If you’re making the difficult decision to say goodbye to your beloved dog, integrative veterinarian Dr. Julie Buzby understands your grief. In part two of her series on grieving the loss of a dog, she offers guidance on how to prepare for your dog’s euthanasia. By understanding the procedure, may you embrace the final gift you’re giving your dog … and may you find peace.
After last week’s blog post (Grieving the Loss of a Dog After Euthanasia) generated the most reader comments of any blog we’ve ever published, I realized that I owed it to our community to write some difficult things about pet euthanasia.
Replace your guilt with grace
The overwhelming sentiment in those comments was grief wrapped in guilt. It broke my heart to realize the abundance of guilt burdening the souls of our readers—sometimes for years—regarding euthanizing their dogs. These dog parents had done the best they could with the information they had. They had nothing to feel guilty about. Rather, they had heroically given their suffering dogs a final gift when they unselfishly let them go.
But at the root of most of the reader comments, there were some common threads: lingering questions, confusion, and a lack of confidence in their decision on the euthanasia process.
Letting your dog go is every shade of difficult
As a veterinarian, helping dogs and their families through this difficult time is something I’ve done hundreds of times. It’s not routine by any means, but it is familiar. However for pet parents, it may be something they are experiencing for the very first time or will only experience a few times during their lifetime. There is nothing familiar or comfortable about it…at all. It’s the worst of times.
I can’t provide specific medical advice as to determining the right time to let your dog go. Even for my own clients, whose dogs I know well, I often find myself telling them it’s not a black and white moment in time—it’s a grey zone. But what I can help you with is the fear of the unknown and managing expectations.
Finding the peace in the goodbye is possible
I want to give you as much honest information about the procedure of pet euthanasia as I can. It’s a painful subject, but it shouldn’t be taboo. I want you to feel proactive, prepared, and peaceful when it’s time for you to say goodbye to your dog.
10 things to help you thoughtfully prepare for your dog’s euthanasia
1. Give your dog a party or “best day” beforehand.
Inevitably, I find myself saying to my clients during a euthanasia appointment, “I’m so heartbroken for you, but I’m not sad for your dog!” What do I mean by this? While saying goodbye to your dog may be one of the worst days of your life, it can be one of the best days of your dog’s life.
First of all, you are making this decision because you know it’s time to end your beloved friend’s pain and suffering. I take hope in knowing that the dog is going to be better off. But we can take the “best day” idea one step further.
One of my veterinary colleagues tells his clients to bring chocolate to their dog’s euthanasia appointment. In the moments preceding the euthanasia, while the doctor and owners are talking, they feed chocolate pieces to the dog, who thinks heaven has descended on earth.
If your dog is food motivated and has an appetite (I know many don’t at this stage), consider feeding a little bit of something typically “off limits.” You don’t want to do this in advance of the appointment because you don’t want to create an upset stomach. However, a few bites of a previously forbidden delicacy right before the euthanasia procedure can spark joy and create a special memory.
2. Script the setting and characters of the last chapter of your dog’s story.
I have euthanized dogs in living rooms, in clients’ vehicles, in backyards, on porches, and on clients’ beds. Although I know it’s still “the norm” and sometimes it is for the best, my least favorite place to facilitate the goodbye is in a veterinary exam room. It’s not that the environment isn’t compassionate—often the staff weeps alongside the owners—but there’s no real privacy and it’s probably not the dog’s favorite place. So I hereby give you permission to write the end of your dog’s story.
When it’s time to say goodbye, where would you and your dog like to be? And who would be with you? Sadly, COVID has ushered in some limitations.
However, I want you to know that in addition to working with your regular veterinarian, there is a growing subset of veterinary medicine that is dedicated to customized in-home euthanasia for dogs. (Lap of Love Veterinary Hospice and the Association of Pet Loss and Bereavement are two excellent resources that offer compassionate end-of-life care and euthanasia services.) Ideally, I try to euthanize pets in the location where they are happy and most comfortable.
3. Bring the props—your dog’s favorite comforts.
In addition to the characters and setting, you may bring “props” to make the sad appointment a little bit brighter. Perhaps you know that your dog is relaxed by a certain type of music. Feel free to play it on your phone during the euthanasia. Further, consider bringing along a favorite toy or “comfort” item.
Finally, whether at home or at the veterinary hospital, your dog will be lying down for the euthanasia. Plan to use your dog’s favorite dog bed. (You may want to place a waterproof pad on the bed under a blanket in case urine is leaked.) Remember, the goal is to help your dog feel comfortable and content.
4. Pre-pay at the beginning of the appointment.
My friend, Jamie, whose goodbye story was shared in last week’s blog, says, “As a kid, I remember watching my dad with tears in his eyes paying the bill after losing our family dog. From that memory, I learned to pay ahead, so that afterward I could just walk out.”
I couldn’t agree more with Jamie. Most vets handle payment discreetly, along with the required paperwork, at the beginning of the appointment. This way you don’t have to leave the privacy of the exam room or vehicle.
5. Understand what to expect in the process.
Typically, both the dog’s body and the humans’ hearts are fragile during this journey. Both deserve to be gently cared for throughout the process. As a veterinarian, I’m privileged to help the dog through this final transition and to act as a sherpa for the family.
I always begin a euthanasia by carefully explaining to the family what to expect. It’s natural to fear the unknown, and I think having a roadmap is somehow comforting, even though it’s a roadmap of sorrow.
I tell my clients that the euthanasia process will be extremely smooth thanks to wonderful drugs. However, this is not Hollywood. The dog will not close his eyes after the procedure and look like he’s in a Disney movie.
He may urinate and/or defecate after he’s gone. This occurs as the body “lets go.” (Taking the dog for a slow, sniffing-filled potty walk before the procedure reduces the likelihood of this happening.)
Sometimes after passing, a dog will take a few deep, dramatic breaths. We call this agonal breathing, and the very name is creepy. Watching it happen is even creepier, so I’m careful to prepare my clients in case it happens. They need to know that this is not an active reaction of pain or distress on the dog’s part. It’s simply a reflex.
And during those initial moments after the dog has passed, it’s possible to observe the muscles twitching as nerves fire and cells die. This is involuntary and not cause for alarm.
If and when any of the above occur during a euthanasia, it’s important to remember that the dog is unconscious, the heart has likely already stopped, and the spirit is free.
6. Allow your veterinarian to place an IV catheter.
Although I concede that placing an IV catheter does cause a prick of pain, because I know how it feels when I’ve had one inserted, an IV port ensures no future pain-associated injections. Injecting into the IV is not painful and is reliable. On the contrary, often our patients are frail, dehydrated, or hypotensive. Injecting a solution intravenously can be tricky even for seasoned vets under these circumstances. Without an IV catheter, I may struggle to hit the vein the first time. If any euthanasia solution is accidentally injected outside of the vein, this will cause a painful response.
An IV catheter is a one-time step in the procedure. It’s designed to save the dog from pain and anxious moments later.
7. Allow your veterinarian to administer a pre-euthanasia sedative injection.
Not all dogs follow the textbook as they transition out of this life. There are three reasons why I prefer to euthanize a sedated dog:
- Occasionally, a dog seems to “stall” after the euthanasia solution is injected and seemingly refuses to go to sleep. This may be due to the dog’s underlying disease process (especially if there’s brain involvement), organ dysfunction, or abnormal drug delivery because of dehydration or poor perfusion. Whatever the cause, sometimes the dog lingers. And it’s not because they don’t want to leave their loved ones, or are fighting the drugs, or their heart was too strong—all things I’ve heard well-meaning pet owners say. It’s because the chemicals are not working as expected in an old, sick, or diseased body. But when the dog is sedated, if things don’t go as planned, I can simply administer additional injections as needed without the dog feeling pain, stress, or anxiety. Once the dog is sedated, there’s virtually nothing that can derail a peaceful euthanasia.
- A second reason why I prefer sedation is because some dogs briefly vocalize (bark or cry out) while they are being euthanized. You can imagine how upsetting this is to the family. The good news is the vocalization is not considered to be a fear or pain response, but rather what we call “dysphoria”—an excitatory “high as a kite” disoriented feeling from the drugs. Thankfully, this virtually never happens in a dog who’s had a sedative injection beforehand.
- Finally, a dog who is sedated before euthanasia is much less likely to experience agonal breathing (explained in point five above) after the procedure.
It’s important to mention that, while the sedative is just that—heavy sedation—sometimes it seems to push dogs right into the realm of anesthesia. I hadn’t considered how critically important communicating this detail was until reading Jamie’s story in last week’s blog post.
When describing the loss of her elderly Cocker Spaniel, Rémedy, Jamie shared her disappointment in not realizing that, after Rémedy was given the pre-sedation injection, her beloved dog would become so unresponsive that it was almost as if she were already gone—even though the euthanasia solution had not yet been administered.
Jamie regretted not taking time before the sedation was given to look into her dog’s eyes and say all that she wanted to say. She thought she’d have time before the actual euthanasia injection was given to share that moment.
I experienced something very similar when a colleague came to my house to euthanize our dog, Luke. Even though I knew exactly what was going to happen, I missed my opportunity to be intentional about saying goodbye to our dog because of Luke’s quick-acting sedation.
It should be mentioned that veterinary associations consider pre-euthanasia sedation be the gold standard, but sedation can occur very quickly. Oftentimes, sedation from the first injection will be so profound that you won’t be speaking to an alert, responsive dog once it takes effect (typically within moments).
In the interest of honesty and transparency, the other thing I tell my clients is that the sedation injection may sting a bit. The dog may even react a little. But this is very fleeting and, I think, greatly outweighed by the many benefits of administering sedation before euthanasia.
8. Keep speaking loving words (even if your dog is sedated).
So what words of comfort did I have for Jamie when she lamented the way Rémedy left her? I explained that a dog’s hearing is the last of the five senses to be lost in the journey of death. And even though she was not able to look into Rémedy’s eyes when she spoke the words on her heart, I believe Rémedy still heard those words and knew she was present. I encourage owners to speak loving, reassuring words until I let them know that the dog has slipped away.
9. Take the time you need (and don’t feel guilty about it).
If at any time before, during, or after the procedure, you have a question, please ask freely. I tell my clients that I want their minds to be free to focus on their dog and grieve without being entangled by confusion. This means that before the euthanasia I spend time getting an update on the dog, reaffirming their decision, and just listening to them.
After the euthanasia, I always let the client know that their dog’s heart has stopped, and he is free. The room typically gets very loud or very quiet. Some clients burst into wailing; others are reverently silent. Some clients leave quickly after the euthanasia; others stay for extended periods of time, holding on to those last moments in the presence of their dog. This is also the time that I recommend removing the collar and keeping it as a memory of your beloved pet.
Please know that as veterinarians (and this is true for veterinary staff too), we don’t judge you. Virtually every one of us has walked in your shoes. Take the time you need and grieve without feeling embarrassed.
Our hearts are with you.
10. Know your wishes for care of the body.
Before your dog’s appointment, speak with your veterinarian about final arrangements such as burial or cremation. Sometimes I discuss the options of burial, affordable communal pet cremation, or private cremation at the beginning of the appointment when heads are clearer. But more often, I discuss these types of decisions with my clients well in advance of the painful day. This way, when emotions are raw, the client already knows what they want and doesn’t have to give this decision a second thought.
I would encourage you to make a plan in advance of your dog’s last day. Also, if cost will play a factor in your decision (because private cremation service is significantly more expensive), call your veterinary hospital to get pricing.
Finding peace and comfort through understanding
Whether you are grieving the loss of your dog or dreading an upcoming decision, I hope somewhere in these 10 points you are able to find comfort, understanding, and empowerment to reject the guilt you are not meant to carry.
Are you preparing for your dog’s passing?
Please comment below. We’re here to offer comfort and support through this difficult time.
Finally, if you’re navigating your dear old dog’s senior years, I invite you to sign up for my weekly updates, tips, and articles dedicated to senior dog care.
Victoria Ng says
I have scheduled for my dog to be euthanised next Monday, 18 Nov. My heart is breaking and I am feeling so hurt, sad and guilty, all in one.
He has cancer, just not sure what, as vet wasn’t able to see his organ due to a large splenic mass in his stomach.
Vet feels euthanizing him now will be a better choice as compared to if he gets sicker in future. I am so so so torn…. To let him live out his remaining life or to euthanise him!? He is 14.5 years old… my first dog
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Victoria,
I can only imagine how conflicted you must be facing this emotional decision for your beloved pup. Without examining your boy myself, it is hard to make specific conclusions about his quality of life. I am certain your vet would not recommend euthanasia if they didn’t think it was in your boy’s best interest. Praying for strength and clarity as you navigate this difficult path. Bless you. ♥
Janice L Hakala says
I’m reading this article as we prepare to euthanize my 14.5 year old German Shepherd/Husky cross, Lexi, tomorrow. She has been such a great addition to my life-she made me feel better during infertility, taught me how to be a mom when my daughter came along, loved my daughter so much, and was with me when I cried out the day my dad died. I can hardly believe we are here already. I have always said that part of loving pets is loving them enough to let them go when they are in pain and I know my girl is. I appreciate your tips and one part broke my heart-that hearing is the last to go, because she has been very deaf for awhile now. How will she know what I’m saying? Will she know how loved she is?
Dr. Julie Buzby says
Janice,
My heart breaks for you. Lexi has been there for so many of your big life events and she sounds like a wonderful dog. I can tell how much you love her just by what you wrote here, and I have no doubt that she can tell too. Dogs are so perceptive. I believe she will know that you are with her and you loved her so much, right until the very end. I hope you are able to have a beautiful and peaceful goodbye today. ❤️
Amy L. says
This was a good tear-filled article with some information I had not read prior to finding this. My 12-year old Rottweiler suffers from end-stage arthritis and has not moved or gotten up in over 3 weeks. I have been having to carry him outside to potty. My heart is broken. I am a single mother to a 5 year old. My Maximus has been with me since he was 7 weeks old. He has been completely dedicated to me throughout his entire existence. He is the son I never got to have. I am so angry. I have always said “to myself” that “euthanizing” is something I hope I never have to do and now here I am being faced with it. I started him on steroids when it first happened – nothing changed. Then I went to pain meds, no change, and supplements. He has only gotten worse so I am basically being forced to do this because I know my boy is not happy – but my heart is literally broken into. I replay the images in my head of him leaving me and I almost feel I can’t bear it. I have suffered alot of loss in this life, but this by far takes the lead. I am really struggling. So far, I am thinking about doing it next week which will put him at an entire month with no movement. My heart is absolutely broken and I am so hurt about all of this. Thank you for the article.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Amy,
I am sorry for the delayed reply, but I just responded to your original comment on the arthritis article. I hope you will see it too. If you have not considered in-home euthanasia, I would highly recommend it. You can allow your boy to stay where he is most comfortable and give him a smooth and peaceful goodbye. You have to view this as a sacrifice you make in order to give your beloved Max freedom and peace. He has spent his life loving you well and staying by your side through thick and thin. As hard as it will be to let go, I am certain you can make this difficult choice to spare Max from unnecessary suffering. May his memory stay with you always and continue to be a blessing in your life. Praying for healing for your heart and brighter days ahead.
Robin says
2 days ago we scheduled an at home euthanasia for my beloved 16 year old dog. Today is the day. I have been crying non stop. My little guy stopped having use of his legs all together. I still have hope that it’s temporary. But I fear I am being foolish given his age.
Today is the day……in such turmoil…..
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Robin,
I understand your grief and conflicted emotions over this difficult decision. Praying for clarity and peace. Bless you and your sweet boy. ♥
Chris M says
The pain we all feel on here for our furry families makes me cry to my core. People see me as a burly man who’s supposed to cover up my emotions, but I have to put my 13 year old Lhasa apso Acer down in a few hours because diabetes got the best of him and I’ve drowned in so much tears I lost 13lbs these past few weeks. My two twin dogs are my children and there was no lengths I wouldn’t go to give them the best treatment in life. I bought the highest quality sourced food, kept up with vet visits, exercised when I could, and we were blindsided by diabetes after it being too late. The vet didn’t catch it on his last visit. This last week I have been trying to regulate him with insulin but his body simply won’t accept it, he won’t drink water and is so weak it knifes me in the heart. Hospitalization has a dire outcome prognosis and even though glaucoma has hindered his eye sight, he still looks at me with his eyes saying “I’m miserable dad, I love you so I sleep by the water bowl hoping this will pass but I can’t make any promises.”
I can’t bear the thought of the pain he is going through and it’s eating at my soul. I can’t help but think of the happy times where he’s rolled over on his back with his mini tennis ball in his mouth telling me this is a good life. The way he rooted into the pillows to wake us up in the morning. Those days have long passed and I miss them. His unconditional love was a part of this life I’ll never forget. I’m going to be an emotional wreck for a long time letting him go. I love this dog so much and can’t thank god enough for blessing him with me. The anxiety is eating me up knowing I’ll come home without my buddy to greet me in my arms and sigh in relief upon being held against my shoulder. I don’t know how I’m going to recover from this. 🙁
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Chris,
I am so sorry for your loss of Acer. He sounds like a wonderful pup, and I can only imagine how much you miss him. I know the grief is heavy and seems endless, but what a blessing to have experienced the kind of love that leaves that sort of pain in its wake. You made the selfless sacrifice to allow your own heart to break so that your boy didn’t have to suffer needlessly. I will attach links to other articles that may offer comfort during this emotional time. Praying for healing for your heart and peace as you continue life’s journey. Bless you. ♥
1. Pet Loss Support: Groups & Resources for Comfort
2. Grieving the Loss of a Dog After Euthanasia (& Finding Peace)
3. Dog Memorial Ideas: 10 Ways to Honor Your Dog’s Legacy
jo says
I just put my dog down this past weekend and was still in doubt on whether or not I did the right thing. Then i came across this article and realized I had done everything mentioned above. I feel more at peace knowing that I celebrated his life and had control over his last peaceful days/moments rather than waiting too long for him to pass tragically somehow.
Thank you for your words, it’s helped me realized not to be selfish, but letting him go this way was actually a gift. <3
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Jo,
Thank you for the kind words. I am so glad the article was helpful and offered some comfort and closure as you grieve the loss of your beloved pup. May his memory stay with you always and continue to be a blessing in your life. ♥
Tina says
I’m in the decision making period. Up and down for months. He is in pain from arthritis but is it so bad that I should kill him?
I just don’t know! He still loves cookies but can barely walk! 80 pound, 14 1/2 year old labrador …Jackson.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Tina,
I am sorry your boy is struggling with arthritis pain, and I understand why you are conflicted about how to proceed. If your boy has uncontrolled pain and cannot do the activities that bring him joy, I am not sure a willingness to eat treats is enough to make up a good quality of life. I would rather let go one day too early than one day too late and allow unnecessary suffering. I will attach links to other articles with more information and advice on making this emotional decision. Praying for your strength as you face the unknown path ahead. Bless you and Jackson.
1. When to Euthanize a Dog With Arthritis: A Vet’s Heartfelt Advice
2. Using a Quality of Life Scale for Dogs
3. How Will You Know When It’s Time to Euthanize Your Dog? 5 Caring, Heartfelt Messages
Andrea and Rooney says
Thank you for this article, it is much more thorough than anything I have been told from my vet.
A few days ago we found out my dog has hemangiosarcoma (a word I had never even heard but now have used more times than I’d ever imagined)
I am struggling with this terribly. Even as I read this article I have tears and snot streaming down my face.
Aside from feeling like I can’t go on without my doggy life being partner, I just can’t get past the thought of how scared she’ll be once she realizes what’s happening. I don’t know how to get over this and wish I could just run away with her and ignore this sickness.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Andrea and Rooney,
My heart aches for you as you face these final days with your beloved girl. I understand you don’t want her to be scared, and it is ok to let go before all joy is lost and the only thing that remains is pain and anxiety. I would rather say goodbye one day too early than one day too late and allow unnecessary suffering. Here is a link to another article that may offer additional information and support: When To Euthanize A Dog With Hemangiosarcoma: A Vet’s Guidance
I am sorry you are facing this emotional decision but know you will do what is best for your girl when the time comes. Wishing you strength and clarity as you navigate this difficult path. Bless you and your sweet girl. ♥
Elvy says
My dog is 15 years old and has had a heart condition for years. Due to her old age, she can’t see or hear well anymore and has had mild CCD for the last two years. Over a week ago, her condition took a turn for the worse, She suddenly became paralyzed. I brought her to the vet, and it turns out she has a spinal problem, heart disease at stage C, and kidney disease at stage 2. She has lost weight and doesn’t have much of appetite, which breaks my heart. She is still drinking and eating her treats, though. She still wags her tail when she sees me, despite not being able to poop or pee with dignity anymore. I told the vet that I don’t want her to suffer any invasive treatment with her old age and asked about when will the right time to let my dog go because I owed this dog my life, and suffering is the last thing I want for her. The vet said anytime you’re ready. It dawned on me that she was never going to get better, I do know this deep in my heart, and over the years I have seen that my dog is getting more and more tired. Sleepless nights are more frequent due to her panting excessively and breathing difficulty. At some point, her tongue turned bluish because she was breathing so hard, even with medication. While I made the decision that I would put my dog to sleep, I kept wavering and kept postponing the date. I feel like it’s too soon, yet whenever I see her breathing and panting so hard, I keep crying to see her having such a hard time.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Elvy,
I am sorry your senior girl’s health is declining and you are facing these difficult decisions about her quality of life. I know you don’t want to let go too soon, but I would rather say goodbye one day too early than one day too late and allow unnecessary suffering. It worries me that your girl is having so much trouble breathing that her tongue is turning blue. Air hunger is a very real and tragic symptom of worsening heart disease. I will attach links to other articles with more information and advice. Hoping you can find what you need to make the best choice for you and your sweet girl. Praying for clarity and strength to face what lies ahead. Bless you both.
1. Using a Quality of Life Scale for Dogs
2. Signs of a Dog Dying of Heart Failure
3. How Will You Know When It’s Time to Euthanize Your Dog? 5 Caring, Heartfelt Messages
Jack's Nic says
Thank you for this article. My 13 year old border collie cross “Jack” has severe CCD and unfortunately we’ve hit the point where I had to make that hard decision. I’ve had him since he was 8 weeks old and to see the mental decline the last few years has been awful. The medications have quit working and its time. It feels so much harder because physically he’s healthy, but he’s not him anymore. The grief already is terrible but I’m trying to not feel guilty and approach this as more of an act of grace as your article mentions.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Jack’s Nic,
I am sorry your senior guy is struggling with mental disease and understand how hard it is to choose to say goodbye. You are allowing your own heart to break so your beloved pup doesn’t have to suffer needlessly. I cannot think of a greater act of selfless love than that. When the time comes, I hope Jack’s passing will be smooth and peaceful. Praying for your strength and comfort. Bless you and your sweet boy.
Laurie says
Hello to all. We are in the difficult moments that preceed having to let go of one of our four beagles, Tommy. All four are from the same litter and we feel blessed to have had 14 years, and four months with him so far. He has an enlarged heart and has gone from eagerly taking his two daily pills to spitting them out or refusing them. A couple days ago his eating pattern has changed to picky. We’ve raised and kept (not bred) beagles for around 35 years now and have a lot of urns here to prove it, but we always wonder if it is their teeth giving them trouble instead of them telling us they are done. Last vet appointment was six weeks ago and they stated his teeth were fine. Two weeks later I sent them a pic of the inside of his mouth and he clearly had a bad abcess. They gave us an antibiotic and that was that. I have hated myself for euthanizing my pet family without ever knowing the answer to that question. My other concern is, as I am sure many other pets have experienced, Tommy has become hard of hearing. He can hear when we yell or his siblings bark. I am the type of person who does want to say some things to him when his time comes, but worries that he won’t hear them. Do you have any suggestions like a temporary doggie hearing device or ANYTHING? I would appreciate any help you could give us. Unfortunately these may be my last dogs because despite the many I’ve lost in my life, it seems like it’s getting harder to lose them. I’m not sure why but maybe it has something to do with the fact that since I got a severe staph infection that ate up my spine resulting in surgery and unbearable pain for the last 12 years, I’ve only left home maybe 3 or 4 times a year for doctors appointments. This means that I have clocked in a ton of hours with these last four. They are my babies that have been there for me, but grief is eating me up even well before I know time has come.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Laurie,
I am sorry Tommy’s health is beginning to decline and you are facing this emotional decision about his quality of life. I am not aware of a hearing device that is available but am certain your presence and comforting touch will convey the message of love you wish to leave with your boy. Of all the ways we show love to others, our speech is probably the least important. As you spend these last days together, I pray they will be filled with joy. Wishing you both comfort and peace. Bless you and yours.
Kerry says
Needed this today. My 16 yr old dog Dragon has dementia, been urinating everywhere and just recently seems to have lost most mobility with his hind legs. The vet says in his opinion he’s just “existing” when I asked what he thought of his quality of life, and while we have the dog on meds for the moment to see if anything improves, he’s prepared us that it’s likely “time”. I’m not dealing with this very well…. But while him being in a daze and having to clean up after him or keeping him in diapers is no good, the sight of him struggling to walk/dragging his hind leg and carrying him a lot has me emotionally destroyed, wondering if a doggie wheelchair would be a good idea, etc. Anything….but…that.
I love the guy and just cant seem to say goodbye.
Thanks for this article….. it helps a lot putting in perspective!!!
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Kerry,
My heart goes out to you as you face this difficult decision for your senior guy. I know you would do anything to keep him by your side but letting go may be the only way to give your sweet boy peace and freedom from his struggles. It is ok to let go before all joy is lost and the only thing that remains is pain. I would rather say goodbye one day too early than one day too late and allow unnecessary suffering. Praying for strength and comfort as you walk this emotional path. Bless you and Dragon.
Jessica says
Thank you so much for this article. I have read it no less than 10 times. Our 15 year old pittie, Madison, has had arthritis and mobility issues for years, but now no medication is enough (unless it is 4-5 gabapentin a day). And signs that some cancer has decided to diligently spread and causing GI issues. For anyone reading this wondering if the sleepless nights, whines, listlessness, loss of mobility is enough, please talk to your vet. They are excellent guides and know your dog well and should be good listeners enough to help you know when discomfort is no longer manageable.
Thank you to everyone who shared their story. It makes this gut wrenching choice less lonely. My family is shattered. She is my soul mate.
Our doctor helped us by teaching us how to use the upped amount of pain medication this week so we can have the best week ever. It’s made her more like herself, and more apt to rest (she whines & has issues laying down due to discomfort), but it’s made this week all the harder because we are seeing how our girl used to be.
I’m so grateful we get to make a loving choice versus an emergent choice. She doesn’t have to cry if we misjudge her medication time. Or the times she has fallen when we aren’t immediately there to help her.
I am shattered. I am so grateful for all the kind words. I’m grateful we can set them free. I just also so deeply wish they could be with us in the flesh forever.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Jessica,
My heart aches for you as you grieve the loss of your beloved Madison. What a blessing you were able to give her such a wonderful week and ensure her passing was peaceful. I can only imagine how much you miss her. It is clear she was a huge part of your lives. May her memory stay with you always and bring you joy. Wishing you brighter days ahead as you continue life’s journey. ♥
Jen says
We have made the sad decision to have our senior dog euthanized this coming Saturday. We do not know his true age. He is a Lab/Pit mix that we adopted 6 years ago from the shelter. He was already pretty old at that point. He used to be so vibrant and full of life. As he got older, he developed Hip Dysplasia and arthritis. He has been on medication for several years to help, but it seems as though his mobility has declined even worse the past couple months. He has trouble getting up and down, is very restless and pants quite a bit. All he does is sleep and eat. He no longer enjoys playing or walks, or can jump up on the couch or bed. He has to wear belly bands as he leaks urine constantly when walking. This has been a tough decision, but came down to the fact of his quality of life. We also do not want him to get to a point of not being able to stand at all and become more anxious. Even though we know this is best for him, it doesn’t help the fact that we are giving him his death sentence. He is deaf and has been ever since we have had him so he won’t be able to hear us. We don’t want his last memories to be of pain and anxiety, We just hope we are doing what is best.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Jen,
My heart aches for you with the recent loss of your senior pup. I understand how difficult it is to say goodbye but from what you describe, this was definitely a selfless act of love. You did the only thing you could to give your sweet boy rest and freedom from his struggles. I hope his passing was smooth and peaceful. Thank you for sharing your story with us. Wishing you brighter days ahead and may the memories of the good times you shared continue to be a blessing in your life.
maria rubi says
Due to severe allergies, we had to make the difficult decision to have our puppy euthanized. It was a heartbreaking choice, but ultimately necessary for their well-being. For my self-healing am going to buy a new puppy from Petzlover.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Maria,
I am so sorry for the loss of your pup. I understand how emotional it can be to have to choose to say goodbye. I hope the new puppy will help to heal your broken heart. Wishing you brighter days ahead. Bless you. ♥
Jean says
I am saddened and comforted by the articles you’ve provided on this subject and by the fellow commenters. I see guilt is common. We are scheduled for an in home euthanasia later this afternoon and I’m up in the middle of the night writing this with pregret, guilt, and fear that we’re letting our girl go too soon. This is my first time going through this and it is truly heartbreaking. Clover was initially diagnosed with late stage, high grade lymphoma that was later determined to be an aggressive leukemia. Even with intense treatment, the cancer may not go into remission and if it does, it’s likely to return in 2-4 mos. Her exact age is unknown as she was a rescue, but she’s likely somewhere between 12.5 and 13.5. Her first symptoms were trouble breathing and loss of appetite and for a dog that danced with joy for every meal, we knew something was wrong. We were shocked to learn that she has masses in her chest, abdomen, spleen, and liver. She was given 4-6 weeks with no treatment but we started her on Prednisone and did a round of Elspar. Initially there was great improvement. But here we are only 3 weeks from the initial diagnosis with a euthanasia scheduled and I just can’t wrap my head around how we got here so fast. It’s hard to imagine what it will be like without her tomorrow night. She still seems to have life in her, but every week her white blood cell count goes down and the doctors say if she weren’t compensating in other ways, she would’ve already needed a blood transfusion based on her lab values. Her anemia is severe. She’s tired and can’t jump on her favorite spots to sleep anymore. Just a few weeks ago she ran around the yard with glee and now she slowly walks and wants to go back inside. It’s so hard because it all happened so fast. We thought we had more time. She’s still there even if she’s not the same. She still wants all the yummy food I’ve been making her and she still follows us from room to room. I know it makes sense to let her go before it gets worse and the evidence is there that it will get worse. We gave her the best weekend and we still have some more hours together tomorrow but I just cried a river knowing that tonight was her final goodnight routine. I have strong urges to delay the procedure. She’s just always with us and I’m not ready to say goodbye. I know I never will be though and I’m trying to see this through Clover’s needs, not ours. I just wish it was easier to know when it was time. It’s just so sad. I’m going to miss her so much. I keep thinking of all the “lasts” that we’re having with her and it’s so painful. Thank you for providing this space to share our story.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Jean,
I am so sorry for your loss of Clover. I can only imagine how much she will be missed but am glad you were able to offer her a peaceful goodbye. May the memories of all the good times you shared continue to be a blessing in your life. Wishing you comfort for your heart and brighter days ahead. ♥
Avery says
We’re putting my 13 yo dog, Bailey, down on Sunday. She has an aggressive cancer and cannot balance herself and will not eat and is very lethargic. We were told that even if we were able to do chemo, it would only give her a few more months and then she would deteriorate again,
I really thought I would have more time with her and that she would live till 15.
We’ve decided to put her down soon because wage only has a few days left and soon she will have trouble breathing.
I feel like euthanasia seems wrong bc it’s like we’re signing her death contract, but we don’t want her to get to the stage where she cannot breathe.
Will miss you so much baybay. Luv u
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Avery,
My heart goes out to you as you prepare to say goodbye to your beloved Bailey. I know you would do anything to spend more time with her, but it sounds like offering peace and freedom from her struggles is the most loving option. I pray her passing will be smooth and that your presence will be a comfort in her final moments. Wishing you strength as you walk this emotional path. Bless you and your sweet girl. ♥
Christine M says
Thank you so much for this article. I have to put my beautiful, sweet, goofy, funny, loving, argumentative Susie (Bindi Sue) down this coming Monday (July 15th) and I have done nothing but cry and felt the guilt. She’s 14 and I feel like I have taken advantage of her time with me; that I will do “this” or “that” with her tomorrow and I ran out of tomorrow’s. I should have made every day a special day with her and I didn’t. Bindi Sue is my emotional support dog from a near fatal car accident from 13 years ago and I feel like I won’t survive after losing her. I live alone and after she’s gone, I will be alone and I don’t know how to cope with that. I know she’s suffering and in pain and to keep her around for myself is selfish and I am not a selfish person. She comes into the office with me every day while I attend classes; sleeps on her bed and snores so loud that I can hear it through my headset. And to know that when I come back into the office and she won’t be here, feels like a burning knife in my heart. I’ve leaned on her so much and she will be gone. Her hips are done and she has that look in her eyes like she’s telling me it’s time. She can barely walk and since she hurt herself just this past Monday (which I think pushed her over the edge), I have to use a towel to support her back end so she can go potty. I am disabled from the accident and it’s hard on me to keep up with her and to be able to hold her up and at times she potties laying down in the grass. I have to bend down to help her pick up her back end and put the support towel under her to help her up and back into the house. This isn’t her….she’s always been so independent. And yet, as I am typing this out to you, I am beginning to see that she doesn’t want to be this way. Then, I turn around and starting uncontrollably crying again…..like I am bipolar. I have so many emotions running through me, i don’t know which one to rely on and even lean on. These next couple of days are going to be the worst rollercoaster ride ever and I am terrified of rollercoasters to begin with. I’ve been spending a lot of time with her and taking videos of her playing with her favorite squeaky tennis ball and her talking to me like she does. Letting her hear happy tones in my voice and trying not to let her see me cry or be so upset.
I am sorry that I wrote so much and yet as I look back at it, I can’t believe how many times I referred to myself and how many times I mentioned Bindi’s name. I guess she has the easy part in all of this…..she gets to be set free and I don’t want the last thing she sees when she looks at my face is tears. I want to be smiling and talking to her and telling her how much I love her and that her sister Chloe ( my Malinois/Collie mix who i lost to cancer on the 29th of March this year), will be waiting for her to take her across the bridge and show her the ropes.
Thanks for the ideas about the chocolate. She loves McDonald’s cheeseburgers so I think I will get her one and a chocolate shake to help it go down.Her birthday isn’t until September so it will come early. Just to let you know about Susie, she was a rescue dog from 4-PAWS in Manhattan Kansas. My daughter thought Fin a pit bull would be ideal for me and she took a pic of him but in the background of Fin, was Susie. I immediately fell in love with her when they brought her out to my house while I was still in the wheelchair from the accident and she ran the backyard like she owned it. I never looked at another dog. I feel like I won’t survive without her. How do I cope with that when she helped me cope for so long?
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Christine,
My heart aches for you as you spend these final days with your beloved Bindi Sue. She sounds like an amazing pup. The kind you only know once in a lifetime. I am not sure the hole in your heart will ever be filled, but I do know the grief gets easier and fades with time. Try to make the most of the time you are gifted and spoil your girl rotten. I hope she really enjoys her cheeseburger and chocolate shake. ♥ Praying for your strength and comfort on Monday and that her passing will be peaceful and smooth. Feel free to reach back out for support as often as you like. We are all here for you. Bless you friend. ♥
Grieving the Loss of a Dog After Euthanasia (& Finding Peace)
Colleen Busche says
Thank you for this article,
Even though I have gone through this once 15 years ago, every goodbye is different. Today I made the appointment to euthanize Reagan. He’s 16 years old and even though a part of me knows this is the right thing to do, as I was on the phone I just wanted to scream, “HELP ME, I CANT DO THIS!” Today is Tuesday and we will say goodbye on Friday. Thanks to your article I plan to celebrate my crazy boy in these last days. I will make this the best I can for my dear friend. A part of me is struggling because somewhere in me I feel it’s wrong to put out the light that is my dog. I don’t feel worthy of choosing the moment he leaves this earth. I know I’m giving him a gift by ending his suffering and it’s not right to want him to stay when he can’t hold himself up on this back legs and he falls down because his front legs are knuckling.. The toe grips weee a godsend and they are helping my other dog who is now 14.
I already made and cancelled this appointment once. I know I need to follow through so we can do it at home and not in an emergency situation. The selfish part of me was wishing he would pass on his own.
I’m going to try to handle this with grace but inside I am still screaming.
Please keep us in your prayers.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Colleen,
My heart aches for you as you face this impossibly difficult decision for Reagan. It is clear he is dearly loved, and I am certain he knows how much he means to you. What a blessing you will get to ensure these last days are filled with joy and happiness. Praying for your strength and comfort. Bless you and your sweet boy. ♥
Megan Franks says
Dr. Buzby,
I just wanted to give you a big thank you for all your advice and articles and a big big thanks to your kind words!!! You’ve helped me so much with my boy Spunky and me!!! IVDD IS DEVASTATING AND HEARTBREAKING!! I hope I never have to see an animal die from this disease again in my lifetime!!! I’m so sorry for anyone that is going through this!!!
Thank you again Dr.
I’ll let you know what happens on Tuesday!!
😓🙏🏻
Julie Hunter says
Hi, my Snowy boy is 17.4 years is deaf, going blind and has dementia along with bad arthritis. I have struggled so much watching him decline, for months I have been on a roller coaster of is it time.
He is still so driven by good, and honestly it’s the only thing that makes him light up. Even a visit from my daughter and best girlfriend who he loves doesn’t excite him.
He just roams around and around and constantly gets stuck in places. It’s heartbreaking to watch.
I have booked in to have home put to rest on Monday, even still I agonise am I doing the right thing? So a massive thankyou for this article and for all the comments.
At nearly midnight here in Australia I think I can sleep peacefully knowing I’m doing the right thing🥺🥺🥺🥺
Dr. Julie Buzby says
Hi Julie,
It is so heartbreaking to watch a beloved dog decline mentally and physically. So sorry that you are currently navigating that difficult path with Snowy. From what you have said, I think that you are making the right choice to say goodbye to him on Monday. I hope that your remaining time together is sweet and that you can continue to find peace and comfort in knowing you are making the kindest and most loving choice for him that you can.
I do also have two other blogs that you may find helpful and comforting:
1) Dementia in Dogs: When to Euthanize Your Beloved Senior Dog
2) When to Euthanize a Dog With Arthritis: A Vet’s Heartfelt Advice
Sending much love! ❤️
Athens Atlanta says
HELLO EVERYONE
Deb says
Thank you so much for this article! We recently had to say goodbye to our beautiful Skye…a rescue Golden from Turkey. We were told she needed dental work, and then found out she actually had cancer and had days to live. She was only 7 or 8 years old, and we expected to have her presence with us for many more years…
But thanks in part to your article, and the the amazing fortune of finding a good end-of-life vet, her departure was peaceful – she was surrounded by all of us who loved her, outside in the backyard on a warm spring day, on her bed with her favourite toys…
It’s been almost 6 weeks – i can hardly believe that – and I haven’t yet had a single day where I haven’t cried. The grief is so big and so real, and so often discounted as ‘only a dog’. But they are so woven into the fabric of each day – every moment of every day..
So thank you for your article and your compassion – we need more people like you!!
Gratefully,
Deb
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Deb,
My heart aches for you with your recent loss of Skye. I am glad you were able to make her last day a happy one and am certain your presence was a comfort. Thank you for the kind words and for sharing Skye’s story with us. As time passes, I hope the grief will fade and your heart can begin to heal. Wishing you all the best and praying for brighter days ahead. ♥
Chad Newman says
We will be putting my 12 year old pug Sully to sleep this afternoon. My heart aches as the clock ticks on. He’s been such a good boy but recently due to heart failure can hardly walk and falls over so much. He’s stopped eating and drinking. I will miss this little dude so much but I know he doesn’t have much of a life anymore. I’ll never forget my good boy Sully and the 12 years of joy he brought me and my wife and I hope and pray we gave him the best life we could with the time he was with us.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Chad,
My heart goes out to you with your recent loss of Sully. I hope his passing was smooth and peaceful. Praying for healing and comfort as you walk through this grieving process. Bless you and your wife. ♥
Sarah J says
This article was what I needed tonight. We are fighting with the decision as to when the “right time” would be to put to rest our border collie. She’s 10, but been in several fights and ongoing severe anxiety/overstimulation/jealousy/reactivity. We’ve tried meds and training in the past 9 years but her attacks on another dog in the home are becoming harder to cope with. She’s otherwise healthy which makes the decision that much harder. If we’re able to make it as comfortable as possible, it may help. We’re torn between when to make the call as the last thing we want is to lose two dogs because of a fight…this sucks so bad.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Sarah,
My heart aches for you as you face this impossibly tough decision for your girl. I wish I had some great advice or could tell you what is best. You have to trust your intuition as you know your pup and this situation better than anyone. I tend to err on the side of caution and not offer much grace when it comes to aggressive tendances. What a blessing your girl has not focused her anger toward the people in the household yet. I worry about what her reaction would be with an unexpected interaction with a child. I am sorry the situation is forcing you to make these emotional decisions. Praying for clarity and strength as you navigate this difficult path. Bless you and your family.
Shaun says
Thank you for this post! It helps.
Tomorrow my parents will be saying good bye to their amazing 15 year old yorkiepoo. He’s really a part of the family and had such amazing energy up til just a few weeks ago. Then, it’s been like a light switch went off and his usual self just faded away.
It’s funny in a way. I think the older he got the more we forgot that this moment would come. We commented to each other tonight that it started to seem like he’d “outlive us all.”
There’s guilt associated with not fighting more. But after so many appointments and medications, all to no avail, there’s a point when it’s time to “call it.” There’s no right answer, just a gut instinct.
Thank you for shedding light on the unknown for tomorrow. I’m scared for me and our little guy. But I take solace in knowing he’ll be waiting for us someday along the rainbow bridge. .
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Shaun,
I am sorry for the loss of your beloved pup. I agree, when it comes to this decision you just have to trust your intuition since you know your boy better than anyone else. Hoping his passing was peaceful and wishing you comfort as you face each new day. Bless you and your family.
Lisa says
Thank you so much for this very informative- and compassionate – article.
I gave my babygrrrl. (8yo female Pit, OSA of maxilla – way caudal and inoperative) her wings via Lap of Love 5 weeks ago. I feel very fortunate in that I seemed to have timed it just right. TBH her oral mass sort of made the decision for us: it had been entirely excised when the incisional biopsy was performed 6 weeks prior, and was already larger than before, and growing exponentially. She was perfect in terms of her demeaner, her appetite, her energy- everything- but all I could think was that any day she’d be unable to eat or that she’d go blind in one eye (it had invaded her orbital floor) or had unmanageable pain and that we’d end up in some emergency clinic at 3am with her in acute distress. So we made the appointment with Lap of Love.
As you’d mentioned, our only real defense against this horrible diagnosis is to live each moment to the fullest, which we did both before and after her diagnosis. I feel like I had to break my own heart in order to do right by her, that’s ok. She never knew a single second of suffering and after this seemingly bottomless pain subsides, I hope to find solace in that. Thanks again. You’ve helped me more than you know.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Lisa,
I am sorry for the loss of your beloved pup but what a blessing you were able to give her a loving and peaceful goodbye. I am glad she didn’t have to suffer and only knew joy and happiness in her life. Thank you for being willing to share her story with us. Praying for comfort and healing. Best wishes to you and yours.
Barbara Paschall says
You are so right when you said you had to break your own heart to do what was right by her.
Stephanie O'Donnell says
Hi, so tomorrow we have to put my family’s beloved rottweiler judge.. this has been an unimaginable heart break for myself and family. he just turned 8 this month and we were told last month that he has progressed osteosarcoma in his leg and that he had a month to live😭 the vet said that his leg will likely break and that’s when it will all be over. we made the decision to have him put to rest tomorrow evening at 5:30. this news of his cancer threw us all for a loop. I just got married Friday and I thank God every day that he was able to live long enough for this decision to be made after the wedding. even though it’s impossible no matter when it happens. Judge is my little baby, he’s my ball of sunshine and this is even harder because he is still himself. I always thought when this day would come that he’d be old and very and it be his time. not out of no where like this,. he can’t use his right leg and I noticed yesterday that his back leg was starting to give a little bit to. I don’t know how to cope with this. Judge has been my whole world, he’s my rock. when we first got him he changed my life. I’m a better person for having gotten to know and love him. I’ve had many dogs in my life but he is the one that changed me for the better and even cured my anxiety all those years ago. I owe everything to him. My heart is completely broken and I want to be in the room tomorrow when it happens but idk If I can handle it but I know I have to be there for him in this moment because he was there for me everytime I needed him and when I needed him most, and now he needs me to be strong for him. we decided because it wouldn’t be right to let this get to the point where he suffered and God forbid his leg breaks when we’re at work and has to lay there. that wouldn’t be fair and I honestly would never forgive myself if he ever had to endure that. I need help. he’s my beautiful baby boy and idk how I’m gonna recover from this. my mom, dad and fiance will be there and I’m also upset that it will happen at the vet because laps for live is too expensive for us to afford… how do I cope with this I’ve been a wreck this whole month but I try to remind myself that my life has been blessed for getting to love him and watch him grow. he has forever changed my life in the best of ways and I can’t wrap my head around him being gone, even more so cause his life has been shortened by this horrible disease and it all just seems so unfair. I don’t know what to do or how to be strong for him during this,. he’s the same judge he’s always been but he can’t run and play anymore because he’s leg could snap…. how do I cope with this. I know he knows how much I love him but how do I deal with this heartache
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Stephanie,
My heart aches for you with the loss of your beloved Judge. The pain of saying goodbye is such a heavy burden, but it was the only way to free Judge from his suffering. I wish I could spare you from the grief but that would mean never having loved a dog to the deepest parts of your heart. And the absence of that kind of love is far worse than the grief after letting go. I hope with time your heart can begin to heal. May his memory stay with you always and continue to be a blessing in your life. Wishing you brighter days ahead as you continue life’s journey. Congratulations on your new marriage. I wish you both the best. ♥
Debbi Necaster says
Today I had to make the most hardest decision of my life. Ruger has been my constant for 13 yrs. But Cushings won and I feel I’ve could of done more. In reality, I did what I was able to do. In order to make this decision, I started reading articles in Google and came upon Dr. Buzby’s articles, I knew that when I got home today, I needed to set my best boy free. I won’t lie, I’ve gotten angry, I’ve cried my eyes out, I’ve gone through every memory I have of him and felt selfish because I didn’t know what I’d do without him. I took a deep look into his eyes, and he told me that it’s for the best, he wasn’t going to get better and it was time to let him be at peace. My boy. He’s a master at making everything ok. Thank you Dr for being forthright and very insightful with the most honest information a pet parent could ever have to help ease the deepest pain us humans feel for our fur babies. You’re a good soul that loves animals.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Debbie,
I am sorry for your loss of Ruger. I understand how heartbreaking it can be to have to make a choice to say goodbye to a beloved pup. That is the curse that comes with the blessing of loving a dog with your whole heart. I am glad you were able to have 13 years together as I’m sure you have tons of wonderful memories. I hope Ruger’s passing was peaceful and smooth. May his memory stay with you always and bring you joy. ♥
Alida says
Dear Julie, thank you for this article, and comment section. I think we find ourselves amongst kindred spirits here, people who deeply loved a dog. We are making this difficult decision right now. Sophie, our beautiful 6year old Orange Roan Cocker Spaniel have been diagnosed with Lymphoma stage 4 in this week. We had to immediately let her go or choose Chemo (9months added) . She had her 1st round yesterday. She already went irreversably blind just before diagnosis. But today her eyes are filled with fluid and very very painful. We said we’ll give the chemo a bit of time, but started approaching peace. Our connection is so strong. I’m a work at home artist with her always by my side, the sweetest, brightest most loving dog, and really the one everyone comes home to. Can’t imagine her light gone. But we said that the moment we see her suffer, it’s time to say goodbye. Thank you that I can spill a bit here.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Alida,
I am sorry Sophie has received this difficult diagnosis and her days are limited. There is no greater gift than to love a dog with your whole heart and ensuring they have a peaceful goodbye is just as important as giving them a happy life. I am glad you are monitoring Sophie’s quality of life and will offer her peace when the time comes. Make the most of the time you are gifted and spoil her rotten. Wishing you all comfort and strength. Bless you and your sweet girl. ♥
Madison Bargas says
Today I had to make the choice to put down my 12 year old pug, Sophie. We got her as a family dog when I was 15 and a few years ago my stepmom passed, and I inherited Sophie myself. She was diagnosed with glaucoma in one eye and was on eye drops for a while but she needed eye removal. Her other eye then had a lens luxation and filled with blood. I couldn’t put her through another surgery and she was already in so much pain, so I took her in this morning and held her as she went to sleep. She has been by my side constantly, I brought her to work, to school, everywhere. I am in so much pain from this decision and am constantly wondering if I made the right call. I know I made the right call, it’s just hard to feel it when grief overcomes me.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Madison,
My heart aches for you with all the loss you have endured over the past few years. I am sorry you had to say goodbye to Sophie but what a blessing you were able to offer her a peaceful passing. I am certain she knew how much you loved her and that your presence was a comfort in her final moments. I hope with time your heart can begin to heal and the grief will fade. May Sophie’s memory stay with you always and be a source of joy in your life. ♥
Lisy says
I’m having my 10 year old Jack Russell Cross Chihuahua put down tomorrow afternoon. He was the runt of the litter and when I took him to the vets to get registered as a pup, they told me due to his health issues, he’d probably make it to about 6 years old – so very pleased he made it another 4 years past the estimated time! He was such a loving, happy, (and definitely cheeky) boy. He was my 21st birthday present, but turned into my baby dog and number 1 best boy. He was diagnosed with really bad arthritis in November 2023 due to pancreatitis and managed to feel himself again after that passed. He has been on medication daily since then… and the vet said he’d be on this for the rest of his life. But unfortunately since this weekend, he doesn’t engage as much anymore, he doesn’t really wag his tail anymore, doesn’t get excited when I come home, nor does he bark when the doorbell rings (used to be our doorbell before anybody even pressed it). I think I knew it would be time soon, and was just waiting for all the right signs before I made the decision. I never realised how hard this would be, especially when I was prepping for it last year, so didn’t think it would be that bad. But these past couple of days, I can’t help but burst out crying. Sleep tight my little man, I hope you’re not in pain and enjoying dog heaven with all your favourite foods and toys. Forever my first born and best dog ever ❤️
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Lisy,
My heart aches for you with the recent loss of your beloved boy. I know you would have done anything to give him more time, but you made a loving and selfless decision to offer him peace and freedom from his struggles. I hope his passing was smooth and he was comforted by your presence. May his memory stay with you always and continue to be a blessing in your life. ♥
Lisa says
I’m struggling with our 15 yr old – “sweet old man” named Buster. He was diagnosed with TCC on his bladder 5 weeks ago. A week after his diagnosis our otherwise healthy 6yr old pup Ramsey suddenly went down fast on Saturday morning March 17th. I got him to the ER vet in less than an hour but by then he could barely walk, his heart rate was 70 and could barely be heard. We don’t know what could have happened and it’s heart breaking. He started to have diarrhea all at once, a high fever of 103.7, he couldn’t stand up without wobbling, couldn’t keep his head up. He didn’t respond to the bolus of fluids, so we did one more. Still did not respond. We gave cerenia shot for nausea, antibiotic shot for possible infection or sepsis, antihistamine for possible allergic reaction. No change. The ER was so busy that day (God bless those people!). By the evening he started with blood coming from his nose. He was still stable with his low heart rate and would lift his head up to acknowledge you if you came near and pet him through his oxygen chamber. Our last resort was to test for hemophilia and blood clotting. Came back borderline so we we did a blood transfusion. In the end it didn’t work. We went home while they watched him (we have four human kids and Buster was home with his new cancer diagnosis) and just after midnight we got the call that he had passed. I have so much guilt over this. We tried everything possible because in our minds he was so young and goofy and childlike. This dog literally was like a toddler! I wish I had made the decision to euthanize as soon as he did not respond to the fluids. We ended up using a med to bring his heart rate up which accelerated the now what we believe was internal bleeding hence the blood through his nose and the blood in the trach during the recessitation attempt. I haven’t slept a night since that night. Now we are deciding when to let our 15yr old pass. His cancer spread to his prostate a month after his initial diagnosis of bladder cancer. He’s tired, will only eat human food and only eating at all because he’s on a cerenia daily. He circles in our bed at night multiple times. Extends his neck out and has some irregular breathing. He pants during the day if he takes stairs or just randomly. He drools a little every morning and afternoon. I’m afraid if we wait any longer to euthanize him that he too will experience a tragic situation like Ramsey. This is so so hard. My logic tells me to let him go now when he can still enjoy walks and is still eating to avoid any future pain with this fatal disease. Do you have any advice on either Ramsey or Buster? Also Ramsey’s chest xray showed fluid or a mass in his right lung that we did not know about. But he never let us pick him up, ever. And he was was our respiratory kid even with all vacs. He also would get out of breath on walks sometimes and I figured it was just hot but he should have been able to go longer than he did. Thank you for reading this lonnnnnng comment.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Lisa,
I am so sorry for your tragic loss of Ramsey and this difficult decision you are facing for Buster. I know you want to give Buster as much time as possible. It is clear he is dearly loved. I would rather say goodbye one day too early than one day too late and allow unnecessary suffering. It is ok to let go while there is still some joy, before all happiness is lost and the only thing that remains is pain. I will attach links to other articles with more information and great advice from other readers about how to know when it is time. As far as the circumstances surrounding Ramsey’s passing, I too am at a loss. I am not sure what the cause could have been. I am suspicious about hemangiosarcoma because of the bleeding but some of the symptoms just don’t fit well. You may never know for sure, but I hope you can find comfort in the fact that you acted quickly and got him the medical attention he needed. I am sure the staff was with him in his final moments and were offering love and support. I pray your family can remain strong as you face emotional days ahead. Bless you all. ♥
1. Using a Quality of Life Scale for Dogs
2. Bladder Cancer in Dogs: A Guide to Transitional Cell Carcinoma (TCC)
3. How Will You Know When It’s Time to Euthanize Your Dog? 5 Caring, Heartfelt Messages
4. Dog Euthanasia: Knowing When to Say Goodbye
Christine says
Thank you so very much, Dr Buzby, for these several posts relating to euthanasia, and for the great compassion you show throughout for senior dogs and their families. I especially appreciate your quality of life assessment, which I’ve found quite helpful as my husband and I approach the day to say goodbye to our rat terrier Owl. He is at least 18 yrs old and has had a magical life until the last year when arthritis has really ravaged him. I’m past ready to let him go, as I believe those long, soulful looks into my eyes are saying he’s ready. My husband doesn’t see how miserable he must surely be, though. His experience with suffering and mine have been very different. We did 3 QOL assessments separately, and yours came closest to my estimation, though all were close and we both ended with quite similar scores. Sadly, he seems to want to keep waiting, and our boy will suffer most. I’d say to anyone wrestling with this, if you think it may be time, it most likely is. Don’t wait until your dog is in misery. He deserves better, and you will have less regret.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Christine,
My heart aches for you as you face this difficult situation with your senior pup and your husband. I agree with your statements about letting go sooner rather than later. I am glad you found the articles to be informative and helpful. I just wish I could offer something more or relieve a bit of your stress. Praying for your strength and comfort as you continue to navigate this emotional path. Bless you and your sweet Owl.
Dwayne says
Struggling even with the decision my puppy is only 4 years old and hasn’t been himself since he all of a sudden start having seizures. Medicine controlled if for a little while but now he is not stable on his feet, He doesn’t interact and he is a shell of himself.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Dwayne,
I am sorry you are facing this difficult decision for your young dog. I know you would do anything to give him more time, but sometimes saying goodbye is the most loving option and only way to offer a beloved pup freedom from their struggles. Hoping you can find the advice you need to make the best choice for everyone involved. Praying for clarity and strength as you navigate this emotional path ahead.
Jennifer Verbeck says
We are preparing to let our 11yr old, olde English bulldog go here soon. I have come to terms with it myself but our 15 yr old daughter is having such a hard time at the thought of it. She was 4 when we got her. Their birthdays are a day apart. I have just been trying to find resources for her to read to make this easier for her. Thanks for putting this website together. ❤️🐾Tundra Sue is our dog’s name.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Jennifer,
My heart aches for you as you navigate this emotional situation with your daughter and Tundra Sue. I pray for your strength and for clarity in how to proceed. Wishing you all peace and comfort. ♥
Dan says
We’re waiting here now for the vet to come. Our sweet boy Elvis has had such a decline over the past 6 months. This is so much herder than I ever thought it would be. He has his best day ever yesterday, and he has neen allowed to bring his favorite stick in today. This article is wonderful. Thank you for the post.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Dan,
I am so sorry you had to say goodbye to Elvis this morning. What a blessing he was able to experience so much joy in the last couple of days (I love that he had a favorite stick ♥). May his memory live on and always bring a smile to your face.
Danica Marinac-Dabic says
Our sweet pug Louie was diagnosed with Hemangiosarcoma last Friday…… with multiple tumors in his liver, spleen,, kidneys and lungs.. He acts normally, eats well, sleeps well and this breaks our hearts even more.. We will enjoy every moment we can posaibly have with sweet Louie. and your blog helps so much to try to be prepared and to share the sadness and love during these most difficult times.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Danica,
I am so sorry Louie has received this devastating diagnosis. My thoughts are with you as you face some difficult days ahead. Praying you can make the most of the time you are gifted and ensure your sweet boy is happy and comfortable. Wishing you strength and peace. Bless you and Louie. ♥
Daniel says
We recently lost our beloved Shih-Tzu Monkey after battling lymphoma more than 4 1/2 years. (What a fighter!)
I wish we would have seen this before his euthanasia, as we didn’t know about the chocolate treat and thought it was just a weird thing to suggest at such a time that was so painful to us.
I would add to the list to get photos of the whole family in the last days. Even though we knew it was near, Monkey’s end came rather suddenly and our only regret is that we didn’t get a final portrait together.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Daniel,
I am so sorry for your loss of Monkey. What a blessing you were able to gain over 4 extra years together after her diagnosis! Thank you for sharing the advice about taking pictures with family. I am sure that will be very helpful to others as they face the final days with their beloved dogs. May your sadness be replaced with comfort as you think back on fond memories. Praying for healing and peace for you and your family.
Kelly E Rice says
I am so glad I found this article. on Thursday we will be sending my Bailey boy to doggie heaven. he is an almost 15 year old Maltese/shih tzu but has really declined in the last 6 months. He either sleeps all the time, or the extreme opposite of constantly barking. this is breaking my heart but I know it is time. I am now worried about my ava girl. she is 10 and has been around Bailey her whole life. my heart is breaking….but thank you for all of the information and the tips of forbidden foods and pictures etc …
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Kelly,
My heart goes out to you with the recent loss of your beloved Bailey. I am glad the article gave you some ideas on how to make his last days special. I hope Ava will adjust to this change as smoothly as possible, but she will need some time to grieve as well. Some dogs don’t show much difference after the loss of a housemate, while others can take it very hard. Here is a link to another article with more information: Do Dogs Grieve? Helping Your Dog Cope With Loss
Praying for comfort and healing for your heart. May Bailey’s memory be with you always and continue to be a blessing in your life.
Sarah Schuberth says
I wish I would have been able to read this before my dogs euth. He stopped being able to walk all the sudden and I was afraid he was in kidney failure. It was a really bad snowstorm and his original vet closed so I had to take him to the emergency vet. I feel like I just rushed him out the door and I didn’t get any time to spend with him in the morning and he was really confused about what was going on. He had to be carried, but walked into the emergency vet a little. Back legs giving out.. He was a 10 year old, 100 pound German Shepherd, and when we got there They had to have three people hold him down in order to give him the sedation injection. She tried to place the catheter several times and he was crying in pain. Then they tried to put a muzzle on him and it was too small and he was running around the room freaking out. His last moments were not peaceful and I was really sad. We were there for 90 minutes. When they finally injected him,as he was crying in pain, l The sedation injection kicked in within 30 seconds and he was on the floor snoring really loud and seeming like he was having trouble breathing. I yelled for the doctor to please come in and just give him the euthanasia injection because I was worried he was having trouble breathing. It was not a good experience and I’m having a really hard time with it. I don’t know how often this happens. 😢
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Sarah,
I am so incredibly sorry for your loss. I wish things had been different and my heart is heavy knowing how terrible this experience was for you and your boy. Please know that after the sedation took effect, your boy was no longer scared and was at peace. Even with the ongoing chaos I am certain your presence was a comfort and that he knew how much you loved him. I hope with time the grief will begin to fade and you can take comfort in knowing you gave your big guy a wonderful life. May his memory live on and be a blessing to you. Wishing you healing and peace.
natalie says
i found this page after putting my dog down a few hours ago. awake after midnight and feeling guilty and pretty sad. i know my dear vet explained things to me but i was in such a haze i couldn’t process it all at once. i wasn’t expecting the sedative to hit so hard so fast, like the story you told above. it felt like both my boy and i were caught off guard because he dimmed out before i knew what was happening. i was shocked and just kept telling him he was a good boy until the doctor said his heart stopped. maybe less than 20 seconds. i feel a lot better knowing that even if i missed giving him his peanut butter (still feel sad about that) it was the instant relief he needed, and he heard me telling him how good he is. he’ll always be a good boy. i did try to sneak him a little taste before it was too late. hopefully he found it over the rainbow bridge. thank you for this post. it has brought me comfort.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Natalie,
I am so sorry for the loss of your beloved boy. What a blessing his passing was so smooth and peaceful. I am glad you were with him and know your presence was a comfort. I am praying for healing for your heart. May his memory be with you always and bring you joy.
Stephanie Galarza says
My Lupe is 15 years old and I remember the first day I saw her and I adopted her like it was yesterday. I have never had the experience of putting to sleep one of my dogs since all have them have died in there sleep. This has been the most confusing times and most difficult thing I would ever have to do tomorrow and I don’t know with what strength I would be able to do this, My Lupe has cognitive dysfunction , she is not aware anymore of her surroundings and always is in a acute state of anxiety and crying every time she wakes up from a nap. She does not recognize me or any family members and recently has lost appetite , has been incontinent while sleeping and has been experience involuntary movement and head movements ( seizures) while asleep. i have been debating with my self if to put her to sleep, I feel guilty , I feel that I am killing her and I really feel I might regret it afterwards. i am praying to God for direction and also for some peace because I don’t want to see her suffering the way she is. This article gave me some peace in the matter , this has been the worst weeks of my life and praying that I would be at peace and her without any pain.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Stephanie,
My heart aches for you as you face this emotional decision for Lupe. Sometimes saying goodbye is the only way to offer a beloved pup the peace and rest they deserve. I know you would do anything to give your sweet girl more time if her quality of life was still good. But it definitely sounds like she is struggling and only you can make the selfless decision to let go and give her freedom. My thoughts are with you, and I pray for your strength and comfort. Bless you and your sweet girl. ♥
Toni says
My Lulu, a beautiful 15 year old cream golden. I was blessed that i was given her when she was 9.. Her hind legs are giving out, she is blind, deaf and has dementia. We have come to the point where there are more bad days than good hours/minutes. Most of the time she doesn’t know where she is, she uses walls to walk, she will defecate while she is lying down and doesn’t realize, has fallen often- and if we are not home stuck until we get home, I had to stop her from walking over a stone wall- basically its now a rapid decline. We have an appointment to send her over the rainbow bridge in 2 days. My heart is broken. I have sobbed over each of these stories and what I am now facing. It feels wrong making the decision to end the life of a pup that I love so much. Today i looked at a video from 2 years ago where her tail is wagging, she’s playing and actually smiling. She does none of this anymore. She has lost the joy of life. I am just so grateful that this beautiful dog brought so much joy into my life. Her memory will live on with me and my family until the end of time. Thank you for the article and thank you for allowing me a place to express how i am feeling.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Toni,
My heart goes out to you as you grieve the loss of your beloved Lulu. What a blessing you were able to offer her a wonderful life and a peaceful goodbye. Thank you for sharing your story with us. May Lulu’s memory bring joy to your days, and I wish you all the best as you continue life’s journey. ♥
Sam Harrison says
Thank you for writing this. It made such a difference recently when navigating the heartbreaking decision on behalf of our 14.5 Border Collie, Drift.
Having his blanket, teddy and high value treats after the best day of paddling in our local river and mummy and daddy cuddles just made him so happy and settled on his last day.
Our vets and team were amazing too – Drift made so many friends everywhere he went and the outpouring of love and grief is comforting.
Thank you again – words can’t express how impactful this article was x
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Sam,
I am sorry for your loss of Drift. He sounds like an amazing boy, and it is clear he was dearly loved. May his memory live on and continue to be a blessing in your life. Wishing you comfort and peace as you continue life’s journey.
Amy Keaten says
Thank you! We are preparing to let my 16 year old dachshund go. His health has not been the best over the past 6 months, diagnosed with sick sinus and kidney failure, now cataracts and some dementia. After some weight loss and now showing some more concerning signs, we may be letting him go in the next few days. Even though you prepare you are never really prepared. We will be giving him the best days with all his favorite things!
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Amy,
My heart goes out to you as you face this emotional decision for your senior boy. I think it is great you are planning some special things for him over the next few days. Make the most of each day you are gifted. Hoping his passing will be smooth and peaceful. ♥
Lauren says
Struggling with creating the “best last day”. That may be today. She’s dealing with kidney issues, cancer, cognitive dysfunction, mobility issues etc. And isn’t present or interested in food or normal activities. I took her to our favorite outdoor park last week and she just paced around, so I don’t think she’d enjoy that today. This is so hard
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Lauren,
I am so sorry your pup is in her final days. I know you want to make things special and right now that might be just spending time holding your girl and making sure she is comfortable. She is very lucky to have you taking such good care of her and being so attentive to her feelings. Wishing you both peace. Bless you and your sweet girl. ♥
Stacey S says
My 12yo goldendoodle, Ruby, was diagnosed with a meningioma (brain tumor). She started having seizures in August and an MRI in October confirmed the diagnosis and was told 3-6 mos avg quality of life. (Grateful I had pet insurance!) Meanwhile, as the disease progresses I’ve started making arrangements for in-home euthanasia because Ruby is SO anxious leaving the house, especially at the vet. I’ve also arranged for some of her favorite people to come by and visit with her now while she is in relatively good shape (although she is social for about 5 mins before she wants to lay down). Her seizures have increased in frequency (sometimes 3 in two days and then nothing for a couple weeks) and they vary in presentation (from full body shivers to the typical seizure with paddling, foaming, etc). Other than the seizures, her wobbliness from the meds and her lethargy, she still excitedly barks at visitors, runs after a toy, loves to shred paper, actually runs to the kitchen if I mention the word “chicken”, and eats and drinks as normal. (More so, since she is on prednisone.) She is my first dog and only child. My heart is broken. I am not ready to “pull the trigger” yet. I raised her myself with support from my Mom, who is very attached to her. I worry that we will wait too long and that she will have a seizure that will require us to bring her in to the hospital and we’ve lost our ability for her peaceful home hospice and bridge crossing. The waiting for the “right time”, knowing it’s only going to get worse, is so hard. In the meantime, we love on her as much as she will allow us. Thanks for the article and for all the comments it invited. Grace and peace for all. Thanks.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Stacey,
I am sorry Ruby’s health is declining and she is nearing the end of her life. I understand how difficult it can be to decide when to say goodbye. The plans you have in place to allow her final moments to be at home surrounded by those she loves most sound ideal. I hope it comes to pass just as you wish. Praying for you and your mother as you navigate this emotional path. Wishing you comfort and peace. ♥
Stefania says
Hi Stacey,
I read you story and I really feel you – my Cara, a female Cane Corso 9,5 years old, has also a brain tumor and is on prendisolone among other drugs. What you describe is exactly the same for us regarding her behavior and condition, which makes it oh so difficult to make the decision, the only difference is that she had only a small seizure. You are not alone, and I am happy I am not also. 💜🙏
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Stefania,
My heart goes out to you as you navigate this difficult path. Wishing you comfort and peace. Bless you and your sweet Cara.
Stacey S says
Hi Stefania – Thank you for the kind and validating response. Sorry I didn’t respond sooner. Also sorry about your pup’s similar situation. I hope Cara’s seizures have lessened or remain small. Tip: We recently discovered that placing a light blanket over her when she is paddling seems to settle her. (The first blanket we tried a couple times was too light. The medium was still light, just not weighty at all. It had more substance to it.) Every dog is different, and it may not work or be appropriate every time, but more often than not it has helped us. We have “set the date” for Ruby – 2/26/24.. I’m gutted but getting used to the idea. Mom is still in denial. Would be great to stay connected. DM me if you’d like. Sending light and love to you and Cara.
Stephanie says
i stumbled across your page as I was trying to find some ways to help with the horrible pain I am in. On Friday afternoon, my 14 yr old golden will be put down. I’m an absolute wreck at the idea of not having Nugget around to greet me when i come home to come looking for me after she has been outside, no toys around, the cats not trying to eat her food… everything! This isn’t my first time, but she’s my oldest and the absolute best dog! My heart is shattered, but I know I can’t selfishly avoid this and allow her to suffer. Im going to take her favorite toy and some chocolate for her to enjoy as her last treat. Thank you for sharing!
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Stephanie,
I am so sorry for your loss of Nugget. I hope her passing was peaceful and she found joy in her last moments. I am certain your presence was a comfort, and she knew how much she was loved. May her memory live on and be a blessing in your life. ♥
Codi Tennent says
I’ve been gone for some time, but now I remember why I used to love this site. Thank you, I will try and check back more frequently. How frequently do you update your blog?
Julie Buzby DVM says
Hi Codi,
Thank you for the positive feedback about the site! New articles are published 2 to 3 times each week.
Connor says
My dog Kirby is 12 started having issues in June and that’s when I learned she has a failing heart. She seemed to be doing fine until about 2 months ago, and since then she has been declining so fast. The part that angers me is that she is losing all her fur and is constantly itching. She clearly has a low quality of life from it and barely moves anymore. Kirby has been my best friend and I don’t remember much without her by my side. Everything I’ve done lately has been in sadness, I can’t do anything without thinking of her. I’m always told to keep loving on her and to not think about the end, but I can’t not think about it. I am devastated to lose her, but I know she is ready to go. I’m not a very religious person but it’s people and dogs like her that make me hope heaven really is real.
I’ll always love you kirby❤️
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Connor,
I am sorry Kirby’s health is failing and she is nearing the end of her days. It is clear you love her dearly and she has been an important part of your life. I pray her passing will be smooth and peaceful. Wishing you strength to continue forward and comfort for your heart. ♥
Chris F says
My wife and I are preparing for an emotional road ahead as we prepare to say goodbye to our wonderful baby Dakota. She is a 10 year old Husky and the absolute sweetest best friend I have ever had! I’m tearing up as I write this. She has recently been diagnosed with nasal adenocarcinoma, a malignant tumor in her nasal cavity. It’s already blocked one side of her nose and is causing her trouble breathing. I know what to expect. We’ve had to euthanize one of our Malamutes years ago shortly after we got Dakota. My wife however has a very hard time with it. She says it is murder and feels all the guilt. All the unknowns you mentioned in this article is what she feels and I don’t know how to make her realize that it is the most important gift we can give, even though the loss we go through is agonizing. I pray she does not suffer silently in the coming weeks/months, however long she has remaining.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Chris,
I am so sorry you are facing this difficult situation with Dakota. I know what an emotional decision this can be and understand why your wife is struggling. I will attach links to other articles with more information and great comments from other readers. Maybe you will find something that will be exactly what your wife needs to hear to put her mind at ease. Praying for comfort for sweet Dakota and wishing you strength and peace.
1. In-Home Dog Euthanasia: Heartfelt Answers to 12 FAQs
2. Grieving the Loss of a Dog After Euthanasia (& Finding Peace)
3. Dog Euthanasia: Knowing When to Say Goodbye
4. How Will You Know When It’s Time to Euthanize Your Dog? 5 Caring, Heartfelt Messages
5. Dog Hospice Care Can Bring Peace and Dignity to Your Dog’s Final Days
Louise laukhuff says
I am saying goodbye to Sasha, after 13 years of live and joy. My heart is breaking for me, but she will feel so much better. It will be Wed 12/ 20.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Louise,
I am sorry you will be saying a final goodbye to your beloved Sasha this upcoming Wednesday. Praying her passing will be smooth and peaceful. Wishing you strength and comfort for the days ahead. ♥
Julia says
Thank you so much for this article. Our 7yr old mini schnauzer was diagnosed with Mega Esophagus and struggling so much. She was just recently diagnosed with IBD as well and her quality of life is rapidly diminishing and so heartbreaking for us. We’ve tried everything, but I have tremendous guilt about whether I actually did enough for her and if we’re giving up too soon. Your article was very helpful about what to expect. Thank you!
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Julia,
I can understand why you are conflicted and am sorry you are facing such a difficult decision. I am glad the article was helpful and offered you comfort. Wishing you clarity and peace as you make a way forward. Bless you and your sweet girl.
Jean says
I have just lost my darling eleven year old whippet Lucy,on New Year’s Day, I took her to the emergency vets out of hours appointment at 8am after phoning the surgery. Little Lucy a kind loving little whippet . She walked into the vets and was greeted by a vet who promptly took her off of me, lifting her up swiftly, and said someone would contact me in about 2 hours. I went home and waited they phoned early afternoon saying they would do an ultrasound and that she had perked up since being on the drip, she was very dehydrated. I waited until late afternoon when they phoned to say that she was very ill and that I should come to see her as she wouldn’t last much longer. When I got there she was laying in a crate completely out of it, still on the drip. One of the Vet Now vets said she had a tumour on her spleen and that she should be put to rest. After going into a lot of details. I agreed broken hearted. I knelt by her stroking her telling what a good girl she was. I just can’t get over it, I’m 79 yrs . Old.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Jean,
I am so sorry for your tragic loss of Lucy. What a blessing you were able to be with her during her final moments. I am certain your presence was a comfort and that she knew how much you loved her. I can only imagine how much you miss her. It is amazing how deeply the love of a dog can penetrate out lives. Praying for comfort and peace as you continue life’s journey. Bless you. ♥
Michelle says
Thank you so much for this article.
My little French Bulldog Bella is my heart and everything! She is 12 years old.
In 2020 she lost her sight … in beginning of 2022 she started soiling and suffering incontenice …. Come back to a house of mess every time go out. She struggles to walk with her back legs giving in and drags them but can get around … lost some hearing.
After two years of contemplating … athe vet says not best quality of life but up to me … the worst decision to make. I’m crying non stop. I made an appointment for next Monday. I don’t know if making right decision … I’m devastated and full of guilt if too soon. I just don’t know what to do. I love her so much!
She is so special and has accomplished so much in her life being a tv and commercial star!
I can’t stop crying! She still eats and seems okay but struggles with walking and soiling
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Michelle,
I am so sorry you are facing this difficult decision for Bella. I know you would do whatever it takes to give her more time, but sometimes saying goodbye is the most loving option and it may be the only way to offer her freedom from her struggles. I know Monday will bring very strong emotions. I pray Bella’s passing will be smooth and peaceful. Wishing you strength and comfort for the days ahead. ♥
Louise laukhuff says
I am in the same position and my dog has the same condition and issues yours had. I totally get it and have been bawling all morning.
jesse babico says
My dog of 8 years Biggie was diagnosed with Hemangiosarcoma. Biggie had surgery last week to remove his left kidney, spleen, and softball size tumor.
Biggie is my first dog that I have owned, has been through it all with me in these past 8 years.
After reading about Hemangiosarcoma, the future is very short, yet Biggie’s energy and signs of lift beg to differ. I am giving him Yunnan Baiyao, turkey tail, and other herbal supplements to help on any preventive hopes of any kind of healthy, happy longevity.
I pray that Biggie lives longer than what everything is saying, and I pray that he most importantly is not in any sort of pain at all..
Biggie has been the biggest blessing to me, but also all of my family and friends throughout these years…I cannot believe that this is even happening, and I am being strong for him since he was so strong for me.
My prayers forever are with Biggie, and every other dog owner going through these tough stages of our dogs lives.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Jesse,
I am sorry Biggie has received this devastating diagnosis. What a blessing the surgery was able to give him a better quality of life and restore his energy and joy. Make the most of the time you are gifted. Enjoy each day and go make some wonderful memories. Wishing you both comfort and peace. Bless you and your sweet boy.
Thea-Marie says
Hi
Thanks so much for your article. And a lot of the comments have helped me ease my guilt. I read another article with the quote “rather a month too early than a day too late”. This is our second time doing this with a senior dog. Our almost 10 year old Basset, Watson. It’s been a weird ride owning a Basset after only ever having Terriers. I’ve been struggling with guilt, having made the decision. Even though I know he hasn’t been really living for the past 6 months. I kept telling myself he’s always been lazy, but now I can’t deny the weight and hair loss anymore. He’s just doing the basics. Sleeping, bathroom activities, drinking and eating. That’s it. He doesn’t play or run anymore. His barely notices his pack anymore.
I just want to thank you for this article.
Love from South Africa
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Thea-Marie,
My heart goes out to you as you make this emotional decision for Watson. Allowing your own heart to break so your sweet boy can find rest is the ultimate act of selfless love. Praying his passing will be smooth and peaceful. Wishing you comfort and strength. ♥
Kathy says
Our lil’ fella Ozzie (chihuahua) has stage 4 arthritis. He can’t walk or stand anymore. He stopped playing with his beloved Joe Otter months ago. We feed him while he is laying down in his bed and he won’t drink water, so we give him chicken broth which he barely drinks. He now cries at night while we are watching tv on the couch because he just wants to go to our bed where he feels most comfortable and safe. He’s still so loving and he enjoys being snuggled gently.. As I write this I’m realizing we have to do this (put him to sleep) but I feel so guilty.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Kathy,
My heart aches for you as you face this emotional decision for Ozzie. Praying for your strength and peace as you face the days ahead. Bless you and your sweet boy.
Dianna says
Wow, I wish I had found this article before our appointment.
Our euthanasia appointment felt like such a betrayal.
We did choose to do an in-office appointment, because Link was extremely anxious and had stranger danger fear and aggression, especially as his neurological condition deteriorated. He loved his vet and their office. He was never anxious there. I thought I prepared and did everything right. I spoke to the vet many times because we knew we wanted a necropsy due to his rare illness. I never asked specific details about the euthanasia itself, though, because I assumed they would handle it with respect and comfort in mind.
The entire experience, from the beginning, was horrible for both Link and my husband and myself. We originally had a regular appointment scheduled, but we realized his deterioration, and called the vet the day before to change it to Euthanasia. I then even called the morning of because we were still on the fence about maybe doing in home, but they told us none of the in-home vets were available, so we told them that we would definitely be there for the in-office appointment for euthanasia, then.
When I arrived, I had to stand in the packed lobby, sobbing, for well over 5 minutes. I noticed the little candle they have for euthanasias, asking people to be quiet when lit, wasn’t lit. When I was finally greeted, the receptionist asked me chipperly “you’re here for bloodwork?” Me, still sobbing: “No, we are here to put Link to sleep.” It was so hard and painful to utter those words in that moment. I should have left right then. I should have realized how underprepared they were. But I was too scared of having to endure this pain again. I waited in the car, and they brought us in the back, as they always do, because of his dog reactivity. Instead of leading us to the exam room, though, I was shocked to see a towel and syringes laying on the table in the middle of the room. This wide open room, people are passing in and out of. The surgery room, where dog kennels are stacked on the wall, and full of dogs. Right beside my dog reactive dog who we are about to have euthanized.
The worst part, though, was the process itself. The veterinarian pushed the euthanasia solution before I even had a chance to lower Link to the ground from the sedation. She declared that his heart had stopped just seconds later, before I had even had a moment to utter a word to him. I never even got to say goodbye.
Then, despite all of my calls, and arrangements, they made my husband handle the worst part of preparing for the necropsy. They didn’t put Link in a body bag, and my husband had to pour ice over his lifeless body himself. Driving two hours with him in our car was heartbreaking enough, but this just added so much more pain.
I have an immense amount of respect for veterinarians and I can’t imagine how painful this part of the job is, but I’m so very disappointed in how this went. I honestly thought that I might have just perceived things wrong, due to the stress, but my husband is a physician, and watched directly as she did the injections. There was no time between the first and the second.
I appreciate this thoughtful article, and I will make sure to share it with anyone I know who is facing this.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Diana,
This absolutely breaks my heart. I just have no words. I wish I could go back and change this experience for you but know that is not possible. Even though things did not go as you or I would have hoped, I am comforted knowing your boy did not suffer and feel certain your presence was a comfort to him in his final moments. Thank you for being willing to share your experience here. It may save someone else from a similar situation and give them the knowledge and confidence to advocate for different choices and circumstances. It is clear Link was well loved and I have no doubt he knew. I hope with time your heart will heal and you can focus on all the good times you shared. May his legacy live on and be a blessing in your life. ♥
KC says
My cocker spaniel was pts monday 6th November 2023 – it was an awful experience, nothing like what was promised. My dog had CCD and whether this contributed to it, I’m unsure but think the vet should have taken it into consideration.
We were advised he would be sedated before the IV was inserted but when they turned up at our house and explained it all, they said that sedating would mean the vein would be difficult to find and anyway the IV insertion will be straightforward., he will hardly feel anything.
Well the look of distress and pleading for it to stop in my dog’s eyes as the vet attempted to insert the catheter is something that will haunt me to my dying day. Botched attempts in one leg and then the vet finally gave him a sedative in his rump but I didn’t think he waited long enough for ity to take effect before trying the other leg as the response was the same// It went in there in the end but again my boy was in such pain..
We spent 13 years caring for him and our last ‘act of love’ to give him peace is now how we remember hist last minutes of life. We felt we had to rush the remainder of the procedure just to give him the peace he deserved.
We failed him in his last moments and we will bear the scars of that for the rest of our lives.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear KC,
My heart breaks for you with this tragic experience you have endured. I wish I could take these memories away and replace them with comfort, but I know that will only come with time. Please know that after the medication finally took effect, your boy was no longer afraid or feeling any pain. I am certain he knew how much you loved him and that your presence was a comfort in his final moments. I pray for healing and peace for your heart. May his memory bring joy to your days and continue to be a blessing in your life. ♥
Daniel Kemp says
Hi Julie,
My dog Cameron is 15 years old and he suffers from Sundown Dementia, which makes him very anxious in the evenings. Physically he’s fine, and he still gets excited about going out for a walk and getting a treat, however he no longer wants to sit or lay with us like he used to.
During he evening he just walks about the house in circles and makes hi-pitched anxious noises.
Unfortunately, the way he is at the moment is causing issues between my wife and myself.
My wife just doesn’t have the patience to handle Cameron in the evenings, and sometimes neither do I. It’s causing us to have arguments and a strain on our relationship.
I know that putting a pet to sleep is about easing their pain and suffering and I feel so selfish for even thinking about it, but there are times when I think I should just say goodbye now before he gets worse, but also because it would end the arguments and tension.
Do you have any advice or has anyone else come to you with the same issue?
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Daniel,
I am so sorry you are in this difficult situation with Cameron. Yes, there are countless others dealing with this exact same issue and feeling much like you and your wife. You are definitely not alone and your concerns about the quality of life for EVERYONE involved are valid. The most important thing for a dog is the human-animal bond. Unfortunately, dementia alone can break this bond and then when you add in the frustration of becoming a caretaker it often suffers greatly. I know you would never choose euthanasia out of convenience, but that is not at all how I see your situation. Cameron is struggling daily with confusion, anxiety, and restlessness. I honestly think the suffering caused by mental disease is just as bad (if not worse) as physical disease. It is ok to say goodbye while there is still some joy left instead of waiting till all happiness is gone and the only thing that remains is suffering and pain. We focus on giving them a great life and can forget that a peaceful goodbye is just as important. I will attach links to other articles with many comments from other readers just like yourself. I hope you will find the advice and guidance you need to make a decision with which you can be at peace. Praying for your strength and comfort as you navigate this emotional path. Bless you all. ♥
1. Using a Quality of Life Scale for Dogs
2. Dementia in Dogs: When to Euthanize Your Beloved Senior Dog
3. How Will You Know When It’s Time to Euthanize Your Dog? 5 Caring, Heartfelt Messages
Maddie says
Julie & Daniel, this was an incredibly helpful article and response to read. My family has made the very difficult decision to put our sweet 16 year old Brady to sleep in a couple weeks. Like Cameron, he too gets excited for treats and even still has zoomies, but he paces in circles, limps on walks, and frequently has accidents in the middle of the night. I no longer live at home, so this has all come down on my parents and been very difficult for them. I have felt a sense of frustration and guilt as it seemed that my parents came to this decision to ease their lives. Although I am heartbroken, I can now see that maybe it really is better to let him go before he experiences any more pain. Thank you. ❤️
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Maddie,
My heart goes out to you as you face this emotional decision for Brady. I know the idea of saying goodbye is painful, but it may be the only way to offer your sweet boy freedom from his struggles. Praying for your strength and comfort and wishing you peace. ♥
Rachel N. says
I’m reading this with tears in my eyes, and waiting for my girl’s emergency appointment with her vet in the morning. My American Eskimo, Sheena, turned 15 in September and I knew I would only have so much longer. She’s been pacing a lot at night in the past 6 months, and getting anxious. She has been stumbling more and more recently, and today when I got home from work she could hardly walk. She’s favoring a back leg, and while I hope it’s a simple thing to remedy, I’m steeling myself and trying to remain realistic. I’ve let go my other 2 seniors in the past 2 years, one just this past May, and my vet and I have an agreement that I’m not interested in prolonging my babies’ lives just because the end is hard. I know at her age there’s only so much that can be done, even for ‘simple’ things. Even then, the guilt and wondering if I’m not trying hard enough is there. I know grief has a funny habit of lying to us in this way, so I try to be mindful. But I think of my sweet girl Sheena, when I rescued her at 5 weeks old, and how I could hold her in both hands she was so small. And I just fall apart.
Dr. Julie Buzby says
Hi Rachel,
My heart breaks for you and for the pain you are experiencing. Losing a beloved dog who has been part of your life for the past 15 years is so difficult. You are making the most loving and merciful choice for her that you can—the choice to set her free from her failing body. I hope that you were able to have a peaceful goodbye yesterday and that you can find some comfort in knowing what a wonderful life she had with you. ❤️
Ariana says
This site has been incredibly helpful as I’ve been faced with the agonizing decision to let my elderly dogs go, three times in the last 2 years.
To be honest, I’ve not had the smoothest experience with the euthanasia process and I have so much pain and guilt from it.
I just let go of my 15 year old pug Rosie on 11/30. She was unable to do anything on her own anymore, and the day I made the decision, she couldn’t even sit herself upright. She seemed dizzy all week, another bout with vestibular symptoms. Rosie was blind, making those symptoms so much harder to deal with. She was eating laying down that day. She didn’t even seem to be excited over food (chicken nuggets) her favorite… 😔
I didn’t want her to suffer. I took her to a vet in hopes maybe there was something else they could do. Her body was just so tired.
She seemed to be at peace at the vet’s office – almost like she was surrendering. She didn’t love the vet, so that was maybe a cue from her that she was ready. The vet didn’t think there was anything else they could do, so I knew what I had to do.
Where I am struggling most is how the procedure happened this time. She was not administered a sedative, just given the euthanasia drug in her abdomen. They didn’t want to poke around her arm over concerns that would be painful because she was dehydrated. Everything I’m reading says that euthanasia drug hurts or burns going in. It took her what felt like a few minutes to drift off…she sat up at first and looked scared for a moment before relaxing. Did she suffer? Did she hurt when the drug went in? Were her last moments scary and painful?
She was in my arms the whole time. I never left her side, telling her she could let go now and how much I love her. I just wanted her to be at peace and not hurt anymore – these last few years have been hard for her health-wise. I am so scared that I caused my sweet girl pain and suffering in her final moments. I’m devastated.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Ariana,
It is clear that you love Rosie very much, and always did the best for her, even in the middle of difficult end-of-life decisions. It is really tough to see our pets in pain. You saw that she was struggling, and knew it was kind to set her free. She was lucky to have you caring for her! As far as the procedure itself, there are many different ways to peacefully help a dog pass. Each vet has preferences, and each pet’s illness may require different choices. Sometimes a vet will place an IV catheter, while other times that would be too stressful. Sometimes the pet needs sedation or pain medication first. But every situation is different, and I’m sure Rosie’s vet made the decisions they did with her best interests in mind, and based on how she looked and what her body was going through at that time. When euthanasia medication is given under the skin, it can sting, but giving the medication in the abdomen (IP) is different than under the skin, so it may not have caused any discomfort. When we give sedation, sometimes it can sting too, but only for a brief moment before the meds start to kick in. If sedation isn’t given as the first step, Euthanasia medication causes sedation first, then deep anesthesia, followed by passing in that deep sleep. I imagine that if Rosie had a funny look on her face, she was likely feeling the beginning effects of the sedation. This can happen when sedation is given under the skin as well. The most important thing is that you were there with Rosie, so your smell and your presence brought her comfort as the medication started to take effect. Dogs are good at sensing our intentions, and I’m sure Rosie knew you were taking care of her in the best way possible. I hope that this helps a bit, and that your heart finds peace and comfort, even on the difficult days. Bless you. ♥
Alistair says
Daniel, I am so sorry you and your family are facing this. I found this article this morning for this same reason. Our wonderful Westie Ian has had dementia for years but still enjoyed (and sometimes still enjoys) life. But he is getting more confused, paces more and more, sometimes for hours each night even with sedation. I am already doing all dog feeding, medications, and urine cleanup since I work from home. This morning Ian is having some diarrhea, and needed his bed cleaned and a bath. My partner and I started yelling at each other, he was late to work because he stayed to help with the bathing. And he is angry that I want to let Ian go before he is visibly physically hurting, while he still enjoys treats and rubs. He is deaf and mostly blind, but he still knows our smell and touch. I also feel guilty, especially for being so frustrated. I’m not mad at Ian, I love him so much, but it’s terrible to hear him crash around at night. My partner says it would be easier if he was clearly physically suffering. I wish clarity and comfort for all of us.
Dr. Julie Buzby says
Hi Alistair,
Dementia can certainly take a large toll on our dogs, and on their caretakers too. All the cleaning up, medications, lack of sleep, etc can get to be a lot, and it isn’t unusual for frustrations to mount. It doesn’t mean that you or your partner love Ian any less or resent him for the results of his disease. It is just hard sometimes, and those feelings are natural. Caretaker fatigue in dog owners is real, and it is a topic that my friend Dr. Woodruff is going to be addressing on the blog soon. All this to say, you are not alone in how you feel, and it is nothing to be ashamed of or feel guilty for.
In terms of the right timing for euthanasia, it is a personal decision and one that is important to be unified on. Yes, like your partner said, it is sometimes easier to make that decision when you can see the physical suffering. But mental suffering from dementia is suffering too, and it can significantly impact a dog’s quality of life even if the dog isn’t painful. I’ll include a link to an article that addresses the timing of euthanasia for dogs with dementia more specifically. Hopefully it will help give you the clarity you and your partner are seeking.
Thinking about you as you make these tough decisions.
Here is that link:
Dementia in Dogs: When to Euthanize Your Beloved Senior Dog
Ari says
Thank you for this article. We just had to let our sweet jack russell of 15 years go 4 days ago and I’m trying to let go of the doubt and “what ifs”. We were on vacation and he was staying with our in laws. The morning on the day we were returning, he fell off the bench he was napping on and injured his spine rendering him paralyzed. They brought him to the emergency vet where they administered methodone to manage his pain and gave him an anti inflammatory that would last 24 hours, and he was able to go home with them with gabapentin so we could meet him at their home. He was so anxious and in pain. He already had a heart condition that he took meds for and his kidneys were not in the best shape so we were limited with what we could do for him. We were told a surgery for his spine would cost between $8000-$12000 and he wasn’t likely to survive it based on his age and heart condition. We held him for the next 2 days giving him gabapentin to try and manage his pain while we came to the acceptance that we had no choice but to let him go. It was the most painful thing we had to do but we couldn’t let him suffer anymore. He had a special last day where he ate an epic meal and spent time outside being held and walked around to enjoy the sunshine. Then we brought him in and he was sedated to take him out of pain so that he could fall asleep slowly in my arms while we kissed him and told him how much we loved him. He was the most special dog to me and I will always love him. Rest in peace Pthalo until I see you again.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Ari,
My heart aches for you with your recent loss of Pthalo. What a terrible tragic accident! I am so sorry for how things developed but what a blessing your sweet boy was with family who took such good care of him till you could make it back home. I definitely think you made the right call in offering him peace and rest instead of pursuing surgery. It sounds like his passing was smooth and I am certain your presence was a comfort. May his memory live on and bring you joy as you continue life’s journey. Hoping with time your heart will heal. Bless you. ♥
Alina Evans says
This is an excellent article and very empathetic.
My amazing dog, Moxie, lived to be almost 17. I had a traveling hospice care vet treating her the last year and a half of her life. I was privileged to be able to do so. Moxie seemed to have degenerative disc disease and was in a lot of pain. She then began to lose her vision and hearing and was circling at night and getting scared. Periodically, though she zoomed around the yard, even the day before her death from kidney failure. She also enjoyed being with me.
She ended up taking Meloxicam, Gabapentin, and CBD oil. I was able to give her accupuncture and heat treatments for pain, and some IV fluids. I carried around at times, but have a large flat backyard. She lost about 7 pounds in the end but gradually.
She left on a beautiful, sunny June day on my back screened-in porch with the trees gently blowing in the wind. I talked to her and sang to her on her large Tempurpedic bed. I thanked her and told her she was all done and that she had done a good job. I was looking into her eyes and singing the little song I made up about her and had sung for over 16 years.
One tear appeared in her eye – the one facing me. The vet said that she could not explain it because it was not from the medication and Moxie had no fluid left. She told me just to take it as her saying goodbye. I was so surprised.
This wonderful dog comforted me in so many ways as I adopted a child from Russia who could be violent. Also, she was a big presence. She appeared to be mostly Sky Terrier. She was a gorgeous white and appricot dog who had a big personality and was silly, loyal, loving, fun, engaging, loving, and fierce. Everything I aspire to be. We have many Moxie things – I have a ring and pillows with her face on it and so much more. She was wonderful. Everyone found her to be amazing and unique. People knew I would be devastated so I received many cards, flowers, and gifts.
I found another rescue dog, Willow, who lived outside for over four years under bad conditions. Moxie was found roaming the streets and had been shot five times. Willow is so loving and cuddly – she is part Border Collie and she holds hands, sits on me, cuddles, and is so attuned to me that she comes to reassure me every time I cough. I tell her that Moxie made a place for her. I have had Willow for three years now and I can still cry about Moxie.
Dogs are all love and are amazing creatures that we have the privilege to escort through life.
I will always have a dog now no matter the pain of each loss. I recently turned 60 and my dog is my best friend, and I have a wonderful job at a global think tank to end my career and do media work, write, speak, interact with famous people, and travel but home with my dog is the best place to be.
Thank you for the work that you do.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Alina,
This is such a beautiful story of Moxie’s life. Thank you for sharing her legacy with us. There is absolutely nothing that compares to the love of a dog. I am glad you have Willow by your side as you continue life’s journey. Wishing you all the best for many happy years ahead. Bless you both. ♥
Keanan Smith says
Hi. Thank you for this article, it doesn’t make the task any easier but it’s nice to be informed. We are at the final stage of our dogs 14-year life. She has bone cancer in her front shoulder and barely uses that leg at all. Our local vet has given us meds for her pain, but they don’t seem to do much. It’s so hard as dogs don’t show pain the way humans do. I have lost several dogs over my life, but this is my wife’s first dog, and she is beside herself. I love that there are companies that will come to your house to do this as it’s less stress on everyone. Thank you again for this article. Daisy will be missed.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Keanan,
My heart aches for you as you prepare to say goodbye to Daisy. I hope her passing will be smooth and she will find comfort in having those who love her most by her side. Praying for healing and peace for you and your wife. Bless you all. ♥
Kirsty Barnett says
My dogs is 7 yrs 4 months she is being out to sleep tomorrow. She has epilepsy and onset doggy dementia which has lead to self injurious behaviour. I’m wracked with guilt and I keep having people ask me if I’ve exhausted all avenues. I have epilepsy myself and i would like someone to do me the kindness if I lose my faculties, my son also had seizures and 2 brain tumours. I would never approach this lightly after 6yrs of meds not working I feel there’s no other option. I hope she doesn’t hate me and that the rainbow 🌈 bridge does exist. I’ve given her forbidden foods and she’s having a long walk with the dog Walker this afternoon. I want tomorrow to never come but equally come soon so I can properly grieve. I miss her already
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Kirsty,
I am so sorry you had to make this emotional decision for your pup. I cannot think of a more selfless act of love than to allow your own heart to break so your sweet girl could find freedom from her suffering. Wishing you peace for your heart. May the memories of all the good times you shared be a blessing and stay with you always.
Pamela McGinty says
Thank you for this information. I’m sorry for Ann those who have posted about the decision to euthanized their pet. I made that decision last Friday for my my 15 year 7 month old, precious dog. I wish I had given her a sedative orally before we left for the vet. I didn’t like the catheter being put in before she received a sedative, especially since they took to a different room to do it. She was upset to leave me. I was too)
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Pamela,
I am so sorry for the recent loss of your senior girl. May her memory live on and be a blessing in your life. ♥
Kathleen says
Thank you so much for your article! My 10.5 yo GSD/Red Heeler Mix boy has Cushing’s Disease and has been having a harder time getting up the stairs. We used to take daily 3 mile walks but those have proven too long for him. He still loves his booty rubs and mama time. He was the cutest little ball of fur at the rescue as a puppy. He looked like a little fox and I was a goner from then on. My grandson tried to love on him (as a toddler does) and my dog nipped at him and got him in the face requiring 4 stitches. We took him in to euthanize him and were told by our vet that we had to wait two weeks due to it being a dog bite. I am completely heartbroken! I plan on bringing our other dog with us (9.5 yo) so he doesn’t wonder why his brother didn’t come home. This situation sucks!😭😭😭
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Kathleen,
My heart goes out to you with the recent loss of your beloved pup. I hope his passing was peaceful and smooth. Praying your other dog is handling things well and starting to adjust. Wishing you comfort and healing for your heart. May the memories of the good days be a blessing. ♥
Laura Schuler says
On August 2, we had to make the horrible decision to put down our 7.5 year old collie. He was playing in the backyard and collapsed. When we got to him, we noticed his gums were pure white and he was panting. We took him to the ER vet where they said they could not let him go home because he would die. His heart was enlarged and swimming in fluid and his abdomen was full of fluid. They said we could transfer him to a different hospital a half hour away for surgery, but he probably wouldn’t make it through the anesthesia. They said it was likely cancer, but wouldn’t know unless the fluid was drained, but the majority of cases turned out to be a very aggressive cancer. We chose to humanely euthanize him instead of making him suffer, or risking him dying under anesthesia without us there. Now, a month later, I feel so much guilt that we should’ve tried harder because he was so young. I miss him so much and I feel like a part of me died right along with him.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Laura,
My heart aches for you with the tragic loss of your Collie. I know you wanted to give him every chance, but I agree that letting him go was the most loving choice. The cancer the vet suspected (hemangiosarcoma) is nasty and even with surgery only allows a couple months survival time in the best cases. I cannot think of a more selfless act of love than to allow your own heart to break so that your sweet boy could be free from his suffering. May his memory be with you as you continue life’s journey and hoping it is a source of joy and comfort. ♥
Diane says
Two days ago I made the hardest decision I’ve ever had to make.. i thought id have a little more time. a week ago he randomly started to bleed from his mouth so i took him to my vet. i thought he just bit his tongue or he hurt a tooth. he had a mass high up in his gum that i didnt know was there. They did blood work and they were going to do a biopsy a week later. the blood work came back and i was told his kidneys were shutting down. i had no idea. i did notice he drank a little more water recently but its been so hot here I didnt think too much about it.. he seemed to be in pain so I got some meds for him but they weren’t working. I called the vet and let him know that the pain meds weren’t working so the vet wanted to see him right away. they gave him 2 shots. one for pain and an anti inflammatory one. they pushed up his surgery date by 2 days. the day of his surgery to see what was happening. the vet took x-rays and did his biopsy. the vet called and said it was cancer and it spread into his jaw. the vet had me come back amd we decided I wouldn’t wake him up just to put him to sleep. it would be selfish of me to do that to him so I said goodbye to my best friend of 16 years. my bichon Franky. I knew it was time and the kind right thing to do. I’d always want just one more day but his last day here he wasn’t himself. he wouldn’t come to me he would just stare at me. every time he step on something or hurt himself he look at me to help fix it amd I couldn’t fix this. there a huge hole in my heart. I feel so lonely without my best friend. I love you so much Franky and I hope amd pray I get to see you again.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Diane,
My heart aches for you with your tragic loss of Franky. I know that was a very difficult decision to make but it was certainly a loving and selfless choice. I am sure your pup knew how much he meant to you and that your presence during his final days was a comfort. May his memory be with you always and bring you happiness and joy. ♥
Charlie from Ireland says
Thank god for angels like you. I’m trying to prepare for the passing of my 8 years old JRT, he’s a puppy at heart, however he has a tumour on his pituitary glad, he’s had radiation treatment and has done very well for the past 12 months, however the mass is growing again and it’s breaking my heart, he’s the most loving, caring best friend I’ve ever had. He’s doing ok at the moment but the Oncologist has given him 3/6 months survival. So everyday is a special day, bringing him to his happy place with his twin Copper the beach, they have so much fun. He medication slows him down but he does his best and is shears wagging his tail with those living eyes. When this dreaded day comes I know it will be such a sad day for us and cooper but a heavenly release for Jake. He’s such the perfect dog and he doesn’t know he is I’ll, so one day at a time. Once his pain is controlled to the point where he’s gone beyond that he will travel to rainbow bridge from home surrounded by his loving family. ❤️🌈🐶 we are heartbroken to be loosing our beautiful brown eyed baby boy 💕😭 A spark will leave a massive void in our wee family, our Beautiful Jake! 🐾🐶❤️ thank you for your love, care and compassion
Dr. Julie Buzby says
Hi Charlie,
My heart goes out to you. It is clear how special Jake is to you and Copper, and I know he will be greatly missed. It is wonderful that he is still feeling good right now and able to enjoy having fun at the beach. I love your approach to making every day special for him and hope you are able to have many more special days before that dreaded day when you say the final farewell. Thinking about you as you treasure the moments you have with your special boy and do your best to prepare your heart for eventually losing him. ❤️
Kitty says
I’m so thankful for this article and to everyone for sharing their stories. We are faced with this decision. Oreo is my first pet. He was my husbands and I had only been in his life for seven out of his 14 years.
I truly appreciate the advice of one day sooner over over one day later and will carry that with me.
Oreo, our 70lb lab mix, had lost his hearing as well as vision over the last two years. His back legs are weak and we had been carrying him up and down stairs for almost two years. He was crying out in extreme distress yesterday and the vet told us it is neurological. There are tests that could pin point the issue. We have discussed we don’t want him kept at the hospital and surgery is not an option at his age and condition. What quality of life will he still have?
We took him home for palliative care but I question the benefit of this. He still has his appetite, so will will be bringing his favorite off limit foods when the time comes. He is comforted when I’m around so this makes me feel like I’m letting him down. But he looks so scared and confused a lot of the time. The meds is making him even more lethargic. I know this can be prolonged any further. But I’m so heart broken.
I feel blessed to have him in my live and I know deep down this is the right thing to. I just struggle with the when.
Dr. Julie Buzby says
Hi Kitty,
Oreo sounds like such a special dog, and it is clear how much you love him. Deciding when to set a dog free can be so challenging, and there isn’t ever going to be one right moment. Instead, there is a range of times in which euthanasia may be the kindest choice. Some people choose to let their dog go early in that window, knowing that things are only going to get worse, and wanting to skip over those parts. Others prefer to wait a bit and savor the time they have as long as their dog is still comfortable. Both are acceptable decisions.
I hope it becomes clear to you when the right time is to say your final goodbye to Oreo. Thinking about you as you grieve the loss of your sweet boy. ❤️
Kelly E says
Thank you so much for posting this article. I will have to be putting my cat down soon and this helps me a lot!! Honestly had no idea what to expect! We are getting closer every day. The good days are getting less and less. It’s definitely hard to figure out when one should do it. I don’t want her to suffer, but yet it’s hard to let them go! 🙁
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Kelly,
My thoughts are with you as you face the difficult days ahead. Praying you will know when the time is right and that your sweet girl will pass peacefully. Wishing you strength and comfort. Bless you.
Cat says
Thank you for the info on your blog. I found it useful as we have to put our family dog Raffles to sleep tonight. He was with us when we were single, married and through the birth of our four kids. The most loyal and affectionate dog there ever was. His body is riddled with lumps of cancer and he has not eaten in 4 days. I keep thinking that he’s just eaten something that doesn’t agree with him like he often did, but vet x rays have confirmed he won’t survive this. His breathing and energy levels are fading. He is 15 and a bearded collie cross we got as a rescued dog at 18 months. Such a hard and horrid call, but one that is the kindest I hope for him. Thank you for reading this, Completely heartbroken xx
Dr. Julie Buzby says
Hi Cat,
I am so sorry for the loss of Raffles. It sounds like he was very special and supported you through so much of life. Praying for peace and healing for you during this difficult time. ♥
Holly says
Hi Dr. Buzby.
Thank you for this helpful article.
My beloved dog is scheduled to be put down this Saturday evening. She would be turning 16 next month; I’ve had her since I was 7. I grew up with Lilly and barely remember life without her.
She has kidney disease, dementia, arthritis, hearing and vision loss. My husband gave her too many treats a few days ago. She threw up and hasn’t eaten since. She’s been too weak to walk without guidance and collapses often. She can barely get up to use the bathroom.
I don’t resent my husband for giving her the treats. She’s so fragile; if it wasn’t this it would’ve been something else. She sure did enjoy those treats.
My question may be hard to give a complete answer to, but I’m wondering about her mindset in this. I’m as ready ready to let her go as I can be, but I want her to be ready too. I don’t want this to catch her off guard. She’s half toy poodle and half chihuahua, and the latter breed sure kicks in a lot when getting over illnesses. She’s been bulletproof and refuses to give up.
I pray she isn’t fighting too hard this time and expecting this one to pass, because it likely won’t. Even if it does, she won’t return to a healthy, happy and maintainable status.
It’s time. I’ve accepted it, and I want her to accept it too. What can you tell me that could help with this?
Thank you.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Holly,
My heart goes out to you as you face this emotional decision for Lilly. She is a lucky girl to have you taking such good care of her and I applaud you for even considering what she might be thinking during this time. Dogs are amazing creatures. They definitely have feelings and great memories too. But unlike most humans, they live in the present. They are aware of how they feel today, and what is happening today. They don’t think into the future like we do when anticipating next Christmas or next weekend. So, the best way to make sure your girl is content is to fill these final days with happiness and joy. Love on her and spoil her rotten. Hold her and let her sleep wherever she likes. We always think about quality of life, but I think the quality of their passing is just as important if not more so. You are doing the right things and this loving choice you have made will give Lilly the peace and rest she deserves. I am praying for your strength and comfort. Bless you both. ♥
Suzan says
I’m so sorry for your loss of Raffles. Five days ago I put my boy to sleep due to kidney failure. He was fed grapes at 10 months and nearly passed then due to kidney damage. He lived until nearly 13 years old a full and happy life until his kidneys shut down. He literally became lethargic on Monday and by Tuesday he was a very sick boy. After fluids, anti-nausea meds and antibiotics for a UTI that accompanied kidney failure, I took him home for a night to say goodbye and allow my elderly dad to say goodbye to his buddy. Even though I tried to alleviate his suffering, I am gutted. Everywhere and everything reminds me of Hunter. I don’t know why, but I felt embarrassed to sob during and after his euthanasia. I wish I would have come across this article before he went to sleep. I hope you’re navigating life without Raffles despite probably everything reminding you of him. .
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Suzan,
My heart aches for you with your recent loss of Hunter. I know you must miss him terribly but what a blessing to have shared almost 13 years together. You made a selfless choice to offer your sweet boy freedom from his suffering. It is clear he was dearly loved, and I have no doubt he knew. Praying with time your heart will heal. May his memory stay with you always and be a source of joy in your life.
Carla says
We had to get our beloved furry family member, Venus (Jack Russell Terrier) put to sleep on Friday 7th July. it has been the most difficult time of my life and I’m filled with overwhelming sadness. She provided us with 17 years of unconditional love and I regret the decision to put her to sleep. She had never been to the vets before this experience and trusted us with all her heart to make the right decisions for her. My mother was the one pushing for her to be put to sleep because she had her own regrets about delaying this decision about our first dog who was in a lot of pain in his last moments.
My sister and I agreed that if she wasn’t in horrible pain then she had more time to live and we went to the vets hopeful. Unfortunately the first vet suggested she had pyometra and was potentially too old for surgery as the euthanasia COULD kill her anyway. This vet sent us to their other branch for an ultrasound to confirm this diagnosis.
It was confirmed and everything happened so fast. Venus was investigating the many smells and just being her inquisitive self, unaware that we had cried non-stop since departing from our family home and unaware that we were discussing euthanasia as a more likely prognosis.
The second vet confirmed pyometra and didn’t once mention pain but said that she was constantly feeling “sickly and uncomfortable.” This should not have been enough for my mother to rush us to a decision.
We made the decision under pressure in less time than it would take to deliberate what to have for dinner and Venus, having all the trust in the world for us was taken by the vet to be prepped. She trusted us unwaveringly and without question to make the right decisions for her and I’m now riddled with the worst guilt I’ve ever felt. I haven’t stopped crying in days and know I completely made the wrong decision because Venus had open pyometra and whilst it would have progressed to closed pyometra and then progressed rapidly from there, she still could have had a few weeks to be spoilt, to be the centre of our worlds.
17 years of unconditional love and we took 10 minutes to make this life-ending decision.
When we went into the room, Venus had her catheter on her tiny paws (she deplored her paws being touched 😔). We gathered round and my sister held her, unfortunately we could not contain our tears and wept as we spoke to her. We all petted and attempted to reassure her and I told her it would be okay. She kissed us all (which was not something she really did). She had no idea what was going on and was trying to comfort us 🥺.
The vet used the one-injection method and after the first injection, Venus was unphased after 5 minutes and had her head held high just pulling her paw from the vet afterwards (she really did hate her paws being touched 😩). My mother implied she was “fighting” the drug which only hurt more because I feel she exhibited all manners of joie de vivre that day and I ignored them.
The vet then had to remove her and change paws and then brought her back out fully alert to give the second injection and I’d looked into her eyes and told her she was the biggest, greatest love of my life and repeated that she’s okay and then, after 17 years of life on this planet, she slowly faded into unconsciousness and was never going to wake up. 17 years and we made a decision in 10 minutes.
I failed her horribly and her little sad eyes looking at me whilst it happened broke my heart. She had a few bad days and we were rushed into a decision to put her to sleep. She was lively that day, enjoying an adventure. 3 weeks before she was trying to fight with a dog she didn’t like and was eating etc. She slept a lot more but always came downstairs to say hello to visitors.
Venus could have had another few precious weeks of life on this planet and I feel that should have been worth the risk. We should have opted for surgery, there would have been a waiting list and in the meantime she could have enjoyed a few last weeks AND the surgery still had a better prognosis than euthanasia.
I’m heartbroken, will never forgive myself and I just hope Venus forgives me. If anyone is reading this; DO NOT make a decision on the spot unless your dog is in absolute pain. Never because he or she is uncomfortable or just sickly. Think about the decision and spoil your beloved fur baby because otherwise you’ll regret it the rest of your life, like I will.
❤️💗🐶🐶🥺😔💔💔
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Carla,
My heart aches for you as you grieve the loss of Venus. It is clear she was dearly loved, and I have no doubt she knew. I understand you wish you had given her more time, but to be honest I think you made the most loving choice, one I would have made for my own pup. Venus was just uncomfortable, but we know it would have progressed to suffering and the vet did not think she would live through surgery. I always think it is better to say goodbye one day too early rather than one day too late and allow unnecessary suffering. Letting go is the greatest act of selflessness I can think of. You allowed your own heart to break so that your sweet girl wouldn’t experience additional pain and could truly be at peace. I hope with time you can allow yourself some grace and your heart can begin to heal. May her memory stay with you always and be a source of joy in your life. Bless you and your family. ♥
David says
We just put our 3 year old Great Dane Abbey Rey to rest 30 minutes ago. I came across your article this morning and we are so appreciative. We brought her favorite bed, blanket and toy, we laid down with her on the grass under a big tree here in Kona Hawaii, We loved on her and she relaxed and dozed off before the vet came out. You’re article helped us prepare and make her transition peaceful and calm for Abbey. keep up the good work.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear David,
I am so sorry for your loss of Abbey Rey. What a blessing you were able to make those last moments peaceful and she felt comforted and loved. Thank you for the kind words. May Abbey’s memory be with you always and be a source of joy to you and your family. ♥
Jenn says
Thank you so much for this informative and thoughtful article. Our eldest dog lives with my daughter now; she is her beloved companion and helps allow my daughter to live alone (my daughter is high functioning autistic, and while she is academically brilliant, her social skills are not). Diamond is a hound/doberman mix and is almost 15, she no longer can control her bladder (she has a growth in it) or her bowels, she is hard of hearing, has cataracts, and ear infections are common, but she still gets up to greet my daughter, looks forward to her daily walks, (which require her to go up and down stairs), loves food and wants love.
We have been trying to prepare my daughter for the unenviable task of making end of life plans, and I have shared this article with her.. She has read it and has decided to implement many of your tips into her plan. She said it is also good to know what might occur.
From the bottom of my heart, I wish you well and know you have helped my daughter.
Dr. Julie Buzby says
Hi Jenn,
My heart goes out you and your daughter on the impending loss of Diamond. She sounds like she more than lives up to her name, and it is clear how special she is to your daughter (and your whole family). Please pass my condolences on to your daughter as she prepares to say goodbye to the dog she loves and who has offered her so much freedom, comfort, and companionship.
Thank you too for your kind words about the article. I’m so thankful that we were able to bring some comfort to your daughter and help her prepare for what is to come.
Thinking about you all! ❤️
Dawn says
Lily, my 13 yr old boxer mix has been in amazing health her whole life. She’s been struggling with arthritis and I knew we’d have to make a decision at some point for the sake of comfort and quality of life. We have been so thankful for no disease, but she had some scary episodes starting in May – first blood in her urine that didn’t scream UTI, so much blood they thought someone put a blood sample in with the urine by mistake. Then a few weeks later she had another episode, no blood this time, but she was in pain and weak. The thing is, in both situations she was better the next day, great actually, it passed.
My vet recommended x-rays last week just to be sure there was nothing underlying and my sweet girl has a large mass on her spleen which explained everything. This is so hard because she is good, she is energetic, she eats (most of the time), she still jumps with excitement (despite us trying to keep her from doing that lol). Knowing I have to make this decision before she is in crises to ensure she does not suffer, that is the easy part, I will do anything for her, but seeing her so good everyday, how do I know when? I know no-one can answer that for me. I know she is past average life expectancy for her breed and she’s been healthy for 13 yrs and so very loved. I know doing this sooner rather than later is the right thing for Lily, but I don’t know how to make that decision. This is so hard. I knew this day would come and I knew it would break my heart but I had no idea how much.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Dawn,
My heart aches for you as you try to navigate this emotional path. Here is a link to another article that deals with this exact situation: When To Euthanize A Dog With Hemangiosarcoma: A Vet’s Guidance
I pray you can find the answers and advice you need to make a decision with which you can be at peace. Wishing you strength and comfort. Bless you and sweet Lily. ♥
Niki Sabatini says
We are putting our old man Josh (almost 17 years old) down on Monday so I really appreciate this article. All of our other pets throughout the years have died naturally and/or had to be put down due to illnesses. Josh is somewhat of an amalgam. He has a heart murmur and bad kidneys but has functioned fine with both for years (with no pain according to the vets). We have consulted with the vet about what to look out for and the last few months he has started getting weaker and slower and especially the last few days he has been struggling and is showing some of the signs of hiding pain. We don’t want him to suffer.
We have another dog (a 5-year-old rescue mutt) who has been with Josh her whole life. We are planning on bringing her with and having her in the room with us so that she understands what is happening and why he’s not coming home. Do you have any other suggestions to make this transition easier, both for her and Josh?
Dr. Julie Buzby says
Hi Niki,
I’m so sorry for the loss of Josh. It sounds like he had a wonderful life with you and it is clear how much you care about him.
I definitely understand your concern with how your other dog will cope with the loss of Josh, especially since they have been together your other dog’s whole life. My dear friend and end-of-life care veterinarian actually recent wrote a blog for me on this very topic, so I’ll link it below.
Thinking about you and your other dog as you process this loss. ❤️
Do Dogs Grieve? Helping Your Dog Cope With Loss
Lucy Tea says
Thank you for the informative and honest answers to the questions I have recently been thinking about. My beautiful 18 and a half year old border terrier cross chihuahua Rosie, was diagnosed with Cushing’s disease nearly 3 years ago, but I don’t think she’s ready to leave us just yet. This article and your other one with Dr Woodruff, has given myself and my hubby, the information we need to prepare us for the right time to let our beloved Rosie go. Thank you so much for your honesty, empathy and compassion.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Hi Lucy,
I appreciate the kind words and positive feedback about the articles. Thank you for sharing your thoughts. Wishing you and Rosie comfort and peace. Bless you both.
Teresa says
This article was both incredibly helpful and extremely sad for me. My 14 year old cockapoo has been struggling with back pain for the past 2 months and the vet has prescribed her pain meds to manage it; x-rays don’t show anything significant, and it may just be a reoccurring disc injury. She gets really ill and won’t move for hours, and won’t eat unless I feed her though a syringe. Then one day she recovers and is fine again, only for it to happen suddenly again 1-2 weeks later. This time however, I can tell it’s worse than all the other times and I’m torn because I don’t know if I should allow this cycle to continue, or just resign to the fact that it’s time to let her go. She is still letting me know when she needs to go to the bathroom but will not play, eat, or move around with ease. Any advice?
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Teresa,
My heart aches for you as you face this difficult situation with your senior girl. Without examining her myself, it is hard to make specific conclusions. I encourage you to discuss your concerns with your vet. They can give their honest opinion about her quality of life and help guide you as you navigate this tough path. I always think it is better to say goodbye one day too early rather than one day too late and allow unnecessary suffering. I am confident you will find the answers you need to make the best choice for everyone involved. Wishing you nothing but the best. Bless you and your sweet girl. ♥
Simon Foy says
I’m never usually one to post comments, but I wanted to say thank you for your informative, empathetic and honest article. Tomorrow morning I will say goodbye to our Collie-Cross, Lucky, who has been an integral part of our family for nearly 17 years. She learnt to heel within 10 minutes, never needed a lead past a year, never reacted when my newly born daughter kept trying to poke her in the eye, helped me get fit again and enjoy the outdoors…. The list goes on. It’s hard to put into words just how good a dog she has been., I just wish I could tell her this, and how grateful and fortunate we consider ourselves to have had such an amazing dog, and that she would understand.
All I can do is make things as painless,, comforting and the least stressful that I can and reading this, will help me to do this for her. Thank you.
Simon.
Dr. Julie Buzby says
Hi Simon,
What a beautiful tribute to a one-of-a-kind dog! My heart goes out to you on the loss of Lucky. It is clear how much you loved her and what an amazing part of the family she was for the past 17 years. I have no doubt that she knew how special she was to you and the rest of the family and that she loved you dearly too. Thank you for sharing a bit of her story with us. ❤️ I hope that in time you will find a measure of comfort in all the wonderful memories you shared together and the knowledge that you gave her a wonderful life and a peaceful farewell.
reklam ajansı says
I enjoy the conversational tone of your blog, which makes me feel like part of a conversation.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Hi Reklam,
I appreciate the positive feedback. Thank you!
Mrs johns says
I too deeply appreciate your comforting tone for this most difficult decision to make. I have a 12 yr old male boxer, Phoenix, a rescue at 3 yrs old. He’s had the best living life we could give him. He’s dying of osteosarcoma. We found this out 2 months ago when my other rescue and he were rough playing and broke his femur. Surgery, pin and wired and prayed it wasn’t cancer but it was inevitable in the past two months and regressing rapidly. Been dealing with this decision for about 2 weeks now and seeing he’s deteriorated so bad these past few days that I must let him rest in peace and coming to the realization that’s what’s best for him and not for me. Truly a difficult process to come to that decision. My husband and I have been crying so much and my husband got on the floor and laid next to him for awhile as he was in pain and waiting for his meds to kick in. Tuesday is the earliest to get back with my vet. My daughter used to work for a vet and familiar with the process and so she will be with him and comforting him and loving him through it. My husband and I just can not handle this. I appreciate seeing this and don’t know how I came across it but truly believe it’s an answered prayer for peace and direction in this. Thank you immensely for all your love and insight.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Mrs. Johns,
I am so sorry for your loss of Phoenix. I hope his passing was smooth and peaceful. What a blessing your daughter was able to be with him in his final moments and allow you to do what was best for your heart. I pray for your comfort and strength as you work your way through the grieving process. May Phoenix’s memory live on and be a source of joy in your life.
Jessica Renee Lamark says
Thank You for this blog,page,website. I’m in my last hour with my 17yr old chihuahua before at home euthanasia. I’m having so many doubts and so torn inside. Am u doing the right thing.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Jessica,
My heart goes out to you with your recent loss. I am sure you made the most loving decision for your senior pup. Wishing you comfort and peace. Bless you.
Lauren Hall says
I came across this post when searching for ways to prepare myself for the hardest decision I’ve ever had to make. Thank you for providing this information.
We found out about 2.5 months ago that my 12.5 year old Rotti Xena has osteosarcoma. it was such a shock and devastating as the lump on the back of her leg just appeared one day.
because of her age and other things going on with her joints, amputation was not an option. we were sent home and told that she would only have a few weeks to live.
We have been blessed with 2.5 months of having Xena in our life, but unfortunately the past 2 days we have seen a rapid decline in her ability to walk and have now made the decision to say goodbye to her tomorrow.
I just can’t imagine life without my girl, the house will definitely be a lot quieter and different. I have a 15 month old girl who adores her and I’m sure she will miss her until the memory of her fades. We are going to make her a special book, telling her how much Xena loved her and how much my daughter loved Xena.
I also hope that other read my story so that she will never be forgotten.
We love you Xena XXX RIP my girl.
Dr. Julie Buzby says
Hi Lauren,
My heart breaks for you and for your daughter. Xena sounds like such a special dog and I’m sure she will be dearly missed. I’m glad you were able to have 2.5 more months with her, but I also understand that no amount of extra time with our beloved dogs is really enough. The book you are making about Xena sounds like such a beautiful way to honor her memory and help your daughter remember Xena. Sending love during this difficult time. ❤️
Elena says
A few days ago I have read your article about saying goodbye, and that is better to do a day earlier than a day later. This prompted me to think that maybe it is time to say goodbye to my beloved Jax. He is about 15 years old Siberian husky. I had him for about half of his life. About 1.5 years ago we discovered he has a big mass on his liver. We decided to opt out of surgery not knowing if it will benefit or will have complications. He surpassed expectations of many including veterinarian and still here. But he lost 20 lbs ( he was 50+ and now about 32). Over the time he lost appetite and we struggle to find things he would eat. Sometimes it is a peace of chicken, sometimes treats, sometimes bread, or tri tip. His arthritis is worsening and in the last few weeks his legs are getting weaker, sometimes he falls or stumbles, sometimes he struggles to get up from his back feet. He used to love walking and he still enjoys being outside but really struggles to walk and would stand for a while. He had his favorite dog walker for 8 yes’s and she shared it has been hard to watch him slow down so much. He can’t really do stairs so I carry him up and down to go potty. He used to smile on pictures, and I noticed a few weeks ago he stopped smiling. We decided to schedule an appointment for Memorial Day and I couldn’t stop crying for days. I am so scared of loosing him but I don’t want him feel like he can’t get to walk, or starts having accidents in himself. And I can’t shake off the feeling of his bones when I hold him. I share him with my ex, and I was told he had a few accidents in the house because he can’t use doggy door. I really want to have more time with him and feel guilty that I could have done more over the years. We are traveling next months so we dint want something happen to Jax and one of us not being able to be there to say goodbye. I am planning the last few days so I can’ take him to the park, I got him a pet wagon and I hope he likes it, and I will just give him lots of cuddles and pets. I am praying we are making the right decision for Jax but I am so heartbroken inside. The last thing I want to do is to cut his time short if he is still enjoying this life with us.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Elena,
I am sorry you had to face this difficult decision for Jax. I definitely think you made the right choice in giving him freedom from his struggles. It is clear Jax lived a full life and was dearly loved. I am certain he knew how much he meant to you. Thank you for being willing to share your experience with us. It is comforting for others to know they are not alone. I pray Jax’s memory will be a blessing and stay with you forever. Wishing you the best for a happy future.
Amber Taylor says
Stumbling across this article couldn’t have been at a better time. My first love, Kipper, just got euthanized today in-home. 15 y/o Papillon & long-haired chihuahua diagnosed with Lymphoma, heart failure & stage 6 murmur, and debilitating arthritis. With all of the cancer symptoms and his intense labored breathing, his poor heart needed to rest and be at peace. It was my first time doing it at home but I will never again experience this heartache at a vets office. Is there a service or community where dog food, meds, and supplies can be donated? I understand the risk of meds being gifted but I feel so wasteful since Kipp was on so many he still has 75% full prescriptions. I have no qualms tossing it but wanted to reach out and see if I could help someone else since meds are not cheap. Bless all of our little furry friend’s souls, they give us unconditional love, we are their world, they deserve the world in return and a peaceful way to leave this world. Stay strong everyone, we are not alone in our grief and it helps me to know that to try and heal and continue to move forward.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Amber,
I am so sorry for your loss of Kipper. I am glad you were able to have him at home where he was most comfortable while he passed peacefully. It is clear he was dearly loved, and I am certain he knew. I think it is very kind of you to want to donate his things to help other dogs. I am not sure there is a specific organization that takes items such as medications. I recommend you reach out to the local vet clinics in your area and possibly the shelter or humane society. There are a few clinics in my area that will take used or expired medications and offer them for free to families with extreme financial limitations. They let the owners know the medications were donated and the quality and safety of the drugs cannot be guaranteed. I am sure you will find the best way to keep Kipper’s memory alive and share his legacy with others. Wishing you comfort and healing for your heart. Bless you. ♥
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Kevin Moore says
We will say goodbye to our 14 year old Rat Terrier, Adidas, later tonight. She is the last of her original pack of four. Even though I’ve done this three times before, she will be the hardest one to let go. I’ve spent this work morning searching for articles like this because I’m feeling like recovery will be insurmountable.
Her seizures started about six weeks ago. Her bloodwork was good, it was suspected to be a brain tumor. We tried to treat it but the med’s did not work. When seizures increased, new bloodwork showed that her kidneys have failed. I’m trying to wrap my mind around how this was not evident on the first visit, but it is moot, even if we had known six weeks ago it would not have changed the outcome.
Adidas was a four week old stray and a foster fail, the “little girl” in a pack with two lab’s and a German Shepherd, all male. Amazingly, she never (ever) barked inside, even when everyone else did. Once outside she made her presence known. It was not something we taught her (evidenced by her brothers’ behaviors). We have been each other’s constant companions as the people, pets, and places around us all changed. She’ll be cremated and will rest with the rest of her pack. I already miss her. Thank you for providing this forum to share our thoughts, it has already helped.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Kevin,
I am sorry you had to say goodbye to your senior girl. I can only imagine how hard it must have been to let go of the last of your pack. Adidas sounds like a once in a lifetime kind of pup. Thank you for sharing her story with us. She will definitely not be forgotten. May her memory live on and bring joy to your days. Bless you.
Monique says
About 10 years ago, I made a difficult decision to re-home my beloved Yorkie, Jorja. Fast forward to 2023, we receive a call from a shelter saying they had her and located us via her microchip (new owner would not call me back to transfer information). Without missing a beat, I went to get her and have been loving on her, along with my two other Yorkies (acquired in 2020) ever since.
Seemingly out of nowhere, she became very lethargic and I was told she had yet another infection in her gums. Post medication she was getting back to normal and then two days later, she was not eating, barely drinking and not wanting to walk at all.
An immediate visit back to the vet was when bloodwork results from the previous visit were shared (said they tried to contact me; left msg on my daughter’s phone). Bad kidneys along with a bad pancreas and still the infection.
She has not eaten in four days, the water she consumes she basically spits back up within moments. The vet said we could do fluids daily, but she can’t hold that in her system either. She has urinated once, perhaps twice to my knowledge, made an attempt to poop and still will not eat. I have never had to do this before and already still held on to some guilt for giving her away years ago. Now I feel as though I am letting her go again, even though just like then, I felt as though it was best for her.
She is such a sweet girl and her sometimes bossy yet sweet personality will be greatly missed. I have been online reading so many articles about what to expect, how to deal, what to do, best practices and more.
I cannot express how grateful I am to have come across this article and be able to leave a comment. I have been praying off and on, talking to Jorja a lot, holding her, allowing her to be outside as much as she wants (she attempts to walk but very short distances). I believe I am more prepared now than before and your experience and expertise are one of the many reasons for that.
Thanks so much again…..
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Monique,
Your story really touches my heart. I am sorry you are preparing to say goodbye to your senior girl, but what a blessing she came back into your life! I am glad you were able to spend these last few months together and give her some peace and comfort. Please don’t let unnecessary guilt be a burden on you. You have made every decision based on what was best for Jorja and it is clear that she is dearly loved. Praying for your strength and wishing you both peace. Bless you. ♥
Becky says
I have a 12 year old boy who has been declining for 3 years now. he has serious trouble getting around most times he can’t stand up on his own and needs total assistance. he lost all control of his bowels and has been pooping where ever he is and creating quite the mess. recently he started urinating everywhere and we came to find out his bladder can’t release itself and it’s basically so full it just leaks out. we have to now express his bladder for him. the vet tells me this is all a neurological thing and basically he isn’t in pain or suffering and as long as we can handle it it’s OK. yesterday he suddenly can’t even walk at all and his what I believe is his knee is making a popping noise with every step he takes. I’m going to have to have a mobile vet come to my house and I’m terrified this is the end. it has been the most.stressful time of my life dealing with this and it makes me feel guilty. we try our best to take care of him. he still Is enjoying life and not letting his issues bring him down. so if there is something wrong with his leg that they say it’s time I don’t know how to handle that. how can you euthanize a dog who is still happy and mentally there? I have been losing sleep over this and non stop crying. I don’t know how to deal with this and I think I am scarred.from every having a dog again. I just cant imagine looking at him while he’s ok mentally and saying goodbye it makes me ill to think about.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Becky,
I am so sorry you are in this difficult situation with your senior pup. Unfortunately, there are times when a physical injury or disease will cause the need to say goodbye even though a dog is mentally still very alert and well. Choosing euthanasia may be the only way to prevent suffering and pain and can be the most loving option in certain situations. Were you able to have a vet come to your house to evaluate your boy? Praying there was a clear path forward. Feel free to leave an update if you have a chance. ♥
Aaron M. says
I have an appointment on Wednesday 5/4 to euthanize my 16yo pitbull Petey. It brings up a lot of feelings of when I lost my dad in 2016. It’s been harder because my father had the ability to tell me he wanted a DNR and Petey just wants to eat and sleep and wander around the yard. He is very wobbly on his back legs, but gets up quickly when he hears us or falls over. I think everyone wishes that their loved one will just pass away in their sleep, but that rarely happens.. I never expected or even thought about these days when I got him as a puppy or all the years we spent together. I am sad and feel like the pain is holding on until I hit that point of realization at his appointment. I am very torn but know that if he is in pain, which the vet confirms his arthritis is most likely painful, that the best decision is to end his pain and endure my own. I love Petey very much and appreciate the support and information the blog has brought me. His vet doesn’t offer in home euthanasia, but does have an individual cremation option that includes a paw print. I don’t know if there is a “right way” to go about this but I just feel like I’m going to miss something. I liked the idea of feeding chocolate before the procedure and never thought of that. I hope I am making the right decision that is selfless. He isn’t the same as he was even a year ago, and although he still loves to eat, his quality of life has certainly diminished. I will try to focus on all of the happiness he’s brought me over the years, but it’s just a tough and stressful, heart wrenching time. I’m sad but also hopeful that I will live another dog, although completely differently, just as much some day.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Aaron,
I am so sorry for your recent loss of Petey. I commend you for being strong enough to allow your own heart to break so your sweet boy could find freedom from his struggles. I am not sure there is a more loving choice you could have made. Thank you for sharing your story with us. Petey will not be forgotten. May his memory live on forever and be a blessing in your life.
Martha says
Thank you for this article. We are going to have to let go of our beloved girl, Lucy, one day next week. Beautiful Lucy is a small, fancy-fawn Boxer, who turned 10 in December. She is our world. Being unable to have children, she’s been so much more than a pet to me and my husband. Lucy’s the sweetest, most gentle and loving “daughter” that I could ever have asked for. My husband is disabled and he trained her to be his service animal. She is in every family portrait (we have 3 families) and is beloved by everyone.
I’ve been struggling. My husband is struggling. This article has brought some peace into my tortured heart. Thank you.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Martha,
My heart aches for you with your recent loss of Lucy. She sounds like an incredible pup, and I know she was a major blessing in your lives. I am glad you were able to find some comfort in the words of the article and comments from other readers. May Lucy’s memory stay with you always and be a source of joy as you continue life’s journey.
Caleb says
Thanks for this article. We have a 10.5 year old pit mix who has leg problems, intense allergies, and is very depressed. Our two dogs got into a fight two years ago that sent me to the hospital and to surgery on my face and arm, and a result we now have two dogs that can’t see each other and live in separate rooms and separate lives. We have to walk them separately. With our baby, neither can leave the room much. She is depressed, she doesn’t want to leave her room often and we have to force her to get up and go outside often. We have made this decision because it just seems like in the past month it has gotten so much worse. And she’s also been throwing up in the last month. We decided on Thursday to do the procedure this coming Tuesday. The guilt is enormous. The guilt of keeping her in her room, knowing we have done everything we can for her, and it will not improve and her being depressed in there is so much. And the guilt of putting her down, even if we do know she is in pain, is enormous as it has benefits for our family, and our other dog who will be a much better single dog, and she may be able to not have to take so many anxiety pills anymore, She has had a couple of better days since we made the decision and now we are second guessing ourselves. This sucks.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Caleb,
I am so sorry you had to make such a difficult decision about your senior girl. I can only imagine how hard it must have been to say goodbye. While I’m sure it was very emotional, I hope it was also a blessing to free your sweet girl from her struggles and your family from some of the stress you’ve been under. Praying you can all find a way to continue forward together and allow your other pup to live her best life. Wishing you hope and happiness. Bless you all.
Caitlin Bullock says
Thank you so much for this article. Two weeks ago I had to make an abrupt decision to put my 16.5 y/o chihuahua down and I’m still struggling so much with the events of that day. To come here and find out that my best friend could still hear me up until the very very end post-sedation brings me so much comfort. She brought me out of rock bottom and it’s been really hard to navigate life without her, but I feel better knowing that the sedation and euthanasia process brought her nothing but relief. That she merely drifted off into a nap which she was so fond of doing. Thank you for writing this. My heart still aches but this allowed me to let go of the guilt I was carrying.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Caitlin,
My heart goes out to you with the recent loss of your senior girl. I am glad to know the article was able to relieve you of the unnecessary burden of guilt you have been carrying. I can only imagine how much you miss your sweet girl, but what a blessing you were able to offer her peace and rest. I cannot think of a more loving act than to allow your own heart to break so your pup could be free from her struggles. I am glad you were with her in her final moments and am certain your presence was a comfort. I pray with time your heart will heal. May her memory be a blessing that stays with you forever. ♥
perla moubarak says
hello dear, my boyfriend and I got our dogs together 5.5 years ago. they’re like our kids before having kids. they’re the highlight our our lives. my dog is healthy but his pomeranian developed renal insuffisency and convulsive crises 3 years ago and has been controlled with foodswaps and meds and he was doing really good since then..
last saturday we were surprised he had a status epilepticus and he’s so tiny and we got the PTSD again and ever since everyday he ‘s been having a seizure every other day. yesterday the vet said he has only 1 functioning kidney at 30% and has limited days to weeks. he is 1.6 kgs and is so tiny and has serum attached to him most of the time…. we are considering euthanasia bcz he is not comfortable seizing everyday this is a nightmare but everything escaled so quickly we don’t want to decide quickly and then feel guilty but rly there is nothing to be done and our hearts are breaking at this sight…. i cannot stop searching about euthanasia and finding the right thing to do but i rly am still in shock and need to be strong next to my boyfriend’s family too cz he is abroad and i am there in charge instead of him…. it’s horrible . i keep thinking that i dont want to end his life myself and rather give it to time and if it happens it would be from his deterioration not my intervention… i have no idea it’s no hope for him anyway but he’s not well eitherrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. he’s only 5 years old!!
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Perla,
I am so sorry you are in this difficult situation. I can only imagine how hard it is to face these emotional choices while your boyfriend is away. I know you are hoping your pup will pass on his own so you don’t have to make the decision to say goodbye. But a natural death is often not pretty or peaceful. Saying goodbye may be the most loving option and only way to give your little guy freedom from his struggles. I honestly think it is better to let go one day too early rather than one day too late and allow unnecessary suffering. We have the opportunity and the responsibility to give our beloved dogs a peaceful goodbye. I am hopeful you will find the advice you need to make the best choice for everyone involved. Praying for your strength and comfort.
Pam says
I was very distraught a few years ago when I had to make the decision for my 2 fur babies 6 months apart. I contacted the Billy Graham Evangelical Association and asked them if my dogs would be in Heaven. They told me that God wants everyone to be happy in Heaven and if that means you have to have your pets with you then they will be there with you. I’m looking forward to it.
As I write this, I’ll be making the decision for my little girl Daisy. She’s 16 years and 4 months old. She has dementia and other problems. 😭 You and everyone here are in my prayers.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Pam,
My heart goes out to you as you make this emotional decision for Daisy. Thank you for sharing this with us. Wishing you peace and comfort for your heart. Bless you and your sweet girl.
Brenda Craig says
not sure how to post… But I have a 17-year-old Shih Tzu that doesn’t really know where he is most of the time anymore. He has horrible Cataracs and can’t hear and I think it’s time to let him go but just struggling with the fact that he can still go outside, even though I find him in the middle of the street, which is bad… My own child passed away at 39 four years ago so doing this is very challenging for me and my grandson… But going to schedule an appointment to go in the next couple of weeks and appreciate the thoughts of having a party before he goes… Charlie appreciate you all very much
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Brenda,
My heart goes out to you as you face this most difficult decision. I am sorry for all the loss you have endured over the last few years. I hope your sweet boy will pass peacefully surrounded by those who love him most. Praying for peace and comfort for you and your grandson as you continue life’s journey. Bless you both.
beylikdüzü masaj salonu says
This blog is an invaluable resource for anyone looking to stay informed and educated on the topic.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Thank you!
Simon says
we are reaching the end of my 16yo jack russels life and to be honest knowing the time is nearly up i dont know how will cope, i know it will be the best for him when the time comes but i will be saying goodbye to my best friend…the vet told us he is now on borrowed time and soon we will need to euthanise, i still pray before then he will pass in his sleep
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Simon,
I am sorry you are facing this difficult decision for your senior guy. I am hopeful his passing will be peaceful and smooth. Praying for your strength to navigate this tough road ahead and for comfort for your heart.
Susan Ghosh says
Our dog Oreo is 15 and 4 mrhs. She has cushings,heart disease, compromised airways and watching her finding it harder to breathe as her stomach goes in and out deeply, she has asthma and possible enlarged liver we now have to try and decide to put her to sleep. This is very hard as she is my husbands best friend, but we know the time is coming, as if we leave it too late, her trachea could collapse and it will be awful, but we are finding it hard as she still goes for short walks and is still eating so when to choose the right time
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Susan,
I am so sorry Oreo’s health is declining and you are facing this most difficult decision. I truly think it is better to say goodbye one day too early rather than one day too late and allow unnecessary suffering. Letting go may be the most loving option and only way to give your sweet girl relief from her struggles. I pray for your strength and comfort as you navigate this emotional path. Bless you and your senior girl.
Tricia Hicks says
My Gracie is 14 years and three months old and is suffering from dementia. I took her into the vet on 3/24 to speak to her about her latest behaviors, moving her head from side to side and multiple days in a row where she cannot settle and will pace endlessly in circles. This is even with a whole table of trazadone over the course of the day. When I leave she will pace the whole time I am gone. She gets “stuck” if she runs into something and when I go to gather her up and return her to her bed, she looks as though she doesn’t know where she is. She is urinating on the pee pads still but also has several accidents a day on her pee pads covering her beds. I have come home to her splayed out on the floor unable to get up after squatting to urinate. It is breaking my heart daily. She is my baby and I am so scared of letting her go even though I know this is probably time. She was having good days and bad days but it seems they are just getting worse. I don’t want to be selfish and have her suffer. She has a very good appetite still and gets excited for breakfast, lunch and dinner. I have made her food her whole life. She has a hard time with depth perception though, I have also noticed and have to show her where her bowl is. How many days in a row of “bad days” before I let her go?
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Tricia,
I am sorry you are facing this difficult decision for Gracie. From what you describe it does sound like her mental state is in decline and her quality of life is not the best. I understand how hard it is to know when to let go. I always think it is better to say goodbye one day too early rather than one day too late and allow unnecessary suffering. I will attach links to other articles with more information and great comments from other readers. I am hopeful you will find the advice you are looking for to make the best choice for Gracie. Praying for your strength and comfort for your heart.
1. Using a Quality of Life Scale for Dogs
2. Dementia in Dogs: When to Euthanize Your Beloved Senior Dog
3. How Will You Know When It’s Time to Euthanize Your Dog? 5 Caring, Heartfelt Messages
Sam I says
Tricia, I have the exact same feelings for my 15 year old dog right now. He’s blind in one eye, walks and stumbles in circles, and often gets stuck in spots in my house. I spend my days following him around and making sure he isn’t stuck somewhere. My house is covered in rugs now, but before he would get stuck sprawled out on the floor like a starfish and unable to get up. He has betters days and bad days, but just watching him slow down has been making my heart ache. I love him so much, I’m 21 myself and don’t remember life without him. He is my best friend. I fear the time is soon. How are you now? What, if anything, has helped you get through these sad times?
Tina Walter says
I adopted my female Blue Heeler/Basenji in January of 2017. She was older than what the humane society thought because the next year she had gotten arthritis. She has been having “episodes” for the last few months. We have tried all medications and tests in our price range. The last test they tried was for her blood pressure although the vet already told us if the blood pressure pills don’t work she is has concluded that my Harley has Doggy Dementia, I am going to have to put her sleep almost for sure this Friday April 14th. Thank you for this article. Even though I am heartbroken beyond words the article helped me and I saved to post on Facebook to help other pet parents. Thank you and God bless!
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Tina,
I am sorry you had to say goodbye to your senior pup. I understand how difficult and emotional that decision can be. I hope Harley’s passing was peaceful and smooth. Thank you for the kind words about the article. It makes me happy to know it offered you some comfort and will be passed on to others as well. May Harley’s memory be a blessing in your life. Wishing you the best for brighter days ahead.
Alicia says
I agree. We just made the appointment today to euthanize both of our boys this Saturday. It has been a hot topic the past few months but we have really struggled with our decision. We are still not 100% as these are the only dogs we have had our entire marriage. They are 12.5 and 13.5 years old and have lived a good life. We were searching for the perfect sign it was time but we never found it. After a long discussion about all of their difficulties and decline we have noticed….We decided to go with the quality not quantity phrase to help with our decision. I have been a blubbering mess since my husband called to make the appointment today. We plan on spending this week filled with all of their favorite things. Thank you for this article, it did help me do some processing.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Alicia,
My heart aches for you with the recent loss of both of your senior boys. I am glad the article was helpful and offered some peace of mind. May the memories of all the good times you shared be a blessing in your life. Wishing you comfort for your heart and happier days ahead. ♥
SA says
Hi.
I found this really helpful, in currently going through the process of coming to terms with letting my 13yr old husky go. We have an appointment for Wednesday, but I’m still constantly questioning myself on if I’m doing the right thing. we have spoken to the vet about her quality of life and all agree it is probably time.
She used to be so bouncy loving and all round nuts, about 2 years ago she was put on metacam for her back legs which were causing her pain.
We have found that the last couple of months she has really slowed down. struggling up hills, sleeping so much more, she has lost a lot of weight, she seems so uncomfortable and unhappy, she can’t go through the night anymore without needing to go out. We think her kidneys might be failing as her drinking has increased. I keep trying to look at the bigger picture. She doesn’t enjoy walks as much anymore. she doesn’t play with her toys, and people she used to love she barely looks at, and takes herself off. it is the fact this has taken 2 months to change so dramatically that I think it is fairer for her to say goodbye before she is in more pain.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear SA,
My heart goes out to you as you face this difficult decision for your senior girl. It sounds like her health and mental state are declining and saying goodbye may be the most loving option. I think you are making the right choice to let go before things get worse. What a blessing you can save her from unnecessary suffering and pain. I hope her passing is peaceful and smooth. Praying for your strength and comfort for your heart. May the memories of the good times you shared stay with you always. Bless you both.
Stacy Ingram says
Your comments about your Husky really helped comfort my heart, for I too am struggling with the same issues with our senior dog of 14. Back in January she had a seizure and then recently started having them more often. She is just not the happy and snuggly girl she used to be 🙁 it breaks my heart thinking we may were being selfish with not letting her go sooner. Her passing appointment is today, and I can use all the strength and prayers given.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Stacy,
My heart goes out to you with the recent loss of your senior girl. I hope her passing was peaceful and smooth. May her memory continue to be a blessing in your life. ♥
Gita says
Last night I lost my baby girl (Yorkie) of 13.5 years. She was in very good condition. Perfect teeth and eyes only slightly clouded. Last June she developed a lump on her back which after being removed surgically turned out to be MST. In approx 3 months after the first surgery she developed a second tumor and I scheduled a second surgery. Before the day of the second surgery another lump appeared so they were removed. Before those stitches were removed more lumps appeared so that was the point at which I decided no more putting her under the knife. I kept her going to enjoy the time she had left but during that time she developed a huge mass the size and flatness of my hand and a golf sized tumor along with some other little ones. All under her skin on her left side. Anyway, she was going along fine and pain free when suddenly about a month ago, out of the blue she developed a stomach ulcer and pancreatitis . I took her to the vet and they have us pain and stomach meds. I was relieved when she came back to her normal bossy self. That was not to last for too long. On Friday I noticed she was breathing quickly and on Saturday it got to panting but she ate her morning meal so I was observing her. On Sunday she started groaning and I planned to take her today to the vet. I knew I would have had to make a choice to euthanize her before long as she was not going to be able to withstand chronic Pancreatitis every two weeks or so. Unfortunately, I was not able to give her that one last gift as she passed away overnight after being in much pain. I am devastated. I loved her more than anything. She was a good girl who loved and trusted me unconditionally. She was a loyal companion and was even protective in her own way. There will never be another one like her in my lifetime. Anyway the point of this post is that even though I was unable to give her the gift of an easy passing, I found this forum extremely helpful and my heart goes out to all of the people who posted and have lost a valuable family member in a pet. I’d like to think that she was making things easier for me so that I did not have to make that decision to euthanize her. I will love and remember her as long as my memory allows me to. I do have one consolation. I have her sister (Silky Terrier) to help me get over this loss.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Gita,
My heart aches for you with the recent loss of your beloved pup. I can only imagine how much you miss her but am thankful you still have her sister by your side. Thank you for being willing to share your story with us. Just as you mentioned the forum was helpful for you, I am certain your words will be a source of comfort to others in a similar situation. I pray with time your heart will heal. May the memories you shared with your sweet girl live on and be with you always. Bless you. ♥
bill wolfe says
About 20 years ago, I had to put down my 14 year old female yellow lab lover, Amber. But it was obvious that she was suffering and had to go, as her kidneys had failed. I still recall looking into her eyes and soothing her as she went at the vet’s office. It was a powerful moment, frankly more intense that losing my mom.
I swore I would never get another dog and suffer that experience again, but a few years later, a friend hooked me up with a black lab rescue dog.
Now, I’m facing the same end of life decision with my 12 year old male black lab. Bouy. He’s been suffering sever arthritis and can hardly walk (for 6 moths now), but he’s still very loving and enjoys smelling things, eating whatever he comes across, and rolling in the grass. It’s not at all clear that he should go or wants to go, even though he sleeps a lot.
His arthritis is exacerbated by a prior severe injury to his left knee.
I feel so incredibly selfish and guilty that I’m frustrated in caring for him 24/7 and unable to play and take the walks we used to. It’s negatively impacting my own health now (I’m 66).
I find this incredibly disturbing and am losing sleep and normal life over it.
Any words of guidance out there? How does one know when to end a loving dog’s life? Can or should that be done because the dog has lost mobility?
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Bill,
My heart goes out to you with the difficult situation you are facing with Bouy. Without examining him myself, it is hard to know what things to suggest or what his quality of life truly is. There are many treatments and therapies available that can work wonders for dogs suffering from arthritis pain. But there is definitely a point where treatments just don’t work anymore and saying goodbye can be the most loving option. I will attach links to other articles with more information and great advice from other readers. You can also talk to your vet and see if they will schedule a quality-of-life exam for Bouy. I hope you can find the answers you need to make the best decision for you and your senior guy. Best wishes and bless you both.
1. Using a Quality of Life Scale for Dogs
2. How to Relieve Arthritis Pain in Dogs: The Ultimate Guide
3. When to Euthanize a Dog With Arthritis: A Vet’s Heartfelt Advice
Lorn says
I am in same boat with my Pit Bull jessie. She has falling in her own pee. I have to be with her 24/7. I do it have done it for last year in half. But i keep asking myself is she happy. Does she want yo run. I don’t sleep if she is not sleeping. I have made the call for tomorrow. My heart hurts that I did it. But she will be with my orher dog Jacob and they will run together in the clouds of heaven. Tear flowing typing this.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Lorn,
I am sorry you had to say goodbye to Jessie. What a privilege it is to be able to offer a beloved pup freedom from their suffering. I can only imagine how much you miss her and Jacob but glad they both knew what it meant to be dearly loved. May the memories of the good times you shared be a blessing as you continue life’s journey.
Lin says
I had scheduled an appointment for our dog, Angel, to be put to sleep tomorrow. I was acturally reading this article in preparation for tomorrow’s euthanization, when she passed away around 4:30pm today. I had been crying as I was reading about the prayer one of your children said to Luke in your other article. And when I realized Angel had passed away while I was reading, it was as if the prayer was for her… She had oral cancer and had a successful surgery last May, followed by a 6-month prognosis. She was a true fighter and our vet was pleasantly surprised she outlived the prognosis by quite a lot. Our other dog, Rocky, was unfortunately a quitter and was put down on January 24th after being diagnosed with diabetes and 4 days of hospitalization. That took us by surprise and totally devastated us. We spent 3 hours at the vet until we finally gave the “go ahead” to the final injection. It was scary thinking about going through that pain all over again so soon after… so I was reading your articles to help me cope with it. But… Angel, with all her love and care, must not want me to go through it again… After fighting for so long, she waited for me to got home (luckily I decided to leave work early today for her), drank some water, and quietly passed away an hour later, the day before her scheduled appointment. We are taking her for cremation tomorrow, and I really appreciate your heartfelt articles. We are lucky to have been loved by our pets. May all the pets and pet owners find peace. They are there patiently waiting by the door, for one day, the door opens, and we walk through to hug and kiss them again.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Lin,
My heart goes out to you with your recent loss of Angel and Rocky. I am glad you were able to be home with your sweet girl in her last moments. Thank you for sharing your story with us and for the kind words about the articles. I hope the memories of your beloved pups will continue to be a blessing in your life. Praying for comfort for your heart and happier days ahead. ♥
Ashley Hardy says
This article was helpful. My dog is only 3 years old but after a very hard fight with a severe infection, we are putting her to sleep tomorrow. she is not eating, she barely drinks her water, she is lethargic and constantly trembling. She is not herself and I know she is in pain and tired of fighting. Her prognosis from the vet is extremely poor. I am just afraid because she is still so young and this was so unexpected. I hope I am doing right by her.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Ashley,
I am so sorry for the recent loss of your young pup. You made a loving decision to allow your own heart to break so your sweet girl could find peace from her suffering. I can only imagine how much you miss her but hope you will find comfort in knowing you did everything you could. May her memory live on and be a blessing in your life. Praying for your heart to heal. ♥
Samantha's Mom says
Hello Everyone reading this, You are a good person and your furry baby that passed away knows how much you still care.
I wrote this for all of you and for myself. It is not easy and certain pains ( letting go our our furry baby) are maybe not meant to get better, it cut’s our heart deep and so we must accept this and craddle our hearts with unconditional love.
I lost my Samantha a Mastiff, she was my life, she had and still has my heart. I let her go after she had a knee injury for a few years that had ups and downs along with her hip displasia. At the end she no longer wanted her gabapentin and eat. The hemp induced prescribed cbd oil for dogs helped her relax her before her euthanasia administered at home with a Vet, I gave it to her an hour before the Vet arrived and do she was already very drowsy, I put some on her paw to lick and on her fur to relax her all over and inside her ears, she was feeling very good and was ready for the visit.
I tried giving the firsr needle that the vet gave me to give her on her buttox but she was all bones and I should of done it gently under the skin sideways but jabbed her broke the needle ( bent it ) and broke the plunger, my dog sat up kickly looking at me surprised wondering what was that silly pocking trick I had tried. It was a fail and so I suggest to ask the Vet to admister it instead of playing hero.
I relaxed my dog and placed a doona for her to relax but she faced the front door that time as she knew after the poke I was up to no good. I asked the Vet that was waiting outside my house with her kit to go through the backyard and had time before she walked around to place a comfy sheet on my dog and pat her, the Vet gave her the first injection with a shallow angle and my dog felt it but this time stayed down and just asked what was that in a light growl, I then slept on the floor next to her and looked at her one eye open and said kind words to her. And she closed her eyes as she was watching mine close as well.
The Vet gave her seceral other injuections to sedate her before giving her two in the belly as she could not find a vein in her back leg, perhaps because she was not using them much or because the sedation made them so relaxed.
I pat her but regret following the vet to chit chat with her outside for a minute before coming back in, I know that my dog knew I was there and she was under but I missed the second where her heart stopped as when I came back in the vet told me she was gone after taking her pulse.
She had a nice white body bag with handles and a zipper and while she went to get her car I gently backed my precious fur baby on the bottow side of the unzipped bag and essily closed it, urine and fluid came out of her and I saw two drops of blood. I know the vet ensured she would not feel her geart stop because she was pinching my dog’s toe a few times and waiting and pinching her toe again before deciding to add two in her belly.
When the Vet came back in we both carried two handles eached and my house was already full of ramps and my dog had already lost a lot of weight in her last 6 months and so it was easy to carry her into her car.
Except I really did not like the feeling that I had left the body of my Samantha with a stranger not knowing where the ashes would go but also not knowing if her body would be treated with respect. I also felt that I wanted her body back.
I knew deep down that it was best for me emotionaly to have the body gone and let go.
If she was not in pain I would of not minded all the extra care she needed helping walk at times and helikg her lift her when she wanted me to. But she had pain teo hours before her medications were due every 12 hours and plus I was spacing them to avoid interactions and so I had a lot of alarms to ensure to follow and would sometimes fail to be on exact time and so I was living with guilt of not being perfect. Also the Vet 6 months vefore her desth thought maybe Meloxicam was the cause of her on and of kidney infection and so I stopped goving her meloxicam between sept and dec and she lost most of her muscles and some bone mass. Finally the vet decided to order Cbd hemp induced hemp oil but it was too little too late, at almost 13 years old my dog could not rebuild her muscles, she was suspected to have pancreatis as she could no longer est fatty foods and so she hardly had anything to eat in her last week and a half of life and so I knew it was a good time to die,
She knew, she told me when she refused to est and take her meds and so I was the coach, I dropped the white towel and what was once a powerful and fast giant with the help of the Angel of death ( Vet) stayed immobiled on the ground, the bell rang and she Won her fight! She won her life, she was the best in my heart and she was loved by so many. The Vet told me it was the end, thar she was gone, but was she? I think it was the start for her of a new life without her painful body and on her terms!
I will remember Samantha your licks, your nibbles, how you backed your body next to me, how you stepped on my friend’s toes or stole kisses on the sofa quickly when they were distracted. I will remember you crazy agile speed and how you could master 5 soccer balls against two of us at once! I will rember your agile jumps and donuts innthe air as you raced against us and turned before bumping us as a puppy. I will remember how you listened to me in front of other dogs at the park to show off but played the clown alome with me always doing pit stops to sniff or trying to extend your walks hahaha and at the end being handicaped did not break your spirit you walked zillions of steps of your front legs as I would lift your back legs and you used to kick a little to go faster as you were so competitive.
At the wnd you could no longer jump after the birds and would let them wonder the grass around you eating all my grass seeds and the minute that you could hear me come out of the door you would do a quick bark jump with all your energy left to show me that you would always be there to protect me.
I will remember your heart, your humour, your loyalty, you knew me the best, you knew everything about me. You will never be replaced.
I wish you all the best, wathever path you take, may your soul follow the light, I promise that I will be able to protect myself and will be alright without you, I promise I won’t let anything happen to me even if you are no longer guarding my side.
If one day I do get another furry baby please know that it is not a gesture of replacement or to help me cope but a gesture that humans cannot begin to love like dogs can, I miss your love, but somehow when I close my eyes at night I can still hold you in my arms same as I was imagining doing when you were alive.
With all my love
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Samantha’s Mom,
Your words are beautiful, and it is clear your sweet girl was dearly loved. Thank you for sharing her story with us and offering support for others grieving the loss of a beloved pup. May Samantha’s memory be a blessing that stays with you forever. Wishing you the best as you continue life’s journey. ♥
Terrylynn says
We have made the decision to let our old dog go. Now I’m back on the Rollercoaster If I’m doing the right thing. The appointment is booked for Tuesday morning. She is 12 years. We believe she is sick. She can no longer swim, playball, go on walks, car rides are even out. But she does have bursts of energy followed by barely being able to move. Some days are better than others… there are times I feel like I’m making the right decision and other times I’m so confused!
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Terrylynn,
I understand the struggle to decide when the time is right to say goodbye to a beloved dog. You are not alone in this difficult decision. Make sure you lean on the advice and knowledge of your vet. You can ask them to assess your girl’s quality of life and let you know if she is suffering. I hope the appointment went smoothly and you were able to make the best choice for everyone involved. Praying for comfort for your heart. Bless you.
Christine Thompson says
I just spoke to our veterinarian. My sweet chihuahua Lily is suffering from a tumor in her sinuses. The bone over the sinus has developed a hole a sinus fluid is collecting between her eyes, under the skin. She struggles to breathe. I scheduled her to be euthanized tomorrow morning. I am shattered. She will be 12 this year. She’s white and only weighs 5 pounds. she adores me and I her. I keep asking myself how I could do this to her….arrange her death. I feel horrible. Yet watching her struggle to breathe and how much that effort exhausts her is killing me. I feel so guilty for doing this….for choosing to end her life. I’m shattered.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Christine,
My heart goes out to you with the recent loss of your little pup. I am so sorry you had to say goodbye, but know it was the most loving and unselfish choice you could make. You did the only thing you could to give your sweet girl peace and rest from her suffering. It is clear from your words just how much you loved her, and I am certain she knew. I pray with time your heart will heal. May her memory live on and be a blessing in your life.
Tracey says
I do so appreciate this information… we are preparing to help my Baxter cross the rainbow bridge and I just don’t know how I am going to be able to do this. He’s 10 years old but has a tumor between his bladder and prostate; I know it hurts him but he’s not suffering horribly at this point, I’m just afraid we’re keeping here more for us than him- and it’s only fair and decent of us to let him go.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Tracey,
I am sorry Baxter’s health is declining and he is nearing the end of his life. I understand how difficult it is to make the decision about when to say goodbye. I always think it is better to let go one day too early rather than one day too late and allow unnecessary suffering. I will attach links to other articles with more information and advice. Praying for clarity and strength. Bless you all.
1. Using a Quality of Life Scale for Dogs
2. How Will You Know When It’s Time to Euthanize Your Dog? 5 Caring, Heartfelt Messages
3. Dog Euthanasia: Knowing When to Say Goodbye
Hannah says
My 12 year old girl has been fine up until last week when she didn’t want to go on a walk or eat her food. Took her to the vets who did some tests and gave us the worst news imaginable yesterday that she has a sinister cancer all over her lungs which is compressing on her heart causing her to struggle to breathe. He has recommended euthanasia but has given us 7 days of steroids/gabapentin for the pain. He said that it’s likely going to make her seem better but without the meds she will be in a lot of pain. He said there’s no treatment they can do. She seems so much better today with the medicine. Eating her food and following us around as normal. We are heartbroken and in shock. We don’t know what to do. It just doesn’t seem like It’s the right time . She’s incredibly fearful and anxious of people and we are so worried that she will cry out when they have to clip her fur/inject her. She will be so stressed out and scared. My heart is broken.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Hannah,
I am so sorry your senior girl has received such a devastating diagnosis. I know it is hard to face saying goodbye when the medications make her seem to feel so good. I understand your worry about your dog’s anxiety and comfort during the euthanasia process. These are valid concerns, but they can be easily managed with the right protocols and procedures. I highly recommend you contact your vet and ask about their euthanasia process. If sedation is not used, I would recommend asking if it can be added. With the right medications administered at the start, saying goodbye can be peaceful and smooth for everyone involved. You might even want to see if there is a house call vet in your area that specializes in in-home euthanasia, such as Lap of Love. I want you to be at peace with how things will go so you can focus on loving on your pup for the time she has left. Make the most of each day and take comfort in knowing you gave her a great life. Praying for your strength. Bless you both.
Lori says
My beautiful Frankie left us recently. But I’m so grateful for our last hours together. I’m so thankful he chose us to be his family. We miss him so so much, some days it’s hard to bear. But I know it was his wish to leave this life – he was in late stage DM. Upon entering the room where would pass, he laid his head in my lap and closed his eyes … we talked to him and waited for the vet. When she entered and reached for his paw to insert the catheter, he opened his eyes and lifted his head just enough to reach her hand. He licked her hand 3 times then lowered his head back to my lap and never moved again – the meds were not yet dispensed. I almost think he had let himself go in that moment ..…at least his spirit. His departure was profoundly peaceful. I’m so grateful .…I see this scene in my head every day. But I know it was right and it was his wish.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Lori,
This is such a beautiful story. Thank you for sharing your experience with us. What a blessing for Frankie to have passed so peacefully. I have no doubt your presence was a comfort to him in those final moments. Your pup definitely sounds like he was a loving and beautiful soul. May his memory bring joy to your life and stay with you always. ♥
Keri says
Dr. Buzby,
I just had to euthanize my 15 year old Chihuahua due to seizures that were no longer responsive to medications. I struggled and am still struggling with my decision even after the fact, because when she wasn’t having seizures she was still her typical self. I made the decision to euthanize her before her condition worsened and she was no longer “her” but I’m having a really tough time with my decision. The thought of her being confused as to what was happening and why, especially while she was still “her”, is weighing heavy on my heart but I just wanted her to leave this world with dignity. How do I find peace with this? I can’t help but feel doubtful that I made the right choice. Also, she became deaf and blind towards the end of her life, so although I was talking to her and telling her everything I wanted her to hear as she was leaving this world do you think she actually heard me or understood me? I hate thinking that she just left without knowing how much I loved her and how much she meant to me. These are things that are weighing heavy on my heart and I was hoping that you may be able to give me some peace. I appreciate you and the work you do.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Keri,
My heart aches for you and the recent loss of your senior girl. I think the choice you made to say goodbye while your pup still had some dignity was an extreme act of love. What could be more unselfish than to allow your own heart to break just to give your sweet girl peace and freedom from her struggles? I always think it is better to let go one day too early rather than one day too late and allow unnecessary suffering. I know your little pup’s sight and hearing were not the best, but I am certain she could feel your presence and it was a comfort. I have no doubt she knew how much she was loved. That sort of thing doesn’t require words. ♥ May her memory live on and be a blessing to you as you continue life’s journey.
Jane Scarlett says
Your article on pet euthanasia was very comforting my dog Bloo was a Chihuahua
I had to have him euthanised on Sunday
I feel so guilty as they didn’t get the catheter in correctly the first time and had to do it again on the other leg after that was done my dog had to have 4 sedations as he was still snapping at them and one point got up and ran across the room. The procedure to me was so traumatising that I feel I have let my poor baby down when he needed me most. He had a heat condition stage C they called it but he was being sick and diarrhoea over 4 days and I thought it was time now I’m unsure due to the fight he put up after the sedations .
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Jane,
My heart aches for you with the recent loss of your little Chihuahua. I am so sorry his euthanasia did not go as you had hoped. I am certain the veterinary team did all they could to make the process as smooth as possible. Rest assured, the sedation once it finally takes effect does a great job of bringing peace and calm. You did not fail Bloo and I am sure your presence was a comfort to him during his final moments. I hope with time your heart will heal and you can allow yourself some grace. You loved your boy well. May his memory be a blessing in your life.
Michelle says
I’m struggling with making the decision to euthanize my 17 year old dog, Huckleberry. He is blind from cataracts and because of kidney issues is unable to have anesthesia. He exhibits all of the signs of senility. He has minor medical issues but my heart breaks watching him everyday and wondering if he is suffering. I don’t mind the extra work to take care of him, but I don’t want his life to be so very difficult annd not worth living. He used to be such an happy, energetic dog who adored me. The trouble with dementia is that it comes on so slowly and then all of a sudden it’s so life altering for the dog. Everyone close to me feels I should let him go. My heart is broken. I want to do what’s best for him.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Michelle,
I understand your concern for your senior boy’s wellbeing. It is hard to watch their health and mental state slowly decline. Making the decision to say goodbye is emotional, difficult, and many times not very straight forward. From what you describe, euthanasia may be the best way to give your sweet boy relief from his struggles. My heart aches for you and this hard choice you are facing. I will attach links to other articles with more information and great advice. I hope you can find the answers you need to make the best decision for you and Huckleberry. Bless you both. ♥
1. Dementia in Dogs: When to Euthanize Your Beloved Senior Dog
2. Using a Quality of Life Scale for Dogs
3. How Will You Know When It’s Time to Euthanize Your Dog? 5 Caring, Heartfelt Messages
jjatk10 says
Dr. B-
I have made and cancelled two appointments to help my Jake cross the rainbow bridge. Jake is a rescue dog that has been my best buddy and the sweetest addition to our family. We have had Jakey for 12 years now and he developed Cushing’s recently. He has been deteriorating ever since. He has become blind and deaf and he is weak, and his legs sometimes give out on him. He has developed some nasal drainage recently, which the vet seems to think is evidence of a tumor. He is showing signs of Dementia and is up often at night walking in circles. He has lots of accidents in the house and sleeps/rests most of the day. As I write this, it seems very clear that he is not living a quality life, but knowing that and actually facing having to watch him pass is gut wrenching. How to I come to terms with this? How do I know that I’m making the best decision? How do I even imagine life without my Jake-my best friend? We rescued Jake from a horrible situation, and I don’t want to ruin all we have done to try to give him the best life possible by making a mistake here at the end and waiting too long to help him peacefully pass. Once thing I am certain about. I love him immeasurably. I can’t even make the call to schedule anything. I’ve read your article over and over and all of the comments here are so helpful, but I am so conflicted and sad. Also, I want to be there, holding Jake, at home when he passes, but I’m not sure I can make it through those last moments. Is there anything anyone can say to help me at this point? I appreciate any further words of wisdom from you, Dr. B., or any of your lovely readers who have gone through this emotionally impossible decision/time. I’ve been looking for help-for anyone who can say anything to help. I look forward to your responses. Thank you in advance.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear JJ,
I am so sorry Jake’s health is declining and he is nearing the end of his life. It is clear from your words just how much you love him, and I have no doubt he knows. I understand what a difficult decision you are facing. Letting go is hard but can sometimes be the most loving choice. I can’t think of a more selfless act than to allow your own heart to break so that your sweet boy can gain the peace and rest he deserves after a lifetime of devotion. We spend years trying to give our beloved dogs a good life and we also owe them a peaceful goodbye. I always think it is better to say goodbye one day too early rather than one day too late and allow unnecessary suffering. If you wait too long, the choice may be taken from you. In my experience, a “natural death” is not usually a pleasant experience. I will attach links to other articles with more information and great comments from other readers. I hope you can find the answers you need to make the best choice for you and Jake, and one you can be at peace with. Praying for your strength and comfort. Bless you both.
1. Using a Quality of Life Scale for Dogs
2. Dementia in Dogs: When to Euthanize Your Beloved Senior Dog
3. In-Home Dog Euthanasia: Heartfelt Answers to 12 FAQs
4. How Will You Know When It’s Time to Euthanize Your Dog? 5 Caring, Heartfelt Messages
Peter Troiano says
I have rescued and provided end-of-life care to several senior Jack Russell Terriers. My current situation has an added element I find I am not prepared to deal with and could use advice. We took in two littermates in January 2020 when they were 10 years old. They will be 14 next month. The male, Jake, is in the early stages of dementia and has become increasing aggressive toward his sister, Jesse. It is heartbreaking to watch. Jesse is scared and on edge most of the time. Jake sleeps most of the day on pain killers and sedatives for anxiety, but he will not let us touch him or be near him and it gets worse into the evenings. I know the simple solution is to separate them and we keep them apart most of the time but it is taking a toll on everyone and both dogs are suffering in their own way.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Peter,
I am sorry you are in this difficult situation with your two senior dogs. While it is clear that Jesse’s quality of life has been negatively impacted, I am also concerned for Jake. It may be to a point where the only way to give Jake peace from his mental struggles is to say goodbye. Here is a link to another article with great information: Using a Quality of Life Scale for Dogs
I hope you can find the answers you need to make the best decision for everyone involved. Praying for clarity and strength. Bless you and your sweet pups.
Julia says
Thank you for this article. This decision we have to make is impossibly hard and it feels like no matter what we do, there’s guilt and grief that bears heavy on us. I appreciate your honesty and letting us know what to expect when we get there.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Julia,
I am sorry you are in this difficult situation. I hope you can find the advice you need to make a decision you can be at peace with. Bless you.
Jessica Duclos says
Dear Dr. Buzby,
Thank you for taking the time to write these articles. We have an appointment to put our almost 16 year old Chorkie named Lexie down this coming Friday, January 13th. She has dementia really bad and she has suffered from Canine Degenerative Disc Disease for years where now her back is arched and she has a difficult time walking and maintaining her balance.. She still has such an appetite and is drinking well, but her body has been failing her for sometime now. She was our first family dog together and has grown up with my daughter who was in first grade when we got Lexie and our daughter is now a senior in college. We are all so heartbroken, but we know it’s time and we don’t want her to suffer anymore. We had two cats years ago that we had to put to sleep a year apart from eachother and that was so difficult. Lexie grew up with those other two cats and was lonely when they were gone, so we ended up adopting 2 new kitties and all three of them have gotten along really well. I’m hopeful that our previous kitties, Buddy and Daisy, will be there to welcome Lexie and be with her again. If I could have one wish it’s that our pets could live longer because they offer the most purest form of unconditional love and acceptance. They truly are a gift to us all. Thank you again for the work that you do.
Sincerely,
Jessica
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Jessica,
I am sorry for your recent loss of Lexie. I can only imagine how much you must miss her, but what a blessing to have shared almost 16 years together! I hope her passing was smooth and peaceful. Thank you for the kind words. I am very appreciative of readers like yourself who are willing to share your experiences in hopes of being a comfort to others. May Lexie’s memory be a blessing to you and your family for years to come.
Kelly Williamson says
Your story is so very similar to mine right now. My dog, Roxie, has made it to the long age of 17. She has had dementia I believe for awhile- gets stuck under chairs, paces, has terrible incontinence issues, and walks with a back arched and legs often sliding behind her. Yet she occasionally gets this puppy look on her face and still loves food and drinks plenty of water. I know they say there is a right time so it does not go past that right time- but it never really feels right!
I hope your day brought you and your family peace. I know how difficult it probably was and still is. We have our appointment today- mostly due to finding a very abnormal growth on Roxie but over the weekend, my family discussed it might just be time to say goodbye to her. I still cannot accept this as happening but I know she is getting close to us feeling like we waited too long. You are right- it would be nice dogs lived longer since they are our family. I read something once where a little girl said after her pet passed that people have to live longer to make sure they love as much as they can- but dogs love so hard and so very much that it does not take as long for them to be here to give all their love. I think that is probably true.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Kelly,
Thank you for sharing your story with us. Your words are so full of truth and love. Dogs really do love hard and give of themselves completely. Humans have a lot they could learn from dogs. I am sorry for your recent loss of Roxie. My thoughts are with you as you navigate this new path forward without her by your side. May her memory be a blessing in your life. Wishing you all the best for a bright future.
Diane Aro says
Thank you so much for this article and for the space to let people express their emotions. We say goodbye to Lars, our 13 year old Chihuahua/Pug mix, this coming Monday. His kidneys are failing and, like so many others who have written, I struggle about the timing. I am sure we could keep him going for another month or two, but he is so afraid of the vet clinic now after numerous tests and injections that I don’t want him to have to go through any more frightening treatments. My heart is breaking, but I have to say that I’ve never been through anything worse than having my little Chihuahua, Louie, die in my lap after a series of seizures, when our clinic was closed and I could do nothing for him but watch him suffer. I am grateful – terribly sad, but grateful – that on Monday a vet will come to our house and help me say goodbye to Lars gently and kindly, the way I wish would have been possible with Louie.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Diane,
My heart aches for you with your recent loss of Lars. I am so glad you were able to say goodbye in your own home where he was most comfortable and surrounded by your presence. It is clear from your words how much you loved Lars, and I have no doubt he knew. I hope his passing was peaceful and smooth. Praying he is now at rest and with your sweet Louie. Thank you for being willing to share your story. Bless you and best wishes for a happy future.
Lucy says
Thank you this has given me some comfort as I lie awake ne t to my old dog at 3am after she woke up with a seizure. I’m preparing for the end and it’s a lonely time.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Lucy,
My heart goes out to you as you face these difficult times ahead. You are not alone. Bless you and your senior girl. ♥
Janet Scott says
Dr. Buzby,
This was an excellent article and roadmap for me. I am comforted by your words and compassion when dealing with the impending loss of a pet. Simply remarkable! I know it won’t be an easy process but this article has helped me more than words can say!
Peace and Blessings
Regards,
Janet
Julie Buzby DVM says
Hi Janet,
I am glad you found the article to be helpful and comforting during this difficult time. Thank you for the kind words. Bless you. ♥
Tara says
Thank you for these comforting words. Tomorrow we will help our sweet little pittie girl, Sloane, transition beyond her suffering before it becomes too immense. She’s so young and still full of joy and love, so it is incredibly difficult to say goodbye. She’s had a brief 6-7 week battle with aggressive B cell lymphoma and we’ve thrown everything at it despite an early misdiagnosis. It’s heartbreaking to see the rapid toll it’s taken despite our best efforts for remission. She’s brought us so much comfort and happiness in a dark time. Five and a half years is not enough. I will give myself grace knowing I’m not prolonging her suffering seeing her recent rapid decline and can give her peace without her experiencing any memories of substantial suffering. She has had the best days lately full of car rides, treats, and snuggles. Tomorrow will be devastating for our family.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Tara,
My heart aches for you with your recent loss of Sloane. I know the decision to say goodbye was terribly difficult. What a blessing to have given her so much joy in her last days and it sounds like she lived a happy life. Thank you for sharing your story. It helps others to know they are not alone and gives them hope. My thoughts are with you as you navigate a new path forward. May Sloane’s memory be with you always.
Rhonda says
Thank you for your compassionate words. I have known for some time that Toby has liver failure among other things. At nearly 17, this day has been inevitable, but I could not set up a time for euthanasia. It was a 3 seizure night. I am finally at peace and know the balance has tipped to a point where. he enjoys life less than he should. There is clarity.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Rhonda,
I am sorry you are in such a difficult situation with Toby. It is hard to watch a beloved pup’s health slowly decline. I am glad you found the answers you needed to make this emotional choice. When the time comes, I hope Toby’s passing will be smooth and peaceful. I have no doubt he knows how much he is loved. Praying for your strength. Bless you both.
Jessica says
I’m really glad I read this, I am having the hardest time right now knowing that I have to let my baby go! My baby boy is only 4.5 years old but was diagnosed with lymphoma almost 5 months ago 😪 he was misdiagnosed 4 times over about a 2.5 month period which causes a lot of wasted time treating him for things that were unrelated to his cancer, which lead to the conclusion that by the time we knew exactly what he had it had progressed so rapidly & he had already been taking prednisone for so long that the other treatments we tried didn’t work & he has been in a rapid decline ever since! We finally made the call on Monday to schedule a quality of life assessment & to put him to rest tomorrow afternoon and I am just an emotional wreck at this moment! He is so young, he has always been so healthy and strong until this happened, and it literally happened over night and just completely took over his body so fast that I feel so guilty for not knowing what it was earlier so that he had a better chance with a treatment! I am just having a very hard time with this, it does help seeing some of your stories and comments & knowing I’m not alone. But my heart is just breaking more and more by the minute knowing that I had to make the decision to put him to rest, even though I know he is ready. He’s lost 20 pounds in 3 months, all his lymph nodes are swollen so big & he just refuses to eat. He’s starting to limp and it almost looks painful for him to walk because the nodes in his groin are so swollen. I know he’s ready to go, but it doesn’t make the decision any easier! Thank you for sharing this & for everyone else sharing your experiences with this, please keep my boy in your prayers as we get through his last day with us!
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Jessica,
My heart goes out to you with the recent loss of your boy. I know you would have done anything to spend some extra time with him, but it sounds like saying goodbye was the most loving option. I hope his last day was full of joy surrounded by those who loved him most. Thank you for sharing your story with our readers. Praying your heart will be comforted by the memories of all the good times spent together. Bless you.
Michelle says
I have an appointment tomorrow (December 29th) with my vet to find out if it’s time to say goodbye to my 12 year old sheltie. It’s been hard watching her struggle with her footing and looking like she’s almost constantly uncomfortable, her sight is beginning to go, I stopped walks because she seemed to have a hard time, she likely has cancer and she’s beginning to lose weight. But she still eats well, is bright and looks forward to treats, potties with no problems. So I don’t know if now’s the right time or what. But this article has really helped, and I’m glad I found it.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Hi Michelle,
I am sorry you are noticing a decline in your Sheltie’s health. I think it is a good thing you are having her evaluated by your vet. What did you find out? I am glad the article was helpful and offered some comfort. Praying for you and your sweet girl. ♥
Kelly Sumner says
Thank you for this ❤️ I have scheduled euthanasia in my home for my beloved Bill, a pit mix that I rescued 7 years ago. I was told that he was 8 at the time, but not sure that is true. Regardless, we have had the best 7 years together, he has been my true companion. He tore his ACL last year and we nursed it to health rather than doing the surgery. Things were going so well, he was no longer wearing a brace, and then he tore his other ACL and life started to get difficult. He was in so much pain, miserable just laying in bed, and requiring a lot more help from me in ways that aren’t sustainable, so we decided to schedule him. Since then, the drugs have helped so much but I realize it’s just a cover up. I’ve dealt with a lot of guilt and found myself needing external validation, as if I feel like I’m giving up on him. But there comes a point where we have to look at everyone’s quality of life, and it just isn’t the same. We are planning a burger night for his last night and will say goodbye to him on Saturday morning. I just hope he understands how much I love him and that’s why I’m doing this. ❤️🩹
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Kelly,
I am sorry you had to say goodbye to your beloved Bill. You made a loving choice to let go and give him relief from his struggles and pain. It is clear from your words that Bill was a big part of your life, and he was well cared for. I am certain he knew how much you loved him and was comforted by your presence. I hope his passing was smooth and peaceful. May Bill’s memory be a blessing as you continue life’s journey. Wishing you happier days ahead.
Misty says
My mom passed away April of last year and my step dad in June of this year. Her little dog, Willie, did not recieve the best of care in my stepdads care. He wasn’t given his heartworm preventative and when I got him in June, he was heartwork positive, had glaucoma and was 10 years old. He had gotten worse and we have made the decison to let him go tomorrow. Its very difficult since he is my last connection to my mom. I really appreciate this information so I can be prepared for tomorrow.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Misty,
My heart aches for you and all the losses you have endured over the last year. I hope Willie’s passing was smooth and peaceful. I pray with time your heart will heal and you will be comforted by all the memories of times you shared with your family. Bless you. ♥
I-lost-my-girl says
Thank you for mentioning the part about administering a sedative before the final injection. This happened this way exactly on December 1st. My 12.9 year old lab was fine one minute then suddenly late in the evening entered into a medical crisis. I rushed her to emergency, and many tests later, it was confirmed she had a tumour on her spleen rupture. She was conscious but barely, and in shock. None of her vitals were good at all. At one point near the end, from being awake but non-responsive to any stimuli, she started to make light growly noises, and when the vet came back in the room, I told her “she’s not comfortable”. The vet said she would give her pain meds to help her feel more comfortable, and I was expecting to see my girl feel more at peace, but instead she started breathing really heavy and her eyes went grey. I had already consented to euthanasia but I didn’t realize that “pain medication” was actually the first injection to the process and that my girl would completely lose consciousness. I was there gripping her face/head the entire appointment, my head usually right on top of hers, but I didn’t say anything to her. I had nothing to say to her in those final moments, and wish I had known she was going to lose consciousness at that moment. I was so stunned about everything that seemed to be happening so fast that night, I was not really totally present either. I take peace in knowing I told my girl multiple times a day “I couldn’t possibly love you more, until tomorrow” and it was always so so true. I never left home without her since she was 7 weeks old. I truly hope she was not in pain or suffering, that her own level of consciousness and shock may have protected her during the 2 hours from when she fell ill to her final breath.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear I-lost-my-girl,
I am so sorry for the loss of your senior girl. I can only imagine the emotions and grief you are experiencing since saying goodby several weeks ago. I am sorry the level of sedation was a shock after the pain medication was administered. Even though your girl was seemingly unconscious, I have no doubt she knew you were right there with her and that your presence was a comfort. What a blessing you were able to stay by her side until her final moments. It is clear just how much she was loved, and I am certain she knew that too. May her memory be a blessing and I pray your heart will find peace.
Fernanda says
We had to Say goodbye to our beautiful Maya a week ago. She was diagnosed only a month ago with kidney disease, and no matter the treatment her body just didn’t respond to it, her labs just kept getting worse, she had lost so much weight, would not eat anything, we were already in talks to help her cross over in the next few days since we didn’t see any improvements and it was obvious that her quality of life had greatly diminished, when very suddenly, after IV fluids she started to have trouble breathing, it sounded literally like she was choking, it was so horrible to watch and to this day it haunts me. in that moment with no time to really think about it we knew that it was time. That no matter how we tried to help her, her body was tired, was not responding to any treatment, and that she was suffering and sadly it was time to let her go.
Something that has been troubling me is that at the moment, we had ZERO doubts in our decision, we knew that we were advocating for her, and just helping her cross over to the other side, where she would not be in any pain, and just free to run and eat as she pleased…but as days passed I began to feel really guilty, thinking that maybe we could have done something to help with her breathing, that maybe there was still something to be done, to save her, and i just feel so bad at the possibility that we might have let her go too soon, it’s just such a difficult time for us as family, we miss her SO much, and i know that the guilt it’s probably part of the mourning process… but still, i just hope we are able to heal our hearts
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Fernanda,
I am so sorry for your loss of Maya. You made a loving decision to give her peace and rest from her suffering. I understand you are grieving and burdened by the “what ifs”. You did right by your girl and did not fail her. Even if you could have fought to prolong her life and she became stable, how long would it have lasted? A few days? I always think it is better to say goodbye one day too early rather than one day too late and allow unnecessary pain and struggling. I can only imagine how much she is missed. I pray with time your heart will heal. May Maya’s memory be a blessing to you and your family.
Nick Fierro says
I’ve read your comments every day since the day we had to put down our first Doxie down 18 months ago. Since then we’ve lost 3 more Doxies, with the last being 2 days ago. All of them reached 17 years old or more. The sadness with everyone of them was always the same. We were always hopeful that we gave them the best life possible. The worst part was waiting for pain of missing them to ease up. It was different for each one. Thank You for listening!
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Nick,
I am so sorry you have been through the loss of all 4 of your sweet Doxies over the last 2 years. I can only imagine the emotions you are working through with this most recent goodbye. What a blessing you were able to share at least 17 years with each one of your pups. That’s a lot of good memories. ♥ I hope this new year will bring healing and comfort to your heart. Thank you for sharing.
Wendy says
My sweet furry baby is a 16.5yr old yorkie and his vet first gave me info about euthanizing in February of this year when she explained how his dementia was progressing along with congestive heart failure. He wears diapers 24/7 because he has no bladder or bowel control. He’s lost most of his hearing, vision and even sense of smell – but it’s just so hard to let go. Last week he had what was clearly a very painful (he was screaming!) seizure!! He’s NEVER done that before. The vet told me he’s really suffering. He doesn’t like to go on walks, he stares at doors/walls and really doesn’t even always recognize us. I’m praying God gives me strength to do what I know is right by him. I just feel so guilty. The vet has assured me I’ve done all I can for him, but I feel so unworthy to make a life/death decision. I just keep thinking if he’s still breathing and eating (a little) that he wants to live. Please assure me putting him to sleep is actually a final act of love as my vet has assured me it is. I am so heartbroken. 😢
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Wendy,
I am sorry your sweet boy is nearing the end of his life. I understand how difficult it is to make a choice to say goodbye. From what you describe, it does sound like he is struggling and letting go may be the only way to give him peace and rest. I always think it is better to say goodbye one day too early rather than one day too late and allow unnecessary suffering. I hope you can find the advice you need to make the best decision for you and your pup. Praying for your strength and comfort.
Taryn Lane says
Sitting here crying reading the blog and the responses, but I thank everyone for their stories because it’s making me feel not so alone in this journey. Our 11-12 year old Boston started having seizures in mid-August. All of his bloodwork and x-rays came back fine (really healthy for his age, actually), which means most likely a brain or sinus tumor. Given his age we decided not to do anything invasive, but just focus on medication symptom management. The seizures have gotten progressively worse and have started to cluster, plus he is now having anxiety and disorientation. He is on multiple (strong) anti-seizure meds and we have upped the dose multiple times; it works for at most 10 days before he has another single seizure, then a day or so later there’s another cluster. He recently had a very bad cluster and we made the call for at home euthanasia scheduled for tomorrow. The problem is, as many others have shared, he has good days. He hasn’t had a full seizure in almost a week (although there have been some focal ones). He certainly isn’t his normal self, but he isn’t in pain and I am so guilt-riddled about saying goodbye because of that. At the same time, I know that the next cluster is probably days away and will be even worse. Knowing that other people are here, have been here, and have made the same decision makes me feel, if not better, at least validated that I’m doing what’s best for him (although it’s not great for me). Anyway, thanks for the post, the comments, and the space to “vent.”
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Taryn,
I am sorry you had to face the difficult decision to say goodbye to your beloved boy. Allowing your own heart to break to give your sweet guy peace and freedom from his suffering is the most unselfish and loving choice you could make. I am glad you found some comfort from the article and comments from other readers. I hope with time your heart will heal. May the memories of your senior guy be a blessing to you as you continue life’s journey.
Paula Lopez says
Thank you for this blog … I found it while looking for something like this to give me some sort of peace…
Monday 12-12.22 we have scheduled to let go of our baby girl Noelle.. She is 16 1/2 and has deteriorated very much this past week. She’s a dachshund and our baby girl I can’t even believe that I’m writing this . She is blind and deaf, but was doing very well even with the disability. Monday of last week. Her front legs started to buckle every so often and although she is still walking and eating and drinking water. She seems tired and sad. She’s very uncomfortable even in her own bed tossing and turning to put her self in a comfortable position. As I sit here and I look at her, she looks for adorable self, but I don’t see that anymore when she’s up and about
When I take her out in our backyard, she will pee and then just stare and chooses not to move forward .
Last night I did not sleep as she had me up every hour and a half wanting to go out. She’s been drinking a lot more water than normal.
How do I live the next 48 hours doing that she will be gone after that? I don’t think I could bear to be in the same room when she takes her last breath.?
I can stop thinking that these moments will be coming to an end very soon.
The guilt of whether I’m making the right decision is consuming me. She has been with me through thick and thin the good the bad..
I know that she will not get better, but it still hurts to make this decision.
We chose in-house euthanasia because I don’t want her last moments to please put on a cold table set a roof is the familiar with But I don’t know if I could be next to her through the whole process, and that itself is killing me as I don’t want to leave her .
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Paula,
I am so sorry you had to say goodbye to your beloved Noelle. From what you described, you definitely made the right decision to give her peace and rest from her struggles. I hope her passing was smooth and you were able to find some comfort in the process as well. I know you are missing your sweet girl and her absence will leave a void in your life. I hope with time your heart will heal and Noelle’s memory will be a blessing. ♥
Jada says
Thank you so much for this article Dr. Budzy. We recently put our 6.5 year old golden retriever down. He had a couple of occurrences with bladder stones. The first time a couple of months ago we found out through an ultrasound that he was experiencing them. The doctor did not suggest surgery at that time but they did give him meds to take a week prior and they seemed to have helped and he had been urinating normally and didn’t seem to be in any pain anymore so as time went on we thought they had passed. A few days ago he was asking to go out more than Normal and he was whining and seemed like he was in pain so having seen familiar behavior from his previous encounter, I went outside with him to watch him urinate and there was hardly anything coming out (it was like a dribble). So I called the vet hospital and we took him in and after X-rays they said there were 20 or more stones in his bladder and one being lodged in his urethra causing a bladder obstruction. He was in pain and he was pacing and panting and panicking because he couldnt urinate. It broke my heart to see him that way. They said he would need surgery to remove the stones and he would have to be on a special diet the rest of his life and that it’s very common for stones to reoccur after surgery resulting in the same outcome of surgery again. We asked a thousand questions because we were confused and scared all at the same time because we didn’t want to see him go through this pain and surgery just for it all to happen again. We didn’t want him to suffer anymore. We loved our sweet boy more than anything. He was our first baby and my first dog (my husbands second). There is so much guilt and uncertainty in this hard decision we made but we felt that we didn’t want to put him through anymore pain and suffering. We are broken by this and our house will never be the same without our sweet boy. He will forever be in our hearts. ❤️
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Jada,
I am sorry for your loss of your Golden boy. These decisions are so incredibly difficult, and nothing is straight forward. You made a loving decision to offer your sweet guy peace and freedom from his pain. I have no doubt he knew how much you cared about him. I hope you will find comfort knowing he lived a happy life full of joy. May his memory be a blessing to you and your husband.
Kimberly Carelock says
Dear Jada,
I just wanted to share with you that my 4yo Yorkie had bladder stone surgery 3x and was facing a more invasive 4th when I chose to end his suffering. The surgeries were tough to heal from & left his bladder in bad shape & they always came back within 3 months. So please don’t feel guilty. It can easily be a never ending cycle of stones that is so painful for them. I hope you find comfort in all the good memories, Kim
Jessica Cook says
I have a 3 year old Beagle, my Reese Cup. She had a bladder full of stones and had them surgically removed in January 2022. Then, had her recessed vulva surgically repaired a few months later because it was thought to be causing uti’s which then caused stones to form. We have had multiple vet visits between then and now to keep an eye on her urine and do X-rays. She was all clear as of February 2023. Until she had a few accidents in the house and peed out 9 stones in my bedroom floor. We had a vet visit today and found her bladder is full of stones again. We’ve done the special diet ever since the bladder stone removal surgery over a year ago. The vet says we can try to dissolve the stones with the wet version of the special food (Hills c/d Science diet) and antibiotics. If that doesn’t work, surgery would be needed. I’ve spent well over $3k over this past year. And ironically I developed kidney stones myself and have been battling them since January 2023 and have been in agony at times. I say all of this because I don’t know what to do. When is it time to stop the cycle?
Julie Buzby DVM says
Hi Jessica,
I understand why you are frustrated and concerned about Reese’s well-being. If you are starting to question her quality of life, it may be time to think about a referral to a specialist. They can let you know if there are other therapies or treatments to try that may not be readily available in general practice. Without examining your girl, myself, it is hard to make specific recommendations. I pray you can find a way to restore her health and give her a chance at a long and happy future. Wishing you strength and clarity. Bless you both.
Shelley says
On November 25th, I said goodbye to my 14 and a half year old rat terrier, Bella. I really have been struggling whether I made the right decision or not. I have four other dogs, four rat terriers that range in age from 10 weeks to 5 years old and a chocolate lab- Springer spaniel that’s almost 11 years old. I tell you this because over the last year or so, Bella had become more aggressive toward the chocolate lab/spaniel and the five-year-old rat terrier. We could not keep the lab and Bella together at all and had to stand guard, always on edge between her and the 5-year-old terrier. In the mix, I became collateral damage a half dozen times.
I had taken Bella to the vet two to three different times to see if there was anything that I could do because she had bitten me at least four times, One vet said that can’t happen and that Bella won’t change. The other vet just listened and said when it was time to humanely euthanize her, to let her know. The vet commented that sometimes a day too early is better than a day too late.
On Thanksgiving night, Bella attacked my lab again when she was let outside. In fear of my 16 year old daughter, myself or one of the other dogs being injured or even worse, I made the decision to euthanize her.
All of my dogs used to play so well together and had no problems, so the aggression was definitely a change in Bella’s demeanor. She had lost weight (another pound in a month) despite the fact she was still eating, It would take her 3 to 4 times to eat her bowl of food which she used to eat it all at once. I noticed an increase in her shaking all the time. I wondered if her pain hadn’t increased. Within the last 2-3 months, she seemed to have her days and nights mixed up too. She would get up three four times a night and randomly roam, scratch your back, drink some water, or want to go outside. She also seemed like she was confused at times and the vet suspected doggy dementia.
About 3-4 years ago, Bella had a mast cell cancerous tumor removed by her ear, but she bounced back really well. That vet said she could get it back in the same spot or maybe some place else, but I never noticed any lumps or bumps on her.
The last time I took her in, was a month ago. I wanted to make sure I exhausted all possibilities before making the devastating decision to put her to sleep. I had been giving her Rimadyl for pain and she was also on dasaquin because she had surgery to repair her knee. My intention was to do blood work, but the vet said sometimes knowing there’s nothing in the test results could make it more difficult because there’s no reason for her behavioral and physical changes. To calm her anxiety, I was also giving her a quarter tab of trazodone. sometimes it worked, sometimes it didn’t.
It’s been a struggle and I’ve been in constant tears wondering if I made the right decision for Bella. and you’re all feedback would be welcomed. I miss her so much and I find myself constantly looking at the last couple of pictures I took of her.
I found this article and read it after the fact and some of the things were mentioned that I wish I would have known and done beforehand. My daughter and I did take her for a short walk and fed her some chicken nuggets. She had a lot of allergies, so she didn’t get a lot of extras other than baby carrots which she loved. I regret not doing more for and with her before euthanizing her, and I sure hope she knew that she was loved! It is not an easy decision to make and I wonder constantly if I made the right decision on her behalf. I have so much grief and guilt!! Did I do the right thing?
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Shelley,
My heart goes out to you with your recent loss of Bella. Yes, you most definitely did the right thing. From what you describe, it sounds like most of Bella’s issues (including the aggression) may have been due to canine cognitive dysfunction/dementia just like your vet suspected. Your vet was right that more than likely her blood work would have been normal. It can be so hard to make decisions about quality of life when most of the issues are mental instead of physical. But mental suffering can be just as bad, if not worse, than physical suffering. You made the most unselfish and loving decision to give Bella peace and rest. You did not fail her, and I have no doubt she knew how much you cared about her. After over 14 years of love and devotion, you chose to allow your own heart to break so Bella could be freed from her suffering. That is THE definition of love. I hope with time you will allow yourself some grace and find comfort in the memories of the good days. Bless you. ♥
Donna Greek says
We’re putting our 18 year old rat terrier Pixie to sleep Monday afternoon. She is our world and we will miss her so very much!! She is not herself and is not happy any longer. I will spend the day tomorrow holding her.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Donna,
My thoughts are with you as you go through these emotional days without Pixie. I hope her passing was peaceful and she was comforted with you by her side. What a blessing to have spent 18 years with your sweet girl. May her memory stay with you forever.
Dina says
Our beloved Mitzy (12 year old Shitzu/Yorkie mix) is in final stages of renal failure. We recently started noticing rapid weight loss, refusal of food, refusal of treats, frequent urinating, excessive drinking and larthargy and took her to the vet last week. We had no idea at the time what her ailment was. They admitted her for a few days of IV fluids because her creatinine, Bun & phosphorus were high. Her levels didn’t decrease much constant IV fluids. We brought her home after 3 days of intensive care. Our vet was optimistic that she may do well for a little while as long as we took her in for subcutaneous fluids once a week & even offered to teach us how to do at home. She was home one day and things started going down hill again the next. When we took her back 2 days later, her labs showed rapid decline as Creatinine and Bun were now off the chart meaning that she would not be able to be off IV fluids at all. We were asked if we were ready to make the decision to euthanize but neither of us could make that decision at that given moment. She was admitted again overnight on IV fluids. We cried all evening yesterday & this morning knowing that the best decision is to say goodbye. Our vet called this morning to tell us how she is doing and offered that he can get her full of fluids and allow us to take her home for Thanksgiving but advised that we will want to bring her back first thing Friday morning because she will be in the same state or worse again. We know this is not the answer so we have decided to have her euthanized this afternoon. This is the saddest day I’ve had in a very long time. It’s the hardest decision I’ve had to make. We’ve had our Mitzy Boo since she was only 8 weeks old and weighed only 1.3 lbs. She helped us thru empty nest syndrome the first year we had her and has been such a joy to us ever since. She’s our little girl. I sure wish there was a magic cure (I know there isn’t) and that our fur babies could live as long as we do. I swear she is the sweetest little dog that ever existed, not a mean bone in her body. I will forever love my girl and will miss her so much. My heart hurts so bad! I’m sorry for rambling….this is just so hard! I hate that her last days were at the vet also but I just can’t stand the thought of bringing her home again, her suffering more & the thought of having to take her back for that reason only kills my soul so I feel it’s best to let her go without all that. After reading your blog, I have decided to take her bed and to get her a chicken tender (her absolute favorite thing is chicken) as a last treat. I’m not sure she will eat it but I want her to feel our love and have the opportunity for that one last bite of her favorite thing. I’m so glad I stumbled up on this. It really helps to have read it. .
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Dina,
My heart goes out to you as you grieve the loss of sweet Mitzy. I agree you made the right decision to give her rest and end her struggles. I am glad you found some comfort from the article and hope Mitzy was able to enjoy her chicken. What a blessing to be by her side until her final moment. I have no doubt she knew how much she was loved. I hope with time your heart will heal. May her memory stay with you forever. ♥
Ana says
Hi,
I just wanted to comment because this is exactly what I’m going through with my 12 1/2 year old chug. We’ve been giving her fluids at home but her numbers worsened instead of improving and she has been doing all the things you listed as well. We have an appointment to put her down today and I have been physically sick and sobbing. I don’t really know what the point of my comment is but I wanted to thank you for yours because it is really reassuring and comforting to see someone who has a similar situation as I’m feeling a lot of guilt and hesitance. I’m sorry if this is just my ramblings but I’m so sorry for your loss and thank you
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Ana,
I am sorry for the loss of your sweet girl. I am glad you were able to find some comfort in knowing you are not alone. I hope your senior girl’s passing was peaceful. May your heart be comforted by the memories of the good times shared together. ♥
Sue Welsh says
Our little man is approximately 19-20 years old. He’s a rescue, I’ve had him almost 18 years. The vet said he was approximately 1 1/2 to 2 years old at the time. The first years of his life were awful, he was beaten badly and had been left on the street to die when found. He’s been deaf the whole time we’ve had him, assume he was born that way but potentially from the beating. The last almost 18 years of his life were very different. He was afraid of us at first, we learned that if we sat down he would feel safer to approach. He’s been loved on by my sons and I as a single Mom, and then by our blended family for the last 8 years. He always knew who was hurting over something and would give them extra love. He’s walked us through divorces and betrayal and death of family members. He’s never been aggressive in spite of how badly he was initially treated. One day I overheard my son that was 13 at the time say , you picked me because you knew I didn’t have any friends…. Little Bear did choose that son first to trust. I had to put one dog down before but there was no choice involved. Choosing to let go of this little guy that has been there so much for our family is killing me. We’ve been trying everything, but now his vision is gone too and his balance. I’ll come home to find him standing in a corner whimpering. He’s only 25 lbs, for the last few months I’ve had to carry him outside to do his business but he could walk around well out there, not anymore. Sorry this is so long. The kids are coming home for Thanksgiving- my husband says I should put him down first. I think they should say goodbye. I did appreciate your article a lot. Thank you…
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Sue,
I can feel the emotion in your words as you describe just how much Little Bear means to you and your family. I am sorry his body and mind are failing him but glad he is still surrounded by those who love him most. I understand how difficult this decision can be and my heart goes out to you as you navigate this tough path. I hope you can find the “right time” to say goodbye to your sweet boy. Praying for comfort for your heart and for your kids. Bless you and thank you for sharing your story with us. ♥
Lucyl says
Thank you for this blog, we have a Russian sheperd she is 2 years old, she is a very big dog but also very territorial. She is not a pet for a home, sadly my boyfriend got her as a puppy and he rehome her and then got her back. She have a lot of anxiety, fear agression. We love her deeply but we have so many different accidents because she is unpredictable. She guard the door most of the times and doesnt want to let us go out and tried to byte several times. She want to attack other dogs specially small and female too. She doesn’t do well we strangers we cannot bring any people to our apartment either. Sometimes she is obedient but most of the times she dont even let us put the leash on. We also got an accident with my boyfriend Mom’s, we went to visit them but she was on a kennel and it was not the bes situation and she end up byte her and it was not ok. We end up in very hard situation of putting her down, she can be trained but she is not going to be able to be “fixed” and stop being so territorial. Sometimes she is a sweetheart but most of the times she can be uncontrollable and unpredictable. My boyfriend decided to put her down this upcoming Monday, because no shelter will receive her specially because she have a byte history already. I feel so devastated and guilty for not giving her more time, I did a lot of research about her breed and they are a very rare breed dont not always end up in a family. I just want to feel we are doing the right thing, and that we tried, I love her so much and for me is so hard to let her go and think we are doing the right thing. Is so hard in many situations with her even to put her on a kennel and not to know what she is going to do next. Thank you everyone, and I hope someone can read my message and find some comfort words after this.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Lucyl,
My heart aches for you and this difficult decision you have had to make about your young Shepherd. Aggression issues are very serious and cause suffering for everyone involved, including your pup. I know the decision to say goodbye was extremely difficult, but I feel like you did what was best. Try not to dwell on all the “what ifs” and allow yourself some grace. I hope with time your heart will heal. Bless you. ♥
Cher says
Yesterday we had to say goodbye to our sweet 15 year old Pugoo. He was diagnosed three weeks ago with Stage 3 renal failure, two small masses in liver and gallstones, Also had a heart murmur detected two years ago. We decided to observe him over the holidays and saw that he had difficulty breathing, his rib cage expand, losing weight, extremely fatigued and clingy. It hurt us to see him suffering and the look of pain was overwhelming. I sensed him saying “Mom let me go”. The day before his appointment I took him to his favorite place -the beach. He enjoyed sniffing the grass, kelp, driftwood and sand. I gave him all the time in the world and let him lead the way. He was content and free exploring. Bet it was one of the happiest days for him. I gave him tri tip his favorite food. The next morning we went to the Vet and he knew something was up as he was shaking like crazy. Been there for many visits and familiar but that day was different for him. He knew. We elected to have him put to sleep there because we thought it would be less traumatic for our kids. Wish I had him put to sleep at the beach instead. I requested that the Vet allow me to hold Sam during sedation but opted to not be present during euthanasia. The thought of him gasping for his last breath was unsettling. Also being the highly emotional type I didn’t want Sam to sense my deep sadness and angst. He quickly melted in my arms during the sedation and the Doctor took him away. The last memory of my sweet boy was seeing him limp and sleeping. We immediately left and I wailed in the car in total disbelief that I let him go. Why? I now feel guilty that I should have been there while he took his last breath. I wish I could rewrite the ending. There are so many “what ifs”. Wish I could have done more for him. Did he look for me when he took his last breath? I feel like I failed him.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Cher,
My heart goes out to you as you work through your grief of losing Sam. I can only imagine how much you miss him. What a blessing you were able to spend one last wonderful day together at the beach. I have no doubt Sam knew how much he was loved. Please don’t beat yourself up over saying goodbye after the sedation. I am certain the sedative had your sweet boy completely relaxed and he was comforted by the presence and voices of the veterinary staff. I have done many euthanasia’s without the owner present, and we always make sure to love on those pups and see they are well cared for until their last breath. I hope with time your heart will heal and you can allow yourself some grace. May Sam’s memory be a blessing to you and your family as you continue life’s journey. ♥
Kris says
Hello and thank you for your article. Even though I’ve had to put several dogs down it does not get any easier for me. Our 7 year old choc lab, Max, was being treated for allergies since August. When allergy medicine wasn’t working and he was actually getting sicker (reverse sneezing started) we went to vet for CT scan. It was a nasal tumor which I have learned is one of the most painful of cancers for dogs. I will be putting him down this Friday and it’s so hard seeing him now knowing he won’t be here Friday night. It’s heartbreaking. I sure hope dog heaven exists and I sure hope I can see him again some day. Dogs are taken way too soon. In such a short period of time they leave such a lifetime of love though. Love you forever Max!
Julie Buzby DVM says
Hi Kris,
I am so sorry you had to say goodbye to Max. You made an unselfish choice to free him from his suffering and struggles. I can only imagine how much he will be missed but have no doubt he was well loved. Thank you for being willing to share your experience with us. May Max’s memory live on and give you peace.
Jen Shepard says
Thank you for this article. Our, (I can’t even put it into words), baby Savannah is leaving us tomorrow. I’m sad that she has declined so fast that her greatest joy, food isn’t a pleasure to her anymore and we don’t get to have a really good send off for her last day. That’s so hard! I am glad she won’t be in pain any longer and I appreciate you mentioning that hearing is one of the last things to go, so we’ll be telling her how much she’s meant to us and how much we’ll miss her. I don’t know what lies beyond but I hope she finds my Mom and jumps all over her with kisses like she used to love to do. Anyway, Thank you. And thank YOU Savvy Jane for coming into our lives and changing it forever and for the best. ❤️
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Jen,
My heart aches for you and your recent loss of Savannah. I am glad you were with her during her final moments. I am sure it was a comfort for her to hear your voice and feel your presence. I have no doubt she knew how much she was loved. May her memory be a blessing that follows you the rest of your life. ♥
Anthony J. Castelli says
I feel your pain, our Husky (sitka) is 11, what started as a nasal infection I thought was really the worst. Sitkas left eye is bulging and does not push in, her head is swollen, and she went through the nose bleeds and reverse sneezes. She is the most kind and gentle dog I have ever had. She would never hurt a fly, and still jumps and plays. We have an appointment to put her down tomorrow, and it’s killing me inside, hence why Im on this site. Trying to keep my mind off things but I can’t believe im doing this. Just font want any more bad days ( nose bleeds and sneezes) she is a trooper and would probably tske the pain just so I can see her every day
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Anthony,
I am so sorry for your loss of Sitka. I can only imagine the grief you must be experiencing without your girl by your side. You made a loving and selfless choice to allow your own heart to break so she could find peace and rest. I hope her passing was smooth and she was comforted by your presence. May her memory be a blessing as you continue life’s journey.
Valeria Stanton says
I had to say goodbye to my best friend and soul dog yesterday morning. It was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done in my life. He had mast cell tumor and the vets said they would be surprise if eh lived past 2 months past surgery given how aggressive the cancer was. He was able to live 4 months, I’m so proud of him, of the fighter he was, how much he loved life and for all the things he taught me.. The last 3 weeks things changed extremely drastic, his tumor grew and spread on his face, it was manageable October 15th but a few days later it just got worse and worse, he was bleeding, in pain and although he still loved eating, laying at the balcony, going to the parks, I could tell that the pain was bigger than the happy moments. I felt so guilty having to ask them to come the next day (I contacted them on Wednesday), I barely had time to properly be with him because I couldn’t get home from work until close to 5pm. I made him a special dinner: steak, mashed potatoes, veggies and hotdogs and blueberry muffins for dessert. He ate like a champ and anything I was eating and he would as I gave it to him. The next day I gave him chicken and veggies, muffins, his dad and step mom got at my house about 30 min before the vet arrived. Gave him Turkey meat, hugged him. The vet arrived and he was extremely kind and we felt extremely comfortable with him. I couldn’t help but feel I was betraying Smokey, by introducing him to a “friend” and thinking he was coming to visit. The vet explained the procedure, we went to the balcony, hugged him kept feeding him while the vet applied the sedative on his neck, Smokey is strong and fought the sedative, after a few minutes he gave him a bit more of the sedative. Smokey kept eating, I kept petting him, hugged him but all of sudden he started to show fear, he kept trying to go away from his bed as if he was trying to scape, the vet explained he would probably fall on the hard floor if we let him walk so we kept putting him on his bed, the same time saying it’s ok baby, go night night but he wouldn’t stop trying to get out. So eventually I set on his bed and placed his had and paws on top of my leg, he still tried getting out a few times while being held and I kept telling him everything was ok and holding more as of a hug but still in place. I can’t help but be traumatized with the thought that my dog’s last feeling was fear. I can only imagine what it feels like to be in fear, not know what’s going on and be held in place. I wanted to ask if that’s normal, did I do the right thing by holding him so he wouldn’t fall in the concrete balcony floor. Did I let my dog go on fear? I wanted to stop it so bad but I knew my dog was in pain and that letting him rest was the best decision for him but the last moment of his life traumatized me because I prayed so much he would have a tranquil and peaceful passage. I just want to make sure he didn’t think I was hurting him by not letting him run away.. and that he didn’t leave this world witu fear.
I miss him dearly, I see him everywhere in the house. I have a knot in my stomach and a feeling of emptiness, guilty and many other feelings all at once. Smokey was my best friend and soul dog and I never felt a love like I felt for him.
Thank you for taking the time reading my comment ❤️
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Valeria,
My heart aches for you with your recent loss of Smokey. From what you are describing, Smokey’s reaction sounds like what I have seen many times with my own patients during euthanasia. They try to walk around, not out of fear but more out of feeling a little “drunk”. The sedative takes away pain but also can make them feel a bit dizzy and uncoordinated. I definitely do not think you caused any type of trauma by holding him in your arms. This was probably the most comforting thing you could have done for your sweet boy. I truly don’t feel like Smokey’s last moments were negative or fearful in anyway. What a blessing for you to be by his side. I have no doubt he knew how much he was loved. Try not to dwell on the “what ifs” and allow yourself some grace. You made the most loving and selfless choice you could which gave your pup the peace and rest he deserved after a lifetime of devotion. May his memory be a blessing as you continue life’s journey.
William says
Smokey loved you more than anything else in the whole world. He loved you more than he loved himself. He knew you would never, ever hurt him. Give yourself peace knowing that you looked after your loyal friend till the end. The decision is never easy.
Nicole says
Thank you for this article. Tomorrow it is looking like my sweet Bongo will be crossing the rainbow bridge. I am shattered, he’s been my boy for the last 10 years. I had another dog when I was a kid that I didn’t get to say goodbye to and it left this giant hole in my heart. Enter Bongo, I saved him from a kill shelter when he was just a few months old. He’s been with me through my first marriage which didn’t end well and into my second marriage, two babies, and the loss of my grandparents just a few months ago, plus an interstate move. He’s been my everything and my best friend through everything and I am SO unbelievably heartbroken. I plan to hold his paw and continue to tell him how much I love him, although we have another dog already she isn’t my Bongo and he will be missed for the rest of time.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Nicole,
I am sorry for your recent loss of Bongo. He sounds like a once in a lifetime kind of pup and I know how difficult it can be to continue on without a beloved dog by your side. I am glad you were with him during his last moments. I have no doubt he was comforted by your presence and knew how much he was loved. I hope with time your heart will heal. May Bongo’s memory be a blessing that stays with you for the rest of your life. ♥
Christina says
Thank you for this article. It has helped me find a little bit of comfort in making the decision to say goodbye to my sweet sweet girl Dixie.
She is only 3 years old and was diagnosed with Lymphoma at the beginning of July this year. It just doesn’t seem fair that we have to say goodbye to her at such a young age, but I know she was put on this earth for a reason. This weekend we went ahead and gave her her fun day and baked a cake for her to celebrate her 4th birthday. While her birthday isn’t until December 15th, I thought it would be a nice way to celebrate her. She has been the light in my life since the day I got her. She loves to cuddle and play with her brother Jack. This is the hardest decision I have ever had to make but I know it is the right one.
Thank you for sharing this wisdom with us grieving pet parents and I hope others can find comfort like I did from this article.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Christina,
I am so sorry you are having to say goodbye to Dixie after only 3 years together. Cancer can be so cruel, and my heart goes out to you as you deal with this emotional decision. I am glad your sweet girl was able to enjoy her early birthday party. Praying her final days will be filled with love and joy. Bless you and your pup.
Jessica says
My heart goes out to you, I am in the same situation with my 4.5 year old boxer/bully mix 😪 he was diagnosed with lymphoma almost 5 months ago and tomorrow we have to say goodbye to him. They misdiagnosed him 4 times before we found out it was cancer so by the time we found out it was too late for any treatment to help him. I know it’s the right decision, but it doesn’t make it any easier having to make it! I’m making him a cake today & cooking him a steak for dinner! I’m going to try to make this the best day ever for him! Thank you for sharing your story ❤️
isa says
I will be euthanising my 16 year old border collie in an hour. I spent all day with her today told her everything I wanted her to hear, the great memories we made, adventures we shared, the travels around Asia before making it back to Oz. We had salmon for b’fast and lean beef burgers for dinner last night.
She is suffering now I felt her pain during the night and noted her deterioration over the weekend just gone. You know when its time. Its still a damn hard road to go down with them everything is going in slow motion today and you wish time would just go a little slower. I loved reading about one of the owners putting their hand on their heart I will do that and thank you for the preparation steps. I’m scared shitless she is a smart dog and will know what’s going on soon, its the kind thing to do a gift of peace calm and eternal rest. I hope she gets her legs and speed back up in dog heaven maybe even herd some sheep.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Isa,
Thank you for being willing to share your thoughts and feelings with us. Your girl was lucky to have had you in her life for so long. It sounds like it was an amazing life full of joy and adventure. I hope her passing was smooth and peaceful. My heart goes out to you as you navigate this new path forward. May her memory be a blessing.
Eva Howard says
This article is wonderful and soothing–thank you.
I am preparing for my Kirby’s loss. He turned 17 in August ( he is a shepherd, hound, ?? mix) and has been a blessing and exasperation every day of his life. And I wouldn’t change a thing. I do realize that it is amazing that he is still here and I daily remind myself of that even as I begin to grieve his upcoming loss.
About two years ago, he started with fecal incontinence (thankfully, it’s always well formed and easy to deal with) and then added in some weakness in his back legs– we started the toe grips, which are life savers. That along with Paw Friction, Acupuncture, Chinese herbs, some dog rehab, and some cold laser therapy that I do at home daily, have given us these past two years since he first stumbled (three if we make it to January-which I doubt). Kirby is NOT in pain, and my vets, and rehab person agree-if he was that decision would have already been made and I wouldn’t be doing all these other therapies. But since he isn’t in pain, I want to know that I have done all that I could for him.
Kirby is engaged– he wants to run ,and can until he stumbles, then I have to pick him up and have him balance again. As long as that cognition is there and he’s not in pain we will ride this roller coaster.
I call it a roller coaster because there have been a couple of times that I thought it was time to make the call– but with a change in meds, he rallied and still goes on.
The most recent one was last week. A major change in weather (95 to 45) hit him hard and he couldn’t walk at all. I actually had someone come and dig his hole on Monday. With winter coming, I’m glad I did because it will be ready when it is time. (and it will keep me from delaying once his time is obvious.). But it isn’t quite yet.
I discovered he had a double ear infection and that was why he didn’t have any balance–never been so happy to have a dog with an ear infection before.
We added in some gabapentin and that along with his Novox and Adamantine, has helped.
He is weak and getting up on those back legs is difficult. He is more frustrated than anything and as long as that is the main issue, we will continue.
But it is hard, especially when you know it is imminent…
Caregiver exhaustion is real and since I am his only human, it does fall to me. In the mornings when he is stiff when he needs to be lifted up one more time, I wonder when it will end–but the next moment I am thrilled that it hasn’t yet.
When the time does come, one thing I have learned is that it is a gift– I used to think I was paying someone to kill a family member– I no longer feel that way and in some ways hope that I do get to make the decision and he doesn’t go on is own..so that I am with him and he knows he is safe.
When I lost my yorkie Blu a few years ago, I was holding her and happened to have my hand on her heart and could actually feel when it stopped–I will attempt to do that again, with Kirby and my others when their time comes– it was a horrible, beautiful moment and actually helped to give me some peace. But that is my coping mechanism– find the one that works for you and know you are doing one last loving act with your baby.
Will Kirby make it another week , month, year??? — who knows, but I do know that I do have a plan in place for when it does happen. And no matter when, I will be devastated but thankful.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Eva,
Thank you for sharing your experience with our readers. It is clear how much you love Kirby, and he is a lucky boy to have lived his life with you by his side. I hope when the time comes everything will be peaceful and go smoothly. Praying for your strength and comfort for your heart. Give your sweet boy a hug for me. ♥
Rene E Louzon says
I’m so sad to say that tomorrow I’m euthanizing my 19 years old Jack Russell terrier Mickey, he’s blind and deaf, his hind legs give out all the time, he has dementia/CCD, I have to carry him outside to go to the bathroom, he stopped eating 3 days ago, I don’t sleep much anymore because I’m up with him all the time, this is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do, I’ve made arrangements for the vet to come to my house to put him to sleep.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Rene,
My heart goes out to you as you work through the emotions of saying goodbye to your senior pup. I am glad you were able to have the vet come to your house and allow your sweet boy to stay where he was most comfortable. I hope his passing was smooth and peaceful. May Mickey’s memory be a blessing.
Taylor says
Hi Eva,
I have a similar scenario. My pug is 16 and 4 days ago started having problems with his back legs and sometimes his front. Last night he had a very rough night where he started getting scared when he wasn’t able to move, and would cry and screech. It kept me up alllll night and I am 20 weeks pregnant. He was shaken up all day long and the vet recommended it be time. In my heart I don’t feel it is time. We took him home today and he started walking occasionally on the carpet!
I am wondering if he will be similar to your Kirby in that he will have stumbling days and good days. I have to carry him everywhere and I worry about his quality of life and if I’m being selfish. But I’m glad I didn’t let him go today. I have never had to do this before but I think it will be based on a a lot of heart and intuition.
Thank you for your comment, it has given me some confidence in my decision making.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Taylor,
I am glad you were able to find comfort in the experiences of other readers. You are absolutely correct that deciding when to say goodbye is often based on intuition and a gut feeling that can’t adequately be described. I am glad you still have your little buddy with you, and he has made some improvements over the last few days. Wising you both the best. Bless you and congrats on your pregnancy!
Ann says
With a heavy heart my friend has to put her loving companion down this coming Monday. Max is more than a companion, but her service dog as well. They both can’t be apart from the other. We chose Monday so all that has been close to Max can have a funeral and say our final good byes. He’s had arthritis for years and he’s now falling when taking walks, slow moving and even today besides diarrhea he was secreting a watery mix of yellow pussy looking with a bit of blood from his rear So he must be suffering as he’s now 14 years old. My friend even took a quiz and most of the answers were yes. Everyone says it’s time. She had him since he was 7 to 8 years old. His previous owner was elderly and had to give him up. Max was able to reconcile with his original owner a few years ago before Covid. The joy to see them both reunited was priceless. So I’m there to offer comfort and support to both Max and my best friend to help her with this difficult decision. However she did make arrangements ahead of time as ‘Lap of Love’ will be coming in for a home euthanizatiion. Then her local ‘Pet Passages’ will pick him up to be privately creamated. I read your blog and it reminded me of my pit bull mix named Sandy. She was only 7 when she was put to sleep. I didn’t even know home Euthanasia existed before now. I held her even after her last breath in the vets office. I wish I could had offered her more comfort. It was so fast. It was also on ‘Good Friday’. That we had to put her to sleep. We have another dog now but he’s 12, though you’d never know it as most think he’s a puppy as he jumps, loves walks and loves to run. However I’ll never forget my Sandy as I remember the day we picked her up as she was the runt of the litter. Though thank you as reading this blog will help with the preparations of Max.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Hi Ann,
I am sorry your friend had to say goodbye to her beloved pup, Max. From what you described, it sounds like his health was declining fast and letting go was the only way to give him peace and relief from suffering. I am sure it is comforting to have you by her side through this difficult process. Thank you for the kind words about the article. Bless you both.
Melissa says
this is hard. ive been thru ot a few times n it never gets easier now its almost time to put my baby boy monkey down he gunna be the hardest one he was like MY first baby boy a family dog but my dog he went EVERYWHERE with me he even saved my life a few times n i saved him a few times also he is a tuff boy who has been thru alot his esophagas or trach is collapsed he contstsntly coughing hacking n panting his tounge starts turning blue from lack of oxyget he got a bad back n back legs he not walking more then like 3 steps n stumbling or stopping to b picked up he cant hold his pee in he still eating fine n barks wen he wants ur attention or growls n barks like a maniac wen u do something he dont like he is one of a kind dog very moody but not vicious 😞 i swear he caused his own collapesd trach because all his non stop barking b!+ching n growling . this is hard at times i feel is his time i kno he tired 😫 and then i feel he not ready yet chiding to end a life is one of the hardest things its great our pets don’t have to suffer in pain like us humans do until we just drop but having to decide wen sucks n u always question was it the right time did i do it to soon or to late? is he ready to leave us? the whole thing just sucks
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Melissa,
I am so sorry your sweet boy is nearing his final days. You are right that this decision is never easy and sometimes isn’t clear. Have you talked to your vet about your dog’s quality of life? They should be able to help guide you and let you know if they think saying goodbye is the most loving option. Even if you are not ready to let go yet, you can look into hospice care to make sure your boy is as comfortable as possible during these last days. I hope you can find the answers you need to make the best choice for you and your pup. Wishing you strength and comfort during this difficult and emotional time.
Yeliz Mustafa-Dunbar says
This is the first time me and my husband are having to make this kind of decision. Our GSD dog is nearly 9 years old, he has food allergies, skin allergies and hip dysplasia, he has been on medication for nearly 4 years now, managing his skin issues, a special diet managing his food allergies and pain killers for his hips.
More recently his skin issues have worsened with sores, on his hind legs and covering all of his underneath, he is itchy and uncomfortable and his back legs have become weaker, struggling to get up the stairs comfortably and can no longer do a short block walk without his left hind leg scraping along the floor.
We are at the stage now where the steroids he has been on for the past 3+ years are causing him more internal damage than good and the old and new medication for his skin just isn’t getting his sores from his skin allergies under control.
The vet has told us that she will fully support the decision to put our poor boy to rest, she predicts only another 12 months if that before his back legs completely fail on him.
I know deep down it is the right thing to do but I can’t help but feel like I am “putting a healthy dog down” even though the poor boy is far from that, but his mind doesn’t know that, he still greets you wanting to play and with a huge wagging tail but at the same time is so uncomfortable, itchy and tiers easy.
I really like the article, in particular giving your dog a special treat just before their last moments as our poor boy is so very, very limited on what he can eat.
I know I have done everything I can to keep him as comfortable as he has been for the past 3+ years with medication, time and effection. I guess I am looking for some kind of reassurance, someone who has been in a similar situation to us? to know this awful guilt isn’t because we will be doing the wrong thing but because it is quite simply one of the hardest things any pet owner will have to decide to do.
Has anyone had to make a decision to let their dog go because they have many bad health problems which can no longer be controlled by medication but still has a dog that seems fit and well in their mind, how did you get through the guilt and knowing deep down it was for your dogs benefit?
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Yeliz,
My heart goes out to you as you face this most difficult decision. It is clear from your words just how much you love your senior guy. I know it is hard when there is no absolute right or wrong answer. Here is a link to another article about evaluating quality of life: Using a Quality of Life Scale for Dogs
I hope you can find the answers you need to make the best decision for your sweet boy and one you can be at peace with. Sometimes saying goodbye is the most loving option and the only way to give a beloved pup relief from their suffering. It is not wrong to let go if the bad days are outweighing the good. Hoping you can find clarity and comfort in this emotional time. Bless you both.
Glenster says
Lily is all cataracts, dementia, wobbling on her hind legs, she gone deaf and rambles about aimlessly. She took a hard fall off of our small retaining wall onto the sidewalk, and the double thud was horrible. She lay there almost knocked out. This fall was the worst of many she’s had in the past few months. I grabbed her, walked inside to my Wife and said we’d have to put her down tomorrow. The problem is my hard headed Wife always says “No”. The dog is “gone”, getting worse, and my wife is in this denial. And worse, Lily “ones” and “twos” all over the house. I am shampooing 2 to three times a day even though we take Lily out frequently to do here thing, and there are pee pads all over the house. I hug the dog often, but she always shakes it off and is only at a comfortable peace in my Wife’s arms or lap. Lately, they don’t sleep together, as we trap Lily in the office to contain her messes in there. It is easier to clean off of the wooden floor. I love the dog, but I can’t do this anymore. It is a burden to clean so often, and it hard to watch Lily deteriorate. If I take it upon myself to have Lily euthanized, Carmen will hate me. Also, I will be a sobbing mess, even though I’ve read your tips on how to prepare for bye bye. I need Carmen to be on the same page, and stop being selfish. Lily is in bad shape, and I am sure she was hurt by tonight’s fall. and it’s just going to get progressively worse.
I am stuck between a rock and a hard place, and have been pouring tears reading your article and the associated comments. But I am better prepared thanks them. What shall I do?
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Glenster,
My heart goes out to you with this difficult situation you are in with Lily. It definitely sounds like her health is deteriorating and she is nearing the end of her days. I am not sure there is much I can do to help your wife come to terms with this impending goodbye. The only thing I have to offer is information. I will attach links to other articles with more details and advice/comments from other readers that may help to make this hard decision more bearable. I do think it is better to say goodbye one day too early rather than one day too late and allow unnecessary suffering. There is no greater act of selflessness and love than to allow your own heart to break so that your dog can find peace and rest. I am sorry you even have to make this choice. I pray for your strength and comfort as you navigate the unknown road ahead. Wishing the best to everyone involved.
1. Dementia in Dogs: When to Euthanize Your Beloved Senior Dog
2. Using a Quality of Life Scale for Dogs
3. How Will You Know When It’s Time to Euthanize Your Dog? 5 Caring, Heartfelt Messages
4. Dog Euthanasia: Knowing When to Say Goodbye
Nena says
We said goodbye to our sweet, gorgeous boy Samson today and it was so so hard. Everything went as you described, but we still feel guilty and really hope he was at peace. He had kidney failure and deteriorated very quickly so we know it was the best thing for him. Our house feels empty and our hearts hurt – sending love to everyone who has lost a fluff-ball, and big hugs.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Nena,
My heart goes out to you as you work through your grief over the loss of Samson. Praying for your healing and comfort. May his memory be a blessing.
Brittany says
Hi Dr Buzby, thank yo for writing your articles. I have found them to be very helpful and calming during this time.
My dog Max is a Lab Retriever and just turned 13 a few weeks ago. Max has had very bad arthritis and has been on pain medication for the past few years along with thyroid medication. He struggles to get up on his own and sometimes needs assistance from us. Sometimes after a little work on his own he can get up on his own. He is in pain from the years of arthritis, but still enjoys his short walks even tho his back feet drag more now. When he stands we can head the crackling noises from the arthritis. It’s been a tough few months as he recovered from GDV about 5 months ago. He still has a very good appetite almost devouring it as soon as it’s sat down in front of him. We are planning to move forward with euthanizing here in a few days, but I am really struggling if now is the right time and if it’s too early. He still seems to have good days which makes me question if it’s the right time. I however know that he will continue to be in pain as the arthritis progresses.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Brittany,
I am sorry Max is struggling from arthritis pain and mobility issues. He has been through so much recently and I think it is very loving of you to want to spare him from any future suffering. I would rather say goodbye a day early than a day too late. I hope you will find comfort knowing you gave Max a long happy life. Praying for your strength during this difficult process. May his memory be a blessing.
Alayna says
This story has brought me the comfort I’ve been looking for for weeks. My bulldog pit mix turned 14 three months ago and has had nerve pain & arthritis for a few years. We are at the point of either putting him on more drugs or saying goodbye. Tomorrow he will be put at rest and I’ve had panic attacks for two weeks over it. I feel like I’m letting him down.. but I own him peace. He’s been my therapy dog and my rock since I adopted him when he was 8. He’s helped me with my anxiety disorder and depression. I have two other younger dogs that will& do bring me comfort, but nothing can ever replace Buddy. It’s the “good days” that has made this complete torture. Am I giving up? … I know I’m not, but the guilt has been overwhelming. I’m hoping I can continue to cope and find peace. Thank you Dr Buzby and Brittany so much.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Alayna,
My heart goes out to you as you navigate this new path forward without Buddy. I hope his passing was peaceful and I have no doubt he knew how much he was loved. Your sweet boy sounds like a once in a lifetime kind of pup. May his memory be a blessing.
Devon says
Thank you very much for this. Tomorrow morning I’m saying goodbye to my little lhasa, Ry. It’s been a really difficult decision because it’s been so hard to figure out if he’s going to recover after the surgeries he has had. But he’s in so much pain and so scared and I’d rather spare him any more suffering, even if sticking it out could mean a little more time. I’ve been having a hard time not thinking that I’m giving up on him or something though. I don’t feel like I even have room in my body for how much I love him. But it’s comforting to know that the guilt and uncertainty is so common. I read somewhere else from a vet tech that it’s better to make the decision early than too late and I’ve been reminding myself of that. Thank you for this kind post.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Devon,
My heart goes out to you as you work through the emotions of saying goodbye to your little guy. It sounds like letting go was the only way to spare your pup from additional struggling and pain. You made the most difficult decision from a place of love, and I have no doubt that Ry knew how much you loved him. I hope everything was smooth and peaceful. May his memory be a blessing and a comfort to your heart.
Lynnsie Ruffino says
Thank you SO MUCH for writing this!!! I just found out today that I am going to have to put my 17 yo vizsla down…..my FIRST DOG EVER (I had no idea I could love something THIS much…..or that anything could love me as much as she does……..I am 46 yo single female w/o kids…..she IS my kid….I owe her my life, she single handedly got me thru a hellacious divorce and subsequent depression…..she was the only reason I had to get out of bed most days). Anyways…..she has developed cancer that is in the bladder, spleen and liver…..but is not yet in pain. I have planned how I will be putting her down, at home, coordinated with my vet and what to do afterwards (cremation etc)….where I’m lost and really need help is the WHEN. My vet has said that if she was her dog, she would enjoy her for the time I have and then when she stops eating and becomes somewhat lethargic (as she says most likely this is what the end will look like), then it’s time. That how she would personally handle it. But there’s a huge part of me that doesn’t wish to let it get to that point. The mass in her spleen could rupture and that just sounds painful. She’s had pancreatitis, which was also painful…..I just need help. Should I perhaps do it sooner rather than later, while she’s happy, feels good, has an appetite? There was a quote in the letters above “a month early is better than a day late”……..I can’t get that out of my head. I want to spare her as much suffering as possible. Do you have any advice regarding this matter? I feel like I’m losing my child.. I’m a mess. But I can’t imagine I’m ever going to be ready. It’s taking all the strength I have to not put her through chemo and radiation just to keep her alive longer……which just seems like the more natural thing to do. But I know it’s the quality of her life that I need to prioritize. Any thoughts? Suggestions? Thank you again for writing on this most painful, stressful, and difficult of topics. I haven’t felt this “not alone” in months.
Cheers
Lynnsie
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Lynnsie,
I am sorry your sweet girl is nearing the end of her life. What a blessing to have shared 17 years together. She truly sounds like a once in a lifetime kind of pup. I think it is such a loving and unselfish act to be considering saying goodbye to your girl before she is really suffering. Allowing her to find peace and rest with some dignity still intact would be such a gift. I know letting go will be painful, but you are right…. it’s all about her quality of life. If she were my own beloved pup, I would want to avoid her spleen rupturing and a bleeding event any way I could. I hope you can find the advice you need to make the best decision for you and your senior girl. Praying for your strength and comfort. Bless you both. ♥
Marlene says
Thank you for this story. I made the appointment today to put down my 10 year old big baby boy. He has been such a blessing in my life and will be the second dog I’ve had to put down. My first I now feel like I waited too long for selfish reasons. I didn’t want to let her go. She lost a lot of weight, eventually lost her sight and couldn’t control her urination. I waited too long. Now my boy is diagnosed with prostate cancer and is unable to urinate on his own. He is still the happiest boy which makes this so much more stressful and sad and insanely unfair. Appetite is still there, still loves playing with his ball outside and just wants to still cuddle. It makes me feel guilty and I’m constantly questioning if it’s too soon. But I keep replaying the first time. I don’t want to see him deteriorate further.
Thank you again. This has made me feel slightly better.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Marlene,
My heart goes out to you as you face this difficult decision about your dog’s quality of life. I am sorry cancer has caused him to struggle and will make you say goodbye way too soon. I am glad you found some comfort from the article and comments from other readers. May your sweet boy’s passing be smooth and peaceful. Bless you both. ♥
Teresa Burkhardt says
I feel that it was meant for me to find this blog, because I really need help and advice to make the most difficult decision. I have read each and every comment and every reply. My sweet girl, Lucy will be 15 in February. She has been my constant companion and has always loved hiking, walking, and of course chasing squirrels! Now, she doesn’t enjoy any of those things. She has become very clingy and disoriented. Today, I couldn’t find her and she was standing behind the door in the laundry room, just staring at the wall. When she goes outside it’s like she can’t find the door and goes to the opposite side. I know she isn’t blind, because sometimes she still barks when someone walks by the house. She shakes constantly, even when she is under a warm blanket. It is heartbreaking. She has had a full blood panel ran and nothing is unusual, but she has had a very foul nasal discharge and sneezes out horrible chunks of awful stuff from her nasal passage. Our vet suspects a nasal tumor, because allergy meds and antibiotics have not cleared the condition. She has taken antibiotics for almost 2 years. Unfortunately, vet visits are extremely traumatic for her, due to a terrible experience at a groomer. Her vet is wonderful and will come to our home when I feel that is time. Unfortunately, I just don’t know if it’s time. Lucy still eats most days, goes to the bathroom outside and I haven’t known her to ever have an accident. However, today when I was cleaning her bed I found evidence that she has been defecating in her bed. This is NOT like her at all. I did read one reply that said it is better to let them go sooner than later. I made that mistake with my last dachshund and it was a gut wrenching experience that I have always regretted. Now here I am just agonizing of what is the right time? Any advice will be very appreciated and welcomed.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Hi Teresa,
I am sorry Lucy is struggling and her health is declining. Some of these new issues sound like symptoms of Canine Cognitive Dysfunction/Dementia. I will post links to other articles that offer additional information and great comments from other readers. With what you are describing, it would not be a bad decision to start planning your final goodbye with Lucy. The choice is rarely straight forward and is different for each situation. The main goal is to offer peace and rest and prevent unwanted suffering. If you are getting a gut feeling that your sweet girl is nearing her final days and her mental health is poor, then letting go may be the most loving option. I hope you can find the advice you need to make this emotional decision a bit easier. Bless you and your sweet Lucy.
1. Canine Cognitive Dysfunction in Dogs: Signs, Symptoms, Solutions
2. Dementia in Dogs: When to Euthanize Your Beloved Senior Dog
Sandra Ellison says
I am preparing to have my Great Dane and my two Moodles ages 13-12-10 all down tomorrow I feel so guilty but understand I am doing this for them but omg it is so heartbreaking to lose all three at once I can’t even bring myself to go to bed and sleep all three dogs sleep in my room and I am sitting here asking myself how can you do this they have been my life I have just turned 70 and will feel so lost without them
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Sandra,
I cannot even imagine how difficult and emotional this has been for you. How are you holding up? My heart aches for your recent loss of all three of your pups. I hope with time your heart will heal. May their memories be a blessing that stays with you forever.
Michelle says
I sit here with tears streaming down my face, knowing my time with Donnie is coming to an end. I have been struggling with this decision for about a month. We have had our sweet boy for 17yrs, blessed years. Donnie is a Silky Terrier and was our first “kid” as a married couple. He has always been a healthy and happy pup, up until 1.5yrs ago. I noticed changes in his behavior obsessive sniffing the door, pacing the house all day, forgotten how to drink out of the water bowl, up all night sleeping all day, getting stuck under furniture. I’m up with him most nights because lately he might wake up and be anxious or disoriented and panics and tries to move to quickly and bumps into stuff. He has cataracts in both eyes now and his hearing is mostly gone. It’s heartbreaking and I feel selfish cause I’m not wanting to let him go, even though I know it’s the right thing to do. I had to put our cat to sleep 6yrs ago and it broke me, I don’t want to feel that grief again, even though I know I will. I’m trying to get my head ready for this and my heart won’t agree. My husband is not there yet and it’s that subject I find myself bringing up more these last couple weeks to him and he says he just wishes we didn’t have to make that decision and our sweet boy would pass peacefully in his sleep. After reading this I know that may not be what happens and I would be more devastated,
as you put it to give him a final great day early than a day late and never have that last great day.
Thank you for this forum and ability to learn more and help those of us struggling with this.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Michelle,
My heart goes out to you with this difficult decision you are facing. It sounds like Donnie’s health is declining and he is suffering from the effects of Canine Cognitive Dysfunction/Dementia. I understand the heartache and grief that comes with saying goodbye to a beloved dog. What a blessing to have had 17 years of memories made together. I am glad the article has been insightful and brought some clarity to your situation. I will attach some links to other articles with additional information (may help with talking to your husband) and great comments from other readers. I hope you can find the strength to give your sweet boy the peace and rest he has earned after a lifetime of devotion and love. Bless you both.
1. Dementia in Dogs: When to Euthanize Your Beloved Senior Dog
2. In-Home Dog Euthanasia: Heartfelt Answers to 12 FAQs
3. Grieving the Loss of a Dog After Euthanasia (& Finding Peace)
Angie says
Thank you for writing this article. I have had my dog, Max since he was a puppy and I was a teenager. He is anywhere from 16 or 17 years old. I always dreaded on the day I would lose him. In May 2022, Max lost his vision and his behavior started to change. I spoke with the vet and she figured he might have a brain tumor. She recommended I put him down as he would only deteriorate. I refused to accept his departure and kept him. Unfortunately, he has only been deteriorating as days go by. He can’t do much and he can’t eat much either. I came to the realization that there might be no other choice but to put him down and it has been haunting me every day. I was always opposed on putting a dog down, but I’m now in those same shoes and it is horrifying. I feel like a bad dog mom for not allowing him to stay alive until he passes on his own, but seeing how much he keeps hurting himself and how he struggles makes me feel even worse. I had my boyfriend already call Lap of Love to find out information on how to euthanize him in my home. But I’m so scared and sad to lose my baby. 🙁
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Angie,
I understand your grief over this difficult decision. I know it would make it easier for you if Max would pass on his own, but a natural death for a dog is not usually a peaceful event. By making a decision to say goodbye, you can make sure Max doesn’t suffer needlessly and assure his passing will be peaceful with the ones he loves the most there by his side. I have no doubt he knows how much you love him. Letting go can be the most loving and unselfish thing we can do for a beloved dog. After 16 years of devotion, you have the ability to offer your sweet boy peace and rest. I hope you find the answers and advice you need to make the best decision for you and Max. Wishing you strength and clarity. Bless you both.
Brooklyn says
I have been grappling with this decision for weeks but I think the end for my sweet baby is drawing nearer than I want it to. In October she would be 7 years old but I just don’t know if we can make it until then. She started having health issues at two years old and they’ve become significantly debilitating over the last four. From vasculitis on her pads causing her to have daily bandage changes on her feet, to being on long-term steroids which have now led us into Diabetes and Cushings disease. Being in the late stages of her illness, I’ve noticed such a change in her. She’s not able to play or run, her diseases make her act as if she is starving/thirsty constantly, she’s becoming blind. She’s also unable to hold her urine or bowels, often going in the house multiple times a day or even on herself. It’s hard to come to terms with not having my best friend anymore.. she saved me and I’ve tried so hard to do the same in return. But maybe the best thing for her is not putting her through any more.. I’m so heartbroken but I can’t help but look in her eyes and see such exhaustion… I don’t want to see her suffer anymore, even if that means a lifetime of heartache for me. 💔
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Brooklyn,
My heart aches for you and this difficult situation you are in with your pup. It sounds like you have done everything in your power to give her as much quality time as you could. From what you describe, it does sound like your dog’s health is declining rapidly and saying goodbye may be the most loving option at this point. I can only imagine how much you will miss her but have no doubt she knows how much she is loved. You have the ability to offer her peace and rest for her weary body. Making this hard choice is the most unselfish thing you could do. I hope you find the answers you need to feel at peace with your decision. Praying for strength and comfort for your heart.
B Thomas says
Could really use some advice right now.
I cannot stop crying-the anticipatory grief is nearly unbearable. The things I think I will struggle with the most are the days right before-how on earth do you pick a time and date? How do you not count down the hours? How do you not spiral down the “this is the last mealtime with her”, “this is our last walk together”, ”this is our last morning together” rabbit hole??
I want to stay present for her, but it is really, really hard. I keep worrying I won’t be strong enough to make this decision when she needs me to make it.
Any general advice, or books/ articles/ podcasts/ whatever that might help? How do you reframe that grief into a peaceful energy for your fur/feather/scale babe in their last days?
Thank you so much for this article, and all that you do.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear B,
My heart goes out to you during this emotional and difficult time. I have felt the grief you describe and hope to offer you commiseration and understanding. The only way to face this decision is by keeping in mind you are making this choice from a place of love. Your sweet girl has devoted her life to you and now you have the opportunity to give her the peace and rest she has earned. A natural death for a dog is usually not pretty or peaceful. So, by making the decision now, you can make sure her passing happens in a calm environment with you by her side. You don’t want to wait too long and have that choice taken away from you. It is always better to say goodbye one day too early rather than one day too late and allow unnecessary suffering. Once you pick a day you can make sure these last days are the best they can possibly be. Spend quality time together and make some memories. Spoil your girl and find joy in the process. There are many support groups online that can offer additional guidance. Also, there is great information on the website for Lap of Love. I hope you find the answers you need to make the best decision for you and your pup. Praying for strength and comfort for your heart.
Marietta says
I adopted a 6 yr old Cocker Terrier mix almost 6 years ago. He has been going down hill this past year. Besides being in pain from arthritis (he is on pain mgmt), the last 6 mos i have noticed strange behaviors that has gotten alot worse and after speaking to my vet and researching myself, i know he has CCD. he has ALL the symptoms and last night i slept on couch with him — to try to keep him more comfortable at night. he uses the bathroom ALL the time inside in front of us and he NEVER ever did that until about 6 mos ago and now it’s 5-6 x a day. It is breaking my heart but i made the appt to say goodbye to her 9 days from now so we can have one more weekend to spoil him and love on him. I know it’s for the best but i feel so guilty. I”m crying now writing this. But even his bully sticks that he used to devour and his Kong with treats stuck inside do not interest him…anything he has to exert effort for he wont’ do anymore — not to say he doesn’t like treats…lol…as long as its not any work for him. THank you for your info here. It’s has helped me know i’m doing the right thing.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Marietta,
My heart goes out to you with this most difficult decision you have had to make for your senior guy. Cognitive dysfunction can be so cruel to our beloved dogs. It is hard to watch them suffer mentally knowing there is only so much you can do to help. It sounds like you are making the most loving and unselfish choice to give your sweet boy peace and rest. I hope his last weekend is filled with love and joy. Praying for comfort for your heart. Bless you both.
Sasha Monteiro says
This was very well written and explained.
I am contemplating euthanising my pet. He is incompetent and cannot urinate on his own, we’ve been catheterising him for over a year now. He is just 2.5 years old and due to a doctors mistake in a surgery (he cut into the urinary tract and stitched it at multiple places). He’s been living with a UTI for over a year. He Has so much life in him but at the same time he is in so much pain and discomfort as he is always trying to urinate throughout the day for a year now. His urine is always bloody (Practically black). The catheter doesn’t pass in smoothly due to the random cuts and strictures formed inside( the doctor didn’t tell us anything about the procedure) Inspite of all this,TURBO is soooooo resilient he was absolutely unaffected by this until recently. It is so hard to let him go but he is losing himself and he doesn’t recognise us sometimes or he randomly attacks us and is extremely extremely reactive (biting without warnings) after which he is very normal, not knowing what he did and asking for cuddles.
I cannot imagine what my baby is going through but my family needs time to say goodbye. As there is nothing else we can do for him and for the sake of our own safety we can’t help him anymore (he’s had 6 surgeries and stents placed in his urinary tract which didn’t work).
My baby fought so hard for so long and he’s still fighting and he just won’t stop fighting so it’s our call to make. A very tough call.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Sasha,
I am so sorry for the tragic situation you are in with your young pup. It does sound like he is struggling and saying goodbye may be the most loving option at this point. I understand your need for some time to process this decision and allow your family to deal with strong emotions. It might be a good idea to reach out to a house call vet that can offer hospice care and when the time comes, in-home euthanasia. I will attach some links to other articles that may offer additional information and great comments from other readers. It is easy to see in your words just how much you love your sweet boy. I hope he can find the peace and rest he so deserves. Bless you and your family.
1. In-Home Dog Euthanasia: Heartfelt Answers to 12 FAQs
2. Dog Hospice Care Can Bring Peace and Dignity to Your Dog’s Final Days
3. Grieving the Loss of a Dog After Euthanasia (& Finding Peace)
Courtney Mc says
Thank you for sharing this. I’m going through this for the first time. I have to put my beloved boxer mix Banjo down tomorrow afternoon. He was diagnosed with a Glioma 5 months ago and it’s gotten the best of him. I want him to stay so bad. I’ve questioned myself time and time again. I’m laying next to him and I find a little comfort knowing what to expect tomorrow. I had a baby in April and I firmly believe he’s stayed as long as he can for her and I. He’s only about 9, I adopted him at 1, I will miss him everyday.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Courtney,
I am so sorry for your recent loss of Banjo. I am glad you found the article helpful during this emotional time. I hope his transition was smooth and peaceful. I have no doubt he knew how much he was loved. What a blessing for him to have met your new baby girl. ♥ Praying for comfort for your heart. May his memory stay with you always.
Laura says
We had the hard duty of putting our dog down a couple days ago and there was only one thing that truly haunted me leaving me feel guilt but more so my husband during the process. We let our dog eat treats of junk food and candy right before the sedation was injected and I should’ve asked for more minutes before the sedation but just let it go and half way through the injection of the sedation my dog jolted his head up from eating seemingly confused almost like he was looking at the other side of the room like there was a ghost but then I watched as he looked at my husband like what happening dad and then he laid his head down. Is it common for dogs to jerk like that before fully sedated or could my dog truly just have been confused as if he was looking to my husband for help? It’s eating away at us every time we think about that particular moment leaving us feel guilty even though we know he’s pain free now. Thanks for any insight and your article.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Laura,
I am sorry for the recent loss of your pup. I am glad you have reached out about this experience so I can hopefully give you some peace of mind. It is common for dogs to be “caught off guard” when the sedation starts to take effect. It is not thought to be a fearful reaction or feeling, but rather just a strange loopy, dizzy feeling. Please don’t carry around the unnecessary burden of guilt over this reaction from your sweet boy. I am glad that even during his last moments he was surrounded by the people who love him most. I hope with time your heart will be comforted knowing you gave him peace and rest. May his memory be a blessing. ♥
Cheri Christensen says
I’m so glad I found this article. I haven’t seen anyone else dealing with my situation. My 9 yr. old Schnauzer mix had a spontaneous pneumothorax 5 days ago. I took her to an emergency vet where she had a chest tube inserted and was stabilized.. Then I drove her 3 hrs. to the closest veterinary school where she could get a CT scan. It broke my heart to leave her behind, but it was a Friday and they couldn’t do the scan until Monday. She has since then had more 2 more chest tubes. The CT scan indicated her pneumothorax was idiopathic. She is still leaking air, has bloody diarrhea and isn’t eating. They have upped her pain meds because she doesn’t want to walk and seems to be in pain. How much do you put a dog through medically before deciding she’s had enough? It’s especially distressing because I am 3 hours away and haven’t seen her. I don’t know her prognosis, and I’m not getting a lot of information from the vets. They have suggested explorative surgery by opening her chest, but I am not going to put her through that. They are always so busy and communication is not good. I am going to drive there tomorrow with the intention of seeing her and assessing her for myself. I am considering taking her out and going to a nearby motel to see if she’ll do better if I am close by – or driving her home and arranging for a home euthanasia. I am torn between wanting to give her every chance to survive, and giving her peace. So much of my concern is because we’re not together. I am angry because I feel like for the amount of money I am spending there should be answers, and because she’s at a vet school I don’t want her used as a guinea pig. I am so torn as to what to do, and am heartbroken atvthe turn of events. A week ago she was perfectly healthy and chasing squirrels.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Cheri,
I am so sorry your senior girl is struggling with these severe issues. I understand your concern with her quality of life and the difficulty of deciding how much is enough. Make sure the clinicians that are in charge of your girl’s case are aware you need more detailed communication. They may not realize you are unhappy with service you have received. You know your pup best, and if you think saying goodbye is the most loving option, don’t hesitate to put an end to the testing and treatment process. I hope you were able to visit your pup and offer her love and comfort. I am praying there is still hope for a full recovery. Feel free to leave an update if you have a chance. Bless you both.
Lexi says
It’s my last day with my precious girl. She turned 16 years old 2 weeks ago. She has slowed down due to heart disease, and our diligent and exacting care could not stay death’s bidding. A small stroke yesterday predicates more to come in the future. We will not have her suffer. I am in agony. She played with new toys last night, and will be feasting on tenderloin all day tomorrow. The waiting is the worst. How sad for these beautiful, loving creatures to not have the privilege of simply dying peacefully in their sleep. After a lifetime of unconditional love they deserve a gentle death, but I am forced into an unwelcomed framework of home euthanasia. I cannot do better for this loyal, faithful, and most beloved companion, despite my ardent wishes. Godspeed, Chloe, to your little sisters who await you in paradise. I will hold you again one day, my precious, precious girl.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Lexi,
My heart goes out to you with the recent passing of your beloved Chloe. She was lucky to share her life with you and have you advocate for her comfort and wellbeing. I can only imagine the emotions and grief you must be experiencing without her by your side. I hope with time your heart will heal and her memory will continue to be a blessing in your life.
Ashley says
Thank you for the article. I am having a hard time knowing when to say goodbye to my 16 year old Jug mix. He hasn’t had much joy in life recently, and I feel like if I say it out loud I will feel better about my decision. He has been quite anxious lately. His tail constantly between his legs. He paces and pants all day long. If he doesn’t think anyone is home he will howl. Physically he is in perfect health. Still mobile, able to jump in the couch. But mentally I can tell he is suffering. He is also becoming incontinent and urinating and deficating in the house multiple times a day, even after long walks. I know it is time but it is still a hard decision to make.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Ashley,
I understand your concern for your senior boy and his declining mental health. What you are describing sounds like symptoms commonly seen in dogs that suffer from canine cognitive dysfunction/dementia. Making the decision to say goodbye is incredible difficult, but especially when most of the issues are mental rather than physical. It is ok to consider euthanasia for dogs struggling with dementia like your little pup. You have the ability to make the most loving and unselfish choice to give him peace and rest after a lifetime of love and devotion. Here is a link to another article with more information and great comments from other readers: Dementia in Dogs: When to Euthanize Your Beloved Senior Dog
I pray for your strength and comfort in this most difficult time. Bless you both.
Vicki says
Our vet does not use sedation before euthanasia, is this common? Is this even humane? Please help.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Hi Vicki,
Yes, it is still common to perform euthanasia without prior sedation. It is humane and the euthanasia solution does not cause pain as it is injected. The main reason it has become more favorable to give sedation prior to euthanasia is to try and prevent some of the things that can be seen after a dog has already passed. Once a dog has peacefully passed, the muscles/cells use up the last of their remaining energy. This can be seen as muscle twitching. An owner could see this twitching and assume their beloved dog is still alive and having some negative effects or feeling pain, though this is not the case. The diaphragm that controls breathing is also a muscle, so if it “twitches” it can look like the dog has taken a breath or is gasping for air, though this is also not the case. Sedation prior to euthanasia makes it more smooth for the owner and also can help keep the dog calm. If the dog is calmer, then it will make the veterinarian’s job of finding a vein easier as well. So ultimately, the use of sedation prior to euthanasia depends on veterinarian preference. Please know, if you have to have one of your own dog’s euthanized and would prefer it to be sedated prior, make this wish known to your vet. Even if this is not standard protocol for your vet, they may still be happy to add this at your request for an additional fee.
Sharon Holmes says
I found your blog post because I was looking up the drug Amantadine as my vet is going to prescribe this drug for my 8 yr old greyhound. He was diagnosed with osteosarcoma on Mother’s Day weekend. I was devastated as this is my third greyhound to be diagnosed with this horrible disease. I have opted to give him palliative care (like I did with my two previous greyhounds). as I have learned that even with chemotherapy and amputation the quality of life post-treatment is poor. I am a nurse, I have cared for cancer patients/hospice patients, and I can’t bear to put my dog through the traditional cancer treatment. As I read your tips, I was crying. I have been so distraught, hoping that I would not have to venture down the cancer road with another greyhound.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Sharon,
I am so sorry you are facing such a devastating diagnosis with your senior guy. My heart goes out to you with the emotional decisions you have ahead. I hope the addition of Amantadine will be able to keep your sweet boy comfortable and allow him to find joy in these last days. Here is a link to another article that may have the information you were looking for: Amantadine for Dogs: Everything You Need To Know About This Pain Medication
I am praying for strength for you as you navigate this difficult path. Give your big boy a hug for me.♥
Clint says
I so needed this article. I’m tearing up even as I write this comment. We are having to prepare to lose one of our sweet girls, Dixie. She was diagnosed with cancer and the last few weeks have been filled with tears and a lot of love. This is my first time going through this as a dog owner. I remember being there with my dad when he had to make the hard decision to put down our family dog. I was there when the vet came to the house and we said our goodbyes. We buried our old girl under the shade tree where she loved to lay. That was tough then, but this is so much more difficult. I have two young daughters who adore this dog. They are constantly hugging and kissing her, talking to her and laying beside her on the floor. They are going to be devastated. I am dreading that day for two very difficult reasons.
But, I’m grateful for what I learned here and feel so much more prepared. I just hope I know when the right time to say goodbye is.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Clint,
I am glad you found the article to be helpful with this emotional decision you are facing. I know that saying goodbye to Dixie will leave you heartbroken, but it will give her the peace and rest she deserves after a lifetime of devotion to you and your family. The “right time” is different for everyone and every dog. I always think it is better to let go one day too early rather than one day too late and allow them to suffer needlessly. I hope Dixie’s last days will be filled with comfort and love. Praying things will be as smooth and easy as possible with your little girls. Bless you and your family. ♥
David Liles says
I came across this article whilst looking for comfort in my decision. My 15 year old Springer Whiskey was given peace on Monday, after recovery from severe pancreatitis 6 months ago. He never got back to full health, but was managing his recovery ok. It recently started to flare up again & I had to take the decision to let him go. It’s been just me & him for 14 years. He was there on the bed when I woke up, he’d be on my heels all day, come to work, and still be there when we went to bed. I dont have any immediate human family, so he was my family, my rock, a blessing in every sense. He was such a gentle little boy. And I’d give anything to see his little smile again. Or to give him “kissies” on his cheek. He was showing signs of the pancreatitis returning last week, and he’d gone from 18kg down to 10kg in 6 months, and his rear legs weren’t great at times. He was still very happy to go for walks, but I often used to say it takes twice the time to do half the distance. I love him so much & it’s so difficult knowing he could have had more time with me. When he started to show issues again, I decided to stay at home with him on Friday to see if that helped. I told myself then that if it doesn’t show any significant improvement by Monday, then I would have to make that call. I am so grateful that we got to spend 4 solid days together, 3 of which were spent visiting his favourites walks. We just sat there on the beach, in the woods & and the park for ages. I picked him up, not something I’d usually do on a walk, and carried him round, as the distance would have been too much for him. And I took so many photos & videos to remember him by. Monday came, and I had to make the hardest phone call & decision of my life. I called the vets in the morning & they said they could come to the house at 5.30pm. We had the most wonderful day. We visited 3 of his favourite walks again, and then we spent ages just laying on the bed making a fuss of each other. I had time to say my goodbyes, which I’m so grateful for. If he’d have gotten sick in the middle of the night, and had to finish his life on a vets table unexpectedly, I would never have forgiven myself. But to see him go on the sofa where he spent many hours dozing next to me was very comforting. Due to the pancreatitis, he had to stop his favourite treats last year. So I gave him a dentastick & a bit of biscuit just before he went. I had time to make those final memories. For that, I am forever grateful. Could I have had another day, week or month with my boy? Yes, I think so. Do I regret not giving him medication & seeing how it went, yes, 100%. But I have to keep reminding myself that it could have got worse even that evening, and then we wouldn’t have had the final moments we did, and the poor little man would’ve had anxious & stress as his last feelings at the vets. I’m so glad I got to plan his final days & say goodbye to him at home. I have no idea how I’ll get over this, and I’m prepared for the fact I won’t. I’ll just have to learn to live with it. I’m gutted beyond words. But I know he’s never going to feel pain or anxiety ever again. He’s not going to miss chasing the ball any longer. He’s not going to miss his favourite treats any longer. He was my life. And I’m glad of the last memories we made together. That’s what special friends can do for each other. Night night buddy. Love ya loads.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear David,
I can only imagine the emotions you are going through since saying goodbye to Whiskey last week. He sounds like such a special boy, and I have no doubt he knew how much he was loved. What a blessing to be able to give him an amazing last weekend together. Spending time in all his favorite places and getting to eat those forbidden treats must have brought him such joy. I hope with time your heart will heal and you will find comfort in all the wonderful memories you made together. Best wishes as you continue on life’s journey.
Tawnie says
Yesterday, I made one of the hardest decisions I’ve ever had to make. This Saturday I will be parting ways with my 13 year old chihuahua pomeranian. My handsome boy’s case doesn’t seem so black and white. Rather it falls in a grey area. For years he’s had problems with his pancreas, kidney, and arthritis. But with medications and many vet visits he’s been pushing through quite well. He is still able to walk around and has rare bursts of energy to play with his siblings. To visitors he looks like a dog who still has that sparkle in his eyes. Yet for the past two weeks he’s been vomiting every day and now has lost his appetite completely. Recently, he’s been doing a cough/ gagging sound and it’s rare to catch him not panting. During my last conversation with the vet she explained to me that there is things like anti vomiting medication and iv’s that can help him, but in a few months or less he’ll most likely be right back to how he is now or worse. There is no cure to his problems, there are only things she can do to slow the process down and soothe symptoms for short periods of time. My biggest fear is that if I don’t euthanize him now then I will just be prolonging his pain. Waiting for the worst of days to come. I know that this is the best decision I can make for my best friend, but I am struggling between acceptance and trying to hold on. The fear of euthanizing too early Is almost as painful as the thought of euthanizing too late.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Tawnie,
I understand the heartbreak and internal struggle of the decision you made. From what you described; I would have made the same choice for one of my own. You are making the unselfish choice to let go to prevent pain and suffering rather than hanging on longer for personal comfort. I hope your sweet boy’s last day was filled with love and peace. May the memories of the good days bring comfort to your heart. Bless you.
JaTaun Bryant says
That was my biggest concern euthanizing too early or too late oh my goodness you really help me feel more comfortable about my decision and while I was so torn thank you so much.I’m so sorry about your loss but your testimony was very helpful for me.
Brandi R says
Thank you for this article. I’m euthanizing my best friend of 14 years this afternoon. It’s time to let her go and it’s so hard. This article helps to bring some comfort to my aching heart. I have lost around 10 dogs in my lifetime, only a couple by euthanasia, but this one hurts different. I’ve had her since I was 20 years old (now 35) and she’s moved around to many places with me and has seen a lot of the world. She’s my “velcro” dog as my husband says because she would (not now because she lost her mobility a few months ago) follow every step I took whether to the bathroom or any car trip she could beg her way into. She’s one of the smart ones that understands humans in regular conversation it seems. I’m hoping I will somehow see her again someday!
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Brandi,
I am sorry you had to say goodbye to your beloved senior girl. I know what it’s like to find that one in a million “heart” dog. I hope her last moments were filled with love and comfort. Praying for peace for your heart as you continue to move forward in life. May her memory be a blessing. ♥
Catherine says
I am so confused and heartbroken. My lovely healthy 14 month old GSD was taken to be spayed last week and now and the supposedly routine general anaesthetic/ drugs have caused an acute kidney injury she apparently cannot recover from. I now have to face ´the decision to put her to sleep. Only a week ago there was nothing wrong with her. I am reeling from shock and distress. I thought I was doing the best thing for my big baby girl. If I had not taken her this would not have happened.
I cannot bear to be losing her after only a year. In that time she came everywhere with me and was my soulmate. I never expected this, I am utterly distraught at the impending euthanasia. I feel so alone in this grief.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Catherine,
My heart breaks for you and this tragic turn of events with your young pup. I can’t imagine how distraught you must be facing this most difficult decision to say goodbye. We (veterinarians) try so hard to prevent anesthesia complications such as kidney injuries, but unfortunately even with pre-anesthetic testing and diligence, they sometimes cannot be avoided. You made a choice that I would have made for my own beloved dog, to have her spayed. The risks of a uterine infection, mammary cancer, and other reproductive complications are all good reasons to pursue spaying a female dog. I know that none of this takes away your grief, but I hope it will allow you to put down the burden of guilt you are carrying. I pray with time your heart will heal. Bless you both. ♥
Lindsey says
We have a 17 1/2 year old Doxie. Last year she was diagnosed with pancreatitis. We thought we were going to lose her. But, with hydration and a special diet, she pulled through. She has had pancreatitis 4 times since that time. She is also now completely blind and has renal failure. Her body is failing. Her appetite is not good. She eats very little but is still drinking a lot.
I know it’s probably time but it’s so hard to make that decision. She still snuggles up to me on the sofa and attempts to play with her toys.
How do you know when to make the call? I don’t want her to suffer.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Lindsey,
I am sorry your sweet girl is nearing the end of her life. I know you want to do what is best and that is difficult when things are not clear. In these circumstances, there may be no right or wrong answer as to when is best to say goodbye. I will attach some links to other articles that may offer additional information and advice. It is clear how much you love your little pup, and I am certain she knows. Praying for your strength and comfort for you both.
1. Using a Quality of Life Scale for Dogs
2. Signs Your Dog is Dying: A Caring Message to Bring You Peace
3. Dog Kidney Failure: When to Euthanize Your Dear Dog
Luis says
Hey there,
I have been dreading this moment since the day I got my baby girl Luna. A beautiful, silly, amazing shih tzu mix.
I had the absolute blessing to pick her up February of last year .
Regretfully, first week of May, suddenly one issue and then another began to arise. Took her into the ER and different hospitals several times and over trials and errors, tests and labs, biopsies and all, nothing has been found and my little fluffball continues to whither as she continues to lose more and more weight.
I pray for a miracle before the end of the week, but I am also bracing for tragedy. Thank you for this post with great Information to prepare me and my family for the loss of our first doggo.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Luis,
My heart goes out to you as you face this most difficult decision. I am so sorry that despite trying everything you could, there are still no good answers for Luna’s suffering. I am also praying for a miracle for your sweet girl. Please feel free to leave an update if you have a chance. Bless you both. ♥
Suzanne says
Tomorrow at 4:30 saying goodbye to my baby girl pomeranian Boo Bella. She was a gift from God I have no doubt., Had her for many incredible years. God bless you doctor and all the commenters on this page. I am devastated. There will never be another one like her.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Suzanne,
I am sorry for the recent passing of your sweet girl Boo Bella. I hope that as the days go by you will be comforted by her memory. Bless you and wishing you happiness for the future.
Jenny says
We will be saying goodbye tomorrow to our 11 year old Jack Russ Jackson who was diagnosed with an aggressive mast cell tumor. Within 3 months it has grown so big and now all he does is chew at the tumor until it bleeds,, He also has a pretty significant heart murmur. While he is still so energetic and willing to play he is declining. The vet said more than likely his chewing on the tumor and opening it up would be what causes us to make the decision faster than his actual decline in health which makes this decision all that more difficult. We know this is best for him though. We DON’T want him to start having pain ( although the ulcer on the tumor has got to be so PAINFULL!!) Dogs that I have helped cross the Rainbow Bridge before have been pretty old and miserable so it was much easier. This one is killing me…..My heart goes out to all of you writing comments.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Jenny,
I am so sorry you are facing this emotional decision. It sounds like you are truly doing what is best for Jackson and preventing him from suffering needlessly. My thoughts are with you as you spend this last day with your sweet boy. Praying everything goes smoothly and is peaceful. Bless you both.
Victoria Bond says
Im so sorry for your loss. We are experiencing the same thing for our 13 year old Boxer, Fred. We are planning an in home Euthanasia Saturday and we are struggling so bad to cope because he seems like his normal self, but the tumor has gotten necrosis at the bottom. We are so heartbroken and making this decision has been probably the hardest thing I have ever had to do. ❤️ Sending my love to your beloved baby.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Victoria,
I can only imagine how difficult yesterday must have been for you and your family. You made such a loving and unselfish decision for your sweet Boxer boy. I hope everything went smoothly and was peaceful for Fred’s last moments. May his memory be a blessing.
Julie says
Today I said goodbye to Norby, my 19 yr old baby. At his age he had many health issues, but what is bothering me the most is how happy and active he still was. He still scampered around the house and wagged his tail- even at the vets office just a moment before he died. I feel like I took that joy away from him.
But he also had the unpleasantness of leaking pee, diarrhea, taking medicine and eye drops several times a day and the newest was to be subcutaneous fluids 2-3 times a week.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Julie,
I understand the grief that comes with saying goodbye to a beloved senior pup. It sounds like you made the right decision, and it came from a place of love. Try not to look at it like you took joy away from him, but rather allowed him to find peace and rest and prevented unnecessary suffering. I always think it is better to let go one day too early rather than one day too late. I hope with time your heart will heal. May his memory be a blessing.
Sherry L. Kern says
Thank you for your wonderful article. I am sadly struggling with the fact that my lovely 10 yr old maltipoo to sleep. She has been my everything and I just can’t seem to let her go. She strayed with bladder stones and a mass her stomach which was determined to be cancer. The cancer spread to her stomach and now her lungs. Chemo didn’t work. My oncologist vet and primary vet both say it is time to say goodbye because she is having trouble breathing (lungs have been drained of fluid twice but comes right back) and is suffering. I have pain meds for her and when I look in her eyes she looks so sad but I am her protector, how can I be her killer?? I am torn apart inside not knowing what to do. It’s selfish to keep her alive but I
Know in my heart she doesn’t want to die and I can’t bear the thought!
Sherry L. Kern says
I apologize for using some wrong words like strayed instead of started. Dang auto-correct
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Sherry,
I am sorry you are facing such a difficult decision with your senior girl. Cancer can be so cruel, and it sounds like your pup is really struggling. I know you want what is best for her and want to make sure you don’t cause any harm. Choosing euthanasia now will allow your sweet girl to find peace and rest without having to suffer through declining health to the point she can no longer breath and passes in a painful manner. I always think it is better to say goodbye one day too early rather than one day too late. I hope you can find the answers you need to make the best decision for you and your sweet girl. Whatever you decide, I have no doubt she knows how much she is loved. Praying for peace and clarity. Bless you both.
Michelle says
Thank you for this beautifully written article that brings me peace in my decision to go forward with euthanizing our beloved 13 year old golden retriever late Sunday afternoon. All the family will join us in a celebratory send-off with lots of love, hugs, photos and treats tomorrow before her appointment. I am filled with grief but know I’m doing the very best thing for her and it pains me to see her decline with arthritis, GI issues,weight loss, incontinence and her increasing lack of joy. Although she doesn’t seem to be in obvious pain, there are plenty of signs that indicate she is may be more uncomfortable than she’s letting on and I don’t want her to suffer. Having watched parents die in hospice and in the hospital, I do not want that kind of ending for my beautiful Sophie. I want her last meal to be ice cream and chocolate, not cold, tasteless eggs. I want her to be able to walk in her last moments and not carried. I want to see her smiling eyes, not eyes filled with pain. It may be too early but I abhor the thought of her enduring unnecessary suffering. She has been the best pet and will live in our hearts forever.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Michelle,
All I can think is what a wonderful and beautiful send off this sounds like. ♥ I hope everything went smoothly and am so glad Sophie was surrounded by the ones that love her the most. I know your heart is sad today without her by your side. Praying you will be comforted knowing your beloved girl did not have to suffer and is joyful once more. May her memory be a blessing as you continue life’s journey!
Deb says
My heart is breaking as I write this and prepare myself to say goodbye to my beautiful goldendoodle, Beau. I can’t find the words to describe the pain I feel. Eight months ago, I learned he has terminal stomach cancer and there has not been one single day in those eight months when I have not given him pills, hand fed him home-made food, played his favourite games, taken him for a walk, or put my arms around him and felt the warmth of his dear, familiar body. What will I do without this beautiful soul beside me in this life? I know that I should take comfort in the fact that he has lived two months past his six months prognosis and I do take some comfort in that. I know I should be grateful for the almost thirteen years I’ve had with him, and I am. But it’s not long enough. I don’t want to let him go but I can’t ignore the reality that for the past few weeks, he has been straining to go to the bathroom. I know he is not going to get better, only worse. It’s now time for me to be brave and rescue him from suffering. But every time I go to make an appointment, I can’t stop crying. I feel physically sick. I feel like I must consent to killing this beloved dog when all I want to do is save him.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Deb,
My heart goes out to you while you are trying to make this most difficult decision. Even forever would not be long enough with your sweet Beau. It does sound like his health is starting to decline and he is struggling more. I understand how it can feel like you are betraying him by consenting to “let go”. Instead, I hope you are comforted by the knowledge that you are releasing him from his suffering. You are making the most loving and unselfish choice to allow your own heart to break so he can find the peace and rest he deserves after giving you 13 years of love and devotion. I pray with time your heart will heal and the memories of the good times will be a blessing to your life.
Shawn says
Deb you put what I’m feeling into words. I would do absolutely anything to help/save my sweet Rosie. But I know that her health will never improve. I am working with a wonderful hospice vet…. but this decision is unbearable. I’m not a stranger to it., having done it 3x previously….. and an unexpected loss of my youngest dog (aka my very BFF) weeks ago. I hate it…. it is the worst part of life. But I love my Rosie so very much I do not want her know suffering. God bless you and I hope you find peace in knowing the pain you feel of losing your beloved Beau is a direct reflection of how much you loved him…. and how lucky are you and Beau to have experienced that kind of unconditional love.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Shawn,
I am sorry you are facing this most difficult decision with your beloved Rosie. Thank you for offering support and compassion to others while you are also experiencing strong emotions and heartbreak. Praying for comfort and peace for you and Rosie. Bless you both.
Lisa Vanderlinde, Fla says
Our beloved American Eskimo Dog Nikki just turned 15. We got her at 12 wks from the shelter. She has had a great happy life with us. She has been on the decline for about 7 months. Her back leg muscles are wasting and she can’t walk without slipping, getting up is difficult and she falls over frequently. A few days ago she had an evening with panting majority of the night until she finally slept from exhaustion. The vet doesn’t have an exact diagnosis for sure but thinks there is an clot of some sort in one of her rear legs, weak pulse in on leg, etc. She is home on steroids for comfort , anti inflammatory and this is for us to have time to make our end of life decision so Nikki can rest in peace. We have had laser therapy for her to make her comfortable for past 6 months which had helped her stay comfortable. We have watched her slowly decline and it is so sad we can’t do anymore for her . I cry reading this article knowing what is coming even though I know peace for her is best. I am fortunate to have 2 other dogs to help me and my husband through this. Thank you for the insights to help us know our decision is the right one and one of compassion. It is so heartbreaking for us and I am heartbroken reading all the comments of others who had to say goodbye to their beloved companions.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Lisa,
I am sorry you are facing this most difficult decision for Nikki. I am glad your vet was able to give her some medications to keep her comfortable while you make arrangements and spend some time with her. I pray when the time comes, it will be smooth and peaceful. My heart goes out to you as you prepare to say goodbye. May the memories of all the good times be a blessing to you and your family.
Anna says
Hello,
Thank you for writing this article. I am in tears and in such heart ache while writing this comment. I am coming close to the decision of putting my dearest 2-year-old cocker spaniel to sleep. She is showing signs of rage syndrome and her anxiety has gone worse during the years. She can’t control her aggressive “seizures” and I know she wouldn’t want to hurt the people she loves the most. I know my and her quality of life would decrease if this went on. I have to isolate herself from everyone and she doesn’t understand why. She is no longer safe in her own head and I have to do the most gut wrenching and heat breaking decision that I know will be the best for her. I just don’t understand how people survive from this. I feel like I will get depressed and lose my will to live. I feel like I can’t stop crying because I love her more than life itself. She’s just 2 and she loves me and trusts me with her life. How do people survive from this heart ache? I feel like screaming from pain </3
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Anna,
I cannot fathom the grief and pain you are experiencing with this most difficult decision you are facing. I am sorry your sweet girl has been dealt such a devastating disease. Please reach out for help for yourself. You should not have to go through this alone. There are many great Facebook groups and community organizations that would be a perfect fit for your situation and be able to offer sympathy and advice from a shared perspective. Also, there is no shame in reaching out to a counselor or therapist. Your sweet girl needs you to be strong and make the most loving and unselfish decision you can, to allow her to finally find peace and rest. I have no doubt she knows how much she is loved, and that bond will not be broken just because you say goodbye for now. My heart goes out to you. Bless you both. ♥
DavidF says
I have been reading blogs like this all evening and this isn’t getting any easier a decision to make.
I know it’s the right thing to do, but I just can’t. Marley is a 14 year old Jack Russell who has always been my crazy best friend. Typical to his breed, he’s caused so much trouble in his life, and I love him for it.
These past couple of years he has had numerous operations on his ears, and this past few months I can tell that he’s giving up in himself. He has become incontinent, he has no interest in playing, no interest in walking, he just wants to sleep all the time, mostly on my 5 year old daughters bed.
Selfishly I have a major concern is my kids, 5 and 3 they love him to bits, they have never known life without Marley, and I am likely to be the person who takes him away from them for that final time. I have tried to raise the subject of him “leaving us” on a few occasions but they both don’t truly understand, asking things like “when will he come back though Dad?”.
I’m really struggling here to the point my heart is already breaking in so many ways. 💔
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear David,
I can only imagine what a difficult decision this is for you, especially considering your children’s emotions as well. It does sound like Marley is nearing the end of his life and that euthanasia may be the most loving option. I know there are several good children’s books available that help discuss this process with little ones. Also, you may want to consider an in-home euthanasia so they can be present and not be confused as to why Marley doesn’t come home from the vet clinic. From my experience, when small kids are present for euthanasia, most of the time they don’t even pay attention to what is happening and end up finding something else to play with or get distracted in some other way. You could also consider a small “funeral ceremony” and let them draw pictures or place a dog toy or something in a box to bury (even if you don’t choose home burial). It is always a good idea to reach out to a counselor that works with kids to get advice. As for Marley, I pray when the time comes everything goes smoothly and he is surrounded by the ones that love him most. May his memory be a blessing to you and your family. ♥
Patricia says
I will be helping my 17.5 month old dachshund, Potato, cross the rainbow bridge this week and I have been crying off and on about it for weeks. He has dementia and has no interest in anything anymore, and though I know it’s the right thing to do it’s so hard. Thank you for this post and providing some comfort in my decision. He’s going to have the best last few days on Earth and that’s all I can do.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Patricia,
My heart goes out to you as you spend these last days with your beloved dachshund boy. I understand how difficult this decision must have been, but you are doing such a loving and unselfish thing for him. I hope his transition is smooth and pray his last moments are peaceful and calm. May the memories of the good times be a comfort to your heart.
Julie Damron says
There is a lot of great information here. We have an appointment for this Monday to put our 15yo Aussie down. She’s been having mobility issues for quite some time now. The thing that gets me is when she is having a good day. For example, she made it up by herself, she was able to go to the bathroom without falling over today. She’s better! Then later, she’ll be laying there panting and whining and I have to help her up since she got stuck somewhere again. Times when she looks at me with her silly goofy look on her face, and the next looking so sad and confused. She doesn’t play, nor want to go for walks. She just lays there. It’s like she’s just existing.
It would be “easier” if she wasn’t eating.
I’m afraid she’s suffering, but also afraid it’s too soon. I just wish Zoee could talk to me and let me know, but I guess she’s trying to tell me in different ways.
This is so, so, so hard. My heart is just breaking for her. I just want to do right by her. She’s such a good girl.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Julie,
I understand your hesitation to say goodbye, but it sounds like you are making the right choice. If Zoee were my pup, I would be making the decision to give her peace and rest after a long life of dedication and unconditional love. We allow our own hearts to break so they don’t have to struggle and suffer anymore. My heart goes out to you as you spend this last day together. Praying everything goes smoothly and she passes on surrounded by the ones that love her most. ♥
Manuela says
This exactly the same with my staffy – Leah. I have been putting off the decision for about 6weeks now, but after she ended up peeing on the couch and just lying in her own wee because she struggles to get up sometimes reassured me that this isn’t a good quality of life for her anymore and it is right time to let her go. I know there will never be a dog like her, we became really close in the last 2 years, I haven’t been well and she has been my support.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Manuela,
I understand what a difficult decision this must be for you. It does sound like Leah may be struggling and saying goodbye might be the most loving option. I hope you can find the answers you need to make the best decision for you both. Bless you.
Ken says
Made the appointment one week from today to have my 17 year old chihuahua euthanized. She’s in poor health but I’m reading your articles as I feel guilt and sadness.
I realize that I would never be ready to let her go, so even with reluctance I will go through with it. Not certain how I will be on that day but I hope I can find peace.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Ken,
I understand your heartache and what a difficult decision you have made. You are doing the best thing and offering your sweet girl the peace and rest she deserves. I hope when the day arrives, everything will go smoothly and you both will be comforted. May her memory be a blessing.
Melinda Lunsford says
I’m happy to have found this post. We’re sending my nearly 18 year old red heeler mix, Maverick, over the rainbow bridge in 10 days. I’ve struggled with guilt and have been actively grieving for weeks knowing this day was coming soon. I’ve relied on a quote the vet told us regarding how we’ll know it’s time: “it’s better to say goodbye a day too early than a moment too late”. A peaceful passing is what I desire most in his last moments. When guilt starts to creep in I remind myself that this choice is a way to honor him, a final act of my love for him.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Melinda,
It sounds like you are making a loving and very unselfish choice for your beloved Maverick. I hope these last days are filled with snuggles and love. Praying his passing is peaceful and smooth, surrounded by the ones he loves most. When the sad days come, I hope the memories of all the good times will fill your heart and lift your spirit. Bless you.
Maryann says
We’re getting ready to send our love, chihuhua 10 years old. I can’t wrap my head around it. He slept with us on our bed and it is just hard to let go.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Maryann,
My heart goes out to you during this difficult time. May the memory of your sweet pup be a blessing to you and your family.
Becki says
I have an appointment for today at 3 pm to have my big guy, Chewie, sent over the rainbow bridge. This is my second appointment because I cancelled the first one last year. He is an almost 10 year old Newfoundland. He has had arthritis in 3 legs for the past several years and the fourth is starting to show signs of weakness. And he’s going blind. He struggles to get up and he can’t do any of the things that he used to love. He loved to go for car rides but he hasn’t been able to get into a car for 4 years, he can’t climb into the tub and sleep at night, he can’t get on the couch and snore away anymore. He only rises to eat and to go outside, but lately I’ve had to take his food to where he’s laying. He pants from the pain and I can see it in his eyes. Today, he’s a little more himself but I don’t see this often. He will never have a good quality of life and will only progress further. Yet, I’m still looking for something to hold on to…it’s so selfish, I know. I feel so guilty and I am having a hard time looking at him because I know what I’m about to do. This is truly the worst feeling in the world. My heart is breaking and I hope he knows that I’m really doing this out of love.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Becki,
I understand your heartache over saying goodbye to Chewie. My heart goes out to you as you mourn his loss but celebrate his freedom from pain and suffering. I have no doubt he knew how much he was loved. I hope his passing was smooth and peaceful. May the memories of the good days bring you joy and comfort.
Danielle says
I am so glad to have found this blog. Tomorrow we will say goodbye to our beautiful 14 year old Choc Lab, Lilly. We chose in home euthanasia. She is our first baby. She’s been through it all with our family. But.. has also had a rough go at this life. She’s spent most of her time on Earth with severe allergies and skin issues. We’ve literally done everything possible to keep her comfortable her entire life. Unfortunately, along with many health issues and old age.. she’s now slowing way down. She needs help 100% of the time to get outside and sometimes cannot hold her bowels. She doesn’t engage with us much anymore but still insists to sit right at my feet. I’m struggling with this decision BIG TIME. The guilt I feel is so heavy. But I know I’m my heart she deserves to be pain free. My family of 5 just loves her dearly. I pray this grief can pass and that Lilly can finally feel free of pain. Thanks you for all you do.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Danielle,
My heart goes out to you as you spend this last night with Lilly. I know how difficult this choice is, but I have no doubt you are making the right decision. I hope everything goes smoothly tomorrow and your sweet girl can find peace and rest surrounded by the ones that love her most. Praying for comfort for your heart and may her memory be a blessing to you and your family.
Renee Belzile says
My deep condolences. Sacha and I will be undegoing the same process on Wednesday. So many conflicting emotions. She is 15.5 years and has been my love since she was 2 months old. A long beautiful journey coming to an ‘end’. I keep thinking/hoping that only her body will be gone but her soul will be in my heart forever.
May they all rest in sweet peace.
.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Renee,
My heart goes out to you as you say goodbye to your sweet Sacha today. Praying for comfort for your heart and may her memory be a blessing. ♥
Catherine says
Thank you for this article! We are saying good bye tomorrow. I am incredibly afraid of the whole process, and although asked our vet about the details, your writing provided some comfort. Thank you for your compassion!
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Catherine,
I am glad you found the article helpful and comforting. I hope everything went smoothly as you said goodbye to your beloved dog. Praying for peace for your heart. ♥
cdb & dp says
We’re euthanizing our 16yo chihuahua in 2 days. She HATES taking her seizure med & cough med (potassium bromide & hydrocodone). I really really don’t want to force her to take the meds these last 2 days. How safe would that be?
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear cdb & dp,
I am sorry for the delay in replying. I hope you were able to figure everything out and give your sweet girl a peaceful last two days. Praying her transition was smooth and that her memory will be a blessing to you both. ♥
Stephanie Temple says
Gracie, our almost 15y.0. Lab mix, is my best friend and protector. When she was around 2, I was getting her out of the van for our daily walk at a local bike path. Suddenly she started growling. . I turned around and there was a man . He quickly stepped back and asked for directions. I believe in my whole heart, Gracie saved my life! She has been the best dog for my boys while growing up. Gracie has been through a lot in her life. From a ligament tear in her knee, flipped stomach, where she stopped breathing on the table and they got her back, to a dislocated hip, this ole gal has pulled through some tough times. She now has trouble walking. Most of the time needing help. This is the only thing that she has trouble with. Other than that , she is a normal dog. Ive come to realize that its not much quality of life for her to lay around all of the time. Even though she doesn’t seem to be in any pain, Im sure she has to be. We keep hoping she will fall asleep and not wake up but after reading some of your articles, I believe an in home euthanasia will be best for her and us. Just need to get the rest of the family on board. My youngest son was accepted into veterinary school for this fall and he has seen and held those dogs whose owners decide not to be there when it happens and he agrees with me. Please give us the strength to make this difficult decision. Thank you for letting me come across your page. I believe it was meant to be.
Steph 💕
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Stephanie,
I understand how difficult it is to say goodbye to a beloved dog. Gracie sounds like a once in a lifetime pup. I commend you for wanting to give her peace and rest before she is truly suffering and allow her to transition with some dignity and grace. In home euthanasia can be such a blessing. In my experience it has been such a comfort for the dog and the family to go through this transition together surrounded by love in their favorite spot. I hope Gracie’s last days are filled with love and joy. May her memory be a blessing! Wishing your son the best of luck with veterinary school. ♥
Rosa Elena Burgos says
I might have to help my dog cross the rainbow bridge this weekend. My dog had an amputation due to cancer found in her leg. The surgery only bought us a few more months with her. The cancer has spread and she has more tumors in her body. It’s so hard to prepare for something like this. I am not going to leave her alone in her last moments. As broken as I am feeling I will be there for her. Thank you for this article.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Rosa,
My heart goes out to you as you say goodbye to your beloved pup this weekend. It sounds like you are making the most loving decision to give your sweet girl peace and rest. I pray everything goes smoothly and she is surrounded by comfort and love. Bless you both. ♥
Mary-Kate says
I’m so thankful to read these tips and the replies as in just a couple of hours I will be saying goodbye to my almost 13-year-old golden doodle, Phoebe. She has an invasive form of oral cancer and I can just see in her eyes that she’s ready to cross the rainbow bridge. My heart is shattered, but I know this is best for her.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Mary-Kate,
I am glad the article and comments from other readers offered some comfort during this difficult process. I hope everything went smoothly and that Phoebe found peace and rest. Praying your heart will be comforted by the knowledge that she is no longer in pain or suffering. I have no doubt she knew how much you loved her and still do. May her memory be a blessing. ♥
Renee says
I’m so thankful I found this post! We are letting our 8 year old, first fur baby, German Shepherd go tomorrow. He has Degenerative Myelopathy and it has progressed over the last year to the point he can’t use his back legs, has started to become incontinent, and his breathing is just starting to look different. His mind is still the same and he’s still super motivated by food, but he can’t do anything and needs us to help him in and out and entice him to move. He’s 110 pounds and it’s taken a huge toll on our bodies to carry him even with a harness. Our vet said we don’t want to let it affect his diaphragm and cause respiratory distress, so that’s why we’re letting home go. This is the hardest thing ever,
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Renee,
I can only imagine how much you must miss your Shepherd boy. What a blessing to be able to give him peace and rest and allow him to transition with some dignity. I hope everything went smoothly and that his last day was filled with love. May his memory continue to be a blessing to you and your family.
Em Reh says
I am crying reading all this. My beloved 13 year old dog was euthanized last week. Everything went so smoothly. We were outside, she had the first injection to relax her and then the final and it was over quickly. She was very food motivated and never missed a meal. I so wanted to give her things she could never have as treats on that last day but the vet said no, to just feed her regular and nothing two hours before. I am so upset that I didn’t get to give her treats before her last moments and neither I nor she can ever get that back. While I am forever grateful things went well I will always regret she didn’t get what would have meant so much to her.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Em Reh,
I am sorry you are feeling so much regret about your girl’s last day. It isn’t uncommon for some veterinarians to recommend no extra treats before euthanasia. They are trying to prevent GI upset and possible aspiration during the sedation process. It sounds like everything else was peaceful and smooth. Honestly, I think your girl was happy you were with her till the last moments and knew how much she was loved. I don’t think she missed those treats one bit and hope you can let go of the unnecessary burden you are carrying with you. Praying you heart finds peace and comfort and that her memory will be a blessing.
Roxy says
Your 10 steps have helped as I sit here at 2:00 am trying to cope with the fact that in the morning it will be time for us to say good bye to our almost 13 year old Blue Heeler. This will be our third euthanasia in 6 years. Each time I’ve learned to watch for the signs and not hang on to long. I find myself realizing prolonging is only for me and not my dog. Each time is different ailments but each decision open scars and memories of each passing. At one time we found ourselves very rich with love for 3 dogs. They were a pack and as our Blue Heeler joins his brother and sister again I find myself wondering if we can ever do this again.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Roxy,
I am sorry you had to say goodbye to your Heeler boy and the last of your pack of three pups. I hope everything went smoothly yesterday and his last moments were filled with peace and love. Praying for comfort for your heart. May his memory be a blessing.
Dannielle says
Sending you a great big hug. I imagine the hardest part is having a date and waiting. Our dog is 13 with cancer and slowing down as the weeks pass. I’m trying my best to focus on the gratitude of 13 years yet very humanly, my heart is hurting to consider next steps. Xoxo
Tia says
We are letting our 11 year old boy go tomorrow morning. It’s past 3 am now, and I just can’t sleep. He’s our everything. He is our fourth child. He sleeps in between us in bed like a human, and he is codependent and needy, and has the hugest personality. He has been with us since he was a pup, and he and my children have grown up together. We are crushed. I don’t know how people do this over and over again. My heart is shattered. There will never be another like our Benny boy. We have only had one dog, and I am feeling the same way. I don’t know if I can go through this heartbreak again.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Tia,
I understand the heartbreak that comes with saying goodbye to a beloved dog and Benny sounds like a once in a lifetime pup. I hope his last days were filled with love surrounded by the people he loved the most. Praying his transition was smooth and peaceful. May his memory be a blessing to you and your family. ♥
Susan Mallory says
Thank you for this article. Tomorrow my 13 year young ,collie mix Harley will be euthanized at home. The vet we are using will then take Harley for a private cremation and his ashes will be returned home to me. . My boy was diagnosed three months ago. with oral cancer. Hie has several malignant tumors, which have caused several teeth to fall out, as this has aggressively and rapidly spread throughout the mouth, jawbone, soft tissue, gums and under the tongue., ( potentially metastatic to other organs). I am sad but after reading your article I am so glad for Harley! I am glad he will be set free in his home surrounded by his human, feline and canine family N members . Thank you again for your article, it truly brought me comfort and tomorrow Harley will have a nice puréed chocolate donut to celebrate his release from this horrific disease! .
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Susan,
What a beautiful way to think about today. I am sorry you had to say goodbye to your beloved Harley, but glad you were able to celebrate his freedom from pain. I am sure he enjoyed his pureed donut. I hope his transition was smooth and peaceful. May Harley’s memory be a blessing to you and your family.
Jean Parmer-Crenshaw says
My best hiking, walking, ball chasing and best snuggling fur baby. She wasn’t just a dog, she was my best girl. She would have been 14 years old in July. She was diagnosed with nasal cancer in September of 2021. I decided against surgery because I was told her entire nose would have to be removed and it would not guarantee the cancer would be gone. I did not want her subjected to that. I went to a wonderful holistic vet who treated her with Chinese herbs and acupuncture. Her nasal mass continued to grow and her breathing was affected. I kept hoping for a miracle that never came. I feel guilty for letting her go, but as I read your article. I decided one day early is better than one day late. So as much as it hurt, I pray it was the best for Galaxy.
We said goodbye to our very loved baby girl a. on Friday April 22. My heart is ripped apart and broken. I miss and love you so very very much Galaxy ❤️
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Jean,
It sounds like you did everything you could to make sure Galaxy did not have to suffer. I am sure you made the right choice even if it left you heartbroken and missing her terribly. I have no doubt she knew how much you loved her. I hope with time your heart will heal and find comfort knowing you gave her the peace and rest she deserved. May her memory be a blessing. ♥
Dense Thornburg says
We just received the diagnosis that our beloved 13 yr old black.lab…Miss Jewel has terminal soft tissue cancer along with arthritis. Surgery is not practical so we have her on meds to keep her comfortable until we have to make that very difficult decision. She is still eating good & getting around the best she can with our help when needed. I have lost a couple pets in my life but have never had to euthanize. It is just breaking my heart thinking about what is to come. Please pray that our last days together will be beautiful & that we can help her transition into the afterlife peacefully & knowing how much she was dearly loved. Thank you
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Dense,
I am sorry Jewel has received such a tragic diagnosis. I understand the heartbreak that comes with saying goodbye to a beloved dog. I hope these last days will be full of love and joy and her transition will be smooth and peaceful. Praying for comfort for your heart and that Jewel’s memory will continue to be a blessing.
Cheradie says
I. Reading this at 2am and tears are streaming down my face as I’m coming to terms with the decision I will have to make soon. My dear old girl, Gwyn, a 17 yr old Cyprus poodle, I rescued when she was 3mths old and had been hit by a car, is struggling to stand up and constantly falls down (she’s lame in one front leg and the back one was broken in the accident) our floors don’t help as they’re all tiled so we put large area rugs down to help but then she started having accidents in the house and we had to remove them. She also has canine dementia, not knowing where she is, and getting lost just walking through the house; I just had to go downstairs to her because I could hear her crying and she was ‘stuck’ under a dining chair, she just couldn’t work out how to get out from underneath it. She cries when I touch her and is snappy, which she never was before, but she always been sensitive to touch around her ears. I have a harness permanently on her to help her up and down the outside steps to the garden and to guide her without scaring her as she’s deaf and partially blind. too but all that being said she often runs around like a crazy puppy, super excited, especially when it’s treat time or time to go for a walk – that’s only to the field at the end of our short street as its as far as she can manage, but she enjoys going still. I don’t know what to do for the best, do I ask the vet for drugs to help her, she’s already on anti-inflamatories to help her legs, which they did for a time (perhaps I should increase her dose) buy her non-slip socks, but carpets down again…. or just accept it time and 17 is an amazing age.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Cheradie,
My heart aches for you and the difficult situation you are in with Gwyn. I know how hard it is to decide when to let go. It sounds like she is struggling quite a bit and her quality of life is declining. I always think it is better to say goodbye one day too early rather than one day too late and see them suffer needlessly. Even though letting go will cause heartbreak, it is the most loving and unselfish decision we can make for a beloved dog. I will attach a link to another article that may offer additional information and great comments from other readers. I hope you can find the answers you need to make the best decision for you and your sweet girl. Praying Gwyn will find peace and rest and your heart will be comforted knowing you did everything you could to honor her loyalty and love.
Dementia in Dogs: When to Euthanize Your Beloved Senior Dog
DaMarkus Milner says
Hey Denise, our prayers are with you. It’s not easy to make the decision. Our 10 year black lab Diesel is battle thyroid cancer. The last two weeks we’ve had to keep him calm with medication to relax his breathing. As a fellow lab owner, you know the challenges of that!
Tonight was a rough episode when we attempted to take him on a night walk and he had to sit to catch his breath.
Currently writing this as my pregnant fiancé is crying in the shower knowing we only have a few more days…
We as humans don’t deserve dogs. Sending you warm thoughts and payers for the last few days you have with your lab.
Love you’re fellow lab owner
Courtny Hawkins says
We are debating if it is time to put down our rescue dachshund. We have had her for 3 years and have been told she is 21 years old. Whether that’s true or not, she is definitely old and I can see her health is declining. 3 years ago when we took her in at her first vet check up we were told she was at least 14, maybe 16. In the recent months she has become relent on her anti-inflammatory medication, struggles to walk as her legs give out often. She spends most of her time in her bed or on the couch next to me. Even though she has a hard time getting around she’ll make a point to follow me to whichever room I go. I have witnessed her getting lost as if she suddenly doesn’t know where she is and have found her lost standing in the corner of the walk-in closet. She’ll periodically search for me even though I am in plain sight, when I call her name she can’t seem to find where the sound is coming from. Just this morning I witnessed her have a small seizure. The only thing I have seen that she still likes is wandering the neighborhood with her nomad soul. That and seeing me are the only two things that seem to still bring her joy, even if she can only take herself on a short walk before coming home. I’ve scheduled a quality of life appointment for two days from now. I am heartbroken that after 3 short years our time is coming to an end. I wish I could have saved her sooner, I knew the family she came from they were not kind. I hope I have given her some kind of haven here in her last years.. The question now is, is it really time? I don’t know how to continue.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Courtny,
I am sorry your senior girl is declining so quickly. I hope the quality-of-life appointment yesterday was informative and offered you the answers you needed to make this difficult decision. It sounds like most of your pup’s issues are related to canine cognitive dysfunction which can be very debilitating and cause unwanted suffering. I will attach links to other articles that may offer additional information. From what you describe, letting go may be the most loving option and the only way to offer your girl peace and rest. Praying for comfort for your heart and the strength to do what is best for you and your sweet girl. Bless you both.
1. Canine Cognitive Dysfunction in Dogs: Signs, Symptoms, Solutions
2. Dementia in Dogs: When to Euthanize Your Beloved Senior Dog
jm says
Do dogs ever die peacefully in their sleep? I so wanted my 17-year-old boy to go without medical intervention. No vet here offers euthanasia outside of a clinical setting, and it seems like an insult and a disrespect to both of us.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Hi Jodie,
I am sorry you are in such a difficult situation with your senior boy. I understand your hesitation to have his final moments take place in a clinical setting. While I am sure some dogs do pass peacefully in their sleep, in my experience, most will go through some suffering with pain or anorexia before finally passing away. You may want to talk to the local veterinarians and find out what a typical euthanasia experience is like in their clinic. Some clinics have special rooms with soft dog beds and more “normal furniture” for these appointments. Some even play soft music or light candles. Just because it takes place in a clinic doesn’t mean it has to feel sterile and cold. I hope you can find a way to make the goodbye peaceful and full of love and comfort. Bless you both.
Sarah says
We have a 9 year old flatcoat retriever. He has arthritis and hip dysplasia, as well as something in his back that the neurologists think is cancer. It’s a 5k mri to know for sure, so the vet said if it was her dog she’d consider putting him down. We’re planning to go tomorrow. I just can’t stand that he is out in the yard walking around right now, eating okay, interacting still, but we’re going to end his life. Idk how to live with the decision. He is in pain, we know that, but I still can’t reconcile what we’re doing.
Sarah
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Sarah,
I understand how difficult it is to make the decision to say goodbye. Sometimes the situation just isn’t straight forward and leaves room for second guessing your choices. It sounds like you made the right choice. Your sweet boy was in pain, and you allowed him to find peace and rest while he still had some dignity and joy in his life. I think it is better to let them go one day too early rather than one day too late and go through needless suffering. I hope his transition today was peaceful and smooth. Praying for comfort for your heart. May his memory be a blessing to you and your family.
VKP says
Our sweet dog, Rusty, is only 5, but was diagnosed with multiple brain tumors on Monday after experiencing a myriad of strange symptoms for the past three weeks. We hoped to love on him for a few more weeks, but it’s clear that he is declining very quickly, so we have decided to let him go as peacefully as possible before things get much, much worse. He is already barely able to walk, can’t control his bladder, and is having seizures. I found a wonderful local vet who will help us tomorrow afternoon. We plan to meet with her outside, because Rusty has always loved to sleep in the sun, and it looks like it will be a beautiful day. We are shocked and shattered to have to make this choice for such a young dog, but are grateful that we can give him this one last gift.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear VKP,
I am sorry about the tragic diagnosis Rusty received. I can only imagine how hard it must be to lose a beloved dog so early in life. What a blessing to be able to give him one last day in the sunshine surrounded by the people who loved him most. I hope his transition was smooth and peaceful. Praying for comfort for you and that his memory will be a blessing.
Olivia says
My parents keep taking about how we are probably going to need to put our dog down soon. She is around 13 years old and has a heart condition and Arthritis. She takes medicine. She still eats, drinks, runs, and plays but one of her legs clearly bothers her. I don’t think she is ready to be put down because the only thing that seems to be wrong is her leg that hurts. I just don’t know how to feel. Do you have any suggestions?
Julie Buzby DVM says
Hi Olivia,
I understand your hesitation to say goodbye to your senior girl. It is a difficult decision and often is not straight forward. It might not be a bad idea to talk to your vet or schedule a consult with an integrative vet in your area. There may be additional medications or therapies that could get her pain level under control and offer her more quality time. Your vet can also let you know if your pup is suffering and if the best option is to let go. I hope you can find the answers you need to make the best decision for everyone involved. Praying for clarity and comfort.
Kharis says
We found out on Feb 25th that our 12 year old boxer-blue healer mix Riley has a large mass on her spleen that is cancer. We were so shocked with the diagnosis we took her home that day to figure out what to do. Really surgery is not an option, too expensive and not guaranteed to save her. With the mass being so large chances are it has spread to other organs. I have prayed about this and she is not eating well and is whimpering in pain, I just can’t watch her suffer any longer, so we have an appointment to put her down. I am going to miss our sweet, smart, loving girl. She was my daughters dog, but I got so attached to her she stayed with me when my daughter moved out. I pray still that this is the right thing to do.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Kharis,
I am sorry your sweet girl is suffering and has received such a devastating diagnosis. It sounds like you are making the right decision to allow her to find peace and rest. Letting go is so incredibly difficult and heartbreaking, but it is the most loving and unselfish choice we can make for a beloved dog. I have no doubt Riley knows how much you love her. I pray these last days are filled with love and joy. Wishing you comfort for the days ahead.
Carole says
We are putting our golden doodle Summer down in a few hours. She is 13, and has been the most intelligent, fun, stubborn and energetic dog I’ve ever had. ? She’s had a long and wonderful life, but my children are having a difficult time with this. I found your article and I’d like to say thank you, I’m sure it will comfort and prepare them. Although I have been thru this before it was helpful to me also.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Carole,
I am sorry you had to say goodbye to Summer. I am glad the article helped a bit and hopefully offered some peace of mind for your children. I hope Summer’s passing was peaceful. Praying for comfort for your family and may her memory be a blessing.
Kimberly says
This article has brought me much clarity and peace, thank you!! I am getting ready to put my baby Rosie down as she has been fighting skin cancer for 6+months now. I find it the most fascinating to be a witness of her strength. The hardest part in making this decision was being confused because she does not show that she is going through it. Her tail wags with excitement, goes on short walks, is eating/going potty normally, and plays fetch with her favorite ball. But I know it is time for her to find her peace once more. Big hugs to all who are going through this processing. <3
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Kimberly,
Thank you for the kind words about the article. I am glad you are able to make such a loving and unselfish decision for Rosie and let her go with some dignity and joy. Praying her transition is smooth and that you find comfort knowing she is pain free and at rest. Bless you both!
Stephanie says
I’m taking my 14 year old Australian Shepherd/chocolate lab mix to the vet on Monday. She’s a great doggo. Got her at a shelter when she was about 1-2 y/o. They found her on the side of the road. I picked her because she was the calmest, scared dog in the place. I fell in love with her because she’s the sweetest, smartest and, at times, a lovable mischief maker. She is fully trained in her commands like sit, stay, get out of the kitchen (she’s big and uses her size as an argument when I’m cooking), etc.
However, now she’s slowing down. I think it may be time. She will be relaxed and start breathing heavily (right now she’s at my feet huffing like she ran a mile). She coughs and chokes when eating (doesn’t stop her so I have to slow her down). She’s just not happy like she used to be and seems scared all the time.
I at first ignored the signs. Just contributed it all to an older dog and didn’t want to acknowledge the frequency. A friend pointed out how bad it was getting and I realized I was being selfishly obtuse.
I don’t know what the vet is going to say on Monday but I have an inkling. Even if it is not the end of the road for the Lettie Dog (AKA Nubs, Lettie-Bettie-Boo, Lettster, etc.), I know 14 is a great feat for a dog of her size. While I hate it, I’ll be sure to give her a great ending when the time comes. Might even let her have some of the forbidden chocolate before the euthanasia if the vet okays it. She’ll lose her mind as it is the ONLY thing she’s ever wanted (or at least that’s how she acts when I eat it).
Julie Buzby DVM says
Hi Stephanie,
I understand how hard it is to see a beloved dog start to decline and struggle. I am glad you had an appointment to have her examined by your vet. I am curious to know what you found out. Since I haven’t examined your girl myself, I can’t make specific conclusions, but I am suspicious of possible laryngeal paralysis. I will attach links to other articles with some additional information. I hope you found the answers you needed to make the best decision for you and your senior girl. If you have a chance, feel free to leave us an update. Bless you both. ♥
1. Laryngeal Paralysis in Dogs: The Ultimate Guide
2. Canine Laryngeal Paralysis: A Veterinarian Answers Your Questions
Ashley says
We just found out a few days ago that our Lab has a large mass on her spleen. She is 11 years old. She has intermittent episodes of abdominal pain but they resolve in a few hours and she is herself again. We have decided surgery would just be too extensive to put her through. We have scheduled lap of love to come to our home this weekend but I’m really struggling. She doesn’t have an illness that I can physically see. She’s still her happy, butt wagging self. I know it’s the right thing, so she doesn’t suffer or have a traumatic ending if/when the mass ruptures, but this is so much harder than when our other Lab was physically ill. We let her suffer too long and I don’t want that to happen to our current dog.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Ashley,
I am sorry about the poor diagnosis your girl has been given. I know what a difficult decision you have made and that it came from a place of love. I would do the same thing if it was my decision to make. We allow our hearts to break so they can find peace and rest and save them from suffering and pain. I hope everything went smoothly and her last days were filled with joy. May her memory be a blessing to you and your family.
Yvonne says
Hi my shih Tzu girly Daffny is 11 1/2 and has cancer, an agressive tumour in her mouth she has had antibiotics and medicine for 6 weeks you can tell it’s growing and it smells but she is still eating and doing her normal activities my family say I should let her go, but I feel sick inside I know I have to make a decision soon but she’s my baby I’ve had her since she was a baby, she’s like my shadow and such an adorable little being like a human I can’t bear the thought of her in pain ,am I wrong to give her a little longer x
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Yvonne,
I understand what a difficult decision you have to make. It is different for every dog and every situation is unique. Letting go is the most loving and unselfish thing we can do for a beloved dog that is suffering. Oral pain can be severe, and dogs are masters at hiding just how bad they feel. I always think it is better to say goodbye one day too early rather than one day too late. I try to let them go with dignity while they are still happy and have some joy. Ultimately, you know your pup better than anyone and will have to decide what is best for you and her. I hope you get the answers you need to find the right timing for a final goodbye and allow your girl to have peace and rest. Praying you find strength for the hard days ahead.
Maja says
My dog is 8, but for the past years he’s been suffering slowly. Due to hip issues from his breed, it only started getting worse around 4 years ago, but now he breathes and heaves loudly. Has trouble walking the long walks he used to adore. And recently he has heart issues, as well as weird large bumps on his body.
We plan to put him down next month, but I don’t know how I will cope. Since he’s always been next to me, always barking and pawing me for attention. (I give him lots of attention 🙂 So I hope when we finally let him rest, he will have a good last day.
I hope using this will help me slowly, but through heartache.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Maja,
I understand how heavy your heart is knowing your sweet boy is nearing his final days. I hope you can make the most of the time you have left. Enjoy every moment and shower him with love and affection. I pray your heart will find healing and comfort knowing you are making the most unselfish decision you can by allowing your beloved pup to find peace and rest. Bless you both. ♥
Johanna says
We will be saying goodbye to our 17 year old Maltepo tomorrow. Thank you for this article. We are still processing the decision we have made, but know that it is the best decision for our baby. He had 17 healthy years, we can’t complain. Tomorrow will be a very difficult day, but now having read your article you gave me ideas of what we can do for him. Not sure he’ll still want vanilla ice cream, but he used to love it when he was younger! Thank you again, and hugs to all those reading, I know if you’re reading this article is because you’re going through or have gone through similar pain and loss.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Johanna,
I am glad you found the article helpful as you faced a difficult and emotional decision. I hope your pup’s final day was filled with love and his transition was smooth and peaceful. What a blessing to have shared 17 years together. May his memory continue to offer you comfort as you continue life’s journey.
Christina says
I am currently laying her after making the decision to put my best friend Lilah down this coming Monday. I’m struggling as usually it’s been to the stage where I know hands down it’s time, but with lilah, she just recently got diagnosed with heart failure and after getting her on lasix I thought was going to buy more time, but about 7 days ago it all changed and it’s almost constant vomiting and coughing and hacking, but he strong girl just wants to still eat and drink though none of it stays down anymore. She also still jumps up to greet me and that’s what’s making this decision even harder! I don’t want her to think or feel like I gave up on her, or hate me in the slightest, I just want her to it’s bc I love her I had to let her feel peace again.
I plan on making tomorrow when I get off work the start of the last 24 hours with us special, take her for a car ride by the lake, feed her good food (though it won’t stay down) and sleep by her side all night then finish the same beautiful outside time before the appointment.
I’m just not sure how I’m going to be able to let her go when it’s time, she’s my world, I rescued her about 11 years ago, but I’m pretty sure she’s the best me that saved me and has continued to over the years, I’m not sure I’m ready for a life without her. I already dream of seeing her again! We don’t deserve pets, but damn I definitely didn’t deserve her! ??
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Christina,
My heart aches for you as you spend this last day with your beloved Lilah. She sounds like a once in a lifetime pup and what a blessing you have been to each other. I know the decision you made is difficult but comes from a place of love. There is no greater gift we can give a dog than allowing them to find peace and rest after a lifetime of faithfulness. I hope she enjoys the car ride and her special treats today. Praying for a nice sunny day for her tomorrow. Give your sweet girl a hug for me. Bless you both. ♥
Ekai says
My dog is He is 12 and a half but he is not ready to go yet. But he has high care needs, and I can’t care for him any more. As well as needing a boot to walk, his back legs are in pain due to a pinched spinal nerve. I can’t find a dog walker who is able to give him the time he needs and I don’t have the time or the emotional resilience for the intensive nursing he requires to get ready to go out a few times a day. I have made an appointment to have him euthanased next week. I don’t know how I will survive until then. I know it’s the right thing to do, but I just don’t know how I will cope.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Hi Ekai,
I understand the difficult decision you had to make, and it sounds like it is the most loving option for you and your senior guy. Try to make these last days full of love and joy. Savor every moment and make memories that will last forever. I pray your sweet boy will have a smooth and peaceful transition and you will find comfort for your heart.
Beverly Barter says
I have a beautiful 21 year old miniature pinchner. Over a year ago, she was diagnosed with congestive Heart Failure and a year ago with dementia. I have had her on medications this entire time, but unfortunately she is getting worse. Coughing more at night due to the Congestive heart failure and sun down at night, sleeps thru out the entire day, paces thru out the house for hours, has to wear a diaper due to her encontinance, but she still stable with her walking, eats and drinking very well and gives me my kisses everyday.
I can’t decide if it’s time to euthanize her
I feel like I am giving up on her. and that she might have more time.
She seems not to be in any pain, but she is not my same little girl anymore
Am I giving up too soon 😢
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Beverly,
I am sorry you are facing this difficult decision for your senior girl. Without examining her myself, it is hard to make specific conclusions. I do think that the suffering caused by mental disease is just as bad, if not worse, as physical disease. Ther are many factors that play a role in a good quality of life. Does your girl still have daily activities that bring her joy? You mentioned she gives kisses, but does she still seek out affection from you or other loved ones consistently? It sounds like your girl may have just entered her “window of time” where letting go can be a good option, but it may not be urgent at this point. I will attach links to other articles with more information. Hoping you can find the answers you need to help navigate this emotional path. Bless you. ♥
1. Dementia in Dogs: When to Euthanize Your Beloved Senior Dog
2. Using a Quality of Life Scale for Dogs
3. Dog Euthanasia: Knowing When to Say Goodbye
Alison says
The first pup to join me and my girls left us last Mo day at the grand old age of 13and a bit, which I believe is old for a Lab. she had a mass on her spleen which had ruptured so it was very unexpected and so totally devastating. Jess was the best girl right up to the end and it’s been so hard without her. My eldest daughter is heartbroken as she was her pup but it was the only thing we could do for her
Run free Jessey girl ❤️
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Alison,
I am sorry your goodbye with Jess was so tragic and on such short notice. You definitely made the right decision and did the only loving and unselfish thing you could, to give her peace and rest. I hope with time your heart will heal and you will be comforted by the knowledge that Jess had a happy life with you and your girls. May her memory be a blessing. ♥
Mitzis mom says
We just put our 13 1/2 year old black lab, Mitzi, to sleep yesterday. She was a beaten and damaged almost 2 year old when we rescued her. We spent several months getting her to trust us and when we finally broke through, she was an amazing dog. So full of love. She went with us on every single vacation except 2 over our 12 years with her. She went hiking, camping, canoeing… everything we did, she did too. Then she got old. She battled with GOLPP (geriatric onset laryngeal paralysis polyneuropathy) for at least two years but fought hard every day. She finally ended up with a ruptured hygroma on her elbow that I’m pretty sure was probably cancerous. We didn’t put her in surgery because of her age and condition so we didn’t do a biopsy but the doctors also think there was something going on in that elbow. Sadly, it got infected and as hard as we tried, we couldn’t get it under control. It sent her GOLPP into a tailspin and made her breathe harder, barely be able to walk a few steps, and she couldn’t get herself up. Her last day was a beautiful day. Your article made me feel better because we did actually take most of this into consideration. Her last day was spent outside all day, for the first time in months without a huge struggle, lots of treats, and tons of hugs and kisses. She laid down in her favorite spot in the yard. And after hours of barely moving and siting up all day, she was so exhausted that she fell fast asleep. She didn’t even budge when the doctor arrived for the procedure. So we did it right where she laid herself down. It’s like she went to sleep and that was it. It was peaceful and better than we had imagined. But she was our baby. Our first dog and with so much history over 12 years with her, I’m so devastated to lose her. I miss her so very very much and can’t stop crying. I reflect back on how everything was so peaceful but we didn’t plan well for what to do after. We thought we were going to do cremation, only because she was a big dog and we didn’t know how to dig that big of a hole. But we tried to dig and it worked better than expected so we decided at the last minute to bury her at home. Again, I’m thankful for that decision and am glad we made it. But I feel like we buried her too quickly. The doctor hadn’t been gone for long before we had her in the ground. We first thought it was right because we’re in a busy neighborhood and didn’t want everyone staring, and she had an open wound so we didn’t want flies getting to it. So we buried her rather quickly. We are planning a tree planting and memorial where she is buried but I can’t help feeling like I disrespected her by moving so quickly after she was gone. We thought it made sense but now wish we had slowed down. After 12 years and a lot of love, this just seemed too fast. I’m not sure how to get past this. I miss her but I know it was the right thing to euthanize. But how do I sort this feeling of how she was handled after her death? How can I stop crying over her being gone when I know it was best for her?
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Mitzis Mom,
Thank you for sharing your story with our readers. What a blessing to have had such a wonderful last day with your sweet girl! I can only imagine how peaceful it must have been for her to fall asleep in her spot, completely happy, and find peace and rest. I am sorry you are feeling guilt about how quickly she was buried. I feel like you made the right decision. Mitzi’s spirit was already gone, and I have no doubt she knew how much she was loved. I hope with time your heart will heal and you will be comforted in the knowledge that she passed with dignity. May her memory continue to be a blessing.
Floyd Keith says
We had to say goodbye to our sweet german short haired pointer Jeb yesterday. He had cancer. We only found out about it a couple of days ago when he just collapsed in our bathroom. We took him to an emergency vet and he found the cancer through an ultrasound. My wife and I were devastated. He went downhill too fast. We called Lap of Love and they came to our house. We have a pool with two fountains that he loved to sit by and just relax. We put a blanket over a big round sun chair just above the fountains with the Florida sun shining down. He was so weak he could barely walk but he tried to jump up there like he always did. He loved to lay in the sun. He gets up there and he looks right at the sun. There wasn’t a cloud in the sky. It was like he was saying, “Man, what a day to go!”. With his ma and pa holding him and crying like babies, he got his sedative. He tried to fight it and hold his head up but we told him it was ok to relax. Minutes later, he got the second shot and he was gone. And he took most of my heart with him. I walk around the house today wondering what I’m going to do without my best buddy around. He was always with us. The one good thing to come out of Covid was that we got two years to be around him every day. I’m completely lost and don’t want to go on but he would want me to take care of his girl. So, that’s what I’m going to do. Chase those birds, baby Jebby. Your Pa is devastated here without you.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Floyd,
Jeb sounds like he was a once in a lifetime dog. What a blessing to have spent so much extra time together the past two years. I understand the heartache you describe and the empty space they leave behind once they are finally at rest. I hope with time your heart will heal and you will find comfort in knowing Jeb had a happy and joy filled life. May his memory be a blessing. ♥
Lisa says
We are in the process of deciding when our dog, Bentley, should cross the rainbow bridge. He has been with us almost 10 years, we got him as a rescue. He has always been just a total people person and a love to all – great with kids. He had been shot before we adopted him.; so he has always displayed signs of anxiety.. We mostly controlled that with a little CBD, lavender, and a thundershirt, but he still had some occasional twitches and tics. Last year, on one of our lovely walks (he walked 2x per day for about 60 – 90 minutes each walk), I noticed his left hind paw was rolling over and he was not noticing it. At first, it just seemed odd but it started happening more and then it happened on his right one too. He also started losing his balance a lot when squatting to poop.
Fast forward a few months and he was diagnosed with a degenerative nerve disease, most likely degenerative myelopathy. By June 2021, it got so bad we walked him with a strap and invested in a wheelchair/cart for him. His right hind leg was functional, but not his left one. Now – he cannot use the back half of his body. He is starting to lose control of his bodily functions. The strange things about a nerve issue – we have no idea if he feels any pain, though he cannot sleep through the night. He has entire body tremors that look nothing like the original occasional tics he had. His lone bright spot of the day is getting in that cart to go for a walk – but it is becoming more difficult and he is not as strong or mobile in the front as he was even 2 months ago…. or even a month ago when he had another UTI with a lot of blood in his urine (an antibiotic cleared that up)
When I sit on the floor with him and lie face to face, looking into his eyes – he almost seems to be pleading to be let go. His breathing is more labored, he wants me to scratch his nose and side of his face and then sighs deeply into my hands while I am doing so.
In my heart and my gut, I know that it is selfish to keep him alive for me (and my partner and daughter) or for some off chance that he will miraculously improve, and that keeping him alive is unfair to him. The comments here and the article, have really helped me to see that the decision is very personal and that there are varying degrees of suffering we can withstand…. and ultimately, I need to try and put myself into his shoes to see if I can empathize with his current experience.
Sorry if I was rambling, it’s just so hard and it makes me so sad.. He is such a total and complete love.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Lisa,
I can feel the emotion in your words and understand the difficult decision you have in front of you. It is hard to say goodbye knowing it will give sweet Bently peace but leave you heartbroken. Dogs are amazing and give us everything. Allowing them to find their final rest is the last, most loving, and unselfish choice we can make. I always say it is better to let go one day too early rather than one day too late. I hope you can find the answers you need to feel comfortable with whatever decision you decide to make. I pray his last days are filled with love and that his memory will be a blessing to you and your family.
Sherylyn says
I’m in the same situation with my dog Bentley. I just adore his name so your story caught my attention. I’m 66 yrs old and he’s 15 yrs and 8 months old. Currently, he has tumors on his liver and an anal gland tumor he’s had since I rescued him 4 years ago. I just wanted to say to you that be glad you have a family right their to support you so that you don’t have to go through this alone. I have a son and 4 grandchildren but they’re so busy with their lives although most of them live only 5 miles away from me they are all just so busy with their lives until there’s no time for Bentley and I. Therefore, I will have to go through this all alone. So please cherish the fact you have your mate and daughter to support you and I wish you many peaceful days ahead.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Sherylyn,
I am sorry you are going through this difficult time and feeling alone. I understand your son and his family are busy, but I encourage you to reach out and ask for emotional support. Sometimes we get so caught up in our lives we aren’t aware of what others around us are going through, but if made aware we would step in and help. I am praying for you and your sweet Bentley. Don’t hesitate to leave us another update!
Destinie says
This week I will be saying goodbye to my baby doberman boy. He’s only 8 years old, has CHF and after having him drained for the 3rd time in 6 months on friday he has gone way downhill. I regret getting him drained as before I did he was eating small amounts and still wanted to go on walks and play some. I feel like I made things worse because I wanted to buy more time. I made the appointment for sat but I have a feeling I may have to call them in sooner as he won’t eat anything and trying to feed him with a syringe just to force pills down his throat is traumatizing for both of us. I am letting people come say goodbye today (monday) and tomorrow. I want to stop giving him his meds but not sure if that will put him in more distress. I have a lot of family and friends who support me but for some reason I still feel alone. I have been reading pet loss blogs and even listening to videos that pet psychics have made even though I dont believe in them. I am trying everything I can to be strong so I don’t make his final days stressful on him or my other dog. I worked at a vet ER when I was in high-school 20 years ago and remember not wanting to pursue my career because of the EU process. It didn’t matter if I had met the dog before, it destroyed my soul. Gave me nightmares. I have had many dogs before my boy however they got to grow old and although it was hard, it wasn’t as hard as this time around. I feel so bad that I couldn’t do more and even worse that I put him through so much at the cardiologist because I don’t want to let go. I feel like I’m drowning in pain. I don’t know if I should seek therapy or if it will just subside on its own. I’m leaving a comment because I honestly feel like I am bumming my family and friends out. Its comforting to know I am not crazy. Sorry to everyone who is going through what I am. I wish dogs could live as long as us. They deserve to live forever.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Destinie,
I am sorry you had to say goodbye to your Doberman boy. I understand the heartache that comes with making this decision. Even though it leaves us hurting, it is the most loving and unselfish choice we can make for our beloved dogs. I hope his transition was smooth and peaceful. It is always a good idea to reach out for help when dealing with such strong emotions and feelings. Therapy is wonderful and is such good medicine for the soul. I hope you have found some comfort and with time your heart will heal. May the memory of your sweet boy be a blessing as you continue life’s journey. ♥
Rene Archambault says
My faithful friend Will is 18. He blind and eating less. I. Am being selfish and apprehensive about letting him go. But my mind tells me it would be the right decision.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Rene,
I understand how difficult it is to say goodbye to a beloved dog. Allowing Will to find peace and rest is the most loving and last decision you can make for him. What a blessing to have shared 18 years together! I hope you can find the strength to make the choice you know is best and that with the end of his suffering your heart will find comfort as well. May his memory be a blessing. ♥
Khanh says
Hi Dr. Buzby:
I inadvertently found this wonderful and compassionate article; I loved your ten points, and I think this should be a must read for anyone who will be facing the reality of euthanasia, even well before they must deal with it.
A little about me: I’ve had six guide dogs over the past two plus decades–five from The Seeing Eye Inc. and one that I trained from puppyhood. I’ve also mentored and helped a number of novice dog handlers–both pet and service dogs. The topic of saying goodbye gets avoided until it has to be broached, but I’ve had a few people want to discuss it beforehand.
I’ve been fortunate to be the one to make the decision and be present when two of my guides were euthanized. Korema, my black Lab/Golden cross and a rocket dog, guided me through my last two years of college and was present during numerous travels and through several jobs. She became ill suddenly at age eight, diagnosed with hepatic encephalopathy. We never did learn the exact cause, just that her liver was rapidly failing. When I made the decision to let her go, I was blessed in that I had my long-time dog trainer and mentor on the phone with me the entire time.
I think the hardest part for me was the process; it was my first time, and I remember feeling terrified. When the final injection was administered, for a split second, I felt an incredible sense of peace, llike I was getting a teeny glimpse of wherever Korema was going.. It was almost like she was saying: “Thank you for letting me go.”
Then it was gone, she was gone. I didn’t begin to grieve until days later, but hard as it was, I recognized that my grief was for me. I knew Korema’s work with me was done, and wherever she was in the cosmos, I knew she was doing greater things.
My fourth dog, Zitta, was a sassy and confident female German Shepherd. She was diagnosed with visceral hermangiosarcoma at age nine. This time, I was more prepared. Though she was euthanized at our emergency vet’s, everyone was wonderful, and I brought her puppy picture album for the staff to see and smile, even as they said goodbye to her.
The hardest part of this experience was unlike Korema who could barely move on her last day, Zitta was fully conscious; she was exhausted because her heart was full of fluid. But she was fully aware of her surroundings. Intellectually, I knew what needed to be done, but emotionally I was full of guilt–what if I could put it off for another few days or weeks? But if I did that, it would have only been for me, not for Zitta’s quality of llife.
Zitta’s last words to the world was a disapproving “Woof.” When the vet tech knocked on the office door to check in with me. Minutes before the euthanasia proceedure, I told her: “Thanks for everything, pal. You’re free to leave. And I don’t want you to wait for me. There’s a whole cosmos out there for you to explore and beings for you to meet. Go meet them and love them.”
When I left the room with Dr. Julia ten minutes later, I felt like someone was folowing me, and I turned around. As soon as I did, that feeling was gone. Maybe Z wanted to just make sure I was safe. Whatever the case, I knew she was free, and I was glad that I could be there to see her go.
Both experiences have taught me that as hard as letting go is, it’s also the best final gift I can give my dogs. And being there to witness them leave is for me a beautiful moment.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Khanh,
Thank you so much for your beautiful testimony! The experience you share with your words is priceless and I am sure other readers will benefit from it. Korema and Zitta both sound like once in a lifetime dogs. What a blessing to have shared your life with them. Wishing you the best. ♥
Leslie says
my corgi was put to sleep yesterday. He had cancer, I wasn’t ready to let him go but I knew I had to. I did hold him, kiss him and told him thank you for being mine and being a good dog. I told him you did your job protecting mom (me) and now it’s time for you to rest and be pain free, I told him now you can protect me from heaven. But when I got home not seeing him, cleaning up after him, having him bark all different times at night I can’t stop crying. I had him for 13 and a half years. This cancer came from no where just one day he lost the use of one leg the a while later he lost the use of both hind legs. But this is hitting me so hard, I just start crying and feel heartbroken. I do smell him in my house and around me. I have lost 3 dogs before him and a cat but the way I am feeling about losing him is hitting me hard. What should I do ?
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Leslie,
Some dogs just find a deeper connection with our hearts than others. I am so sorry you had to say goodbye to your heart dog. It sounds like you made the most loving decision and allowed your sweet boy to find peace and rest. There are pet loss support groups on Facebook and other websites that may be the emotional support you are looking for. Also, please know that there is absolutely no shame in reaching out to a professional therapist for help. Many people could benefit from a little extra support, even if just temporarily, while dealing with strong emotions and difficult situations. I hope with time your heart will heal and you will be comforted knowing you gave your sweet boy the happiest life possible. May his memory be a blessing. ♥
Kimberly says
I came across your article this morning after a very long night with my beautiful daughter Yorkie Kate. Kate just turned 12 at the end of January. She has been having issues since before she was 5. We have bonded over all that life has thrown at us. Blind before 5 and now cataracts. Kate also has atypical Cushings disease which I used to give medication for but haven’t for a couple years because of the side effects and loss of weight. On a normal day she weights around 6 pounds so not much to loose. Over the last several years she has developed a cyst or lump on her leg and we go in at first about every 6 months and we would have it removed. Over this past twelve months it is coming back very fast. Our last surgery was in November and the vet did a longer deeper cut in hopes to get it all. Well less than 2 months later it is in a new spit close to the original cyst but it has moved and now there is two not one. My heart is broken. Kate is starting to be uncomfortable and our vet is out until march 9th. I know I need to let her go. My heart knows it’s time. We have given life all that we have and faught it with all our ability. Thank you for this post. I will at least know to pay upfront. And spend some time with her before the injections are given
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Kimberly,
It sounds like you are making the right decision for sweet Kate. I am sorry you will have to say goodbye to your beloved girl very soon. I hope her last days are peaceful and filled with joy and love. I pray with time your heart will heal and that her memory will continue to be a blessing.
Tessa says
I’m a college student, 2 hours away from home. My mom just texted me to tell me that they are putting my dog down on Monday. My baby of 13 years, Rosco, has probably spent so much time just wondering where I am and I feel terrible for leaving him for so long. I wish the first time he gets to see me in such a long time won’t be on the table of a clinic. I want to bring him his favorite food before he goes but I don’t know how much is too much. Would an icecream cone be too much for him to injest before the procedure? He is a Labrador retriever and has been known to eat a like Marley from Marley and Me.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Tessa,
Don’t feel guilty for the time you had to be away from Roscoe. I have no doubt he knows how much you love him. What a wonderful gift it will be for you to be with him on Monday. I think the ice cream is a great idea and will make him so happy. I hope his transition will be peaceful and smooth and I pray you will find comfort in allowing him to find rest. May his memory be a blessing to you as you continue on life’s journey.
tammy stewart says
I am taking my 14 yr old lab saturday to cross the bridge. i am taking his little brother with us because they are bonded. My lab has been on palletive care due to a tumor in his neck. His arthritis is acting up and the tumor is affecting his breathing. It is not going to be easy but I know it is best for him. I like the thought of bringing a treat for him he could not have. I just know I am going to lose it and hope my little guy will understand.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Tammy,
My heart goes out to you during this difficult time. I pray that your sweet boy will feel nothing but love and peace as he makes his transition tomorrow. I am sure he knows how much you love him and that your presence will be a comfort. With time I hope your heart will heal and that his memory will be a blessing.
Shay says
My precious 16 yr old Maltese mix is no longer walking.. she has a heart condition, kidney failure and seizures (although her she’s been doing well with her seizures). She still eats & drinks so I definitely feel guilty for possibly having to put her down. I am making my decision at the end of the month but I just don’t know what to do. Animals are suppose to be mobile and shouldn’t have to lay all the time.. I think she’s tired but I just don’t know.
Any advice?
Julie Buzby DVM says
Hi Shay,
I understand the difficult decision you have to make. It does sound like your girl is struggling and letting go may be the most loving option. I will attach a link to another article that may offer some insight. We never want to see our beloved dogs suffer and saying goodbye one day too soon is always better than one day too late. I hope you can figure out what is best for you and your sweet girl. My heart goes out to you during this trying time. ♥
Signs Your Dog is Dying: A Caring Message to Bring You Peace
Kathryn says
At 9:45 tomorrow morning I will be saying Goodbye for the last time to Pinky Tuscadaro. She is 15 years old and definitely the momma dog at our house. She is blind in both eyes now and has a heart condition that kept the vet from trying to remove the cataracts that plauged her. She has survived a terrible earlier life and found out what Love and Compassion really was when we rescued her. She came into our home lost and lonely and is leaving us loved and wanted.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Kathryn,
I am glad you were able to give Pinky a loving life for her senior years. She was lucky to have you in her life and I am sure you feel the same. I pray her transition was smooth and peaceful. May her memory be a blessing to you and your family.
Karen says
We are preparing to say good bye to our beloved 14 year old Cockapoo, Luchini. He has always been fairly healthy throughout his life, but in April 2019 he was diagnosed with Diabetes Mellitus. I noticed an increase in thirst and urination; being a nurse that alerted me that he needed to see our veterinarian stat. We adjusted to life with special diets, glucose checks, insulin and periodic vet visits. Fast forward to August 2020, we rushed Luchini to the Emergency Vet because earlier that morning he was laying on the floor screaming in pain. The veterinarians said it was either a slipped spinal disc, an infection in his spine or tumors. Luchini was discharged after staying overnight, and was prescribed pain meds, muscle relaxers and antibiotics. Shortly after he had complete paralysis in both hind legs and lost all bowel and urinary function; we cared for him in that capacity for 2 weeks and he miraculously recovered. Last August we took him to have a routine Senior Wellness exam and our veterinarian palpated a tumor in his rectal area; we decided not to pursue any follow up with Oncology and said we would let him be to live out the rest of his days. Two weeks ago Luchini started showing disinterest in his food (he was eating home cooked meals), so we took him in to be examined and was prescribed an appetite stimulant and nausea medication. The medications helped, but his appetite still isn’t back to what it was just a few weeks ago. Recently we noticed Luchini was exhibiting signs of early senility and cognitive issues which our veterinarian confirmed. We promised that we wouldn’t let him suffer needlessly so as heartbreaking as it was we have scheduled him to be euthanized in our home next week. I originally chose a Friday appointment so we could have the whole week with him, but quickly changed it to a Thursday appointment as that was the earliest availability. I realized that just keeping him here another day was selfish, Luchini deserves better than that. This is the first time our family is dealing with letting a pet go so it’s been utterly devastating to say the least, and I was feeling a lot of guilt for booking the appointment, but I have been talking to Luchini each day and when I look in his eyes, I know without a doubt he’s ready. It’s the last gift of love that we can give to our sweet, lovable Luchini… we will miss him dearly, but we know that he will be free and that gives us comfort in knowing we’re making the right decision. ?
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Karen,
My heart goes out to you with the loss of your sweet boy. I know how hard it is to say goodbye even when you know it’s the right decision. Luchini was lucky to have you in his life. I am confident he knew how much he was loved. Thank you for sharing your story with us. I hope with time your heart will find peace and that Luchini’s memory will be a blessing. ♥
Lea Vawter says
Thank you for this article. I wish I would have read before but realize that all 10 suggestions did take place and have help reassure me I did the right thing. The only moment I did want was being in my own home with dog Willie. The Veterinarian that went on home visits was out on an emergency. and unavailable. I knew I did not want to put my sweet boy through another night of pain. I spent the entire next day with him and did cry for most of it. Just snuggled up to him. I have had dogs all my life but he was my first dog I had been responsible for and I rescued him from a horrible situation. After 7 years together our family grew. He remained a huge part of it. When I found out he had cancer a two weeks ago I was so sad and thought he would be around for a few more months. Willie would not take pain drops. I tried sneaking them in everything. Things just got worse. It was a tough situation. And the.n loss of muscle, no eating drinking water! Not even treats. The Veterinarian was amazing as I asked many questions and she took me through the process at the Veterinarian office. I held my sweet boy in my arms with his blanket beside us , kissed him and said goodbye. It was the hardest thing ever for me. I have an amazing support system, but can’t stop crying. I know it was the best thing for him. Time will heal and thankful for all the memories. Thank you for article! It gave me reassurance I did the right thing for my precious dog Willlie.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Lea,
My heart goes out to you while you are mourning the loss of your beloved Willie. I understand the grief you feel without him by your side. It does sound like you made the right decision and I have no doubt he knew how much he was loved. I hope with time your heart will be comforted that Willie is no longer in pain and has found peace and rest. May his memory be a blessing as you continue on life’s journey. ♥
Mtoy says
In two hours on this today, I will be freeing the almost 18 year old black lab, perhaps one of the last dogs alive that was rescued from a kennel during hurricane Katrina in 2005 out of New Orleans. I didn’t do the real rescue, my dearly departed friend, dot did after buddy had been seeking a forever home. Dot adopted him in 2008 from a rescue team that had never given up on buddy. In 2017 dotty died from pancreatic cancer at her home after a two year battle. Buddy was at her side every step of the way assisting me through the hospice care. He would never leave her side often laying next to her with his arm over her and alerting me at wee morning hours when dots was having a rough nite. Buddy was there all the way and dot entrusted him upon her death. It’s now my duty to free him from his pain so he can run back into the loving arms of my dear friend who is there over that bridge waiting for him. It is a devastating hard choice to time it correctly but it is cruel and selfish and disrespectful to the memory of my friend and her beloved companion to dare try to squeeze another moment out of buddy. Bud has had courage all his life to survive and ever be sweet. My friend dot always showed courage specially battling pancreatic cancer. As her friend and buddy’s companion I know it is my duty to step up and do what’s best for bud. It’s the sole reason my friend chose me and I promised her and buddy I would be there for him in the toughest of times. This is the toughest of times for me to let go of him for in losing him in my life it is like losing my best friend all over again. And yet I know I won’t lose him I am gaining a guardian angel…who is back reunited with devoted owner n now neither are in pain nor suffering. God forgive me for being selfish if I in anyway pushed past the time to release my dear sweet beautiful kind courageous bud. His dignity comes first n my friend is waiting for him on the otherside..n has been for five years. Goodnight sweet noble boy. I loved you with all my heart and always will. Buddy and dot are again together n will be for eternity as they should be.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear M toy,
My heart goes out to you during this difficult time. I am sorry for the loss of your good friend Dot and now Buddy as well. I know the decision to say goodbye was hard but made from a place of love. Your words are full of emotion, and it is clear how much Buddy meant to you. I pray you will hold on to all the good memories and let them be a blessing as you continue life’s journey. ♥
Bea says
My dog is about to turn 11. I have only had him 3 years and I hope that they were good ones. He already had issues with random aggression. Most of the time he is fine- however certain people make him crazy and he has bitten. He already bit a child, and tried to bite two other people. He also almost bit my 14 year old son. It has gotten to the point where I am on edge every time the doorbell rings or we go for a walk. He also has leukemia which is in remission. However it has been a battle. He was diagnosed a year ago and we beat it with prednisone and Clorambucil. He went off the pred and was just taking the Clorambucil 3 times a week when it came back. The pred was awful both times. Not only was he constantly having accidents he was extremely anxious constantly pacing and panting. We were able to get him off the Pred again and his cancer went into remission but now he has.a completely unrelated sarcoma on his back leg. The can remove it by amputating the toe it’s on but I just can’t justify it. I decided to instead have him euthanized before things get really bad. I feel like anything can go wrong at any minute and I want to prevent it. I also want to remember him the way he is now. I don’t want to put him down after he bites someone, or have him deal with the sarcoma getting bigger- especially because we have to keep it bandaged as he chewed it open. It’s a tough choice and I feel awful but also at peace. I worry about someone judging me for not trying harder but I also know that it doesn’t matter. I need to do this on my terms when I have the support and while he is still able to enjoy things. I l lw any minute something can go bad. We have an appointment for next week and I am spoiling him rotten until it’s time.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Hi Bea,
I am sorry you are in such a difficult situation with your senior boy. It sounds like he has been through a lot in the past 3 years but is very lucky to have had you in his life. I agree that you are making the right decision to let him go while he still has some happiness and dignity and isn’t suffering terribly. Also, I am always in agreement to say goodbye to a dog that is a bite risk and a danger to people. I hope you can make these last few days full of love and that his memory will be a blessing. ♥
Jackie Cruz says
My dog is 12 now. I have given him the best life… but I was in denial of his unpredictable behavior. He has bit me, but I never made a big deal of it. Now that I’m married and also have a baby coming on the way, my view is different. He bit my husband and he was just petting him nicely. I feel like if he bit me and now my husband… He wouldn’t do well around my daughter. This has caused a huge worry for me and my choice is to put him to sleep. What kind of dog mom would I be if I put him up for adoption and he bites the new owner and then my dog ends up just moving all over the place at that old age!
Julie Buzby DVM says
Hi Jackie,
I am so sorry you are facing this difficult decision. I know how hard it must be to consider euthanasia for your pup due to behavioral issues. With that being said, I completely agree with your assessment of this situation. If he was mine, I would be doing the exact same thing. No matter how much we love them, a dog that bites is a risk, especially with children. You are making the most loving and unselfish decision to give him peace and rest rather than try to tempt fate and find him another home. I know saying goodbye will leave you heartbroken, but I hope with time your heart will heal and be comforted knowing you gave your senior guy a long and happy life. Best wishes to you and your family. Congrats on the pending arrival of your new baby. ♥
David says
I am saying goodbye to my son Cotto today. He is an 8 year old boxer. I say today being that it’s past 12 a m. The vet is coming at 4 p.m. today. My baby has cancer. Mass cell tumor grade 2 to be specific. He has had 2 surgeries and it just keeps growing back. The tumor is on his shoulder!.It previously popped 1 day before his lap of love appointment so i canceled the appointment. Being that it previously popped; it had left him with a huge hole that got bigger and bigger from the whole tumor dying off and draining itself . As time passed the hole slowly started healing. As the hole was healing; the tumor was also growing back simultaneously. Being that the tumor was growing back and the hole had not fully healed; that is where the leaking comes into play. Now it’s a tiny hole that does not heal since all of the histamine from the tumor leaks out of it all day making is impossible to fully heal. When it previously popped he had gained relief from not having the pressure of the tumor on his neck. I wanted it to pop again but that is not going to happen being that there is the opening and the draining of the histamine prevents it from getting big enough that the tumor will drain itself completely as it did previously. It kills me to have to put him down. I say this because he is still mobile and still eats. He still barks and goes crazy when he sees other dogs and cats pass by through our living room window. The tumor does seem like it is inconvenient for him and even hurt him. He has another one growing under his neck. That one will eventually grow big enough to the point where it will be really bad. The tumor on his neck is the size of a coconut. It’s hard to put him down knowing that he is still alert, has a healthy appetite, and still loves chewing on bully sticks and treats. Idk if I’m making the right decision. The tumor does look really bad and it leaks blood and histamine all day. Part of me wants to go through with it tomorrow but another part of me is holding back. I do not want him to suffer. This is one of the hardest decisions I’ve ever had to make. 🙁
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear David,
I understand how difficult the decision can be to let go of a beloved dog. Cancer is such a tough battle, and it sounds like you made the right choice to give Cotto peace and rest and free him from suffering and pain. I hope his transition was smooth and peaceful. I am sure Cotto knew how much you loved him. I hope his memory will continue to be a blessing.
Claudia says
Tomorrow we will say goodbye to our wonderful boy, Cyrus, a Rottweiler mixed breed. He looks 90% Rottweiler except for a white chest and belly. Low on his chest where white fur meets black there is the shape of a white heart. Cyrus has been suffering for several months with undiagnosed bone cancer. Last week, after trying for many, many weeks we finally got a CT scan for him. The delays were due to Covid and unavailability of appointments. Cyrus is all tough guy on the outside and ask marshmallow inside, He is nearly 10 years old and until all of this started he was very healthy and one would not guess he was 10 as he had no aches or pains and was quite active.
3 years ago we lost our Akita/GS mix to bone cancer and 8 years ago we lost our yellow lab to a brain tumor. This we have been through the euthanasia process twice and know what to expect, but it makes this loss no easier.
Goodbye my sweet boy.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Claudia,
Cyrus sounds like he was a very special boy. I hope his last day was peaceful and full of love. It is truly amazing how much a beloved dog can impact our lives. I hope his memory will continue to be a blessing to you and your family. ♥
Lindsay says
Thank you for your article. I am struggling daily with the decision to put down our 15 year old Maltese/Yorkie. She is the love of our lives and being childless she truly is our baby. She is nearly deaf and blind.. She has dementia and it has gotten much worse in the past 3-4 months. She is anxious especially at night when she paces tirelessly for hours sometimes. Because she can’t see she often bumps into things or gets stuck in corners. She barks at things that aren’t there. She no longer wants to play or engage with us. However, she still eats well and some days I can still see my baby puppy in her eyes. I am struggling with this decision. It is a horrible place to be and seems like the weight of the world is on my shoulders. Any advice is much appreciated.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Hi Lindsay,
I know what a difficult decision you are facing. It is hard to watch a beloved dog struggle and feel like there isn’t anything you can do to help them. Since I haven’t examined your girl myself, I can’t make any specific recommendations. I do think it would be a good idea to talk to your vet and see if there are any medications that might help with the nighttime anxiety. I will attach some links to other articles that might help with your decision-making process and offer additional information. I hope you and your vet can figure out the best way to restore your sweet girl’s quality of life. And when the time does come that you have to say goodbye, I pray it will be peaceful and you will know you have made a loving decision. Best wishes.
1. Canine Cognitive Dysfunction in Dogs: Signs, Symptoms, Solutions
2. Signs Your Dog is Dying: A Caring Message to Bring You Peace
3. Dog Hospice Care Can Bring Peace and Dignity to Your Dog’s Final Days
Nina Ring says
My 14 1/2 year old Maltese Shihtzu was fine 2 months ago. The groomer accidentally nicked his eye and gave him corneal ulcers. I don’t know if he was depressed because he couldn’t see, but his overall health declined dramatically in a month. Now, he wont eat despite giving him meds to stimulate his appetite. The vet gave him an ultrasound and couldn’t find anything. He’s not interested in his favorite foods. My husband and I have to feed him from a syringe and he fights it. It’s devastating…. We don’t want him to suffer anymore. ?
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Nina,
I am sorry your little guy has been through so much in the past couple months. It does sounds like it might be time to let go and give him peace and rest. I hope you can make a decision that is best for you and him. I pray his last days are filled with love and that his memory will be a blessing to you and your husband. ♥
Holly says
Thank you for this. We are putting down my 16 year old pup tomorrow and I was completely clueless about what exactly happens during it, so I really appreciate the explanation. I also appreciate the reassurance that the vets don’t judge because I truly do not know how I will react afterwards, as he has been in my life since I was 4. I feel a lot more comfortable with our decision now.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Holly,
I am sorry you had to say goodbye to your senior guy yesterday. I am glad you found the article comforting and I hope the transition went smoothly. I pray with time your heart will heal in his absence. May his memory be a blessing.
Zee says
Thanks for posting this. I’ve been looking for resources as I have euthanasia on the horizon… My beloved 13 year old whippet, Watson has been fighting heart issues and now heart failure for many years now. It has been a blessing that we got to keep him this long thanks to the talents of one amazing veterinary cardiologist. But we are now reaching the end of his journey and we don’t know how much time he has left. Could be weeks or a few months. It’s devastating — even though I have been happy to get him to 12 and then 13 year old. I can’t imagine not having him around; it feels like I can barely remember life before him. I keep telling myself that he will live on in my mind and somewhere out there. That it’s just his body that can’t continue.
I feel guilty because I feel like I can be there for when he goes to sleep (sedated) but I can’t handle seeing him actually pass. The idea of him not feel him breathing or his heart beating… his sweet body moving peacefully. It makes me feel like a really selfish owner but emotionally it feels like more than I can handle — the reality of that. I don’t know how best to navigate it or if I should just tough it out. Perhaps I would feel better being there until he is factually gone. I have some rituals that I know I want for the end, for him and for me, but that last bit really just crushes my whole soul. Any thoughts?
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Zee,
Watson sounds like such a special guy and I understand how big of a decision this is for you. Ultimately, you should do what will give your heart peace. If seeing him in his last moments will leave you with a bad memory, maybe it would be best to say goodbye before and just stay through the sedation. Everyone is different and what gives one person closure may leave another person with haunting memories they would rather not have. Watson knows how much you love him and I feel like you would be fine no matter which decision you make. I am sorry you are nearing his final days. Give your sweet boy a hug for me. ♥
Leonardo Perez Jr says
After speaking and getting the medical information on my 14 year old dog,
I have made a decision to let the doctor to euthanize him. My poor furry old buddy has liver cancer, and I know this would alleviate the pain and suffering that he is going through. But, I feel GUILTY. I am an old 77 year old man who lives alone but for my furry buddy Harold. I am afraid of the guilt and the sorrow I feel because I have made this decision. But, I’ve got think about Harold, his quality of life—I don’t want him to suffer. I’ll bear the LOSS somehow. Reading your 10 ways to cope with the loss of a furry friend, might help me cope. I hope so.
Thank you,
Leo
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Leo,
I am sorry your senior guy has cancer. I know what a difficult decision this is for you. Even though we know we are making a loving choice to give them peace and rest, it does leave us heartbroken. Choosing to end their suffering and pain is the most selfless choice we can make for a beloved dog. I hope you can make Harold’s last days full love and affection. May his memory be a blessing to you. ♥
Here are links to other articles that may be of some help:
1. Dog Euthanasia: Knowing When to Say Goodbye
2. Grieving the Loss of a Dog After Euthanasia (& Finding Peace)
Teresa Smith says
We will be saying goodbye to Emerson on Friday afternoon. Today, he had a good grooming and hands that have loved him for years gently massaged and loved on him. Tomorrow, he and I will spend the day on the sofa wrapped up in our blankets, and although he can no longer hear me, I will tell him about the day I decided to adopt him and all the preparations I made to bring him home. Thursday, he and I are going to have our pictures made on last time by the river, and if I can get him to eat by Thursday I will buy him any junk food he wants. I hope to have all of his final arrangements readied in the next few days. I am having tremendous anxiety about leaving him in a freezer over the weekend, because we have never really been away from each other. After 16 years of tremendous love, I am in a panic to say goodbye to him.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Teresa,
I am glad you found some comfort in the experiences shared by other readers. I am so sorry you are having to say goodbye to Emerson tomorrow. It sounds like you made these last few days very special for you both. I hope the pictures went well today and that he was able to enjoy some treats. I will be thinking about you tomorrow and pray, that as you allow Emerson to find his final rest and peace, your heart will be comforted as well. 16 years is a long time to love a dog. May his memory be a blessing. ♥
Rachelle Richard says
I read and re-read every article on euthanasia on this site and it comforted me immensely to have the validation of others’ comments and Dr. Buzby’s words of guidance and compassion. I. found myself seeking ‘words from the front lines’ from people who had blazed the path I was obliged to. I found their stories and insights especially helpful. I’m posting today in hopes of sharing our journey and the specifics that helped to ease the pain and amplify the joy of my four-legged comrade’s final chapter.
Yesterday morning I said goodbye to Chazz; my furriest partner in crime, relocation and travel buddy and best friend. Chazz was known for his bright, intelligent and friendly lab eyes, love of fetch, water, walkers and wheelchairs stocked with cookies and a persistent dislike for his own kind (except Nelly). He was the only being I knew who loved snow storms almost more than bacon. Many have called Chazz a friend, housemate and playmate across continents and provinces.
Chazz was assisted to sleep incredibly peacefully at home with his favourite ball but not before his first experience with milk chocolate and all the hugs and kisses. A beautiful flat coated retriever, he would have turned 15 years old in a few short months.
Many friends sent notes of love or visited with cheeseburgers and hotcakes and hugs and ear scratches. His final few days were a joy for him and I’m grateful for his beautiful final transition to reunite with his friends who have passed before him.
I knew Chazz’s time with us was limited and yet until I made the emotional decision (partially supported by reading the entire internet about euthanasia) that lead to setting a date with our vet, I continued to reason that Chazz wasn’t ‘that bad’ and that making the decision too soon was an egregious decision I would have to live with forever.
Two learnings that REALLY helped me:
– ‘A month too early is better than a day too late’ –
This resonated so deeply for me and hit the nerve of logic for me that I needed to get me over the ‘hump’ of guilt. Ending my best friend’s life was too large a decision to make on it’s own but the emphasis on it being a compassionate proactive act to prevent future (or further) suffering made complete sense to me in service to my best friend. One of the commenters on this site posted ‘Letting our own hearts break in order to prevent our best friends from suffering, is the last act of love we give to them.’ and I thank them immensely for it and put into perspective what I was subconsciously avoiding in making the decision – my own heartbreak.
– Euthanasia is the most compassionate gift we can give to an animal that is suffering –
I hadn’t considered that this decision was in service to Chazz. I hadn’t considered that it was the penultimate gift of peace and end to suffering; suffering I hadn’t realized had continued mounting. Chazz had been dealing with arthritic pain for a few years and his confusion was mounting though it was all so gradual that I hadn’t recognized the net effect over the course of years. The reality of his medication regime three times per day, multiple pain medications and a sleep aid, were just a reality to me of his aging, not a cue that he was changing and his experience of this world was not what it used to be.
After a few evenings of pouring over the internet (this blog included) and crying my eyes out, I came to a realization that I may already be ‘a day too late’ in helping Chazz. I returned from a work trip having made an appointment to speak with the vet
Things I’m grateful for and wouldn’t do differently:
Chazz received chiropractic treatment every four weeks which helped his mobility and pain immensely. It also kept a professionals hands and eyes on his mobility and connected with his condition. His chiro was a bit of a ‘mirror’ for how he had changed since the last visit. It helped me to realize how much his health had deteriorated.
At-home transition: I cannot begin to express how grateful I am that Chazz passed in the comfort of his own bed, at home with his favourite humans. I started working with a mobile vet about 8 months ago so he had a history and relationship with Chazz for when the end came and I knew he would be able to come to us when the time came. I will never ever forget the feeling of my heart sinking when the doorbell buzzed and the time had come. I will also remember with an ironic fondness how completely peaceful Chazz looked as the sedatives kicked in. It was a moment of clarity where I knew I did the right thing in giving him the peace he had so dearly earned. He gave us so much and I was able to give him a dignified, pain-free transition into his next chapter.
Read the internet: By the time I called the vet I had read Dr. Buzby’s blog and literally every other scrap of information online about euthanasia. I knew that the sedative could have a swift effect and to make sure I had expressed what I needed to before it was administered. All animals are different but Chazz (at 60lbs) was drifting into a peaceful sleep within about 5 minutes. His eyes slowly drooped closed after the final dose of anaesthetic was given. I knew that he might evacuate his bladder and bowels after the injections so made sure he got everything out on a long walk right before the vet was scheduled to arrive; it was important to me that he had dignity in his final moments. I knew that he may breathe heavily as his body shut down (agonal breathing) and not to worry about his muscles twitching. I read about the different ways people memorialize their pets and made sure to think about what would be most meaningful to me in advance. I knew exactly how I wanted Chazz’s and our experience to look but was open to some deviations. I communicated this in advance to the vet. We had music playing, the humans present for Chazz knew what we each were hoping for from the experience and communicated it in advance. This also prompted purposeful reflection for us – the emotional nature of this journey is heart wrenching and blinding. I’m ultimately grateful that we had an abundance of choice in Chazz’s journey and honour other humans and four-legged friends where choice and planning aren’t available.
I read about pet loss and the stages of grief. Do you read ‘Type-A’ in this posting? Of course you do. I like to be prepared and I LOVE to understand the ‘why’ behind the ‘what’. I wanted to be able to identify, name and honour my emotions and actions leading up to and following Chazz’s passing. I knew I was understating to myself (clinical term: denial) how much of an impact Chazz’s death would have on me and wanted to understand the logical side of all the emotion. It has and continues to help immensely. Other than online blogs, I borrowed these from the library and they provided a lot of insight and comfort.
‘Finding Meaning’ by David Kessler
‘On Grief and Grieving’ by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross
‘Untethered Soul’ Michael A. Singer
‘When Your Pet Dies’ Alan D. Wolfelt
We made Chazz’s final few days about joy, not grief. He saw me cry plenty and his fur was often covered in my tears and snot but he didn’t seem to mind. His eyes were knowing and yet, didn’t look concerned or sad anymore. Outside of that, I made a bucket list and shared it with those that really cherished Chazz. I was privileged to be able to take three days off work to devote to all the fun with Chazz that he could tolerate. We went for a hike in the forest, found all the sticks and sniffed all the things. Friends came over with mcDonald’s hot cakes and Five Guys bacon cheeseburgers and I swear Chazz looked like he was in heaven.
Things I would do differently next time:
One of my biggest regrets – not trying Toe Grips – they would have surely been a game changer for Chazz for at least 2-3 years as his hatred for smooth floors only amplified in the past few years. It was easily the most painful stressors for both of us and actually resulted in an injury.
Be more reflective of Chazz’s health journey – I kept notes when he had episodes of illness and of his overall changes in medication and pain but I didn’t see the forest through he trees. I was waiting on a ‘sentinel’ event to know it was ‘time’. So many other dog owners would say ‘you’ll know when it’s time, he’ll tell you’ and it took me a while to decide I hated that sentiment. I hated the thought that my own emotional perspective on what reality is for my beloved animal would potentially cloud my judgement on what this non-verbal sentient being was ‘communicating’ with me. I hated the ambiguity of it, the judgement and shame of it. I hated the idea of relying on my logical interpretation of my loved one’s pain in a time that is hyper emotional; it didn’t track as realistic or in service to my four-legged love. I decided I wouldn’t prescribe to it and it shifted my outlook of feeling shame that I was making the decision ‘too early’, that he ‘hadn’t told me it was time’ yet. I perceived (whether real or not) that once I had resigned to making the appointment, that Chazz actually appeared more ‘sad’ to me than before. Perhaps in educating myself, I had done away with the rose coloured lens tinting my perception of Chazz’s experience. The day after I decided to make the appointment, Chazz had a terrible evening or panting, unable to settle and lie down for over four hours. It was heart wrenching and re-inforcing of ‘a minute too late’ being well within the realm of reality for Chazz and it fuelled my resolve to give him peace, comfort and a loving, compassionate end.
So much gratitude to Treatwell Mobile Veterinary practice in Ottawa, Canada, to Dr. Buzby’s blog that I wish I found four years ago and all the friends that contributed to Chazz’s journey throughout the years and in the final days. What I believe more now than ever is that we don’t deserve animals. They give us so much and expect so little from us in return. If you’re still reading, you’re just as invested in trying to do your best by your best friend. Whatever decision you make will be the right one. I hope your journeys with your beloved animal companions are as fulfilling and joyous as your love for them and the impact their short presence in our lifetimes allows.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Rachelle,
Thank you for sharing Chazz’s journey with us. This is beautifully written, and I can tangibly feel your love for him pour from your words. I am glad you were able to give him so much joy in his last days and really make the most of them. I too was touched by the quote you shared from another reader’s comment: “Letting our own hearts break in order to prevent our best friends from suffering, is the last act of love we give to them.” I hope your advice will be a beacon of light for other readers. May Chazz’s memory continue to be a blessing!
Teresa Smith says
As I approach Emerson’s final journey, your words have comforted me so much. Thank you does not seem adequate.
Melinda Krejci says
Dear Rachelle, Thank you for your amazing account of your final journey with Chazz! Your words probably helped me more than any other article or advice. You voiced exactly what I’m going through with my 13 1/2 year old Border Collie, Bella. She’s on her second bout with cancer, has the beginnings of congestive heart failure, arthritis in her back, and I think she just had a vestibular stroke two days ago. I have to help her walk, stand, go outside to potty, and am now hand feeding her and bringing her water to her. She’s stopped wagging her tail, stopped giving me kisses, and stopped vocalizing as of today. I think she’s telling me it’s time. But like I said, your post is making this final display of love easier. Thank you.
Mindy Krejci (Bella’s Mom)
Julie Buzby DVM says
Hi Mindy,
My heart goes out to you as you spend these last few days with Bella. I pray that when the time comes to say goodbye it will be peaceful and full of love. ♥
Ellen says
You have touched my core and every feeling and thought I am going through. Thank you for sharing Chazz and your journey. I am on the same path right now.
Bea says
Thank you! This is really comforting. This is my fourth time saying good bye to a furbaby and each time it’s so hard. I
Always feel so guilty about it. But I know that this is about them getting a peaceful transition to Rainbow Bridge.
Jennifer Scaffe says
Thank you for this. I’m having my almost 16 year old mini Aussie euthanized tomorrow. I know it’s best for her but I am heartbroken, my grief has been overwhelming today. Reading this hit on all the things I have been thinking about. Thank you for the reassurance.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Jannifer,
I am sorry you had to say goodbye to your senior girl today. It’s amazing how much of an impact a beloved dog can have on our lives. I hope the appointment went well and that the transition was smooth. I pray with time your heart will heal and you will find peace.
Maryann Cole says
Today will be old Brody’s transition day. I wish I would have thought of contacting another clinic which schedules the procedure at home visits. But, like many of you, the decision was not an easy one because of his ongoing up days and down days. Knowing that the three very serious episodes of pancreatitis in six months was taking its toll on a now 15.5 year old dog we made the decision last night and have an appointment late afternoon today with the vet office that has been caring for him. Brody has megE–another factor in our decision. So fortunately today is a good day for him. Oddly, I think he knows. He is given us both kisses, which he has not done in several years. We took him to his favorite park, which he has not been to in about three weeks due to his illness. He hunted more squirrels up the trees that ever before. He had had 45 minutes of sheer glory. We plan to do a little more this afternoon as the time approaches. Maybe visit favorite neighbors. The only concern is that he is very anxious in the vet clinic and has been there many times recently for subq fluids and GI shots. We were given an emergency dose of Trazodone in case we needed to transport him to an ER hospital 90 minutes away when our clinic is closed. He has not ever had any anxiety meds. But the vet today said it was okay to give him the dose today a couple of hours before his comes for the transition (set free to the Rainbow Bridge). I just wanted to thank Dr. Buzby, and all of you, that have posted recently as your words have helped me during this difficult time. My husband and I are trying to keep upbeat as much as possible and be grateful for all the fun times with Brody over the last 15 years.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Maryann,
I am so glad you were able to make Brody’s last day full of happiness and joy for him. I hope the transition was smooth and peaceful. I have no doubt he knew how much he was loved. May his memory continue to be a blessing to you and your family.
Maryann Cole says
Dr. Buzby,
Thank you for your reply to my comments. Brody’s transition was smooth and the vet staff exceedingly compassionate. Please know how sincere I am in saying that I have read your three related articles on the topic of euthanasia for your dog many, many times both before and after we let him “go on ahead.” . Your words and information have given me strength and most importantly assurance. I fully plan to share these helpful links to your blogs with as many people as possible and our vet clinic. Thank you again for posting this for all of us making important decisions for our beloved pet family members. I am grateful.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Maryann,
I really appreciate your kind words. This is exactly the reason behind why we share our knowledge and personal stories on these blog articles. Thank you for the feedback. ♥
Natalie Campbell says
This post is so incredibly helpful. Our 13-year-old Shih Tzu/Corgi mix has a heart tumor and there isn’t anything anyone can do to fix it. She’s acting normal but the vet says she doesn’t expect her to make it to Christmas. We are in the middle of contemplating how to handle this as her behavior has not really changed at all. If anyone has any advice, please let me know. Sending love and light to everyone else in the comments who has gone through this process.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Hi Natalie,
My heart goes out to you as you spend these last days with your sweet girl. I will add some links to other articles that may be helpful. My best recommendation is to reach out to a vet that specializes in hospice and palliative care. They can help you keep her comfortable and feeling her best so you can spend some quality time together. My thoughts are with you in these coming weeks.
1. Signs Your Dog is Dying: A Caring Message to Bring You Peace
2. Dog Hospice Care Can Bring Peace and Dignity to Your Dog’s Final Days
3. Dog Euthanasia: Knowing When to Say Goodbye
4. In-Home Dog Euthanasia: Heartfelt Answers to 12 FAQs
Mints says
I have euthanasia scheduled for 2 days from now. I’m second guessing my decision, even though my girl is 18 years old and has no quality of life now. Perhaps I could wait another week, another month, who knows- maybe 6 months. Though it breaks my heart,I know she’s tired and ready. Honestly, I feel so guilty because I know my life will be “easier” when she’s gone (she’s blind, deaf, senile, has trouble getting up, needs potty every 2 hours, is often trembling, lost most of her teeth, doesn’t play or have any joy) but when I look at her condition, it will be the best thing to do, before she declines even more.
It still hurts, and always will, She is my first and probably only dog. We’ve been together nearly 24/7 since I adopted her at age 3.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Mints,
I understand how hard this decision must be for you. I know you are doing the right thing and giving your sweet girl rest and peace. She knows how much you love her. Please don’t carry around any unnecessary guilt. This is the most loving act we can do for our dogs. I hope her memory will continue to be a blessing.
Christine A Roach says
Its a very hard decision but you as a pet parent need to make the best decision for your fur baby. Im taking mine in today and i have felt guilt, sadness, anger, all the above. But i can’t be selfish and think of how i feel. It sounds like it’s her time. Better to do it before she suffers. Take care.
Jeanie Morein says
Hi Mint,
I’m going through this too, except my dog is almost 15 years old….she has CHF, doesn’t hardly eat anymore, and still barks when I get home from work. She is also blind.
I’m torn between putting her down or letting her die natural, however , I don’t want to see her in agony….putting her down makes me feel as if I’m murdering her, and not putting her down makes me see how much more she will suffer…..I just cannot make a decision yet.
How did things go for you?
Thank you for any advice.
Jeanie
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Jeanie,
My heart breaks for you and your sweet senior girl. Trying to decide when to say goodbye is never easy but is also the most loving act we can do for our beloved dogs. I am going to attach some links to other articles that may be of some help. I also think it would be a good idea to contact a vet in your area that specializes in hospice and palliative care. They can examine your girl and let you know if they think she is suffering. I hope you can find the information you need to make a decision that is best for you and your dog. Best wishes.
1. Signs Your Dog is Dying: A Caring Message to Bring You Peace
2. Dog Hospice Care Can Bring Peace and Dignity to Your Dog’s Final Days
3. Dog Euthanasia: Knowing When to Say Goodbye
4. How Will You Know When It’s Time to Euthanize Your Dog? 5 Caring, Heartfelt Messages
Jenny says
This article and the responses from the readers have given me a lot of hope. We had to put my mom’s 12 year old Shih Tzu to sleep almost two weeks ago after being diagnosed with T-Cell lymphoma and an incorrectly diagnosed problem with her digestive system that was causing her not to eat, vomit, weakness in hind legs, and bloody stool. I struggle with feeling guilty… Even though there was a clear boundary that I couldn’t cross because it was my mom’s dog and my capacity of executive decision making was severely hampered by it (plus the fact that I live abroad). Makes me very angry that, had I known, I would’ve had her have the ultrasound that she needed all along to figure out what her real problem was. But, the boundary of “it´s not your dog and I make the decisions regarding her”.
Thank you for sharing your stories.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Jenny,
I am sorry you are dealing with this burden of the loss of your mom’s dog. Please don’t let all the “what ifs” run through your mind. You did what you could with the information you were given. I am glad that your mom’s sweet girl isn’t suffering and found some peace. I hope that her memory will continue to be a blessing to you and your family.
Dee Ann Marie Harney says
Thank you for this article. I sobbed as I read it. Our sweet dog, Abby, will be euthanized in the morning. She is almost 16. Very healthy and energetic until recently. Her back legs collapse frequently and she began having seizures. My girls were only 9 and 4 when we adopted Abby! It’s going to be heartbreaking to say goodbye ??.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Dee Ann Marie,
It sounds like you are making the right decision for Abby. 16 years is a long time to have the love of a dog, which makes saying goodbye that much more difficult. I hope you find comfort in knowing you were able to give your sweet girl final peace and rest. May her memory be a blessing.
Amanda says
Thank you for this article explaining how the process goes. We have a three year old St. Bernard/ golden mix named Charlotte. She was diagnosed with osteosarcoma at age 2. We did everything you could imagine, 3 different types of chemo, amputation of the infected leg, vitamins, her dad cooked her dinner every night for the past year. We were told tonight the cancer is now in her only back leg and lungs. We are so devastated to have to think about doing this so soon. She has been such a blessing for us. My cousin made light of it by saying perhaps she escaped heavens yard and she is being called home. I truly believe this because she’s been nothing short of heavenly. I’m thankful to you for helping me prepare the day ahead that we say goodbye to the best dog I’ve ever had. I wish we were given more years but I only want what’s best for her.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Amanda,
My heart aches for you and your family. Saying goodbye to a beloved dog is never easy, but especially when they leave us far too soon. I hope you find some comfort in knowing how selfless and love filled this decision is for Charlotte. Thank you for taking away her pain and helping her find peace. May her memory be a blessing to you and your family.
Jacqueline says
Thank you for this post, it was really helpful preparing for my sweet girl’s final day. My beloved GSD of over 8 years suddenly developed a terrible cough, the vet found her to have an irregular and fast heart beat and did an ECG. This showed atrial fibrillation and rapid heat beat over 200 bpm. We did xrays and an ultrasound the next day, confirming our worst fear – congestive heart failure. I took her to the emergency cardiac vet where she was admitted. They were able to slow her heart rate, gave diuretic to get rid of the fluid in her lungs and abdomen, and get her heart stabilized. Unfortunately, she refused to drink or eat for them and her kidneys began to fail. The cardiologist spoke with me in depth about options and the dire prognosis, my heart was breaking. I took my very sick girl home, hoping she would drink to help her kidneys. She did drink, but woke up coughing in the middle of the night… and all night she was coughing, panting, and all I could do was pet her and try to soothe her. I couldn’t bare to watch her suffer or put her through weekly vet visits, bloodwork, hear monitoring, and struggling to breath just so I could have more time. When she refused to eat her most favorite foods the next day, I knew it was her time. I was fortunate to be able to have an at home euthanasia, as my Bella got so very anxious at the vet office. I know I did the right thing for her, but I still feel immense guilt and my heart is absolutely broken. Should I have waited? I am sure I could have… but quality of life is most important and I know she would have been suffering. Saying goodbye to her was the absolute hardest thing I have ever done ❤
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Jacqueline,
I am sorry you had to say goodbye to your sweet Bella. You did everything you could and made the best decisions with the information you had. Quality of life is the most important thing for our senior dogs. I know the choice to let go is very difficult but it is the greatest choice we can make for the ones we love. Please don’t carry unnecessary guilt with you as you find a new way forward. Bella knew how much she was loved. I am glad she was able to be at home, in her comfortable place, for her last moments. May her memory be a blessing and bring you peace.
Hannah Lindoo says
I hardly ever comment on the internet, but I feel led to as we are saying goodbye to our little guy tomorrow. Milo was my childhood dream. I saved my own money for him because that was the only way my parents would allow me to get a dog. And now here we are, 14.5 years later. The poor guy lost his spleen to a mass over the summer and now has multiple masses throughout his body due to an agressive form of cancer. Everything about him has changed, besides his love for food. Our hearts are broken, but we are at peace knowing this is a gift to his body. And as believers, we believe we will see him in Heaven someday. We are so thankful to have the option to let him pass in the comfort of his home. I appreciate this article as it is straight forward about how to prepare, but written in such a soft and compassionate tone. Sending love to anyone here who is grieving. May you be reminded that your best friend is whole and at peace.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Hannah,
These are such true and beautiful words. Thank you for making this difficult and loving decision for your sweet boy. I am glad his passing was peaceful and in the presence of his family. May his memories continue to be a blessing for years to come.
Stephanie says
Thank you for taking the time to write this article. I recently lost my 11 year old Olde English bulldog to a splenic tumor and decided euthanasia was the best option given her prognosis. I was looking for reassurance my decision was the right one, when I came across your article. Sadly, Maddie was my 2nd dog I lost to the same condition. Three years ago, I lost my 9 year old Boston Terrier, Dexter, to a splenic tumor that ruptured. Dexter was full of life and living it to his fullest when suddenly one afternoon he collapsed. I rushed him to the vet to find out he had a ruptured tumor on his spleen and was hemorrhaging to death. I had to decide at that very moment if I would have emergency surgery (which prognosis was very poor) or choose euthanasia. That afternoon I said goodbye to my sweet, good boy. As hard as it was, I stayed by his side, kissing his head, and telling how much I loved him and what a good boy he was. He slipped away so peacefully and I knew I made the right decision.
Flash toward 3 years later and I found myself in nearly the same situation. This time my Maddie girl collapsed. I knew it was something bad having been down this road before. This time I was better prepared. I had done my research previously and had all the information I needed to schedule an at home euthanasia. I took Maddie to the vets who performed diagnostic testing and found Maddie had a suspicious mass on her spleen and most likely suffered a minor bleed that had stopped. Although Maddie had recovered and was able to walk, it was only a matter of time before “the ticking time bomb” ruptured and it would be an emergency situation again. Again this time I was faced with a very poor prognosis. I consulted with a second vet and was given an even more dire prognosis than the first vet. I decided humane euthanasia was the best, most selfless thing I could do.
I scheduled Maddie’s appointment for the end of the week, made all cremation arrangements and put my payment information on file. I decided after that phone call, there would be no more tears. Every hour Maddie had left with me would be filled with love, smiles, and happy memories. We took extra walks every day, lounged together by the pool, had popcorn movie night, I slept on the floor right beside my girl every night, we shared raspberry sherbet, coconut shrimp, and every yummy snack Maddie could get her paws on. Maddie had spent her entire life on a low calorie diet due to acute pancreatitis. Now she was getting samples of anything she wanted. She didn’t even get shushed away for licking plates white I loaded the dishwasher. She gave me a million kisses and I took tons of pictures of her enjoying her BEST week ever. Her last day on earth was spent taking a ride with the windows down to her favorite park to take one last walk. She felt all the feels and smelled all the smells. Her heart was so happy. Afterwards, she enjoyed her most forbidden lunch- a Cheeseburger, her own order of French fries, and she had a milk shake for the first time in her life. It was a good day.
The mobile vets arrived at my house. I signed the paperwork and the process began. As I promised Maddie all the time, I would always love her and be there for her to the very end. We sat together in HER spot on the couch. Things didn’t go as smoothly or quickly as I expected. Maddie was a nearly 80 pounds, strong willed bulldog. She didn’t go down for a good 10-15 minutes after given the initial sedative. You could see the effects beginning to set in but she just sat bolt up, smelling the air nonstop. That was unexpected and painful to watch as I worried she was scared. The vet kept saying “she’s a really strong girl.”. Finally, she began to lay down. I put her head in my lap, hugging her, and telling her how much I loved her. The second injection was given and she was gone. The vet stepped out of the house to give me some privacy and time to say goodbye. I closed her eyes as best as I could and held onto her a little while longer. It was such a difficult experience, yet I am so grateful I was able to give Maddie the most fun filled, loving good bye week possible. I will cherish those memories, pictures, and videos forever. My heart goes out to all those pet owners facing similar circumstances. Letting our own hearts break in order to prevent our best friends from suffering, is the last act of love we give to them.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Stephanie,
Your words are so powerful and filled with love. The last sentence of your comment brings tears to my eyes. Maddie and Dexter were the luckiest dogs in the world to have shared their lives with you. I am glad you will have such wonderful memories to think back on and cherish. Best wishes.
Jessica says
Tomorrow we say goodbye to our approximately 10 YO rescued minpin. He has been battling suspected IBD that’s progressed to potential intestinal lymphoma. After months of attempting various treatments, exercising patience through vomiting, incontinence and loss of appetite, our baby cannot go on. It’s been so hard, as he waxes and wanes through the good days and bad. This post and comments have served as therapy to our family tonight, as we apply tiny heat pads to our sweet, thin boys body. Ollie came to me from a rescue group and had a bleak future as an aggressive dog; for the ensuing 9 years he was fiercely loyal, mischievous, cuddly and funny …This decision was not easy and ultimately came down to understanding that good days were not ahead. I’m grateful we can offer his body to science so that students can learn and hopefully help identify symptoms earlier or more clearly. Poor Ollie has lost nearly 50% of his body weight in just 4 mos and endured a 30-day prednisone trial trying to fight through his condition. Through the palliative stage he has fought and pretended to be firing on all cylinders – true to his character and spirit. Thank you everyone for sharing and wish us peace as we walk our darling baby to the rainbow bridge tomorrow. He leaves behind his black lab big little sister Maya who is ready to go on duty for therapy but will sorely miss him. Xo.
Julie Buzby, DVM says
Dear Jessica,
Thank you too for sharing here to help others as well. It sounds like you know it’s time, and from what you have stated I certainly agree. This is never easy, and of course we will be thinking of you. Your dog is so very lucky to have been rescued by you, and have had the most wonderful life I can imagine. May his memories be a blessing.
Esmond Neal says
Today I prepare to allow my 8 year old, blue Shar Pei, Roscoe transition. He was born blind but I so trainable and smart. He has always loved kids first before anyone. Yesterday was Halloween and he wanted to see the trick or treaters so bad but didn’t have the strength. Wish me strength and hopefully you rest easy lil guy.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Esmond,
Roscoe sounds like he was such a special dog. Even though they leave an empty space in our lives, we carry them in our hearts forever. I hope everything went smoothly with Roscoe’s transition. May his memory be a blessing.
Wendy Wang says
Thanks for this article. I found it incredibly helpful and informative. I had to euthanize my beloved 17 year old Shih Tzu in July 2021. She likely had a brain tumor and intestinal/pancreatic cancer. We didn’t want to put her through additional tests for an official diagnosis as she was in a lot of pain. During her euthanasia she started barking (about 3 barks). This was very upsetting for me and my husband to witness. She was sedated beforehand and based on your article she shouldn’t have barked. I asked the vet why she barked and the vet said that was her reaction to the “shock” to her system when the final injection was made. Does this sound right to you? I’m still struggling with this and replaying this over and over in my head. I want to know what happened. I want to make sure my fur baby’s barking wasn’t an indication of her feeling any pain or fear during the euthanasia process otherwise I wouldn’t be able to live with my decision! Perhaps her barking was due to the fact that she was old and very sick (which involved her brain)? Thanks for your help.
Julie Buzby, DVM says
Dear Wendy,
Thank you for reaching out to us and sharing her story. I’m so sorry to hear that you’ve been struggling. Dogs can sometimes be vocal as a reaction to the medication, but I don’t have a reason to believe this was associated with pain. The fact that she was already sedated was a good thing. As hard as this sounds, please try to let these memories go. You were with her until then end; she knew that. Please allow your 17 years of memories become a blessing.
Tom says
I found this article as my heart is heavy knowing what tomorrow (literally) brings. I got Charlie as a birthday present 12 years ago. While we’ve had several other dogs over our nearly 40 year marriage, Charlie was the first boy, and the first one that was “mine.”
Charlie has brought nothing but joy to our life and has helped me through many difficult times. However he began losing his eye sight a few years ago, losing it first in one eye only, but then several months ago he lost it in the second eye. I’ve worked so hard to try and help him adapt, with no luck, as I think his hearing lacks as well.
I finally accepted the fact last weekend that the quality of his life is horrible. He basically eats (though not much) sleeps and goes to the bathroom; that’s it.
We’ve made arrangements to let Charlie go tomorrow. I’ve spent last night and today giving him extra attention, crying and feeling a little guilty, though I know it’s the right thing. I keep hearing my Dad’s voice (who has been gone several years himself) when I called him many years ago, when faced with putting our first dog Roxanne down. Dad said,” it’s never easy son, but you’ll know when it’s time. Their quality of life is important, you’ll just know.”
I know it’s the right thing, but it still hurts….
Julie Buzby, DVM says
Dear Tom,
Reading your comment has brought tears to my eyes. It’s never easy. Dogs bring us such joy and unconditional love; no one wants to say goodbye to their best friend. I’m sorry you are hurting, but your dad gave you solid advice. Make these last moments as special and comfortable as you can for Charlie. And when you can and are ready, let these last difficult memories go. You have 12 years of great memories which will be a blessing. You are in our thoughts during this difficult time. You are doing the right thing.
Sue says
I have an appointment tomorrow to have my 15 year old chocolate lab put to sleep. She is not able to stand today at all and I know it’s time. My heart is being torn from my heart tonight. I wonder if she knows this is her last night on earth, I wonder if she is sad that I have put it off. I have been selfish in keeping her with me, I know that. My pain is palpable.
Julie Buzby, DVM says
Dear Sue,
I am so sorry to hear you are going through this. I don’t think dogs think like we do; they live in the moment. I think she had a wonderful life and will be thinking about your care and comfort as she comfortably passes. If only all animals could be so lucky as to have someone love them so much. Try to remember that you will be giving her her final gift. Bless you.
Shay says
Thank you for this article, It really helped with one of the most difficult decisions I have ever made. Our family said goodbye to our sweet 15-year-old pup yesterday. Veterinary care of the last two years has been amazing as he had congestive heart failure and with medication he had an extended lease on life. This article helped us come to the decision to end his discomfort as well help our family do all of the things to make his last day a happy one and give us our goodbyes. And now I am reading it again and again to help with my guilt and grief and give me strength to hug and comfort my children as they go through their own. Thank you.
Dr. Julie Buzby says
Hi Shay,
So sorry to hear of the loss of your sweet pup. I’m so glad that you were able to have two more years together after his congestive heart failure diagnosis. It sounds like you guys had a chance to treasure those last few days with him and say your goodbyes, which is great. I’m glad that the article has helped you through these difficult days and I hope the good memories you shared with him will give you some joy and comfort and you grieve. I do also have another article on loss which you might find helpful. It is: Grieving the Loss of a Dog After Euthanasia (& Finding Peace). You are in our thoughts.❤
Danielle Deacon says
Thank for you this article, I cried the entire way through it. Our 13 year old chocolate lab was diagnosed with a splenic tumor just last week. While I am very happy to have found it during an x-ray instead of finding out during a burst and emergency situation, it doesn’t make it easier. He was my grandpa’s dog before he passed away and I took him under my wing. He is a piece of him that I thought was gone, which makes the pain worse. We are currently battling with whether we should euthanize now (or in the next week) or if we should wait until he starts to show signs of lowering quality of life. His abdomen is very distended and he seems to be slightly uncomfortable, bit otherwise he’s the same old, happy dog. Reading this helped me to understand that if we do it early, we’re just doing what we think is best for him. Letting go of the guilt is very difficult. Thank you again for the read, I feel one step ahead in this long journey.
Dr. Julie Buzby says
Dear Danielle,
That is very sweet that he was your grandfather’s dog. I can only imagine how much he is loved. It is always difficult when you find out unexpected bad news about a beloved dog, and deciding what to do with that information is never easy. Have you also read our article, Splenic Masses in Dogs: Types, Diagnosis, Treatment, and Prognosis? If you haven’t, it may be able to give you a some more information and hopefully a bit of peace as well.
Picking the right time for euthanasia is always difficult, and very much an individual decision. My article Signs Your Dog is Dying: A Caring Message to Bring You Peace has a quality of life scale near the end of the article. Some dog parents find this sort of tool helpful, so you may want to take a look at it. You can also consider having a quality of life discussion with your veterinarian, or a hospice/in-home euthanasia veterinarian. They may also be able to give you some guidance that can help a bit in making this very difficult decision.
I hope that you are able to treasure your days together—however long that might be—and have a beautiful and peaceful goodbye with this precious soul.❤
Tommy says
I am so overwhelmed by the loss of my 12 year old beagle Mieka 2 nights ago. She had stopped eating for a few days and when taken to the vet they discovered a mass on both her spleen and liver. She was also anemic and it was discovered the anemia was caused by her spleen bleeding. I took her to a different hospital for further testing. The doctor called and said the prognosis is very bad. She was bleeding internally, her blood clotting/reforming was very low and they also did a chest x ray that did not look good and worried the doctor. She recommended euthanasia…..saying I could take her home for one last night but she feared the bleeding could go into her brain and she would start having seizures. The last thing I wanted was for my Mieka to suffer…..her breathing was already labored from whatever awful thing was taking place inside her. I made the decision to be with her at the hospital and have her be euthanized that night. I’m absolutely devastated and still wondering if I made the right decision. She was so happy to see me when I arrived at the hospital and I could tell she wanted to go home. Maybe I could have extended her life….maybe she would have had a miraculous recovery. She didn’t deserve to go out like this and I feel so horrible about it.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Tommy,
I am sorry for your loss of Mieka and that things progressed so quickly. Saying goodbye to a beloved dog is never easy, but even harder when we don’t have much time to prepare for the loss. Please know that you made the right decision. Your choice helped take away her pain and suffering and gave her peace. Try not to carry this burden with you as you find a way forward. Your sweet girl knew how much you loved her. May her memory be a blessing.
Martyna says
I’ve had to put all 4 of my animals to sleep in the last 3 years., 2 cats in 2019, 1 dog last year and my last dog 10 days ago. I got them all with my husband and unfortunately had to do this by myself as he passed away suddenly 9 years ago. My vets office is amazing, the first three they came to my home and I was at peace knowing they were in a comfortable environment. My last dog, and I’d say she was my heart dog, didn’t recover from dysphoria post emergency surgery and they think it was a blood clot in her brain so I couldn’t bring her home to euthanize. I just wanted to share my story and say I miss my pets.
Dr. Julie Buzby says
Dear Martyna,
So sorry to hear of all of your loss over the past 3 years. That would be tremendously difficult for anyone, but probably made even more difficult by the fact that you got them with your husband who has since passed away. My heart goes out to you. It is a silver lining that you have an amazing veterinarian’s office that helps make these situations as comfortable as possible. I am with you and understand missing your pets. They are such a huge part of our lives, and leave such a mark on our hearts. But I believe we are so much better off for having had them in our lives, even with the loss we feel. I hope you find this to be true as well. Thanks for sharing their stories with us so we can remember them with you.
Daisy salazar says
Hello my name is Daisy Salazar my mom has a small pamaranian, she’s a senior dog. She is very ill has a lot of chronic conditions. She can’t walk much on her own anymore ,and if she does she falls back down. I see her suffering a Lot, but I know my mom is not ready to let her go. I can’t either but I have accepted the fact that she should not be suffering anymore . I have brought up the subject to my mom about putting her to sleep, I’m just concerned my mom and her are really attached. Can you give me any tips or suggestions? Please.
Dr. Julie Buzby says
Hi Daisy,
So sorry to hear that your pup is struggling to walk and has a lot of chronic issues. It can be very difficult to make that decision to say goodbye. Perhaps it would be helpful for you and your mom to have a discussion with your veterinarian about your mom’s dog’s quality of life. Sometimes having an outside observer walk through the quality of life measures can help bring some clarity to the situation. You could also consider using a quality of life scale such as the one found near the end of my article Signs Your Dog is Dying: A Caring Message to Bring You Peace. There are also veterinarians who focus on hospice care for dogs and in-home euthanasia, which are good options for some families. Thinking about you and your mom during this difficult time. ❤
Here are a few other articles that you might find helpful:
Dog Hospice Care Can Bring Peace and Dignity to Your Dog’s Final Days
In-Home Dog Euthanasia: Heartfelt Answers to 12 FAQs
Dog Euthanasia: Knowing When to Say Goodbye
How Will You Know When It’s Time to Euthanize Your Dog? 5 Caring, Heartfelt Messages
Grieving the Loss of a Dog After Euthanasia (& Finding Peace)
Evelyn Morales says
Hi thanks for the kind steps to euthanasia, my dog Jada has congestive heart failure and I need to put her to sleep and had an appointment which I canceled because she’s acting normal all of a sudden, is that expected? Do dogs sense euthanasia? She’s not really eating much and her cough from her collapsed trachea is a little better, I don’t know what to do because I’m confused but figured I would extend it for one week thank you for listening
Dr. Julie Buzby says
Dear Evelyn,
Sorry to hear that Jada has been struggling with congestive heart failure and you think it might be time to consider saying goodbye to her. While I’m not sure if she can sense that you had euthanasia scheduled, she may be able to sense your worry and your care for her. Often dogs do tend to have some “good days” and some “bad days,” so she may have been having a “good day” that day. I am glad to hear Jada was acting more normal, which gave you bonus time together. It may be helpful to read my blog Dog Euthanasia: Knowing When to Say Goodbye. Your veterinarian can also help talk through some of the markers of quality of life and how to know when it is time. I understand what a difficult decision this can be and I hope you are able to find peace with whatever the timing ends up being.
kristy lee says
Thank you Dr. Buzby and readers. Tomorrow morning I will be losing a piece of my heart. My giant boy English Mastiff Zdayno’s hind legs are getting worse each day and I see the sadness in his eyes. As much as I want to be his hind legs and continue to help him walk, I know he deserves better. I told him to let me know when he was ready and now I have to listen. I’m just so sad to think of life without him. Reading your blog and comments has given me strength in knowing I’m not alone as I prepare for the hardest day I’ve had yet. Thank you.
Dr. Julie Buzby says
Hi Kristy,
I’m so sorry for the impending loss of your sweet giant boy Zdayno. Saying goodbye is so difficult, even when you know it is the most loving choice you can make. Thank you for listening to him and being willing to let him say when he is ready. I hope that you are able to treasure the remaining time you have with Zdayno and have a sweet goodbye tomorrow. My heart goes out to you as you grieve this loss. ❤
kristy viviano says
Dr Buzby,
You are so incredibly kind to respond to people and give them peace. I read your words over and over as I prepared to let Zdayno go. If and when I find another buddy I will be using all your products. Your kindness touched my life and I’m forever grateful. Thank you.
Dr. Julie Buzby says
Kristy,
Thank you for your sweet words. Being able to encourage and support dog parents is very important to our company. I am so glad we were able to help you find some peace and comfort in the midst of your loss of Zdayno. ❤
Becky Barrett says
We have made the dreaded decision to assist our beautiful best friend, sister, and cherished family member Edie in crossing the Rainbow Bridge tomorrow. She is a sixteen-year-old longhair dachshund who has been a treasure to us since the day she came home to us at the age of twelve weeks. I haven’t ever known this kind of hurt outside of losing my dad, my brother, and my grandparents. Edie is the world’s best dog (sorry, I am prejudiced), and I fully intend to honor her memory by acts of kindness and mercy. When we feel ready, we will welcome another pup into our family.
If you feel so led, please lift us up as we face this difficult day. I would ask you to remember our boy dog Einie. He is also 16 and chose Edie for us. They’ve had such a tight bond and abiding live for each other for practically their whole lives that I’m truly worried about how this will affect him. We are so thankful for this site and for the compassionate advice from our expert, as well as the kindness and support shown by those posting here. Bless you all.
Dr. Julie Buzby says
Hi Becky,
So sorry for the loss of your sweet Edie. It is always so difficult to say goodbye to a beloved dog even when we know it is the right thing to do. I think that honoring her memory with acts of kindness and mercy is a wonderful thing to do and can be helpful in the healing process too. Lifting you, your family, and Einie up as you grieve the loss of Edie. ❤
Stephanie S says
I let my best friend, Pax (almost 11 year old lab) cross the rainbow bridge yesterday after a 4 month battle with OSA (proximal shoulder). He was at home, on our porch. I am feeling such guilt and sorrow and trying to understand. I hope he heard me as he was being sedated. He laid in my lap and I whispered in his ear and stroked his head and just cradled him. Thank you; I hope the senses comment is true. I hope he heard me as he left. Even after the fact, this article helped soothe me tremendously. Thank you.
Dr. Julie Buzby says
Hi Stephanie,
So sorry for your loss of Pax. I’m glad you were able to have a calm and beautiful goodbye on your porch with you talking to him and stroking his head. I have no doubt that he knew how much you loved him. ❤
Danielle says
Thank you so much for this article. Our 13-1/2 year old Golden Retriever/Poodle mix will be going to the rainbow bridge in two days. The vet found a very large mass on/around her spleen that is pressing on her lungs and intestines a few days ago and confirmed she is suffering so we are sadly setting her free of her pain. Your article is so important as I had no idea of what to expect. I am especially grateful that I now know to say goodbye and look into her eyes before the sedative is administered. Thank you again and bless you for your caring heart.
Dr. Julie Buzby says
Hi Danielle,
So sorry to hear about the impending loss of your sweet Golden/Poodle mix. Hopefully you were able to treasure these last few days together, take pictures, and make memories. Losing a beloved companion is always so difficult, but I am glad that you are feeling a bit more prepared with what to expect. Sending love as you face this difficult day and go through the grieving process. ❤
Kate says
I dont know how to stop thinking about this
I just let go of my dog two days ago she was 11 Years old I set a appointment on Sat 10am to euthanize her but out of nowhere around 4am Saturday the cancer spread so quickly I woke up from her crying and she lost her ability to walk so I quickly took her to the ER for euthanasia
It was so quick and fast I know they told me I can spend time with her I did it fast and I don’t remember at all if I even said bye to her or said good loving words to her or even hugged her bye, I don’t know if I even looked her in the eye
I’m in grief and pain it was fast and I can’t remember
Only thing I remember is I stroke her face
But when she passed they again told me I can spend time with her and I told them they can take her so fast and when the nurse carried her I wanted to ask if I can hold her before she take her and i didn’t and I didn’t say anything when I really wanted to hold her
I think my heart is torn I didn’t hold her one last time or paid any attention to her
I keep thinking about this everyday trying to remember and I saw this article before making the decision to euthanize her but didn’t get a chance to read it yet
I feel a lot of regret
Dr. Julie Buzby says
Hi Kate,
I’m so sorry for your loss and for all the guilt and heartache you are experiencing. We all want to be able to have a perfect and beautiful goodbye with our dogs where we say and do exactly what we planned, but sometimes circumstances prevent that from happening. This sounds like one of those cases. You acted in your dog’s best interest to help free her from her suffering, even though it meant you weren’t able to do things exactly the way you planned, and that was the right thing to do. You were there with her as she passed, stroking her face, and I know that she knew how much she was loved. It is easy for all of us to get hung up on how the last moments went sometimes and forget everything else that came before that. But even if you can’t remember what you did at the end, think about all the other times you held her, told her you loved her, hugged her, looked her in the eye, spent time with her, etc. Those beautiful moments are so important, and probably mean just as much if not more than how those last moments went. I hope that in time the regret and grief subside some and you are able to find some joy and peace in knowing that you and your pup had many wonderful. loving times together. So sorry again for your loss. ❤
Jim Masseron says
Hi Dr. Buzby:
Lots of good info and advice here and I thank you for that. My story is about Marley, who my daughter named after the movie “Marley and Me” in 2008, the year we rescued him as a pup. Marley is so much more than a dog and it will be painful to let him go. This is my 2nd “Rainbow Bridge” and I agree that planning and knowing what to expect is the key. Once you decide to humanely let your beloved pet go, the rest just falls into place.. Prayers and hugs to all going through this.
Dr. Julie Buzby says
Hi Jim,
So sorry for your impending loss of Marley. Losing a beloved companion is so difficult even when we know it is kindest thing we can do for them. Hugs to you and your family as you navigate this hard time. ❤
Karen Cooper-Durant says
My beloved Lanie turned 16 this month. What a blessing my girl has been. It’s time for her to transition and it hit me today when after telling my co worker of Lanie’s cognitive deterioration, anxiety, lack of mobility and just plain watching her struggle, basically my co worker said to let her go. I have no guilt, man she’s been a trooper. Lanie won’t suffer any more after next Tuesday. I’m just not prepared for a life without my best friend. I have memories to last me until the day I head outta here. Thank you Jesus, for putting Lanie in my and my husband’s lives.
Dr. Julie Buzby says
Hi Karen,
It sounds like Lanie has been a wonderful dog, and I am so glad that you have so many treasured memories with her. The loss of our beloved dogs can leave such a big hole in our hearts and our lives. Sending hugs as you prepare to say your goodbyes on Tuesday. ❤
Bea says
Thank you for this article, it has been very helpful and informative. We are having to prepare to say goodbye to two of our beloved puppers. Our Meaghan is a just turned 13 year old chihuahua and has severe arthritis that is making movement difficult/painful for her. She was diagnosed with T-cell lymphoma 4 years ago and were told even with treatment, we would be lucky to get 18 months more time. She became a little unicorn and went into and has stayed in remission for over 3 years. Every single day has been a blessing and it is so messed up that she beat an unbeatable cancer and we are losing her to arthritis. And our Kate Monster is a German Shepherd / Chow mix and will be 13 in a few days and was just diagnosed with hemangiosarcoma. Due to liver problems treatment isn’t a feasible option. We have never had to make the final decision before, as the 2 we have lost previously, went on their schedule, I know my girls will suffer if I don’t make this decision and I cannot allow that, I’m just not sure how to survive losing both of them. My dogs are my children and my life literally revolves around them. This is by far the hardest decision of my life.
Dr. Julie Buzby says
Hi Bea,
What a heartbreaking situation to have to face losing both of your beloved pups at the same time. I am so glad that you got all that extra time with Meaghan after her lymphoma diagnosis, but I also know that doesn’t make it any easier to face losing her now. It does sound like you are making the right choice for your girls based on what you wrote about them. For some families, in-home euthanasia can be a beautiful way to say that final goodbye (read more at In-Home Dog Euthanasia: Heartfelt Answers to 12 FAQs) while others prefer to say goodbye at the vet clinic. Neither option is right or wrong. You could also consider working with a hospice vet (Dog Hospice Care Can Bring Peace and Dignity to Your Dog’s Final Days) to learn about options for keeping you girls comfortable as you treasure that last bit of time together. My heart goes out to you as you face these difficult days. ❤
Wendy says
I am preparing to put my sweet girl, Chloe, to sleep tomorrow morning. She has TCC and I made this decision last week. It feel like I am constantly checking to see if she is still urinating and the worry of her continued suffering is constantly on my mind. I made all the arrangements and now I am crying, hoping this is the right decision…even though intellectually I know it is the right decision. I am so sad. We are going to miss her so much.
Dr. Julie Buzby says
Wendy, My heart breaks for you. It is so difficult to face the loss of a beloved pet. Even when our minds know it is the right decision, our hearts still find it incredibly painful. I hope that you are able to have a sweet goodbye with Chloe tomorrow. Sending love as you walk this difficult road. ❤
Tim says
As i sit hear, my heart aching, and tears streaming, as I will lose my buddy in 7 1/2 hours, it brings me peace knowing he will no longer suffer. He had a tumor removed from deep within his ear, and now it is back. His life has become less than satisfactory this past weekend, staring off, forgetting what he is doing. Not able to do things he would normally do. I am not sure if it has affected his brain, or if it is just at that point. What I am sure of, is it hurts SO much to let them go. The bond between dog and person if a powerful connection. It hurts as much as losing a sibling or parent. Bless every veterinarian and pet parent, who has helped their cherished pet peacefully pass from this world. Thank you for the information. It was needed, and has helped this guy grieve.
Dr. Julie Buzby says
Hi Tim,
So sorry to hear about the impending loss of your buddy. It is so very difficult to lose our beloved pets, even when we know we are making the right choice for them. I hope that you are able to have a beautiful goodbye today and can take comfort in all the wonderful memories you shared together. ❤
Becki says
We are preparing to euthanize our 13 1/2 year old Basset Hound. Lost our other Basset to hemangiosarcoma last fall. That was quick, diagnosed on Thursday and gone by Monday in his favorite spot in the house. This one is hard, she’s been with us her whole life, raised our kids, traveled the country, and never leaves my side. She survived swallowing a rubber ball, multiple lump removals, injured joints (cause you know bassets are front heavy ?) and has stolen multiple pizzas from the counter (stretch!!). But, I know it’s time, lost 10 lbs in the last 6 months, doesn’t regularly eat, back legs are really weak, struggles going up & down stairs, gait has changed, & reoccurring bladder infections that lead to incontinence. Thank you for this article, it is so helpful. Even through the heartache.
Dr. Julie Buzby says
Hi Becki,
It is always so difficult to face the loss of a beloved pet. From your post, it is clear that she has had a wonderful life of love (and mischief) as part of your family. Thanks for sharing a bit of her with us. Hold those memories close as you go through this process because they can help you to smile through the tears. I am glad that my article helped you navigate the upcoming loss of your sweet girl and I hope that her final days with you are beautiful and memorable. ❤
Marissa says
I’m preparing to euthanize my sweet 9yr old dog Ellie. She got very sick last and was diagnosed with kidney disease. After further investigation, it appears she also has mini tumors on most of her organs as well as an unkown fluid flooding her stomach. This was completely unexpected, as we frequent the vet and get regular blood work. I am devastated, but I feel it in my heart and soul that this is the right thing by her. I have tears flooding down my face reading this, because it became real and I can see the process in my minds eye. Getting cold feet but trying to be brave. Thank you for writing this ❤️ I’m sure it has helped so many already, myself included.
Dr. Julie Buzby says
Hi Marissa,
It would be so devastating to face the impending loss of Ellie, especially when she seemed healthy just a short time ago. Unfortunately sometimes despite all our best efforts, frequent exams, bloodwork, and careful observation, really bad diseases can still pop up out of nowhere. It does sound like you are making the right choice for her. That decision is so hard but you are absolutely right that sometimes it is the way we can do the right thing by our dogs. I hope that you are able to find inner strength and peace as you say goodbye, and that you can smile through the tears as you look back on all the wonderful memories you have together. ❤
K. Krause says
Thank you, Dr. Buzby, for this thoughtful and information packed post. I am faced with euthanizing a horse that I have competed on for ten years. In conditioning for my sport, I spend more hours alone riding on empty trails than I spend awake with my delightful dog or my husband. I know that this sentient being and I know and trust each other that it is the equivalent of love. While in my heart I know I have to make this next step, I am afraid and heartbroken and your article has explained so much of what to expect and why some reactions happen. This will help so much with my inevitable second guessing.
Dr. Julie Buzby says
Hello,
So sorry for the impending loss of your horse. I understand well how strong of a bond is forged through hours in the saddle training and competing. I am so glad that my article has helped you to think through the process and feel more confident about what will happen. I would also recommend talking the process through with your equine vet so that you know what to expect with a horse euthanasia because some of the specifics may be a bit different for horses. Loss is always difficult, but I hope you are able to treasure the hours you spend together and the memories you made. ❤
Rachael Tober says
My dog Napoleon 17 years was doing ok until he wasn’t. We made an appt for home hospice euthanasia however he wasn’t going to make it the two days without tremendous suffering.
I work as a critical care nurse and while I am perfectly adept at handling the end of life with my patients I was so deeply sad and still feel sad about having to take Napoleon out of the home to the vet I feel as though I failed him. He also experienced the dysphoria phenomenon and I panicked while holding him thinking he was feeling pain. The vet spoke to me quietly about what it meant and Napoleon slowly faded from life in my arms. This happened just yesterday. Thank you for your post because I have such tremendous guilt about not being able to keep him at home. And if he felt pain or fear. Thank you
Dr. Julie Buzby says
Hi Rachael,
So sorry for the loss of your dog Napoleon. It can be so difficult to lose a pet, especially when things don’t go quite the way you thought they would. I’m glad your vet was able to explain what was going on and that he wasn’t experiencing any fear or pain at that time. Please release yourself from any guilt you feel about not being able to have the euthanasia at home. Based on what you are saying, it sound like you 1000% made the right decision to do the euthanasia at the time that was right for him at the vet clinic rather than having him wait the two days to be able to do it at home. I hope that in the days to come you are able to find some joy and comfort in remembering all the wonderful memories you made together. ❤
Dawn says
I have to do it on a couple of hours. My 10 year old pit bull mix Sweet Pea has kidney failure. She has been in the hospital for days. We got to bring her home last night and then bring her back today. I don’t know if I can be there. I am a complete mess. My boyfriend will be there and I am trying to find the courage. I know I need to get over myself and do it. She needs me there.
Dr. Julie Buzby says
Hi Dawn,
It is so difficult to lose a beloved pet, and my heart goes out to you. I’m glad you were able to bring Sweet Pea home with you last night to spend some time together. I hope everything went as smoothly and sweetly as it could this morning. So sorry for your loss. ❤
Jacinta says
I stumbled on this post and grateful that I did. I k is that next week after today’s vet visit I’ll be saying goodbye to my Shay Shay. She’s 17 and a fighter. I can see that she’s tired and I finally realized today that it’s time to let her go. She lost her mobility and was told today her sight; that I hadn’t even realized. I’m going to heed your suggestion and take one of her favorite blankets.
Dr. Julie Buzby says
Jacinta,
It is always hard to prepare for the loss of a beloved pet who has been part of your life for so long. So sorry for your impending loss.I hope you are able to have a sweet goodbye with your Shay Shay and find comfort in remembering the memories you made together. ❤
Rob Venusti says
Hi Dr. Julie. Just came across this chat as I was searching for ways to cope. This is my last weekend with my buddy Charlie and it’s so devastating. Reading a lot of others comments has helped so thank you all. I know this has to be done for him and that helps a bit. When I think about it rationally with my head, I’m ok. But when something triggers my heart, the devastation is immediate. No slow buildup of sniffling or tears. Just all out balling. I know it will get better but its so hard.
Dr. Julie Buzby says
Hi Rob,
It is so difficult to face the loss of our beloved pets. I hope you are able to make some good memories during your last weekend with Charlie and I am so sorry that you are being faced with losing him soon. May you find joy amidst the tears as you think back over your time together and find comfort during these difficult days. ❤
mia says
I had such a difficult time giving up my first dog back in 2016. Now, the time is getting nearer and I am trying to prepare myself for this inescapable event. Mickey will be 15 in April. He has been on rimadyl for his arthritis in one leg; but we are starting adequon injections because they alleviate a lot of pain; he loves his walks, his food, his toys, a particular game of rolling a ball; and most of all, me. I do not know how much time I have left, but this article has helped. This time, I am reading up and learning alot of things ahead of time. The article reminds me of 2016 details. thank you for the gentle tips
Dr. Julie Buzby says
Hi Mia,
Mickey sounds like such a special dog and it is clear how much you love him. I’m sorry to hear about the loss of your first dog in 2016 and that you are having to start thinking about losing Mickey at some point too. It never gets any easier to walk through the loss of a beloved pet, but I agree with you that going into it knowing what to expect and how you want things to go can be so helpful. Sending love as you treasure the (hopefully many) remaining days with your sweet boy. ❤
Barbara Hanek says
On July 1st, my family had to make the difficult decision to euthanize our 7 year old boxer. It was the most heart wrenching decision we ever made….Lola was so young…but she wasn’t our Lola anymore. She had a severe neurological disorder (most likely a brain tumor which was causing her to have some of the worst seizures I have ever witnessed. These were not epileptic seizures. We showed the vet videos of Lola’s seizures and uncanny behavior, looking for comfort that we were making the right decision. She humbly agreed with our decision, but it sure didn’t make the process any easier. We have had numerous pets put down in the past, but Lola was different. She was so young, but it broke our hearts to witness her horrendous seizures. The vet did mention that brain tumors in boxers is quite common as are cancers. Our hearts are broken over the loss of Lola, the BEST boxer ever.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Barbara,
My heart goes out to you with the recent loss of Lola. I know that even though you made the right choice, and it came from a place of love, it doesn’t make it any less heartbreaking. I hope with time your heart will be comforted knowing you took her pain and suffering away and gave her peace and rest. May her memory be a blessing to you and your family.
John J Robert says
Dr. Buzby:
Thank you for this specific blog topic and your soothing words. Just yesterday morning, I had to let go of my almost 15 year old Golden Lab Riley and in doing so, set him free. His rear legs muscle structure had deteriorated over time and ongoing efforts to provide him with various support methods and treatment came to a recognizable end.
I am heartbroken and miss him so very much. He was everything to me and my primary focus. We had a great life together, he was almost human in so many ways & we spent so much time together that I expected him to start talking at any time. He is my everything. I can’t stop crying or thinking of him. The pit of my stomach aches as does my heart & mind.
Fortunately, I did all the 10 steps that you outlined in this blog which I read following the procedure. My veterinarian came to my home which made it so much better for all of us.
I will see you again Riley-boy but not yet, not yet.
I love you!
Julie Buzby, DVM says
I’m heartbroken for you, John, and so very sorry for your loss. Riley was obviously deeply loved and a devoted companion. I’m glad you were able to say goodbye in the peace and privacy of your home, but I know how much it hurts. Even though you know you did the right thing, it hurts so much to let go. Thinking of you in the upcoming days. ?
John J Robert says
Thank you for your support and comforting words.
Jesann Tidrick says
Thank you so much for this. My 9 year old Pittie was diagnosed with lymphoma a little over 3 months ago, given 1-3 months. I chose not to do chemo because it would be for me, not him. Its so hard watching him every day,some good and some not so good. It breaks my heart to lose him but I don’t want him to suffer. I just hope I can see when the not-so-good times become too much for him.
Thank you again for the information.
Julie Buzby, DVM says
You are so welcome, Jesann. I truly understand how hard it is to be in your shoes. We had a very similar experience with our dog and we also chose not to do chemo. Here’s Luke’s story: https://toegrips.com/saying-goodbye-dog/ I really am confident that it will be clear to you when you need to make those hard decisions. May God grant you wisdom and courage. ♥️
Alessandra says
Thank you for the helpful, compassionate and transparent information you shared on this blog. I am dreading that moment. Pedro is my darling 12.5 year old Goldendoodle and he has a cancerous mass on his front right shoulder. We’ve discussed its surgical removal with the vet who has expressed concern that if put under general anesthesia, he won’t come out of it since he had a bout of pneumonia last November. The mass is growing and starting to bother him (he licks it a lot) but he’s otherwise a hsppy boy, so I’m considering taking the risk of having him go through the surgery and say goodbye to him in case he doesn’t make it, but it’s hard to think that I might be making a rash decision and gambling with his precious life. They do give us the best days of our lives but also the worst day of our life. Thank you for “listening” and for the helpful information you share.
Julie Buzby, DVM says
Thank you for your kind words, Alessandra. I’m so sorry to hear that you are wrestling with this decision with Pedro. I would like to recommend another blog on anesthesia for senior dogs: https://toegrips.com/senior-dog-anesthesia/ I think you might find wisdom and comfort in all the comments. Bless you as you navigate this. ♥️
Sandy Donoho says
Our 14+ female border collie was euthanized yesterday. It was time, she was in pain and her ability to walk finally disappeared completely. Your toe grips helped her gain almost an additional year of mobility and our geriatric vet kept her going and pain free for a year and a half past the time we thought we’d have with her. Your post with the list of signs your dog is dying was also helpful as we realized she was experiencing most of them and it was time. . All of your posts were helpful, as was our previous experience, but it’s still never easy. We had to go to the vets office, but she always enjoyed going there, so that was not a problem. Your chocolate suggestion was inspired. She had waffles with maple syrup for lunch (her favorite), bacon, bits of peanut butter toast and a Dove milk chocolate bar while the sedative was administered. Our other dog was able to go with us, which was very helpful. He laid down on the floor cushion between her and my husband, put his paw over hers and held her as she passed. It was heartbreakingly beautiful. He stood next to her while we petted her body. I think he knows she’s gone. He’s sad but he’s not constantly searching for her like our other pets have when we’ve lost one in the past. We are still all three grieving for our Molly, but we are grateful for her smooth transition. Thank you for the advice.
Julie Buzby, DVM says
Dear Sandy, Thank you for your encouraging words and ToeGrips testimonial. They warm my heart. I’m so very sorry for your loss of Molly. It’s beautiful that you were able to script her goodbye so beautifully and include your other dog too. It sounds like a perfect day. May God comfort your hearts. ?
Deana Full says
We are here now, my 15 yr old min schnauzer has had some seizures, it is thought he has a mass of some sort on his brain. He also has chronic liver and kidney disease. He’s not rebounding after the seizures as we’d hoped. My 15 year old son is devastated at even the thought of losing him. Do you have any suggestions to help him? We’ve talked about the rainbow bridge and that Scrappy will
Be with his brother Shaggy, but he doesn’t care, he just wants his cuddle buddy. His cuddle buddy isn’t himself, and is very sick. I don’t feel it’s right to keep him alive for my/our comfort. It’s not fair to him to do that. How can I make this easier on my son?
Julie Buzby, DVM says
Hello Deana, I’m so terribly sorry about your situation with your dog and your son. My mama’s heart breaks for you all. From what you write, it sounds like it is clearly time to let sweet Scrappy go and end his suffering. Here are some resources for your son: http://csu-cvmbs.colostate.edu/vth/diagnostic-and-support/argus/Pages/involving-children.aspx I’m so sorry that you are facing so much heartache and have to be so brave for your son. Sending you much love. ?
Nancy House says
Your blog is helping me prepare for the day we say goodbye. I know time is short and I am finding it hard to let go. Mini is 18 and at this point does not appear to suffer any pain. She becomes anxious as she has lost most of her sight and unable to walk other than a few steps. I know her quality of life is not what it should be, but she finds comfort in laying in my lap. I try to keep her comfortable. I find it difficult to imagine being with her as she slips away. I would like to be with her for the sedation and hold her for the last time, but I don’t know if I can deal with seeing her take her last breath. At times I wish she would pass during her sleep and she would cross over the bridge without pain or fear.
Julie Buzby, DVM says
Hi Nancy, It is absolutely wonderful that Mini is 18 years old and natural that you’re having a hard time letting go. She’s been your companion for a huge chunk of your life, no doubt. I’m glad the blog was helpful for you and I want to refer you to part 1 in the series: https://toegrips.com/grieving-the-loss-of-dog-after-euthanasia/ It’s unlikely that she will pass peacefully on her own, though we all certainly do wish for that, but I hope this article will help you find peace in the details…understanding what to expect. My heart goes out to you as you prepare to give Mini her final gift. ♥️
Melyssa Antunes says
Thank you for this.. My dog, Loopy, a little Yorkie, would’ve turned 17 this November, I had him since I was 5 years old. Loopy has been with me through every stage of my life and has been the most wonderful dog.
The past couple of years we could tell that he has been sad, especially the last 6 months or so. He completely lost his hearing and eye sight, has 3 benign tumors, lives in diapers, has a small apetite, and his back legs completely gave out, meaning we have to help him walk, drink water, eat etc. A lot of times he cries and shivers when we’re not around, because he can’t do much but lay there when on his own.
For a while, we’ve known that he is suffering which breaks our hearts to pieces, but we have been trying to love and care for him as much as possible. Thankfully, we know that this is right thing to do so there’s not much guilt in letting him go, thus there is guilt in trying to keep him around to avoid our own suffering, which we know is selfish. I have never dealt with death or terrible hardships so this will take a huge toll on me emotionally, especially cuz I personally have an incredibly hard time letting go of stuff.
(For your reply) I wanted your help in what to do in preparation to this physically and emotionally and also wanted your opinion on if doing a burial service would be better in terms of dealing with his death and “letting him go”. Also, should I gather all of his pictures and videos now or after?
Our family is hurting tremendously and we plan to do this within the next couple of weeks or a month or so..
We have been avoiding the subject at home but is it better to talk about it so that we are more prepared? And I don’t know if going to the vet for this is better or if he will prefer if the consultation is at home.
I apologize for the long comment and questions, but any help would be greatly appreciated, and my heart goes to all of the ones in the comments who are dealing with the loss of their pet as well.
Thank you ❤️
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Melyssa,
I am sorry your sweet Loopy is nearing the end of his life. It definitely sounds like euthanasia is a good choice and the most loving option at this point. I understand your heartache and pray that you will be comforted by all the good memories. A burial service can be a good idea, but it really just depends on what your individual preferences are. Some people like cremation so they will have the urn as a keepsake. Most companies that offer pet cremation can add pawprints, pictures, or other sentimental things to the urn to make them really beautiful and special. Home burial can be very good for closure as well. There are really pretty stone markers or other items that can be used to display the site where your beloved dog was laid to rest. I feel like it is easier to gather pictures now and have them in a place that is easy to access but not in plain sight. That way if you are too emotional to look at the pictures you don’t have to see them, but should they be comforting, you can get them quickly. It is much better to talk about everything now rather than waiting till the last minute. Go ahead and pick a day and stick with it. That way you can focus on making these last days the best and really spoil Loopy and lavish him with love and attention. I always prefer in home euthanasia so you can all be where you are most comfortable, but if that is not an option, in the clinic can be a good experience as well. I hope when the time comes that everything is peaceful and smooth. Praying for comfort for your heart.
Allyse Degenhardt says
Thank you for this. I have two senior dogs, one I’ve raised since a pup and the other only a few years, but they are my family. I have never had to say goodbye to a pet before, and I know that day is coming, which terrifies and saddens me. I try not to think about it and enjoy all the time we have left, but this has helped me to mentally prepare for what types of decisions and actions await.
Julie Buzby, DVM says
I hope it’s a long way off your you, Allyse. Thank you for your comments. ♥️
Dan Kapner says
This is a difficult subject that you’ve addressed head-on with compassion, honesty, and important information. Thank you for this post.
Julie Buzby, DVM says
Thank you so much, Dan. I write these posts with some degree of fear and trembling because I know in my heart what I want to share but it’s a heartrending subject. Your comments are very encouraging to me. Thank you and bless you.
Drae says
*trigger warning*
We had a happy little family of two dogs and two cats. A few years ago we had to say goodbye to one of our cats. His euthanasia was horrific. There were two injections, after the first one he started having seizures and fell off the vet’s table. The vet came back in and administered the second injection. Cash’s eyes were wide and staring at me as I sobbed and held him still. I hold SO much trauma and guilt from that day.
Both dogs (shep X’s) are 14 now and are fortunately healthy and vibrant for the most part. I am absolutely terrified for the day to come where I need to make a decision for one of them. I truly don’t know how I will do it.
Julie Buzby, DVM says
Dear Drae, I’m so saddened to hear your story. I’ve never heard of anything like that and I’m sure the vet felt terribly too! If I were you, I think I’d seek counseling to help me work through that traumatic loss. I’m so terribly sorry. I’m glad your senior pups are thriving at the moment. ♥️ All the best to you and your dogs.
Drae Baker says
Thank you for your reply, Dr. Buzby. I think you’re right, it was a heavy trauma and I should seek help in working through it. Thank you for your compassion.
Julie Buzby, DVM says
May God bless and comfort your heart, Drae ♥️
Emily MARTIN says
This is so helpful. Thank you for writing it. Having been through these experiences with our pets over the years, I can attest to feeling ill prepared, disoriented, and guilty for not making the event the best it could be. I will be keeping these words in mind for the future!
Julie Buzby, DVM says
Thank you for your kind words, Emily. Blessings to you and your family.
Monica S. says
Thank you Dr. Buzby for this article. I’ll be saying goodbye to my 13-year-old beagle, Marley, on Monday and I’m gutted. He’s been living with an aggressive bladder cancer (TCC) since 2020 and thankfully has responded well to palliative treatment. In January of this year his oncologist said he suspected he had Lymphoma and gave him 6 weeks, which again he thankfully surpassed. Now he has a tumor on top of his paw that has opened up and is now infected. I met with his regular vet and we decided to forgo surgery given his age, cancers, etc. I’m having a hard time accepting that an infection is determining his fate before the cancer but I know that’s life. He’s still eating and drinking like normal but slowly declining everywhere else. The vet said we should intervene before sepsis takes over so I had to choose a date. June 13th because he is 13 and I’ve had him for 13 years. I am heartbroken and feel lost. It’s one thing to say goodbye to your best friend but to be the one deciding the day has been tormenting me. I hope I find and feel peace in my decision someday. It’s so hard to say goodbye. Thank you for giving us pet owners a place to vent and grieve. We truly can’t make these decisions alone. Sending love and light to all who are walking this path right now, <3
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Monica,
My heart goes out to you as you spend this last day with your beloved Marley. I know what a difficult and emotional decision this must have been for you. It sounds like you are making the most loving choice for your sweet boy and making sure he doesn’t have to suffer needlessly. What a blessing to have shared 13 years together. ♥ I hope that tomorrow everything goes smoothly and is peaceful. Praying for comfort for your heart. May Marley’s memory be a blessing as you continue life’s journey.
Ali says
I could really hear words of advice. Our boy (schnauzer) is 14 years old and suffers from Cushings disease.
He now struggles to get up and enjoy his walks, has to be lifted up to bed and whimpers with pain sometimes. I am constantly trying to feed him medicine for the disease and pain relief.
We have our vet arranged for a home goodbye this weekend coming but I feel so guilty that I’m giving up on him too soon and letting him down, he is still so happy in his bed and rolls around making his cute content noises but I think it’s because the pressure is of his joints and bones. His spirit is still there but his body is failing him and I’m scared that due to his bulk due to the disease and his weak legs and joints that he will suffer a major break or joint dislocation.
He has been my best friend and helped me through so many hard times, and always by my side with unconditional love……..the guilt on making this decision is breaking my heart 😞
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Ali,
I can hear the heartbreak and emotion in your words as you talk about your Schnauzer. It is never an easy choice to say goodbye to a beloved pup. From what you are describing, you are making a loving decision to free your dog from pain and suffering and give him peace and rest. I am glad you have a home goodbye scheduled and will be able to stay by his side during his last moments. What a blessing and comfort that will be for your sweet boy. Make the most of these next few days together. Spoil him and lavish him with love and affection. May his memory be a blessing that says with you forever.
Neo A. says
Hi Monica,
I’m sitting in my couch praying to God to give me the strenght for the decision I have to make for my beagle Luna. My little beagle has been my angel for the last 14.5 years. She started having seizures and her health went in decline. She barely eats or drinks water and it is so painful to see she is not doing ok. I got Luna when she was two months old. I remember picking her up and driving back home while holding her in my right hand. She was a tiny white ball with brown spots. There was a full moon that night and I remember holding her up and thinking how she looked like the moon,so I named her Luna. I know I have to do what is best for her, but I pray to God to taker home peacefully in her sleep.
Julie Buzby DVM says
Dear Neo,
My heart aches for you as your face this emotional decision for Luna. It sounds like she has been a big blessing in your life, and I can only imagine how hard it will be to say goodbye. Sometimes letting go is the only way to give a beloved pup the peace and rest they deserve. I pray you can find the advice you need to make the best choice for you and your sweet girl. Wishing you strength and comfort. ♥