live on and be a blessing in your life. Joey will never be forgotten. ♥
I kept saying “his body is healthy! he doesn’t have cancer or anything terminal – how can I choose to end his life just because I’m exhausted?!” Once I saw the very specific symptoms that matched his behavior, I realized that while brain disease isn’t as visible, it is just as bad if not worse. Definitely worse for the owner because it is SO confusing that your dog can still show their personality or isn’t showing signs of physical pain, yet their brain is the culprit and just as good a reason to consider ending their struggle. it helped me, and broke my heart, to imagine how scared he must have been to be confused and lost and stuck. i couldn’t let that continue one more day once i really realized what i was dealing with.
You are so right… my pup eats well, does not appear to be in any physical pain, does not have any accidents in the house… he has his “happy tail” once again… on a medication regimen and a new schedule, he gets happy to see me. He is 15 1/2 and has shown symptoms for about 1 1/2 years – but only recently, the past month – does he have trouble settling down…scratches at doors, cabinets, furniture, legs. Barks randomly, trouble sleeping at night. Does not want to be cuddled or held. He paces until he goes to sleep, then he wakes up and seems more like his old self for part of the day. I had to put his littermate to sleep 4 months ago – due to obvious physical issues… putting a dog to sleep is one of the hardest decisions to make.
it’s hard my dog is 14 he,s a collie cross he a rspca dog I’ve had him since 2010 when he was around 12mts old now he,s blind or has cataract he totally deaf having moments on and off where he’s sick but then he,s ready to eat his good but spends his day now sleeping or just walking the floor boards walking into things he doesn’t let me know when he needs to go out for his business and started having the odd mishap in the house he looks losted all the time and just stares in to space he looks sad all the time and doesn’t want to do anything I’m at my writs end what yo do for the best I love him dearly but it’s hard to know when to let him go
Dear Janet,
My heart goes out to you as you navigate this difficult path. I know how hard it is to say goodbye to a beloved pup. I hope things will be clear when it is time to let go. Wishing you comfort and peace. ♥
Like everyone else said; I am so grateful to have found this page. We rescued an 11 yr old Blue nose pit from an abusive situation. He is soon to be 14 and has 90% of the symptoms mentioned. We put him on a natural supplement that really helped, at first, now not so much. I find myself losing patience with him and feel so guilty about it. My husband and I are feeling horrible knowing the time is near. When Hurricane Hilary came thru it was an awful 2 days for Beau as there was no sunshine, he was horribly confused.
I just want to say thank you to this site and to everyone that commented as it will help us when it’s time to say goodbye.
Dear Michele,
I am sorry you are facing this difficult choice for Beau. I am glad the article was helpful, and you found comfort in the words and experience of others. I pray for your strength to face each new day and for clarity in decision making. Bless you and your sweet boy.
Our Jack Russell/Pomeranian Cameron is 14.5 years old. We rescued him when he was around a year old. We used to live the UK but then moved to the US 6 years ago and brought him with us. He has always been an anxious boy but only until a few years ago we decided we needed to start medicating him, and the vet prescribed Fluoxetine. This worked for a couple of years but recently he was diagnosed with Sundown Dementia, and we were prescribed Trazadone. He is also losing his sight and hearing.
The Fluoxetine and Trazadone worked for a while but he has started to become a lot more anxious. The thing he is doing a lot more of is pacing around the house and looking into rooms and also staring at us, mainly me, and making a hi-pitched breathing noise. The noise has got to the point where my wife has to leave the room and go upstairs.
Cameron used to love running around playing fetch. He loved it so much that he created a running track in our back yard. In the evening he used to lay on the couch with me and my wife and fall asleep. He still gets excited to go out for a walk, which are not that long these days. He also gets excited when he gets a treat, and also for a few other things. But he doesn’t ‘play’ anymore or sit with us on the couch. He mainly just lays in his bed or on the couch by himself all day then starts to become anxious in the evening. Some evenings he’s not to bad but he can be a nightmare on others.
My wife thinks its time as she says he just isn’t the same dog anymore. I am still waiting for more of a sign, which may have already come and I may have just ignored it.
Hello Daniel,
I’m sorry to hear that Cameron has been declining recently and is no longer interested in doing many of his favorite things. Watching our beloved dogs grow older is so hard, and being faced with the decision of when to let them go is absolutely heartbreaking. My intent is never to tell people when to set their dogs free because that is a very personal decision, but I do want to mention that perhaps the fact that Cameron no longer laying with you and your wife on the couch or playing, two things that you specifically called out as being characteristic of him, are the signs you have been looking for. Thinking of you and your wife as you wrestle with this difficult decision. ❤️
My dog Lilly is about 16yo and ive had her since she was 3m old. shes definitely experiencing dementia. I feel extremely guilty for expressing frustration with her because iknow its not her fault and ive been going through so much in my own life that has been causing me to be in extreme distress, so it was very hard to have the patience. She also has awful arthritis, hip displasia and history of torn ACL, so she has a hard time walking and getting up. She has some other issues too like Cushings Disease and I noticed shes been having a painful mouth and hard time eating. She can hardly see or hear so she may bump into things. A few months ago she wasnt so bad and she would still try to gallop or be excited to go outside. She would get a burst of energy when we played with her and now nothing.
I made a decision to schedule her trip to the rainbow bridge, now in 2 days. but have such immense guilt and having a extremely hard time. I always thought she would not eat or drink or anything and thats how i would know its time but shes not. I keep waiting for more serious signs… like is SHE ready? Am I doing it for her or for me because it will ease some of my stress in caring and worrying about her. I feel so guilty saying this.. I have never put a dog to sleep and I just.. I am really scared and sad and I always wonder what if she has a few more weeks or months and im just taking it away?
Anyway.. Im glad I found this article. The comments were also helpful.. I guess I am looking for some sort of advice or words of encouragement or.. something to help me cope before her appointment.. Thank you so much
Dear Lizz,
I can tell how difficult this decision has been for you. It is clear Lilly is dearly loved and I am certain she knows. I know you don’t want to say goodbye out of convenience and that is not how I see your situation. Lilly is struggling and is dealing with confusion and pain and is withdrawing due to dementia. Letting go may be the only way to give your sweet girl freedom from her suffering and offer her peace and rest. Praying for your strength as you face these last days. May her memory be with you always. Bless you both. ♥
I set a date for next week for my beloved 14 year old Boston terrier Bella. She was diagnosed with CCD about 2.5 years ago due to her excessive whining. It seemed she wanted never ending treats — which wasn’t out of the ordinary for her, as she’s always been quite whiny and spoiled, but it has gotten excessive. She would whine for hours on end and never give up, even when given what she wanted. As the years progressed, the whining got worse and turned into pacing and whining all night long, barking at night, laying in bed whining. She didn’t seem to be in any pain though. She was prescribed anti anxiety meds, trazodone and gabapentin and I started giving her melatonin. At times, it seemed the meds made it worse. Once we cut out the alazopram, she seemed to do better, but as soon as the meds worse off, she was back to whining/screaming and pacing all night. It was exhausting. Within the last 3 months, there has been an obvious shift in her. The whining has, for the most part, subsided. Back in may, she began wetting the bed while she slept. This only happened 3 times and hasn’t happened since, but it was concerning. We have a dog door and she’s always been great about going out to potty, even in the rain, without being told. She now urinates and defecates in the house often. There will be a few days where she does not, but we’ve had to physically take her outside and make sure she does her business, as she ll squAt right in front of you and go to the bathroom in the house, completely unphased. She walks through her food and water bowl, and will often stand in her water bowl to eat. If she’s not pacing the house, she’s sleeping. She still eats and drinks, but she doesn’t seem to enjoy treats anymore which is the strangest thing. She still begs for our dinner and has lost her table manners, often climbing into my lap go try and steal off my plate. The hardest part has been when it’s time to give her meds. She needs her medication to rest and relax, otherwise she paces and whines and shakes. She used to take them well in a treat. Then that stopped working and I started giving them to her in people food. Some foods would work for a few weeks and then she didn’t want it anymore and I would have to try something else. We’ve gotten to the point where absolutely nothing works anymore. I have to wrap the treats in baby food or peanut butter, physically restrain her, and try to pry her mouth open to stick them in, which results in accidental bites to my fingers, and a struggle every time. She screams and cries and fights me, and continues to spit them out no matter how far down I shove them. It takes forever and the whole time she’s looking at me like “why are you doing this to me?” Afterwards, she’s affectionate towards me and I can’t help but think that she thinks I’m doing this because she’s done something wrong. I seem to be her only safe person these days. I’m the only one able to approach her with pills without her snapping at me, or pick her up, or hold onto her collar to guide her out the door. My mother is unable to do any of those without her snapping. I’ve felt very alone in this struggle with her, because she only wants me, and she wants me all the time. I’m no longer able to go out for long periods of time because she’ll pace the entire time, and I can’t miss medication times. I feel so isolated, but I love her so much, and she doesn’t seem to be in any pain or really even bothered by her state. I worry I’m making a selfish decision, and doing what is easiest for me, but nothing about this feels easy. I feel like I’m betraying her. She’s so anxious with the vet, so I’ve arranged for in home euthanasia, which gives me some kind of peace that she can simply lay down in bed with me like always and drift off…but I’m so afraid that it isn’t actually her time and I’m making a mistake.
Dear Megan,
My heart aches for you with your recent loss of Bella. I know it must have been very emotional and hard to make the decision to say goodbye to your beloved pup. From what you described I am certain it was the right choice and one I would have made for my own dog. Letting go was the only way to free Bella from her suffering. She was struggling every day with fear, anxiety, confusion, accidents in the house, fighting over medication, and lack of rest. There is no way anyone would think you were making a selfish decision out of convenience. I hope her passing was smooth and peaceful. I am glad you were able to allow her to stay at home and I am sure your presence was a comfort. May Bella’s memory live on and be a source of joy in your life. Bless you. ♥
I have an appointment to put down by 15-year-old border collie, Barkley, tomorrow and I’m agonizing over it. He has severe arthritis and can no longer get up without assistance and can’t walk far on his own without falling. He falls multiple times a day. I have to carry him down the back steps and he weighs 50lbs and I’m only 100lbs so that has destroyed my back. It hurts him to lay down and it takes forever with him crying the whole time. He has had some sort of dementia for a couple years now but has lost the ability to pace at night like he would. Instead he finally manages to get up without me, go somewhere else in the house with slippery floors and and fall, then cry for me to help him up. He does this several times a night. He is almost completely deaf and is covered in lumps including a really painful one on his right knee that he tries to rip off. He can only lay on one side because of the painful leg and is starting to develop bed sores on his elbow and the side of the back paw. He has skin allergies and has chewed off most of the fur on his butt, side and back legs. The pain meds don’t seem to be working anymore. The only thing he really has left is his eyesight and his appetite, but I can’t feed him all the special things I want to because he gets diarrhea, and I come home to find it all over the house and him laying in a pile he can’t get out of. He still wants to be near me all the time but he definitely is not the same dog he used to be mentally and doesn’t have interest in playing or walks or car rides or toys. His only joy really is when I give him treats or a bone. He was last at the vet’s about a month ago and the vet said I could start thinking about euthanasia but that “old age is not a disease” which was confusing to me because I felt like he was ready then. I guess his major organs are all functioning fine except his brain. I’m having a mobile vet come tomorrow and maybe they will have a different opinion. I don’t think a border collie who can barely move is a happy dog. They are naturally very active. I guess I feel guilty too because part of me wants to sleep at night and not have to carry him around and clean his poop anymore, but I don’t think I’d want to live like he is if I were in his situation. What do you think?
Dear Leanne,
My heart breaks for you as you watch Barkley struggle so much each day. I agree that his quality of life sounds diminished, and saying goodbye may be the most loving option. I know you would never want to choose euthanasia out of convenience, but that is not how I see your situation. Please make sure you are considering your own quality of life as well. Caregiver fatigue is very real, and you matter too. ♥ I hope you were able to get the answers and advice you needed from the mobile vet. Wishing you strength to face each new day and comfort for your heart.
Our dog is approaching his 15th birthday and a few months ago we thought we’d nearly lost him. We woke up one day and he was showing signs of vestibular disease. Luckily he made an improvement and managed to get his appetite back! We’ve always thought he’s shown sign of dementia… pacing alot in the evenings, looks into the distance, disoriented, he gets himself trapped and can’t bark much so makes a distressing sound. He does have quite a few accidents in the house now and has to wear nappies. He sleeps a lot during the day, needs feeding to settle him, but lately he’s been getting up a lot in the night. He paces for hours! We aren’t getting a full nights sleep at the moment because he’s up from 3am. He shows signs of all the dementia symptoms but luckily he still has his appetite. It’s all very sad to see!
Dear Emily,
My heart goes out to you as you navigate this difficult path with your senior pup. Dementia can be very cruel, and it is hard to watch a beloved dog struggle every day. I hope when the time comes to say goodbye you will know without a shadow of a doubt you are making the right choice. Praying for your strength and comfort for you both. Bless you.
I won’t write a long story, because my eyes are filled with tears. my 12 year old has wandered into the woods and gave my husband and I heart attacks. she has never wandered from me. she whines at night and goes from room to room, keeping us awake. I’d do without the sleep if I thought I could help her. she is afraid of our favorite place on our property and just wants to go home.. eats when she feels like it, doesn’t come when called. never greets me at the door and tried to bite a friend. but she has nipped at.people before. I don’t think it’s time but I am becoming more afraid every day. I just lost my patience with her and yelled. Not how I treat my dog and I hate myself for it. I feel everyone’s pain who commented. Horrible feeling.
Dear Nancy,
I am sorry you are facing this difficult situation with your senior girl. I know you want to do what is best for her and sometimes the most loving option is to say goodbye. Letting go may be the only way to free your pup from her struggles and offer her peace. I hope you can find the answers and advice you need to make the best decision for everyone involved. Wishing you strength and clarity. Bless you and your sweet girl. ♥
My 17-year-old Maltese is currently spinning out of control, literally. He’s spinning right in tight circles, and his eyes are like those cartoon eyes when he stops spinning. They go left and right like he’s super dizzy. The vet gave him a steroid injection, and he is on prednisone and antibiotics. Without getting an MRI, it’s hard to tell if it’s a brain tumor (been off and on like this for months), an inner ear infection (has had those before), a stroke, or dementia. He’s eating, drinking, going to the bathroom just fine. He just can’t seem to walk straight. It’s so weird. And the weirdest thing is that when he’s upstairs at night, he’ll occasionally walk left. I don’t get it at all, and I’m not sure how long to give the medicine before he starts showing visible improvement. But if he doesn’t stop soon, the hard decisions will have to be discussed. 😢
Dear Kim,
The situation with your senior dog sounds very tough and emotional. I am so sorry you are going through this. While the symptoms you describe definitely sound neurological in origin, they do not sound like what is normally seen with dementia. It is possible your dog could have dementia on top of other issues, but I would not think dementia alone would cause these specific problems. I hope the steroids and medications will help to get things under control. How is your pup doing today? Praying you can find some answers and your sweet boy can get some relief. Feel free to leave an update if you have a chance.
It sounds like some kind of vestibular disease, you will need to take him to a veterinary neurologist. I’m very sorry this is happening to you, my dog had vestibular disease and never really got to recuperate as she was before, She lived a happy life afterwards but always with the head tilt to one side and her body turning to the same side for years. I really hope you find an answer and help for your dog.
I cannot thank you enough for this article. We had our 16 1/2 year old Jack Russell terrier, Sassy, euthanized last Thursday. For the last two years, we had been dealing with symptoms of dementia and they were getting so much worse. Your article expressed my very feelings throughout this trying time with our beloved Sassy. After she’s gone, I’m still looking for answers and comfort. This article is such a blessing for me. Thank you so much!
Hi Lynne,
My heart goes out to you on loss of Sassy. Losing a beloved dog after a long fight with dementia is so heartbreaking, but I’m thankful that the article was able to provide a measure of comfort for you. Your kind words mean so much to us. Thank you for taking the time to share them and to share a bit about Sassy too. It is clear how much you loved her.❤️
This article has been a great read. Our husky/malamute was diagnosed with dementia, he has also recently had an operation to remove an aggressive type of cancer. At this point in time we are unsure if it has spread but he’s constantly pacing, barking and whining. Sleeps more in the day than at night, sometimes has us up at silly hours. He’s become very stubborn and refuses to do things he doesn’t want to do. This can make him rather aggressive and I’m concerned my husband will soon be bit. To look at him you’d think he was fine, would just love for him to let us know how he’s feeling. So horrible to watch him and know when the right time is.
Dear Lucy,
My heart goes out to you as you try to navigate this difficult situation. I understand how hard it can be to assess a beloved dog’s quality of life and make these emotional decisions. I will attach links to other articles with more information. Dementia can be very cruel and mental disease can cause just as much suffering if not more than physical disease. I am hopeful you can find the answers and advice you need to make the best choice for everyone involved. Praying for clarity and comfort.
1. Using a Quality of Life Scale for Dogs
2. Sundowners in Dogs: A Veterinarian’s Guide
3. Preparing for Your Dog’s Euthanasia: 10 Thoughts for Peace
I found this article while struggling to gauge the quality of life of my pet that I’m obviously emotionally attached to. Her name is Elvis Marie and she is a Bassett Minpin mix, people would always say she looks like a giant weiner dog. We got her when she was just a puppy and now she is 16 years old. My 21 year old is very attached to her as they used to sleep together every night. Elvis has lived a good long healthy life but we have seen a notable decline over the past year and even more so in the past couple of weeks. She hurt her back not for the 1st time and couldn’t wag her tail for a few days. You could tell when her back begin feeling better, but her cognitive decline seemed to dip even further. At our last vet visit around 2 months ago. They diagnosed her with doggy dementia.Unlike some of the other commenters she has never lost her appetite. In fact quite the opposite. It seems the only thing she cares about is food and will pace the floors all day snoofling for the tiniest crumb. She has excessive thirst and because of her drinking and eating she’s constantly peeing and pooing. She’s been incontinent for some time but she used to at least attempt to get outside and now she just goes wherever whenever, including in her dog bed overnight most nights. I had been feeling guilty because my family is hardly able to keep up with her maintenance (we also have a crawling infant and a toddler) and I didn’t want to feel like I was making this decision selfishly so your article really helped me wrap my brain around the fact that she isn’t really happy anymore, she’s just existing. I do feel guilty still- because of her hygiene. we don’t cuddle and love on her like we used to but she also doesn’t seem to crave it or enjoy it as much either. She struggles to walk and her back legs seem like they’re not working properly some of the time. I think she has trouble seeing and hearing as well. She whines and pants a lot even in her sleep. I’ve been giving her doggy pain medicine most days and I feel like I’ve put her on hospice care to some degree but I definitely don’t want to see her get worse or suffer and I feel like at this point I can’t expect her to get better. We’re all just really struggling to make this decision; we have an appointment for the vet to help us assess her quality of life in a few days. I appreciate the support here that we are making the right decision and it’s not our fault or that we’re doing this selfishly because I think we’re guilting ourselves into thinking that.
Dear Tristain,
My heart goes out to you as you face this difficult decision for Elvis Marie. It is clear she is dearly loved and has lived a very full life. I can assure you; you have no reason to feel guilty and this is not a choice that is being made out of convenience. You are making a loving choice to allow your own heart to break so your sweet girl can find peace and rest. I hope your vet was able to give you the answers and advice you needed to make the best decision for everyone involved. Wishing you comfort and healing for your heart. May Elvis’ memory stay with you always and be a blessing in your life.
I will be putting my 15 year old chihuahua Romeo to sleep today. He is my baby, I don’t have children, I had him since he was 2 months old. My heart has been broken for several weeks now. He very clearly has dementia, he’s gone days without eating, he’s almost blind, deaf and yesterday his back legs or his hip gave out on him or were so painful he couldn’t walk properly. My mother is giving me a guilt trip about the decision I have made, saying I’m “killing” him. But I won’t let him reach a state of agony, I want him to go as painless as possible. Thank you for your article, it has made my heart a bit lighter and put my mind at ease that I’m doing the right thing for my boy.
Dear Mirna,
I am so sorry for your loss of Romeo. I am certain you made the most loving decision and that saying goodbye was the only way to offer your sweet boy freedom from his struggles. It sounds like he lived a wonderful life, and I am sure he knew how much you cared. May his memory stay with you always and be a blessing in your life. ♥
Reading this article the night before our 14 yr old shepherd goes to doggy heaven🤍 We adopted him when he was 12 and I was obsessed with him right away but over the last year he’s started pacing, randomly panting heavy, wandering at night into random rooms and looking confused a lot. We thought it was because of his cataracts but later found out it was dementia. I’ve been holding off on putting him to sleep but recently he’s been going to the bathroom on himself without even realizing it. I made the appointment on Tuesday and have been regretting it everyday but your article has been the first thing that’s brought me peace. It doesn’t make the situation any easier and I’m dreading tomorrow but I’m so thankful that I found this. I don’t want my baby boy to just be “existing” anymore. My heart goes out to all the doggy parents who have been through this, and the people who have left comments on this blog who have made me not feel alone in this. God bless🤍
Dear Aubrey,
My heart aches for you with the recent loss of your senior boy. I am glad the article was comforting and gave you some peace with your decision. It sounds like saying goodbye was the most loving choice you could make. What a blessing you could free your sweet guy from his suffering. May his memory live on and be a source of joy in your life. Bless you. ♥
I have just found these web pages whilst feeling sad and confused. My Russell terrier has suddenly declined. Two weeks ago I took her to the vet as her back legs were weak. The vet diagnosed arthritis and prescribed an injection, gabapentin and galliprant. She became more wobbly, more disorientated and weaker. This week the vet diagnosed dementia, with blindness. Today there were 3o minutes where she couldn’t stand or walk, she paces / falls constantly through the day, only stopping when she either collapses into sleep or wedges and tangles herself in furniture and can’t extricate herself. She doesn’t seem upset, the vet says she’s not in pain, but it’s stressing me and upsetting me to see her constantly falling. She probably fell 100-150 times today. She eats and drinks, although sometimes needs help to balance at the bowls. Her heart is strong. She now loves being carried and hugged and seems to find peace in this. But I can’t carry her all day. I feel so mean but i want it to end. I want to euthanise, but she’s not stressed, is not in pain, is eating/drinking and wants to be with me,
Dear Jo,
I understand why you are conflicted about choosing euthanasia for your senior girl. I know you would not choose to say goodbye out of convenience but that is not at all how I see your situation. Just because a dog is still eating and drinking and is not in pain doesn’t mean they have a good quality of life. I truly believe mental disease can cause as much suffering (if not more) than physical disease. From what you describe, your girl is dealing with confusion, anxiety, and weakness every day. I encourage you to take an honest look at her and decide if she is truly living or just existing. I always feel it is best to say goodbye one day too early rather than one day too late and allow unnecessary suffering. I will attach links to other articles with more information and great advice from other readers. Praying you can find the answers you need to make the best decision for you and your pup. Wishing you strength and comfort.
1. Using a Quality of Life Scale for Dogs
2. How Will You Know When It’s Time to Euthanize Your Dog? 5 Caring, Heartfelt Messages
3. Preparing for Your Dog’s Euthanasia: 10 Thoughts for Peace
We are struggling trying to understand when it’s time to let our 18 year old chihuahua go. She has slowly been showing signs of cognitive decline and dementia over the last two years. Harriet has been visually impaired since we adopted her at 14 but she fully lost her vision about 2 years ago and never really seemed to adjust the way our other blind dogs have. She had a seizure a little over a year ago and has had several smaller episodes since. She is generally very anxious post ictal but comes back to her baseline within a few days. Over the last 6 months she’s been sundowning and it has gotten progressively worse. She’ll pace and can’t get comfortable even on our laps until we just take her to bed with us. We tried gabapentin at night and that helped a lot for about 2 months but it seems to be getting worse again. We aren’t able to leave the house with her anymore and we’ve arranged to basically have some kind of care and supervision for her 24/7. She still eats and drinks like a champ and does better sleeping through the nights with the meds but we are hesitant to medicate her during the day. She does still enjoy being outside in our yard in the warmer weather and looking for snacks in everyone’s food dishes but more and more it seems like she is anxious or asleep and there’s not a lot of in between. We’d do anything to keep her happy and comfortable we just don’t know where that line is. This blind 6lb street dog with no jaw or teeth has got a lot of fight in her, she’s been through so much and we just want to give her everything we can.
Hi Michelle,
I understand why you are conflicted about when to say goodbye. This decision isn’t always easy or straightforward. It sounds like you have a good grasp of Harriet’s current situation and are watching for signs that her quality of life is declining. I will attach links to other articles about this topic. They contain lots of great information and comments from other readers. I pray for your strength and clarity as you navigate this difficult path. Wishing you all the best. Bless you.
1. How Will You Know When It’s Time to Euthanize Your Dog? 5 Caring, Heartfelt Messages
2. Using a Quality of Life Scale for Dogs
3. Preparing for Your Dog’s Euthanasia: 10 Thoughts for Peace
I’m sitting here balling my eyes out reading this. It’s 3am I’ve had another restless night barely sleeping. Arya my lovely 14 year old dog has been spinning in circles since midnight. This thought always crossed my mind and todays the first day I googled this next step because I’ve always felt so guilty even thinking it. My wife and I have altered our entire home and life to accommodate our baby to the best we can for the last year and a half and it’s really taken a toll on us. I love Arya so much and want her to love years more but she isn’t the same Arya that would take my spot in bed after I left the house and come over for belly rubs. I’m still only considering this but I just want to let you know how helpful this article was to know my feelings aren’t with our warrant…
Dear Benjamin,
My heart goes out to you as you face this difficult situation with Arya. I am glad the article was helpful and validated your feelings and struggles. You are not alone, and caregiver fatigue is very real. It can be hard to take an honest look at a beloved dog’s quality of life because we love them so much. I always think it is better to say goodbye one day too early rather than one day too late and allow unnecessary suffering. I encourage you to look at your girl and see if you think she is really living or just existing. I will attach links to other articles with more information and great advice from other readers. Praying you will know when it is “time” and for the strength to navigate this hard path. Bless you.
1. Using a Quality of Life Scale for Dogs
2. Preparing for Your Dog’s Euthanasia: 10 Thoughts for Peace
3. In-Home Dog Euthanasia: Heartfelt Answers to 12 FAQs
4. How Will You Know When It’s Time to Euthanize Your Dog? 5 Caring, Heartfelt Messages
This article is breaking my heart, but helpful at the same time. My Zoey is a 16yr old Chihuahua/Jack Russell. I don’t know what life is like without her. I got her when I was 23 and she’s been with me ever since. She’s started having accidents around the house about a year and a half ago. I took her for multiple tests and they all indicated everything was mostly normal, aside from a slight decline in kidney function, which I was told was normal for her age. Aside from the accidents, she still seemed happy and healthy. In November of 2022, I unexpectedly lost my Irish Setter Ruby to cancer at only 7. Her and Zoey were so close. Since then I’ve noticed a significant cognitive decline in Zoey. She seems confused and when she’s not in my bed sleeping, she just paces around the house. She does still seem to recognize me at least, and that’s what I’ve been grasping onto. It’s hard not to be frustrated at all the accidents, but I don’t want to put her down just because I’m constantly cleaning up after her (anywhere from 2-4 times a day). Today was rough. She peed on my bed right beside where she was laying. That seemed odd to me. I made an appointment with the vet for July 20th and I guess I’ll go from there. I
‘M so scared I’ll have regrets no matter what decision I make. Thanks for the article and any advice would be greatly appreciated.
Hi Heidi,
So sorry to hear about Zoey’s cognitive decline and the loss of Ruby. What a difficult and heartbreaking situation. It is clear how much you love Zoey and what a special part of the family she is. I appreciate your honesty in saying that it is hard not to be frustrated with the frequent accidents. I think that everyone would feel that way, and I want you to know that it is ok to have those feelings. You are doing a great job caring for her and I have no doubt that she knows how much you love her. I hope you were able to find peace with whatever decision you ended up making. Thinking of you!
I found this site when searching for answers regarding my 13 year old Westie. He is physically healthy except for arthritis in his low back and hind legs. He still plays but often limps afterwards. He is having some cognitive issues but not to the extreme of my last dog. He started becoming more clingy and vocal than usual. Then started refusing to sleep in crate. He gets extremely anxious, almost panicked, so I’ve given up and let him sleep on my bed. There he will sleep thru the night. Otherwise he wanders thru the house. Vet said he has dementia and Sundowners and she prescribed Trazadone for evenings/nights. Most concerning is that he has become easily startled and aggressive. It is getting worse daily and I’m afraid my husband is going to get bit very soon. The vet just says they can’t help with behavioral issues. He bit 5 different people several years ago out of fear. I sent him to a board and train and he became the perfect little companion. 2 years ago people were pushing me to get him into a therapy program and now I’m worried that he’s becoming dangerous and he’s going to bite. I don’t know what to do.
Dear Barbara,
My heart goes out to you with this difficult situation you are facing with your Westie. Dementia is so cruel, and I am sorry it is causing your pup’s personality to change. There are several different medications that can be used to combat the symptoms, but unfortunately at some point they all will fail to help, and the cognitive decline will progress. I am not sure if there are other medications your vet could try or if your boy is already at the point of no return. With aggression becoming an issue, you may have to make some tough decisions sooner rather than later. I always think it is better to let go one day too early rather than one day too late and allow unnecessary suffering. Praying you find the advice you need to make the best choices for everyone involved. Bless you and your senior boy.
My Bishonpoo, Lilly will be 14 in August. she was a precious gift to us and shares my deceased mother’s name. She’s been under vet care from day one, we take care of her like our own children. Within the last few years, Lilly has developed a heart murmur, and kidney disease. Most recently, she’s been diagnosed with CCD. She displays a lot of the symptoms in your article and at 65, its difficult to clean up after her many accidents, but I do it with love. She’s now been experiencing anxiety and panting spells, I believe. It frightens family members who would have to look after her while my sister and I take a 11 day trip, while I’m away. I’m torn between putting her down before she gets any worse, so they won’t have the responsibility of her. I have another dog whose 4 years old who the family adores, but neglect or ignore my senior dog. I’m at wit’s end what to do. Lilly has good days and bad. She’s been my best friend and I don’t want to lose her…
Hi Carlene,
My heart goes out to you. It is so difficult to watch our beloved dogs decline mentally and physically and be unsure how best to help them. I can tell how much you love Lilly and what a great job you have done of taking care of her. I hope you were able to find peace and comfort in whatever decision you ended up making. ❤️
I happened on your website as I have been searching the internet for answers on how to know when the the end is here and the time is right to let our dog go. Izzy is a 17 (+5 months) old chiweenie. Currently, she has cataracts, can’t hear well (really only loud claps or she feels vibrations on the floor), has terrible arthritis in her back legs and has some cuts on her front paws (assuming from her distribution of weight). She used to be about 11 pounds, is around 8ish now and the vet says she is losing muscle tone (her hind legs will start to slide down if she stands too long). Her blood work is good, despite her heart murmur (4 out of 6 and no side effects, no coughing, etc.). The vet says everything is “normal” for her age and we should just watch for good days vs. bad days to get a gauge. She really just exists because she doesn’t play anymore, walk outside anymore, can’t do steps or jump, doesn’t want to sit with us or interact with us, basically anything that she liked to do and anything that a dog does. She has dementia, she sleeps most of the day but is up at night and when she is up during the day, she wanders around, sometimes just stopping in the middle of a room and stays there for a few minutes or stands at the bottom of the steps looking up. She eats (sometimes in the middle of the night) and still drinks. She poops/pees in the house daily, even after being outside. She is in diapers full-time. I had to cut her nails and she did bite my hand (though, to be fair, she never liked that). I just wish I had a sign to know that it’s time or a gut feeling. I feel like I am putting the pressure on myself to make a decision. Part of me feels like I am making a decision because she’s a burden because I am giving her meds 3x day, changing diapers and cleaning up messes. Logically, I can do a checklist and understand that her quality of life is not great and that she’s existing, but that said, she still walks around (she does have a hobble), eats, drinks and looks at me. The hardest part for me, at this point, are my kids – 10 and 12. I am so very worried about them. If they weren’t here, I would probably take let Izzy go to peace but my kids do not want to say goodbye (even though they see her quality of life and our frustrations). Just really struggling with how to make the final call, will I get a gut feeling? How do I handle my kids? They both say they want to go when we take her and I’m ok with that. I just don’t want them to feel this horrible sadness (which they are already feeling because we keep talking about this and it’s such a heavy weight of “when”). Any guidance?
Dear Jen,
I am so sorry you are facing this difficult decision for Izzy. You are not alone, and your story is very similar to many others. Let me be honest. From what you describe….it is time. I know letting go will be very emotional and hard, but it will also be freeing for Izzy and your family. Saying goodbye may be the most loving option and only way to give Izzy peace from her struggles. I always think it is better to say goodbye one day too early rather than one day too late and allow unnecessary suffering. I will attach links to other articles with more information and great advice from other readers. I pray you find the answers you need to make the best choice for everyone involved. Wishing you strength and clarity. Bless you and your family. ♥
1. Using a Quality of Life Scale for Dogs
2. Preparing for Your Dog’s Euthanasia: 10 Thoughts for Peace
3. How Will You Know When It’s Time to Euthanize Your Dog? 5 Caring, Heartfelt Messages
4. Grieving the Loss of a Dog After Euthanasia (& Finding Peace)
Dear Dr. Buzby,
The situation with Izzy the chiweenie is so much like what we are going through with our dachshund Zoey (16 years 6 months). Our Zoey still seems to recognize us and shows signs of wanting to be around us. However, I travel a lot for work and for the last year, virtually every time I come back from a weeklong trip, I can see a steady decline in Zoey’s abilities to walk, wanting to eat on a regular basis, and mixed-up day night cycle we can’t seem to readjust with activity rather than medication. Whenever Zoey is up, she frequently gets stuck in corners, behind doors and in between furniture. For several months now we had pee pads all over the house to deal with Zoey’s incontinence. I had thought that helping Zoey through this stage of her life till she was completely unable to walk and get her own food was the best way to go. However, after reading Jen’s experiences with Izzy and reading your advice I am convinced it is time to consider the best way to let Zoey go. When I am on business trips my wife has to deal with a lot of this and we know that taking Zoey to our vet to put her down is not an option. Zoey is more aggressive at the vet and anxious but is very happy to be with us and back home afterwards. Also, a friend of ours told us about putting her cat down at the vet and it was very stressful for the cat. So we are looking into options to arrange things at home to give Zoey a more peaceful passing. While my wife has been able to find a few options where we live, I am interested in the details of the process. I would hope that Zoey can be sedated before the final injection/IV so she can be at peace at the end. What should we ask these providers about their service? For example, can an oral sedative be given rather than injectable sedative? What other questions are good to ask?
Dear Steve,
I am so sorry you are facing this emotional decision for Zoey. Yes, most vets will give sedation medication prior to administering the euthanasia solution IV. There are options for oral meds, but most will use a quick injection or a combination of oral and injectable. I will attach links to other articles with more information that may answer the questions you have. Praying for your strength and comfort and that Zoey’s passing is peaceful and smooth.
1. In-Home Dog Euthanasia: Heartfelt Answers to 12 FAQs
2. Preparing for Your Dog’s Euthanasia: 10 Thoughts for Peace
Thank you so very much for your response and kind words. We did say goodbye to our Izzy girl and it was a horrible day for the family. Your reassurance does bring me peace and, with each day, we’ve been able to find our new normal without her. When we did let her go, it was the first time I saw peace for her in a long time. Again, I appreciate the time you take to respond, with care, to these posts. You are an angel.
Dear Jen,
My heart goes out to you as you try to navigate a path forward since your loss of Izzy. May her memory live on and be a blessing in your life. Wishing you and your family peace and happier days ahead. ♥
First, thank you for a very informative and incredibly compassionate article. It’s good to know that my concerns are valid. I have read through all of the comments about this article, and I can see my 16-year-old shihpoo, Roxxie, in just about all of them. Roxxie’s decline started gradually, but it is progressing more rapidly now. Although Roxxie has a nonspecific liver ailment (very high enzyme levels) we manage that with Denamarin and a liver support home-cooked diet, and she seems ok physically for the most part. Let me be clear that she has not been diagnosed with dementia by a veterinarian. But she is undeniably declining. She used to be such a sweet little cuddlebug, but she no longer wants to be held. Every day, multiple times per day, she gets “stuck” or frozen as though she does not know where she is or cannot decide where she wants to go. She has gotten herself into corners and cannot get out without assistance. She can still find her food and water dish, and she still eats and drinks, but she will stand in front of her dishes and not know what to do until I touch her mouth with a bit of food or water. She sleeps all morning after breakfast, eats lunch, sleeps all afternoon, eats supper, and then she gets restless and paces back and forth through the house. We don’t know how much she can see or hear anymore. The slightest touch can startle her. More disturbing, she has been trying to bite when she’s startled or disturbed. I can’t let the grandkids around her anymore. I am afraid to take her to the groomer for fear she will bite this lovely woman. She has bitten my husband when she was startled. When I take her upstairs at night, I can no longer let her go to her crate on her own, because if she gets into another room by mistake, she gets confused, then terrified. Most recently she has started barking at night. One night her barking lasted for several hours. If she’s quiet at night, I feel I must get up to check and see if she’s still breathing. She still urinates outside, but this is due to our strictly vigilant schedule of taking her out, because she doesn’t go to the door anymore. She defecates in the house almost every day. This is all very stressful for us, but I don’t want to make a decision based on my stress or misreading of the situation. My heart breaks a little more every day for our sweet Roxxie, and I fear the end is very near. I am ashamed of myself for considering euthanizing her, because her body is still ok.
Dear Deborah,
My heart goes out to you as you face this emotional situation with Roxxie. I know you would never consider euthanasia out of convenience, but that is not how this seems to me. It is hard to assess quality of life, especially when most of the issues are mental. But I definitely believe that mental disease causes as much suffering (if not more) than physical disease. Saying goodbye may be the only way to offer your sweet girl peace and freedom from her daily struggles. I will attach links to other articles with more information and advice on how to know when it is the “right” time. I am praying for clarity and strength to navigate this difficult path. Bless you both. ♥
1. Using a Quality of Life Scale for Dogs
2. Preparing for Your Dog’s Euthanasia: 10 Thoughts for Peace
3. How Will You Know When It’s Time to Euthanize Your Dog? 5 Caring, Heartfelt Messages
I don’t know what to do with my 15 year old Aussie, Emma. She started displaying signs of cognitive disorder in the fall and she’s been declining ever since. When she’s not sleeping she paces, pants and whines. Within the last couple of months she started soiling in the house and she’ll walk right through it, completely unaware of where she is or what she’s doing. We put her on fluoxetine a few months ago but it doesn’t seem to help ease her anxiety. I’m struggling to make “the decision” because she still has a strong appetite and she’s been the most loyal, kind, smart companion – it feels like a betrayal. I’ve been with her since the day she was born and I know I’ll never have another like her. I’ve heard dogs rarely die of natural causes – is that true? Are there other medications we should try first? Thank you.
Hi Mackenzie,
I understand how confusing it can be to really evaluate a dog’s quality of life. Especially when most of their troubles are mental instead of physical. It is true that a peaceful natural death is often not how things turn out. There may be other medications or supplements to try but without examining your dog myself, I can’t say for sure. Have you thought about using diapers or wraps to help with the house soiling? I will attach links to other articles with more information. I am hopeful you will find the answers you need to make the best decision for you and Emma. Best wishes and bless you both.
1. Canine Cognitive Dysfunction in Dogs: Signs, Symptoms, Solutions
2. Senior Dog Anxiety at Night? 9 Solutions for Better Sleep
3. Using a Quality of Life Scale for Dogs
4. Preparing for Your Dog’s Euthanasia: 10 Thoughts for Peace
Hello. I’m sitting up at 2:30am and have been watching my 14 yr old senior with is almost all the way blind and he has dementia pace around getting stuck in all corners of my bedroom. He is in great health besides those 2 things. I don’t like to see him like this. He gets anxiety all the time. He does still know me. We still play a little bit he constantly spins in circles. He’s been like this for about a year and a half. I have to work in the morning but I called off work. Luckily he just finally laid down. I have to line all around my bedroom with pillows or find something I can wrap around so he doesn’t get stuck again. I love him so much and can’t imagine having to put him down knowing he is in such good shape. No arthritis. All organs are great. I just don’t know what to do. My vet prescribed something for his ccd. He’s been on it for a few days. I’m hoping this may help. Not sure what naturally I can give to help him sleep at night. I’m so lost
Hi Jen,
I am sorry you are in this difficult situation with your senior guy. Battling mental disease in a beloved pup is so hard and emotional. Your boy is lucky to have you advocating for his health and well-being and taking such good care of him. I will attach links to other articles with more information that may offer advice on additional treatments to try. You can also discuss the possible use of melatonin with your vet. This could be a natural way to help your guy get some rest. It doesn’t work for every dog, but it could be the missing piece for your boy. Keeping you in my thoughts and wishing you both the best.
1. Marvelous Melatonin for Dogs
2. Senior Dog Anxiety at Night? 9 Solutions for Better Sleep
3. Sundowners in Dogs: A Veterinarian’s Guide
4. Canine Cognitive Dysfunction in Dogs: Signs, Symptoms, Solutions
I just went through this 3 days ago…it was horrible..I will say there is a point we’re we feel like we waited too long..so as soon as she didn’t eat or drink the first day…we should have put her down but we didn’t and the next 2 days were ever worse…weekend….we were trying to get to monday to take her in but Sunday evening she started pacing rapidly slamming into walls and doors and breathing funny so we had to go to the emergency hospital….I would give anything to not have waited the 2 days…when she was gone she looked so peaceful and she hadnt. been that way for months….
Dear Trisha,
My heart aches for you with the recent loss of your pup. It is easy to feel guilty when looking back on how things happened but please don’t carry around the unnecessary burden of guilt over this. I would have made the same choice if faced with the same situation. I am glad your girl’s passing was peaceful and you were able to give her freedom from her struggles. May the memories of all the good times you shared bring comfort to your heart. Bless you. ♥
Hello, I’ve been reading all these and I’m so torn. My sweet shitzu baby is 17 and has lost most of his vision and hearing, has a little arthritis as well as stage 2 kidney failure and his last visit the vet said his liver enzymes were 396 and normal is 121. He is also suffering from doggie dementia and paces each evening for about 3 hours. He goes from one door to the next scratching on them. We take him out and then he sometimes will come back in and go to the bathroom in the house. He never had accidents in the house. He seems to eat better now than the whole time we’ve had him. He sleeps most of the day except for his pacing hours. He doesn’t go on walks anymore or get the zoomies like he used to. I don’t know is it time? Someone said in one of the comments that their pet is only existing that really hit home with me. Please tell me what you think we should do.
Dear Dana,
I am so sorry you are facing this difficult decision for your senior pup. I know how hard it is to decide when it is time to let go. I wish I could tell you what to do, but without examining your boy myself, I can’t make specific recommendations. Maybe you could reach out to a hospice vet in your area and have them do a quality-of-life evaluation? I am sure if you discussed your concerns with your vet, they would give you their honest opinion. I always think it is better to say goodbye one day too early rather than one day too late and allow unnecessary suffering. I will attach links to other articles with more information and great comments from other readers. I hope you find the answers you need to make a choice you can feel confident in and one that will bring your sweet boy peace. Praying for a clear path forward. Bless you.
1. Using a Quality of Life Scale for Dogs
2. Preparing for Your Dog’s Euthanasia: 10 Thoughts for Peace
3. Dog Euthanasia: Knowing When to Say Goodbye
We find ourselves in this painful place, now, looking toward “when.” Our beautiful Boy, Bubba, was a rescue Deer Chihuahua Mix who came into our lives in Palm Springs in 2014. He had been hit by a truck, had been in a coma and had suffered some type of neurological event leading up to the time he joined our family. My husband has a background in rehab medicine and I was just a doting Dad – so we worked with him to get him healthy and functioning to his fullest potential. Over the years we have bonded and loved him, knowing full well that pets are only on loan to us for a short time in our lives. When we made the move from Palm Springs to Lisbon, Portugal in 2022, Bubba was front and center for the adventure, and had been adapting well. There have been changes in his behavior: He tires easily and sleeps a lot, He has begun to experience weakness in the legs that were injured in his misadventure with the truck. We can’t tell if he’s fully deaf, or is just not able to process the commands that once came so easily to him. But he’s still eating – not the same healthy amounts he’s been consuming, he still wants to go for a walk – tho a shortened loop is better than a long meandering stroll, and he is still making it outside to the balcony thru his doggy door and there have been no accidents inside. His sleep at night is restless, he can’t jump on the bed any more, so we’re there for that…and he’s become so loving and clingy with both of us. I know that he feels safe when we’re all in the house together – on the couch, in bed, in the kitchen – its familiar and comforting for him. We joke about who really saved who and I know that soon we will be making that decision to let him go across the rainbow bridge. I hear John Lennons “Beautiful Boy” when I think of him or hold him. I just don’t want him to suffer. Your article confirmed that we are doing and watching for the right things. Thank you so much – as difficult as this is, and as crazy making as his behavior can be at times, I still feel my life is so much more complete – and I’m treasuring, even more, every day that we all have together. Thank you.
Dear Timm,
My heart goes out to you as you navigate this difficult path with Bubba. Thank you for sharing his incredible story. He truly sounds like a once in a lifetime kind of pup. I am glad the article was helpful and allowed you to feel better prepared for what lies ahead. Make the most of every day you are gifted and give your sweet boy a hug for me. Bless you all. ♥
Hi. our beloved Cockapoo is 14 years old and has been on meds for his arthritis for the last 6 months, he is deaf but he’s physically doing well now but I do have to carry him up the stairs to bed. A few months ago, his aggression started towards my husband when trying to pick him up, wipe his bottom or even going near him. At times he loves him like he always did but can turn within 10 minutes. He has always been okay with me but he is now growling at our 3 adult sons, who have always adored him and they are so upset. He is always pleased to see them when they have been out but he’ll change and looks like a different dog, looks scared and on guard. He adores me and I know he can be protective. My husband thinks it’s dementia but he doesn’t exhibit the the other symptoms even though he sleeps a lot. I don’t want him to feel scared and the need to be aggressive and the upset it is causing.
Hi Nicola,
I am sorry you are experiencing this dramatic change in behavior with your senior guy. While this aggression could be early signs of dementia, it could also be symptoms of a more serious issue. Have you discussed these concerns with your veterinarian? They may offer to do some testing to rule out other problems first before suggesting a treatment. There could be a medication or supplement that would make a big difference in your sweet boy’s quality of life. I hope you can find the answers you need to ensure your dog is living his best life. Wishing you and your family the best for happier days ahead.
My8-year-old shepherd mix has not been doing well for at least 6 months now . We tested his thyroid and discovered it was low. The vet put him on medication for the thyroid and that is when the weight loss and pacing began. I recently went to another vet for a second opinion due to his pacing and blood tests came back with the same results, all looks good except for his low thyroid. We took him off the thyroid medication to see if it would help him gain weight and decrease the pacing, it has been well over a week and nothing has changed. If he is not sleeping he is pacing. He does stop long enough to eat and drink but then starts pacing again. He has run into walls and gotten stuck in closets and bedrooms. The next step is to test him for cancer but I am afraid that he has dementia. His pacing will not stop until I force him to lie down and at times that only works for a few minutes. I have started giving him trazodone while I am gone from the house and it seems to help him sleep but as soon as it wears off he is pacing again. I don’t want to let him go but he is a shell of a dog. He cannot leave the house and at this point, I am also afraid to leave the house because I am afraid that he will pace non-stop until I get home. He does sleep some during the night, but it is a restless sleep with him constantly getting up doing circles on the bed and with me comforting him to settle him. I guess that I am writing this because I need to know that if his cancer test comes back clear and I decide to let him go because of dementia I am not a bad person. This dog is my whole world, I love him with everything I have but the last few months have been extremely stressful and his quality of life is nothing like it used to be. I don’t believe that I will ever have my Rusty back. I just need to know that if I do let him go it was the right decision for him and not me. Thank you for taking the time to read this, my heart is just broken knowing that I cannot do anything to help him.
Dear Mindi,
I am sorry you are facing this difficult decision for Rusty. Each dog’s situation is different, and it is hard to know what his quality of life is like without examining him myself. From what you describe, it does sound like he is showing some mental decline. Sometimes saying goodbye is the most loving option and only way to give a beloved pup freedom from their struggles. Suffering from mental disease is just as bad, if not worse, than physical disease. You should not feel guilty for making a choice that is in Rusty’s best interest. If you have any lingering concerns, don’t hesitate to discuss them with your vet. They can do a quality-of-life exam and let you know if it is time to let go. Here is a link to another article with more information: Using a Quality of Life Scale for Dogs
I am hopeful you will find the advice you need to make the best decision for everyone involved. Praying for clarity and comfort for your heart.
My almost 18 year old Havanese has had dementia for four years now. In the beginning she had her days and nights mixed up but that settled down. She now sleeps a lot but when she’s awake she paces. She gets stuck between or behind things and sometimes cries. She never barks at anything. She continues to eat and drink and doesn’t appear to be in any discomfort . I’ve been struggling for months now and yesterday I thought I had decided to let her go but as she sleeps in my arms right now I’m confused. Your article was so helpful especially “is it living or existing”. She was a rescue at 8 and has brought us so much joy and I’m so happy we could give her a loving happy home. Thank you for your article. God Bless.
Dear Maria,
I am so sorry you are facing this difficult decision for your senior girl. I am glad you found the article to be helpful and hope it brought you some peace. I will attach links to other article with additional information and great comments from other readers. Praying for your strength as you navigate this tough road ahead and wishing you comfort for your heart.
1. Using a Quality of Life Scale for Dogs
2. Preparing for Your Dog’s Euthanasia: 10 Thoughts for Peace
3. Dog Euthanasia: Knowing When to Say Goodbye
Oh dear I know first hand what you are going through. My jack russell will be 18 in July and has had dementia for quite a few years. He still eats and drinks but poopies everywhere now and paces all day and all night. He always cries for me when he gets stuck behind things and I run to him. He used to sleep with me but he cannot anymore because he paces all night. He also has cushings and his back legs give out from under him and I end up carrying him around which is bad for my back because I have disc problems and osteo porosis. I am stressed out all the time and I love him so much. I know he needs to go to sleep but I cannot hold him through the process because my heart will break. I have been praying that the Lord will help me do this. God bless you. The Lord will help you also. I also rescued him when he was 6.
Dear Janet,
My heart goes out to you as you face this emotional decision for your senior guy. It is clear your sweet boy is dearly loved and that he has lived a good life. I pray you find the strength needed to face the tough road ahead. Wishing you comfort and peace. ♥
My baby girl, Sophie, is a 15 year old chihuahua. She has gone blind and deaf. She is showing signs of dementia. She still eats and drinks fine. Now all she does is sleep. When she’s not sleeping, she’s pacing around aimlessly. I try to get her to sit with me. Or lay with me. But she just wants to place. She is urinating in the house now. I had to make her stop sleeping in the bed because she would pee in the bed instead of getting down and going outside or to her pads anymore. She doesn’t play anymore. She’s doesn’t enjoy things she use to. She gets lost quiet a bit in the house. She doesn’t play with her brother anymore, I’m fancy she gets angry when he’s too close. Should I be considering options for her. I don’t want to do it too soon, but I don’t want to do it too late. I don’t want her to suffer at all, but I feel selfish if I keep her longer then she needs to be because my heart will break without her.
Dear Ashley,
My heart goes out to you with this difficult decision you are facing for Sophie. From what you describe, her quality of life sounds very diminished. I can’t imagine she is finding much joy in her days when she struggles with anxiety, confusion, incontinence, restlessness, lethargy, and aggression. I know you would never want to give up on her too soon, but that does not seem to be the situation you are in. Saying goodbye may be the most loving option and only way to give your sweet girl peace and rest. I hope you can find the advice you need to make the best choice for you and Sophie. Praying for your strength to navigate the tough road ahead. Bless you both. ♥
I have a 14yr old shin tzu. She still has energy but is unable to see and hear. She wonders around the house and has gotten stuck in corners and I had to help her get out. She bumps into things and constantly forgets if she has eaten or not. Even though, I feed her twice everyday. She sleeps more than she is awake and has thrown up at least once per day. I love on her and constantly have to wash her eyes but she seems like she is not getting any better. She sometimes just stares at me without seeing me and is it is heart breaking. I have considered euthanization not because I do not want to take care of her. I have considered it because I can see that she is in pain and is not herself. I love her and this is definitely a difficult decision.. She is my first dog.and I want to do what is right for her.
Dear Emily,
I am sorry you are facing this difficult decision for your senior girl. I agree that it sounds like her quality of life is declining and her mental state is poor. Saying goodbye may be the most loving option and only way to give her peace. I hope you can find the advice you need to face the tough road ahead. Praying for your strength and comfort. ♥
This sound just like my dog Ruby. She has taken to assaulting the water bowl and barking all the time.
Hard to get her to eat.
I know it’s time but it’s so hard.
Dianne
Dear Dianne,
I am sorry you are facing this difficult decision for Ruby. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Bless you both. ♥
Thanks for this article. I am really struggling with what to do with our dog. She is a beagle-boxer mix, and really a beautiful dog. She is only 9 years old but has been struggling with sundowners for over a year, and getting worse. She never sleeps through the night, pacing and scratching at our bedroom door. Sometimes she’ll jump on our bed and go to sleep, but often she’ll be shaking and acting very disoriented. Sometimes she does this during the day as well, shaking and getting lost in the corners or hiding in the back of a closet. She will frequently just stand in the room and bark her head off for seemingly no reason. And beagles already bark an awful lot.
She is not going potty in the house – yet. But if and when that starts my husband will lose it for sure. Her behavior is starting to seriously affect my marriage. My husband is being patient for now but it’s becoming more and more stressful. He really didn’t want another dog after our first one passed, but after I retired a year later, I wanted a dog. We’ve had her for 4 years and she’s always been quirky. It seems like my options are to put her down, or give her back to the rescue; they will take her back, and who knows what would happen to her then. She does seem to do much better when she is with other dogs. Our house sitter brings her own dog when she stays at our house. The dogs get along well and our dog seems to have far fewer problems during those times – although she’s very clingy and acutely anxious after we do return home.
I really don’t know what to do.
Dear Beth,
I am sorry you are in such a difficult situation with your senior girl. I wish I had some great advice or could tell you exactly what would be best. If your girl is struggling with daily confusion, anxiety, and lack of rest/sleep, her quality of life may be more negatively impacted than you realize. I highly recommend you talk to your vet about these concerns. There might be some medications or supplements that could drastically improve her mental status and behavioral problems. I hope you can find the answers you need to make the best choices for everyone involved. Praying for strength to navigate the hard road ahead.
I’m not sure what to do with our Mugsy. He’s a 13 year old terrier mutt, and hasn’t let us sleep a full night in almost 3 months. He paces in the middle of the night, gets stuck in the corner of our room until we can put him in bed, we realize he’s not really awake. Then he will wake again several times and pant heavily like he’s in pain. He pees in front of us in the house 2-3 times a week, and is so clingy. He sits on my feet as I try to get ready for work and howls even if I’m just trying to sleep in the next room. He still seems to know us, and he eats and drinks (too much). Trazadone, xanax, melatonin, Cbd, calming bites, we’ve tried it all. Nothing is working. My frustration turns to anger and then sadness. I know he does not know what he is doing but I’m so so tired. I don’t know when the right time is to say goodbye. He still seems okay but sleeps most of the day. The other stories here help but I don’t know what to do.
Dear Rachel,
I am so sorry you are in such a difficult situation with Mugsy. From what you describe, it sounds like he is really struggling and dealing with anxiety, confusion, sundowners/lack of sleep and rest. I know you don’t want to choose euthanasia out of convenience but that is not the position you are in. Your quality of life matters too! Caregiver’s fatigue is real and the burden of taking care of a senior dog with end stage dementia can be very heavy. When you are stressed and tired your beloved pup can feel these emotions and it can break the bond the two of you share. This is not fair for either of you. I honestly feel like saying goodbye may be the most loving option and only way to give Mugsy peace from his suffering. I will attach links to other articles with more information and great comments from other readers. I hope you can find the advice you need to make the best decision for you and your sweet boy. Praying for your strength and comfort.
1. Using a Quality of Life Scale for Dogs
2. How Will You Know When It’s Time to Euthanize Your Dog? 5 Caring, Heartfelt Messages
3. Preparing for Your Dog’s Euthanasia: 10 Thoughts for Peace
hello! these stories and comments have been very insightful, yet heartbreaking. my 17 year old shih-tzu has diminished vision due to age, KCS, previous ulcerations, and only having one eye after an enucleation a few years ago. she was already being very moody and grouchy with the other dogs and was having altercations with them a few years ago but after eye removal and it seemed like she pepped up and was feeling better. she had lost alot of weight from 17lbs to 13lbs within this time frame but her tone seems well and losing the weight seemed to also help with her limping as much from her arthritis but within the last year she has been more confused starting with barking at doors occasionally even though i would call her to me. fast forward to the past few months i have noticed that she paces the kitchen alot and the whole house actually. she seems very unaware of social interaction or cues from the other dogs. she is not aggressive anymore with them, yet they are constantly trying to fight with her just for walking by them. at night is worse with getting lost in the rooms. she will start barking for me to get her and sometimes will just be in standing in the middle of the room, be at a wall, corner, door, or even the trashcan. it has been getting worse up to the past 2weeks where she has fallen off the bed almost every night. sleeping alot more than usual. would sometimes greet me at the door but doesnt anymore. she has zero interest in anything other than treats/food she has trouble sensing where they are but sniffs around for food or i have to direct her while other times seems in the middle of eating her food she forgets she is eating and starts wandering off sniffing for more food. has even seemed to be more withdrawn from me not even really caring much for me to pet her. and i know she is declining but she still has moments of she is still aware of things. . seems to sleep well at night overall. i do worry about her not being happy or uncomfortable – of course the other dogs picking at her- i have a toddler and my time and energy is just focused into her. i feel guilty that i should be doing more and even considering putting her to sleep soon especially because of not having much time to focus on her, being frustrated with the house soiling, care, and even finances. i do quality of life assessments on her and im conflicted.. not sure if i should really consider doing this soon or waiting it out because i dont want to do anything too soon and its heart wrenching to think about. thank you in advance for any feedback.
Dear Jenn,
My heart goes out to you with the difficult situation you are in with your senior girl. Saying goodbye is so hard and often times not clear or straight forward. I do think your pup is nearing the end of her days and her quality of life sounds diminished. I will attach links to other articles with more information and great advice from other readers. I honestly think it is better to let go one day too early rather than wait one day too late and allow unnecessary suffering. I am hopeful you will find the answers you need to make the best choice for you and your girl. Wishing you strength to face this unknown path and comfort for your heart.
1. Using a Quality of Life Scale for Dogs
2. Preparing for Your Dog’s Euthanasia: 10 Thoughts for Peace
3. How Will You Know When It’s Time to Euthanize Your Dog? 5 Caring, Heartfelt Messages
Thank you so much for your site with the information and feedbacks! Reading others stories are helpful to bring comfort. Saw the vet for a quality of life assessment as her symptoms progressed rapidly over the past 5 months and My sweet Dutches was euthanized this past Thursday. Her anxiety and confusion was so bad even after having trazodone for anxiety prior to her vet appointment. I am still struggling with the decision some because her anxiety was so bad at the appointment but I know it was her time and felt possibly a bit too late as I brought her no real comfort anymore. But as the vet explained that I made the right decision and she would not get better while still even having flicker of good moments before it got much worse due to her advanced CCD. And vision was severely impaired. Losing any animal and making those decisions is horrible! CCD was so hard to watch and gauge because you couldn’t see the physical ailment itself. As hard as it is I know it was time to ease her pain and stress by setting her free and letting her go.
Thank you again for this wonderful site and all you do!!
Dear Jenn,
I am sorry for your loss of Dutches. Saying goodbye was the ultimate act of selfless love and only way to offer your sweet girl freedom from her struggles. I can only imagine how much she is missed. I hope the memories you shared will be with you always and offer some comfort and peace. Thank you for sharing your experience with us. Bless you. ♥
I have multiple rescue dogs and Holly is no different. I came across her picture on the local shelter website. 18 years old and found as a stray. She has mammary masses, arthritis, partially blind, skin condition, UTI, and overall looks rickety. Her body shows that she is 18. The days kept going by and she was still on the website. So I made an appointment and brought her home. The first week was awful. The joy of bringing a new dog home wasn’t there. She paced and paced for hours in the backyard. But by the second week she learned where the patio door is so she can come and go to potty by herself. She is able to find the water and a couple different beds in the house. She wags her tail and gets more energy when the other dogs get excited.
BUT she paces constantly. She will sleep for maybe three hours max at a time before pacing some more and needing food. Food is the only thing that calms her and she will lay down again. She can be picky though and I’ve found baby food is what she likes. At night she will wake up every couple of hours, some nights every hour, and I take her out potty and she lays back down. By 430/530 am, after an exhausting night, she is up and won’t lay back down. I have her confined for safety and she will find a way to climb out of the area she’s in. Being confined causes her a lot of stress.
I have treated her for an ear infection, heart disease, and I’ve had her teeth cleaned. I have tried gabapentin but it only makes her lose function in her back legs. Doesnt make her sleep or rest.
I found this article as I sit here at 630am after getting very little sleep wondering whether I’m doing the right thing while she is pacing the house. We’ve been up since 5 and I’m already exhausted. She has gone to the restroom and I have fed her. I have tried laying her down on her bed and she will lay there with drowsy eyes and then she just bounced back up.
I just asked my vet for suggestions and we are trying trazadone at night but she’s still waking up a few times at night.
I just keep asking myself….is this quality of life not only for her but for me too? I’m tired all the time right now and stretched thin. The excessive pacing is exhausting to watch and I can’t imagine what it feels like on her old joints and bones.
I tell myself that she has learned stuff since I’ve brought her home, like finding the door to go outside and will follow me and wga her tail but, she isn’t interested in affection and there is the constant pacing and need for food every couple of hours.
Is this living or surviving? I just don’t know since I haven’t watched these changes happen since I’ve had her on my 7 weeks.
Dear Gemma,
My heart goes out to you with the difficult situation you are in with Holly. I am amazed at your mercy and willingness to offer a sweet old senior pup a loving home for the time she has left. From what you describe, it does sound like Holly may be just surviving and her quality of life is diminished. If I had to guess, the restless nights may be what caused her previous owner to abandon her. I feel like you will probably have to make a hard choice in the near future about when to say goodbye. I pray for your strength and comfort and hope when the time comes it will be clear. Thank you for the love you have shared with sweet Holly. Bless you both.
We have an 18 yr old lab that began developing dementia early last year. We have tried Trazadone, Bachs Rescue Remedy for Pets, supplements, Melatonin and others. Each worked for a short time but now nothing is working. She sleeps most of the day but by mid afternoon begins the barking/pacing . Sometimes the bark is almost like a yip/yelp sound but most times its an extremely loud “woof” Recently she has starting growling at whatever she “sees”, she paces most of the night (literally the barking/pacing goes on for hours), bumps into things, gets lost in corners, behind doors or stands there as others on here have described. She has falling down the steps twice in the past 2 months even though we have baby gates up. She was able to somehow push through them and by some miracle wasn’t injured. We are exhausted, our other pets are exhausted as we are up most of the night consistently now with having to work during the day. If we sleep 3 – 4 hours it’s a “good” night. A few months ago it would be a few nights a week we would be dealing with this but its every night now. As someone else stated it’s difficult to relax because there is no rhyme or reason to when the barking/pacing will begin/stop on any given day/night and her behavior startles/scares our other pets with the loud barking especially. She has been incontinent for years of urine but in the past 2 months she has been increasing incontinent with her bowls. We have washable pee pads and I am washing upwards of 10 loads a DAY because of how much she is going (mostly urine). . She use to like going outside, sitting on the porch with us or by herself for a few hours to enjoy the weather but has no interest in that anymore. She stays upstairs all the time now by her choice. If we can get her down the stairs and outside she wants right back in and right back upstairs. She would stay with us down stairs on the couch while we watched tv but has no interest in that either. She is not aggressive toward our other pets but she does not interact with them at all anymore. She will eat and drinks water but her interest level in both is not the same. She doesn’t mind if we hug her or kiss her head but she doesn’t want a lot of petting anymore Its like she has isolated herself. She doesn’t not appear to be in physical pain though it is harder for her to get up/down due to arthritis. She doesn’t have much stamina now.. We live in a very small house and she goes from one room to another (10 feet maybe) and will be panting.
My husband thinks we need to move ahead for her sake and ours with euthanasia. I am torn because I feel guilty as I don’t want the decision to be made out of exhaustion over the situation. But I don’t see things getting better either. Dementia is a such a cruel disease.
Thank you for “listening”
Dear Christina,
I am sorry your senior girl is suffering with end stage dementia. I can only imagine how difficult it is to continue caretaking for her each day and to watch her struggle. I know you don’t want to choose euthanasia out of convenience, but that is not the situation you are facing. From what you describe, your sweet girl’s quality of life is very poor. She spends each day dealing with anxiety and stress, cannot rest, is confused, isolated, and no longer finds joy in her day-to-day routine. I agree with your husband that saying goodbye may be the most loving option and the only way to give your beloved pup the peace and freedom she deserves. I hope you can find the advice you need to make the tough choices ahead. Praying for your strength and comfort. Bless you all.
We adopted our Tofu (samoyed) when he was 9 years old, with severe skin issues, hyperthyroidism and dry eye (KCS). He was jumping on and off sofa, was very playful and active. Over the past years his in osteoarthritis and hip dysplasia have gotten worse, but Tofu started to withdraw a bit, choosing to sleep outside than napping in our presence e.g when we are at home. Now, at 13yo he is blind, but navigates in our granny flat perfectly. Over the last 2 weeks I noticed him getting confused (e.g staring at the corner, not realising where my voice is coming from or where the food bowl is- we need to navigate him). When we leave for work/shopping etc we used to give him kong with peanut butter, so he instantly lied down and went for it. Now, he just stands and stares at it like he forgets what to do with it. He’s become more restless and he cannot settle when we leave for work, to that point that Tofu was pacing around the house for 3 hours once, before finally lying down (we have in house camera). Now he is on trazadone which helps a bit with that. He still has appetite (he’s always loved food) and 2 walks per day is a must and sometimes he does a bit of zoomies in the garden.
Me and my husband are going to Europe in May for 4 weeks to see our family. Two of my friends will stay with Tofu and will take care of him. But it is so daunting on me. What if he gets worse while we away? Suddenly deteriorates? I don’t want to put anyone in that situation, neither Tofu nor my friends. If Tofu deteriorates, I wanna be with him to say final goodbye.
I’m a vet nurse and I know how dementia works, I’ve seen pets with severe dementia, being deprived of dignity and quality of life, because owners were not ready to say goodbye. I see/ talk about euthanasia every day at work, but thinking that I will need to make that decision sooner than later for Tofu is devastating. It’s bearing on me so much recently,but I don’t want him to suffer and be unhappy.
Dear Maggie,
My heart aches for you and this difficult situation you are in with Tofu. Being in the veterinary field yourself can sometimes be a curse because we know far too much about all the “what ifs”. I wish I had some great advice or could tell you what was best. All I can offer is my sympathy and tell you that I’m praying for you and your sweet boy. It is clear your pup is dearly loved, and I am certain he knows. Wishing you strength to face this unknown path ahead and comfort for you both. Bless you. ♥
Thank you for a great article! I just left from putting my 16 year old Llsa Aspa down. She suffered from dementia and her days consisted of wandering aimlessly through the house. getting stuck in corners and crannies until she was tired. Our days had turned into trying to make sure she went out hourly and and cleaning urine. And trying to make sure she was comfortable when she needed the rest. I had tried 5 times to lay her to rest prior to today. My internal fight was guilt. Was I doing this because she was a handful Was I not honoring my commitment as a mom to her by not allowing her to get old as we all will. Should I have done more to accommodate this time in her life out of love. Was I killing her because she went through the phases of life. All these things burned my mind. Today we woke up to a cage full of urine and poop. She was covered in it. And bath times are so uncomfortable for her as he also had arthritis. But every morning this was becoming the norm. We would literally need to get up hourly to 2 hours throughout the night to avoid this. Today had to be the day, or else I would not have done it. We cleaned her up gave her a good smell good bath and headed tot he Vet. We are exhausted as we also run our own business that is taking much of our energy. Your article covered most of our feelings. And I appreciate it. Now I can start the healing process, and know that we made the best decision and not a selfish decision. But.. its still hard.
Dear Iris,
My heart goes out to you as you grieve the loss of your sweet girl. I am glad you found the article to be comforting and let me say that I agree you made the right decision. Saying goodbye was a loving choice that offered your pup relief from her suffering. You went above and beyond to keep her as comfortable and happy as possible. I have no doubt she knew how much she was loved. I pray with time your heart will heal. May her memory live on and be a blessing in your life.
I’m struggling with what to do about my senior boy …he’s an English Bull Terrier, almost 11, who has exhibited rage in the last few weeks toward our other bully in the house, and last night he bit me on the ankle, in full on rage. He’s been changing alot in the last 3 years…sleeps 20 hrs a day, paces when he’s awake, stands and stares alot. We have to wake him to go out, and he is now losing weight…only gets up to interact if my daughter comes by, and then goes and stares at the wall. The other night he picked a fight with our other bully, then finished the fight at the wall…fighting the wall…I have never seen anything like that. So much rage. I picked him up and held him in my lap, and he was trembling and confused. When he bit me, he nearly knocked me down by shaking my leg. I never thought he’d turn on me, and I’ve never been afraid of him until now. I’m heartbroken…and I don’t want to make the decision that is coming.
Any advice would be welcomed.
Dear Dedra,
My heart aches for you and this tragic situation you are in with your senior boy. I know you don’t want to have to make the tough emotional decision to say goodbye, but it sounds like you already know it is probably necessary. Letting go may be the most loving option and only way to free your poor boy from his suffering and mental struggles. I hope you can find the strength and advice you need to face the difficult path ahead. Bless you. ♥
Thank you so much for this article. It’s very difficult to to experience this decline with our loved pets. Our pittie is 13 and not doing so well. He has bad allergies and has been on daily apoquel for about 7 years. It seems he’s no longer able to see or hear, and gets confused when he has to go out. He was standing at the kitchen sink cabinets to go out last night just standing there with his head near the door waiting and he gets confused on which side of the door will let him back in. He has weekly accidents in the house even though he goes out about every hour and is waking us up multiple times during the night to go out. My husband and I have discussed What to do but always say since he eats and drinks normal we just continue like this until he’s worse
Dear Jill,
I am sorry you are noticing a decline in your dog’s mental state. Dementia is very cruel and causes so many beloved dogs to struggle needlessly. I am glad you found the article to be helpful and informative. Hopefully it has given you the information you needed to make difficult choices when the time arises. Wishing you strength to face this unknown road ahead. Bless you.
Thank you for this wonderful article.
I have a sweet 13.5 year old collie mix that I rescued 13 years ago. During the pandemic, he became my hiking buddy. I continue to work from home and the idea of saying goodbye just grieves me.
He has been dealing with arthritis for 2 years, digestive issues for a year and an anal gland tumor since May. He has been declining in recent weeks– falling down, accidents in the house including in his sleep; getting confused; mostly deaf; and pacing if not sleeping.
My head knows it is time– my heart is broken over it. I am emotionally drained from it all- the accidents I have had to clean up; the worries about his future- he cannot tell me anymore that he needs to go. I assume due to dementia.
To make matters worse, we are going on vacation in 3 weeks and I am worried that he will continue to decline and that I will be out of the country if that happens. So hard- every other animal has had health issues like cancer where it was an easier decision to make
Going to the vet later today to have a discussion and probably make an appointment in the coming week.
Dear Kirsten,
I am sorry you are facing this difficult decision with your sweet boy. I can only imagine how emotional it must be to watch his condition steadily decline. It is clear from your words just how much you love him, and I am certain he knows. I think it is a good idea to have this discussion with your vet and allow them to assess his quality of life. Praying for comfort and strength for your heart. Bless you both. ♥
I have a 13 year old husky, Gnar, with dementia. it’s been about 10 months since we figured it out. his whole life Gnar has been extremely gentle, smart, independent, and loving. there are definitely still glimpses of his true personality and he can still walk 2+ miles a day. but the dementia progresses weekly and it is absolutely exhausting. he has started to nip out of excitement (mostly at me), poops in the house at least a few times a week, has forgotten all commands and I think his name, doesn’t recognize me sometimes… and the pacing is almost nonstop. he obsessively circles to the right, especially at night. I give him gabapentin and it helps sedate him enough to at least sleep a few hours. a few months ago I was resistant to giving him any meds for this, but now it’s a matter of us getting at least 2 hours of sleep a night. I have some support but it’s mostly me caring for him, and I have to be really strategic to even leave the house for a few hours.
2 weeks ago we moved out of an apartment and to a huge farm where he has free range. I thought it would help his quality of life but he has been extremely stressed, cannot remember where our front door is, and can’t seem to learn any new routines. I feel at a loss. ive had many break downs this week because of lack of sleep and nothing I do seems to help him..he doesn’t even really seek comfort from me at this point. he still enjoys food and is active, so it’s been hard to know what to do, but I’m reaching a breaking point for sure.
Dear Eva,
I am so sorry you are in this difficult situation with Gnar. It does sounds like his dementia has progressed to an end stage and he is really struggling. It is incredibly hard to know how bad things are when he physically seems to be ok. I do think mental disease can cause just as much suffering, if not more, than physical disease. I know you want to do what is best for your senior guy, but your quality of life matters too. Caregiver fatigue is real! Saying goodbye may be the most loving option and the only way to give Gnar relief from his mental decline. I always think it is better to let go one day too early rather than one day too late and allow unnecessary suffering. I will attach links to other articles with more information and great advice from other readers. I hope you can find the answers you need to face these emotional decisions ahead. Praying for your strength and comfort. Bless you both.
1. Using a Quality of Life Scale for Dogs
2. Preparing for Your Dog’s Euthanasia: 10 Thoughts for Peace
3. How Will You Know When It’s Time to Euthanize Your Dog? 5 Caring, Heartfelt Messages
I am so glad to have found this article and all the comments of other pet parents. Our Pepper (miniature Schnauzer) will be 13 in a couple of weeks and I am unsure of what to do. Last year I noticed her eyeball was swelling and found that she had cancer in her eye. She had surgery to remove it which worked very well, but we didn’t do a biopsy so don’t know if the cancer has gone into her brain. She has a bad cataract in the other eye so now is virtually blind and is almost completely deaf. She gets around pretty well and is eating and drinking normally. We had to put up barriers around our pool as she ended up in it 3 times. Thankfully our other dogs barked in a way that alerted me and I was able to get her out without any issues. The problem at this time is that she walks around the house not knowing where she is, goes outside every night at about 8:00pm and starts barking at nothing. It goes on and on. I get her back in and she goes right back out as soon as she can. My husband says that most likely she has Sundowners and after reading the descriptions it really fits. I have to keep the doggie door closed up to keep her inside at night or she would keep barking until the wee hours. I open it when I am completely sure that she has gone to sleep for the night so our other dogs can use it. The other issue is that she has been getting aggressive with our other dogs. In particular she follows our Schnoodle and the two of them get into it. I hate to have to pull them apart, but neither of them understand what’s happening and I have to do it. I also worry about my toy Schnauzer (who has no idea that she’s small 😊) getting into a fight with her. Little Teenie wouldn’t stand a chance. I wouldn’t want to consider euthanasia as a convenience for me, but wonder if it would be the most loving thing for Pepper. Thank you so much again for the article.
Dear Christine,
I am so sorry you are in such a difficult situation with Pepper. From what you describe, euthanasia would not be a convenience but rather a loving act of mercy. It sounds like your sweet girl spends most of her days and nights dealing with confusion, anxiety, and aggression. I am sure this is not the life either of you would choose for her. Saying goodbye may be the only way to give her peace and freedom from her struggles. I will attach links to other articles with more information and great comments from other readers. I am hopeful you will find the advice you need to make the best decision for everyone involved. I’ll be keeping you and Pepper in my thoughts. Praying for comfort and strength.
1. Using a Quality of Life Scale for Dogs
2. Preparing for Your Dog’s Euthanasia: 10 Thoughts for Peace
3. Dog Euthanasia: Knowing When to Say Goodbye
Our Chihuahua/terrier mix, Doug is 15.5 years old. We rescued him when he was 10, but he was sharp and spry even at that age. Over the past six months or so, he has been anxious every single night, pacing, whining to go to another room (we have baby gates up), then whining to come back to the room he was just in. If we let him roam the house, he will pee (even if he’s just been out) and will poop and eat it. He does this routine every single night now where he jumps off the couch, does the pacing/whining, then cries to come back on the couch, repeat x 100. It’s gotten to the point where nights are no longer enjoyable. We cannot rest after putting the kids to bed and working a full day. Instead, we’re following Doug around, trying to figure out what it is that he wants. We are frustrated and stressed, angry and annoyed, which makes me feel guilty. We love him so much, but it’s just become so unbearably irritating that my husband and I don’t know how much more we can take. I’d feel awful putting him down, but is he enjoying his life or is he always anxious and confused? I’m really not sure. We’ve tried medications from the vet (he’s on Prozac, trazadone, and gabapentin) and none of them have made a difference. I am at a loss.
Dear J,
My heart goes out to you with this difficult situation you are in with Doug. Unfortunately, what you are describing is very common with dogs suffering from Dementia. You are not alone. I do think the anguish caused by mental disease can be just as bad, if not worse, as the pain that comes with physical disease. Doug is not getting the rest he needs to keep his body functioning properly and the daily stress can take a toll as well. I don’t think euthanasia is a bad choice for your sweet boy. It may be the most loving option and only way to give him peace. Your quality of life matters too! Stress from being a caretaker can definitely impact the bond you share with Doug. You can feel the tension and he can too. This isn’t fair to either one of you. I will attach links to other articles with more information and great advice from other readers. I hope you can find the answers you need to make the best decision for everyone involved. Wishing you strength to face the difficult days ahead.
1. Using a Quality of Life Scale for Dogs
2. Preparing for Your Dog’s Euthanasia: 10 Thoughts for Peace
3. Sundowners in Dogs: A Veterinarian’s Guide
4. How Will You Know When It’s Time to Euthanize Your Dog? 5 Caring, Heartfelt Messages
I was just given/rescued a small 10lb yorkie/terrier mix that is 16 years old. I have now been told she has advanced dementia due to her behavior by a vet. She hasn’t gone outside to potty at all, she has been taken out every hour but never once has she gone; I now have her in diapers, she paces non-stop, and when outside she just walks the perimeter of the yard and never does any of her business. The rescue I got her from has washed their hands of her and suggested I put her down. I have only had her for a few days. I understand patience with her to see if things improve; I never expected her to have such an awful illness when I agreed to take her, she was given to me for free – yes I know a major red flag! I am beside myself and don’t want to make this decision; I asked the rescue to take her back but their response was she is the least of their worries.
Dear Michele,
I am so sorry you are facing this most difficult decision for this tiny girl. I know you don’t want to have to be the one to make this choice, but maybe this is why you found each other. She needed someone to love her enough to let go and offer her peace and rest. How are things today? I am praying for your strength and for clarity in the decision-making process. Your selflessness is to be admired. Bless you and your sweet girl. ♥
Thank you so much for this article. It brought me great comfort on a very difficult day. Our sweet 14-year-old maltipoo, Louis, has had these dementia symptoms for 3+ years, but they worsened a lot in the last year. We had many restless nights trying to comfort him as he dealt with bad anxiety, and in addition to the cognitive decline, he also had difficulty walking and standing. He needed 24/7 care and it was taking a toll on us all, but we happily sacrificed our time and well-being in order to keep him calm and happy. Two days ago, his anxiety reached new levels and he was barking, howling, and moaning nonstop, unless he managed to fall asleep. Nothing we did seemed to alleviate his stress and it was so painful to see him suffering like that. I know we did the right thing, as hard as it was, and your article really helps me to feel at peace with our decision. I will miss Louis so much, but I am grateful for our 14 wonderful years together.
Dear Sophie,
I am sorry for your loss of Louis. I know saying goodbye was heartbreaking, but what a blessing you were able to offer your sweet pup peace from his suffering. It is obvious he was well loved, and you did everything in your power to make sure he was happy and cared for. I can only imagine the wonderful memories you must have after spending 14 years together! I hope with time your heart will heal and those memories will bring you joy. I am glad you found some comfort in reading the article and I hope your comment will do this for others as well. Bless you.
This article was very helpful. I have a 15 year old male Collie, Boxer, German Shepard Mix named “Honda”. He is the family’s puppy and very close and dear to our hearts. Lately Honda has been pacing the house a lot especially at night and is whining continuously more and more and we take him out to go potty or show him love and affection and sometimes that just makes matters worse and we are up with him almost all night. We know that his time is near but we are at a crossroads with our decision. My husband ( who’s dog it actually is) does not want to put him down cause he hasn’t been able to spend much time with him with being gone the past 9 years so he feels like he has missed out on his life, I however having a medical nursing field in dementia ( worked in nursing homes the past 19 years) sees what this disease does to a human and can’t bear to make him suffer with these symptoms any more, it tears my heart to shreads thinking that we are being selfish for making him go through this pain and agony cause we don’t want to say goodbye to ” our child” So if you could please give me your advice in this matter asap I would greatly appreciate it so we don’t make him suffer anymore then he is right now if he is ready to g0. Thank you and God Bless.
Hi Victoria,
I am sorry you are in such a difficult situation with Honda. It sounds like you have already made peace with the decision to let go but your husband just isn’t there yet. I am not sure there is really anything I can say to help change his mind other than I agree with you. I truly think mental disease in dogs causes just as much suffering, if not more, than physical disease. I always try to err on the side of quality of life rather than quantity and would rather say goodbye one day too early instead of one day too late and allow unnecessary suffering. I will attach links to several other articles that may offer additional information and great advice from other readers. I hope you can find the answers you need to help make the best decision for everyone involved. Praying for your strength and comfort. Give Honda a big hug for me.
1. Using a Quality of Life Scale for Dogs
2. Sundowners in Dogs: A Veterinarian’s Guide
3. Preparing for Your Dog’s Euthanasia: 10 Thoughts for Peace
4. Dog Euthanasia: Knowing When to Say Goodbye
thanks for tge article.
we are dealing with dementia with my 14 year old pug Zoey.
she is also deaf and blind. Recently she has had seizures, though brief are grand Mal types.
She is becoming more incontinent. we can let her outside and she will just stare and forget what to do. she will then come in and poop ir pee in front of us. almost every morning we have to clean out the kennel as she has slept in excrement.
I feel guilty because she eats and sleeps well but she’s not herself anymore. I am frustrated and sad. my husband and I are thinking it maybe time to let her go. I mostly agree but I hate feeling I am ending her life prematurely.
Lorna
Dear Lorna,
My heart goes out to you with this difficult situation you are in with Zoey. I agree that saying goodbye may be the most loving option and only way to give your sweet girl peace from her daily struggles. I think it is better to let go one day too early rather than one day too late and allow unnecessary suffering. It is clear Zoey is dearly loved and I am certain she knows. I hope you can find the advice you need to make the best decision for everyone involved. Wishing you strength to face the tough times ahead and comfort for your heart.
At a loss at what to do with our 15 year old yorkie, it appears that she has gone completely deaf and blind. She spends most of her time in her bed, the other times she is just walking around the house running into things. She doesn’t want stay on the couch and cuddle with us. She has accidents on the floor quite frequently. It doesn’t appear that she’s in any physical pain and she’s very much interested in eating and drinking. Parts of me thinks she’s not in any pain, keep her around and the other part of me thinks that she’s completely lost herself and her family; let her be free.
Dear Jordan,
That is such a tough situation. I understand your concern for your dog’s wellbeing and how difficult it is to truly assess her quality of life. I do think that mental disease can be just as bad, if not worse, than physical disease. It is not wrong to consider euthanasia in this specific instance. Sometimes saying goodbye is the only way to give a beloved pup peace and relief from their struggles. I will attach links to other articles with more information and great advice from other readers. I hope you can find the answers you need to make the best decision for you and your senior girl. Bless you both.
1. Using a Quality of Life Scale for Dogs
2. Preparing for Your Dog’s Euthanasia: 10 Thoughts for Peace
3. How Will You Know When It’s Time to Euthanize Your Dog? 5 Caring, Heartfelt Messages
Thankyou. For your kind article
We have Fred a lurcher who we rescued when he was a year. He is now 15 and sleeps all day but not at night now
He is losing weight and nearly blind and cry’s at night
I have got up and am lying on my settee with him and he has settled
I think I will ask the vet to put him to sleep now. As we have tried anxiety drugs prescribed by the vet but they are not helping
He has been such a gentle and loving dog but sadly I think it is time to say goodbye
Dear Jan,
I am sorry Fred is struggling with dementia and nighttime anxiety. From what you describe, it does sound like saying goodbye may be the most loving option. I am glad the article was helpful and could offer some peace for your heart. Praying for your strength to face the difficult decisions ahead. Bless you and your sweet boy.
Our 15-year-old pug has every single dementia symptom you’ve listed here. She also has a spinal issue and her hind legs get stuck to where she cannot stand and needs assistance going potty. We’ve been looking into a wheelchair for her. She’s had epilepsy off and on for 10 years, had a very scary spell of back-to-back seizures in May, but responded well to medication, so that is under control at least. However, her environment has been shaken up lately and she’s not responding well at all. We adopted another dog in July, then moved into a house in December. We specifically chose a single-story house with a yard because she could no longer climb three flights of stairs to our former apartment, and we felt it would be easier on her to go outside in the new home. However, she’s been constantly confused for over a month now and is pooping every 2-3 hours. For the most part, she refuses to poop outside, even if we walk her for 45min-1hr. She is exclusively pooping in her bed. Most days, it’s 3-4 times, but there are days where she poops 6-7 times per day in her bed, She steps in her poop and tracks it around the house, so we’ve had to stop letting her on furniture and crate her when we’re not around. During the night, no matter what we do (walking her right before bed, feeding her earlier in the day, changing dog foods, etc.) she poops in her bed and sleeps in it. Lately, a newer behavior is that she obsessively licks the places where she’d previously pooped. She’s given herself giardia at least 3 or 4 times. If we find the poop in the house and clean it up, we’ll have to keep an eye on her because she tries to lick where the cleaning chemicals were sprayed. We have to give her baths every other day because the poop gets in her fur and the smell in our new house is unbearable, but that has caused me to develop a severe dog allergy (for the first time in my life) and I no longer can touch her without breaking out in hives. On top of this, her behavior has changed towards our new dog, and she is being aggressive, bullying the dog (which is smaller than she is), stealing our new dog’s food and bed, etc. We hope to start a family within the year, but I cannot imagine bringing a baby into this stressful environment. We know that her parents lived to be 18 years old, and we had truly hoped we could enjoy 2-3 more years with her. This is creating stress and overwhelm, and I just wonder about her quality of life. Her vet doesn’t think it’s time to euthanize yet, but I wonder if she’d be happier rehomed somewhere that she can get more hands-on care for a senior dog. I just don’t know of any solutions as it seems that nothing we’ve tried is working for her. It makes us feel like we’re failing her and we feel hopeless.
Dear Brittany,
My heart aches for you and this difficult situation you are in with your senior Pug. It can be very hard to truly assess quality of life when dealing with mental disease. I do think mental disease can cause as much suffering as physical disease, if not more. From what you describe, your girl is struggling daily with stress, obsessive behaviors, aggression, incontinence, and confusion. This does not sound like a happy and joyful life to me. You are not alone. Many in your situation are worried about choosing euthanasia because they don’t want it to be out of convenience, but sometimes letting go can be the most loving option. Your quality of life matters too! Caregiver fatigue is real, and your pup can feel the stress and tension in the house. It is in these situations that the bond between you and your beloved dog can become a bit broken. This isn’t fair for either one of you. Choosing to say goodbye is ok and I think the stress of rehoming might be very difficult for your sweet girl who is already so confused. I will attach links to other articles with more information and great advice from other readers. I hope you can find the answers you need to make the best choice for everyone involved. Praying for clarity and strength to face the days ahead. Bless you all. ♥
1. Using a Quality of Life Scale for Dogs
2. Dog Euthanasia: Knowing When to Say Goodbye
3. Preparing for Your Dog’s Euthanasia: 10 Thoughts for Peace
Thank you for the article and for the comments. I feel very isolated and alone in dealing with this issue and it helps to read about others to know I’m not alone. My sweet girl Roxy is the love of my life. She’s a 14-year-old Border Collie that I rescued 13 years ago. Her and I have a very special bond as I’m 42 and single with no kids. She’s my kid. I would say about 2 years ago she started showing signs of cognitive decline. She would pace around the house, pant and shiver all the time. She started peeing in the house. as it progressed she would get stuck in corners, not recognize her food or water bowls, and she poops in the house and then walks circles in it and it gets everywhere. i have to bath her probably four to five times a week. it’s very stressful to me because I just got a new house and I feel like it’s getting ruined every day. I also have a really bad back from carrying her in and out of the bathtub. I was in an apartment building on the second floor before, and I had to carry her up and down the stairs for 2 years because her back legs are really bad. She has some type of arthritis or degenerative condition where sometimes she drags her back legs or has weakness. her balance is also pretty bad and she stumbles a lot. we used to go on walks but now we just walk around the yard at my house and sometimes that’s a struggle. unfortunately, it’s been really hard to find a good veterinarian to help me with this. there’s only one veterinarian in town that will even see me and it’s because they see my mother’s pets, and they allowed me to put my dog on her account. No other vets in the area are taking patients. Roxy is on Deramax for pain and arthritis, she also gets injections in her hips on a monthly basis and she gets laser treatments for her legs/spine weekly. I have anxiety meds for her but it made me uncomfortable to give them because it seems like it gave her an increased heart rate.
4 years ago, I had to put my cat down and it was a very stressful thing for me. every time I think of putting my dog down I have a panic attack and I’m terrified of going through that pain again. I know that they say the most humane thing to do is to be with your dog when they’re euthanized. I just don’t know how I can do that with my anxiety disorder, and I pray every night that she’ll peacefully pass in her sleep. I really don’t know what to do because after my cat was euthanized, i had a mental breakdown that lasted for a few years. I really don’t want to go down that road again but I don’t want to keep Roxy alive just for my own selfish reasons. at the same time I’m really stressed out all the time because I’m constantly caring for her like she’s an infant and I can’t go anywhere or do anything. It really is no win situation, and I feel really alone and heartbroken. I wish I had a good veterinarian that could help me make these difficult decisions. thank you for listening.
Dear Jamie,
My heart aches for you and this difficult situation you are in with Roxy. Please know that Roxy’s end of life journey does not have to look like everyone else’s just for it to be the “best” choice. If you cannot be in the room with Roxy because it would leave you with bad memories or negatively impact your mental state, then please don’t stay in the room. The best end of life experience is the one that leaves you comforted knowing your sweet girl is at peace. Saying goodbye is always sad and trying to find a way forward can be difficult and emotional. I highly recommend you take a look at the website for Lap of Love: https://www.lapoflove.com/
They are veterinarians that make house calls for hospice care and in home euthanasia. Even if you don’t want to say goodbye at your house, they can still help you decide what would make it easiest for you and Roxy and guide you through the process. There are also great resources on the website for dealing with grief. I am also going to attach links to other articles with more information and great advice from other readers. I am praying for your strength as you navigate this tough path. Bless you and sweet Roxy. ♥
1. Preparing for Your Dog’s Euthanasia: 10 Thoughts for Peace
2. Grieving the Loss of a Dog After Euthanasia (& Finding Peace)
3. How Will You Know When It’s Time to Euthanize Your Dog? 5 Caring, Heartfelt Messages
Jamie,
Your message hit home to me, and I thank you for it because I know how difficult it is. My dog, Butch, is 17 years old. I rescued him as a puppy 16 years ago, and he is my baby. I also don’t have children. His cognitive decline started a little over a year ago and has gotten worse. This article has given me some solace to know that I am not alone and that the behaviors exhibited are all part of dementia. It’s heart breaking when he looks at me like a stranger, and nervously paces the house hours on end. I have him on Trazedone and Gabapetin to ease the severe Seperation anxiety he gets during the day, but his quality of life has left. I feel as though he running purely on adrenaline. Reading this article and the comments has truly helped me, and I thank everyone for their time to write them. It’s one of the hardest decisions of my life to know when to finally put him at rest.
Jessica
Hi Jessica,
I am sorry your senior guy is struggling with the effects of dementia. I am glad you found some comfort from the advice and experience of other readers. My heart goes out to you as you face the difficult choices ahead. Praying for your strength and peace for Butch. Give your sweet boy a hug for me. ♥
I really don’t know what to think. My 15 year old dachshund, Spookie, is no longer an enjoyable dog. She paces, whines, and licks the couch practically constantly. She poops and pees in the house every day, and recently has done so on our couch. Trazodone was effective for a time but now even with a double dose she wakes up 1-3 times every night and tries to get out of bed to pace around the bedroom. She has more than once kept me awake for hours a night. She doesn’t wag her tail at me or want to cuddle more often than not. She doesn’t listen to basic commands and has no interest in going on walks with the family and our other dogs. After having my son 5 months ago this has all gone from difficult to beyond frustrating and overwhelming. On the other hand she does seem excited to get food and has moments she wants to be in my lap and I am just afraid I want to put her down for my convenience and that I’m being selfish.
Dear Amy,
My heart goes out to you as you face this difficult situation with your senior pup. From what you describe, it sounds like your girl is suffering from advanced cognitive dysfunction/dementia. I know it can be hard to make decisions about quality of life when most of the issues are mental instead of physical. But I definitely think mental suffering can be just as bad, if not worse, than physical suffering. It is not wrong to consider euthanasia for your pup. With all you are dealing with, no vet would think you were making this decision purely out of convenience. With that being said, you have to think about your quality of life as well. In situations like this, the stress of being a caretaker can cause the bond between you and your pup to be broken. You can both feel this distance and it isn’t fair to either one of you. Offering Spookie peace and rest is a very loving and unselfish act. I will attach links to other articles with more information and great advice from other readers. I hope you can find the answers you need to make the best choice for everyone involved. Praying for your strength and comfort. Bless you. ♥
1. Using a Quality of Life Scale for Dogs
2. Preparing for Your Dog’s Euthanasia: 10 Thoughts for Peace
3. How Will You Know When It’s Time to Euthanize Your Dog? 5 Caring, Heartfelt Messages
I’m so glad I came across this article and reading everyone’s comments we don’t feel so alone in this struggle. Our Roxy girl is 16.5 years old (golden retriever bichon mix) and has had both physical and mental decline in the last 2 years. She is on thyroid, a specialized kidney diet (and drinks a ton of water and throws up occasionally), pepsid, and takes melatonin with the occasional trazadone when the panting and pacing at night seem more severe. All that being said she can easily and willingly walk 2-3 miles with me and still pull me and gets mistaken for a much younger dog. I feel like this adds to our conflicted thoughts about her quality of life. She is for sure declining but because she can go like the energizer bunny it doesn’t mean she is doing well. The past few weeks she is sleeping by herself and is up panting and pacing 1-2 hours before she finally settles down and sleeps. To add to it she has another skin infection (think puncture wound) on the side of her head that we are treating with antibiotics to see if that closes it or if we need to sedate her and have it incised and stitched like one similar about 1.5 years ago. She is itching it so we have tried using the cone and that made her anxiety worse yesterday. We are supposed to leave in 6 weeks for Arizona for a month. She came with us last year and was awesome but I’m fearful that it will be too much for her this winter. I feel selfish for thinking about not taking her but also don’t want to change up her entire world knowing she is in cognitive decline and putting her through that. This sucks and is so so hard. I wish we could all attach photos of our beloved fur babies.
Dear Heather,
My heart goes out to you as you navigate this difficult time with Roxy. What a blessing to have spent over 16 years together! How are things going with treating the wound on the side of her head? Is laser treatment an option at your veterinary clinic? I am hopeful you will be able to determine the best course of action when it comes time to travel in a few weeks. Wishing you the best and praying for peace and comfort for sweet Roxy.
Thank you for your article. It helped me with my decision to “let my sweetie pie pie” go. I loved my Scott American Bulldog, Lexy more than words itself. She slept with me in my bed and was my constant companion for 10 years. I fostered her with her 8 puppies from our local Marine Base Animal Shelter in 2012 when she was 1 1/2. After reading about doggie dementia I began to rewind the last year and noticed that she was showing me so many signs that I never realized. She began having seizures 6 months ago and had a total of 12 before her dementia kicked in. But, her symptoms came on very fast and worse by the hour. I knew her days we limited when I noticed her changing so fast. She bagan peeing in the house weeks before and sundowning but I just assumed it was old age. Until the day she paced and bumped into walls for 10 hours straight, I decided that I loved her too much to make her suffer for me. I wished she’d just die in her sleep but could not bear her becoming so fearful and lost. She deserved better after all those faithful years. It’s been 2 weeks since I let her go and it has been so painful. I cry often and know it will just take time. But, luckily I took video of her last days to remember what she was going through and when I view them it helps me remember that I did what was best for HER. I remember saying to her, “I love you, Lexy and I wish I could go as easy, with you”. It’s not easy being without her but I try to remind myself that our beloved dogs lifespan is much shorter than a humans. And as a 88 lb dog hers was in the 10-12 yr range. Having seizures for 6 months, urinary infections, kidney problems and prior tumors removed in recent years; I knew in my heart that there were no more options to keep her alive. As a shelter dog who had puppies in the shelter, she had always remained a fearful dog and her most comfortable spot was always right next to me. I could no longer bear to watch her cry out of confusion and knew it was the right time to let her go because I loved her, that much. It’s never easy and I still miss her daily. May we all rest in peace someday, as I know my Lexy is now. Until we meet again my love, I will love you forever.
Dear Kathy,
This is such a beautiful tribute to your sweet girl. It is clear that Lexy was a once in a lifetime kind of pup and very well loved. I have no doubt she knew how much you cared for her, and her life was better just for sharing it with you. Thank you for being willing to share you experience. Your words will offer comfort to others in a similar situation. May Lexy’s memory continue to be a blessing in your life. ♥
I just lost my Toby on November 27 2022. He has been struggling with Cushing’s disease and has been medicated with vetoryl. He was diagnosed 1yr and 6months ago. They adjusted his meds because in May of 2022 he started losing weight. Then in September 2022 he started being distant. Getting lost in house, standing in corners and not knowing who we were anymore. He took his last breaths in my arms November 27 SUNDAY NIGHT 2022. HE WAS 11 1/2 YRS. OLD. I AM SO BESIDE myself. I miss him so much. I feel ever since he started taking Vetoryl he went down hill. I hope the meds. did not kill him. I have so much pain and can’t sleep so far for 3 days. From May of 2022 to November 2022 he just lost every ounce of quality of life. Someone please help
Dear Lisa,
My heart aches for you and your recent loss of Toby. Hopefully I can give you some peace of mind about the changes you saw over the last 6 months. In my experience, what you are describing sounds like canine cognitive dysfunction and not side effects of Vetoryl. I think you did the right thing by continuing to medicate Toby for his Cushing’s disease. This probably gave you more time with him than you realize. I hope with time you will be comforted knowing you did everything you could for your sweet boy and allow yourself some grace. May Toby’s memory be a blessing. ♥
we have a 15 year old Border who also is on Vetoryl. he has had cushings for at least 10 years. he has started pacing, the odd accident in the house and sleeping a lot. the biggest problem is no interest at all in food. we recently had surgery on him for 13 teeth to be removed but it made no difference to his appetite. we now have to puree his food and with a rubber spoon put it in his mouth and then he will swallow it. This is the only way to get his medication in him. it’s very sad but the only way to keep him alive.
Dear Bev,
I am sorry you are in such a difficult situation with your senior guy. It sounds like you are doing everything you can to keep him happy and comfortable. It is always ok to have your vet do a quality-of-life evaluation and let you know if your pup is nearing the end of his days. Sometimes saying goodbye is the only way to prevent suffering and offer a beloved companion peace and rest. I hope it will be clear when it is time to make tough decisions. Praying for your strength and bless you both.
We have a senior sharpei/chow mix. Over the last year, he has experienced bad anxiety that comes in the form of pacing and panting. For background, he had 3 vestibular episodes between 2020 to 2022. The most recent episode in Feb 2022, he developed this anxiety.
After many vet visits, we aren’t sure if it’s pure anxiety, a tumor or dementia or possibly a mix of all 3. He was on Trazadone for 6 months and it worked like a miracle originally. However, we think he built up a tolerance to it since he was getting it daily. He also gets melatonin at night which still seems to help him sleep.
Any slight change in routine, he gets bent out of shape pacing and panting. Ignoring him does not work. Trying to soothe him does not work. His anxiety has such a hair trigger response that any slight change seems to set it off.
For example, he does not seem to like when we are home during the day anymore unless we stick to our regular work day routine. If we stay home on the weekend like today, it throws him into a panic. If he ends up falling asleep in a different room during the day and we happen to in that room and he notices, he shoots up and starts panting. When we leave the house, he ends up going to nap but we can’t just leave the house everytime he paces/pants. The weird thing is, he wants us home/near him at night. He doesn’t like to cuddle anymore but he likes when we sit on the couch with him. He won’t do this during the day though. If we are not on the couch at night, he pants.
We have had serious conversations about quality of life but it’s hard to know what’s right because he still eats and drinks, uses the bathroom and he gets excited to go on walks. It’s just these fits of anxiety stemming from whatever is going on in his brain that is hard to deal with.
We looked into Anipryl and the reviews seem promising. However, I don’t think the Anipryl will work. I’m 38 weeks pregnant, getting induced next week and not anticipating him reacting well to the huge change in routine which is the baby. My husband is so attached to him (I am too) but seeing him breakdown today and cry hurt me. He wants to try Anipryl and give it a month. He wants him to meet the baby. He wants to exhaust all options. Anipryl seems to be our last resort, but a part of me feels like we should put our boy out of his anxiety before the baby is here and his world is turned upside down.
I feel conflicted. Sometimes I want to “pull the plug” and put him out of his constant state of hair trigger anxiety before the baby gets here. Another part of me feels like I’ll regret not trying the Anipryl and not seeing how he is with the baby home.
I’m nervous because ultimately I’ll be the one dealing with the brunt of the anxiety. I have 12 weeks maternity leave so if we give it a month, am I going to regret having that first month with my baby be so extremely stress filled? Or will I regret it more not knowing if Anipryl will do anything to alleviate his panting/anxiety?
To be honest, if my husband agreed to euthanasia tomorrow I would do it. I’ve cried so much over this. I don’t WANT to say goodbye to my boy but I also don’t want to force a decision on my husband knowing how much he hurts as well.
Dear Nat,
This is such heavy stuff and my heart aches for you. It is easy to recommend things when you’re not the one living with the stress daily. I know you don’t want to give up on your boy too soon and your husbands feelings and emotions are playing a big role in this decision-making process. With that being said, I am worried about you over the next few weeks. Bringing a baby home is the BIGGEST thing. You have to put some priority on your quality of life. The Anipryl may help, but for how long no one can know for sure. I will attach some links to other articles with more information and great comments from other readers. My best advice is to make arrangements with an in-home euthanasia vet. If you have the details figured out, then you can call whenever you decide the time is right. This way if you want to give it some time but decide in a few weeks that you need to say goodbye, it will be a smooth and peaceful process for everyone involved. I am praying so hard for you and your family. Bless you. ♥
1. Using a Quality of Life Scale for Dogs
2. Preparing for Your Dog’s Euthanasia: 10 Thoughts for Peace
3. Dog Hospice Care Can Bring Peace and Dignity to Your Dog’s Final Days
4. In-Home Dog Euthanasia: Heartfelt Answers to 12 FAQs
I am so lucky to found your article.
My Kiwi is 14y and has dimentia.
She also has several problems with her organs so she takes 6 pills twice a day. Her physical problems are under controlled though dimentia is quite severe.
She needs help to eat and drink, wanders in circles all day long, whines through the night, steps on her own pee and feces and I am not sure if she recognizes me anymore. It is so heartbreaking to see her like that.
I know that Kiwi’s QOL is extremely low. I feel like I am forcing her to live by giving her tons of pills and while I am doing that, dimentia is getting worse.
Luckily, my vet understands my situation and willing to do the procedure.
When I am taking care of her in the midnight, I tell myself ‘yes this is the time’ but when Kiwi stares at me with her big black eyes or when she sits on my lap for the first time in a while, my decision starts to wobble. Am I making this decision for me or her?
I am going back and forth literally every minute.
Hi,
I understand how difficult this decision can be. The fact that you are truly taking an honest look at Kiwi’s quality of life says this decision is not about you. You are making the most unselfish and loving choice to give your sweet pup peace and rest from her struggles. I agree that Kiwi’s mental health is poor and dealing with this every day has to be tough on both of you. I am glad you have a vet that has partnered with you to make the best choices for everyone involved. Praying for your heart to be comforted and for strength to travel this emotional journey. Bless you both.
My sweet 15 yr old Schnoodle, Sam, stopped going in his crate last year and now paces constantly, sleeps most of the time and is starting to poop in house even though he was just outside. He won’t cuddle , won’t play , doesn’t want to be picked up and totally freaks out if we try to bathe him. When he is not sleeping he just paces and goes in circles for at least an hour at a time. The he just stands staring like he doesn’t know where he is. I know he should be put down but it is breaking my heart ! We had to have our Aussie put down because of his health a couple months ago and it was awful but there was no choice then. Right now he is just standing in his water bowl. My daughter wants me to make appointment with vet next week. This is so hard!
Dear Carolyn,
My heart aches for you as you face this most difficult decision about Sam’s quality of life. It sounds like you know saying goodbye is the only way to give him peace and rest but letting go is more than you can bear. I hope your heart will find comfort knowing you did not fail him and gave him a life full of love and happiness. Praying for your strength. Bless you both.
Dr Buzby
I cried reading this article and everyone’s comments. It’s comforting to know so many dog owners are going through the same thing. Gabapentin and trazodone are no longer working for my 16 year old Shihtzu which is the only thing that helped both of us sleep at least a couple hours. You would never think anything was wrong with her. She looks and acts healthy. But she paces, stares at walls, circles and circles around trying to lay down, is disoriented and confused. It’s become overwhelming for me to watch.
The worst pet is family members not understanding how difficult it is to deal with a dog that has dementia. I’m caring for her by myself. She depends solely on me. She looks for me constantly. I’ve isolated and limit my time with friends or caring for myself because I am so focused on making sure my dog is comforted everyday.
I’m embarrassed to say anything to my vet because they know how much I do for her. They would be shocked that I pray each day for her to go to doggy heaven. I feel like I’m crying out for help and no one understands how much of a burden she is.
Dear Emily,
My heart goes out to you with this difficult situation you are in with your senior girl. Being the sole full time care giver to a dog with dementia is extremely stressful and emotional. It is hard to evaluate just how much your pup is struggling when the issues are mostly mental instead of physical. With that being said, I am a firm believer that mental disease can cause just as much suffering (if not more) as physical disease. It is not wrong for you to be considering euthanasia. It might be the most loving option at this point. Your quality of life matters too! I will attach links to other articles with more information and great comments from other readers. I hope you can find the answers you need to make the best choice for you and your sweet girl. Bless you both.
1. Using a Quality of Life Scale for Dogs
2. Preparing for Your Dog’s Euthanasia: 10 Thoughts for Peace
3. Dog Euthanasia: Knowing When to Say Goodbye
We just put our 17.5 year old Miniature Schnauzer boy down today. He has been dealing with CCD for about 2 years or so, but in last week he had progressed to point where he is lost in his backyard seemed unsure why he is out there. Gets lost coming into patio to come back in. In last month he list interest in his Kong and when a treat is dropped in front of him he can’t find it. In past week he began stumbling his back legs could not support him and he shook a lot. At this time he was not as interested in eating, choosing to sleep almost 20 hours a day. It was at this point we finally realized that he needed release from this.now he’ll on earth. While we are devastated we can rest.knowing our baby Bandit is no longer suffering. Thank you for this site, it helps to express the guilt and remorse at ending a beloved’s life.
Dear Tim,
I am so sorry you had to say goodbye to Bandit yesterday. It sounds like you made the best choice to give your sweet boy freedom from his suffering and struggles. Thank you for being willing to share your story with our readers as it might help someone else in a similar situation. I hope your heart will be comforted knowing Bandit was well loved and lived a full life. May his memory be a blessing that stays with you always.
This hits home. My pup who will turn 17yrs old on 12/8 has CCD. He is the last of our 3 dogs. We’ve had him for 17 of our 19yrs of marriage. My littles ones have never known life without him. We noticed that he was a little confused, pacing more and occasionally having accidents in the house after we lost our last pup in March of 2021. He lost his pack. Things continued to get worse. Then we did a long distance move with him early this year. He can’t get in or out of the house by himself because of the steps. But he moves around the yard fine. He does sometimes have a difficult time getting up, but always manages. He paces so much at night, even if we give him trazadone and we typically have to let him outside at least twice at night. He is having lots of accidents inside. And he is now stepping in it and tracking it through the house.
But he seems he seems happy. Loves attention and treats. Will just randomly prance if he gets excited. (not often, but occasionally)
I just don’t know. I’m exhausted from being up at night so much. the accidents in the house are a lot to manage. And I can’t figure out if I’m being selfish wondering if it is time or if I’m hanging onto my dog because I don’t want to let him go.
Dear Sarah,
My heart goes out to you and this difficult situation you are in with your senior pup. Making decisions about quality of life are so hard, especially when things just aren’t clear and there is no right or wrong answer. I will attach links to other articles with additional information and great advice from other readers. I know you want to do right by your sweet boy, but please make sure you consider your quality of life as well. I am praying for clarity and comfort for your heart. Bless you.
1. Using a Quality of Life Scale for Dogs
2. Preparing for Your Dog’s Euthanasia: 10 Thoughts for Peace
3. How Will You Know When It’s Time to Euthanize Your Dog? 5 Caring, Heartfelt Messages
Your comment really hit home about how you revolve your life around your dog! I can no long stay out past 7:30/8:00 or I know my dog will have a panic attack. She is so routine that if I don’t put her to bed by that time she gets incredibly disoriented.
I made plans for the entire summer to travel which means I have to help her cross the rainbow bridge by then. It’s hard because she’s physically great but gets stuck everywhere, paces, poops/pees all over the place when I’m at work and has just started to bark when she’s stressed.
I’m not even sure she’ll make it to summer! I quietly hope that she passes in her sleep as well. It’s so heartbreaking to see my amazing dog deteriorate. Even in this state, I love her so much!
Dear Maureen,
My heart aches for you and this difficult decision you are facing. It sounds like your senior girl is really struggling and her daily life is less than ideal. I know saying goodbye will be emotional and her loss will cause heartbreak. But what a gift to be able to offer her peace and rest. I am hopeful you will find the advice you need to make the best choice for you and your sweet girl. Praying for your strength and comfort. Bless you both.
Our 14 year old boxer had to have his spleen removed about 3 years ago in an emergency surgery. He recovered well but it did seem to take a toll on his energy level and ability to hike long distances.. Over the past year and a half he seems to have declined more but still wants to go for short walks.
In the past six months the signs of progressive mental issues seems to be getting stronger. We have had to be very careful with his diet and make him rice and ground lean ground turkey in large batches and freeze it. He had some trouble with choking even on that so we blend his meals. He eats 6 small meals a day and knows exactly when it’s time. He starts panting heavily if he doesn’t get them right on time.
He does have arthritis and his back legs drag quite a bit but especially more later in the day as he gets tired. He is on some fairly high doses of gabapentin to help with that along with controlling seizures he was occasionally having.
Right now he has sometimes, day long panting spells. He gets lost in the house and wanders and paces a lot but it’s worse in the afternoon and evening.
The one thing we could rely on was that he would go to bed and sleep through the night. That’s now changed. He gets up and circles and pants frequently during the night. It’s gotten to the point that no one is getting sleep. Finally he will dose off in the early morning and sleep.
I’ve read to about melatonin and will talk to our vet. We are so heartbroken because we know it’s getting worse.- and it seems like it’s progressing more quickly in the past few weeks.
I cared for my dad as he declined and died from dementia. I know we are going through similar things right now. It’s sad and scary. The hardest part is knowing when it’s time to say good bye and not waiting too long until he suffers. Many times I think he’s in more pain and suffering more than he lets on.
Dear Christian,
I am sorry your senior guy is declining fast and struggling with the effects of dementia. I understand how hard it is to make decisions about quality of life and when to say goodbye. My heart goes out to you as you work through these emotional choices. Praying for your strength and comfort. Bless you and your sweet boy.
I truly cannot thank this site enough! My dog, Buster, was a rescue and we think he is between 14 and 16 now…. But he isn’t himself anymore and he falls all the time. I clean up poo and pee 2 or 3 times a day. And I literally pick him up and place him in his bed so that he will just relax. I knew he had doggie dementia but I don’t think I thought I would need to put him down because of it. Now I get it.. he is not living a good life anymore. I’m now seeing that but wow am I going to miss my buddy. This sucks. Thank you
Dear Rachel,
I am sorry you are facing this difficult decision for Buster. I know trying to decide when to say goodbye is very difficult and emotional. I am glad the article was helpful and gave you some insight and comfort. My heart goes out to you as you spend these last days with your sweet boy. Bless you both.
My sweet Pinky is 16.5 years old. He’s a toy poodle mix. I noticed his decline last year in the fall 2021. He was drinking more water and was more interested in food which was a surprise to me. But his hind legs were very weak. I noticed he lost interest in playing or going out. He slowly lost his vision and hearing around 2020, so he no longer paid attention to anyone that came home. He doesn’t bark anymore either. He was soiling himself in bed and all over the house, peeing and pooping inside multiple times a day. My worries increased when i noticed he lost 2-3lbs between December 2021 and April 2022 which was a lot since he was only 13 pounds and he was eating more than he did as an adult. I took him to his vet but they never found anything significant. By this time, his dementia got worse. he was going in constant circles, bumping into things, getting “stuck” in corners, he doesn’t get excited when he smells my parents or myself. His hind legs were getting worse and i noticed he was losing balance and dragging his back legs sometimes. I took him to the vet in July 2022 and they said he had a neurological issue and it was only going to get worse. Since July, I have been struggling to come with terms with saying goodbye, but i’ve noticed an increase in struggle with walking, defecating or getting into bed alone. I wonder if i have more time with him, but like the article states, he is not the puppy he used to be and is just existing at this point, it’s not fair to him. My family and i made the difficult decision to put him down in two days, and I don’t think I’ve ever experienced so much pain. he has been with me since i was 8 y/o but i know he’ll be at rest which is a comfort. Thank you for opening up this discussion.
Dear Karina,
I am sorry your senior guy’s health is declining so rapidly and he is struggling. From what you described, saying goodbye sounds like the most loving option and the only way to give him peace and rest. My heart goes out to you as you spend these last days with Pinky. I hope his transition will be smooth and peaceful. Praying for your strength and comfort. Bless you both.
Your story is exactly as if I had told one of me and my dog, 16yr old Yorkie, Hustler. Pretty much the same medical complications, same timeline. We are saying our final earthly goodbyes to him tomorrow. I have been second guessing whether I’m making the right decision, but then I’m reminded that his condition is chronic and will just get worse, and so I take comfort in the fact that I can help him stop the suffering and reach that eternal peace, despite how difficult the thought of saying goodbye will be. The strong similarities to your story reaffirms this.
Sending my love, thoughts, and prayers to you, your family, and especially your beloved Pinky. it sounds like you have provided him a wonderful long life, and you should be proud of that. I am sure Pinky is so proud of you and thankful that you were his human all these years.
Thank you all for sharing your stories, bringing comfort, reassurance, and support during such a difficult time.
Dear Janice,
My heart aches for you as you find a way to continue on without Hustler. I hope his passing was peaceful and he was comforted by your presence. I have no doubt he knew how much he was loved. May his memory be a blessing that stays with you forever. ♥
My 15 yo puggle has dementia, is deaf, and has recently started having seizures. He also was diagnosed with EPI two years ago. Before this, he was the epitome of health and was the most loving dog. Now he is almost feral. All he does is bark incessantly at us, pants non-stop, is incontinent, and does not want to be touched, yet, follows me everywhere I go. His seizures have increased and we can no longer leave him in the house alone. We’ve come home to poo and pee and blood all over the house because he’s had a seizure, has defecated, then has spent the post-ictal phase stepping in his poo and pacing all over the house for 3 hours. We are at our wits end. If we crate him while we’re gone, he barks incessantly. But if we let him have the run of the house we risk him having a seizure and messing up the whole house. We can’t train or re-train him because of his dementia. I got pee pads but I can’t train him to use them because he never had them in the past and he can’t learn how to use them now. So instead, he just goes on our rugs and our place smells like a kennel now. The sad part is that physically he is fine. He can still go on a 45 minute walk no problem, he’s eating fine and other than his mental capacity and seizures, he’s in good condition. I feel like we can’t put him down yet because physically he’s still fine, but I’m not sure how much longer we can deal with his mental decline. I wish we didn’t have to work and could just be with him 24/7 but we can’t and he is really impeding our life now. This is such a horrible way for him to go. Our last dog had a massive stroke and never woke up so we knew it was time for him to go, but it’s so much harder to decided for our current dog. I wish he would just die in his sleep and make the decision for us. I love him more than anything but this is killing us. 🙁
Dear Sharon,
I am so sorry your boy is suffering from mental decline. You mentioned that he is physically healthy and that makes considering euthanasia difficult. I understand, but also think the severity of suffering from mental disease is just as bad, if not worse, than the suffering caused by physical disease. I am not sure his quality of life is very good with the daily accidents, seizures, anxiety, and confusion. Not to mention your quality of life matters too and I have no doubt your sweet boy can tell you are stressed and frustrated. Here is a link to another article with great information and links to additional articles that offer good advice: Using a Quality of Life Scale for Dogs
I hope you can find the answers you need to make the best decision for you and your pup. It is hard to think that sometimes saying goodbye can be the most loving choice and the only way to offer a beloved dog peace and rest. Praying for clarity and strength to face each day. Bless you both.
My elderly Jack who is now at least 16 years of age but may be a few years older since he was adopted as a stray started experiencing pain in his neck and torso up to two years ago then when he started having seizures over a year ago he was diagnosed with a brain tumor which was under control with anti-seizure medication and steroids but it was a very tough journey all along as he was stressed out much of the time as described in this article and now it has reached the point where he doesnt even appear self-aware.
The vet finally told me last week I had to start thinking about letting him go and a second vet said the same thing this morning.
I know it is best for him to let him go with euthanasia but I just hate the finality of it all. I know that dogs are bonded with their owners and have dreams and memories but live in the moment so he is ready to go but harder for me.. This article helped me to realize that letting him go is the right thing to do for both of us.
Dear Tony,
I am so sorry Jack’s physical and mental health is declining. From what you are describing, it does sound like he is nearing the end of his days and saying goodbye may be the most loving option. I am glad the article was helpful in making such a difficult decision. I hope you can make the most of the time you have left together. Praying for comfort and clarity as you go through this emotional process. Bless you both.
My 14/15 yr old rescue pup was diagnosed a few months ago with canine dementia, which explained a lot of ongoing behavior. I realized that it explained her evening anxiety and wish to go outside again and again for hours, until seeming to drop of to sleep from tiredness that started noticing last Fall. She would seem to not be able to quite get onto a dog bed, with her rear hanging off, again and again. She’d started getting herself stuck in a pantry, walking in to the back and just standing there. Or taking a hard route by a rocking chair and ending up stuck in the back side of it. She hasn’t seemed to be able to hear for at least a couple of years (was glad she knew some hand signals), plus, has had a deteriorating back leg issue from having a chipped bone removed from her “ankle” years ago…had returned to hiking and dog agility post surgery but over the years increased issues have reduced her mobility, and she’s been on anti-inflammation meds and pain meds for some time. Thought her increasing balance issues were related to that. She was requiring encouragement multiple times a day to eat, but would then gobble up a bowl of food. So started her on selegiline a few months ago, and for awhile she got back to eating meals 2xday. But slowly she’s been declining,and now is not eating properly, just some bits and pieces throughout the day. She is both more anxious and seems more tired. The panting is heart breaking. She has sometimes pooped inside the house for some time now.. But now she hasn’t gone in over 24 hrs, and I have finally got it together to make an appointment tomorrow afternoon to bring her peace. She’s apparently a cattle dog mix (some suggestion she might have some keltie in her but not tested). Her smartness and quick learning of returning a ball when I first brought her home 12 hrs ago got me into dog agility for the first time, and she’s been a perfect 1st dog to do that. And did well until the leg issue began to be more obvious. She’s been the best ever hiking partner as well, and while not exactly liking to ride in a car, was always eager to go wherever I was going so would join me. I’m heartbroken, and indeed find the progression of this disease so difficult to decide what’s best for her. Reading both postings and responses has reminded me how little quality of life she has. A friend asked awhile back does she wag her tail, and I hardly ever see that (except maybe leading her outside, bummed she’s not strong enough to take a walk), but her tail is pretty much tucked in. This is tough.
Dear Mary,
My heart aches for you as you face this most difficult decision for your sweet girl. From what you describe, it does sound like saying goodbye may be the most loving option. What a blessing you two were brought into each other’s lives 12 years ago. When the time comes, I hope your pup’s transition is smooth and peaceful. I have no doubt she knows how much you love her. May her memory stay with you for the rest of your life. Bless you both. ♥
Hi there.
I have a 10 yr old Pug named Bella. She has just recently started soiling in the house but it’s as if she doesn’t realize she’s doing it until she’s already done it and then she gets upset. The vet has ruled out any health conditions or incontinence and has said it is most likely dementia. I don’t know what to do. Besides that she is “like a puppy”. Is it possible for her to have dementia without any of the other “symptoms”? I’m at a loss. I don’t know if she’s suffering or if she’s going to get worse.
Hi Melissa,
I am sorry Bella is struggling with these new urinary accidents. Since I haven’t examined her myself, it is hard to make specific conclusions. With that being said, a regression in house training can be one of the first symptoms of dementia. Due to Bella’s age and overall good physical health, dementia/canine cognitive dysfunction (CCD) is high on the list of possible causes. I will attach links to other articles that may offer additional information. It doesn’t sound like your sweet girl is suffering but if she does have CCD, then this will progress and eventually cause a mental decline. There are supplements and treatments that can slow the progression and help maintain your pup’s quality of life. You may even want to talk to a holistic or integrative vet to see if they have ideas of ways treat Bella that may not be common in general practice. I hope you can find the right combination of things to keep your sweet girl happy and living her best life. Best wishes to you both!
1. Could Your Dog Have Dementia? Find Out With This Canine Cognitive Dysfunction Checklist
2. Canine Cognitive Dysfunction in Dogs: Signs, Symptoms, Solutions
3. Selegiline for Dogs: A Helpful Medication for Canine Cognitive Dysfunction
Seanie is approximately 11/12 years old. He is a maltipoo mix & very special, I mean, aren’t they all? He was rescued from a horrible puppy mill situation. He was so matted when he was rescued, they believe he has nerve damage to his skin. He came to me about 6 months after that rescue back in 2014, as a last resort because I took another dog from that rescue & he really blossomed. He’s not a dog that has ever been cuddly, his “best life” doesn’t look like my other 4 dogs. His best life is playing with his fur brothers & sisters & going on walks, laying out in the grass just smiling away under the sunshine. He will let me groom him & put on his harness for walking, but he doesn’t like to be touched, he never has, I don’t think he ever got that love & socialization early on (they believe he was 2-3 when rescued). Several months ago he started crawling on my lap, unexpectedly. Still not wanting to be petted, just wanting to be on me. Then he started waking up numerous times each night. He does have very arthritic knees & initially I thought maybe it was the pain, but he has been diagnosed with CCD. Because his life doesn’t look like a “normal” dog, I am really struggling. At this point, he follows me everywhere, and is very confused & doesn’t know what to do if I try to walk by him in the entry way of a door, since he doesn’t like to be touched, it’s very hard for me to comfort him. My vet prescribed gabapentin and it does help him sleep at night, most nights & I watch him on the cameras during the day. I feel like the time may be coming because his quality of life has definitely diminished, but it is really hard with him.
Dear Michelle,
My heart goes out to you as you try to make these difficult decisions about Seanie’s quality of life. He is a very lucky pup to have found you so many years ago. Bless you for being willing to give him the second chance at a loving home which he deserved. CCD is such a tough disease. It is hard to evaluate suffering from mental issues when the physical body is still functioning well. I honestly believe there is no wrong answer in this case. If you wanted to give him some more time, that would be ok. And if you decided it was best to say goodbye, Seanie would gain the peace and rest he has earned after a lifetime of loyalty and devotion. I hope you can find the answers and advice you need to make the best decision for you both. Praying for comfort and clarity.
Thank you. We’ve got a combination of meds that has been helping the last few weeks but I think it’s getting closer to time. He’s pacing more during the day & just seems unable to settle. I really don’t want him to suffer any more than he has already in his life. This blog is great, informative & very helpful, especially
for such a sad subject.
Hi Michelle,
Thank you for the update. I am glad Seanie has had some improvement for a couple weeks. It sounds like he may be near the end of his days and that is tough to make peace with. Here is a link to a newer article that may offer additional information and advice for your situation: Using a Quality of Life Scale for Dogs
My heart goes out to you as you face some difficult decisions ahead. Praying for your strength and comfort for your heart. ♥
Hello Julie first of all I want to thank you for responding to every comment on here you are a blessing from God in times when people are suffering from lost . My guy sparky mixed dog which I found abandoned in a parking lot is a about 16 to 18 years old. He now is loosing a lot of muscle and looks lethargic. although he eats like a lot and drinks a lot constantly I am confused if it’s cushions disease or Dementia or both. he sleeps at night a out 6 hours but if he wakes up before I do he pees in his bed. he pees a lot. I leave for work and soils the living room a out 3 times a day.he is blind and walks in circles nonstop . the only way he stops the circles is if I pick him up or get in his way. he poops solid but never wags his tail for the last 2 years. he doesn’t interact with other dogs and I don’t think he knows who I am. I feel like he’s not in pain because his good appetite but I feel guilty that his main activity is the walking In circles and bumping his head against the wall or going to the corners of the house and just staring at the wall. QOL I am realizing it’s not good. my vet just said he’s old but I feel like sparky is just roaming earth with no purpose. I am very confused about my decision . thank you for having this site to comment on
Dear James,
I am sorry you are in such a difficult situation with Sparky. I can only imagine how difficult it must be to watch his mental state slowly decline. What you describe definitely sounds like dementia/cognitive dysfunction, but there is a possibility he could have Cushing’s as well. I agree that Sparky’s quality of life sounds poor. Just because he is still physically functioning doesn’t mean is he isn’t suffering from his mental disease. I will attach links to other articles with more information on how to tell when it is time to say goodbye. I am hopeful you will find the answers and advice you need to make the best decision for you and your sweet boy. Praying for your strength and comfort. Bless you both.
1. Using a Quality of Life Scale for Dogs
2. Preparing for Your Dog’s Euthanasia: 10 Thoughts for Peace
3. How Will You Know When It’s Time to Euthanize Your Dog? 5 Caring, Heartfelt Messages
Hi! Our 18 year old mini poodle, DiDI has arthritis, and all the signs of mental CCD. That you mentioned. She has been one of the smartest poodles we have ever had. She eats very much and drinks very much. She use to sleep much – but now wakes up many times during the night. We recently started putting her in our patio in the day – and of course we have to rescue her from corners. Now it seems she wants to go out more. We think maybe she is trying to strengthen herself to be better. My daughter and I feel you do not put down a person with dementia unless they specify certain guidelines. Of course, we both have said we, like many, would not to like to live like that. However, our little DiDI can’t talk to us – so we do not know if she is trying to live for us. She still wants to be with us now all day and night if possible. She barks and whines day and night continuously when she thinks she wants something. Your article has helped us much and we thank you. We were wondering if we should ask the doctor for some type of drug to calm her -before attempting to put her down.. What would your opinion be?
Thank you so much..
Hi Kay,
I am sorry DiDl is struggling with symptoms of cognitive dysfunction. I am glad you are reaching out for information and advocating for her health and wellbeing. It is definitely worth having a conversation with your vet about treatment options. Even if your girl is nearing the end of her life, you may be able to give her a bit more quality time with the use of anxiety medications or supplements. Your vet can let you know if DiDl is a good candidate to try other therapies or if saying goodbye is the most loving option at this point. Be honest about your wishes and expectations. Also, it might be a good idea to reach out to a vet that makes house calls that can offer hospice/palliative care and, when the time is right, provide in home euthanasia services. I hope you find the answers you need to make the best decision for you and your sweet girl. Praying for strength in decision making and comfort for your heart.
Hi.
I have a 12.5yr old male Collie. Up until a few months ago he’d never had any health problems, We noticed back in May his sight was worse (something which declined slowly over three years) and he seemed to have suddenly developed ‘selective hearing’, only coming to us if we shouted loudly. August 5th we took him to the vet as my daughter thought he might have ear wax. A thorough check up was done and he was diagnosed with: dementia, stage 4 kidney disease, severe heart disease, 98% blindness and total deafness. Over the past two weeks he has taken to yipping loudly every few seconds, barking at thin air, endless pacing, walking around in circles, standing still, lying down for 5-10 minutes then getting up to pace or walk in circles again. He stands with his head down behind the door, and won’t come through any doorway without someone standing next to him. He stands in the open doorway pawing at nothing, as if he’s forgotten what to do, or something invisible is blocking his path.
He’s gone off his favourite food but will eat a small bowl of Royal Canin meat. (British). He has no interest in doing anything he loved even a few months back, and looks completely confused. He’s not eating properly but has put on weight, and he is drinking without any problems.
I’ve been told by family, friends and neighbours to put him down, but for all his problems he still seems, on occassion, to be interested in things.
I want to do the best for him but I can’t help feeling that walking him to the vets to be put down is like taking him to be executed.
Dear Martha,
I understand how difficult this decision can be. Deciding when to “let go” is very emotional and is different for every dog and owner. From what you describe it does sound like your senior boy is struggling and the good days are few and far between. Saying goodbye may be the most loving and unselfish decision you can make at this point. Try not to think of it as taking him to be executed. Instead, you are rewarding him for a lifetime of devotion by offering him the peace, rest, and relief from suffering that he so deserves. It is always better to let go one day too early rather than one day too late and allow unnecessary suffering and pain. This is a gift you can give your sweet boy. And there’s no better way to have him pass than with the ones he loves the most there by his side offering comfort and love. I hope you can find the answers you need to make the best decision for you and your pup. I will attach some links to other articles with additional information and great comments from other readers. Praying for strength and clarity in this tough situation. Bless you both.
1. Preparing for Your Dog’s Euthanasia: 10 Thoughts for Peace
2. Dog Kidney Failure: When to Euthanize Your Dear Dog
e. Signs Your Dog is Dying: A Caring Message to Bring You Peace
This is such a hard subject to deal with. I have a 17 year old female jack russell terrier that I have had all of her life. Last year I put down another jack who was very sick. Madison, my 17 year old, is no longer the spunky jack she used to be. She has lost a lot of weight. I can feel her bones. She cannot go up and down the stairs. I carry her from one level to the next in my house. She sleeps most of the day. She will go outside to pee and poop when I can catch her at the door. Pooping sometimes can be hard on her as she has arthritis as well. I give her pumpkin and stool softener to make it easier on her. Her appetite is not what it used to be. I try to find things that she likes. I am afraid to leave her in the care of others so I have not been on vacation in quite a while. When she goes outside it is clear she seems lost. She will just stand there for minutes at a time, not moving, Then she will make her way back to the door and come in. She doesn’t play at all any more. In the house she gets lost and stands in place for a while as well. Sometimes while she is sleeping I can see her body shaking like she is shivering. At night she gets up several times and just wanders around, I find myself getting up as well to let her out, Then I let her back in and allow her to wander around until she goes back to sleep. Getting up throughout the night has definitely taken a toll on me. I find that I am tired all the time. I am also dealing with back trouble and wonder if caring for her is contributing to my issues. I love her so much and am having a hard time thinking about putting her down. I like others that have dogs they love wish she would transition on her own. I am at a loss about the right thing to do. I don’t want to give up on her because I love her. I have a vet appointment coming up and wonder what they are going to tell me.
Dear Karen,
I understand the heartache that comes with making this most difficult decision for a beloved dog. I know you would rather her transition on her own, so the decision is out of your hands. Please know that for most dogs, a natural death is not pretty or peaceful. It can be very disturbing to watch and leave you with memories you’d rather not have. Even though choosing to say goodbye is hard, it is a loving and unselfish act. It allows you to offer your sweet girl peace and rest from her struggles. I always think it is better to say goodbye one day too early rather than one day too late and allow unnecessary suffering. I am glad you have an appointment to talk to your vet about your pup’s quality of life. I will attach some links to other articles with additional information. I hope you find the answers and advice you need to make the best decision for you and your senior girl. Bless you both.
1. Preparing for Your Dog’s Euthanasia: 10 Thoughts for Peace
2. Signs Your Dog is Dying: A Caring Message to Bring You Peace
3. Grieving the Loss of a Dog After Euthanasia (& Finding Peace)
Hello thank you for your article.
I am struggling with my sweet almost 15 year old mix breed rescue Luna. She has had what they think were mini strokes in the past few years. We thought she was gone multiple times. She has cataracts and dementia and she stares off into space for a while and pacing multiple times of day. She follows me around from room to room staying as close as she can to me. She also has periodontal disease and now has a severe infection swelling up on one side of her face. She quit eating and drinking for 3 days so I took her into the vet a couple of weeks ago. They gave her pain killer for her pain and a nausea medicine. She did began eating and drinking small amounts but swelling was still there. I called to get her a round of antibiotics as she had an infection last year too and a round of antibiotics worked to get rid of it. Her antibiotics aren’t working this time and she is even bleeding from her mouth. She also was diagnosed with a faint heart murmer so they are recommending to send her to a dog cardiologist before attempting a teeth cleaning and extractions. We are not sure she will even make it through anethesia surgery at this point. My husband said we cannot spend the money given her health decline on a heart cardiologist, teeth cleaning and extractions which they said would be minimum of $1400. I do agree that’s a lot of money for us but I feel terrible and guilty every time I look at her. Do I try another round of antibiotics at this point? Is there another way to fix her teeth without anesthesia? Are we monsters not to spend so much money to try and extend her life even a few months at this point. I have given her pain killer to help her discomfort. She does seem happy to see me from time to time and wags her tail and other times she seems lost and confused. Help!
Dear RB,
I can hear the concern and emotions in your words. It does sound like Luna is struggling and I suspect painful from the dental issue. With dental infections and abscesses, there really is no way to completely resolve the problem without a cleaning and extractions which always requires general anesthesia. At some point, the bacteria causing the infection will become resistant to the antibiotics that are being used and they will no longer respond to treatment. I am suspicious you may have already reached that point. It does not make you a bad person to have financial limits. I too have chosen hospice or palliative care for my own dogs rather than pursue expensive testing and treatments. Also, when they are suffering and have a poor quality of life, it is ok to say goodbye. Sometimes letting go is the most loving and unselfish choice we can make. It is never wrong to give your beloved pup peace and rest. I hope you can find the answers you need to make the decision that is best for you and Luna. I will leave some links to other articles with more advice and great comments from other readers. Praying for strength and clarity. ♥
1. Dog Hospice Care Can Bring Peace and Dignity to Your Dog’s Final Days
2. Preparing for Your Dog’s Euthanasia: 10 Thoughts for Peace
3. How Will You Know When It’s Time to Euthanize Your Dog? 5 Caring, Heartfelt Messages
Thank you for this article. My Sadie is a rescue dog. She is mostly Dachshund and we think about 12 years old. Sadie has always had separation anxiety and, literally has destroyed about eight metal crates by bending the black metal wires with her teeth until she could escape. Over the last 2-3 years she still doesn’t like it when we leave, but had not been destroying any of her crates. The last 1-2 months she has been displaying extreme anxiety. Thunder was never an issue and now it terrifies her. We put her to bed at night, along with our other dogs, all who sleep in our bedroom, and she barks and “talks” mixed with the barking and refuses to stop. When she does, I can here her kicking herself constantly. She has also started to pee, and sometimes poop, in the hallway outside the bathroom 5 or more times a week. She also sneaks into my closet and pees in there as well. The biggest concern is that twice this week she almost died, and lost teeth, by bending, breaking the metal and getting her head stuck. We got home just in time, both times, and had to use a bolt cutter to release her. It scared us like crazy. Both times she lost teeth and completely cut off a mole between her eyes and there was blood everywhere. I am retired and my kids are here almost all of the time. We are not gone long periods of time. The other two dogs are on both sides of her so she is not totally alone. I have never seen this level of anxiety in her before. She is drinking and eating just fine. She is taken out often throughout the day and at night just before bedtime. She hasn’t really shown any signs of aggression, but does not have patience like she did before with our young grandchildren. Do you think she is starting with doggy dementia? The intense anxiety where she is physically putting herself in harms way and, in the cases this week, almost died is our biggest concern. We purchased some calming chews and a Thundershirt today in hopes this will help, but am afraid they won’t work as intense her anxiety is. I am praying we aren’t getting to the point where we have to make some difficult decisions. Thank you so much!
Hi Kari,
My goodness that is quite a lot to deal with. I am so sorry Sadie is struggling with such severe anxiety. Since I have not personally examined her myself, it is hard to make specific conclusions about the cause of these new behavioral issues. Dementia could be playing a role, but it also would be a good idea to rule out other causes. I highly recommend you have her examined by your vet and allow them to do some lab work and diagnostic testing. If her results are normal, then dementia/cognitive dysfunction may be your answer. With the level of stress your pup is displaying, it might be a good idea to ask your vet about anxiety medications. I love Thundershirts and calming chews but agree they may not be enough for your sweet girl. Please know that anxiety like this is debilitating for your dog and you are right to be thinking about her quality of life. I hope with the help of your vet, you can find the right treatment to give Sadie some peace and comfort. Praying for resolution for this difficult situation and that you can avoid making hard decisions about saying goodbye for the foreseeable future. Bless you both. ♥
Oh my gosh this washed away my feelings of guilt.
My dog had been to a kennel last week and I think he caught kennel cough, but it was tough on his old bones. He was wobbling all over the place, peeing, coughing, throwing up, and needed to be carried up the stairs. To be really honest I think he probably may have recovered from it. The thing is, he had been battling severe anxiety and dementia for over a year. He was on so many meds and was starting to build a resistance to them – he had not been my boy for a long time and I secretly always felt guilty because it felt like it affected my love for him. He was such a handful at times. But the joy was gone from his eyes. He was indifferent, even towards me. I always kind of felt like he was mad at me because our relationship had changed. When he was not passed out because of the meds, he was anxious ridden and would not be comforted.
That day he fought all the needles and the sedative. They gave me a few minutes with him but there was no comfort in that because he was high out of his mind. So I really just feel like I betrayed him.
Seeing his body wrapped up in the blanket was too much… squeezing his paws and not getting a reaction. I wanted to pet his soft ears and his soft little head cause I know I never will again .
He is so integrated into my thought life that I was saving my pizza crust to give to him before I remembered.. And I will sometimes automatically grab for his leash before I leave in the morning.
Dear Carla,
I am sorry you had to say goodbye to your senior boy, but it sounds like you made the decision from a place of love. Dementia and anxiety can be so cruel and cause more suffering than we sometimes realize. I do think that letting go can be the most unselfish choice in these situations. I have no doubt your pup knew how much he was loved. I am glad you were able to be there with him during his last moments. Try not to let the grief steal the joy from his memory. May the thoughts of all the happy times you shared be a comfort and a blessing as you continue life’s journey.
This article has really help me and you have said some words that I wish my vet would have said to me. My 13 year old Chihuahua mix has a grade 5 out of 6 heart murmur, heart disease and potentially some dementia. I’ve been struggling on making the decision of whether I should euthanize her or not. All her life, she has struggled with anxiety, so putting her in a kennel at night is out of the question. Since September 2021, she has started going to the bathroom in our house at night. It has gotten worse in the last month even though she has 24/7 access to outside. We have small children in the home so my fear is that I will miss some urine or feces and my kids will get into it. My vet prescribed her Trazadone but it doesn’t seem to help her sleep. She had blood work done and everything came back perfect, which makes the euthanasia decision harder because other than soiling in the house, she appears to be perfectly healthy. There are days where she won’t eat, but then other days where we have no problem eating. I feel like I’m being selfish in thinking of euthanasia, but I just don’t know if she has a great quality of life now and I feel selfish with considering my quality of life of having to lay 20 or more puppy pads down each night in hopes that she chooses to use them. I’m just so lost in this decision.
Dear Kati,
My heart aches for you and this difficult situation you are in with your Chihuahua girl. You are not alone. I see comments like yours every week and the thing I want you to know is it is ok to say goodbye. It is incredibly difficult to evaluate quality of life when most of the issues are mental instead of physical. But I do believe these mental struggles of senior dogs with dementia cause suffering. Choosing to let go doesn’t make you a bad pet mom and might be the most loving and unselfish decision you can make at this point. Your quality of life matters too! I will attach links to other articles with more information and great comments from other readers. I hope you can find the advice you need to make the best choice for you and your little pup. Prayers for comfort and peace. Bless you both.
1. Preparing for Your Dog’s Euthanasia: 10 Thoughts for Peace
2. Dog Euthanasia: Knowing When to Say Goodbye
3. How Will You Know When It’s Time to Euthanize Your Dog? 5 Caring, Heartfelt Messages
This is the second article from your site that has been so helpful. We are battling physical ailments (severe arthritis and loss of back leg function) and were finally were able to get her pain managed at least. Now the cognitive issues our vet mentioned several months back that could also be contributing to certain behaviors have become a primary concern. Constant pacing, clinginess, potty accidents, lack of spatial awareness and worst of all her not being able to rest at all at night are the main issues. She basically sleeps a few hours each night if that. It has been brutal and I feel like a selfish person for even considering that it may be time to consider euthanasia. My husband and I just keep kicking this can down the road because we do not want to make this decision. We just keep thinking she’s only 13 and seems too young for this and maybe things will get better but she is not improving. The visible physical issues she is having coupled with the cognitive deficits are heartbreaking. Your article really helped give me some perspective around this situation. Even though she is seemingly “happy” with all the issues she has, is it fair to keep her in this state indefinitely? The struggle is real for loving and caring dog parents!!! Thank you for offering resources to help us through this impossible time!
Dear Reida,
I am glad you are finding the articles to be helpful and informative. My heart goes out to you with this most difficult decision you are facing. It is hard to adequately evaluate the quality of life of a dog when most of their issues are mental instead of physical. It sounds like your girl is struggling daily even though she still has happy times. I always think it is better to let go one day too early rather than one day too late and allow them to suffer needlessly. The timing of saying goodbye is different for everyone and every dog. I hope you will find the strength and clarity needed to make the best choice for you and your sweet girl. Bless you both. ♥
Crying as I am reading these comments. My sweet rescue is 15. My only trusted vet dr retired. He always told me when to let go knowing we couldn’t. I took max when I knew he had enough the new vet said let’s give him more time and meds now we are seeing him suffer my old vet loved and would have never let him suffer. My heart is breaking 💔
Dear Heartbroken,
I am sorry your pup’s health is declining and he is nearing the end of his life. I have no doubt that your vet recommended the medication as a way to try to make your dog comfortable and give you more quality time with him. No veterinarian would intentionally withhold euthanasia just to see a pet suffer needlessly. Please make sure your vet is aware that your boy is struggling despite the medications and let them know you are ready to say goodbye. I hope Max will find the peace and rest he so deserves. Praying for comfort for your heart. ♥
Thank you for this article. I am in the process of beating myself up on making this decision and wavering back and forth is it time or not. My Joe has no quality of life I now realize. He has been asleep for nearly 13 hours. My classy rescued boy deserves to go out with self esteem intact. We have tried everything to help him and it is now time to let him go peacefully and on his terms. CCD is as evil as human Alzheimer disease, but I would adopt this guy all over again. His calmness helped many a rescued pup learn how to be a happy dog. I know he will send another pup who needs us, just as he so desperately needed us.
Dear Donna,
I know how hard this must be. Despite the emotions involved, it sounds like you are making the most unselfish and loving decision for Joe. You are right, CCD can be so cruel. What a blessing to have shared part of your life with such an amazing pup. I pray for your strength and comfort during this most difficult time. May the memories of all the good times with Joe be a blessing.
This is article was very helpful. We have a fox terrier we rescued about 8 years ago and we believe he is around 16 now. They were not sure of his age when we rescued him. His dementia started with just pacing at night but now it’s much worse. He’s up most nights pacing the house. He also has accidents in the house multiple times a day, gets stuck in corners or behind doors, will walk in circles until you pick him up or pet him, will whine and bark at night. We have to pick him up to take him outside and bring him back in because he can’t find his way back inside on his own anymore. He used to love being outside running around the yard and going for walks but now will just stand outside until you pick him up to bring him back in. Our vet has him on gabapentin and Trazadone at night to help him sleep but sometimes it doesn’t help him at all. I can’t remember the last time I slept through the night and can’t leave the house for more than a few hours at a time because I worry so much about him at home. I don’t want to put him to sleep just because it’s hard on me though. It’s been so hard for me to make the decision to put him to sleep and I just want someone to tell me that it is time. He’s been my shadow for the past 8 years and I can’t imagine not having him around but it’s just so hard deciding whether it is time or not.
Dear Courtney,
I understand how difficult and heartbreaking this decision can be. Let me be the one to tell you that its ok to let go. It sounds like he is struggling daily and suffering from dementia and anxiety. These issues can dramatically decrease his quality of life and would be a good reason to offer him peace and rest instead. Also, your quality of life matters too! I can only imagine how difficult these last months have been on you and your family. Praying for strength during this tough time and for clarity with your decisions. Bless you both.
Wow, reading your answers to these comments made me feel validated. Our corgi will be 12 at the end of the year but his health has been declining over the last year. He has at least one accident every day in the house and diapers helped for a little while until he learned how to shimmy his way out of them. We’ve had to rip out the carpets and put in wood flooring but it still smells like urine to me everytime I walk in.. He’s recently started following me everywhere and panting. He’ll be sleeping during the day and jump up all of a sudden and be terrified. Tonight he drew blood head butting the baby gate we keep him corralled in downstairs. We recently tried a crate but he bent the wiring and the crate was on the other side of the room the next morning. Both of our dogs sleep downstairs and I really do think he spends the entire night filled with anxiety. He seems so exhausted during the day and has started sleeping in weird places. We have 2 small children and it feels like we have 3 at this point. I feel like I don’t have the bandwidth to deal with the kids all day and then with him. It is causing a huge rift in my marriage as well…I don’t know what to do. We’ve spent so much money at this point getting tests done on him/trying to find ways to live with this. I don’t know what to do.
Dear Lynn,
I can hear the emotions and struggle in your words. It sounds like you know what you need to do but are maybe feeling guilty for even entertaining the thought. Let me be the one to tell you that it is ok to consider euthanasia for your Corgi boy. Please don’t feel guilt over wanting better for your family and your pup. Your senior guy is declining, and the lack of sleep and nighttime anxiety must weigh so heavily on him and you. Your quality of life matters too! And sometimes when the caregiving is especially hard and draining it can cause resentment toward your beloved dog. This isn’t fair for either one of you. Even though saying goodbye will be heartbreaking, it may be the most loving and unselfish decision you can make at this point. After a lifetime of devotion and dedication, you can give your boy peace and rest. I hope you can find the answers you need to make the best decision for everyone involved. Here is a link to another article with additional information and good comments from other readers: Preparing for Your Dog’s Euthanasia: 10 Thoughts for Peace
Praying for strength and clarity. Bless you both. ♥
I have five dogs three of which are elderly one is almost twenty years old and the other two are both 19 years old and all of them are Jack Russell mixes which explains why they have lived such long lives.
One was diagnosed with a brain tumor and is on anti-seizure medication and prednisone and we initially thought it was cancer now we know it is a non-cancerous brain tumor and it has been over a year of cleaning up after him with dirty diapers waking up in middle of night and constant stress and exhaustion with collateral damage to our home. Yet he still eats all his meals is wagging his tail and going on walks. He isnt ready to go.
Then another one that is half Jack and half pit bull has turned extremely aggressive snapping at me when I try taking off his harness or lifting him up stairs and now I have to leave him in doggy day care where they isolate him in his own room and I have to take him in and out of the room and he wont even let me take off his harness. The vet doesnt have him on any meds. I am close to deciding to humanely euthanize him since it isnt safe for me or my family or the staff at doggy day care and I cant leave him alone at home all day he will bark in the apartment and ruin the floors and will be miserable. I dont feel safe having a dog walker handle him either.
It is so heartbreaking since he is 18 years old but otherwise in decent shape he is just too aggressive to handle.
Dear Tony,
I think you are making a wise choice to consider euthanasia for your senior guy. Anytime aggression becomes an issue I feel it is an appropriate option. I am sure your previously sweet boy doesn’t enjoy feeling this way either. It must be hard to have most people avoid him or have to leave him isolated so much of the time. It might be worth having a conversation with your vet to see if there is a mediation you could try. If that does not help, then letting to may be the most loving choice and only way to give him peace and rest. I am so sorry you are facing this difficult decision. Bless you both.
I am unsure if my Chihuahua is suffering from Dimentia. She’s lived a hard 16 years. I remember when I was probably only 12 she was hit by a car when we left her with a family member while on vacation. I’m 24 years old now and she has been in our family for what feels like forever. I don’t remember life before her. But now her behavior worries me. It can’t have been more than a year and a half ago that when I would be home from school she’d want to sleep in my bed every night. Every morning we’d play in the front yard, and against my parents’ will I’d read or watch tv on the couch with her when they weren’t around. Now it seems like she has no interest in any of it. She can’t tolerate being held, she’ll put up with being on the couch for at most 2 minutes, and overall seems indifferent to attention. She will nuzzle into me if I hold her but only very briefly. This behavior can’t have been here for more than 8 months. But she hasn’t slept with me in years so I find it hard to tell if it’s gradually aging, or something worse. For the past couple months she’s been sleeping all day, and as I write this at 12:50 A.M. she is frequently getting up from her bed, taking a few paces, and returning to it. She oftens seems to wander aimlessly. She also suffers from arthritis in her back legs which she takes Carprofen for, and is blind as a bat. She still loves to eat her food, but when I try to take her out into the hard she stands there still and occasionally rubs her head in the grass where she used to be so active. I am so unsure as to what the quality of her life is like. We recently took her to the vet because she has fluid in her lungs caused by a heart murmur, but he basically just said if she’s eating and drinking she’s fine. I’m unsure… And getting her to the vet took me reminding my mother to take her countless times. Being a student I’m not the most affluent, so I rely on my family for her treatment. But I also seem to be the only one who truly cares. I just don’t know if I worry too much, if there is something wrong, if there’s anything that can be done. I just don’t want her to suffer.
Dear Richard,
Your senior girl is lucky to have you in her life. You are being a wonderful advocate for her health and wellbeing. From what you are describing, it does sound like she is struggling, and that euthanasia may be the most loving option. Sometimes it is hard to come to terms with a dog’s declining health when they seem ok physically but mentally they are suffering. I think you are correct in your assessment of your sweet girl’s quality of life. I understand how difficult it is to make the decision to say goodbye, and even harder to convince other family members it might be time to let go. I will attach links to other articles that may offer additional information and great comments from other readers. My heart goes out to you and this tough path you are walking. I pray your chihuahua girl finds peace and rest surrounded by those who love her most.
1. Dog Euthanasia: Knowing When to Say Goodbye
2. How Will You Know When It’s Time to Euthanize Your Dog? 5 Caring, Heartfelt Messages
3. Preparing for Your Dog’s Euthanasia: 10 Thoughts for Peace
I have an 18.5 year old Cairn terrier who came to me as a senior rescue dog at 14. I never expected her to last this long! Over the last year, she developed dementia and it’s getting worse. First, it was mostly restlessness, especially at night. My vet put her on gabapentin in January to calm her down in the evening in help her sleep at night, and it helped some, at least initially. But now she has progressed to slowly walking in a small circle, stopping and staring aimlessly, walking behind doors, constantly going up and down from the couch and bed (when she can get up there–many times she can’t make it up the stairs I got for her, but keeps coming back and trying over and over), not responding to my voice, not being able to find a treat in my hand, etc. All the classic dementia signs but becoming more and more frequent. Most recently, she has starting peeing and pooping in the house, at 5 times in the last 2 weeks. We have a dog door and she uses it about 50 times a day, but I think she is forgetting where it is when she needs to go. I think it’s about time to say goodbye to the old girl–I think I gave her 4 happy years at the end, and that’s several more years than I expected her to have when I adopted her.
Dear Ellbee,
I know how tough it is to watch a beloved pup slowly decline and struggle with dementia. Your sweet girl was so lucky to have found you in her senior years. It sounds like you both have enjoyed your time together and enriched each other’s lives. My heart goes out to you as you near the time to say goodbye. Bless you both.
This article has been so helpful. My nearly 15 year old corgi, Louise, has dementia. She paces and pants and also does rhythmic barking that was only at night at first but now it’s all day and night if she isn’t sleeping. She has arthritis and has taken gabapentin for several years as well as carprofin. Our vet prescribed Trazadone which we give her throughout the day and in the evening. She doesn’t see well and is mostly deaf. I find her in the laundry room barking at the wall frequently. This is where she always used to sleep and relax.
The hard part is that she still seems so happy to see me and always wants pets. If I bring her in my bedroom, with a diaper on, she seems to settle down and sleep. I’m just not sure if it’s time. I wonder if her arthritis is making her hurt and that is the cause of some of the restlessness. Such a hard decision.
Thank you for your thoughtful articles.
Hi Jane,
I understand how difficult it can be to make decisions about your pup’s quality of life. Dementia is especially hard because the issues are mostly mental, and they can still look physically ok. Since I haven’t examined your girl myself, I can’t make specific conclusions, but it does sound like Louise is struggling. I always think it is better to say goodbye one day too early rather than one day too late and allow her to suffer needlessly. I hope you can find the answers you need to make the best decision for you and Louise. Praying for your strength and comfort for your heart.
My dog Aslan is the love of my life. He is an almost 15 years old Golden Retriever. He suffers from osteoarthritis and can no longer walk on his own without support. I have ordered a wheelchair so I can take him out for a walk. His condition has been deteriorating for three weeks now, so I could not take him out for a walk. He also suffers from dementia. In the evenings he becomes anxious, cries and barks and wants to walk for hours, but because of osteoarthritis he cannot so I have to hold him and walk with him in the house. For almost two years, I gave him herbal sedatives at night, and it was enough to help him sleep. For the last six months, however, at the urging of the veterinarian, I give him Anafranil and a chemical sedative that belongs to a class of medicines called Benzodiazepine. For the last 3 months it took 2 to 3 hours for the sedative to work and for Aslan to be able to sleep, but in the last 2 weeks the condition has gotten worse. After he manages to fall asleep with difficulty, he sleeps for 2-3 hours and then wakes up in the middle of the night, crying and barking and panting intensely, while for the last two nights his body is warmer than usual. After a nightmarish night, where nothing helped him calm down, I took him to the vet early in the morning. The vet told me that all the symptoms I described to him were due to dementia and that it might be time to consider euthanasia. I explained to the vet that I have ordered a wheelchair and I want to wait for it to arrive because I am thinking and hoping that when we start going out for a walk again, his condition will improve. The vet told me he thought it was unlikely but he understands my need to try this too. He gave us a new drug to try, which actually made Aslan sleep for several hours both day and night. I will continue to give it to him because I want to know that if I have to make the decision of euthanasia, I did it after I tried everything before. I will be honest … Physically and mentally I am very tired, I wanted to sleep without breaks, to live without worrying constantly, to have freedom of movement, to enjoy life again, and without giving most of my small salary to veterinarian. Last night I wished Aslan to die so we could both calm down. This morning when the vet talked about euthanasia it was as if I was waking up from lethargy and realised he was talking about my baby. I feel that dementia makes both Aslan and me lose ourselves. But on the other hand I feel that I can not manage the decision to end his life. It’s what I love most about the world. I feel remorse that I am tired. I constantly feel that what I do is not enough. (Please forgive my English, it is not my native language.)
Hi Maria,
I understand your heartache and how difficult this decision can be. I know you don’t want to give up too quickly, but I agree with your vet that it sounds like euthanasia might be the most loving option at this point. I always say that it is better to say goodbye one day too early rather than one day too late and allow your pup to suffer needlessly. I know you love Aslan, and it is obvious that you would do anything for him, but your quality of life matters too! I hope you can find the strength to give your sweet boy peace and rest. I will attach links to other articles that may have additional information and great comments from other readers. Bless you. ♥
1. Preparing for Your Dog’s Euthanasia: 10 Thoughts for Peace
2. Dog Euthanasia: Knowing When to Say Goodbye
3. How Will You Know When It’s Time to Euthanize Your Dog? 5 Caring, Heartfelt Messages
Thanks for this article. I am struggling with the decision for my 15 year old pup. The biggest issue is restlessness at night. Many nights of broken sleep have left me exhausted… otherwise she is so healthy physically. I feel selfish that lack of sleep for me is the reason to end her life. But I am not sure I can take the stress and anxiety much longer.
Dear Lisa,
Please don’t carry around the unnecessary burden of guilt over this decision. Your quality of life matters just as much as your senior girl. Euthanasia is a good and loving option for situations exactly like yours. We are so used to looking at dogs and determining they are happy and healthy just because they don’t have anything “physically” wrong. But mental disease is very real and can be so difficult for our beloved dogs to live with. Not to mention, when we are under the stress of care giving every day and losing sleep, the bond we have with our dog can become broken and we can get resentful. This isn’t fair to you or your pup. I will attach a link to other articles that may offer additional information. It is always a good idea to reach out to your vet and discuss your concerns. They may have ideas about a medication to try or can offer hospice/palliative care. I hope you can find the answers you need to make the best decision for you and your sweet girl. Wishing you both peace and rest.
1. Senior Dog Anxiety at Night? 6 Solutions for Better Sleep
2. Dog Euthanasia: Knowing When to Say Goodbye
3. Preparing for Your Dog’s Euthanasia: 10 Thoughts for Peace
Hi there- my sweet schnauzer mix rescue boy, Rolly, has CDC and arthritis. The past few months his mental state has rapidly declined, even on Trazodone and other cognitive medications. Rolly frequently paces, has severe anxiety, is extremely clingy, and often times takes a lot of convincing to eat his food. On top of it all is sporadic and unpredictable moments of aggression; he has already bit three members of my family. Physically, he looks fine and still has some moments filled with energy and excitement. However, with his recent and increasing aggressive behavior I am facing the difficult decision to either re-home or put him to rest. (For context, one of the bites was severe enough for stitches)
I love and adore Rolly, and the thought of re-homing him seems unbearable and cruel. Euthanasia seems like the kinder option, as we know he would have a good, happy end of his life surrounded by those who love him. However, I’m having a difficult time letting go. Am I making the right decision?
Dear KeriAnne,
My heart breaks for you and this difficult situation you are in with Rolly. I will be honest…I really don’t think rehoming him is an option. If there is a safety risk and aggressive behavior, I feel like the only loving choice you have left is humane euthanasia. I will attach a link to another article that may offer additional information and good comments from other readers. I hope you can make these last days together happy and full of joy. Focus on the good times and relive the sweet memories you’ve shared together. I pray you will have the strength to give Rolly peace and rest. Bless you both. ♥
Preparing for Your Dog’s Euthanasia: 10 Thoughts for Peace
My 10 year old lad has anklets had anxiety. It’s increased in the past year. He cowers shaking and panting hard. Sitting and petting him doesn’t seem to help but we try. He’s lost some small control of his bowls which is frustrating on some level, I have an infant who crawls around and I fear I can’t keep up if he gets scared and looses a small stool or has some liquid leave his bowl. He’s barged into the bathroom and jumped into the bathtub with my son frighted suddenly which is also concerning on a few levels – possible injury to my son and also just the process to calm my sweet pup but also defuse the situation and start bath time over.
We’ve tried CBD for dogs, tried an anxiety vest, it’s certainly dementia. Medications the vet has given don’t seem to help, but also he acts totally fine at the vet or anywhere he is excited about (the vet has new people and treats).
Just lost on what to do. Euthanasia seems the east way out and I’m just a softy, hard decision but it may be time.
Hi Carly,
Dementia is such a difficult disease. It is hard to determine what the quality of life is when a dog is physically ok but mentally declining. I am sorry you are having to be so vigilant about the fecal incontinence with your infant crawling around. It might be a good idea to have a hospice vet come to your house and assess your senior guy. They can let you know if there are therapies to try or if euthanasia is the most loving option at this point. I hope you can find the answers you need to make the best choice for you and your boy. My heart goes out to you. Bless you both.
Thanks for this very insightful information. Our mini schnauzer will turn 15 in a couple months (Jul 2022). Sadly I am seeing all the signs of CCD, and in fact since 2020 , where we both had bouts of depression following the unexpected death of my husband ( who our furry friend loved most) to C-19. He was a very healthy 62 yo with no underlying and she missed him terribly to the point of having little to no appetite for several weeks. At the time I contributed depression to be the reason for her running into walls , pacing, appearing confused, not responding , going in circles, & having mild aggression. ( in hindsight I think my husband death greatly impacted her health overall). A visit to vet for physical showed some mild kidney problem and meds were given which seemed to work, but she’s just not been the same since my husband passed.
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In 2021 when she still wasn’t eating well enough, I took her to vet and found out some dental care needed to be done. Dental surgery went well. In March 2022 a hematoma was discovered in the ear and vet did a procedure. A RX was prescribed and she healed beautifully. The same CCD signs appeared more noticeably and the aggression peaked to the point when she wandered off one day I think gate was left open that she bit my daughter who picked her up to bring her back home. She’ knows my daughter who live with me & the entire family who often visits. My daughter is a FNP(family Nurse Practitioner) and is up to date on tetanus, and she knew what to do and the bite healed with ni problem.. Thank God. I am very concerned and breaks my heart that CCD may be progressing and that I’ll have to make a decision that I don’t want to make c/o putting her down. She doesn’t come when I call her. The vet said to clap my hands and that does help, but sometime I have to go and get her and when I do , it is with slow careful movements to let her smell my hand and then progress to gently stroke behind her ears. She doesn’t seem to know me when I bathe her anymore and is irritable and snaps at me.
I never had to use puppy pads. But after soiling the rugs and peeing the kitchen floor to many times I’ve bought some and I have to put her in the laundry room at night with using them. I also have a crate for her in the family room that she sleeps in some nights but is often soiled as she doesn’t bark , whine or cry any more. She barks only when our back yard and neighbors dogs come to fence and they jaw at each other. A near delight because I feel like she’s unhappy. But funny every morning she leaps through the back door and a cross the lawn like a bunny rabbit. I don’t understand how I’m supposed to consider putting her down. Too many decisions lately. I have no room for guilt. Thoughts?
Dear Anne,
It sounds like you have had a very difficult and emotional time these last couple of years. I am sorry your schnauzer girl’s health is declining as well. From what you are describing, I am concerned that at this point, your pup does not have a very good quality of life and neither do you. I can only imagine how tough it must be to clean up after her every day and worry about her getting lost or biting someone because of the progression of the cognitive dysfunction. Euthanasia is a good option to consider for her specific case and may be the most loving and unselfish choice that can be made. I always think it is better to say goodbye one day too early rather than one day too late and allow a dog to suffer needlessly. We allow our hearts to break so they can find peace and rest. I know this decision is not easy but pray that you will have the strength to make the best choice for you and your sweet girl.
Thank you for this article. We have been struggling with our 13 year old loved and spoiled boy. He’s such a big part of our family, but for the past 9-12 months has had increasing signs of dementia. He has always had anxiety but over the last year it has sky rocketed and evenings are the worst. He whines and cries all night most nights until bedtime, when he wants to repetitively go through his bedtime routine. We have to “herd him” around to get him outside (because he has become nervous in the dark) then back inside and into his bed. He won’t come in the house after going outside to the bathroom at any point in the day and we have to either lure him in with treats or physically go get him. We’ll occasionally find him napping in odd places like closets or a tile shower in our basement- all completely uncharacteristic for him. He has mobility issues as well with both back legs showing significant weakness and shaking, and has recently begun to limp on his front leg as well. He still enjoys going for long walks and will pull to try to go farther if we try to head home, but when nearing the end of those walks you have to basically drag him home and his limping has increased. His hearing has recently decreased and he is basically deaf, and we are starting to fear his reaction to our kids’ friends and
Guests in our home as he gets surprised when he doesn’t hear people emter and then barks and gets defensive. He also has Cushing’s disease and his hunger is insatiable. We’ve elected to leave that untreated as the process to treat is expensive and unpredictable and in conjunction with his other issues just seems like it might be time to say goodbye. It’s such a difficult decision, but finding your articles has brought some peace to this process and I truly appreciate it. So many friends and family members have told us “He’ll tell you” or “you’ll know” when it’s time, but we are exhausted and frustrated and he seems so unhappy sometimes. I don’t feel he is necessarily telling us it’s time, especially when he sometimes seems so happy while out for hikes so the uncertainty weighs on us but I don’t see how this daily routine is sustainable for any of us. Thank you for helping us navigate this difficult time with your helpful articles.
Dear Heather,
I am sorry your sweet boy’s health is declining and his mental state is suffering. It does sound like letting go may be the most loving and unselfish choice you can make. As much as you love him, your quality of life matters too. Dogs can tell when we are frustrated and sometimes the strain of caregiving can break the bond we have with a beloved dog, which isn’t fair for the dog or the owner. Once a decision is made, I have always found it helpful to pick a date to say goodbye and then spend the last days spoiling them rotten and making wonderful memories. Here is an article that may offer additional information and great comments from other readers: Preparing for Your Dog’s Euthanasia: 10 Thoughts for Peace
I hope you can find the strength to walk this difficult path. Praying for comfort for everyone involved. Bless you!
Thanks for the article, it was very informative. Our 14 year old Yorkie, Ace, has started to show signs of dementia. I’ve been noticing symptoms for the past several weeks but he seemed pretty normal except for pacing and wanting attention. Tonight has been the worse that he has ever been, I’m up now because he is pacing, disoriented, confused, restless, and air biting. Also it’s raining outside and my electricity is out so I know that’s only adding to his anxiety. Last year I had to put my 15 year old lab/collie mix, Shadow, to sleep because she had a tumor in her throat. It was one of the hardest things that I have ever had to do. We miss her tremendously. It breaks my heart to think that we will have to do the same with him. I’m calling my vet in the morning to make an appointment as soon as possible.
Hi Michelle,
I am sorry your little guy is struggling with dementia. I can only imagine how worrisome it must be to watch him pace and go through anxiety attacks. I am glad you are trying to have him examined by your vet. They may want to rule out seizures or other more serious issues and may be able to prescribe medications to help resolve some of these new symptoms. Here is another article that may offer additional information: Senior Dog Anxiety at Night? 6 Solutions for Better Sleep
I hope you find the answers you need to make the best decision for you and Ace. Praying he finds peace and comfort and can get back to living his best life.
I just put down my 15 year old Schnoodle today with dementia, and it was the hardest thing I had to do. I cried like a baby and so did my son who grew up with our dog Max. I dont wish Dementia on any dog or any owner. We all have this perception that if our dogs looks well, how dare we put a dog down, but if the dog wasn’t walking well, organ failure or had cancer its ok. Right?! This disease is heartbreaking 💔. I have tried to make him the most comfortable for the past year. Max would pace non-stop day and night, bark relentlessly at night and in the morning, panting, anxiety, depression, aggression then sweet at times and I had pee pads everywhere in my house, i refused to section his living space off because he already had such bad anxiety, he would pee and poop everywhere in my house. 160 pads a month no joke. He was just existing, he wasnt living as I was just existing and I was not living, noone who has gone through this would never understand. But I wanted to remember Max a little too soon than a little too late. Just because we do not see something physically wrong with a dog does not mean they are living their best life. I hope this helps any other dog owners with the heart wrenching decision 💔
Dear Kim,
Your words hold so much emotion and truth that I hope other readers get to see. You are spot on when you said “just because we do not see something physically wrong with a dog does not mean they are living their best life.” I know how heartbroken you must be without your beloved Max, but I have no doubt he knew how much he was loved. You made the most unselfish and loving choice you could and allowed him to find peace and rest from his anxiety and struggles. I pray with time your heart will heal. May his memory be a blessing to you and your son. ♥
Kim, Thank you so much for your story. I am going through this very same thing right now. My 15 yr old Schnoodle has dementia and I see myself in every single situation you described. It’s heart wrenching. Your message has given me the clarity and comfort of mind I needed to make this challenging decision. Thank you. 💕
Thank you, Kim. I am going through this with my 16 year old girl, who, on top of the Dementia, has hip dysplasia. She shakes her collar and falls over. Her little legs are getting weaker. As far as the Dementia, she has all the signs you have mentioned. My husband and I decided yesterday that it was time. We made an appointment with our vet. I have been crying ever since. Don’t know how I will actually get through the procedure. Thank you for sharing your experience. It is really helpful. It is a fine line between wanting them to keep on going and recognizing that that it is time. I vacillate back and forth, wondering if we are doing the right thing, at the right time. This is the most difficult decision to make for a beloved pet that has been such a big part of your life!
Dear Virginia,
I know the decision you are making is heartbreaking but comes from a place of love. I hope that as your senior girl finds peace and rest your heart will also be comforted. Praying for strength for you and your husband and that everything goes smoothly. Wishing you both the best and may the memory of your sweet girl be a blessing.
I am literally going through this right now with my 16 year old mini dachshund. She had Perthes disease as a puppy and had surgery and was fine all her life until recently – she has lameness and her back end falls over all the time and she always walks on a slant and looks like she’s struggling to stay upright.. X-rays have shown that she likely has pain in her lower back in addition to her hip/leg from the Perthes. She is incontinent as well and displays symptoms of dementia (pacing, sometimes for an hour or more, staring into space, unusual sleep schedule like up in the middle of the night or very early in the morning). Because of her lameness she often falls into her pee and she needs to be cleaned up. She’s mostly deaf and also blind in one eye due to corneal degeneration so sometimes walks into a door frame or the edge of the coffee table. I can’t tell if she recognizes me or not or if it’s due to lack of vision or dementia but she is less excited to see me in the mornings or when I come home. She actually barks less now than before – I think because she can’t see or hear people coming to the house which was really the only time she’d bark usually. A handful of times over the last few months I heard her crying and sounding distressed at night but it only lasted for a few seconds. We think the bad days are starting to outnumber the good days and I made an appointment for her today and I am devastated right now. I’m riddled with guilt and being unsure of our decision. We are exhausted emotionally and physically – constantly cleaning up messes (on the floor, in her bed, on her), watching her obsessively so she doesn’t fall and hurt herself, medication for pain and for her eyes several times a day, up at all hours of the night because she wants out or slipped off her bed and needs help to get up, always worried about her when we aren’t home and what kind of mess we will have to clean up after work (usually she’s oblivious and will walk through any mess and track it all over the house which is so unlike her, she was always such a princess about getting her feet dirty or wet). We don’t want to put her down for our own convenience – I am willing to be tired for her if she still has a decent quality of life. I’m just not sure if she does or not anymore. I have seen her tail wag maybe 5 times in the last 3 or 4 months, she has had zero interest in her toys for even longer than that. She still loves her food but our vet said that with hounds since they are highly food motivated, a disinterest in food isn’t a reliable indicator of it being time. There are glimmers of her being her old playful, goofy self but they are getting less often, maybe only a few times a week. We still don’t know if we are making the right decision. I really wanted to give her one more summer and I’m heartbroken that might not happen.
Dear Karissa,
My heart goes out to you and this difficult situation you are in with your senior girl. I understand you not wanting to choose euthanasia for convenience, but that is not at all what this sounds like to me. Your little Dachshund definitely sounds like her health is declining and she is struggling daily. Also, you do need to consider your own quality of life. I know how much you love your pup, and she would want you to take care of yourself too. I always think it is better to say goodbye one day too early rather than one day too late and allow a beloved dog to suffer needlessly. Making the heartbreaking choice to let go will give your sweet girl the peace and rest she has earned after a lifetime of love and devotion. I hope you can find the answers you need to make the best decision for you and your senior girl. I will attach links to other articles that may offer additional information. Bless you both.
1. How Will You Know When It’s Time to Euthanize Your Dog? 5 Caring, Heartfelt Messages
2. Dog Euthanasia: Knowing When to Say Goodbye
3. Preparing for Your Dog’s Euthanasia: 10 Thoughts for Peace
An update….
My dog’s condition improved somewhat since my last message and we were able to give her one more summer, with careful attention and patience. However she has started to decline more the last few weeks so we finally made the decision to let her go on November 3rd. She barely responds to us anymore (unless we have food), she doesn’t remember how to do her tricks. Usually she looks at us blankly, she won’t play with toys and rarely wags her tail or gets excited about anything (if she does show interest in something it’s very briefly). Even the 2 steps down to the back door scare her so we carry her up and down always. Her hind end is becoming increasingly lame even with months of pain medication. Her confusion is increasing – I will often have to take her outside 3 or 4 times before she remembers what she’s supposed to do out there. Even so, at least once a day we have an accident to clean up in the house or her bed, often at 4 or 5am. Recently it seems like she’s having trouble eating and we can’t figure out why. Kibbles getting stuck in her teeth? It’s like she has a hard time chewing and sometimes we’ve panicked because it almost sounded like she was choking. She’s also very slow to finish her meal which is totally unlike her, it’s like it’s a chore. Although she still is very interested in what we are eating and getting treats whenever she can.
My husband has been ready to do this for a few months but he’s been patiently waiting for me to come to terms with it. I don’t know if I ever will but I think this is the closest I will ever be to ready. I am a complete basket case and still at times I am desperately trying to rationalize her behavior/condition (“it’s ok, she’s just mellowed in her old age and she’s super chill now”) but I know that’s wrong. I am terrified of letting this progress to the point of seizures which is something I’ve heard of happening. This will be the hardest 2 weeks of my life but I want to spend it loving on her and giving her all the attention, even if she doesn’t remember me.
Dear Karissa,
Thank you for the update! What a blessing to have had a few extra months with your senior girl. I understand how emotional these next two weeks will be but am glad you will have the opportunity to lavish your pup with love. Praying for your strength and comfort for your heart. Bless you and your sweet girl.
Thank you for all of the information in this article. We have a 15.5 year old papillon that is suffering with CCD, severe arthritis, severe periodontal disease (as toy breeds often do). We were told last year that it would be kind to let her go. Eleven months later she is still with us. I took her to another vet last Friday and got the same opinion. My husband is having much difficulty letting go. He thinks I am uncaring, however he is not the one that has to walk out the door while she is screaming, walk back into screaming and feel bad, since I am the one that is home the most. I am at a loss, because I think this is very selfish. I appreciate any input. Thank you
Dear Solveig,
You are right to be concerned about your senior girl’s quality of life. Sometimes it can be hard to know when it is time to let go. I do think it is better to say goodbye one day too early rather than one day too late and see them suffer needlessly. If you make a decision now, you can give them peace and rest and make sure the process is smooth and calm. If you wait too long, the ability to decide may be taken from you. In my experience, when dogs pass on their own it doesn’t usually happen peacefully in their sleep. I will attach links to other articles that may offer additional information and great comments from other readers. I hope you can find the answers you need to have productive talk with your husband and ultimately make the best decision for you and your sweet girl. Bless you both.
1. Dog Hospice Care Can Bring Peace and Dignity to Your Dog’s Final Days
2. Preparing for Your Dog’s Euthanasia: 10 Thoughts for Peace
3. Dog Euthanasia: Knowing When to Say Goodbye
Hello – this information has been extremely helpful to me. We’ve had our dog Ellie since 2014, when we adopted her from a local shelter. At the time, they estimated she was 5 years old. She’s now 13 and has been battling CCD for the past year. Over the past few weeks, she has progressively gotten worse. She paces around the house at night, sleeps all day long and has started having accidents when she’s never had them in the house before. She’s also to the point where she is aggressive towards other members of the household and will only be with me. We have an appointment with our vet tomorrow, which we will be discussing the euthanasia process. I’m extremely heartbroken. She has been by my side every day since we adopted her and I’m going to miss her terribly. But after reading this article, I can at least remind myself that she will no longer be suffering and we’re doing the right thing. Thanks.
Dear Seth,
I am glad the article was helpful and gave you some insight to this difficult situation. It does sound like Ellie was declining rapidly and struggling quite a bit. I hope the appointment with your vet went well and helped you make the best decision for you and your girl. Praying her last moments were peaceful and filled with love. May her memory be a blessing. ♥
Our sweet girl will turn 16 in just a few days. Her dementia is quite progressed, but it snuck up on us. Looking back, signs were there, but for the last four months, they can’t be written off. She is a lhasa apso and has had back leg weakness for many years, but now, her legs will just give out on her, and she will lie down right where she is. She gets “lost” in tight places multiple times a day, sometimes finding herself in precarious situations in which she needs “rescued”. She wanders aimlessly, sometimes in circles, but always crashing into or over things. She suddenly began showing signs of incontinence, which we have been able to mitigate with phenylpropanolamine. We have had to start trazodone at night to keep her calm. She has episodes of panting and what seems like anxiety. She is still able to find her food, water, and bed; but she rarely seeks us out for attention (although she will gladly accept pets if she happens to stumble through). I think what makes it particularly hard to make the decision to say goodbye is that this has just become the new norm. It absolutely breaks are hearts a million times a day to see her this way, but the progression was so slow until recently, that we are also still coming to terms with it. I appreciate the content here as we grapple with when…
Dear Chloe’s Mom,
I am sorry for the difficult decision you are facing with your senior girl. So often we are blinded to the severity of suffering when we see our beloved dog every day and the changes happen slowly and are subtle. Sometimes it takes a friend or loved one to make a comment and open our eyes to the reality that is right in front of us. I will attach links to other articles that may offer helpful information and great comments by other readers. I pray your heart will be comforted and you will find clarity in your decision making. I hope you find the answers you need to make the best choice for you and your sweet girl.
1. Preparing for Your Dog’s Euthanasia: 10 Thoughts for Peace
2. In-Home Dog Euthanasia: Heartfelt Answers to 12 FAQs
3. Grieving the Loss of a Dog After Euthanasia (& Finding Peace)
We adopted our sheppard/lab mix named Archie at the age of 9 in 2016 and he’s now 14 or 15.. He spent 7 months in the shelter until my wife came along and he melted her heart. We have no idea why he was abandoned and that mystery has always alluded us because he’s an absolutely great dog. 2 years ago, we started seeing some subtle changes in Archie. He suddenly and inexplicably became extremely anxious while riding in the car. Since then his symptoms have slowly progressed to random pacing, episodes of barking at nothing, soiling in the house, sundowning at a certain time every evening and extreme separation anxiety as well as unusually clingy behavior. Thankfully he sleeps all night with a well timed dose of Trazodone. He has been diagnosed with CCD and we’ve made plans to say goodbye next week. I’m not writing this to ask for advice because we know what we need to do but I just wanted to say that your comments to those dealing with this as well as your blog comments really helped us feel like we are not alone in this extremely difficult decision. It isn’t as clear cut as we always thought it would be. We struggled with the feeling that we shouldn’t let him go because he was too hard to care for. We see flickers of our old dog every now and then which gives us second thoughts about whether we should be putting him down but we find comfort in the mindset that it’s always better to make that decision a day too early rather than a day too late. We want to spare him from that inevitable suffering. Thanks for bringing all this to the surface. It has really helped us.
Dear Travis,
Thank you for the kind words about the article and the blog comments. I am glad you were able to find some comfort in the stories of other readers. I am sorry the time has come to say goodbye to Archie, but it sounds like you are making the most loving decision for him. I will attach a link to another article that may offer additional information for the situation you are facing. I pray his last days will be filled with love and joy. I hope his memory will be a blessing and your heart will find peace knowing he has found his peace and rest. ♥
Preparing for Your Dog’s Euthanasia: 10 Thoughts for Peace
Although I saw changes in my 18 year old Jack Russell, this past Monday she started having dramatic changes. All of the classic symptoms; walking in circles, getting stuck behind doors because she got lost, falling and then not being able to get up, etc. I took her to the vet hoping she had an ear infection but she found no physical problems other than back leg issues she has had for a few years and told me it was cognitive decline. Honestly, I was prepared somewhat to put her down that day, but I could not bring myself to. I think I just wanted to see if she would get better. I set her up in the kitchen with a large crate, towels on the ceramic floor to help her if she slipped on the floor and her bowls of food and water accessible. She paced most of the night in the kitchen. I tried locking her in the large crate with her bed and I found her just standing the few times I got up. I opened the crate and when I got up this morning found out she pooed on a rug, stepped in it and it was all over the kitchen floor. I felt so bad for her. I take her out multiple times a day and she still goes, but she does not seem to know who I am. I am sure her time has come. I will give it another week or so. She has been around for over a quarter of my life. It is certainly hard to let her go.
Dear Jeanne,
My heart aches for you and your sweet girl. It is so hard to watch them struggle and know there really isn’t anything you can do to help. I hope you can make her last days full of joy and love. Praying that when the time comes you will feel peace and her transition will be smooth. Here are some other articles you may find helpful:
1. Preparing for Your Dog’s Euthanasia: 10 Thoughts for Peace
2. Grieving the Loss of a Dog After Euthanasia (& Finding Peace)
3. Dog Euthanasia: Knowing When to Say Goodbye
Wow. I’ve got a 16 year old JRT doing the same pacing, falling, running into things, loss of outside bathroom abilities. She still recognizes us, but all the CCD signs are there. Trying to get the courage to put her down.
JRTs are such good pals. Sorry you are going through this.
Hello.
I am also looking for answers to help me make one of the hardest decisions I might ever have to make.
My old girl suffered a mini stroke last year (we think) and lost her sight overnight.
All the symptoms of dementia I am attributing to her loss of sight.. getting lost in corners, being anxious, not recognising us or interacting with toys as she is quite a healthy dog otherwise.. eats well, still tells us when she need to go outside, sleeps through most of the night and is of a healthy weight.. but is she happy? I don’t know.. I still see light in her but others are telling me its time to say goodbye.. but is it? Will I be giving up on her or keeping her in mental anguish/pain..? I can’t decide and have asked our vet for advice. He said he can’t make that decision for us and that our girl has lots of little things wrong with her not one big thing which makes it hard. He did however say that if we asked him to end her life we wouldn’t object.. I’m so confused and torn.. when do you known it’s time??
Dear Heartbroken,
I completely understand your distress in making this decision. Sometimes the answer just isn’t going to be obvious and falls into a grey zone. I do think it is always better to let go one day too early rather than one day too late. I will attach some links to other articles that may have additional information and good comments from other readers. I hope you can find the answers you need to help you make the decision that is best for you and your sweet girl. I pray your heart will find peace and be comforted during this tough season of life. ♥
1. Dog Euthanasia: Knowing When to Say Goodbye
2. How Will You Know When It’s Time to Euthanize Your Dog? 5 Caring, Heartfelt Messages
3. Preparing for Your Dog’s Euthanasia: 10 Thoughts for Peace
I am reading this website looking for answers that are probably not here, looking for help that will never come. My poor beautiful girl, a border rescue named Zoe, that will be 13 on the 14th of February 2022 is now struggling with CCD. She is now as I write this whimpering in front of me with no real reason or wish for what she wants, I try to find a solution for her yet she does not seem to know herself, she will calm down in an hour or so then on to the next thing. She has moments I really think she will be fine, like she plays with my daughter’s dog, or she will roll on the floor and play with one of her many toys. I am then snapped back to my reality, We lost her best friend another Border named Joker on 3/25/2019, he had a brain tumor. We lost him so young only 9, For 2yrs he had horrible seizures that I think contributed to Zoe sliding into depression and such grief after he died. She aged terribly, then last year was diagnosed with CCD. I just wish there was something reasonable I could give her that would make a real difference in here life, at least help her feel better.
I know we become selfish, love for our animals is such a real and painful thing, these borders have given to us so much. They were service animals, my husband suffered a severe head injury during his Military Career. Joker was his actual Service Dog, but little Zoe was such a champ recognizing his PTSD, she would jump up in his lap much faster than Joker haha, so we always said he had two angels watching over him. This has been so very hard on my husband to watch the decline of Zoe just as he had to watch Joker fade until we had to put him down, she was just so smart just like our boy Joker.
I am just in a wishful state, hoping for answers, trying to help an angel spend a few more years here on earth giving her love and helping a family like she has always done. Thanks for listening.
Hi Valerie,
I am sorry Zoe is having so much trouble, especially while you are still living with the loss of Joker fresh on your mind. It is hard to watch them struggle and heartbreaking to start making decisions about saying goodbye. Since I haven’t examined Zoe myself, it is difficult to make specific recommendations. Is she currently taking any medications for the CCD? If not, I highly recommend you talk to you vet and find out her options. They may be able to try supplements or an anti-depressant/anti-anxiety medication to see if it helps relieve some of the CCD symptoms that seem to be the most worrisome. I will attach a link to another article you may not have read that has more information. No matter what choice you end up making, I hope it brings you peace. I wish you the best and give Zoe a big hug for me. ♥
Canine Cognitive Dysfunction in Dogs: Signs, Symptoms, Solutions
Thank you for this article. It was really a comfort. We decided to euthanize our dear dog with dementia last October. In Japan, to euthanize pets is not at all common. Many people try to extend their living time as long as possible. But we considered to extend his hard life without any expectation of cure is our selfish hope. And thankfully, our vet understands our decision and taught us the timing to euthanize him, when his begins to vomit both food and water, or difficulty of breathing appears.
He came to suffer from dementia in summer of 2020 and soon
he became unable to find water without any smell. In September 2021 it gradually became difficult for him even to eat solid food. He couldn’t stand up by himself. It deprived him of night sleep. He became to bark and struggle restlessly and cried for frustration, and in October his body came to reject everything contrary to his will.
That was exactly you write here, “your dog’s life has grown so difficult that he or she is no longer happy. You don’t want to see your dog get any worse. So, you are choosing to provide your dear companion an escape from his or her mental and physical pain. ”
All we could do was to release him from this living hell. To say good-by was really heartbreaking, but at the same time we felt relieved as we believed that we had done the right choice. At last, we could peacefully sleep after the long nights of struggle against dementia, so did our dearest dog. Finally he could rest in peace literally.
Thank you for giving me this chance to tell.
Hi Ken’s Mom,
Thank you for sharing your experience with us. I am sorry you had to say goodbye to your sweet boy, but it sounds like you made the right choice, and it came from a place of love. I am glad you have such a good working relationship with your veterinarian. I wish you the best and hope your dog’s memory will be a blessing to you and your family.
Our dog is sixteen and we adore him. Lately, he has begun to pace, pant and whine for hours every night. He constantly whines at door to go outside, but barks to come in after we let him out, He’s on meds for hip pain and we give him trazadone when his anxiety is out of control. He barks constantly and nothing we do can settle him, we take him for walks but he does not last long on these outings. He’s in relatively good health and still has control of his bowels. We are at our wits end because he whines, paces and barks from dinner time until he’s passed out from exhaustion, I feel guilty because sometimes I get inpatient with him and I never was before this behavior started. He still knows who we are and is very attached to my husband. He only behaves this way at night but it lasts for hours. I can’t even comprehend putting him down but I don’t want him to suffer. We can’t imagine life without him him but I worry this behavior is a sign that he is suffering somehow. We just can’t seem to settle him and worry if we have to be away somewhere at night while he’s going through this. We love him more than anyone can imagine. Just feel sad he’s so upset in the evening.
Dear Denise,
My heart aches for you and this difficult situation you are in with your senior guy. You are right to be concerned about this nighttime anxiety and his quality of life. It is hard to evaluate how much a dog is struggling when the majority of their issues are mental instead of physical. But I do believe these mental struggles cause as much suffering (if not more) than physical issues can. It is ok to consider euthanasia in your situation and it does not make you a bad pet parent. Everyone in the household is feeling the effects of this anxiety and your quality of life matters too! One thing I always worry about with caregiver fatigue, is that the loving bond between you and your dog can be broken due to stress and hardship. This isn’t fair to either of you. I hope you can find the answers you need to make the best decision for you and your sweet boy. Praying for strength and clarity for you and peace and rest for your dog and family.
I rescued a chihuahua 14 years ago when she was around 3 to 5 years old. Mocca is currently around 17 to 19 years old. She has severe dementia and is on melatonin and gabapentin/ trazodone. My father keeps telling me to end her suffering as she is always whinning for long duration, pacing and getting stuck many times a day. She no longer pee/poop at her usual spot so she is wearing diapers. It pains me to see her whinning which can go on for very long until she falls asleep (maybe due to exhaustion). Previously without her medication, I had to get up 2-3 times (every 2 hours) a night due to her whinning and pacing. Now I’m at least able to get 4 hrs of uninterrupted sleep before she starts whinning again. She still has her good appetite although i will need to guide her to her food and support her body when she’s eating. We will also carry her to her water bowl several times a day to ensure that she’s drinking enough water. Her daily routine after waking up at 5.30am would be pacing until she gets her breakfast. After breakfast, more pacing and whinning until her medication kicks in and she falls asleep. Her entire day till dinner would be whinning and pacing and falling asleep, only to wake up after 30mins to an hour or two. After dinner, she would whine and fall asleep for 30mins and starts whinning badly again. Then after her medication, she would whine non stop until meds kick in and she sleeps for 4 to 5 hours and wakes up again the next day.
The thought of putting her down would cross my mind when I see her whinning/ pacing non-stop for so long. I often wonder if her throat will get sore. The vet said that when Mocca whines, she’s not in any pain. But I imagine how miserable i would be if I’m in her shoes, shouting loudly non-stop uncontrollably for an hour. Then when she calms down and sleeps after her medication, I will feel very guilty for even having the thought of euthanizing her.
Dear Serene,
My heart aches for you as you face this difficult situation with Mocca. From what you describe, it does sound like her quality of life is very poor. Would you say she is truly living or merely existing? Humans often think about the future and anticipate the coming of holidays or other joyful events. Dogs have no concept of the future and really live for today. So, if all today brings is anxiety and struggling, then that is their reality. I honestly believe the suffering caused by mental disease is just as bad, if not worse, as physical disease. It is ok to say goodbye before all joy is lost and the only thing that remains is pain. I would rather let go one day too early than one day too late and allow unnecessary suffering. I hope you will be able to find the advice you need to make the best choice for everyone involved. Praying for strength and clarity. Bless you and your sweet girl. ♥