“Do dogs grieve?” It’s natural to wonder about this, especially if you have noticed some changes in your dear dog after the loss of a canine or human family member. To help answer that question, integrative veterinarian Dr. Julie Buzby invited end-of-life-care veterinarian Dr. Dawnetta Woodruff to the blog. Dr. Woodruff discusses grieving dog symptoms and provides heartfelt advice for helping your dog (and yourself) through the grieving process.
When talking about a dog’s end-of-life care, there are a lot of factors to consider. Is it time for your sweet friend to enter dog hospice care? How do you start preparing for your dog’s euthanasia? Will you know when to euthanize your dog? Should you go to your family veterinarian or plan an in-home dog euthanasia?
Plus, you may also have questions about grieving the loss of your dog. How will you and the rest of the family process that loss? Will your surviving dog(s) be sad? How will you know if your dog is grieving?
There’s no one-size-fits-all answer to questions about the timing of hospice or euthanasia and what is the best way to say that final farewell. And in the same way, grief is different for everyone (and every dog). But dogs do grieve. And as dog parents, it can be comforting and helpful to have some idea of how best to support and help a grieving dog in the midst of your own grief.
Do dogs grieve the loss of another dog?
After the death of a dog (or absence from the house for another reason), sometimes the remaining dogs seem to go about life as if nothing has changed. But, other times the dogs who are left behind act as though their entire life has been turned upside down—because it has been.
Some dogs will grieve for a short time and seem normal within a few days. Others will need weeks or even months to adjust and begin to find a new sense of normal. The loss of a companion changes so much about our lives and our routines, and it is no different for our dogs.
If you had two dogs who were a strongly bonded pair, the surviving dog may have more difficulty coping with loss than if you had two dogs who are “just roommates.” It is also common to see more intense grieving when the dog left behind is the only dog in the home. With two (or more) dogs, your canine family members may have an easier time coping since they still have a furry friend.
Do dogs grieve the loss of a human family member?
While not the main focus of this article, I did want to also mention that dogs may mourn the loss of a human family member. The missing person may have passed away. Or they may have simply moved out of your home.
When a couple goes through a separation or divorce, or when a young adult moves out on his or her own, dogs can be confused. They don’t know if the change is permanent or temporary. And they may have a hard time understanding the new living arrangement. This can cause them to respond very similarly to when someone in the family has died.
How do you recognize grieving dog symptoms?
After the loss of a dog or person, it is a good idea to watch carefully for signs of grief in the dogs left behind. Grieving symptoms can range from subtle to life-altering.
A 2022 Scientific Reports article surveyed 426 dog owners who had at least two dogs at the same time and lost one of them. The researchers discovered that for the surviving dogs:
- 67% increased their attention-seeking behaviors
- 57% played less
- 46% became less active
- 35% slept more
- 35% became more fearful
- 32% ate less
- 30% vocalized more often
In that study, 24.9% of dogs showed these signs of grieving for more than six months. The changes lasted for two to six months in 32.2% of dogs, and less than two months in 29.4% of dogs. The remaining 13.4% of dogs in the study didn’t show any noticeable signs of grieving.
Additional signs your dog is grieving
While not highlighted in that study, other signs your dog is grieving may include:
- Becoming a lethargic dog
- Restlessness
- Decreased or increased thirst in dogs
- Not wanting to go on walks
- Lack of interest in playtime
- Avoiding areas that smell like their deceased friend
- Spending a lot of time in their buddy’s old bed (or favorite place)
- Increased sleeping
- Change in sleeping patterns
- Sleeping or hiding in new places
- Pacing through the house
- Destructive behavior (e.g., chewing shoes, destroying toys, and damaging furniture)
- Hiding or avoiding human interaction
- Becoming very clingy and not leaving their human’s side
- Separation anxiety when left at home alone
- Shaking or becoming anxious in normal situations
- Complete unwillingness to eat
- Vomiting and/or diarrhea
What can I do to help my dog through his or her grief?
In many situations, it is possible to manage these symptoms of grief at home. Time and a lot of TLC can go far in helping your dog. More specifically, you may want to consider:
- Keeping your daily routines as close to normal as possible. This stability is helpful when such a big change has happened in your dog’s life.
- Giving your canine friend an abundance of extra love and praise.
- Encouraging your dog’s good behaviors and gently redirecting your dog if he or she is doing something concerning.
- Spending extra time snuggling, playing, walking, or going to your dog’s favorite places.
- Setting up regular play dates or joining friends for a walk in the park if your dog enjoys spending time with other dogs.
It may feel strange to spend time doing these fun things—as if you are “faking joy.” But finding ways to enjoy life in the midst of grief is helpful and important.
You are not forgetting your cherished companion who passed, or dishonoring him or her by smiling and enjoying moments of your day. Your departed dog would want you to be happy! And the quality time spent together will be good for you and your surviving dog.
What if the grief seems severe?
Sometimes though, your dog may need a bit more help to get through the grieving process. Or the stress of grieving might worsen or uncover an existing medical condition.
If your dog is experiencing destructive behavior, anxiety, shaking, crying, anorexia, vomiting or diarrhea, or other concerning symptoms, it is best to see your regular veterinarian right away.
Sometimes your dog may need a special diet, a bland diet for dogs, or an appetite stimulant for dogs. Or your furry friend may benefit from medications like Cerenia for dogs or omeprazole for dogs to help settle his or her stomach.
Additionally, your veterinarian may recommend calming chews or pheromones to help your pup relax and adjust. If this is not sufficient, your grieving pet may need to have prescription anti-anxiety medications to help him or her cope with the huge loss he or she has experienced.
Often, your dog will only need medications for anxiety for a short time. They help your dog feel better while you establish a new routine and a new sense of normalcy. These medications are not a “crutch,” but rather a necessary tool that allows you and your dog to work toward recovery.
Can my dog grieve himself or herself to death?
However, not all mourning signs are related only to anxiety, sadness, and stress. Sometimes, dogs might experience more severe symptoms if they have an underlying medical issue. Grief itself will not cause a dog to develop a new disease or die. But stress can “unmask” a disease that is already present.
Early in the course of chronic illnesses such as kidney failure in dogs and heart disease in dogs, or in the beginning stages of endocrine diseases like diabetes in dogs, our dogs may not show many signs. But when dogs experience high levels of stress due to a huge life change, their condition can become unstable. And they may suddenly look quite ill (even though the disease is not actually new).
Therefore, if you have concerns that your dog’s grief is severe, or that your dog might be dealing with an underlying illness, it is always best to talk to your veterinarian. He or she can be a great partner in helping you and your dog through this difficult time.
What if my dog starts acting out?
Another problematic result of grief in dogs can be undesirable or damaging behaviors. It is well known that stress and anxiety can cause behavior changes in people. And the same goes for our cherished dogs. If your dog is grieving and becomes destructive or aggressive toward the other dogs, seems to forget his or her training, or has other behavior issues, you might need help from a professional.
As mentioned above, some dogs experiencing grief may need the help of calming chews, pheromones, or medication to decrease anxiety and promote a calm attitude. However, this is not a “one size fits all” fix.
In addition to (or in place of) medications and/or supplements, your dog may benefit from training classes or learning a new skill (such as scent work, dock diving, or agility work). This can be a wonderful outlet, as well as a great bonding experience for you and your pup!
Alternatively, you may decide to work one-on-one with a dog trainer or veterinary behaviorist. Be sure to find one who has good references, and who uses positive training methods (rather than punishment-based methods). An excellent trainer or behaviorist can be an invaluable resource! He or she can help you reinforce good behaviors and find ways to discourage the concerning actions.
Can my own grief worsen my dog’s grief?
Understandably, dog parents may also be concerned that their grief is making things harder for their dogs. After all, dogs are sensitive creatures who tend to be in tune with how you are feeling. And scientific studies do show that when their owners are stressed, dogs may show more evidence of stress themselves. They pick up on our facial expressions, tension in our bodies, and our own signs of grief.
However, this doesn’t mean you should try to hide your feelings from your dog. Rather, it indicates that taking steps to work through your grief has the added benefit of helping your grieving dog too.
You might find it helpful to read books or articles about pet loss. A few of my favorites include:
Adults:
- When Your Pet Dies: A Guide to Mourning, Remembering, and Healing by Alan D. Wolfelt, Ph.D.
- Coping with Sorrow on the Loss of Your Pet by Moira Anderson Allen, M.Ed.
Children:
- My Pet Died: A Coloring Book for Grieving Children by Alan D. Wolfelt, Ph.D.
- When a Pet Dies by Fred Rogers
Or maybe you would prefer to join a support group online or attend a local pet-loss meeting. Talking one-on-one with a counselor can help you process your loss too. Additionally, it can be healing to find a personal way to honor the memory of your departed dog. I have compiled a list of 10 dog memorial ideas that can provide a great starting point.
If you need a nudge in the right direction, remind yourself that taking care of yourself and finding healthy coping mechanisms will not only help you—it will help your surviving dog cope as well!
Should I get another dog to help my grieving dog?
As you and your dog work through your grief, friends or family members may suggest getting another dog. They mean well. But it is up to you to decide if you are ready for another love in your life. And you have to factor in how it will impact your surviving dogs too.
Each set of circumstances is different. And the relationship you have with each dog is unique. So it is understandable that each time you say goodbye, the timeline for adopting a new dog will likely be different too.
You may feel ready right away. Or you may feel like you will never be ready to adopt a dog again. What was right for your friend, or what felt best to you last time, may not be best for you this time around. No one but you will know when the time is right—and there is no “perfect” time.
Factoring in your dog’s opinion
As for your surviving dogs, their situation is unique too. They may enjoy having more of your time and attention, and feel at ease with one less dog in the home. Or, your dog may seem to be looking for his or her buddy constantly. In this case, he or she may benefit from the companionship of another friend right away.
Many shelters and rescues will allow you to bring your dog along to meet a potential adoptee. This is a good way to see if your dog responds well to the possibility of a new friend. Some organizations will even allow you to have a “trial adoption” for a couple of days. While it can take time for a new canine family member to settle in, a trial period may give you some helpful insights regarding timing, and how compatible a new dog might be.
Please know, adding a new dog to your home is never replacing the dog you said goodbye to. He or she was a special part of your family, and can never be replaced! But sharing your home and your love with a new dog can be a wonderful way to honor the life of your past companion, and to help you and your surviving dog work through your grief.
You and your dog can make it through the grieving process
Grief is a complex emotion, and there is no right way to navigate loss. You and your remaining dog will likely have a roller coaster of good days, bad days, and indifferent days. Be gentle with yourself, and be patient with your canine family member. You are each doing your best in the middle of a difficult time.
Patience and love go a long way toward helping you recover. Seek help from those who have your best interests at heart. And don’t hesitate to reach out to veterinary professionals, behavior experts, and counselors. The journey may be long, but there is support available when you need it.
How did you support your grieving dog while you were grieving yourself?
Please provide tips or words of comfort for other dog parents.
we lost our 15 year old Malamute on June 4th. His two sisters are so depressed, no playing, not excited for walks, all they do is sleep in unoccupied rooms, one in a bathroom, the other in the corner of the kitchen. I have not washed the bedding to allow them to sniff, but they avoid. the dogs don’t engage with us, occasionally throw up and mess the floor. We took them in and health wise they are fine. It seems they prefer to be alone than cuddle with us. It kills up to see such depressed dogs. We thought of getting another male dog, but that feels like replacing and us humans are not ready for a replacement.
Dear Sharon,
I am sorry for the loss of your beloved boy. I understand your concern for your girls as they continue to grieve his absence. You may have to consider using one of the calming products that contain DAP (dog appeasing pheromone) to see if it helps improve their outlook. You can also talk to your vet to see if one of the anti-anxiety medications would be a good fit. Don’t give up hope. Keep trying to offer affection and activities that used to bring joy. Greif is a process for humans and dogs and everyone’s journey takes a different amount of time. Wishing you strength as you navigate this emotional path. Bless you and yours. ♥
I have had two pit babies, my female was 10 yrs old when she passed in the early morning of April 1,2023. My male is 8 yrs old now but is still showing signs of grieving (which idk till reading this article n all ur post n comments) but he still shakes at times for no reason n he never whined when she was here but now he whines all the time. He is always in the same room with me n when my husband or son comes in the room Simba will jump up beside me n get as close as he can like he’s protecting me. He is house trained n has been since day he came home but since my Sasha is gone, when I have to leave the house he has started peeing in my bed!!!!! Even when he’s not home alone n is being taken outside regularly. Please help me n tell me what to do to stop this behavior because what I am trying isn’t working n I can’t leave him out of my room because he knows how to open the door n go in in his own…lol when I’m home I’m always with him n he doesn’t do it everytime I leave so idk 😐
thanks
Hi Augusta,
I am sorry your boy is experiencing these worrisome behaviors since the loss of your senior girl last year. From what you describe I am a bit suspicious that this may not necessarily be grief on his part but more likely separation anxiety. It may be time to talk to your vet about an anxiety medication such as trazodone. Here is an article with more information: Trazodone for Dogs: Could it Decrease Your Dog’s Anxiety?
There are many products available that help with keeping a dog calm (treats, Thunder shirts, calming collars and sprays, CBD products, etc.). Also, I always like to rule out medical causes before assuming the problem is behavioral. So, if your boy hasn’t had any routine lab work performed recently, that could be a good place to start. Wishing you all the best as you navigate this tricky path. Bless you and your sweet boy.
We lost our beloved almost 16 year old Aspen the Westie yesterday morning. We had our vet come to the house and we set up a space in the backyard. I found nothing can really prepare you for what is about to happen but the night before I didn’t sleep so I stayed up holding her and reading articles like these which I found very helpful. We did all the things—I texted friends for support, I had a zillion of her photos printed and I made a memorial table of all her photos, sweaters, life jacket, collars over the years and all the Westie memorabilia I had collected over the years. I went to three stores and picked out all the white flowers I could find. This area has been my safe haven the last few days. I had a journal and wrote thoughts into it as soon as one came to mind. Before the vet came, I fed her a last meal—a grilled salmon filet which she ate up in about 10 seconds. My husband and I sat outside with her and read the tribute I had written down that included stories about her. Our vet explained the whole process before she did anything. Aspen seemed to fight the sedation part a bit which was hard to watch. Once she was asleep the vet then put in the IV and the euthanasia. I had her head in my lap and my hand on her belly so I could feel and see the last breaths. The final one was very difficult to watch but I encourage everyone to stay close and hold them as they go. Afterwards we had our other four dogs come see her. They weren’t as interested in her body but were sniffing around as if they were looking for her. The vet told us they just know. They may not know about finality and death but they know their sibling is missing. That day all the dogs responded to our sadness and they felt it with us. I recommend keeping blankets, bedding etc unwashed for a while so you and your other dogs can have those as comfort items. Again, there is literally nothing that can fully prepare you for this but you will know in your heart what instantly comforts you and it’s important to remember that everyone responds differently to grief. You aren’t alone in grief and your partner may not show physical signs of grief in the way you want them to. Friends and family may not say exactly what you want them to in your time of grief. However, it’s your time to grief so do what works for you is all the advice I can give. We all have to experience this at least once in our lives if your pet people and it is not an easy thing to do. Lots of hugs to anyone else going through this.
Dear Lyndsey,
My heart aches for you with your recent loss of Aspen. I know your heart is hurting and can only imagine how much you miss her. What a blessing you were able to be with her in those final moments. I am certain she knew how much she was loved and that your presence was a comfort. Thank you for being willing to share her story and your experience with our readers. May Aspen’s memory live on and continue to be source of joy in your lives. ♥
Good morning,
I have never owned a dog. But 7 years ago..We got two lab/cattle mix dogs,brother and sister.
The girl was in charge of her brother..We just lost her brother to anal cancer. when he passed away at home suddenly,we let her see him and snife him. But we had to put her in room when
they came and got him for cremation. She was not alone,but she was so protective of her brother,she would of attack gunnery or person.
Now it’s been 3days.We got rid of all stuff from when he was sick.But before sick. he has blankets on bed and counch that still smell like him.She smells the blanket locks it.And lays where he he layer on couch. Their is also soft toys he had.Should I clean them now or let her
have some time with them,and slowly start cleaning out his sent.And how long.She knew he was before he went,she would not ear his food,drink his water,or sleep where he was.But she is eating, drinking and not really playing. but moving around.she does still keep looking for him.
I can’t stop crying sometimes and my husband said don’t let her feel your grief. it could effect her.So can you please give some advise.
thank you,Valerie
Dear Valerie,
I am sorry for the loss of your beloved boy. It is ok to give yourself time and allow your pup to work through her emotions as well. There is really no right or wrong way to grieve, and each person (or animal) has their own path to walk as their heart is healing. Do what feels right to you. If you want to leave the blankets and toys for months, then that is fine. If you need to put them away so they don’t bring up painful memories, then that is ok too. Does your girl seem to find comfort from these items or is she merely investigating and laying where she would even if the blanket wasn’t there? It can be hard to say for certain, but again, do what brings comfort and peace to your heart. Wishing you and your girl brighter days ahead. Bless you both. ♥
Hello,
Thank you for the article!
My chihuahua lost her big guy (60lb. pit bull mix) this past summer. After 6 months, she is still going through her rough patch, self-isolating and looking sad and fearful at times.
But, I’ve been taking her with me on my errands and bringing her into all the stores that are dog-friendly where some of the shop keepers go nuts with affection and give her dog cookies. This new fun joint activity is helping her mood and our bond. I love having her with me, trotting along side of me in the stores in her perfect heel. I’m so proud of her.
I think, ultimately, that every little opportunity to help boost her mood is all around helpful for her healing and adjustment. She’ll get through it eventually. She’s a resilient little girl.
Hi Celestina,
I am sorry for the loss of your big guy last year. What a blessing you still have your girl by your side. I think taking her with you on outings is such a great idea. Thank you for sharing your story with us. Wishing you and your sweet girl many happy years together!
We got 2 puppies in 2007. We lost one in 2/23/2023. I do not recognize the other dog at all she has done a complete 180. She’s a mini doxie who use to always want to be in my lap, play fetch with her special toy, whined when she wanted something to eat or to play. Since the loss of her slightly older sister she no longer does any of these things. If I put on my lap she immediately wants to get down. She’s longer has interest in playing with her toy and hasn’t been vocal about anything. I can’t remember the last time I heard her whine or bark.
She pottys in the house and when not sleeping (she sleeps in the other dogs bed) she just walks around the house or sits at the doorway. She still sleeps in my bed but not all night. I’m not sure what to do.
Dear Bessie,
My heart aches for you as you face this difficult situation with your little pup. While grief may be contributing to these worrisome behaviors, I am also suspicious that this may be the early stages of dementia or what we also call canine cognitive dysfunction. I will attach links to other articles with more information. Please reach out to your vet and let them know about your concerns. There may be a medication or supplement that could make a big difference in your girl’s quality of life. Praying for answers and a clear path forward. Bless you and your sweet girl. ♥
1. Signs of Dementia in Dogs: Stages, Symptoms & Treatment
2. Canine Cognitive Dysfunction in Dogs: Signs, Symptoms, Solutions
On July 21, I had to sadly let go of my 16+ yo Aussie mix……It was the right thing to do for him…..I’m still very sad but at the same time, feel at peace with it.
My other senior girl (14 1/2 yo), who was so bonded to him had such a hard time with his absence…..My goal was to help her heal….Her behavior, appetite, everything changed…She was really struggling with this.
10 days later, something happened to her overnight….She couldn’t stand at all (even though we had walked around the yard a few hours earlier in the middle of the night)…I rushed her to our vet and they think it was something brain related…a stroke, bleed or tumor….She was 14 1/2 and I didn’t want to put her through extensive testing…..I let her go that morning.
I was completely devastated and feel like I failed her…….I truly believe she needed to be with him……..I hope someday I can find some peace her for her.
Hello Lori,
My heart breaks for you. Losing two dogs in such a short span of time would be devastating. It is clear from your post how much you loved them both, and I want you to know that you did not fail your dog in any way. You supported and loved her in the midst of your own grief, and made the merciful choice to let her go when her body started to fail.
You are in my thoughts as you continue to process the events surrounding the loss of your two beloved dogs. I hope that in time you are able to find peace and comfort. ❤️
Dear Lori,
I am so sorry for your loss. But your girl knows how much you love her! She just couldn’t bear to be without her companion.
You are a wonderful person and dog Mother. You will be in my thoughts and prayers. 🐾❤️
My one 15 y/o border collie passed six weeks ago. I still have my 13 y/o border collie. She is still not herself. What I do is take her with me everywhere I can which aside from running errands is everywhere. I take her for more walks and outside time too. Basically she’s with me more than before so she’s not alone. It helps a lot that I’m retired and realize that working pet parents can’t necessarily do this but for those that can it can help your dog and you
Hi Sheila,
I am sorry for the loss of your senior pup. Thank you for being willing to share your experience with our readers. This is great advice, and I am glad it is helping your sweet girl cope. Wishing you both happier days ahead. Bless you.